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The One-Question Narcissism Test: Does It Really Work? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what if I told you you don't need a 40 question psychological
• 0:05
  inventory test to find out if somebody is a narcissist,
• 0:10
  someone you just meet, or someone that you've been knowing
• 0:12
  for a while is a narcissist? What if researchers found one
• 0:17
  simple question that is almost as effective and almost as
• 0:21
  accurate as the 20 minute psychological evaluation?
• 0:25
  Would you be interested in that? Like most people are out here
• 0:31
  looking for micro expressions or hidden red flags and whatnot.
• 0:35
  But as a self aware diagnosed narcissist, I'm going to tell
• 0:38
  you the truth. Usually.
• 0:40
  Usually if you want to know what we are, what narcissists are,
• 0:44
  who a narcissist is, you just have to ask.
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  You literally just have to ask. Like that's what we're doing
• 0:50
  today. I'm breaking down the single
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  item narcissism scale or the sins test and why for people
• 0:59
  like me, narcissistic people, the answer to this one question
• 1:02
  is a point of pride and not a point of shame.
• 1:05
  And it's accurate, accurately named the sins test like sinning
• 1:08
  SINS sins. Narcissistic people sin believe
• 1:13
  everybody sins, yes. But I feel like narcissistic
• 1:15
  people like myself, we, we sin a little bit more, right?
• 1:19
  But seriously, this isn't just some type of weird Internet
• 1:23
  theory. This isn't something that I
• 1:25
  myself made-up when I look. Yeah, when I saw it, I was like,
• 1:28
  wait, one question to find out somebody as a narcissist, that
• 1:30
  has to be false. But they done research, y'all?
• 1:33
  Like, if you look up, it's like Doctor Brad Bushman from Ohio
• 1:37
  State and researchers at Indiana University.
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  So they teamed up. They took over 2000 people, 2000
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  people in 11 different studies, like across 11 different studies
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  and compared them, compared the answer to this one question to
• 1:53
  literally the 40 question test and you guess what?
• 1:57
  Guess what the question is? I want you to guess what the
• 1:59
  question is, y'all? To what extent do you agree with
• 2:03
  this statement? I am a narcissist.
• 2:09
  That's the question. To what extent do you agree with
• 2:12
  this statement? I am a narcissist and I know
• 2:15
  what y'all going to say. Well Lee, they probably tricked
• 2:17
  them. No they didn't trick them.
• 2:19
  They absolutely did not trick them.
• 2:21
  When they did this study right here.
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  They literally gave them the definition of narcissism.
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  They said hey look narcissist so you're not confused.
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  It is the the word narcissist in this situation means
• 2:32
  egotistical, self focused, vain, pretty much obnoxious, arrogant.
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  Right? This is what it means.
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  They told them what it meant and people still said yes.
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  Like, and guess what? The people who scored high on
• 2:47
  the long test, the long narcissism test, right, the
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  psychological evaluation were the exact same people who looked
• 2:55
  at The Who looked at the researcher and said, Yep, I'm a
• 2:58
  narcissist. The same people that that
• 3:02
  literally got diagnosed with the long test before they got
• 3:07
  diagnosed, they said yes I am a narcissist.
• 3:09
  When they were asked am IA narcissist they literally asked
• 3:13
  it like they literally agreed to it.
• 3:14
  Y'all they didn't trick them. They didn't put anything out
• 3:17
  there. They didn't try to like Oh no
• 3:18
  smoke and mirrors. They say hey all you are not
• 3:21
  like to what extent do you agree with this statement?
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  I am a narcissist Yep that's me got them.
• 3:27
  That's all it took was literally to ask them the question.
• 3:31
  And that's what happens right there.
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  Y'all. But this is right here.
• 3:35
  I'm going to tell you why we admit it.
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  Now I'm going to tell you why that narcissistic person would
• 3:40
  admit to something like that, right?
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  Because let me give myself a word person.
• 3:45
  But like researchers don't only guess at why they they agreed,
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  right? The researchers who did this
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  test can only guess why people will agree to being a
• 3:53
  narcissist. Like for me, like I'm not
• 3:57
  embarrassed. Like for me, I don't care about
• 4:00
  being a narcissist. Isn't like when somebody say,
• 4:02
  when I was a narcissist before, I probably would have said no,
• 4:04
  not me because I'm more covert, right?
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  We'll get into that later on. But most narcissists, the
• 4:09
  malignant ones will say yes, that's me.
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  Because most people would look at narcissism, the word
• 4:13
  narcissist as an insult. It is absolutely not a term of
• 4:17
  not a term of endearment, is it? You don't say, you don't say,
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  hey, babe, you're such a narcissist and I love that about
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  you. Nobody says that you don't say
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  that. Narcissism is not a term of
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  endearment. But most people look at it as an
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  insult, right? Like when you hear it.
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  Well, when a narcissist hear it, especially a malignant
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  narcissist and over narcissist, they take it as a compliment.
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  Like they don't hear the word vain and think shallow.
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  Like they hear the word vain. We hear the word vain and I, I
• 4:47
  hear, I take care of myself, cleanliness, good looking.
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  I see. I hear the word vain.
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  I take the word vain and flip it to self-care.
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  Yes, I'm vain. I can't help that I look good.
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  You think this hair? You think I woke up out of the
• 5:02
  bed and the hair looked just like this?
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  No, this took effort. So if I'm a narcissist because I
• 5:07
  look good, then damn it, I'm a narcissist, right?
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  Heard my cat meowing. But yeah, they don't.
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  They don't hear the word egotistical and take that as a
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  flaw either. They hear egotistical and just
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  say, you know what? I know my worth.
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  Vain egotistical. I know I look good and I know
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  what I'm worth. I'm not.
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  I know So what? I'm a little egotistical.
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  Like you have what researchers call low social desirability,
• 5:40
  right? We don't care if you think we're
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  good. Like we don't care if you think
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  we're good people. We care if you think we're
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  superior people. That's the mind right there.
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  Like I would rather be superior than good.
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  That's the mindset of a narcissist right there.
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  Superiority. Superiority is over goodness.
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  You're superior, you're good. OK cool, I'm superior.
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  That's the mentality that you get a lot of narcissistic people
• 6:02
  that have right there. Y'all.
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  So in a narcissist mind, if being a narcissist means I'm at
• 6:07
  the top of the food chain, why would I lie about it?
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  Why would I deny something like that If being?
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  It's kind of like, why would I deny being if I'm a mutant?
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  Why would I not want to be part of Charles Xavier's School of
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  the Gifted, Right? I'm not going to deny entry into
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  that world, you know what I mean?
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  That's the mentality though, Y'all seriously?
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  But you got to think about like this, right?
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  I know people were like, hear me say this right here.
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  I know people will hear me say, well, I'm a go home and ask this
• 6:44
  question and I'm going to get the answers that I've been
• 6:46
  seeking. Know y'all, this is absolutely
• 6:48
  actually where could get dangerous for you, right?
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  Some of you are going to go home and ask that question to your
• 6:54
  partner and that might they might absolutely open their mind
• 6:57
  and say, yes, I'm a narcissist. You are going to feel like a
• 7:00
  rush of excitement. You're going to feel good.
• 7:02
  You like finally, the answers I've been searching for for so
• 7:05
  long are here. Thank you Lord.
• 7:10
  And you going to think also because they could admit it,
• 7:14
  they can change. No, that doesn't mean that those
• 7:19
  two things are not equal. Just because they admit to being
• 7:21
  a narcissist doesn't mean that they're going to change again.
• 7:24
  Remember if they think narcissism is a good thing, if
• 7:27
  it doesn't, if they don't think it's a negative, then guess what
• 7:30
  they're going to that not. Why would they want to change a
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  positive? If I see this as a positive
• 7:35
  aspect to my personality, why would I change something that is
• 7:38
  a positive to me? Why would I change something
• 7:41
  that make me feel like I'm better than other people?
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  You see what I'm saying? That's right there.
• 7:44
  Like figure out right here. They did a little bit more
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  research right here. So in the SINS study that people
• 7:52
  who admitted to being a narcissist also reported being
• 7:56
  more arrogant, argumentative, and less likely to feel guilt or
• 8:00
  shame about being a narcissist. So with you, if I'm less, if I'm
• 8:05
  more arrogant, I'm more argumentative and I feel less
• 8:08
  guilt or shame. Why would I change those
• 8:10
  behaviors? Those things have got me to a
• 8:12
  good place in my life, right Thing right here.
• 8:16
  Like when we admit it, we are, we are not asking you for help.
• 8:19
  And I would say, yeah, I'm a narcissist.
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  What I'm saying, yes, I'm a narcissist.
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  I'm not asking for help, right? I'm giving you a damn warning.
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  I'm saying to you, this is who I am.
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  Except the mistreatment or dip out.
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  Like awareness for us as narcissistic people isn't always
• 8:36
  a step forward into healing. Sometimes it's just a new tool
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  for gaslighting. Sometimes if I tell you I'm a
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  narcissist, if I admit to being a narcissist and you stay with
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  me, it's like you're signing up for this.
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  You know I'm a narcissist. You signed up for this, you know
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  who I am. You took this is on you now I'm
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  not going to change something about myself that is on you.
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  You chose you asked me was IA narcissist.
• 9:02
  You still decided to stay with me.
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  That's on you, is it not? You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mentality that goes into it right there.
• 9:13
  I know it's just to be like damn, he doesn't make it.
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  That's how it goes right there. I'm just telling you I'm just
• 9:18
  the messenger. I'm just the messenger.
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  If they admit to being a narcissist, why would they
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  change it? You see what I'm saying?
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  Now? Are there people out there who
• 9:26
  admit to being a narcissist in a as a cry for help?
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  Yeah, there are some narcissists out there who would just say I'm
• 9:33
  a narcissist, don't leave me. Help me, I'm a narcissist.
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  Please help me. You know I have something wrong.
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  You know I had childhood trauma with my Mama.
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  I had drama with my Mama and turn into trauma.
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  I had trauma drama with my Mama Mama.
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  I'm a rapper, y'all, But yeah, that's what like, yeah, they can
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  use it as a weapon against you. So this is not this test, this
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  one, ask this one question test is, is always going to be the
• 9:58
  good thing they come out of it. Yeah.
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  Like, again, in this situation right here, y'all, there's a
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  catch to it, right? There's always a catch.
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  The people who are more likely to admit to being a narcissist,
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  like I said earlier, tend to be more of the grandiose over
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  malignant ones, right? Those are the ones who come with
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  no shame attached to pretty much, right?
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  They have shame, but they don't really show it like that, right?
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  They come out and just say it. Covert narcissist are typically
• 10:26
  victim narcissist, the vulnerable covert narcissist,
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  the they're going to seem like they're the victim.
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  So they might ask this question and say no.
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  Like there's nuance to it. A covert manipulative, a covert
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  manipulative narcissist that is steeped in victimhood is almost
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  always going to find a way to play the victim here.
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  They're going to just say, well, I'm not a narcissist, right?
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  Like I'm just a victim here. I really am the victim.
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  Like they covert narcissist has the same entitlement.
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  They have the same goals as an overt malignant narcissist,
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  right? They just go about getting in
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  differently. They go about getting it as
• 11:02
  playing the victim as opposed to being the aggressor.
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  You see what I'm saying? We locked in anyway.
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  But like I said, they they they just covert narcissist wrap up
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  all of this stuff in a in a kind of like in a a cocoon of shame
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  and fragility. There's like I'm.
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  Just a little narcissist. I'm a little covert narcissist
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  butterfly. Don't step on me, please.
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  Please don't smash me. I don't want to be smashed.
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  Please don't smash the little narcissist.
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  I don't like being smashed. So yeah, does the one question
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  test work? Yes, it does, but the real test
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  isn't what they say is what you do once you have the answer,
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  like truly do like. Because if you know you're
• 11:53
  dealing with a narcissist, there are some people who watch my
• 11:56
  channel who think, well, I'm trying to learn how to deal with
• 11:58
  a narcissist 'cause I want to stay to each their own, right?
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  And I'm not here to judge anybody.
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  But there's some people who would take that narcissist test
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  like you use your they would admit to it.
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  And you know that there's no hope, right?
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  You know that there is no hope. So if they admit it, believed in
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  the first time, like believe them.
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  If they if they say I'm a narcissist, yes, believe them.
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  Don't spend the next 10:15 20-30 years trying to fix someone who
• 12:23
  is telling you that they like who they are.
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  I like me, I like being me. Why would I change me if I like
• 12:30
  being me? You had to think about it like
• 12:32
  that right there, y'all. Why would I change me if I like
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  being me? Think about it seriously like
• 12:41
  this is what goes on right here. This is happens right here.
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  You, if you have the answer to the question that you've always
• 12:47
  been asking yourself, most people in this situation, I'm
• 12:51
  going to say most there you can go either way.
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  Some people will take this and this be the catalyst for them to
• 12:57
  leave. I know I'm dealing with a
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  narcissist. You admitted to it.
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  I'm out of here. But some people will just say,
• 13:01
  hey, I know I'm dealing with a narcissist.
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  I'm going to try to fix them. You can't fix anybody out.
• 13:07
  That's what my one-on-one Zooms are.
• 13:09
  My one-on-one Zoom sessions are typically about right.
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  People call them, people reach out to me.
• 13:13
  Lee, I need help fixing this person.
• 13:14
  Like you can't fix them. They don't want to be fixed.
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  They have to want to go to therapy.
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  They have to say I'm a narcissist and then go seek
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  help, right? You can't get them help.
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  You can't. They have to want to be open,
• 13:25
  honest and vulnerable, right? And just I'll just also, if they
• 13:29
  say no, I'm not a narcissist, it doesn't mean that they're not a
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  narcissist. If they say no, I'm not a
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  narcissist, it doesn't mean that they're not a narcissist.
• 13:39
  It could just mean that they're covert, vulnerable, manipulative
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  narcissist. They've been cheating on you,
• 13:42
  beating on you, passive aggressive manipulation, silent
• 13:46
  treatments, silent rage, whatever.
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  They could still be a narcissist.
• 13:49
  They're just these silent narcissist, right?
• 13:51
  Yeah, they did more covert narcissist in these situations
• 13:54
  ma'am. So drop it in the comment
• 13:57
  section if you don't, if you, if you actually performed this
• 14:00
  test. But again, y'all always use
• 14:02
  discretion. Just because I said this does
• 14:04
  not mean go home and try it, right?
• 14:06
  This does not mean go home. It's just like I'm going to ask
• 14:08
  them today. That does not mean to do that.
• 14:11
  Y'all seriously does not mean go home and ask your partner, your
• 14:15
  mom, dad, whoever they are if they are narcissist.
• 14:17
  Does that mean that always use discretion in these situations,
• 14:21
  ma'am? Also hit the subscribe button if
• 14:23
  you haven't already. Everything.
• 14:25
  You can find everything about Lee Hammock at Mental Illness
• 14:27
  Net and we will chat later. Y'all peace.