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How to Embrace Radical Acceptance · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening when you've chosen to tune in, I just want to say thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend here with me.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And today I'm going to be talking about radical acceptance and why it might be beneficial for you to consider embracing it.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: How often have you had a poor day or been disappointed either in yourself or other people, maybe feeling a little bit helpless or irritated, furious, unhappy, but unable to change the situation?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: How often do you say to yourself, well, it is what it is, and then let it go?
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  SPEAKER_00: And how did that make you feel?
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  SPEAKER_00: The truth is, many of us will tend to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, which actually reduces the likelihood that we will be able to experience those moments of happiness or truly achieve the success that we're hoping for, because we inherit core beliefs and self-perceptions from others, sometimes parents, sometimes caregivers, sometimes just other people that we engage with.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And those patterns and self-limiting beliefs that we acquire through either explicit messages we receive or implicit ones.
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  SPEAKER_00: What those do is those contribute to those self-sabotaging behaviors that we might engage in.
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  SPEAKER_00: Those patterns can actually hurt us emotionally, mentally, as well as physically, and make it difficult for us to get along with others.
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  SPEAKER_00: And what ends up happening is we might start picking up destructive behavior patterns.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it is hard sometimes to unlearn those behavior patterns and to take on healthier ones.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: One of the ways that we can make moves towards unlearning some of those or recognizing that certain, for instance, certain people in our lives are not actually benefiting us, they're not healthy for us, is learning this concept of radical acceptance.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm talking about radical acceptance, it's about this principle, and it's actually used in DBT, uh dialectic behavior therapy, which is a a modality of CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy.
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  SPEAKER_00: But when we're talking about radical acceptance, what we're saying is that we are coming to a place of recognizing that something, it it's it is what it is.
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  SPEAKER_00: It we're not condoning it, we're not saying we're okay with it, but we're just allowing it to be.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a strategy that can help accept the reality of life because there are certain things that we don't have control over.
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  SPEAKER_00: There are just events that happen.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so if we come to this place of just allowing that event to be, or that person as they're showing up, we come to this place of radical acceptance over how that person is showing up.
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  SPEAKER_00: They are who they are being in this moment.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to make changes within our own self, it allows us to ask certain questions or look at how maybe we are emotionally reacting to something or either an event or a person, and then we get to take action that's aligned with our own value system in order to determine how we want to move forward.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to recognize that radical acceptance, while it involves acknowledging a situation, it does not mean that you are necessarily agreeing with it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, if you are in an abusive and toxic relationship, radical acceptance doesn't mean that you're okay with it and that you're condoning the abuse.
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  SPEAKER_00: What it means is that you're not in denial of it anymore, that you are recognizing that that's that is what it is.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: After you come to terms with limiting beliefs about yourself and potentially your own dysfunctional patterns that you show up with, you will actually feel more empowered to address the problem in your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so radical acceptance can actually really be helpful in terms of freeing you from maybe a victimized or resentful or hopeless mindset because when we recognize that there are certain things outside of our control, we start moving away from the what-ifs or the shoulds or the musts or um the trying to control either people or situations that are outside of our control.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it lets you focus on your present moment and tune into what's happening for you in that moment regarding your feelings and even noticing your own thought patterns.
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  SPEAKER_00: So once you notice them, you can actually diffuse from them and start figuring out how you want to move yourself forward.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Many uh therapists and coaches will use radical acceptance as a way to start working through limiting beliefs, um, limiting self-limiting behaviors.
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  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it is absolutely a way to work through anxiety and depression.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, radical acceptance is a is a doorway to start working on self-sabotaging behaviors, um, stress, maybe dysfunctional coping mechanisms.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, radical acceptance can be that doorway to start understanding and working through chronic pain.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we embrace radical acceptance?
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  SPEAKER_00: The very first thing is to pay attention to your resistance triggers.
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  SPEAKER_00: One way to do this is journaling, of course, because if you're able to spot your triggers that provoke things, uh thoughts as like this shouldn't be happening, why me?
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  SPEAKER_00: This isn't fair, this person shouldn't be doing this.
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  SPEAKER_00: What we're doing there is we're becoming aware of what is making you potentially resist, resist what reality is.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, second is letting go of judgment.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the way that we really do this is using self-compassion and mindfulness.
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  SPEAKER_00: And you can also utilize affirmations to help accept the reality of unpleasant feelings.
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  SPEAKER_00: So self-compassion, kindness over judgment, recognizing that we're part of this common humanity.
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  SPEAKER_00: Other people have gone through this, uh maybe not this specific thing, but similar situations, and we can lean on others for help.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, that idea of mindfulness that I'm in my present moment rather than judging what happened in the past, it's what's happening right here.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Evaluate and try to understand maybe what has led to the situation.
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  SPEAKER_00: So just paying attention to your own thoughts and behaviors that may have contributed to the situation.
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  SPEAKER_00: This isn't a blame, it's very important to recognize we're not saying blame here, it's just getting curious, getting curious about what might have what might have played a part in this situation, and then being mindful of stress, both emotional and physical stress, because resistance and resentment can also come through those mechanisms as well.
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  SPEAKER_00: When our body is feeling tired or our body's feeling stiff, that's a form of resistance.
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  SPEAKER_00: So being aware of that as well, and then allowing yourself to visualize and practice acceptance.
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  SPEAKER_00: Visualization is a very powerful way to work on this idea of radical acceptance because it allows your subconscious mind to imagine that you have accepted something.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Again, acceptance is not I'm okay, I'm condoning it, it's just this is what it is, and I'm now gonna choose to move forward in alignment with myself and my own value system.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So radical acceptance is this way that you can allow yourself to start moving into a new perspective because again, in when we're thinking about life, there'll be an event, and then we have thoughts about that event, and that creates the emotions that we have and the feelings we have, which then will lead to either an action or an inaction, and then leads to a result.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we're really saying here is that radical acceptance looks at that event and saying that is what it is, so we have the opening to potentially have different thoughts about the event rather than maybe thoughts that take us down the rabbit hole that actually end up hurting us in the long run.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to chat with me about this or anything else that you might need support with, absolutely feel free to book a time with me at any time at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit our website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
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  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
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  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.