Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Design a Week You Don´t Have to Run Away From

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Design a Week You Don´t Have to Run Away From · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:11
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to do fucking mind the
0:16
Speaker 1: podcast episode of Today. My name's and Alexis Fernandez almost
0:20
Speaker 1: couldn't say my own name, and welcome to the episode
0:23
Speaker 1: of Today. So we are talking about how to design
0:25
Speaker 1: a week that you don't have to escape from. Basically,
0:30
Speaker 1: it's kind of how to design a life that you
0:33
Speaker 1: don't have to escape from. This is targeted for the
0:35
Speaker 1: people that are like always counting down for the weekend.
0:38
Speaker 1: They dread, They get the Sunday scaries on the Sunday
0:41
Speaker 1: afternoon into the night. They're dreading the start of the week.
0:44
Speaker 1: They're those people that cannot wait to go away on
0:48
Speaker 1: holiday or vacation. They're just desperate to escape. And then
0:52
Speaker 1: when their holiday is coming to an end, they are like, oh,
0:56
Speaker 1: I can't enjoy the last couple of days because they're
0:58
Speaker 1: getting back into the How do you snap out of that?
1:00
Speaker 1: How do you stop counting down the days for something
1:03
Speaker 1: else and just really enjoying your life? Nothing wrong with
1:06
Speaker 1: looking forward to trips. It's actually one of the best
1:09
Speaker 1: markers for mental health is to have all these little
1:11
Speaker 1: things to look forward to, but instead of having these big,
1:14
Speaker 1: major things where everything in between is awful and you
1:17
Speaker 1: got this one good thing to look forward to. We're
1:19
Speaker 1: going to change it up and you're going to begin
1:22
Speaker 1: to create a week and a day to day life
1:26
Speaker 1: that is more enjoyable. So you've got less anxiety even
1:28
Speaker 1: when there's difficult things, even when you're up against challenges,
1:32
Speaker 1: even when not everything is going smoothly, because you can't
1:35
Speaker 1: wait to be like, well, when everything falls into place,
1:38
Speaker 1: then I'll be able to enjoy my life because there's
1:39
Speaker 1: always new things that crop up. So instead of having
1:42
Speaker 1: that mentality, we're trying to change it to a mentality
1:45
Speaker 1: of no matter what's going on, I should still be
1:48
Speaker 1: able to enjoy my life. Things are going to crop up,
1:50
Speaker 1: and my measure of enjoying my life shouldn't be based
1:53
Speaker 1: on things that are not out of my control. It
1:55
Speaker 1: should be based on things that are within my control.
1:58
Speaker 1: So that's what we're going to be talking about, going
2:00
Speaker 1: to be giving you specific things that you can be doing. Also,
2:02
Speaker 1: if you' watching the video of this, how cool are
2:04
Speaker 1: my Nike shoes? I went to this cool Nike event
2:06
Speaker 1: and these ones are like good for the mind because
2:08
Speaker 1: they've got these weird like bully bead things on them.
2:12
Speaker 1: Now recommendation. I actually am going to give my own
2:17
Speaker 1: do You Fucking Mind card Game recommendation. Randomly last week
2:20
Speaker 1: we had all these orders come through for the card game,
2:22
Speaker 1: and I don't know why. I don't know if I
2:23
Speaker 1: spoke about it on a podcast, if someone's randomly shared it,
2:26
Speaker 1: but I didn't see the tag. But we had all
2:28
Speaker 1: these random orders. So if you haven't realized or heard off,
2:32
Speaker 1: or because I haven't spoken about it in so long,
2:33
Speaker 1: for years, I've had the do Fucking Mind card game,
2:36
Speaker 1: and it is a get to know other people. It
2:38
Speaker 1: could be a best friend or someone in your family,
2:41
Speaker 1: or your partner, get them, get to know them better.
2:43
Speaker 1: It can also be to get to know yourself better.
2:46
Speaker 1: There's a self deck and a partner deck, so you
2:48
Speaker 1: can literally just use this card on your owner's journal
2:51
Speaker 1: prompts just to go through it to ask yourself deeper questions.
2:54
Speaker 1: Or you can do it in a group of friends
2:56
Speaker 1: where you share personal things about yourself as well. It's
2:59
Speaker 1: very cool. If I may say so myself, everyone loves it.
3:03
Speaker 1: If I may say to myself and yes, so, just
3:06
Speaker 1: buy the fucking card game on Dear wifepanpod dot com
3:10
Speaker 1: now life update. This is major bittersweet life update. But
3:15
Speaker 1: Shania is leaving. Do your fucking mind. So Shania, who's
3:19
Speaker 1: my assistant slash social media girl slash right hand woman,
3:24
Speaker 1: is spreading her wings and moving on to a full
3:28
Speaker 1: time job because she works two days a week for
3:29
Speaker 1: me and she works three days a week at her
3:31
Speaker 1: other job. But she's going into still doing social media,
3:34
Speaker 1: but also going into talent management side of things, so
3:37
Speaker 1: she's living. I cried, I did cry. We cried together.
3:42
Speaker 1: But I have to like take a page out of
3:44
Speaker 1: my own book and always talk about nothing is permanent.
3:47
Speaker 1: Things always do come to an end and always do
3:49
Speaker 1: wrap up, so you've got to look at the beauty
3:51
Speaker 1: of it and how good it was. She works. She's
3:54
Speaker 1: worked me for three fucking years, which is crazy, and
3:59
Speaker 1: in that time we have done so much. We like
4:02
Speaker 1: moved officers. She has basically watched Tabib grow. She's watched
4:07
Speaker 1: me full pregnant and birth the children and now like
4:10
Speaker 1: the twins literally waived at her. She's the first person
4:12
Speaker 1: that they waved by to so manage Milestone's been a huge. Obviously,
4:16
Speaker 1: we're still going to hang out and be friends and whatever,
4:18
Speaker 1: but yeah, very sad that she's leaving, but the announcement
4:21
Speaker 1: is that this has opened up a job slots for anyone.
4:26
Speaker 1: The role is based in Sydney, but anyone looking to
4:28
Speaker 1: do two days a week working for me. I'm going
4:32
Speaker 1: to quickly explain what the job entails. You have to
4:35
Speaker 1: be good at social media and video editing. You have
4:37
Speaker 1: to force me to do tiktoks and other social things,
4:40
Speaker 1: good at putting together carossels, good at kind of summarizing
4:43
Speaker 1: what my episode's about and doing kind of social content
4:45
Speaker 1: for it. So the social side of things is one
4:47
Speaker 1: of the things. But then there's the general assistant kind
4:50
Speaker 1: of PA role, which is customer service stuff, stuff with merchandise,
4:55
Speaker 1: also helping create new merch ideas and orders and things
4:58
Speaker 1: like that. We also you'll be doing stuff with the book,
5:01
Speaker 1: going to book signings, doing like content for the books,
5:04
Speaker 1: any new books that are coming out. Ifever I have,
5:06
Speaker 1: like an interview, you probably come with me. We do
5:08
Speaker 1: like the morning show, this, that, like whatever we're doing.
5:11
Speaker 1: As far as like pr and promotion, you probably come
5:13
Speaker 1: with me for those things. Getting content. Sometimes events, any
5:17
Speaker 1: events that I'm hosting, you're going to be at that event.
5:20
Speaker 1: You are you work with me two days a week,
5:24
Speaker 1: but there is that flexibility here and there to do
5:26
Speaker 1: work from home days here and there. But you do
5:28
Speaker 1: need to be based in Sydney because there is a
5:30
Speaker 1: big portion of that job is actually like getting content
5:33
Speaker 1: and forcing me to take content. Being the organized version
5:37
Speaker 1: of me is crucial. You have to like dogs. You
5:40
Speaker 1: have to love Hubib specifically. You have to like eating
5:43
Speaker 1: sandwiches on a Friday, probably cross Section and Darlinghurst, or
5:48
Speaker 1: maybe we should go get I'm just talking to Shani
5:49
Speaker 1: right now. Maybe we should go get like Room ten
5:51
Speaker 1: and get like a fucking mushroom melt. Oh, so you
5:53
Speaker 1: must love a mushroom melt. You are allowed to be
5:56
Speaker 1: a vegetarian. Sanna's a vegetarian and we've gotten along very beautifully.
6:00
Speaker 1: What else, live show? The live show tours. So anytime
6:05
Speaker 1: I do a live show or a tour whatever, you're
6:07
Speaker 1: going to be working on that traveling with me for that.
6:10
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's a good time. It's a good time,
6:15
Speaker 1: and you just have to be chilled, laid back, relaxed.
6:20
Speaker 1: You can't there's certain traits in the personality that you
6:22
Speaker 1: can't teach, and that's some things you can't teach. You
6:25
Speaker 1: don't have to be so polished in the other things,
6:27
Speaker 1: because that can like I can mold you to things
6:30
Speaker 1: specific to my brand and then you just learn about
6:33
Speaker 1: the brand as you go. But when it comes to
6:35
Speaker 1: your actual energy and personality, you cannot be highly strong.
6:39
Speaker 1: I love my highly strung people, but not if I
6:42
Speaker 1: have to work with them, So cannot be highly strung.
6:44
Speaker 1: Love you so much. Do not apply if you're fucking
6:47
Speaker 1: highly strong. Relaxed vibes. Relaxed vibes, and you've got to
6:51
Speaker 1: love a cocktail every once in a while after work,
6:54
Speaker 1: and if you're sober, you can still apply for the job.
6:56
Speaker 1: I will definitely you can have a mocktail anyway. That
7:00
Speaker 1: is the big announcement for today's episode. So if you
7:03
Speaker 1: are Sydney based, please send your CV to info at
7:07
Speaker 1: dyfempod dot com. You can send in a video of
7:11
Speaker 1: you chatting to the camera. You can be as creative
7:14
Speaker 1: as you want. I'm not like in a crazy rush
7:16
Speaker 1: to hire Chanize here for another like four weeks, and
7:19
Speaker 1: if there's like a wash out period in between, that says, well,
7:22
Speaker 1: just got to find the right fit. Anyway. Now let's
7:26
Speaker 1: get into the podcast episode of Today Sense Sense, we
7:39
Speaker 1: are taught there's no brain factor. I was gonna do
7:41
Speaker 1: a brain factor, but then whatever, we're basically, like I
7:45
Speaker 1: said earlier, we're talking about this idea of that feeling
7:49
Speaker 1: of dread that comes up. Let's use Sunday afternoon as
7:53
Speaker 1: an example. The afternoon is hitting and there's this encroaching
7:57
Speaker 1: feeling of severe anxiety that's closing in on you, and
8:00
Speaker 1: you kind of know that it's because it's the end
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Speaker 1: of the week, but you almost can't pinpoint exactly why
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Speaker 1: you feel this way, other than like, oh, it's Monday, tomorrow,
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Speaker 1: it's Monday, but you can't really pinpoint it's it's not
8:11
Speaker 1: a one off thing. It's not like, oh, well, I
8:13
Speaker 1: have a huge presentation that I've been working my ass
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Speaker 1: off I'm anxious about that. That would be because it's
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Speaker 1: a one off. But if you're feeling this every time
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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, it's just the start of the week,
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Speaker 1: fucking mundo, there's that if you're one of those people
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Speaker 1: that's always like hump day through half the wig and
8:27
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a struggle, and the moment it
8:30
Speaker 1: hits Friday, it feels like Friday Saturday time, it flies past,
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Speaker 1: and then you've got that anxiety on Sunday night. But
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Speaker 1: basically it's that overall kind of dread or anxiety regarding
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Speaker 1: a major portion off your week. Now, for some of us,
8:45
Speaker 1: this feeling is because we actually dread the work that
8:48
Speaker 1: we do. We don't like our jobs, or we don't
8:50
Speaker 1: like the stress that is attached to our jobs. For
8:53
Speaker 1: other people, they feel this feeling at the end of
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Speaker 1: the weekend because it's kind of the guilt that they
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Speaker 1: didn't make the most of their time off for their
9:00
Speaker 1: free time, and now that it's gone, it can never
9:02
Speaker 1: be recovered. And then they're like, I should have done this,
9:04
Speaker 1: I should have done that, I wasted my time, and
9:06
Speaker 1: now the week's done. So for a lot of people,
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Speaker 1: it's about time management. For some people, it's like this
9:12
Speaker 1: sadness because the weekend was so good and now it's ended,
9:16
Speaker 1: and now you're like, oh, now I've got to go
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Speaker 1: back to work. And maybe work isn't that terrible, but
9:20
Speaker 1: you find your day to day Monday to Friday just
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Speaker 1: really boring and not exciting, and so you're just really
9:26
Speaker 1: sad that the weekend is over. So there's all these
9:29
Speaker 1: things it could also be a reminder that it's like,
9:31
Speaker 1: now you've got to pick up the ball where you
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Speaker 1: left it off on Friday afternoon or before your holiday
9:35
Speaker 1: or whatever, and there's that massive to do list that
9:37
Speaker 1: you haven't even chipped away at, and there's more and
9:39
Speaker 1: more and more things piling up on your plate. So
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Speaker 1: I've got a few good, easy to apply, actionable steps
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Speaker 1: that can have you overcoming Sunday scaries, but it also
9:51
Speaker 1: has you overcoming like taking over control off not only
9:56
Speaker 1: your weekends and that Sunday evening or the last couple
9:58
Speaker 1: of days of your holiday or whatever that time represents
10:01
Speaker 1: where you are dreading going back to your everyday life.
10:04
Speaker 1: How to actually create a week that you are in
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Speaker 1: control over, a life that you like, because there's always
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Speaker 1: going to be pockets of things that aren't fabulous. We
10:13
Speaker 1: all have them. And if we're always thinking, well, I
10:15
Speaker 1: like my life when those things aren't there, then you're
10:17
Speaker 1: never going to like your life. You've got to like
10:19
Speaker 1: your life among these annoying things that are always going
10:22
Speaker 1: to crop up. So the first thing that you're going
10:24
Speaker 1: to do number one out of maybe ten, maybe eleven,
10:26
Speaker 1: I can't remember, But the first thing you're going to
10:28
Speaker 1: do is I want you to figure out exactly which
10:32
Speaker 1: dread or anxiety you possess. I've made a lovely list
10:37
Speaker 1: of different kinds of dreads other forms of dreads, but
10:40
Speaker 1: if you have a very specific form of dread or
10:42
Speaker 1: anxiety that you are acquainted with, please add it to
10:47
Speaker 1: the list by all means. So, the first one is
10:49
Speaker 1: the I hate my job feeling. This is Monday, means
10:54
Speaker 1: returning to a life that you absolutely do not like.
10:56
Speaker 1: You are living for Friday afternoon and living for the
10:59
Speaker 1: weekend or living for the holidays. So the only time
11:01
Speaker 1: you're really ever feeling like you're enjoying your life, not
11:04
Speaker 1: just in the way you experience it, but also in
11:05
Speaker 1: your language, is weekends and holidays, and that is it.
11:08
Speaker 1: So that's the I hate my job kind of dread
11:10
Speaker 1: or anxiety. The other one is the overwhelm, where you
11:13
Speaker 1: might like your job, and once you're working in the job,
11:16
Speaker 1: it's actually but the thought of returning back to work,
11:20
Speaker 1: or the thought of returning back to your normal life
11:22
Speaker 1: every day, day and day out, gives you severe anxiety
11:25
Speaker 1: because there is you're already cycling through all these appointments, deadlines, errands, responsibilities, emails.
11:31
Speaker 1: I've got to do all these things. I'm never keeping up.
11:33
Speaker 1: I've got to dropping the ball. There's too many balls,
11:36
Speaker 1: and yah blah blah blah blah lah, and you just
11:38
Speaker 1: never feel like you're in control. The other dread or
11:41
Speaker 1: anxiety is I've wasted my weekend. You had all these
11:45
Speaker 1: plans for your days off. Oh, the weekend, I'm gonna
11:47
Speaker 1: have breakfast with this person at lunch and this and
11:49
Speaker 1: that and h dah, And then the weekend obviously comes
11:52
Speaker 1: You're like, wow, I've really filled up my plan. I
11:53
Speaker 1: can't do all those things, so I'm maybe just gonna
11:55
Speaker 1: do this, And before you know it, the weekends come
11:57
Speaker 1: and gone, and you maybe did one out of the
11:59
Speaker 1: ten things that you thought, not that you could realistically
12:01
Speaker 1: do ten, but you only did one out of the
12:03
Speaker 1: things that you said you wanted to do. And then
12:05
Speaker 1: before you know it, it's six months into the year and
12:07
Speaker 1: not one weekend has gone like you would have liked
12:09
Speaker 1: to plan, because it feels like they just fly past,
12:11
Speaker 1: and it feels like you've accomplished nothing at all as
12:14
Speaker 1: far as socializational stuff you want to do with your
12:17
Speaker 1: quote unquote free time. The other one is the harsh contrast.
12:21
Speaker 1: So this is your weekend is so good, but your
12:24
Speaker 1: week is so mundane, and that harsh contrast is what
12:29
Speaker 1: you don't like. And it's not necessarily that you don't
12:31
Speaker 1: like your week, but it just represents how like the
12:34
Speaker 1: weekend reminds you of how like unsatisfied you are Monday
12:38
Speaker 1: to Friday. Then the other one is the guilt, the
12:41
Speaker 1: guilt filled Sunday or the guilt filled holiday. So this
12:46
Speaker 1: is where you think, oh, I should have cleaned, I
12:49
Speaker 1: should have exercised, I should have gone and seen that person,
12:52
Speaker 1: I should have done my life admin. I should have
12:56
Speaker 1: If you're gonna be if you're gonna feel guilty, and
12:58
Speaker 1: I've said this before, I'm going to say it again.
13:00
Speaker 1: If you are going to feel guilty, be guilty about
13:03
Speaker 1: something scandalous. Don't be guilty about something so boring. You're
13:07
Speaker 1: wasting my time. If you're gonna be guilty, come at
13:09
Speaker 1: me with something that's actually juicy and interesting. Otherwise, just
13:13
Speaker 1: stop boring yourself. It's boring. We're not getting being guilty
13:16
Speaker 1: about the shit. It's your weakened, relaxed. But I'm gonna
13:19
Speaker 1: talk about how we can tackle that a little bit better.
13:21
Speaker 1: So now that we've established exactly what it is, and
13:23
Speaker 1: it could be one of the things I said, it
13:25
Speaker 1: could be a couple of the things I said. But
13:26
Speaker 1: we want to pinpoint what is this dread specifically about
13:31
Speaker 1: the next thing we're gonna do is and this kind
13:33
Speaker 1: of ties in with it. Name it entertainment. Just telling yourself,
13:36
Speaker 1: I feel like shit isn't enough. I want what kind
13:39
Speaker 1: of shit are you feeling like? Let's get specific. Is
13:41
Speaker 1: it wholeshit? Do you feel like dog shit? Like? What
13:45
Speaker 1: kind of shit are you feeling like? And let's pinpoint
13:48
Speaker 1: why is it I'm anxious about the amount of work
13:51
Speaker 1: that is waiting for me, or I'm disappointed because of this,
13:54
Speaker 1: or I'm sad that this has ended, or I'm dreading
13:57
Speaker 1: interacting with my boss. I don't mind my job, but
14:00
Speaker 1: my boss makes me hate everything else about my day.
14:04
Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things that I've got
14:06
Speaker 1: to do. And if I was wasn't so overwhelmed, i'd
14:08
Speaker 1: probably actually like my job. I'm dissatisfied with my routine.
14:12
Speaker 1: I'm dissatisfied with my energy levels. So once you've identified
14:15
Speaker 1: what is actually bothering you, you can turn this like
14:19
Speaker 1: overall feeling, into a very specific problem that you can
14:22
Speaker 1: respond to and do something about. Number three, I want
14:26
Speaker 1: you to get everything that we're stressed about or worried
14:29
Speaker 1: about out of your head and put it down on paper.
14:32
Speaker 1: This includes to do lists like major life things that
14:34
Speaker 1: you have to do, and it includes ideally everything you
14:37
Speaker 1: would want to get done from in a full day,
14:40
Speaker 1: from the moment you wake up to the moment you
14:42
Speaker 1: go down. What are the key things that you would
14:43
Speaker 1: like to achieve every single day? So I'm not talking
14:46
Speaker 1: about stuff that you want to do maybe like once
14:48
Speaker 1: a week or twice a week. This is kind of
14:50
Speaker 1: the daily things you'd like to do, and it could
14:51
Speaker 1: be pretty mundane, but it just gives you an idea
14:53
Speaker 1: of actually how much is on your plate? So separate
14:56
Speaker 1: to work, what would I actually like to get done?
14:58
Speaker 1: Am I someone that actually wants to cook it night?
15:00
Speaker 1: Do I enjoy it? Do I prefer prepping? Do I
15:02
Speaker 1: want to make my bed when I wake up in
15:04
Speaker 1: the morning? Do I want to exercise daily or not?
15:06
Speaker 1: Do I want to do a language course or due
15:08
Speaker 1: lingo or listen to a particular podcast? Do I want
15:10
Speaker 1: to read? Do I want to be in bed by
15:12
Speaker 1: a certain time. Do I want to have my vitamins? Like?
15:14
Speaker 1: What is stuff that you think if I actually had
15:18
Speaker 1: a system in place that I could actually do all
15:20
Speaker 1: these things, I would probably feel a little bit more
15:22
Speaker 1: in control of my life and be a bit calmer.
15:24
Speaker 1: So this is what we're doing, a really efficient prop
15:26
Speaker 1: up kind of for like a brain dump. We are
15:29
Speaker 1: dumping all exactly that the little things you want to
15:32
Speaker 1: do every single day. Then we're going to write down
15:34
Speaker 1: the things that we'd like to do if it was once,
15:36
Speaker 1: twice or three times a week. So say someone that
15:38
Speaker 1: only wants to exercise or go to the gym twice
15:40
Speaker 1: a week, that you're writing that down. Then we're going
15:43
Speaker 1: to talk about all the things on the major to
15:46
Speaker 1: do this that might not all get done this week,
15:48
Speaker 1: but it's stuff that's this ongoing list in your head.
15:51
Speaker 1: This could be major appointments, check ups that you need
15:54
Speaker 1: to eventually get to. It could be organizing a party
15:57
Speaker 1: of child's birthday party. That's what I need to do
16:00
Speaker 1: this afternoon. It could be whatever the fuck, it's all
16:03
Speaker 1: of these big tasks. I've got to book my current
16:05
Speaker 1: for servicing. I have to fucking I've let my motorcycle
16:08
Speaker 1: run out of regio, which is so annoying. So now
16:12
Speaker 1: I've got to like get anyway. So that's what I
16:14
Speaker 1: have to put on my list. So it's all these things.
16:17
Speaker 1: Instead of going round around in your head. I can't
16:19
Speaker 1: forget that thing, I can't forget, We're going to do
16:20
Speaker 1: the most efficient and effective brain dump. Now. The science
16:25
Speaker 1: behind a really good brain dump is that when you
16:27
Speaker 1: offload all this stuff onto paper, you are offloading your
16:31
Speaker 1: working memory. Working memory shouldn't be overloaded with way too
16:37
Speaker 1: much stuff, because your working memory is also what helps
16:39
Speaker 1: you perform really well in that dates, what helps you
16:41
Speaker 1: have better conversations, It's what helps you be more interesting
16:45
Speaker 1: and be more interested. It's what helps you pay attention
16:48
Speaker 1: to your instincts. It's what helps you retrieve things as well.
16:51
Speaker 1: That's part of your working memory. If we're loading so
16:54
Speaker 1: much shit onto the working memory, like don't forget to
16:56
Speaker 1: do this, don't do that, forget like you gotta remember,
16:59
Speaker 1: then you are putting way too much on that working memory,
17:03
Speaker 1: and you are going to lag. You're going to find
17:05
Speaker 1: it harder to remember simple things, harder to be in
17:08
Speaker 1: touch in a conversation, harder to stay on task in
17:10
Speaker 1: your work because there's too many tabs open in your brain.
17:13
Speaker 1: So instead of having these tabs open, going to put
17:14
Speaker 1: it all down on paper. So writing it down, and
17:18
Speaker 1: there's studies behind this, writing it down not only freeze
17:22
Speaker 1: up the cognitive load that we talk about all the time,
17:24
Speaker 1: but it also frees up this working memory. You actually
17:27
Speaker 1: will feel a lot calmer, a lot less anxious because
17:30
Speaker 1: the stress of needing to hold onto all these things
17:32
Speaker 1: in the mind is reduced. But that it's there, you know,
17:36
Speaker 1: you can't forget, and because you're looking at it, it
17:38
Speaker 1: becomes easier to organize and compartmentalize. Instead of trying to
17:42
Speaker 1: just imagine it all in your head, you want to
17:45
Speaker 1: almost imagine it like an external hard drive. Able to
17:48
Speaker 1: put it in the external hard drive, you're able to
17:49
Speaker 1: look at all these things in folders and organize it
17:52
Speaker 1: all without it kind of being scattered all over the place.
17:54
Speaker 1: Now we're freeing up our conscious processing to other things.
17:58
Speaker 1: So while you might not have ticked off anything in
18:00
Speaker 1: your list, you've approached it in a way that at
18:02
Speaker 1: least you are reducing that kind of anxiety and you're
18:04
Speaker 1: able to look at everything that I have to do,
18:06
Speaker 1: and why is there overwhelm And what is the thing
18:08
Speaker 1: that's actually difficult or pissing me off? And what makes
18:11
Speaker 1: it so hard? Sometimes you think, well, my job is
18:14
Speaker 1: really hard, and no matter how many to do this,
18:15
Speaker 1: I'd right, my actual job is hard. And that might
18:17
Speaker 1: be the case. But maybe if you were to feel
18:19
Speaker 1: a lot more comfortable about everything outside of that nine
18:22
Speaker 1: to five, then you could feel like, I'm only going
18:25
Speaker 1: to be stressing about work when I'm there, because the
18:27
Speaker 1: rest of my day feels a lot calmer, a lot
18:30
Speaker 1: more organized, and it allows me to be more on
18:33
Speaker 1: when I'm working, and therefore I don't dread work so much.
18:35
Speaker 1: It's not that we can't do hard things. We're actually
18:37
Speaker 1: designed to always challenge ourselves and do difficult things. The
18:41
Speaker 1: brain thrives doing difficult things. That is what we're designed
18:44
Speaker 1: to do evolutionary. From an evolutionary standpoint, we've always been
18:48
Speaker 1: designed to do difficult things. It's just when we're there
18:50
Speaker 1: is overwhelming. There's too much on our plate that we
18:53
Speaker 1: then try and avoid it. So and overwhelmed doesn't necessarily
18:56
Speaker 1: come from hard things. It comes from too much unnecessary
18:59
Speaker 1: shit or just could be necessary. But maybe it's unorganized,
19:02
Speaker 1: maybe it's too chaotic, and that's where this overwhelm comes from.
19:06
Speaker 1: So if you are saying, oh, but my job is
19:08
Speaker 1: really difficult, you could get to a point where you
19:11
Speaker 1: really do enjoy the challenge. You really do enjoy that
19:14
Speaker 1: pressure cooker environment. I know many people that have such
19:18
Speaker 1: a high pressure job and they thrive in it because
19:21
Speaker 1: they've kind of organized their life in a way that
19:23
Speaker 1: they end up loving the high pressure environment that their
19:26
Speaker 1: job is in. So it's not like, oh, I've got
19:28
Speaker 1: to reduce stress in every single area of my life.
19:29
Speaker 1: Not necessarily you want to reduce chronic stress and stress
19:32
Speaker 1: that actually makes you feel bad. But a lot of
19:34
Speaker 1: people perform very well and actually get a lot of
19:37
Speaker 1: genuine life satisfaction where they put under pressure where they
19:40
Speaker 1: can really perform and make a difference. So I also
19:44
Speaker 1: have an entire episode on how to write the most
19:46
Speaker 1: effective to do this. I'm going to link it in
19:47
Speaker 1: my show notes, but that is one that I think
19:50
Speaker 1: you should listen to in conjunction to this episode. I
19:52
Speaker 1: think it will really help. The next thing you're going
19:55
Speaker 1: to do is stop building your life where five days
20:00
Speaker 1: are the price you pay for two days of enjoyment,
20:02
Speaker 1: five days until the weekend, Oh, Monday, five days until
20:05
Speaker 1: the weekend, three days until my holiday, it's two months
20:07
Speaker 1: until Christmas, it's two months until that Christmas break, or
20:09
Speaker 1: it's two months until the summer break. So when you're
20:13
Speaker 1: constantly counting down, you're treating the current period as something
20:16
Speaker 1: that you have to endure, something that you have to
20:19
Speaker 1: like slog it out, fuck and then get to the end,
20:22
Speaker 1: like just hanging on for deal. Life trembling by the
20:25
Speaker 1: time you get to the end. That's why so many people,
20:27
Speaker 1: by the time they get to a holiday, they get
20:29
Speaker 1: sick on holiday because their life is so intense and
20:32
Speaker 1: they're like, just get through it, and then the moment
20:33
Speaker 1: they're trying and relax, everybody's like, oh, and then you
20:35
Speaker 1: come crashing down. You don't want to be wishing your
20:38
Speaker 1: life away. You can't be wishing away five days out
20:41
Speaker 1: of every seven. As an example, now, I always remind
20:44
Speaker 1: people about their mortality, like the fact that we've got
20:47
Speaker 1: like a finite amount of time left on this life.
20:49
Speaker 1: Whether it's you look at about how many years you
20:51
Speaker 1: got left or how many weeks you would have left
20:53
Speaker 1: if you were to live to ninety or whatever. And
20:56
Speaker 1: as morbid as that can sound, because you're thinking about
21:00
Speaker 1: relatively often and your own death, your own mortality, I
21:04
Speaker 1: don't think that to me is more uplifting and makes
21:07
Speaker 1: me be more in the moment than treating most days
21:10
Speaker 1: in my life as filler days. That's worse. A lot
21:13
Speaker 1: of people are like, oh my god, that's so morbid
21:15
Speaker 1: to think about. Oh my god, but you've only got
21:16
Speaker 1: X amount of weeks left in your life, for x
21:18
Speaker 1: amount of years left. I don't want to think about
21:20
Speaker 1: that I'm dying every single day. I don't want to
21:21
Speaker 1: remind myself that I'm going to die. But to me,
21:24
Speaker 1: it's like, not that I do it every day, but
21:25
Speaker 1: I do it often enough that it's as simple like
21:28
Speaker 1: be present in the moment and make the most of
21:29
Speaker 1: the day that you've got today, because I think it's
21:33
Speaker 1: worse to be in denial, but then look at so
21:36
Speaker 1: many few days as filler days, and oh, I've just
21:38
Speaker 1: got to get through this day, get through this day,
21:40
Speaker 1: get through this day. That's awful, especially if you're like,
21:43
Speaker 1: got so many things that you could be doing with
21:45
Speaker 1: your life, you don't want to get to the end
21:47
Speaker 1: of your life and look back and be like, I
21:48
Speaker 1: literally was wishing away most of my twenties or most
21:51
Speaker 1: of my thirties. Why why wasn't I taking the reins
21:54
Speaker 1: and trying to change it as much as possible. The
21:57
Speaker 1: next thing you're going to ask is or the next
21:59
Speaker 1: thing you're going to do is ask yourself, what is
22:01
Speaker 1: this dread teaching me about my life? Is it that
22:06
Speaker 1: I just need to be better at planning? Is it
22:08
Speaker 1: that if I was to be more organized, that's all
22:12
Speaker 1: it's teaching me? Like I for example, for me, when
22:16
Speaker 1: I do experience that dread, it just comes down to
22:18
Speaker 1: lack of organization, and I do have that dread. There
22:20
Speaker 1: are times, not always, definitely not always. I've gotten like,
22:24
Speaker 1: very good at turning my week into something that I
22:26
Speaker 1: love almost every day, but there are moments where there's
22:28
Speaker 1: a lot of my plate and I know for a
22:30
Speaker 1: fact I've been unorganized, and I know for a fact
22:32
Speaker 1: that I've been very scattered with my time management, and
22:34
Speaker 1: I know it could have been better. But then I
22:37
Speaker 1: have that dread because I'm like, I'm just not managing
22:39
Speaker 1: my time properly. And then I've just I've brought this
22:41
Speaker 1: upon myself. I've literally brought this upon myself so that
22:44
Speaker 1: you could be some of that. Like if I was
22:46
Speaker 1: just to be able to take the reins of that,
22:48
Speaker 1: I would be able to enjoy my life more. But
22:50
Speaker 1: then maybe it's something deeper than that, a lot deeper,
22:53
Speaker 1: and we're not addressing it because we think it's going
22:55
Speaker 1: to be too hard to change. Maybe it's like a
22:58
Speaker 1: serious burnout problem, routine problem. Maybe it's a real relationship
23:02
Speaker 1: problem that on the weekends you're like busy doing all
23:05
Speaker 1: these fun things, but when it gets to the mundane
23:06
Speaker 1: thing you start, it highlights all these issues in a
23:08
Speaker 1: relationship that you have. Maybe you're unable to set proper boundaries.
23:12
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a workload problem. No matter how much you
23:16
Speaker 1: enjoy a challenge or whatever, there's just way too much
23:18
Speaker 1: on your plate that you can never actually breathe or
23:21
Speaker 1: have a moment to yourself. Maybe you actually do just
23:23
Speaker 1: hate your job and that's a real problem, but you're
23:26
Speaker 1: not wanting to really address it and do something about
23:29
Speaker 1: it because the journey to get there is going to
23:31
Speaker 1: feel like insurmountable. Maybe you don't want to let someone down,
23:34
Speaker 1: so you continue living the life that you're living like,
23:37
Speaker 1: we need to decide what is this dread or this
23:40
Speaker 1: anxiety teaching us, because it can teach you something that's
23:43
Speaker 1: fixable within a week, or it can teach you something
23:45
Speaker 1: very significant that means you're going to need to make
23:47
Speaker 1: some serious major changes in your life. But in a
23:49
Speaker 1: couple of months time, you're going to feel like you
23:51
Speaker 1: have you're already across it. Do you need to actually
23:54
Speaker 1: change your career? Do you need to not necessarily change
23:56
Speaker 1: your career, but change where the fuck you're working with,
23:58
Speaker 1: because no matter what you do, your boss is the
24:01
Speaker 1: bane of your existence. And yeah, so yeah, you basically
24:06
Speaker 1: don't want to become so good at only managing your
24:10
Speaker 1: Sunday scary is of your anxiety that then you stop
24:14
Speaker 1: questioning why you are always feeling this way and like,
24:19
Speaker 1: what is this actually meaning? There has to be some
24:22
Speaker 1: meaning behind it. And sometimes when you break down the meaning,
24:24
Speaker 1: you're able to reassess and be like, no, I just
24:26
Speaker 1: need to do these little things. But other times you avoid, avoid, avoid,
24:29
Speaker 1: when in reality you are needing a huge overhaul of
24:32
Speaker 1: things that just I'm not working for you. And then
24:35
Speaker 1: there's other things that you can ask yourself. I've got
24:37
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of questions that you can ask. For example,
24:40
Speaker 1: what exactly am I dreading? Is this anxiety about Monday
24:43
Speaker 1: or the end of the holiday, or is it a
24:46
Speaker 1: dissatisfaction with my life in general? What am I trying
24:49
Speaker 1: to remember that's creating mental load for me that I
24:51
Speaker 1: could offload onto something. What's one thing that I could
24:54
Speaker 1: do today that makes this week easier? What am I
24:57
Speaker 1: looking forward to on Wednesday? Like, have you actually done
25:00
Speaker 1: something to actually look forward to something in the middle
25:02
Speaker 1: of the week? What can or what do I enjoy
25:05
Speaker 1: about Mondays? Did I actually get to rest this weekend?
25:08
Speaker 1: Did I intentionally rest or was I losing hours and
25:11
Speaker 1: hours of time that I was wasting? Am I living
25:14
Speaker 1: for my weekends? How many days of my life am
25:17
Speaker 1: I regularly wishing away? As a percentage, roughly, what part
25:21
Speaker 1: of my week day needs changing because there's certain slots
25:26
Speaker 1: within the day. What did I learn from how I
25:28
Speaker 1: managed my last week that I could apply as a
25:31
Speaker 1: lesson into this week? And what's one small adjustment based
25:34
Speaker 1: on last week that I could bring into this week.
25:37
Speaker 1: So this is what a couple of things that I
25:40
Speaker 1: would like you to do. I want you to start
25:42
Speaker 1: doing if this is something you can do daily, do
25:45
Speaker 1: one thing that makes the U of tomorrow feel a
25:49
Speaker 1: little bit more supported. So I know that we like
25:52
Speaker 1: to focus on the now and all of that, but
25:55
Speaker 1: I want you to look at the U of next
25:56
Speaker 1: week as a friend, don't really look at it as yourself,
25:59
Speaker 1: because we as people are really bad at actually imagining
26:01
Speaker 1: our future selves. We're really bad at it. It's like
26:03
Speaker 1: temporal discounting all these reasons why we feel that way,
26:07
Speaker 1: but when it comes to imagining ourselves in the future,
26:10
Speaker 1: it just feels like someone that's like a distant stranger.
26:13
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, yep, that person will have to what
26:14
Speaker 1: a shame that person has to deal with all of that.
26:16
Speaker 1: We don't really really feel it as being ourselves. That's
26:18
Speaker 1: why we're so flippant on these long term or midterm goals.
26:23
Speaker 1: But imagine that you're doing something for someone you absolutely
26:25
Speaker 1: adore who's just such a good person. It be your
26:27
Speaker 1: best friend, your sibling, your partner, your child, someone that
26:30
Speaker 1: you're like, I really want to help this person out.
26:32
Speaker 1: So imagine that you're just doing a little favor for them,
26:34
Speaker 1: but it's actually you. Surprise, surprise, surprise, you're doing something
26:37
Speaker 1: else for yourself. So anything that reduces a kind of
26:41
Speaker 1: conflict in the mind and makes a decision and sets
26:43
Speaker 1: something in stone is really good. And it could be
26:45
Speaker 1: something so basic like that. Fuck An old one that
26:48
Speaker 1: I always talk about is just get your outfit ready
26:50
Speaker 1: for tomorrow or your workout clothes ready for tomorrow. Or
26:54
Speaker 1: decide exactly what you're going to eat tomorrow for dinner,
26:56
Speaker 1: even if you haven't done the groceries yet. That decision
26:58
Speaker 1: is then something you don't have to decay tomorrow or
27:01
Speaker 1: write in exact order. What are the things you're going
27:03
Speaker 1: to tackle when you get to the office tomorrow. It's
27:05
Speaker 1: going to be exactly this order. I don't have to
27:07
Speaker 1: think about it. I'm not fucking around here and there,
27:09
Speaker 1: and I'm going to time block or anything that's going
27:11
Speaker 1: to help the U of tomorrow feel a little bit
27:14
Speaker 1: more on top of your game, perfect sense sense. So
27:24
Speaker 1: other things that you can do is I like to
27:27
Speaker 1: do this either on a Monday morning or if I
27:30
Speaker 1: can do it on a Sunday night, I'll do it
27:32
Speaker 1: on a Sunday night. But I'm more than happy to
27:33
Speaker 1: do it on a Monday morning because I'm able to
27:36
Speaker 1: time wise, I am able to some people that work
27:38
Speaker 1: nine to five, they're not gonna be able to find
27:39
Speaker 1: the slot that works. But choose a time where you're
27:43
Speaker 1: gonna have it as your preparation time for the week.
27:46
Speaker 1: This time it could be half an hour, it could
27:47
Speaker 1: be an hour, but you're booking your workouts in advance,
27:50
Speaker 1: and if you don't do classes or whatever, you're deciding,
27:53
Speaker 1: you're locking in when you're going to go to the gym.
27:55
Speaker 1: It's written down in your fucking paper diary. If you
27:58
Speaker 1: have a paper diary like me, or you can put
28:00
Speaker 1: in your digital calendar, you are going to If you
28:02
Speaker 1: work out at home, you're going to block out that
28:04
Speaker 1: time at home and it is what it is you're
28:06
Speaker 1: working out at that time. Another thing that you could
28:08
Speaker 1: do if you work out of house every day is
28:10
Speaker 1: choose your outfits for the week or roughly decide what's
28:13
Speaker 1: my vibe for this week, what's kind of the general
28:15
Speaker 1: vibe for my outfits this week. That way, you offload
28:17
Speaker 1: that work plan your dinners. Decide what am I going
28:20
Speaker 1: to eat in advance, and if you're someone that loves
28:21
Speaker 1: to meal prep, you could also decide when that's going
28:24
Speaker 1: to happen and how and whatever, and the groceries and
28:26
Speaker 1: order your groceries will go and do it. I want
28:29
Speaker 1: you to prepare something for the Monday night that makes
28:32
Speaker 1: Monday night something that you can look forward to. Whether
28:35
Speaker 1: it be going out for a frozen yogurt, or whether
28:38
Speaker 1: it be meeting up with your friends to walk your
28:40
Speaker 1: dogs together, or whether it be a rom common a
28:42
Speaker 1: Monday night. Something that makes Monday something less of a
28:44
Speaker 1: dread is what you're going to do. Set the appointments.
28:48
Speaker 1: So this maybe can't be done on a Sunday afternoon,
28:50
Speaker 1: but maybe on a Monday. If I need to go
28:51
Speaker 1: to the dentist, this that write down all the appointments
28:54
Speaker 1: I need to do and in a ten minute time slot,
28:56
Speaker 1: then I'm going to book them all. If I spread
28:57
Speaker 1: it out throughout the week, then it's going to feel like,
28:59
Speaker 1: oh God, just do that, or do it like lock
29:01
Speaker 1: in a time to set your appointments and then if
29:05
Speaker 1: you can ideally do one piece of annoying life admin
29:09
Speaker 1: so for you that might have already been the appointments. Great.
29:11
Speaker 1: For me, it's organizing one draw in my bathroom. That's
29:15
Speaker 1: shit that every time I do that, I feel like
29:17
Speaker 1: a brand new person. So do something that is a tiny, tiny,
29:20
Speaker 1: ten minute bit of life adminute. It could even be
29:22
Speaker 1: less than ten minutes. Now, the other thing I want
29:24
Speaker 1: you to do is put something in the middle off
29:26
Speaker 1: your week that is worth looking forward to. Kind of
29:29
Speaker 1: like I said, set something on Monday, something tiny, but
29:31
Speaker 1: romanticize the Monday. You're going to put something in the
29:34
Speaker 1: middle of the week that makes the middle of the
29:36
Speaker 1: week as exciting as your weekends or as that holiday.
29:40
Speaker 1: Now I'm being a little bit dramatic here. Does them
29:42
Speaker 1: to be as exciting as like a trip to Europe,
29:43
Speaker 1: for example, but it could be so. For example, as
29:46
Speaker 1: you guys know, if you've listened to my podcast for
29:48
Speaker 1: a while, every single Tuesday night that we've taken a
29:51
Speaker 1: hiatus because my cousin just had a baby, But every
29:53
Speaker 1: single Tuesday night we're resuming this Tuesday. So actually today
29:57
Speaker 1: when you're listening to this, we get together and we cook.
30:00
Speaker 1: Normally it's a brand new meal that we've done, and
30:02
Speaker 1: we then Tyrone and her wife Frankie, they eat the
30:06
Speaker 1: meal and they always give a score out of ten.
30:08
Speaker 1: So we've got this running chart of all these meals
30:10
Speaker 1: that we've made, and they're often a meal that we've
30:13
Speaker 1: never tackled before, and we swap houses, so like one
30:16
Speaker 1: week will be at my place, the other week will
30:18
Speaker 1: be at her place. And sometimes if we've made as
30:21
Speaker 1: like a one out of ten meal that was so awful,
30:24
Speaker 1: we'll revisit it and try and get a ten out
30:25
Speaker 1: of ten the next time, and things like that. So,
30:27
Speaker 1: but this is something on Tuesdays that we always look
30:29
Speaker 1: forward to. We love the Tuesdays. We start talking about
30:32
Speaker 1: it days in advance. What are we going to talk?
30:34
Speaker 1: What about this recipe? We send each other different recipes,
30:36
Speaker 1: We laugh about all these different things like and then
30:39
Speaker 1: like if we've got time, we meet up together and
30:41
Speaker 1: we go grocery shopping together for that. And so it
30:43
Speaker 1: ends up being something that really takes your mind off
30:46
Speaker 1: other bullshit that's going on, because you're like, we've really
30:48
Speaker 1: got a plan about this Tuesday dinner, like what's actually
30:50
Speaker 1: gonna happen? And we make it such an important part
30:52
Speaker 1: of our week that we take it very seriously. But
30:56
Speaker 1: it's such a nice hobby to have. It's such a
30:58
Speaker 1: nice little break something that we do. And Yeah, I'm
31:01
Speaker 1: very excited to get back into it. Because it's just
31:04
Speaker 1: a really enjoyable part of my week that I really
31:07
Speaker 1: cherish a lot, and we have that quality time and
31:10
Speaker 1: while we're cooking. Now it's a little bit different because
31:12
Speaker 1: weve got kids, so they'll be that like looking after
31:14
Speaker 1: the kids as well. But while we're cooking, normally Tyrone
31:16
Speaker 1: and Frankie will play cards, have a glass of wine,
31:18
Speaker 1: they're just chilling whatever, and we're creating this masterpiece in
31:21
Speaker 1: the kitchen. So that's a great example. So you could
31:24
Speaker 1: do something like that. You could have like a trivia
31:27
Speaker 1: night that you go to. You could have a rom
31:30
Speaker 1: com night. Have you guessed that I love rom coms?
31:33
Speaker 1: You could have something that you organize with your friends.
31:36
Speaker 1: It could be a phone call, it could be online,
31:38
Speaker 1: it could be in person. Ideally if you can in person,
31:40
Speaker 1: maybe you start a class that you love, not a
31:42
Speaker 1: class that you dread that requires all this homework that
31:44
Speaker 1: gives you more anxiety, something that you look forward to
31:46
Speaker 1: in the middle of the week a Tuesday or a Wednesday,
31:49
Speaker 1: on a day that normally is like, oh, you got
31:51
Speaker 1: to turn it into Oh I can't waite for that.
31:53
Speaker 1: I'm so excited pump time. Pump's become a hobby. Now
31:55
Speaker 1: I'm like fucking passionate. I never thought i'd like cooking,
31:57
Speaker 1: and now it's one of the things I look forward
31:59
Speaker 1: to the most in my week. So it could be
32:02
Speaker 1: seeing your family, movie night, favorite meal, a walk, whatever,
32:06
Speaker 1: fill in the blanks, and yeah, it's just a way
32:10
Speaker 1: that you can start to romanticize the midweek, romanticize your life. Now.
32:14
Speaker 1: I did an episode about romanticizing your life, I think,
32:18
Speaker 1: and I do want to bring a little bit of
32:20
Speaker 1: that into this episode. If you haven't heard that episode,
32:23
Speaker 1: I want you to really imagine, can you watch a
32:25
Speaker 1: sitcom like those TV shows like Friends, or like Sex
32:29
Speaker 1: and the City or whatever, any city or I'm really
32:31
Speaker 1: pulling out the old school ones, but any sitcom. These
32:35
Speaker 1: people often have things that they do within their day,
32:39
Speaker 1: within their life that they're not just living for the weekends.
32:42
Speaker 1: They're meeting up with their friends in the middle of
32:44
Speaker 1: the day when they all work in the city and
32:46
Speaker 1: maybe doing a lunch or a yoga class together or something.
32:49
Speaker 1: That there's all these little pockets within the week that
32:52
Speaker 1: they're filling up with cute things. Now, obviously this goes
32:55
Speaker 1: without saying you have to tailor it to your lifestyle.
32:58
Speaker 1: You might only work from home, you might not live
33:00
Speaker 1: in a city that where you're near your friends. You
33:02
Speaker 1: might fill in the blanks. There's all these reasons why
33:05
Speaker 1: what I say doesn't apply to absolutely every single person.
33:07
Speaker 1: But use your creativity. There's things that you can always
33:09
Speaker 1: do to make your week a little bit more exciting.
33:11
Speaker 1: One example that I gave if you don't live near
33:13
Speaker 1: your friends is on your commute home. Make it like,
33:16
Speaker 1: let's say you catch the train home. That's when you're
33:18
Speaker 1: calling your best friend or your cousin and you're going
33:20
Speaker 1: through like a list of things that you discuss or whatever. Like,
33:22
Speaker 1: you can always make it work. But what is it
33:25
Speaker 1: that if you were in a sitcom or a rom com,
33:28
Speaker 1: that your life would be that little more entertaining, that
33:31
Speaker 1: it would be the topic of an actual TV show.
33:34
Speaker 1: That's how I like to look at romanticizing your life. Like,
33:36
Speaker 1: if someone was to look at my life, what would
33:38
Speaker 1: they be like, Oh, that's such a cute little thing
33:39
Speaker 1: that they do. That's such a nice thing they do
33:41
Speaker 1: for themselves or for their friends, or I really want
33:43
Speaker 1: to I'd love to include what that person does into
33:45
Speaker 1: my life. That is, where you're doing something really nice
33:48
Speaker 1: with your day. That makes each day symbolic and meaningful.
33:53
Speaker 1: And when you lay your head down on that pillow,
33:55
Speaker 1: you think, well, that was a really nice day because
33:57
Speaker 1: there was that pocket of time when I You also
33:59
Speaker 1: want to ask yourself everything is an era in your
34:02
Speaker 1: life when you had that job, when you went to UNI,
34:05
Speaker 1: when you lived in that sharehouse, when you first moved
34:07
Speaker 1: in with your partner, where all these things are eras.
34:10
Speaker 1: So you got to ask yourself when this era is done.
34:12
Speaker 1: Even if you don't see the finish line, even if
34:14
Speaker 1: it feels like this is an era that's going to
34:15
Speaker 1: go on for a while, there's always going to be
34:17
Speaker 1: a new one on the horizon. So you want to say,
34:19
Speaker 1: when this era is done, I want to be able
34:21
Speaker 1: to look back on it and think, oh my god,
34:23
Speaker 1: that was the time of my life where I used
34:25
Speaker 1: to X Y Z on my lunch breaks, or I
34:27
Speaker 1: used to meet up with these people, or I used
34:28
Speaker 1: to do this. That's when you start to really be
34:31
Speaker 1: able to romanticize your life, where you can mark these
34:33
Speaker 1: eras with habits and beautiful rituals that you would do
34:37
Speaker 1: with your life that gave your life more meaning. And
34:40
Speaker 1: then when you have a holiday planned, it's just another
34:44
Speaker 1: exciting thing to look forward to. But you're enjoying your
34:46
Speaker 1: day to day life so much. So Yeah. Like another thing,
34:49
Speaker 1: I don't know if I mentioned it yet, I'm going
34:51
Speaker 1: to Paris in like twelve weeks, so fucking excited, But
34:53
Speaker 1: I'm not counting down the days like oh god, fuck
34:56
Speaker 1: a wait to get the bug out? If not at all,
34:57
Speaker 1: Like I'm so excited to go to Paris. About the
34:59
Speaker 1: spirit you love, I just bomb fucking jok, can I say?
35:03
Speaker 1: But I'm still very excited to have these next twelve
35:06
Speaker 1: weeks here doing the most with work, the podcast, my family,
35:09
Speaker 1: and my friends. That's what you want to get it too. Now,
35:12
Speaker 1: Another thing that I did want to touch on is
35:15
Speaker 1: I want you to if you if you're looking at
35:18
Speaker 1: your weekends or your holidays and you're like, but I
35:20
Speaker 1: need to have some downtime, but then I feel guilty. Whatever,
35:23
Speaker 1: if you feel guilty for doing nothing, I want you
35:25
Speaker 1: to get very good at being intentionally unproductive. This is
35:30
Speaker 1: going to do wonders for your mental health. There's a
35:31
Speaker 1: big difference between saying I wasted three hours doing nothing
35:35
Speaker 1: and that's where you're kind of nor here nor there
35:37
Speaker 1: you're dwardling. You might be doom scrolling. You might be like, oh,
35:39
Speaker 1: I was trying to watch this shitty film and then
35:41
Speaker 1: I just like stuck it out. But then I was
35:42
Speaker 1: a shit film, and then I should have never Versus
35:46
Speaker 1: I decided that I was going to do pretty much
35:49
Speaker 1: nothing for three hours. I just want to chill out
35:51
Speaker 1: for three hours. And I made that decision and I
35:53
Speaker 1: locked it in and I just wanted to have downtime.
35:55
Speaker 1: There's a big difference. So it's a similar behavior, but
35:59
Speaker 1: it's a different repretation. If you intentionally schedule I just
36:02
Speaker 1: want to lie on the couch and just close my
36:03
Speaker 1: eyes in daydream. I just want to watch reruns of
36:07
Speaker 1: the show that I've seen before. I just want to
36:09
Speaker 1: read my book. I just want to be sitting outside
36:12
Speaker 1: in the sun and getting some sunlight on my fucking face.
36:15
Speaker 1: I want to do nothing. If you intentionally set out
36:20
Speaker 1: to do nothing, it will feel really good because you
36:24
Speaker 1: ticked off something that mattered to you. If you're like, oh,
36:27
Speaker 1: I want to do all these things, but then you're
36:29
Speaker 1: kind of like pacifying and scrolling and this, and you're
36:32
Speaker 1: not actually feel rested because in the back of your head,
36:34
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I should be doing more. I should
36:35
Speaker 1: be doing more. Maybe I shouldn't. Then you're not going
36:37
Speaker 1: to feel like you're rested. You're going to feel like
36:39
Speaker 1: you wasted time. You need to make doing nothing intentional,
36:43
Speaker 1: block it out and do nothing, and then afterwards you've
36:46
Speaker 1: got energy. You're like, I actually rested. That felt really good.
36:49
Speaker 1: I have zero gelt attached to this because it was
36:52
Speaker 1: my intention to actually do not much at all. Unplanned
36:56
Speaker 1: inactivity can sometimes feel like you're procrastinating, but planned in
36:59
Speaker 1: a activity feels like you've rested. Now. Be careful with
37:03
Speaker 1: the scrolling, though, because sometimes if we scroll too much,
37:05
Speaker 1: it doesn't really feel like resting because your mind's like, like,
37:08
Speaker 1: do actual things that were you're resting. Read a book
37:10
Speaker 1: in the sun. That's one of my favorite things to
37:11
Speaker 1: do in this world. Yes, So, like I said, there's
37:14
Speaker 1: a difference between rest and relaxation and genuine wasted time.
37:18
Speaker 1: So when you feel rested, it's restorative and it never
37:22
Speaker 1: feels like a waste. And when you spend your time
37:24
Speaker 1: doing things that you know was a waste, you feel
37:27
Speaker 1: worse off. You don't feel rested, you have regret, you
37:29
Speaker 1: have remorse, the feeling is very different, and you're the
37:32
Speaker 1: feeling now. Another thing that I want you to do
37:34
Speaker 1: at the very end of the week, when you're coming
37:36
Speaker 1: to the end of like your holiday, or when you're
37:38
Speaker 1: coming to the end of the weekend and you normally
37:41
Speaker 1: would get into that dread, is I want you to
37:43
Speaker 1: do something really good for the soul when it comes
37:45
Speaker 1: to the end of that. Let's say you're someone that
37:47
Speaker 1: at the end of your holidays you always have this dread.
37:50
Speaker 1: What's something that you can do that's really good for
37:52
Speaker 1: the soul that makes you feel like your cup is
37:55
Speaker 1: full before you start, or like on a Sunday night.
37:59
Speaker 1: So a really good one is to actually get together
38:03
Speaker 1: with people that make you feel really good, whether it
38:05
Speaker 1: be there your sibling or your cousin, or like with me,
38:07
Speaker 1: if I was cooking with my cousin, that's really good
38:09
Speaker 1: for the soul. Or I could have people come over
38:11
Speaker 1: and we could watch a nice movie together and make popcorn.
38:13
Speaker 1: That's going to make me feel really good about my
38:15
Speaker 1: Sunday night. I'm going to look forward to it. I'm
38:17
Speaker 1: not going to be sitting there twitching my right eyeball
38:20
Speaker 1: rocking in the futual position in a dark room's coming
38:23
Speaker 1: to me. I'm going to be social, joking, happy, eating
38:26
Speaker 1: some popcorn, watching a nice movie, having a great time
38:29
Speaker 1: playing cards, maybe drawing a bath, and listening to some
38:32
Speaker 1: nice music. Maybe rearranging a part of my home. I
38:36
Speaker 1: love to rearrange furniture. By the way, I also think
38:39
Speaker 1: that as a part time job, I should be one
38:41
Speaker 1: of those people that put together flat packs from my Kia.
38:43
Speaker 1: Love doing that shit. So anything like, do something creative,
38:47
Speaker 1: start sewing nit, I don't know, do a puzzle, anything
38:50
Speaker 1: that you're like, oh, the thought of that would be
38:52
Speaker 1: so nice. Do that. Do that at the end of
38:55
Speaker 1: the time that's coming to, when the weekend comes to
38:57
Speaker 1: an end, when your holiday comes to an end, at
38:59
Speaker 1: the very last day day of that, do something that's
39:01
Speaker 1: really enriching for your soul to kind of sub out
39:05
Speaker 1: the trembling, twitching, eyeball anxiety that you normally would have.
39:08
Speaker 1: Give it a go. What have you got to lose
39:11
Speaker 1: spiraling into a ditch, that's what you've got to lose,
39:14
Speaker 1: So try it. Do something really good for the soul,
39:17
Speaker 1: and ask yourself, what activity makes me really feel like
39:21
Speaker 1: I've really lived that day. I've really lived the last
39:24
Speaker 1: day of my holidays. I've really lived my Sunday, and
39:26
Speaker 1: I feel really good Because then when you feel good
39:28
Speaker 1: about your Sunday, you actually are going to go into
39:31
Speaker 1: your week better. When you feel good about the end
39:33
Speaker 1: of your holidays, you come back feeling refreshed and ready
39:36
Speaker 1: to tackle your day to day instead of thinking like, oh,
39:39
Speaker 1: I've got to go back to the draw and then
39:41
Speaker 1: you don't want to get out of bed on that
39:42
Speaker 1: Monday morning. You don't want to and then the whole
39:44
Speaker 1: cycle starts again. A lot of it comes down to
39:46
Speaker 1: how we interpret the week that we're experiencing. So yeah,
39:50
Speaker 1: hopefully that's giving you some food for thought on how
39:53
Speaker 1: you can approach your week differently. If it's someone that
39:55
Speaker 1: has a Sunday scaries or that dread at the end
39:58
Speaker 1: of the week, how you can start to create that
40:01
Speaker 1: week that you don't have to run away from and
40:03
Speaker 1: that you're not counting down the days until Friday night
40:05
Speaker 1: or counting down the weeks until the trip to Paris. Anyway, Also,
40:10
Speaker 1: just as a little high, I kind of just dropped
40:12
Speaker 1: that bomb about Paris. So the reason we're doing Paris
40:14
Speaker 1: so excited my friend, Renee. Love her so much. You
40:17
Speaker 1: would have seen Renee if you follow my I mean,
40:19
Speaker 1: she's been on the podcast, by the way, but if
40:21
Speaker 1: you watch me on my stories, every time I got
40:24
Speaker 1: up to Noosa, which is where I grew up on
40:26
Speaker 1: the Sunshine Coast, Renee and I went to high school together,
40:28
Speaker 1: and every time we're there, hope I don't get arrested
40:31
Speaker 1: for this, but we always break into our high school
40:33
Speaker 1: and do it like a grand tour off the high school.
40:35
Speaker 1: We're like a haha, this is the like the detention
40:37
Speaker 1: room and this is the music room now. So that's
40:39
Speaker 1: Renee or my stories. We're always breaking into the high school,
40:41
Speaker 1: not break and we don't break anything. We just jump
40:43
Speaker 1: over a fence that's not even that high, Like if
40:45
Speaker 1: you were very tall, you technically could step over the fence.
40:48
Speaker 1: So is that breaking in. That's up for discussion. So
40:52
Speaker 1: we enter the school, we trespass, We trespass anyway. That's Renee.
40:57
Speaker 1: Renee is getting married next year. Love for her. She's
41:00
Speaker 1: an engaged woman now and she's going to be getting
41:04
Speaker 1: married next year. And she said, I want to do
41:06
Speaker 1: something really fun for my hens. And she says, and
41:09
Speaker 1: we're just doing the Hens is just the bridesmaids, so
41:12
Speaker 1: it's going to be Renee and three of us. So
41:14
Speaker 1: we were talking about what we could do. When I
41:16
Speaker 1: I was like to Tiana, one of the bridesmaids, I
41:18
Speaker 1: was like, do we go maybe like Bali? And Tiana's like, yes,
41:21
Speaker 1: we should definitely do Barli. She fucking loves Bari. Let's
41:23
Speaker 1: do that. And so we're looking at flights for Bali.
41:26
Speaker 1: And then as we're doing that, the twins nanny, she's Irish,
41:30
Speaker 1: she was talking about some really good flight deals that
41:33
Speaker 1: they have going back to Europe from like October onwards,
41:36
Speaker 1: and she's like, yeah, Eddie had had some really good
41:37
Speaker 1: deals because she booked a flight back home and I
41:40
Speaker 1: was like, really, And every time I hear a good
41:42
Speaker 1: deal and Paris and like Europe, I always look at
41:45
Speaker 1: flights to Paris. And there were fourteen hundred dollar return
41:49
Speaker 1: flights to Paris, and I'm like, that is a fucking
41:50
Speaker 1: bargain coming from Sydney to Paris. So message I said
41:55
Speaker 1: to the girls, I'm like, Bali or Paris. Hear me out,
41:58
Speaker 1: let's forget how much more expensive while you're there, and
42:01
Speaker 1: that we'd have to be there for longer and that
42:02
Speaker 1: it's just gonna blow out and be way more expensive,
42:04
Speaker 1: but food for thought, and they all obviously leapt on
42:07
Speaker 1: the idea. And then within I think three days, we
42:10
Speaker 1: booked the flights and now we're going to Paris in November,
42:14
Speaker 1: so very excited. Stay tuned. The theme for the hens
42:17
Speaker 1: for the whole week in Paris is mob wife, and
42:20
Speaker 1: it's gonna work really well because we can wear the
42:22
Speaker 1: faux fur coats and the stockings and all of that
42:24
Speaker 1: because it's going to be quite cold. Can't wait. Also,
42:26
Speaker 1: going to see one of my best friends, Shay, who
42:28
Speaker 1: lives in Paris, who I met when I was living
42:29
Speaker 1: in Paris, is just the best. That's a whole nother story,
42:32
Speaker 1: which I've already told I think on the podcast. Anyway,
42:35
Speaker 1: that's my life as a fucking podcaster who's going to
42:40
Speaker 1: Paris for hands. Anyway, That is all for the episode
42:42
Speaker 1: of today. Love you so much, Thank you so much
42:43
Speaker 1: for tuning in. If you did want to work for me,
42:45
Speaker 1: go and send your CV and a video of you
42:48
Speaker 1: talking absolute shit to info at darwifempod dot com. Love
42:52
Speaker 1: you guys so much. As always, remember be kind to yourself.
42:55
Speaker 1: Becoind to your brain. Don't take shit from anyone, and
42:57
Speaker 1: especially don't take shit from yourself. Dunker M.