Latest / Mrs. PIE / From Overprotection to Trust: Shaping the Mother-Daughter Connection

Transcript

From Overprotection to Trust: Shaping the Mother-Daughter Connection · Mrs. PIE

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: we take arms over achere觀眾.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Hello, welcome back to.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: What are you laughing at?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Oh sorry, hello everybody.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: She was laughing before we started this live.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Introduce us, go.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Anyway, hello everyone.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Today we are going to be diving into a topic that is close to our hearts, which is can moms and daughters really be friends?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: We will be sharing our thoughts, stories and maybe even a few disagreements.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: We're definitely going to have disagreements Because she started off laughing at me.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know what she was laughing at.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: You get on with her.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I know, i know.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Is that your intro?
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: That is my intro, thank you, thank you, so that is already.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I want to know.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Alright, so welcome everybody back to another episode.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I do want to do a quick shout out to everybody who's watching across all of our channels Facebook, linkedin, youtube.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Please make sure you like and share this video.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: This is actually going to be a fun 30 minutes with my co-host, isabella, and a shout out to great deck TV.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Hello, we're so glad we're here.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: We're here and maybe, maybe y'all have us back.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, so do you want to lead with the questions?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I know we have some questions we're going to try to run through.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: We have to first.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: All right, tell the people ask me, ask people and I get my back.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, oh, can I just say it's hashtag team mom to help me out?
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: hashtag team mom.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Or okay, hashtag team daughter.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead, i love y'all.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: In your opinion, what does it mean for mother and daughter to be friends and how would you define that kind of relationship?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: What does it mean for a mother and daughter to be friends?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: What does it mean?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's just a different relationship.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: There's times when you're, you know, as a mom, you're the mom and you're the way you communicate with things that you make the priority taking care and nurturing.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: But friends is different.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: There, you know, there's a lot of moms and daughters that aren't friends.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: They don't have an actual friendly relationship, like if I wasn't your mom, i'd still want to be your friend because I think, i know I'm coming.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I think that's the difference is that I genuinely, i genuinely, actually, you know, like you as a person, so I'll, i'll.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: He said you know, if I did it, i would not fake it, y'all would not be faking it.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What about you?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What do you?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: what do you think?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I think it, like you said, there's a like, different relationship from like friends, friends like people that you're not related to, or like people, just people your age, closer to your age, and then like your mom.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: You know, like I have a different relationship with my friends than I do with my mom And, even so, like I have a different relationship with my cousin.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I'm friends with my cousin, yeah, but it's like it's different.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: It's it's more like how I am with my friends, but it's still a little bit different because we're able to relate.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, i'm like our aunt did this, our grandpa did that, and we all know, we all know like our family, yeah, so like, but like a mom, like I came out of you and you do.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I want my money back.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: You, just, you, just, i'm sorry, i just I started already.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: That was a hashtag.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Y'all saw that switch up.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Did y'all see how quick that was?
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I can't write my money back.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You just finished sharing the.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Actually like that goes to hashtag team daughter.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: So, for those of y'all who are catching up, we have a running tally You're either hashtag team mom or team daughter.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Let's know.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Let's know who you are in the comments.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: This probably gonna be team daughter all the way.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be team daughter.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I'm a team daughter.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, i think, yeah, i think you can be friends with your kids, like, oh, yeah, yeah, you gotta make sure that there's still like boundaries and boundaries.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, absolutely, i agree, i totally get it.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I totally get it.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just, that's just, that's just.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I was going to say something but I forgot.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Anyway, what's your next question?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get on my nerves.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Can you share personal experiences or anecdotes that highlight a friendship dynamic between a mother and daughter, personal experiences that highlight a friendship, this, this, definitely, if you can work with your kids, yeah, it also.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I would Wait.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: There's a hashtag team.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, ok, this Nate is our road manager.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: He has to be a hashtag team.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Mom, sorry, it's a biased opinion, i'm hurt.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: No, ok, so an experience, i think, yeah, i think this is one of them.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: A lot of again, a lot of people talk about wanting to build legacy with their kids, or they might have a business that they intend to turn over to their kids, but you actually have to like them And this is one of those experiences where we're working together and we're growing together, and I think this is a good one for those parents who are starting out a business.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: That you're intended.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Again.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: You know, maybe you're hoping you can turn over to your kids.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: You've got to have, you really do have to have, see, see, there's a facts for real.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: You've got to have a.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Ok, she's here for you.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Bella has fans.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: She's hi, ms Nikisha, you do have to actually bring the kids into the business first and then right, don't you think so?
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And what have you learned as another part of this crazy crew working alongside, like what is different, working with your mom?
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: She don't work for me, she work with me.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I would rather work with you than for you because I don't feel like you are my boss in more than one sense, yeah, yeah, because, like you're the boss of me in a mother, like a parenting stitch, yeah, but like in this, like we're coworkers.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know we're on a level.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, yeah, and I do.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I think you know You have to put my name first.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: She did put your name first.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: What is happening, but I do?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: another piece of I mean just through me, another piece of advice I was going to say with working together is listening to the ideas that your kids bring to the table.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I'm way over 50.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And the way that I'm, you're not way over 50.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I'm 51.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I'll be 52.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: This That's what I'm.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: That is not.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: That is not.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: That's like tipped over Mommy.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: We know people who are way over 50.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Don't shade people on the show.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: We're live, i'm not.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: That's not a shade.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: If you think it's shade, you need to check your own beliefs and your own mind, because it's not.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Age is never a shade.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: That, ladies and gentlemen, you are 51.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: That was seven minutes in And we are.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: That's like me saying I'm way over 13.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: That's true, you're 14.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I see what you're saying, but the point I was trying to make is that you do need to listen to the advice of your, of your, of your kids, and they bring a different perspective, whether it's to your business, sometimes it's to your problems, and I think a lot of that has to do with, like, how I was raised, because you know, i'm always standing and we don't relate West India is my age.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: We don't relate to our kids in the same way.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Kids are seen and not heard is what a lot of people my generation, that's what they lean towards.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: But I feel like I can share, you know, anything with you, as long as it's appropriate.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, i should hold.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, i am still your kid, so that would be a little odd if it wasn't Because I am your daughter.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you share DNA.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: There's that, yeah.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So I want to ask a question, like I think one of the challenges is especially for teens and parents of teens, or you know, parents of like or say kids, kids that are, like, i say, like in their 20s, that what are some of the things that teens look for in like a mother-daughter relationship?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I think one of the most important things when you're a teenager is privacy, because you need to know, because, yeah, a lot of parents who don't give their kids privacy, like I know people whose parents, like, rip off their doors because they're not, because they don't trust them, or they just like you don't, you're in my house, you don't deserve privacy.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're like, we're teenagers, we're at that weird stage.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: We're not adults, but we're not little kids.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: We need our own space to grow and to learn and to have our own experiences.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just like not being not having like hella, not not being like hovered over you know, like being able to have space and have our own experiences without having, like, our parents don't have to be there, you know, and just like having trust enough to like because you trust me and know that I'm not going to like go to situations that I know I'm going to get hurt or I'm in trouble and I don't associate myself with people or I don't, i don't hang out with people that I know are going to get me in trouble.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: So, i think, trusting that your kid is going to make the right choices And, even if they mess up, acknowledging that they're still a kid and that you're made we were never, no one is perfect.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: We were made to mess up Because you can't you literally you can't learn anything without failing first.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And I think it's really important because if you, if you hover over your kidding, you never let them make mistakes, oh, they can't grow, they can't learn that, oh, you're not supposed to do this, oh, this is not smart.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Until they leave the house, they're out on their own, and then they make bad choices because they don't know, because they've never seen the outcome.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: That's important, that discipline is also also plays a role because knowing that, even if your kid didn't get hurt, that what they did was not right And that, like, they should know, but not being not being so harsh, but just like oh, i'm gonna take away that are, like you know, few days.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: You know, don't be too extreme depending on, like what happened, but like extreme And don't don't be too lenient.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Just find it's.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Parenting is hard, especially teenagers, because teenagers are we're insane.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I apologize, i know some people were crazy.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we've got some issues.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: It's okay for parents to mess up too, because y'all are still learning, you're still people.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: There's never a moment in time where you're not gonna learn something, because even if you're out of school, even if you're 20, 30 years, out of college, out of high school, out of middle school, out of elementary school, you're, you're you're.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: You're still learning every day.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: You know, you're still like.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: You have to let kids experience things so that they're able to grow and not being like.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: You don't have to, you don't have to be on their tail as much, as as much as you want to, to make sure they're like, oh, like.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I need.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: I need to make sure that my kid isn't doing something Yeah or like that my kid is okay, because I respect that.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: You know, i respect wanting to protect your kid, but at some point you're going to have to let them go somewhere on their own And let them do things on their own and let them learn and just and because I can't, like I can't do something with something.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Do you know how hard it is to do something Like if you're writing something, if you're reading something with someone covering?
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: yeah, and it's the exact same way with parenting, because a lot of people want to be right there with your kid when they're not going to be able to do what they want to do or what they should be able to, because you're right on their neck, you're bleeding down their back, their spine is tingling from from your hot breath on their on their neck.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: It's creepy.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: So there's a comment as a parent, learning to give space to your kid, even when they make a mistake and you want to scream, hopefully builds trust within the kid.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: To come to.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: That is is that's a whole clip, that is.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: That is perfect, that is on spot.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And then there was another, another comment that thank you, that Miki said loves our relationship.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Privacy is hard And it's true, we weren't.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: We weren't taught that at all.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: You know a lot of books my age, age range, you know, we weren't taught that.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: What are?
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: what are some of the things like I was trying to think, like if somebody asked us what we were doing before we even got on the live.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Like this is our, like this is what was what.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, what is what am I?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: what's my thing this week?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: What am I in?
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Is it important that you know, like you know, as you're building a friendship with your, with your daughter or your mother, what are some of the things that you think are kind of like baseline, like you should know, like you should know, like what they, like you know, be quiz me.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: She quiz me on her favorite things.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: When we're at we're, we're like walking into target.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: And she was like Bella, what's my favorite food?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I was like you have one.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: And she was like, yeah, you're right, i was like you don't have one, but if you did, it'll be green.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: She's like, oh yeah, she was like what's my favorite song?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I was like you don't have one, you don't have a lot of papers.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Like he's like, yeah, she could not.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: She could not name.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: You could name my favorite color, my favorite food.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I'm too don't know.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I can barely remember your birthday.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: He doesn't know the year I was born y'all?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Is it 2009?
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: 2007?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Do the math.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: If I turn this year, how old Warringgreens?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that that points to like the pressure of being friends with your mother, daughter, and the and that pressure of being friends, you don't have to like put so much energy into it.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i think I feel like the thing is, most daughters would love to have a close relationship with their moms, but because of how their moms act, they're not.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because a lot of times, parents overreact, like even For very simple things.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: A lot of times they overreact like You know, dramatic, but parents are even more dramatic.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what their kid has done and it's wild, but that's why are you?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: it depends, but sometimes, oh little, it's a little much.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: You know what's?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: what do you guys like to do together?
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Target, we like I like driving her to Target and stalking her in there.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Well, but other than that, like do we do a lot of stuff together?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I think we share the same space, but we're in the house 24-7 together, because I don't wear the summer and mom works from home, so save me.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: We're in the house and if I need to go somewhere, she's not.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, yeah, we like different things, like we don't like the same things and I think, right, we don't like the same things.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: Like she likes musical musicals.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I don't hate musicals, i can't.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: So both my parents hate musicals.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: No, you dad.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: No, dad loves me dad.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: No, he doesn't, don't lie, he hates me both.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i'm sorry, he only likes Hamilton.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: It's only when he'll watch him.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that counts.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I love Hamilton.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Hamilton.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Set up Linman.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Well, i love you.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Um, we'll tag him later.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: He's an icon and a legend.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And Pull me in a musical, babe.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I can say I mean musical.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: That's why Mckisha's your new mama.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: She loves musicals.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I love Ariel.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: She's awesome.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i don't think so.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: That's the other thing about Having a friendship.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Like you don't have to, you don't have to like the same things.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Like you just won't like again, i love less wins and you don't.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: oh, i think we just lost a.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: She'll come right back.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know what happened, i don't know.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: There's a little test, a technical glitch, all right, she'll come right back.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So, as the daughter, are you overprotective of your mother in public, when men approach her?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i don't know what happened.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: This is your question.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: As a daughter, are you overprotective?
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, first of all, I've never been there.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: When men approach my mother, the only man's a mother.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: My mother is my father.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: It doesn't pick up on the cues, i Don't see them because I'm not looking, i'm truly not.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: And guys don't approach me.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: No, they do, no, they don't, no, they don't approach you.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: But they, i see them looking and I, I usually, i usually give a look, the look.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Why don't you tell me then?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: because you're 14 and I, you know I don't want to have to go to jail for nothing.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, mckisha.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, can we pause and recognize?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: This was not another son moment.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I really feel like Late twins are my sons.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: They've never met me, no, but they're my, absolutely not.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I don't have brothers.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: The only other sibling, the only a sibling that I have, is my sister.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Yes, love you, pookie, i'll see you later.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Um, i only have one team mom, but it's a bias team mom.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: It's a bias Mckisha.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Mckisha, are you on my team?
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: She's team daughter.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: She's definitely team daughter.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: She's already got you covered.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: She's got you covered.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: So, okay, what kind of advice would you give to teams like?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: there's a question that was on our, because we came up with some questions.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Y'all Can a close friendship between a mother and daughter have a pot have any positive impact on your mental health or just your well-being, and how so?
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of times parents like a lot of things that teams get like really sad about, like a lot of causes of like I'm not going to say depression because I don't know all of the causes of it and nothing Yeah, but a lot of reasons why teams are closed off or like stassy, i guess, towards your parents is because a lot of times the parents aren't, they're not close.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes make it feel like you can't be close without like being like super, like like the boundaries across Like yeah, like sometimes parents feel that you can't be, you can't have a good relationship with your kids, or you kids feel they can't have a good relationship with your parents because of boundaries.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: But I think the boundaries that are crossed, like the boundaries that you set, are the ones you set.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so if you feel the need, if you feel like I really wish I was close to with my kid, analyze the boundaries that you have with your kid and the way that you treat them and the way that you talk to your kid.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's going to end here Like if you have a conversation, sit down, pay, like is there any ways you think that we can improve our relationship?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Is there anything, any notes that you've had, anything that you're like maybe I could do better on this?
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Do that, because I guarantee kids have a lot of opinions on how their parents are parenting And they're like maybe they're like oh, there's too many boundaries, i can't do anything.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Too many rules, i can't do anything.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Because I have this with a lot of people whose parents are like no, you can't go out, you can't hang out with your friends, you can't go somewhere, you know, without me, which is I get, like I get it, you want to protect them, but like, still, healthy boundaries.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Maybe it comes down to communication, because there, yeah, i think it comes down to just communication, because if I say no, it's there's a reason in context why it's a no, not just a no, and helping you to understand, like, why that maybe this is not the right time.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's something we revisit, not just a total no.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: But there are times when parents have to make parenting is hard and parents have to make decisions that sometimes it breaks our heart to say no, but we know we have to say no because it's just not what's in the best interest.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: So I have one more question before we, before we shut this down, are there any practical advice that you would give to teens that are trying to build their relationship, teen, teen daughters that are trying to build their relationship with their moms?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: That strongly depends on the relationship you're at, because if your relationship is that you can't talk to one another or your mom will get angry, you try to talk to her about something that she did Like.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: If your mom like hurt your feelings, it's it's.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it can be very difficult to talk to her about it because she might blow up in your face, she might, oh, you think I hurt you, so you think of a bad mother that are like and they'll blow up.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of times people, a lot of people can't take criticism, especially not from children, because a lot of people don't respect teenagers opinions because they're like oh well, your children.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: But you forget that we are functioning, we have, we have work conscious, we have opinions, we have beliefs, we have thoughts about every little thing under the sun.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Like it's it's.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: It can be very hard based on your mother And I don't think that if it's not healthy for you to try to go out.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: If it's not healthy for you to go out of your way to make a relationship work, don't, because if you're, if you're, it's either way it puts your it's.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Even even if that's your mom, it's still a relationship.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, relationship needs boundaries.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Relationships need to be healthy for them to work, and if it's not healthy, it's going to fail and someone is going to end up hurt.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and a lot of times it's the kid.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because a lot of times they're like you're my mom, why don't you care about me?
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Why don't you treat me like this?
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I see all these other moms treating their kids like this.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Why aren't I?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Why am I my exception?
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Why am I not?
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of times people and mothers are very, very jealous, they're very judgy to their daughters.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely Like there's a big difference between a mother and her sons and a mother and her daughters.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, big difference.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Because you're like oh well, we have the same gender, so we like you know, i can talk about her body, i can talk about what she keeps, i can put that in the third and I'm like no, yeah, and especially because you are her parent, you will hurt her feelings.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow, so thank you.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: So we still have have to practice five ways to improve Yeah, put yourself in issues before arguing.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Have realistic expectations and actually communicate them often.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Be open about your needs, ask them about their needs and create a relationship of trust.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: This is spot on.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you for that.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: This is awesome.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for that.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: All right, well, listen, my friend, i think we did really well.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: We did.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: We only argued once.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: That's a lie, i don't know.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't keep the count, but we didn't argue 24,000 times a day.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we argue every day, all day.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: It's okay because it's healthy.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It is healthy.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: We love healthy banter.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Here he is, we're communicating.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: So with that y'all, i hope, i hope this helps somebody.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I think this was really good.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Just again, we're just sharing what works for us.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: We do agree that moms and daughters can actually be friends to Bella's point, as long as you have boundary.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: To Mckisha's point about creating a relationship of trust You know all of these things And so you know, just like I give flowers to everybody who comes on my shows on Tuesday, we give flowers to you while I'm on my show On Thursday you're the best daughter money could buy.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I said it.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry y'all, i was trying.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I really worked on that.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: By the way, i really you didn't, i didn't, you did, i did.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: You would have thought Is this good?
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Is this good?
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: You're the best daughter money could buy.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: That's what you would have said.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Well, can I say this?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: No, it didn't come off like I thought it would, but I appreciate any last words before we close this showdown.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, subscribe, follow, like, comment, share.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Tell your friends, tell your mama, tell your grandma, tell your great-grandma, tell your dad, granddad, great-granddad, tell your aunt, your uncles, your cousins, your sisters, your brothers, your friends, your teachers.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Thanks for watching.