Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are a Freelancer
Transcript
- Lucas: So you're a freelancer, a solo consultant, a creator — and you hear everyone say 'you need a mentor.' And you think, okay, but who? My clients pay me — they are not my mentors. My peers are in the same boat. And cold-emailing someone I admire feels like shouting into the void. Luna: Right. The standard advice — 'ask someone for coffee' — it assumes you have an employer, a corporate structure, a built-in pool of senior people. Lucas: Exactly. And that assumption leaves freelancers out. So today I want to talk about a different approach — one that actually works when you don't have a company behind you. I call it the project-based mentor. Luna: Project-based mentor. I like that. What does it look like in practice? Lucas: Let me give you a real example. A freelance graphic designer I know — let's call her Maya — wanted to break into brand strategy. She had the design skills but didn't know how to think strategically about a brand. She found a senior creative director at a mid-sized agency whose work she admired. Instead of asking for a coffee chat, she invited him to collaborate on a paid, two-day brand sprint for a nonprofit she was already working with. Luna: She paid him? Lucas: Yes. A small fee, but it was enough to make it a real project, not a favor. The senior guy got to do interesting work, get paid, and see Maya's capabilities up close. By the end of the two days, he had given her more feedback on her strategic thinking than a dozen coffee chats would have. And he offered to do a second project three months later. Luna: So she turned a transactional relationship into a mentoring relationship — by making it a genuine collaboration first. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the core idea. Instead of asking for mentorship directly, you create a container — a project — where the mentorship happens naturally. The senior person sees your work, you see their process, and the advice is contextual and immediate. Luna: But not every freelancer has a project to offer. What if you are just starting out and don't have a client base yet? Lucas: Fair point. Then you can do a variation. Offer to help them on one of their projects — for free or a reduced rate — for a specific, limited scope. Like, 'I'll design the social media assets for your upcoming campaign, and in exchange, I'd love to sit in on one strategy call.' It's still a project, just you are the contributor. Luna: So it's not 'mentor me.' It's 'let me help you, and I'll learn by watching.' Lucas: Yes. The key is specificity. No open-ended 'I'd love to pick your brain.' That is the kiss of death for busy people. You say, 'I have this specific task. I think you are the best person to do it with me. Here's the timeline, here's the compensation or the trade, here's what you get out of it.' Luna: And you mentioned compensation — even if it's small. That signals respect for their time, which is huge. Lucas: Huge. Because when you are a freelancer, you are asking someone who also sells their time. They know the value. If you treat their time as valuable, they will treat your request seriously. Luna: This episode is actually a good example of something that makes me think — you know, if it was helpful to you, listener, you might want to support the show. We keep it ad-free, and listener support is what makes that possible. If today was worth a coffee to you, that's the link — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, and we mean a literal coffee. It's the smallest possible ask, but it adds up for us. And it keeps episodes like this coming. Luna: Exactly. So back to the project-based approach. What about finding the right person? How do you identify who to approach? Lucas: You want someone whose work is a level or two above yours, not ten levels. If you are a freelance writer, don't cold-approach the editor of The New Yorker. Find a senior writer at a respected publication who writes in your niche. The gap is small enough that your project can be genuinely useful to them. Luna: So the project has to be something they would actually want to do — not a make-work favor. Lucas: Exactly. And you can test that by offering something that aligns with their interests. Maybe they have a side passion project, or a topic they've been wanting to explore. Your project gives them a reason to do it. Luna: So the pitch is: 'I have this project that I think you'd find interesting. Here's what I need help with. Would you consider collaborating?' Lucas: Yes. And you can send it via LinkedIn or email. Keep it short. Three sentences max. I've seen this work for a freelance web developer who wanted to learn UX design. He approached a senior UX designer with a proposal to redesign a local charity's website together. They ended up working together for six months, and the senior designer became a de facto mentor. Luna: That's a great example because the charity project had a real purpose — it wasn't just a learning exercise. Lucas: Right. And that purpose gave the senior person a reason to say yes that wasn't just 'help someone out.' It was 'do good work, build a portfolio piece, and get paid a little.' Luna: What about peer mentors? For freelancers, sometimes the best advice comes from people at the same stage — because they face the same challenges. Lucas: That's a great point. And I think peer mentorship is underrated. A lot of freelancers join mastermind groups or accountability groups. But the key is structure. A loose 'we'll chat every month' usually fizzles. The groups that work have a format — like each person presents a business challenge for 20 minutes, then the group gives feedback. Luna: So it's a structured exchange of mentorship. You give and receive in equal measure. Lucas: Exactly. And that can be more sustainable than a single mentor relationship, because there is no power imbalance. You are all in it together. I know a freelance copywriter who joined a group of five solo professionals — a designer, a developer, a marketer, a photographer. They meet weekly on Zoom, and they've been doing it for two years. They've helped each other through pricing changes, client crises, and burnout. Luna: So for a freelancer, the mentor ecosystem might be a mix: one or two project-based mentors for specific skills, and a peer group for ongoing support. Lucas: Yes. And that's actually more resilient than having one traditional mentor. Because if that one person gets busy, you are not stranded. You have multiple sources of guidance. Luna: Let's talk about the ask itself. A freelancer might worry about rejection. How do you handle that? Lucas: Expect rejection. It's not personal. Busy people say no. But you can increase your odds by making the ask as easy to say yes to as possible. Keep the time commitment small, the project clearly scoped, and the value to them obvious. And if they say no, you can ask: 'Is there a different way I could learn from you? Maybe a one-hour paid consultation?' Sometimes they say yes to that. Luna: So the rejection becomes a negotiation. You find the format that works for them. Lucas: Exactly. And the key is to never take it personally. Their no is about their calendar, not your worth. Luna: Alright, so to recap for our freelancer listeners: find someone one or two levels ahead, offer a specific short-term project that benefits both of you, keep the ask small and respectful, and consider building a peer group for ongoing support. Lucas: That's it. And if you try the project-based approach, I'd love to hear how it goes. It's a different mindset, but I think it's the most honest way to get mentorship when you are on your own. Luna: Honest and practical. I'm going to try it myself for something I've been wanting to learn. Lucas: Let me know. And for everyone else — good luck finding your project-based mentor.