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Seeking Your True Self: Energy, Confidence, and Purpose in Midlife · Create The Best Me

0:01
Carmen Hecox: Well, Hello there fearless midlife trailblazers, Welcome to Create The Best Me.
0:07
Carmen Hecox: If you are new here, I'm so glad you made it here.
0:10
Carmen Hecox: If you're a returning listener, welcome back to the one and only place where we encourage and empower women in midlife to pursue their dreams and live life to the fullest.
0:23
Carmen Hecox: I'm Carmen Hecox, your host and personal development coach.
0:27
Carmen Hecox: Today we have a truly special guest with us.
0:31
Carmen Hecox: Joining us is the remarkable JJ DeGeronimo, an award winning author, keynote speaker who has made waves, not just in the tech industry but, also in the realm of personal development and empowerment.
0:48
Carmen Hecox: With a mission to elevate women's frequencies, and amplify their future impact, JJ's Combined Mindfulness, Energetic Practice, and Proven Strategies to Light Up the Way.
1:05
Carmen Hecox: She's been featured in esteemed publications like Forbes, Wall Street Journal, and Thrive Global, and her portfolio boasts three books, two podcasts, and two global online communities, and numerous in person experiences.
1:25
Carmen Hecox: Today, she's here to share insights from her latest book, Seeking 74 Key Findings to Raise Your Energy, Sidestep Your Self Doubt, and Align Your Life's Work.
1:40
Carmen Hecox: So buckle up as we dive into a conversation that promises to be enlightening and transformative.
1:48
Carmen Hecox: Let's welcome JJ JJ DeGeronimo, oh my goodness, I can't believe I have you, on Create The Best Me.
1:56
Carmen Hecox: This is a pleasure to have you on.
1:58
JJ DiGeronimo: Oh my goodness.
1:59
JJ DiGeronimo: We're going to have a great conversation.
2:01
Carmen Hecox: Yes, we are and today's conversation is about this beautiful little masterpiece that you have carefully put together.
2:11
Carmen Hecox: I'm going to say right now, it is an awesome book.
2:14
Carmen Hecox: I love it.
2:14
Carmen Hecox: I felt like you and I were in the same room and you were coaching me through different little emptiness that I had inside me.
2:23
JJ DiGeronimo: That is amazing.
2:24
JJ DiGeronimo: That's amazing.
2:25
JJ DiGeronimo: This is my third book.
2:26
JJ DiGeronimo: And they say your third book is like your most honest book or your true book.
2:30
JJ DiGeronimo: And I have to say that is true for me.
2:33
Carmen Hecox: JJ, first of all, tell the audience who you are.
2:37
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, I think I'm just like you.
2:39
JJ DiGeronimo: I mean, I'm a woman trying to make a difference, take care of my family, show up at work in the best capacity, get things done, feel like I'm present.
2:49
JJ DiGeronimo: Be a good girlfriend, be a good daughter.
2:52
JJ DiGeronimo: Try to realize that my kids are, you know, my biggest lesson and be there for the lessons we're there to learn together.
3:00
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I think in a lot of ways, I'm like every woman out there just trying to get up every morning and not only be a big, good participant in the world, but put forth.
3:13
JJ DiGeronimo: Love and make a difference in my own way.
3:17
Carmen Hecox: And I admire you because you were living the dream that most women want to live.
3:25
Carmen Hecox: And that is be that big executive.
3:28
Carmen Hecox: Sit in the big girl chair.
3:30
Carmen Hecox: Make those decisions and see beautiful results.
3:33
Carmen Hecox: But you walked away from that.
3:36
JJ DiGeronimo: Yes.
3:36
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, I had an inner turmoil that I could not deny.
3:40
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like as much as I wanted to stay, my soul had other plans for me.
3:47
Carmen Hecox: And I'm glad you did it because if you hadn't have done it.
3:51
Carmen Hecox: I wouldn't have read this amazing book.
3:52
Carmen Hecox: That is book number three for you.
3:55
JJ DiGeronimo: Thank you so much.
3:56
JJ DiGeronimo: Thanks for taking the time.
3:57
JJ DiGeronimo: We're all so busy.
3:58
JJ DiGeronimo: So, the fact that you took the time is.
4:00
JJ DiGeronimo: I don't know, it's just the greatest gift, I think, for me, when you're writing, and let me just say I'm not a writer, just, and I, I guess I need to lean into that being my third book, but I'm dyslexic, so the thought of writing just never crossed my mind, because I got such bad grades in English when I was in high school, and it's not because I couldn't tell a story, but because I didn't know sentence structure, or I forgot my"EDs," or I didn't have the"S," and I think sometimes some of our challenges prevent us from leaning into what is calling us.
4:30
Carmen Hecox: Yeah.
4:30
Carmen Hecox: Well, I know a lot of women are blessed with this book.
4:35
Carmen Hecox: I want to read this.
4:36
Carmen Hecox: this is a quote from your book.
4:38
Carmen Hecox: I'm taking a couple of little quotes.
4:40
Carmen Hecox: It says,"one of the best lessons that life's work is not to figure out the how.
4:46
Carmen Hecox: Our life's work lesson is to the whispers, to hear them and respond to the nudges that are presented themselves to us." Talk a little bit more about that.
4:58
JJ DiGeronimo: Huge lesson for me, huge lesson.
5:01
JJ DiGeronimo: I, like many women want to have everything mapped out, right?
5:04
JJ DiGeronimo: I want to know A to Z and I want to know when I'm taking a break and how it's going to happen and who I'm going to partner with and what I'm going to do if something doesn't work and what I've learned over the last decade is that I don't have to worry about the how.
5:17
JJ DiGeronimo: In fact, whatever you believe in your higher calling, whatever you call it, you know, they've got your back.
5:23
JJ DiGeronimo: Like you just need to lean into what is calling you.
5:27
JJ DiGeronimo: And I love to share that because I feel like so many women are sitting on the edge thinking, should I do it now?
5:35
JJ DiGeronimo: Is now the right time.
5:36
JJ DiGeronimo: I don't have the money.
5:37
JJ DiGeronimo: I don't have the resources, but I really encourage women to lean into just what is calling you.
5:42
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I've had very distinct times in my life that this has happened to me.
5:47
JJ DiGeronimo: And just over the last 15 years in 2006, I was sort of guided to start a women's group.
5:52
JJ DiGeronimo: I sat on it for two years in 2008.
5:54
JJ DiGeronimo: I started the women's group.
5:56
JJ DiGeronimo: That's still on LinkedIn today.
5:57
JJ DiGeronimo: It's over 10, 000 women.
5:59
JJ DiGeronimo: And I sat there for two years thinking, oh my gosh, how could I be the one?
6:03
JJ DiGeronimo: What would I do?
6:04
JJ DiGeronimo: How would I do it?
6:05
JJ DiGeronimo: What if nobody comes?
6:07
JJ DiGeronimo: In 2016, I was really guided to bring women together outside.
6:14
JJ DiGeronimo: That was the message, bring women together outside.
6:16
JJ DiGeronimo: And of course I was thinking, what does that mean?
6:19
JJ DiGeronimo: How do I do that?
6:20
JJ DiGeronimo: Do I do it right now?
6:21
JJ DiGeronimo: And it wasn't until 2018 that I launched my first retreat and the retreat was outside.
6:28
JJ DiGeronimo: It was with mother nature.
6:29
JJ DiGeronimo: It was with, uh, lightworkers and energy practitioners.
6:33
JJ DiGeronimo: And in 2020, I was leaving Mount Shasta after a retreat I attended, and it said, bring the mystics together.
6:42
JJ DiGeronimo: That one only sat on for a year, but I think sometimes we're guided towards things to do, but our first question is, how would I do that?
6:49
JJ DiGeronimo: Am I the right person?
6:51
JJ DiGeronimo: No way I'm going to do that.
6:52
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm going to fail.
6:53
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm going to look ridiculous.
6:54
JJ DiGeronimo: My friends and family are going to think I lost my mind.
6:56
JJ DiGeronimo: And my encouragement is just to lean into it, just research it, make a phone call, maybe write up a summary.
7:02
JJ DiGeronimo: Nothing major, but lean into what is calling.
7:05
Carmen Hecox: Would that be intuition?
7:07
JJ DiGeronimo: Yeah, I mean, I think it's our inner voice, and you can call it intuition, you can call it soul guidance, but I feel like if you create quietness in your life, if you find time to just be with yourself and make a habit of that.
7:22
JJ DiGeronimo: You will get guidance.
7:24
Carmen Hecox: And the chapter that I really, really loved.
7:27
Carmen Hecox: And I would say it's the one that just grabbed me and said, sit down, choose me.
7:32
Carmen Hecox: And that's because when I read it, the first thing that came to mind, as I'm reading all the words that you said is I thought about my mom.
7:40
Carmen Hecox: And then I thought about myself.
7:42
Carmen Hecox: And I know that as a woman, we find it so difficult to spend money on ourselves.
7:48
Carmen Hecox: When we get on the airplane the first thing that the stewardess tells you is in case of an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then your young child, if you have a child with you.
8:01
Carmen Hecox: And so self-care is something that we feel so guilty about doing.
8:06
Carmen Hecox: But do you feel that when you took that trip to Sedona and you practice self-care for the first time, it was that the energy that you received going there helped you get to where you are today?
8:21
JJ DiGeronimo: Humm you know, I think that they're like you, we've talked about the, there's so many little steps, but I do think that was a big step in a series of little steps because it was my 40th birthday.
8:34
JJ DiGeronimo: I think most people want to have a party or travel with their spouse or do you go to a spa?
8:38
JJ DiGeronimo: But I was really being drawn to invest in myself or fill myself up.
8:44
JJ DiGeronimo: It was a time where I was very depleted.
8:47
JJ DiGeronimo: I had been working long hours.
8:48
JJ DiGeronimo: I was on a team that was exhausting me.
8:51
JJ DiGeronimo: Um, I didn't have the right help and I felt like I kind of was lost in my own yeses.
8:59
JJ DiGeronimo: And when I was writing a presentation at night, you know, after everyone had been sleeping, I found myself searching on Google for refueling retreats, retreats to reinvest, retreats that, get your energy back because I, I didn't really know what to do.
9:14
JJ DiGeronimo: But when I came across this particular retreat in Sedona, I almost got guilty even researching about it that I ended up shutting my browser several times before I actually got the guts to sort of ask my family, even though I was making my own money, I still felt responsible to ask, like, can I go to this.
9:32
JJ DiGeronimo: And as I talk about in the book, like it was so hard because you know, my husband was like, oh, sure let's go for your 40th.
9:38
JJ DiGeronimo: And then I had to be like, well, I really just need to go by myself.
9:41
JJ DiGeronimo: And I felt like I was denying him from celebrating with me in that way.
9:45
JJ DiGeronimo: But I knew I needed to go by myself and I was scared, but I knew I needed to take time out for myself.
9:54
JJ DiGeronimo: I had been with him over a decade.
9:55
JJ DiGeronimo: I had young kids and I just needed to be by myself.
9:59
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, after I got the hurdle of working it out with him, Then I had to go to work and ask for the time off and which was equally as nerve wracking, even though I had the time off, I knew I was shifting and I feel like I'm so proud I did that.
10:15
JJ DiGeronimo: But there were many times through the like steps of getting it organized that I almost backed out.
10:21
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like that's totally normal because we're so taught to do so much for so many other people and taking care of ourselves or even going on a trip ourselves seems selfish.
10:33
Carmen Hecox: Selfish to your family, selfish to your co-workers, your employer, even though this was going to make you a better employee, a better leader, a better mom, a better wife, because you were refreshing yourself.
10:53
JJ DiGeronimo: Yeah.
10:53
JJ DiGeronimo: I don't know.
10:54
JJ DiGeronimo: Like I just think even with all those things, like it's going to make you better.
10:58
JJ DiGeronimo: It's hard to know it when you're depleted, and you're overworked.
11:01
JJ DiGeronimo: It's like you're hanging out with a shoestring and you're hoping it'll make you better, but you're unsure.
11:06
JJ DiGeronimo: I just remember back to that time of like how unsettled I felt, but for me it was the beginning of my seeking.
11:13
JJ DiGeronimo: It was the beginning of really figuring out who I was because I had been what everyone wanted me to be for so long that I lost myself in the external striving and I needed to regroup.
11:28
Carmen Hecox: Another thing that you wrote in the book that just it's almost like a punch in the stomach because I need to be reminded of this.
11:36
Carmen Hecox: We cannot afford to wait until we feel 100 percent ready.
11:43
JJ DiGeronimo: Isn't that the truth?
11:44
JJ DiGeronimo: We cannot wait until we're a hundred percent ready.
11:47
Carmen Hecox: I mean, like you mentioned, these retreats that, these thoughts about forming retreats or things that you wanted to do and you waited two years or even more.
11:57
Carmen Hecox: Do you think that you were waiting to feel 100 percent ready?
12:03
JJ DiGeronimo: Hu well, as you know, from reading the book, you know, I had a lot of self-doubt.
12:07
JJ DiGeronimo: I had a voice that nagged at me constantly that I had to be perfect, and it had to be right, done right.
12:11
JJ DiGeronimo: And even the retreats, like who would come.
12:14
JJ DiGeronimo: What could I charge them?
12:15
JJ DiGeronimo: Did what they think they paid too much?
12:18
JJ DiGeronimo: I mean, I just, it really took me some time and a lot of mindfulness training with a practitioner to really get on the other side of those internal voices.
12:26
JJ DiGeronimo: But I could pair that with a lot of the stuff I talk about in my second book, which is, there's a difference of working on your career and in your career and self-efficacy is a huge piece of it.
12:35
JJ DiGeronimo: So self-efficacy is having a vision for where you want to go.
12:39
JJ DiGeronimo: And believing you can achieve it.
12:41
JJ DiGeronimo: And self-efficacy is something that you fill up.
12:44
JJ DiGeronimo: It's a bucket you fill up in your life.
12:45
JJ DiGeronimo: And you can only fill it up when you strive before you're 100 percent ready.
12:49
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I kind of knew, like, I didn't have to have, like, every T crossed or I dotted.
12:55
JJ DiGeronimo: But it was something I'd done for the first time.
12:57
JJ DiGeronimo: Like, putting a women's group together, writing my first book, starting retreats, now having a community of energy practitioners.
13:03
JJ DiGeronimo: I couldn't find a lot of people that had that trajectory.
13:06
JJ DiGeronimo: So, it's not like I'm looking outward being like, well, how did she do it and how she did it?
13:09
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I really had to get inside and be like, all right, if this is what you're supposed to be doing this time around as a human, you have to trust that you have everything you need.
13:20
JJ DiGeronimo: And the biggest challenge for you is stepping around that self-doubt.
13:24
JJ DiGeronimo: Getting on the other side of that, or at least trying to compartmentalize it.
13:27
JJ DiGeronimo: And just as Jen Sincero would say, just see what you can do.
13:31
JJ DiGeronimo: Just see what you can do without expectations, without having a full plan, just leaning into what is calling you.
13:38
JJ DiGeronimo: And trusting that the universe will guide you to your next step.
13:44
Carmen Hecox: Tell me, how did you learn to overcome your self doubt?
13:49
JJ DiGeronimo: Oh, well, it's there.
13:50
JJ DiGeronimo: It's there.
13:50
JJ DiGeronimo: My self-doubt's there every day, every hour.
13:53
JJ DiGeronimo: It's there all the time.
13:54
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, a friend of mine named it a couple weeks ago.
13:57
JJ DiGeronimo: You know, my middle name's Jane.
13:58
JJ DiGeronimo: So hey, Jane, let's just see what I can do.
14:02
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think for many of us, if you can kind of name that voice in your head that makes you doubt yourself so much or make you feel fearful or makes you feel like now's not the right time, let's just say, Hey, Jane, lets me just see what I can do, because there's really no fear in seeing, because There's no expectation.
14:22
JJ DiGeronimo: And when there's no expectation, there's no self-doubt.
14:25
JJ DiGeronimo: So it's been a lot of training myself and Brene Brown's been awesome.
14:30
JJ DiGeronimo: Her book,"Rising Strong," I love too.
14:32
JJ DiGeronimo: It's just been an amazing series of practitioners and videos and energy, visits I've had.
14:40
JJ DiGeronimo: And I've clued those all in the appendix because I just feel like so many women need to be able to reach out, step out beyond this voice.
14:50
JJ DiGeronimo: Because we need more women at more tables, like the world is lopsided right now.
14:54
JJ DiGeronimo: And if we're waiting to a hundred percent, there's no hope.
14:58
JJ DiGeronimo: There's no hope.
15:00
Carmen Hecox: In the book you talked about going to get some Reiki treatment.
15:05
Carmen Hecox: Do you feel that the Reiki treatment helped you get quiet, get more connected with who you truly are, what you want and being able to challenge your self doubt?
15:20
JJ DiGeronimo: I think yes, I do think Reiki, but I am an active practitioner.
15:25
JJ DiGeronimo: I really work on, you know, I'm not one you won't really find me getting a massage, but you will find me doing an acupuncture session.
15:32
JJ DiGeronimo: I feel like I'm really working on my nervous system.
15:35
JJ DiGeronimo: I want to calm my nervous system down.
15:37
JJ DiGeronimo: I want to be more in my flow.
15:39
JJ DiGeronimo: I want to be inside my body, right?
15:41
JJ DiGeronimo: So much of my life I lived outside my body because I was just getting, going, doing.
15:45
JJ DiGeronimo: I need to get back into my body.
15:48
JJ DiGeronimo: I need to ground myself.
15:49
JJ DiGeronimo: I need to be in the moment.
15:50
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, every practice I try and check out is because I'm trying to be in my body and find out where my blocks are.
15:59
JJ DiGeronimo: Where's the energy sitting?
16:01
JJ DiGeronimo: What am I holding that's no longer mine or I can release.
16:04
JJ DiGeronimo: And I just love energy practices and practitioners because oftentimes they are women and it's women helping women really live in their light, live in love, and I feel like it helps with the whole energy of women working together.
16:20
Carmen Hecox: You use the phrase Lightworker.
16:23
Carmen Hecox: Some people don't know what that is.
16:25
Carmen Hecox: I kind of learned a little bit about it when I, read a book by Jana Wilson.
16:29
Carmen Hecox: Tell me, tell us what is a Lightworker?
16:32
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, good.
16:32
JJ DiGeronimo: I'll you, and then you tell me how about.
16:34
JJ DiGeronimo: So I feel like a light worker is somebody that lives in light and love, so you have an option.
16:40
JJ DiGeronimo: You can live in fear, worry, anxiety, or you can live in love and light.
16:45
JJ DiGeronimo: And the light workers that have come across my path have done the work.
16:49
JJ DiGeronimo: They've done the work to get out of this anxiety, worry, fear-based living and move into love and light.
16:57
JJ DiGeronimo: And they've had to do a lot of inner work to do that.
17:00
JJ DiGeronimo: They've carved out time, maybe not every day, maybe not every week, but more often than not.
17:05
JJ DiGeronimo: To really work through their stories, work through their doubts, understand their relationships, not only with people, but with money, understand their self-expectations, and really work to work to be in the present moment.
17:19
JJ DiGeronimo: And those people have often gone on to illuminate the path for other people to do the work.
17:27
JJ DiGeronimo: To step into their fullness.
17:29
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like for me, now that I'm in this space, I meet hundreds of people in this space too.
17:36
Carmen Hecox: Yeah, well, in reading, her book, what I learned, and it was just very briefly because she touched on a lot of other different topics, but it was more of changing your mind as this is not happening to me, this is happening for me.
17:53
Carmen Hecox: And so seeing it as an opportunity for growth.
17:56
Carmen Hecox: What can I learn from this experience?
17:59
Carmen Hecox: You know, turning the negative into something positive.
18:03
Carmen Hecox: So, that's my little, tiny interpretation.
18:05
JJ DiGeronimo: Yeah, I love that mantra
18:07
Carmen Hecox: You also talked a lot.
18:09
Carmen Hecox: You, often phrase this in the book.
18:11
Carmen Hecox: You said from the corner of your desk, and I love that.
18:15
Carmen Hecox: Do you think that a lot of women out there have this like yearning inside that I am doing what I'm doing right now, my occupation.
18:25
Carmen Hecox: But deep down inside, I really want this other thing.
18:29
Carmen Hecox: And when you phrase from the corner of your desk.
18:33
Carmen Hecox: So, work on what you're doing, but don't give up the dream.
18:36
Carmen Hecox: Don't give up that thing on the corner of your desk.
18:39
JJ DiGeronimo: That was the original title of the book that is now evolved into seeking.
18:44
JJ DiGeronimo: But I would say that, and people are like, what do you mean?
18:46
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like the women that are working on something in the corner or off the side of their desk, that they, It's a passion project.
18:54
JJ DiGeronimo: It's something they feel inspired about.
18:56
JJ DiGeronimo: I've talked to so many women that are like, well, I hope one day it becomes the thing.
19:00
JJ DiGeronimo: But I will tell you like from the day I started a woman's events till now, it's been 15 years.
19:06
JJ DiGeronimo: I did not leave my day job for six years.
19:09
JJ DiGeronimo: After I started it off the side of my desk.
19:11
JJ DiGeronimo: And because I had to figure out revenue streams, I had to figure out what I was offering the world.
19:16
JJ DiGeronimo: And I just, for a long time, it was my fuel station.
19:21
JJ DiGeronimo: A part of my life that really filled me up.
19:25
JJ DiGeronimo: And I really did never think it was going to become my main thing, to be quite honest, when I started.
19:30
JJ DiGeronimo: But over time, the invites came.
19:34
JJ DiGeronimo: The opportunities came and it just became very obvious.
19:38
JJ DiGeronimo: So, if you're working on something off the side of your desk, keep at it.
19:41
JJ DiGeronimo: Just keep at it.
19:42
JJ DiGeronimo: You know, I only worked on my women's group like an hour a week and every quarter, I'd spend 12 hours on it.
19:49
JJ DiGeronimo: And that's how I grew it.
19:50
JJ DiGeronimo: So, it wasn't like I spent 18 hours in one week.
19:53
JJ DiGeronimo: It was one hour a week, but I was consistent.
19:56
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think if something's calling you, be consistent, schedule it in your calendar.
20:02
JJ DiGeronimo: Make it non-negotiable.
20:03
JJ DiGeronimo: Do not dismiss the activity until you actually do that one hour for yourself.
20:08
JJ DiGeronimo: And now, even now, I have pockets in my calendar that are self-development, self-care, nervous system work.
20:16
JJ DiGeronimo: Like, I put that in my calendar because I can't do the work I'm doing now unless I truly take care of myself.
20:24
Carmen Hecox: How difficult was it for you to be 100 percent at your day job?
20:31
Carmen Hecox: When I know there was more passion living on the side of your desk.
20:37
JJ DiGeronimo: That's a great question.
20:38
JJ DiGeronimo: You know, it's funny because I had times I could integrate it.
20:41
JJ DiGeronimo: Now, there were times where I was speaking on, my first book and, I almost missed that flight to get to my day job for the next morning.
20:47
JJ DiGeronimo: I had to present in Canada, and I was in New York City your energy will continue to raise.
20:52
JJ DiGeronimo: And as you raise your energy, new opportunities will come your way.
20:55
Carmen Hecox: Sort of like everything kind of aligned itself.
20:59
JJ DiGeronimo: It's true.
21:00
Carmen Hecox: Another thing that I thought was interesting, this is a quote from the book, and this is when you decided to go to counseling.
21:06
Carmen Hecox: Was I worth loving?
21:09
Carmen Hecox: I wanted my husband to acknowledge, see and love all things in me, but I didn't see love and acknowledgement in myself.
21:20
Carmen Hecox: And it was a sad truth.
21:21
Carmen Hecox: I think that a lot of times we as women want to receive something from others, but when we take a step back or maybe, look at ourselves from an outsider's perspective, what we're expecting to receive from others, we're not even doing it to ourselves.
21:40
JJ DiGeronimo: It's hard to hear.
21:41
JJ DiGeronimo: And I, you know, I guess I just to be as transparent as possible as I'm still working on that.
21:47
JJ DiGeronimo: Like I haven't completely come around the barrel on that and I'm still working to love all of me.
21:54
JJ DiGeronimo: And I do a lot of reading, a lot of self-development work.
21:57
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm still working on that.
21:59
JJ DiGeronimo: And you reading that out loud, like brings a tear to my eye because I've come a long way, but I still have a little bit more to do.
22:07
Carmen Hecox: And there's a lot of you to love.
22:10
Carmen Hecox: Because you're giving so much to many women.
22:14
Carmen Hecox: You're inspiring, you're changing women.
22:18
Carmen Hecox: You know, the way I see it the only way you can do that is through love.
22:23
JJ DiGeronimo: That is true, but we all have our hangups and we all have things that are in our closet that we're still working through.
22:30
JJ DiGeronimo: And I just, I would be dismissed to say that I'm on the other side of that.
22:33
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm not, I'm still working on loving myself and believing that I'm enough.
22:39
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like to your point, if I'm still working on it, where a lot of us are working on it, I feel like the one thing that has kind of resonated with, with me recently, as I'm reading, or I just finished the Vortex by Esther Hicks, and she's a big advocate that what happens outside of you is happening inside of you.
22:56
JJ DiGeronimo: So now, when I have triggers, a comment is said, a decision is made, my previous response was, I would feel bad about myself, or I would, but now I'm like, why is that triggering me?
23:09
JJ DiGeronimo: What is that making me learn?
23:11
JJ DiGeronimo: Why did that send me over the top, even if I don't say anything and I'm just like listening, but I can feel my energy slump down.
23:18
JJ DiGeronimo: And I really am just continuing to learn about myself and my journey and my triggers of self-love and acceptance and all of that.
23:27
JJ DiGeronimo: Because even though I do have a lot of things to celebrate, I'm still human and I'm still having this human experience that Is about the lessons.
23:36
JJ DiGeronimo: It's about the journey.
23:37
JJ DiGeronimo: It's about falling down and standing back up.
23:40
JJ DiGeronimo: And I don't know if I'll ever be fully done with that.
23:44
Carmen Hecox: The other thing that you talked about in the book, and I think you kind of sprinkled it throughout the book, but there was one chapter in particularly that talked about practicing gratitude.
23:54
Carmen Hecox: The universe will bring us exactly what we need in abundance if we appreciate what we have right now.
24:02
Carmen Hecox: And I think that that's something that we take for granted.
24:06
Carmen Hecox: You know, we don't see the blessings that are in front of us.
24:10
Carmen Hecox: Because we're seeking something else.
24:14
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, it's easy to do, right?
24:15
JJ DiGeronimo: Every commercial, every marketing campaign online it's about what we don't have and how much better it'll make us feel.
24:22
JJ DiGeronimo: And when I was writing this book, I had to turn the TV off.
24:26
JJ DiGeronimo: I had to stop the scrolling because I really wanted to keep such a high energy, high frequency as I call it, like on the FM radio.
24:34
JJ DiGeronimo: Frequency modulation is what FM radio stands for, which is funny because that's what I ended up getting a degree in is technology, which started on analog and went to digital.
24:42
JJ DiGeronimo: But it's funny to come back now is because I want to be at that 99.
24:46
JJ DiGeronimo: 7, that 102.
24:47
JJ DiGeronimo: 5.
24:47
JJ DiGeronimo: I don't want to be at 96 or 92 or even 88 on my radio station.
24:52
JJ DiGeronimo: And I had to turn off a lot of the things trying to get my attention because I felt like I couldn't write this book at the frequency I wanted to, if I paid attention to what everybody else wanted for me and what everybody wanted to tell me.
25:07
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think I really haven't gone back to it because I have such a, I'm really just enjoying the sacred space of the quietness in my life.
25:17
JJ DiGeronimo: And I do have shows I record.
25:19
JJ DiGeronimo: I do listen to podcasts.
25:20
JJ DiGeronimo: But I would say that I don't know when there's a tornado coming, which doesn't matter because I live in Ohio, but there's some things I just don't need to know about.
25:29
JJ DiGeronimo: And I need that space for other things I'm working on.
25:33
Carmen Hecox: So, you created this filter as to what you allow in your space and what you don't.
25:39
Carmen Hecox: In the book you also talked about, and I loved it for your vulnerability, is you talked about when you started your own business, you went on your own, that your business evolved a lot.
25:52
Carmen Hecox: There were projects that you started that, didn't, produce the results that you wanted.
25:59
Carmen Hecox: monetary results that you wanted.
26:02
Carmen Hecox: Tell me, how was it that you were able to see these as opportunities to refine your business?
26:10
Carmen Hecox: Mold it?
26:11
Carmen Hecox: It was just part of the growing process into what it's become today.
26:16
JJ DiGeronimo: Oh, my goodness, some of those lessons were painful.
26:19
JJ DiGeronimo: I mean, the lesson where I, like I spoke at an event, this was back in 2002.
26:23
JJ DiGeronimo: Remember I was telling you; I was trying to become a speaker.
26:25
JJ DiGeronimo: I had been speaking for five years, but I spoke at an event.
26:28
JJ DiGeronimo: I had to apply.
26:29
JJ DiGeronimo: They accepted me.
26:30
JJ DiGeronimo: I brought cue cards.
26:31
JJ DiGeronimo: And I just, I just did a horrible job.
26:35
JJ DiGeronimo: I mean, this was back in 20, 2002.
26:38
JJ DiGeronimo: And, um, I was thinking, I mean, they wrote reviews like, please don't ever come back again.
26:43
JJ DiGeronimo: You are a horrible speaker.
26:45
JJ DiGeronimo: You know, fast forward 20 years.
26:46
JJ DiGeronimo: I now do quite a bit of keynoting, but like each of those steps has brought me to this moment.
26:51
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think sometimes what we think is going to get us there or what we envision is the path is only a step.
27:00
JJ DiGeronimo: In fact, My second book,"Accelerate Your Impact," I didn't know there was a difference of working in your career and on your career.
27:06
JJ DiGeronimo: And in my forties, I realized how hard it was to get ahead, get to that next executive level.
27:12
JJ DiGeronimo: And I did a ton of research on why are so many women in middle management and how do you get that board invitation or that executive head nod or even that position.
27:23
JJ DiGeronimo: And I told my husband, I think that I published it in 16, I think 18 we were walking, that's one thing we do.
27:28
JJ DiGeronimo: We walk all the time.
27:29
JJ DiGeronimo: That's how we work through life.
27:30
JJ DiGeronimo: And my love language is quality time.
27:33
JJ DiGeronimo: So, it's really great.
27:34
JJ DiGeronimo: But I said, this must not be my main thing because I have no wind under my wings.
27:40
JJ DiGeronimo: Everything I'm doing, I'm lifting up and moving the box.
27:44
JJ DiGeronimo: This must not be what the universe wants me to do.
27:48
JJ DiGeronimo: Ah And little did I know, like, that I was going to write this book in 2022, four years later, and my work is going to be much more around illumination, mysticism, energy practices, mindfulness.
28:02
JJ DiGeronimo: And I'll tell you, there is wind under my wings now.
28:06
JJ DiGeronimo: But I wouldn't have been able to flourish had I not had every single one of those steps that happened before the age of 50.
28:13
Carmen Hecox: And what I really admired about reading that and going through the entire book was that you didn't give up.
28:21
Carmen Hecox: Cause some people would have said, you know what?
28:23
Carmen Hecox: No, I wasn't cut out for this.
28:25
Carmen Hecox: I was cut for the corporate life and I'm going back.
28:29
Carmen Hecox: What was it that kept you from staying where you were at?
28:34
Carmen Hecox: Knowing that this isn't working, but I'm growing.
28:39
Carmen Hecox: And I can see the future.
28:41
Carmen Hecox: I can see that this is going to be something amazing.
28:46
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, I definitely have help.
28:47
JJ DiGeronimo: Okay.
28:47
JJ DiGeronimo: So, as I told you, I love energy practices.
28:49
JJ DiGeronimo: I love the birth chart and human design and numerology and enneagram.
28:53
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I was constantly learning about myself, but I was in Miami beach in 2017 and I was at the standard really kind of cool hotel, but I was by myself a day.
29:02
JJ DiGeronimo: We had a wedding down there and I told my husband, I'm going to go a day early and just be by myself.
29:06
JJ DiGeronimo: Another time of just squeezing out a little time by myself.
29:10
JJ DiGeronimo: And, uh, he'd been doing a lot of work trips and I was home all the time.
29:13
JJ DiGeronimo: And I was like, I just need some more time by myself.
29:15
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I'm going to go a day early and then you meet me there.
29:17
JJ DiGeronimo: And he said, okay.
29:18
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I met with a birth chart woman and, um, she told me it was 2017.
29:23
JJ DiGeronimo: She goes in 2023, this is all going to come together.
29:28
JJ DiGeronimo: And I'm like, Oh, dear God, 2023! I've been already at this for three years on my own.
29:35
JJ DiGeronimo: There's no way I'm waiting till 2023.
29:39
JJ DiGeronimo: I think I'm pretty sure I left the place crying because I was like, this is so much work! And now it's 2023 and I have to say that like every little piece mattered and I wonder if I really needed to hear that because or if it was a blessing in disguise, because it did keep me going in times where I really just wanted to like get in bed and cry and put a pillow over my head.
30:02
JJ DiGeronimo: Um, but now looking back, like I needed every little piece because the universe has granted me this amazing center that's about an hour from my house on Lake Erie, which I believe is a healing center where all these energy practitioners are going to come together, all these authors.
30:19
JJ DiGeronimo: And I would not have been prepared for that in 2019 or 2020.
30:24
JJ DiGeronimo: Like I had to work through my seeking, which is what I share in that book"Seeking." I had to work through all those steps to be prepared for what the universe was offering me.
30:34
JJ DiGeronimo: And I wouldn't have been ready two, three, four years ago.
30:38
Carmen Hecox: And that's inspiring for me because last night I told my husband, I said, oh my gosh, I'm so tired.
30:44
Carmen Hecox: It was like eight 30.
30:45
Carmen Hecox: And I told him, I says, I just can't, I'm sorry, honey, I'm going to bed.
30:48
Carmen Hecox: I just can't, I'm tired.
30:51
Carmen Hecox: Because I'm like, it's hard.
30:52
Carmen Hecox: It is very hard to do this all by yourself.
30:57
Carmen Hecox: Because I am doing it I am you in 2019 doing it all by myself and I know that the reward is coming.
31:05
Carmen Hecox: Not just because you said it in your book, but because it is I know it is
31:10
JJ DiGeronimo: It is coming.
31:11
JJ DiGeronimo: It is coming.
31:12
JJ DiGeronimo: And every step matters.
31:13
JJ DiGeronimo: You cannot skip steps, but you can get help.
31:16
JJ DiGeronimo: So, like I use Upwork all the time.
31:18
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm always getting help.
31:19
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm having other women help me.
31:21
JJ DiGeronimo: And sometimes it's just like organizing a closet for me or doing something because I feel like money has a frequency too.
31:28
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, I'm constantly giving my funds to other women to like help me.
31:32
JJ DiGeronimo: And sometimes it's not in my office per se, but it's around my house.
31:36
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I would say keep at it.
31:37
JJ DiGeronimo: The other thing I do every other week, I have an astrologer that I work with, Molly, and she does a call every other week and tells you astrologically what's happening.
31:47
JJ DiGeronimo: And for some reason that gives me ease because I'm like, oh, she says, okay, this is going to be a hard day.
31:52
JJ DiGeronimo: This is going to be a great day to be productive.
31:54
JJ DiGeronimo: This is going to be a day that you're going to want to work out something on your taxes.
31:58
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, I don't do it alone.
31:59
JJ DiGeronimo: I have different people in my life that are helping to guide me on this path.
32:04
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like that for women is how it's supposed to be.
32:06
JJ DiGeronimo: We're supposed to work and work with each other because it is a collaborative approach.
32:13
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think you got to find people that are going to help you stay inspired, stay motivated, and feel like It's worth it.
32:26
Carmen Hecox: This is something that when I first received your book, I thought 74 keys to finding Why 74?
32:35
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, as you probably saw at the end of the book, my friend, Michele Laine, who was the woman hosting the retreat in Mount Shasta when I got Bring the Mystics Together, in the back of the book, I called her because I'm like, Michele, what does this number mean?
32:47
JJ DiGeronimo: Why does this keep coming to me?
32:49
JJ DiGeronimo: And it's funny because when she told me what it meant, and I credit her in the book on page 265, the number seven and four combined represent letting go of conditioning or patterns we have collected along the way that have been holding us back.
33:05
JJ DiGeronimo: This creates space for our light and gifts to shine through.
33:09
JJ DiGeronimo: 7 plus 4 is 11.
33:12
JJ DiGeronimo: The number 11 reminds us of our knowing and intuition with a powerful connection with the energies of the universe, ourselves, and others.
33:21
JJ DiGeronimo: And 1 plus 1 is 2.
33:23
JJ DiGeronimo: The spiritual number 2 highlights a partnership with the universe, our inner selves and one another to work together to co-create as you have a higher role on the earth.
33:36
JJ DiGeronimo: The hope is this book gives you additional glimpses into your knowing that shape your journey ahead.
33:43
Carmen Hecox: That's deep.
33:45
Carmen Hecox: That is really deep.
33:47
JJ DiGeronimo: And that's why I say the book, yeah, the book has a frequency.
33:50
JJ DiGeronimo: Like, it's not going to be for every woman.
33:52
JJ DiGeronimo: It's not going to be, but the people that are called to read the book, it is going to be like an energy for you to really remove some of the blocks and create some momentum for your level of impact.
34:04
Carmen Hecox: I remember, I was going through, I think it was Goodreads, and I was just kind of, I'd finished up a book, finished interviewing somebody, and I thought, oh my goodness.
34:13
Carmen Hecox: I feel like when I was in college, now what?
34:15
Carmen Hecox: Now what?
34:16
Carmen Hecox: I can't be in nowhere land, I need to have something.
34:19
Carmen Hecox: And so, I was scrolling and I came across your book.
34:22
Carmen Hecox: I saw the cover and I'm like, oow,"Seeking." The name, just"Seeking" it was interesting.
34:29
Carmen Hecox: And because, where I am within my journey in life, I thought, is this going to give me answers to what I am seeking?
34:38
Carmen Hecox: And so I thought I should buy this book.
34:41
Carmen Hecox: Then I received an email from Kelsey and she's like, hey, Carmen." And I said,"I thought you'd never ask.
34:49
Carmen Hecox: Of course I want to read that book."
34:52
JJ DiGeronimo: Isn't that amazing?
34:53
JJ DiGeronimo: Like, isn't that serendipitous?
34:55
Carmen Hecox: I even told my husband, I said, oow, there's this book right here on Goodreads.
34:59
Carmen Hecox: I think I want it.
35:00
Carmen Hecox: I think I'm going to buy this book.
35:02
Carmen Hecox: And I was tired.
35:03
Carmen Hecox: It was late night.
35:04
Carmen Hecox: And so, I didn't move.
35:06
Carmen Hecox: I didn't order the book.
35:07
Carmen Hecox: And then the next day I received the email and I said, remember that book I told you about?
35:11
Carmen Hecox: I think it was meant to be, because it's coming.
35:16
JJ DiGeronimo: I believe in this more and more.
35:17
JJ DiGeronimo: Like, serendipitous.
35:19
JJ DiGeronimo: moments happen all the time because I'm in the present moment.
35:21
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm really particular about like my energy and what I work on.
35:25
JJ DiGeronimo: And I think that is a magical story.
35:28
Carmen Hecox: I'm like, wow, this book was really meant to be.
35:30
Carmen Hecox: And like I said as I was reading it I felt really connected with you, even though we follow each other on Instagram I'm like, oh my gosh it's like JJ and I are sitting here on the bed or on the couch or doctor appointments and just thumbing through this book and she's telling me a lesson, and then she's asking me questions because your questions asked me to, or this is the way I perceived it, that the questions were making me dig deep.
35:57
Carmen Hecox: Go deep.
35:58
Carmen Hecox: Don't ask those surface questions.
36:00
Carmen Hecox: Go deep.
36:01
Carmen Hecox: What are your answers to these questions?
36:04
Carmen Hecox: And so I told my husband, I said, this is a slower read than most of my books that I read because there was a lot of dig deep moments.
36:13
Carmen Hecox: And I was able to learn more about myself because it gave me time to pause and answer the question, not skip it, answer the question.
36:24
Carmen Hecox: And I, yeah, and I learned, more about myself than I thought I had known about myself.
36:31
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm going to take you with me.
36:33
JJ DiGeronimo: That's amazing because when you're writing, you just, as you know, when you're writing, you just are hoping that people get to a certain chapter or a certain lesson.
36:42
JJ DiGeronimo: And I feel like my whole goal and just to be transparent for anybody who does astrology, my son is in my eighth house, which is heavy, deep things.
36:51
JJ DiGeronimo: Like I am not a surface talker, obviously, but I wanted to create something that would help other people shift too.
36:58
JJ DiGeronimo: And it's been quite amazing.
37:01
JJ DiGeronimo: Like people have left their jobs and changed things.
37:03
JJ DiGeronimo: People have gotten that certification.
37:05
JJ DiGeronimo: People have become yoga teachers after reading this book, because I think whatever was holding them back, they kind of, the energy helps them push through it to just lean in, to say, let me just see, let me just try this.
37:17
JJ DiGeronimo: Oh my gosh, that's a crazy story.
37:18
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm telling myself I can work around it.
37:20
Carmen Hecox: It's also inspired me to, I don't care what other people think.
37:23
Carmen Hecox: And another thing, if it scares me, I'm on the right track.
37:27
Carmen Hecox: Because I think that we learn more from leaning in and being scared and challenging ourselves.
37:35
JJ DiGeronimo: We definitely do.
37:36
JJ DiGeronimo: And if you're probably getting messages like I've gotten, you like the universe is not going to misguide us if we really create the space to listen and then just lean into it.
37:47
JJ DiGeronimo: That's really What we're being asked to do.
37:50
JJ DiGeronimo: And once we lean in or even ask for help or put a little sign up, like I want this, or this is going to help me on my journey, like things appear.
38:00
Carmen Hecox: JJ, where can people learn more about you?
38:03
JJ DiGeronimo: Well, it's easy.
38:04
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm on most social platforms as JJ DeGeronimo.
38:07
JJ DiGeronimo: And, um, I think it's funny, like you can't just put"Seeking" in Google cause you'll end up on a dating site, but if you put"Seeking" 74 and even the initials JJ, you'll find it.
38:18
Carmen Hecox: And, what are you currently working on?
38:21
JJ DiGeronimo: Oh, my goodness.
38:22
JJ DiGeronimo: So, two things, two big things.
38:24
JJ DiGeronimo: So, the universe has brought me this amazing place on Lake Erie that I feel I've had a lot of energy practitioners come there.
38:32
JJ DiGeronimo: It's a natural healing place.
38:34
JJ DiGeronimo: It has an amazing vortex.
38:35
JJ DiGeronimo: So, I'm working on kind of how to activate that to be a global destination for people that are really looking to ground and get into their next level of work.
38:45
JJ DiGeronimo: So that's super exciting.
38:47
JJ DiGeronimo: And the 2nd thing I'm doing is I'm creating a program to get more women published and noticed because it's hard to get published and.
38:55
JJ DiGeronimo: There's not a lot of community around it.
38:57
JJ DiGeronimo: It can be a lonely process.
38:58
JJ DiGeronimo: And so, I'm working on a program to bring more women authors together so we can help each other.
39:03
Carmen Hecox: That sounds amazing well, thank you so much for the work you do.
39:06
Carmen Hecox: Thank you so much for helping inspire, helping motivate, helping women see the potential that they have I feel like your book is saying, I believe in you or even your platform saying, I believe in you.
39:22
Carmen Hecox: Now it's your turn to believe in you.
39:25
Carmen Hecox: And so, JJ, thank you so much for doing that.
39:30
JJ DiGeronimo: You have made my day, my week.
39:33
JJ DiGeronimo: I am so honored to join you.
39:35
JJ DiGeronimo: I'm so honored you take the time and I really am inspired and look forward to seeing how things unfold for you, Carmen.
39:41
Carmen Hecox: Thank you so much.
39:42
Carmen Hecox: I look forward to having you back on the show.
39:46
JJ DiGeronimo: Very good I can't wait.
39:48
Carmen Hecox: As we wrap up today's enlightening conversation with JJ DiGeronimo, let's take a moment to reflect on the powerful insights she shared.
39:57
Carmen Hecox: Embracing our fears, taking risks even when we feel we're unprepared, and the profound importance of quieting our minds in the midst of chaos of life.
40:08
Carmen Hecox: It's a reminder that in the stillness we can truly tune into our unique frequencies and it's through daily mindfulness practice that we can maintain that connection.
40:20
Carmen Hecox: For those questioning your path, wondering, what is this all for?
40:25
Carmen Hecox: Or pondering, now what?
40:28
Carmen Hecox: Or even asking, is there more to life?
40:31
Carmen Hecox: JJ's book, Seeking, is your compass.
40:34
Carmen Hecox: It's designed to guide you through this journey of self discovery, helping you find answers and align your life's purpose.
40:43
Carmen Hecox: And now as always, you can find JJs information and today's transcript at createthebestme.com/ep044.
40:56
Carmen Hecox: If today's discussion struck a chord with you, I urge you to subscribe to stay in the loop.
41:02
Carmen Hecox: Join me next week, or should I say next year as we usher in 2024 with a deep dive into The Topic of Aging.
41:12
Carmen Hecox: Trust me, it's an episode you won't want to miss.
41:15
Carmen Hecox: Until then, keep dreaming big, take care of yourself and remember you are beautiful, strong and capable of creating the best version of yourself.
41:28
Carmen Hecox: Thank you for watching.
41:30
Carmen Hecox: Catch you next week.
41:31
Carmen Hecox: Happy new year and bye for now.