Transcript

Smoke break · An ASMR Practice

0:01
Speaker 1: You're right i have stepped out for to take a
0:05
Speaker 1: smoke this was gifted to me in a kind of
0:10
Speaker 1: way i found it it's a cigarillo i asked the
0:17
Speaker 1: universe a while back for a cigarillo oh boy oh
0:21
Speaker 1: boy all right they gave it to me florida style
0:25
Speaker 1: they fucking this is just bullshit but i don't even
0:29
Speaker 1: fucking care at this point It's Florida style. There's no
0:34
Speaker 1: goddamn filter. The filter fell off. The filter literally fell off.
0:42
Speaker 1: I don't really see how the filter is going to
0:43
Speaker 1: help me anyways. This was gifted to me in a
0:53
Speaker 1: very indirectly way. I've been... Chilling with my family here
1:05
Speaker 1: in Louisiana. And, uh... First, we were watching Game of Thrones. Which,
1:17
Speaker 1: mind you, I know nothing about Game of Thrones. I've
1:19
Speaker 1: seen the last episode. I've seen the very last episode.
1:29
Speaker 1: With a bunch of very... Handsome, very athletic kind of
1:37
Speaker 1: guys from Williams College. All right, I was sort of
1:42
Speaker 1: kind of not really seeing one of them. And, you know,
1:53
Speaker 1: I was just trying to link up with him. I
1:56
Speaker 1: was just trying to, like, hang out with just him.
1:58
Speaker 1: And I get there, and he's like, He's like, I
2:01
Speaker 1: want to hang out with you. We got to go
2:03
Speaker 1: hang out with the boys first. He's like, I promised them.
2:06
Speaker 1: He's like, I made a commitment. We got to go
2:08
Speaker 1: hang out with the boys. Which, mind you, hanging out
2:13
Speaker 1: with the boys consisted of just, like, smoking out of
2:17
Speaker 1: the bong and, like, or the hookah, whatever you want
2:22
Speaker 1: to call it. We were just, like, ripping some kind
2:25
Speaker 1: of water vessel open. And watching the fucking Game of Thrones.
2:34
Speaker 1: And it was the last episode. And my understanding is.
2:39
Speaker 1: It was like the first time. Any of them were
2:41
Speaker 1: seeing it. And it was the first time. I was
2:44
Speaker 1: seeing the whole series. And I was seeing the last episode.
2:47
Speaker 1: And I was not even paying attention. I'm going to
2:49
Speaker 1: be honest. I felt like fucking. What's that fucking Taylor
2:52
Speaker 1: Swift song? Okay. So high school. So high school. I
3:07
Speaker 1: feel so high school. Something about getting fingered or something
3:15
Speaker 1: while the freaking boys are watching GTA or something. Tell
3:24
Speaker 1: your friends play Grand Theft Auto 5. And all the
3:28
Speaker 1: haters were like, this song is stupid. I was like,
3:30
Speaker 1: I've lived this song. Except instead of GTA, it was fucking...
3:34
Speaker 1: It was fucking the goddamn... What the fuck? I can't even...
3:39
Speaker 1: I can't even think of it. It doesn't even fucking matter. Fucking... Goddamn.
3:52
Speaker 1: Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones is like Bridgerton for boys.
4:01
Speaker 1: Game of Thrones is, like, if Bridgerton was, like, extremely
4:05
Speaker 1: whitewashed and fucking incestuous. Bridgerton did that shit right. They
4:11
Speaker 1: did that shit like Hamilton. They said, bring the people
4:13
Speaker 1: of color in. Bring the people of color in. They said, diversity, equity,
4:17
Speaker 1: and inclusion. Let's go, guys. That's what they said. Okay,
4:24
Speaker 1: I'm putting this cigarillo down. Because I'm getting a little buzz.
4:29
Speaker 1: Holy shit. Okay, so I also got some arnica and
4:32
Speaker 1: some calendula. My ankle's really throbbing. This was my excuse
4:36
Speaker 1: to step out. They're watching a medical anxiety show right now,
4:41
Speaker 1: and it's making me kind of scared. So I got
4:45
Speaker 1: my arnica and my calendula. It's from Montreal. I got
4:48
Speaker 1: this shit at the farmer's market, so you know it's good.
4:50
Speaker 1: If I could fucking see in the dark, I would
4:55
Speaker 1: try to read it to you. It's in French, but
4:57
Speaker 1: I can't read in the dark. that's the arnica the
5:03
Speaker 1: arnica is a little more moist we're gonna just fucking
5:06
Speaker 1: double rub this shit and then I'm gonna go in
5:09
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna ice it I'm icing it and elevating
5:13
Speaker 1: it and if I had the means to compress it
5:15
Speaker 1: I would but I don't have the means with me
5:18
Speaker 1: and they're watching medical anxiety shows my ankle my dance
5:25
Speaker 1: teacher is speaking to me right now she's saying girl
5:27
Speaker 1: your ankles are hurting because you're doing too much And
5:31
Speaker 1: I don't even have a job. This is what my
5:33
Speaker 1: dance teacher said. She was like, why do your ankles hurt?
5:36
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I don't know. I
5:38
Speaker 1: think they just hurt every time it's like finals. Every
5:42
Speaker 1: time I'm doing finals, I just sprain my fucking ankle.
5:45
Speaker 1: And she was like, well, don't you think that's a pattern?
5:47
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, girl, I think it is.
5:49
Speaker 1: I think I get really stressed out. And then I
5:54
Speaker 1: just be tripping and shit. Like, literally tripping. Like, I'd
5:59
Speaker 1: just be, like, falling over and shit. Oh, God, my calves.
6:08
Speaker 1: And see, then a massage therapist told me, she was like,
6:11
Speaker 1: you know, the calves are really connected to your heart.
6:16
Speaker 1: Which makes a lot of sense because, like, genetically speaking,
6:19
Speaker 1: my partner at home comes from a lineage who has, like,
6:25
Speaker 1: heart issues. And when I've given him massages in the past,
6:32
Speaker 1: he doesn't want me to touch his calves. His calves
6:34
Speaker 1: are extremely sensitive. And I was telling my massage therapist
6:38
Speaker 1: about this. I was like, he won't let me touch
6:41
Speaker 1: his calves. And she was like, well, if his calves hurt,
6:48
Speaker 1: he might have heart issues. And I was like, yeah, well,
6:50
Speaker 1: his whole family has freaking heart issues. My family has
6:54
Speaker 1: a different kind of heart issues. It actually might be
7:01
Speaker 1: the same kind. My family, my family, they don't, they don't, like,
7:07
Speaker 1: really seek, like, Eastern medical help. They seek, like, doctors,
7:15
Speaker 1: and they take, like, pills. And I think so does
7:19
Speaker 1: his family, probably. Me, I got a massage therapist, I
7:25
Speaker 1: got a freaking herb lady. And I got a dance
7:29
Speaker 1: teacher and they're speaking to me and they're saying, girl,
7:31
Speaker 1: you're doing too much. They're saying, girl, you're doing way
7:35
Speaker 1: too much and that's why your freaking ankle hurts. So
7:40
Speaker 1: hopefully I'm going to start doing less. But I just
7:44
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, they're trying to get me to
7:46
Speaker 1: watch TV. They're trying to get me to play video games.
7:48
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I just can't do this shit. I
7:51
Speaker 1: can't do this shit. I can't sit. and then I
7:54
Speaker 1: hear my old friend I hear my freaking friend of
7:57
Speaker 1: Bhutan speaking to me he's not my friend anymore he
8:01
Speaker 1: doesn't want to talk to me because I didn't want
8:02
Speaker 1: to fuck him he like wanted to fuck me so
8:11
Speaker 1: bad and I was like can we please just be
8:13
Speaker 1: friends I hear my friend of Bhutan saying why do
8:20
Speaker 1: you have so much energy girl you got way too
8:22
Speaker 1: much energy where did you get all this And I'm like,
8:28
Speaker 1: I don't know. I did confess to my best friend today.
8:32
Speaker 1: I was like, I did take four shots of espresso.
8:37
Speaker 1: I took two, and then I ate breakfast, and then
8:39
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck it, I want some more. Fuck it,
8:44
Speaker 1: give me some more. But that was so many hours ago.
8:47
Speaker 1: This cannot be what that's about. This is something else.
8:50
Speaker 1: I'm the fucking crow, dude. I'm the literal crow. I'm
8:52
Speaker 1: the literal crow. And that's why I had to step
8:56
Speaker 1: out to take a smoke, okay? I'm not going to lie,
9:02
Speaker 1: the cigarillo I was gifted is quite good. And like,
9:10
Speaker 1: I got these creams. I got these creams and they're
9:13
Speaker 1: not working good enough. I need some like menthol CBD,
9:16
Speaker 1: I think. Oh, this is what my girl, this is
9:20
Speaker 1: what my main massage girl, this is my, I was
9:22
Speaker 1: loyal to this girl for like eight years. I didn't
9:26
Speaker 1: go to any, I mean, okay, if she was busy,
9:29
Speaker 1: if she was like really busy, I went to Albany.
9:33
Speaker 1: I would drive an hour to Albany to get like
9:35
Speaker 1: some terrible massage from like some terrible last minute place.
9:42
Speaker 1: I remember one of the times I did that, this
9:45
Speaker 1: dude literally, he took a phone call in the I
9:51
Speaker 1: was like, this is not right. Why are you taking
9:53
Speaker 1: a phone call? And, like, don't get me wrong. He's still, like,
9:56
Speaker 1: kind of vaguely halfway, like, giving me a massage. But he's, like, taking...
10:00
Speaker 1: a phone call and he's like, I'm like, bruh. And
10:06
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong. This place was way cheaper than
10:09
Speaker 1: the place that I'm used to going. Like the place
10:11
Speaker 1: I went to, they were price maxing that shit. But
10:14
Speaker 1: let me tell you, they were not taking calls during
10:16
Speaker 1: my massage. they were playing good music they had a
10:23
Speaker 1: nice ambiance going they put she knew she knew my
10:28
Speaker 1: favorite smells she remembered she wrote that shit down she
10:33
Speaker 1: would put my favorite smells on and she would play
10:36
Speaker 1: some good ass music oh and these other people they
10:44
Speaker 1: were just it was last minute they were pretty cheap
10:47
Speaker 1: and like god I just needed care I'm not going
10:53
Speaker 1: to a regular doctor. Listen, I went to a regular
10:55
Speaker 1: doctor in Vermont and he was like, he was like,
10:58
Speaker 1: baby girl, just hit the inhaler before you're even having asthma.
11:03
Speaker 1: That's not how it works. That's not how albuterol works, bro.
11:06
Speaker 1: He literally made me like immune to albuterol. And then
11:11
Speaker 1: I'm having a panic attack. I'm having an anxiety asthma attack.
11:16
Speaker 1: And I'm hitting the albuterol and it's not fucking working
11:18
Speaker 1: because this dude fucking lied to me. This western fucking
11:21
Speaker 1: doctor lied to me. what the actual fuck he was
11:30
Speaker 1: like just take it preventatively no no never take that
11:34
Speaker 1: shit preventatively if a doctor if a western doctor ever
11:38
Speaker 1: tells you take it preventatively no and fuck I don't
11:44
Speaker 1: want to sound anti-vax I'm not anti-vax I don't give
11:48
Speaker 1: a fuck about vaccinations to be honest I take them
11:52
Speaker 1: because usually my job or my school requires it and
11:55
Speaker 1: I'm like whatever I just want to be in school Literally,
11:59
Speaker 1: whatever you say, I just want to be at school.
12:05
Speaker 1: I'm not anti-vax per se. I know some people that
12:10
Speaker 1: are anti-vax, and I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm somewhere
12:19
Speaker 1: in the middle. I didn't have a choice. I literally
12:22
Speaker 1: didn't have a choice, and I could have fought for
12:23
Speaker 1: my choice. Like, I could have, like, joined a church
12:26
Speaker 1: superficially to, like, earn my choice or whatever qualify for
12:33
Speaker 1: a choice but ultimately I was like whatever I just
12:35
Speaker 1: want to be in school now I'm like school is
12:39
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to be doing dude I
12:44
Speaker 1: just want my ankle to feel better god and I
12:48
Speaker 1: wish I had some freaking menthol CBD because this is
12:53
Speaker 1: what my massage therapist gave me I was having the
12:55
Speaker 1: worst day of my life I called like six other places.
13:00
Speaker 1: I was willing to drive. I was like, I'll go anywhere.
13:03
Speaker 1: I'll go to Albany. I'll go to Williamstown. I'll go anywhere.
13:06
Speaker 1: I was like, will anybody take me? They were all like, no, no, no.
13:12
Speaker 1: I called this place and she's like, I don't normally
13:14
Speaker 1: schedule for this day, but I'll take you. She's like,
13:17
Speaker 1: I can tell you're in pain. I'll take you. It
13:19
Speaker 1: was right down the freaking street. I gotta hit her up.
13:30
Speaker 1: It's funny, her name is like the same name as
13:32
Speaker 1: like my best friend's mom. But just you add a
13:35
Speaker 1: little bit to the end. And she took care of
13:41
Speaker 1: me for eight years and I was loyal to her
13:43
Speaker 1: for eight years. I don't know how you say year
13:51
Speaker 1: in Spanish. How do you say in fucking German? It
13:58
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Nine. 9 minus 1. I don't know how
14:03
Speaker 1: you say 1. It doesn't matter. Also, that might not
14:09
Speaker 1: be how you say 9. That's how you say no. 1, 2, 3. Yes,
14:16
Speaker 1: I don't know German numbers. I know German alphabet. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. 4. 5. Sit. Whatcha? Nine.
14:33
Speaker 1: Doesn't fucking matter. God, they're watching medical anxiety. It's giving
14:40
Speaker 1: me anxiety through the window. I don't really have medical anxiety.
14:48
Speaker 1: I mean, I'd be smoking fucking tobacco. And like, dude,
14:53
Speaker 1: I was begging. I was literally begging God earlier. I
14:55
Speaker 1: was like, smite me. Smite me. Smite me. and then
14:59
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, maybe he doesn't want to smite me,
15:01
Speaker 1: I was like, take me, take me, and God was like, no,
15:05
Speaker 1: baby girl, God said, God said, no, baby girl, you
15:10
Speaker 1: got shit to do, oh, take me, take me, smite me,
15:18
Speaker 1: I don't care, I was like, I'm gonna put my
15:21
Speaker 1: life at risk, he said, that's fine, girl, do it
15:27
Speaker 1: sounded like my English teacher baby I said okay I
15:33
Speaker 1: don't have a choice great it's like the hand needs
15:36
Speaker 1: to awesome so at dinner tonight we were we were
15:48
Speaker 1: eating tacos okay I taught my friend, I taught my
15:52
Speaker 1: friend about huevos rancheros, okay? Because this is what I
15:56
Speaker 1: had for dinner last night, kind of, not really. I
16:00
Speaker 1: called it huevos rancheros, but I didn't have any beans.
16:04
Speaker 1: There were probably beans in the house, but I just
16:06
Speaker 1: was like, fuck it. Everything but the beans. I was like,
16:11
Speaker 1: I don't even need beans. Ugh. My ankle's going to
16:17
Speaker 1: feel so better soon. I just know it. I think
16:20
Speaker 1: I need to massage my calf. I think that's what
16:21
Speaker 1: it is. You know, okay, so my most recent massage
16:25
Speaker 1: therapist was telling me that the calves and the heart
16:27
Speaker 1: were related. And before that, my other massage therapist, which
16:32
Speaker 1: is my best friend's mom's name, but you add a
16:36
Speaker 1: little bit. She gave love to my calves, dude, in
16:41
Speaker 1: a big way. Cause my calves are not super sensitive.
16:47
Speaker 1: Like I don't think my heart is super sensitive. Like
16:50
Speaker 1: you can brutalize my calves. And this is what my
16:57
Speaker 1: dance teacher said as well. Cause my massage therapist at
17:01
Speaker 1: the time was brutalizing my calves. And my dance teacher
17:04
Speaker 1: was like, you gotta massage your calves girl. There's a
17:07
Speaker 1: bunch of lymph nodes in there. Like, and it's gonna,
17:09
Speaker 1: it's gonna help. So I'm massaging my calves now. Let
17:16
Speaker 1: me get some goddamn calendula on this shit because the
17:18
Speaker 1: arnica is just getting fucking sticky. God. So we're gonna
17:23
Speaker 1: take the Vaseline calendula and try it again. Because the
17:29
Speaker 1: freaking arnica is just getting way too sticky. Yeah, the
17:34
Speaker 1: calendula feels good. That feels real good. It's just like Vaseline.
17:38
Speaker 1: It's literally just like Vaseline infused with calendula. I got
17:42
Speaker 1: it in Montreal. At the freaking farmer's market. I was just.
17:49
Speaker 1: I was having. At that time I was having like.
17:53
Speaker 1: Super dry skin on my. Hands. Because this is just
17:59
Speaker 1: what happens. My hands get kind of chapped. And I
18:02
Speaker 1: was just like I need calendula for this. I need
18:05
Speaker 1: Vaseline and I need calendula. And then I went to
18:07
Speaker 1: the farmer's market. And I found exactly that. I was
18:09
Speaker 1: like thank God. You know I can barely read in
18:12
Speaker 1: French but. You know calendula in French is like the
18:15
Speaker 1: same as English. So I got some of that. And
18:22
Speaker 1: I've had this with me for years. And it's like
18:25
Speaker 1: a salve. That's the good thing about a salve is
18:28
Speaker 1: it lasts quite a long time. Okay so we're rubbing
18:34
Speaker 1: the calf. It actually feels really good. Might be what
18:38
Speaker 1: I need. I need a massage therapist bad. I am
18:46
Speaker 1: the massage therapist. I'm the fucking... God. How many roles
18:51
Speaker 1: do I play for myself? The independent woman is just...
18:56
Speaker 1: This is too much. This is not how women are
18:59
Speaker 1: supposed to be behaving. And I almost finished my goddamn cigarillo.
19:09
Speaker 1: It's freaking berry flavored. Which is funny because when I
19:12
Speaker 1: went to the store with my partner... I died because
19:17
Speaker 1: they had like, what was it? I think it was
19:19
Speaker 1: like Captain Crunch. And I was like about to piss
19:23
Speaker 1: myself in the Walmart aisle. Because they had Captain Crunch
19:27
Speaker 1: and it said, oops, all berries. It was some kind
19:31
Speaker 1: of cereal. It said, oops, all berries. It was like
19:34
Speaker 1: Lucky Charms, but with just the charms. But I think
19:38
Speaker 1: it was Captain Crunch. But instead of the white ones,
19:42
Speaker 1: it was all the berries. And I was like pissing myself.
19:47
Speaker 1: I was actually like genuinely like crying. my legs and
19:51
Speaker 1: like pissing myself. I was like, that's so funny. I
19:56
Speaker 1: was like, they're speaking to me. I'm here at the
19:59
Speaker 1: Walmart and they're speaking to me. Oops, all berries. Okay,
20:07
Speaker 1: I actually feel better. This massage has done me really good.
20:11
Speaker 1: And see, this reminds me of a time I got
20:14
Speaker 1: ghosted on a dating app. Because I told this guy,
20:20
Speaker 1: he asked me what I was doing, and I told
20:21
Speaker 1: him honestly. I was like, I'm massaging myself. I was like,
20:28
Speaker 1: I got my body oil here, and I'm just fucking
20:30
Speaker 1: rubbing myself down, dude. Because I'm fucking stressed. I'm stressed.
20:38
Speaker 1: I was doing self-care and then he fucking goes to me.
20:41
Speaker 1: He blocked me. Instantly. And I was like, alright. Dude
20:46
Speaker 1: doesn't like self-care. Of course he doesn't. Dudes don't want
20:54
Speaker 1: you to care for yourself. They want to care for
20:55
Speaker 1: you until you get safe. And then they want to
20:58
Speaker 1: fucking just leave you. They want to abandon you when
21:01
Speaker 1: you need them most. This is what they do. They
21:07
Speaker 1: want you to need them. So that when they leave,
21:11
Speaker 1: it hurts. Thing is, is I don't want any dude
21:15
Speaker 1: to need me. And somehow, when I try to leave,
21:18
Speaker 1: it seems to hurt them. What the fuck? And then
21:25
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm like, oh,
21:27
Speaker 1: fucking do it, bitch. I don't give a shit. I
21:31
Speaker 1: learned some shit just now. We were watching Game of
21:35
Speaker 1: Thrones and something came up and I asked my friend.
21:38
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to use your phone. I
21:39
Speaker 1: need to Google something. Because my phone was charging. God,
21:44
Speaker 1: it's still, it's not even halfway charged. This shit is
21:46
Speaker 1: so stupid. God. And I learned some shit. I learned
22:00
Speaker 1: some shit real good about Scottish... You know, my namesake,
22:03
Speaker 1: my middle namesake is Scottish. My middle namesake is Scottish.
22:16
Speaker 1: My sister's middle namesake is Irish. My mom didn't even
22:21
Speaker 1: know where we were from. She said, we're white, don't
22:25
Speaker 1: worry about it. I looked that shit up. I said,
22:29
Speaker 1: it's the same sound. Why is it different spellings? And
22:34
Speaker 1: I learned Irish and Scottish are different. It's the same sound,
22:37
Speaker 1: but it's different spellings. I just learned some shit about
22:40
Speaker 1: Scottish culture, dude. I don't know if it's good or bad.
22:46
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to review my notes in the morning.
22:49
Speaker 1: Because I was like, manically taking notes. I'm like, they're
22:52
Speaker 1: making me dinner and... ladies making me dinner gentlemen is
22:57
Speaker 1: watching Game of Thrones and I was manically taking notes
23:02
Speaker 1: like fucking Alexander Hamilton bro and I was like I
23:06
Speaker 1: was piecing the universe together now I'm smoking an all
23:12
Speaker 1: berry cigarillo tasted good in the beginning it's getting worse
23:17
Speaker 1: as it goes And I'm just fucking massaging my calves
23:26
Speaker 1: because I don't know what else to do. This is
23:27
Speaker 1: what my dance teacher told me to do. And it
23:30
Speaker 1: does feel really good. It really does feel really good.
23:35
Speaker 1: And I think my ankle's going to be better in
23:36
Speaker 1: the morning. I have full faith that my ankle's going
23:38
Speaker 1: to be better in the morning because I'm doing self-care,
23:41
Speaker 1: aren't I? Holy shit. I'm literally trying here. This is
23:48
Speaker 1: what they want from me. They want me to do
23:50
Speaker 1: it myself. Jeez Louise. Jeez Louise. they said capitalism makes
23:55
Speaker 1: that shit bro oh they said you gotta save all
24:00
Speaker 1: the money save all your money you gotta fucking retire
24:04
Speaker 1: cause nobody's coming to take care for you and that's
24:10
Speaker 1: true cause I'm not trying to reproduce bro I'm hoping
24:15
Speaker 1: I can like befriend someone younger maybe they'll care for
24:19
Speaker 1: me or maybe I'll just die young bro can I
24:22
Speaker 1: just die young Like Carl Jung, bro. Can I fucking
24:26
Speaker 1: die young? I actually don't know when Carl Jung died.
24:32
Speaker 1: My understanding is he might have been kind of old.
24:34
Speaker 1: But he probably had a lover. He was all about dreams.
24:38
Speaker 1: So he probably had a lover. I just... God, I
24:45
Speaker 1: hope it's sudden. I keep asking God. I'm like, smile
24:48
Speaker 1: at me. Smile at me. Please. Please. please god like
24:54
Speaker 1: keeps protecting me i'm like bro bro what the hell
25:03
Speaker 1: at this point i mean like sometimes i'm glad i'm
25:08
Speaker 1: protected because i don't want to die like a brutal
25:10
Speaker 1: terrible death i want to die like a quick easy
25:12
Speaker 1: death And God keeps saying, no, baby girl, you're living.
25:24
Speaker 1: You're living. I'm like, sheesh, Loish. What do I have
25:28
Speaker 1: to do? Who do I have to suck off, okay?
25:34
Speaker 1: Whatever you need, like, I'm just trying to freaking go on. I'm, like,
25:41
Speaker 1: trying to be Albert Camus in this bitch. And this
25:44
Speaker 1: guy is like, no, girl. You gotta keep living. You
25:47
Speaker 1: gotta get a job. You gotta get a job. You
25:51
Speaker 1: can help people. I'm like, I don't, I'm done. I've
25:54
Speaker 1: helped enough people, bro. I'm done. He won't let me.
26:02
Speaker 1: He literally won't let me. God's on my side in
26:05
Speaker 1: the worst way. I'm fucking mad. And he likes it
26:11
Speaker 1: when I'm mad. That's the problem. He said, baby girl,
26:17
Speaker 1: anger is your fuel. Anger is your literal fuel. And
26:22
Speaker 1: I'm like, can I run out of gas yet? Can
26:25
Speaker 1: I literally run out of gas? And the thing is,
26:29
Speaker 1: if I run out of gas, some motherfucker's gonna come
26:31
Speaker 1: help me. And I'm like, bro. Bro, quit. What the hell?
26:39
Speaker 1: You are pissing me off with this shit. Oh. I'm
26:44
Speaker 1: not gonna kill myself because fuck y'all. Fuck my haters.
26:49
Speaker 1: I'm not going to kill myself. I just keep asking God.
26:52
Speaker 1: I'm like, smite me. Smite me, bro. Love is non-intervention.
26:58
Speaker 1: That's what God said. That's what my girl Simone Vea said.
27:02
Speaker 1: She said, love is non-intervention. That's my freaking God right there. Fuck.
27:06
Speaker 1: I chose the wrong goddamn God. I should have chose
27:10
Speaker 1: Albert Camus. My understanding is they might have been lovers.
27:13
Speaker 1: You know what Albert Camus said about my girl Simone?
27:15
Speaker 1: He said, She was the last kindred spirit of our time.
27:19
Speaker 1: That's what he said about her. Someone said something similar
27:23
Speaker 1: on my dad's obituary page. He said he was a
27:26
Speaker 1: kindred spirit. Bro, let me go. If you love me,
27:32
Speaker 1: let me go. They're not gonna. They're literally not gonna.
27:36
Speaker 1: They're obsessed with me. They're obsessed with me. I'm sick
27:44
Speaker 1: of it. Let me go. Will anybody let me go? Gosh.
27:50
Speaker 1: All right, they shut the windows. They shut the windows.
28:08
Speaker 1: They shut the windows on me. Love is intervention. They're saying,
28:14
Speaker 1: don't smoke the end of this. the end is the
28:23
Speaker 1: worst part he's probably trying to protect the AC let's
28:37
Speaker 1: be so real he's saying why am I paying for
28:40
Speaker 1: AC and these bitches are opening the windows whatever Or
28:48
Speaker 1: he's giving me privacy. Some dudes seem to think that
28:52
Speaker 1: privacy is love or something. They don't know shit about
28:55
Speaker 1: the real world. They literally don't even know shit about
28:58
Speaker 1: the real world. Anyways, bye.