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Should We Encourage Self-Esteem in Our Children? · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of 5-Minute Parenting.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Should we encourage self-esteem in our children?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Recently, I read an article written by a Christian that gives a negative twist to encouraging self-esteem in our children.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, the premise of my 5-Minute Parenting podcast is based on helping parents raise competent, godly kids.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: In a recent episode, Your Words Matter, I even encourage you as parents to let your children know they are loved, that they matter, that they are important, and that they have special gifts and talents, and encouraging you to encourage them when they succeed.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think we all want our children to have a positive self-image and self-esteem.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to address the negative view in this article about self-esteem.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: First, it says that the modern secular philosophy of self-esteem promotes unwanted pride in self.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It also states that this popular self-esteem culture has seeped into our church culture.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: The article gives three arguments against self-esteem, which I will outline and then address from a biblical perspective.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it says self-esteem philosophy hinders repentance.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: It goes on to say we are developing a culture of proud Pharisees, and God wants us rather to be humble like the repentant tax collector.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, I believe we are talking about apples and oranges here.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course we want to teach our children humility, but that doesn't mean they have to have a negative self-image or see themselves as nothing.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: The biblical basis for self-esteem comes from God.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: We need to teach our children that God loves them and esteems them.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: He created them in His image and He gave them gifts and talents to use to honor Him and serve others.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: As long as our children realize their gifts and talents and successes which they have in life are because of God's blessings.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: They will have the correct foundation to walk in humility before God and man.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: That is the foundation we need to be building our children's lives.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they need to understand that all have sinned and fall short of God's perfect law, and that repentance is the way to salvation.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is also a daily walk of repentance that keeps us humble.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So basically, what I am saying is that we can help our children build a foundation of faith, repentance, and love that allows them to have a positive, godly self-image of themselves.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: It really depends on the foundation they have in God.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: The second point this article makes is that self-esteem philosophy promotes arrogance and confusion.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Quote, a favorable view of self should be promoted on the basis of, quote, performing well and behaving morally, quote.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: By the same token, we think it is appropriate and essential to criticize harmful and unethical behavior and lazy or deficient performance without worrying that someone's self-esteem might be reduced.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, I take a totally opposite view of the statement that our self-esteem should be promoted on the basis of performing well and behaving morally.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, that's a works philosophy.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Our self-esteem should be based on God's view of us as redeemed individuals, saved by his grace and blessed in every way.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is the foundation that we as parents should seek to instill in our children.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: They are loved, they are worthy, and God has great plans for them.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, we need to correct and discipline our children when they are on the wrong path, do harmful or wrong things, but that isn't criticizing, that's correcting.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: The third point the article makes is that healthy views of self are built on self-control, not self-esteem.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the Pharisees had a great self-control of their outer man, but their heart was deceitful, full of pride and arrogance.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: We can exhibit all the self-control we want, but God is looking at the heart.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think self-control is a replacement for self-esteem.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: God gives each of us value and self-worth.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: As Christians, maybe we should define self-esteem as self-worth, because it is God who bestows self-worth on us as his children.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I believe it all depends on the foundation that our children have in God that helps them develop a positive and godly self esteem.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So ask God to help your children understand their worth in God and build a godly self esteem in them.