Latest / SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day! / Yoreh De’ah 234:63-68. Vows: Annulling, Personal Suffering, Benefitting Others or From Others, Marital Relations

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Yoreh De’ah 234:63-68. Vows: Annulling, Personal Suffering, Benefitting Others or From Others, Marital Relations · SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day!

• 0:01
  OK good morning Resh Lamadalid hilkos nidarim.
• 0:06
  OK we are on Samh Gimmel today. Just a quick thing about we
• 0:12
  mentioned yesterday that a husband can be a Shalia.
• 0:15
  So it just interesting the Rambam notes that even though
• 0:20
  the husband can be a Shalia, for the wife to do Ataras Nidarim
• 0:24
  she still has to have Karata. So anyways, we say in general
• 0:30
  Ishto Kagufo, we often use that more for Drusher reasons and
• 0:38
  Ashkafak reasons. Generally Lahalaka, it doesn't
• 0:42
  mean literal. So again, the whole issue of
• 0:45
  Shaliak's and Dinder Abanan. But in general, it's not mom,
• 0:50
  it's the same person, right? A woman can't put on thrilling
• 0:54
  for the husband. There's all kinds of examples.
• 0:56
  When a woman gives Zanette there, she still needs the
• 0:59
  husband to undo it because it's not they're not the same person
• 1:03
  anyways, Miss Tama she so she obviously has to consent.
• 1:07
  She has to have Karata and I believe probably she needs to
• 1:10
  ask him to do to be the Shalia to be appointed to be the
• 1:14
  Shalia. But anyways, let's move on to
• 1:17
  today. Samer Gilmo Nadra mistakey Karot
• 1:22
  Biyahar. So a woman, she makes a nether
• 1:27
  not to benefit from 2 loaves of bread.
• 1:30
  You can say 1 is white, one's all wheat, one is sourdough,
• 1:34
  whatever it is. But Al Ekhad meets the erit in
• 1:39
  Moto Kalenu and one of them, it's going to bother her if she
• 1:43
  can never eat this type of bread again.
• 1:45
  She enjoys it. Well, Asheni Eno meets the erit
• 1:48
  and on the second one she's happy, but she's never going to
• 1:50
  eat it anyway. She doesn't like that type of
• 1:52
  bread. So then the Hafair Ishtehan, so
• 1:55
  he does Hafarah on both of them. OK, so then the halakha is
• 2:02
  Alota. She meets the Eric Halahafarah
• 2:05
  on the one that she's going to feel bad about that she's going
• 2:07
  to miss from never eating. That's inui nefesh.
• 2:11
  So for her for that's inui nefesh for her.
• 2:13
  So therefore he's allowed to do hafarah for her, right?
• 2:16
  It's nothing to do with the two of them together.
• 2:18
  So it's not a banalabina. It's the question is, is it Inui
• 2:21
  or not Inui? The low al Otasha Eno meets the
• 2:24
  air it, but the Hafara doesn't go on the one that she doesn't
• 2:28
  like. So the one she's doesn't like,
• 2:29
  she's not going to really eat it anyway.
• 2:31
  But if she wants to eat it, she has to do Ataris and Darren or
• 2:34
  she'll be violating her nether. Now this basically halacha
• 2:39
  works. Akuli Alma, even though there's
• 2:41
  an opinion that says Meifer and Meetsato Eno Mufar, right.
• 2:44
  We learned the first thing that says Hafara.
• 2:47
  I'm part of the nether. So then it does right.
• 2:49
  We learned that it does work as the Ekarhala.
• 2:52
  However, there are some and the Rama brings it.
• 2:55
  That one says it doesn't work. You can't do partial.
• 2:59
  So here it everyone agrees it works because it's impossible
• 3:03
  otherwise. And he said it's thumb.
• 3:05
  He didn't the fetish. The only time it's it doesn't
• 3:09
  work is if you specify well for this one, I'm a friend, for that
• 3:14
  one I'm not. So then that kind of ruins the
• 3:17
  the formula for it to work anyway.
• 3:20
  Zion sham, the the chronic. Let's go to Samir Dalid Amra
• 3:28
  Konam Shani, Nahena Labriot. So the case over here, she's
• 3:34
  making a Neder or a Shavua, whatever the case might be,
• 3:38
  depends on the exact Lasha. But basically she's making a
• 3:42
  she's prohibiting she's not going to get any benefit from
• 3:47
  other people. That's that's what it means.
• 3:54
  She is not going to benefit from other people.
• 3:58
  So it should be called right? Well, no, no direct benefit is
• 4:02
  that's what it's that's what it applies to.
• 4:04
  Yeshumisha, Omar dhave nidri inui nefesh.
• 4:08
  So some say this is a problem of inui nefesh because she might
• 4:15
  want to benefit from this person, the Asia Misha Omer.
• 4:19
  She ain't a melodovarian Shibeno la Vena and sent.
• 4:24
  And then in other words, well, she might want to buy from this
• 4:28
  person, benefit from this person.
• 4:30
  So there's going to be an could be an union of inui nefesh.
• 4:33
  The other opinion says, no, it's not an issue of inui nefesh.
• 4:39
  It's more of a problem between the two of them because now the
• 4:43
  husband is going to have to deal with feeding her, feeding
• 4:47
  himself or going to the store himself to buy the food.
• 4:51
  Before he could have just said you go to the store, buy the
• 4:54
  food. But if she made a net there
• 4:55
  about going to the market or benefiting from anyone else, now
• 4:59
  it's incumbent upon him to deal with it.
• 5:02
  So that's the reasoning of the second opinion.
• 5:05
  And it seems to be based on what we learned before and the Taz
• 5:11
  and others, that Ikarhalaka is like the first opinion that it's
• 5:17
  under the category of Inui nephesh because it's also
• 5:22
  Benella vena, but it's also Inui nephesh, which is a little bit
• 5:26
  more Mako, right? It's lasts longer even after
• 5:29
  they get divorced. OK, Samer, hey, Nadra
• 5:34
  Shalolehenat la Brielt. She makes another that she is
• 5:38
  not going to give any. She's not this.
• 5:42
  This is what it means. She's not going to benefit from
• 5:47
  other people. But so so we said it could,
• 5:50
  right? She's not going to benefit other
• 5:54
  No, she's not going to benefit from others.
• 5:58
  Rather Shalole, not the Brielt. She's not going to she's not
• 6:01
  going to benefit from other people.
• 6:04
  That's actually the case. And in both sorry, in Sama Talib
• 6:08
  and Sama, hey, as the shock points out, it can Rita Klomar.
• 6:12
  She's not going to benefit from other people.
• 6:18
  So she can answer herself. You know, I'm going to say it
• 6:21
  now and we're going to see it. It's it's a little bit of a
• 6:24
  theme that's going to come up for the next few theme,
• 6:28
  especially when we get to Toshmi's relations in a moment.
• 6:32
  But the general principle important to keep straight.
• 6:35
  A person can forbid unto themselves, they can they can
• 6:40
  make things more. They can as as an expression,
• 6:44
  one can punish himself. One can make things more
• 6:46
  difficult for themselves. They can forbid themselves even
• 6:52
  if it has an indirect consequence for other people.
• 6:57
  However, one cannot directly prohibit someone else's property
• 7:05
  onto them or they cannot prohibit someone else's right
• 7:10
  that they're that's deserving to them against their will.
• 7:14
  Then it doesn't work. Then it's not call.
• 7:16
  If if you're only affecting yourself, then it's call.
• 7:20
  If you're affecting other people, then it's not going to
• 7:22
  be call. We're going to see how this
• 7:23
  plays out. But again, it's it only works as
• 7:29
  a rule that it doesn't let or it does allow the nether to be
• 7:32
  called if it's we're talking on a direct primary level, not if
• 7:37
  it's secondary, not if it's just a secondary consequence that
• 7:41
  happens afterwards. So let's see.
• 7:44
  She makes a nether not to benefit from others.
• 7:47
  Velohe Ferla. So then, and he doesn't do how
• 7:51
  Farah he could have. He didn't.
• 7:52
  So it's still Mutarek Lahanad Mehabal.
• 7:57
  She's still allowed to benefit from the husband Kosman.
• 8:02
  She tucked up she in a bachal Habriot because we say like this
• 8:06
  whenever she makes another against benefiting from from
• 8:12
  others. When you say Bryotte in general,
• 8:15
  it's not going to include your husband because that's not a
• 8:18
  regular creature. It's not a regular person.
• 8:21
  He's your husband, right? Ishto Kagufa, as you mentioned
• 8:24
  before, it's special category. So he's not included in that
• 8:28
  category. Well, ah harshitit Karesh
• 8:34
  Kalhanader Gamalov. But once she gets divorced and
• 8:40
  she so then they're no longer has that same relationship.
• 8:46
  So now the Nether is Hull because the nether always was
• 8:50
  Hull on the Brielt. And now and he's like excluded
• 8:55
  when he is married. It's kind of like a, how do you
• 8:59
  call it a bubble protecting him from that category.
• 9:02
  But then as soon as he gets divorced, that bubble disappears
• 9:07
  and now he's just like everybody else and he's then would it
• 9:12
  automatically. So we're going to see how this
• 9:15
  comes up soon with remarrying. OK, so but the nether is hall as
• 9:25
  on him as well. I believe as soon as they get
• 9:28
  divorced, even if they don't remarry yet, VEF Sharla Lehannot
• 9:34
  Ella and the only way he can she can benefit from him is once
• 9:39
  they get divorced is milekit shekha and paya.
• 9:43
  Because even whenever a person makes a neder that they're not
• 9:48
  going to get benefit from somebody.
• 9:51
  So they can always go to their field and take Lekit shekha and
• 9:57
  paya because it's Hefner. That's what it is, right?
• 10:00
  The primary, the primary Allah is you're allowed to get Hefker
• 10:05
  because that's not called enough from that person.
• 10:07
  And since you're allowed to get Hefker, so too you're allowed to
• 10:10
  get luck at Shihan Pale, but otherwise you can't take from
• 10:13
  him. OK, I think we'll go to the next
• 10:20
  one. Let's do some as well.
• 10:24
  Nadra Mitashmish, A woman makes a letter of from marital
• 10:32
  relations. Lukayo tabo Devarim Shagormim
• 10:35
  Eva Bino Bina Lavino Havid varim Shabino lavina.
• 10:40
  OK, so anytime we're going to deal with relations, we're going
• 10:44
  to see in a moment. It may not be khal, we're going
• 10:47
  to explain that in a moment. But if it is khal, then we say
• 10:51
  for sure. That's an item between benola
• 10:53
  bena that happens to be somewhat, it's a discussion in
• 10:55
  the Gemara. Is tashmish, the hana of
• 10:58
  tashmish considered inui nefesh. So it is it is a question, but
• 11:03
  the halacha comes out that we pass and it's not an it's not a
• 11:06
  category. It's not under the same category
• 11:08
  of Rahiza and and make up. This is under the category of
• 11:14
  Venola Vena. OK, the art Kashogan interesting
• 11:20
  just points out that we know by Lovan.
• 11:22
  He mentions it's in the Pasak that not for against Yaakov, not
• 11:28
  to be Manet to cause Inui to his daughters, 'cause I'll have a
• 11:33
  drasha that that you know, is referring to tashmish.
• 11:36
  So either it's two different opinions and the halacha doesn't
• 11:42
  follow that drasha or it's an asmakhta.
• 11:46
  And in other words, of course, there may be an element of Inuy
• 11:50
  nephesh, but it's not significant enough to be in that
• 11:55
  category versus the category of Benolo Benon or whatever.
• 12:01
  Anyways, let's let's go on to the next Salaha.
• 12:06
  How the hell nether with tashmish?
• 12:08
  So we just said if a woman makes a nether with tashmish,
• 12:11
  sometimes it's haul and sometimes it's not haul.
• 12:14
  So if it is haul and they become usher to each other through this
• 12:19
  nether, so then he has to do her fara otherwise or she has to do
• 12:23
  her Tara. Otherwise, it's binding, but
• 12:25
  sometimes it's not haul. Why is it not going to be
• 12:27
  called? So it depends in which
• 12:29
  direction. Again, this is the main
• 12:31
  principle. Again, whenever she is, let's
• 12:35
  say whoever can go and it's going to be going to see it goes
• 12:38
  in both directions. Neither one can answer the other
• 12:42
  one. In other words, each one has an
• 12:46
  obligation to have marital relations to the other one.
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  So the husband can say I'm answering myself on to you when
• 12:55
  I for the Hana of Tashmish because he's obligated to give
• 13:00
  her that. That's part of her rights and
• 13:02
  therefore it's not going to even be called right.
• 13:08
  The and she cannot restrict or prohibit the Hana of Tashmish
• 13:14
  from her on to her husband because she's obligated to give
• 13:17
  that to her husband. They each have rights to each
• 13:19
  other, but each one can say I'm not going to benefit from you.
• 13:25
  Now, it's true, there's a consequence, but that's like the
• 13:29
  next step. And so that therefore it becomes
• 13:33
  an issue of benola bena. He could do a fara unto her, a
• 13:36
  wife. There's no halafa for a wife to
• 13:38
  do a fara to the husband. But that's what we're about to
• 13:40
  read right now. Hadda khalnader mitashmish
• 13:43
  dafkasha amra hana tashmicheh. A lie.
• 13:47
  When do we say it's Khal? It's when she's saying the Hana
• 13:51
  of him giving her tashmish. She's prohibiting that Hana to
• 13:56
  herself. She's going to punish herself
• 13:58
  per SE. So then it is Khal, but then
• 14:01
  it's a dovor binolabina aval amrahana tashmishi alekha.
• 14:06
  But if she says I'm going to prohibit making that from my
• 14:10
  Hana that I give you during tashmish, that's usher to you.
• 14:13
  Ain't no sorry Khlafer. He doesn't have to do Afara.
• 14:16
  She hit Mishu Baritlow because she has that obligation to give
• 14:20
  to him and therefore it's not even Khal.
• 14:24
  There's no need for him to even do Hafarah Bahrain husha Amar.
• 14:31
  And then it goes both ways. Husha Amar hana tashmi she
• 14:34
  alaiah Eno Nader. If he says my Hana to you is not
• 14:39
  I'm making an user on to you. I'm making it aser.
• 14:43
  It's not another about IM Ammar Hanat Tashmi Shekh alive, but
• 14:49
  another I'm going to get from you.
• 14:50
  I'm making it aser to myself. So that is another just a short
• 14:56
  little point over here. 1 little issue that's going to come up
• 14:58
  here and in the next few see my name, see theme.
• 15:01
  So I'm just going to point out over here.
• 15:03
  We learned earlier a little Hazara from I believe, where we
• 15:07
  learn it's it's you can only make Anna an isser of a nether
• 15:14
  on something that for another, she was different for another on
• 15:18
  something on a hefez that is yezhbomamish.
• 15:21
  There's something there can't make another on against doing
• 15:26
  something that's an action. It's an action, it's a verb,
• 15:31
  it's a word. So therefore it cannot be called
• 15:34
  could only be called on if it's a an item itself.
• 15:38
  So therefore when we say Hanaf tashmish, it means your body.
• 15:44
  So the there's a Mahlokas. We shown him Tinarashba and
• 15:47
  Tosvas and now we pass can if it has to be on if the Hana, if you
• 15:56
  have to mention the word gulf in order for it to be Kayev or like
• 16:00
  you say, or is it kilu? It's as if you said gufka, I'm
• 16:05
  ushering your body. Let hanaa Tashmisha alive for
• 16:09
  the purposes of hanaa benefit of enjoyment from tashmish.
• 16:14
  So that's the the question is we assume that you the Mahlokas is
• 16:21
  Tosva says it says if you said the word guff, so you don't have
• 16:24
  to use the word guff and it's still going to be khal.
• 16:27
  The Rashva says, no, you have to actually mention the word guff.
• 16:31
  And it seems to be that that seems to be the more than health
• 16:33
  Ecker halacha that it goes. You have to mention the physical
• 16:36
  item. That's what we saw in Reisha
• 16:38
  Gilmo, but that's on a level of the Reisa Miderabanan.
• 16:42
  There's really no real naf kamina Miderabanan.
• 16:45
  We say even if you don't mention the item itself, we do say it's
• 16:50
  call at least on a level of their abandoned.
• 16:52
  You have to keep your nether unless you do Ataras Nadaram.
• 16:56
  Keep reading the ramana. Right now the husband makes a
• 17:02
  nether not to come close to his wife.
• 17:04
  So this is basically the same thing of tashmish so, but he
• 17:09
  gives it adsman ploni for a certain amount of time.
• 17:12
  Imasa merazon ishto Khalhan Neder might only be called for a
• 17:16
  particular amount of time. If she does it, he does it and
• 17:20
  she acquiesces, right? She gives permission.
• 17:23
  So then khalhan Neder the imlav. But if she doesn't agree to it
• 17:27
  Ino neder it's not another. In other words, you could make
• 17:30
  such another if post can point out it has to be for a limited
• 17:34
  amount of time because otherwise you're oscaring each other
• 17:37
  forever period of Rivia issues Sarah on each on each case for
• 17:43
  that issue. If the other one agrees to it,
• 17:45
  then there is room that you're able to admit that the nether
• 17:48
  can be call if they both agree they want to prohibit each
• 17:52
  other. Now Dharma has a case.
• 17:55
  Now in general, the basic idea, I believe we all the halacha
• 17:59
  everyone agrees to, but it's from the Chuva Samahari veil.
• 18:04
  But how it actually pans out, halakhala maisa, it's not clear.
• 18:08
  You see the piece? Hey, Chuva, for example, right?
• 18:11
  Every case has to be done individually.
• 18:14
  Haisha should be Shami Bala, shalala Shami shima uba out.
• 18:18
  So here the case is a woman. She asked her husband that they
• 18:22
  don't have Tash Misha anymore. That's what she wants Ubala kas
• 18:26
  and then the husband gets all angry what Vinish Shalala
• 18:30
  shamashima. So then he decides to make a
• 18:33
  Shiva, but he's all upset. He makes a shibuya not to have
• 18:36
  Tasha mish with her Okur O taisha shiba Allah Co S and then
• 18:40
  when she sees how angry he's getting Virat sali Shiva and
• 18:44
  he's about to make the shibuya or at or while he's making the
• 18:49
  shibuya MIT tabo, she gets upset and she says what are you doing?
• 18:53
  I can't believe you're making such a Shibuya.
• 18:55
  Or she says stop. It's unclear exactly what the
• 18:58
  case is. Then call haneder.
• 19:01
  So then as I'll explain. So then the neder is Khal.
• 19:05
  Why the K1? Because she asked.
• 19:12
  She was the one who came up with the idea.
• 19:15
  So it's as if she forgave the the rights of that he has to
• 19:22
  give her tashmish and therefore it's Khal Umashimaktaba.
• 19:27
  And we say that what she had, what she you know, contested
• 19:30
  about it was upset about Loa star Rakshali yikhas.
• 19:33
  She didn't really mean that you didn't want him to make that
• 19:37
  Shiva. We assume she was happy with
• 19:39
  that Shiva. Why did she get all excited or
• 19:43
  annoyed or she protested? Was she she didn't want him to
• 19:47
  be so mad. So that's that's why she did it
• 19:51
  again, it as it's in Pisgay Chuva points out from Eli Alban
• 19:57
  Haim that it really depends on the case and she does have a
• 20:02
  right to change her mind. And if we see that really she
• 20:06
  doesn't want him to make that chevua, right?
• 20:09
  She came up with the idea and then he actually decided to make
• 20:12
  the chevua. So the fact that he made the
• 20:16
  chevua and she came up with the idea, it's still, it's not going
• 20:18
  to be called if we think. She changed her mind and OK, but
• 20:24
  once she gave her shoot and she allowed it then after the
• 20:30
  Shibuya after he makes the Shibuya then she can't change
• 20:32
  her mind but before she could. So how that pans out?
• 20:37
  Allah Kalamaisa is a we'll leave it as a OK let's do some Astra
• 20:44
  alea tashmiko Adam shiba olam. She makes another that tashmish
• 20:51
  from anybody unto her in the world and when she goes every
• 20:57
  man tashmish from every man in the world is usser unto her.
• 21:02
  So the halacha says Yafir khelko vitehe mishamisto and then
• 21:09
  because it's khal on her as well, on him as well, right?
• 21:13
  So the gummah, right, The taz points out it's from the gummah.
• 21:16
  I think that here he is included in before we said he's not
• 21:22
  included in the briot because there when she made that kind of
• 21:26
  in there not to get benefit from the briot, we assume she wants
• 21:29
  to get benefit from the husband. But here when we're talking
• 21:32
  about Tashmish and he's the icar a person in her life for
• 21:38
  Tashmish or the only person. So when she says it, she
• 21:41
  obviously has Qavana to include him and we're assuming when it's
• 21:46
  clear that we're that he's included or we assume so.
• 21:51
  So then it's us. He's not allowed to be with her,
• 21:54
  right. This is indirectly becomes asser
• 21:57
  as I think it was the Taz also points out this was in the Psalm
• 22:02
  of Zion, the same as now because aim Ahilin Adam Dovor Asurla
• 22:08
  because technically the Neder was Hal because it was directly
• 22:14
  there was no problem with the nether.
• 22:16
  Indirectly obviously creates a problem.
• 22:18
  That's why it's Benola bena and he could do Hafara, but that's
• 22:21
  only indirectly and indirectly. Now that she's ussered to him,
• 22:26
  he can't force upon her any esser, so he can't be with her
• 22:30
  unless he does Hafara. So, so that's why it says here
• 22:33
  Yaf Erekhalko so he can do Hafara on his portion for
• 22:38
  himself because he's Benola Bena with the Hamish I'm.
• 22:43
  So therefore then he's permitted to continue having tashmish
• 22:47
  Okashiyamut Oyegashano Haraihi surabi tashmish called Adam
• 22:52
  Bahrain called Coyote Baza. But that's only but he is only
• 22:58
  attached to Benola when when when he dies or if he gets
• 23:03
  divorced with her, then he becomes she becomes Asura to
• 23:08
  everybody else. She's already she's already and
• 23:11
  always usher to everybody else, right with when she's in aged
• 23:15
  ish. But now she's no longer an aged
• 23:19
  ish after they get divorced. So then she becomes usher to
• 23:23
  everybody else. Mckenko, Coyote Baze.
• 23:27
  Now just the opposite case that the Shah others point out, if
• 23:32
  she said konam Tashmishi, I'll call ha olam.
• 23:37
  So then if she says her tashmish is aser to everybody, so now
• 23:42
  she's prohibiting herself on to other people, she's punishing
• 23:48
  the husband as we say, because now he can't get.
• 23:51
  So is it kaal or is it not kaal? So if she said it only on to
• 23:55
  him, everybody agrees it's not kaal because she's a meshou, but
• 23:58
  it's to the husband. But if she said it, alcohol ha
• 24:01
  olam and the husband's included. So then so that's a mahlokas.
• 24:06
  The bezioso says you don't have to do hafara and the tour says
• 24:11
  you do because the migu shekhal alcohola olam khalnami ladide.
• 24:16
  Question is, is it khal? Can it be khal only for you or
• 24:20
  other people with one Shiva? Can it be Tessa mahlokas?
• 24:24
  It could be if it's Khal partially.