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Why so many narcissists think that they are good people regardless of how they are treating you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists think that
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  they are such good people. Why what?
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  What does that thought even what?
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  How does that thought even get into their heads?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So boom. Welcome back, y'all.
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  Welcome back, welcome back. Yeah, y'all.
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  The audacity of some of these narcissistic toxic people,
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  including me. I was just like this as well,
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  y'all and I still struggle with this sometimes I still struggle
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  with this sometimes like like I said, y'all, y'all know y'all
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  been following me for any period of time.
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  If you haven't followed me, follow me right now that
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  narcissists struggle with identity problems and issues and
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  things of that nature. Narcissists don't want to be
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  viewed as bad people like we want.
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  We always want to be viewed as good people.
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  No matter what we do, no matter how we treat people, no matter
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  what we try to get away with. We always want to be viewed as
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  good people. So how do how do you get to the
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  point where you are viewed as a good person?
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  How by convincing yourself and others that you are a good
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  person. So I was reading the book whole
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  again by Jackson McKenzie. I just started reading the book
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  right? And he wrote a it was a saying
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  in there. He said if other people, he said
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  in narcissistic people's minds or traumatized people's minds or
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  shame avoiding people's minds. He said if other people think
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  that I am a good person, then I think that I am a good person.
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  And I was in a yeah, I was in Walmart shopping around,
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  dancing. I was in.
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  I was like, whoa. I had my headphones in my ear.
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  I was like, wait a minute, what'd you just say, Jackson?
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  I had to replay it. I said, what did you hit me?
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  I said, hit me, hit me with it again.
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  Jackson hit me with it again. It felt like, it felt like a
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  piece of slam poetry in my ear. And I think Jackson McKenzie,
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  did he pass away? I think, I think he might have
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  passed away. Y'all author of Whole Again,
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  Diddy Jackson McKenzie. Yeah, Diddy.
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  And he's the author of Whole Again and Psychopath Free Diddy.
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  But yeah, he said that y'all and I was just hype because it made
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  so much sense to me. It absolutely made so much sense
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  to me since to me, yeah. He died a year ago.
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  He died June 17th, 2023. Breathe and breathe.
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  And did he unalive himself? Oh my goodness, I think he
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  unalived himself. I think he I think he might have
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  took himself out of here y'all. He might have.
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  Don't quote me, but that's the way it goes though.
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  Y'all like narcissistic people, like want to convince other
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  people that they are good people.
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  I want to convince, I want to go out of my own way to convince
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  everybody else that I'm a good person.
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  Because once I succeed with that, once I've successfully
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  convinced other people that I am in fact a good person, then I
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  then victory is achieved, right? Then I have achieved victory,
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  right? Then I am there.
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  I've made it. Because if other people are just
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  screaming my praises to the top from the top of the rooftop,
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  right from the rooftops, saying Lee's a great person, Lee is the
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  best person ever. Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
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  Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee Lee.
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  I'm just getting all the praise, all the adoration I'm getting
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  all the all the alls, right? I'm getting everything right.
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  So I think I'm a good person because I'm doing so many good
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  deeds. I've convinced myself that I'm a
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  good person. So guess what happens?
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  Because I'm getting so much praise from other people,
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  because other people think that I'm a good person and I believe
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  that I'm a good person. This like washes away everything
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  that I've done. It washes away everything that
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  I've done every every transgression that I've
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  committed, everything that I've like, even the stuff that I'm
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  actively doing. You know, even the stuff that
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  I'm actively doing right now that might be wrong.
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  I could be out here actively cheating.
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  Not me right now y'all, This is just an example.
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  I know people that allegedly say you were cheating.
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  No, I could be out here actively cheating or doing something
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  horrible stuff. I could be like AI could be a
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  scam artist. I could be doing a whole bunch
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  of horrible stuff. That's that would normally make
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  people bad people, right? That stuff, cheating, abuse, all
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  that type of stuff behind the scenes make you makes you a bad
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  person, right? But if I'm considered a good
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  person by the majority of people, then I am a good person.
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  To me, it washes away the horrible stuff that I've done.
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  It counsels it out. It just does.
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  That's the mindset of it all right there, y'all?
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  It just does. That's the the that's how it
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  goes. So what I'm telling you, and I'm
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  telling people that are dealing with narcissists, right, that
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  this is how you like, they're going to think that they're a
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  good person regardless. And they might throw actually
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  throw it into your face. They might say, Hey, I'm
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  everybody, everybody loves me except for you.
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  So you are the problem and it makes sense, right?
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  And it makes sense. But let me go and say this right
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  here because I know when I say that right there, a lot of
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  people who are not who are who are not narcissist will come on
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  my I'll come on my stuff and say, well, Lee, I've said that
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  to my toxic partner did it before.
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  Does that make me a narcissist? I told my toxic partner that
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  everybody around me adores me except for them.
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  Does that make me a narcissist? What are you?
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  Are you abusing them? Are you being toxic as hell to
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  them? Are you lying to them?
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  Are you cheating on them? If you if the answer to those
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  questions is no, then you are not a narcissistic person in
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  that aspect of things right there.
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  They are just trying to convince you that you are fake.
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  When they are fake, they are projecting their own inner
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  fakeness onto you. They're projecting it onto you.
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  They want you to feel like you're the fake person when all
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  actuality it's them. They project it onto you.
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  Because I don't want to sit in it.
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  I don't want to sit in these bad feelings.
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  I don't want to sit in the feeling bad about myself or
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  about this relationship and things like that.
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  I don't want to sit with that. So in order to get rid of it, I
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  have to put it so it has to go somewhere else.
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  In order for me to shake free of it.
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  In order, in order for me to shake loose of it, I, it has to
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  go somewhere else. It has to go somewhere else.
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  You know, it really does. That's, that's that's why I'm
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  telling people like, if you're dealing with a narcissist, like
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  they are always going to have this in their back pocket,
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  especially if they have people, especially if they have a bunch
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  of flying monkeys. If a narcissist has a bunch of
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  blind support flying monkey bastards out there or fly, I
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  call them flying monkey bats, then they are like they're
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  always going to have a reason. Like you the only person don't
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  like me. My Mama still love me, my daddy
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  love me. All my friends say you're crazy.
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  All my friends don't like you. All my friends tell me I could
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  do better than you. All my friends that you should
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  have been there, forgave me for cheating, blah blah blah Boo Boo
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  Boo BBB all my friends. So they will absolutely justify
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  their horrible behaviors, their horrible treatment of you
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  because other people like them. And this is the reason why I'll
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  say this right here to y'all. This is the reason why you get a
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  lot of narcissists who become communal narcissists.
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  If you don't know what a communal narcissist is, it's a
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  narcissist, right? That is that's that's serving
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  the community. There's trying to make
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  themselves look like a good person by serving the community.
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  You have a you like a communal narcissist.
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  If you is when you have a person in a position of power that
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  looks good, the the career, they look good to the community
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  because the career is good. Like you have a pastor, it's out
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  there. Everybody thinks the pastor is a
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  great person, but the pastor then got then fathered four or
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  five kids out of wedlock and been married the whole time.
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  They got just just clapping out, just clapping the cheeks of all
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  the parishioners. Everybody gives a donation and
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  they're donating their womb to the pastor to the cheating
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  pastor. But people think the pastor is a
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  good because he's he's does good deed that you saying Pastor Lee
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  that baptize my baby is a bad person.
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  I don't think so. I don't think so.
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  Like he can't be he baptized my baby.
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  I don't believe him clapping other cheats.
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  I don't believe he got four kids out of the way.
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  I don't believe he cheating on the on the on the 1st the first
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  woman of the church. I don't think he doing that.
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  You can show them proof and they still won't carry out when they
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  have fly monkeys and they have these careers, they validate
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  them because they do their, their careers are in service, in
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  service of others. That this what their career is.
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  It doesn't mean that they like serving people.
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  It's like they like the benefits that they get from serving
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  people. They like the the aesthetic, the
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  look of what they get from serving people.
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  They like the narcissistic supply that they get from
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  serving others so they can justify their bad behaviors.
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  I'm going to pass up the church. I don't care if they might care
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  if I cheat because I'm a good pastor.
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  I'm the firefighter. I put out so many fires.
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  I say, you see, I say that, that that family from that burning
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  house, I'm allowed to clap somebody else.
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  I'm allowed to sleep with somebody else.
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  I'm a good person. They'll they'll say it out loud.
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  I'm a good person. I'm a good person.
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  They'll when they say that out loud, who are they trying to
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  convince you or themselves? I'm a good person.
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  I'm a lot. Look, I'm a nurse in the ER
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  Yeah. Who cares that I slept with
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  another nurse in the, in a, in a, in a closet, in the, in the,
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  in the hospital. Who cares?
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  I just saved the life. I just cut somebody a hole in
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  somebody's trachea and put a straw in there.
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  Like Grey's Anatomy. They breathe.
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  They couldn't breathe. So I put a hole in their throat
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  and stuff the straw in there and then they breathe another straw.
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  I did that. I'm a good person.
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  Who cares if I come home and beat you?
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  I'm a good person. Everybody like me, Everybody
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  adore me. That's why you get a lot of
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  narcissists who cultivate these good personal public images so
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  they look good, so they can feel like they're a good person.
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  Like Jackson McKenzie nailed that.
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  If I look like, if other people think that I'm a good person,
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  then I feel like a good person. That's literally the mindset of
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  a lot of narcissists. It really is.
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  So I tell so many people that this is what happens.
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  You know, this is what happens to so many people right here.
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  Like you can't convince that narcissist that they are a bad
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  person because they always have this to fall back on unless
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  their reputation gets shattered. When their reputation gets
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  shattered, then you probably can have a narcissistic collapse
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  with that narcissist or toxic person loses.
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  They loses their mind because they lost their identity.
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  You know, now that they don't, they don't have that fall back
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  plan. And now that they've been,
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  they've been exposed and nobody thinks that they're a good
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  person or they don't have that fall back plan, they can lose
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  their minds because their narcissistic collapse is coming.
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  Their, their ego is going to take a bunch of hits.
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  You know what I mean? Their ego is going to take a
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  bunch of hits and things of that nature.
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  So I'm just telling people this is what happens to so many
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  people so many times they need toxic relationships.
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  So that's how they justify, that's how they can say I'm a
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  good person, I'm a good person, but when they're doing horrible,
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  horrible stuff. Anyways, y'all, I'm gonna keep
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  this episode short and sweet. Make sure y'all subscribe to the
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  I will see y'all later. Mental illness is out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.