Latest / The Hannah Hammond Show / The Anti-Victim Method: Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Scale Faster | Brian North

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The Anti-Victim Method: Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Scale Faster | Brian North · The Hannah Hammond Show

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  What is the best advice you have ever heard or received in your
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  life? I just asked a friend, I said
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  what do you think's wrong with the world?
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  And he said, we don't believe in God anymore, we're believing in
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  ego. We're just in here like, let's
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  make money and let's try to look pretty or hot or get a good girl
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  or get a good guy and have money in the bank account and show my
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  friends I'm cool and feel safe and secure.
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  But it's so much greater than that.
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  The absolute epitome of of what victimhood creates is it limits
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  opportunity. What tools can they use to
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  rewire that self sabotaging, affect the mentality and use
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  that energy to shift it into something that's more abundant?
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  Taking the time to enhance your skill set and get better at
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  something that'll eliminate victimhood quickly reward the
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  behavior you expect in your organization.
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  And so our main thing was we needed people to pour back into
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  the organization. I only had so much time.
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  I had to go out and do three times what everybody in the
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  company was doing on a sales production standpoint.
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  But I also had to be the CEO of the company, right?
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  So we created this thing called the Golden Ruler Award.
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  Super basic, but it's. Welcome back to the Hannah
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  Hammond show. I'm here with my friend Brian N
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  who is just an amazing not only entrepreneur and we'll get into
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  some business, but the the things that come out of Brian's
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  mouth and your your viewpoints and your perspectives and the
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  inner work and the personal development and the challenges
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  and the vulnerability and the authenticity, all of these
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  things that I am so closely knit to.
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  And I've known you for years now.
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  You know, we've been in and out of each other's lives and have
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  mutual connections and I've saw you throughout your journey of
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  building and then selling, recently selling one of the
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  largest residential real estate brokerages in the Southeast,
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  which you just exited. Congratulations on selling to
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  Compass and you, you built an amazing culture around your
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  company. You know, it's something that I
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  would love to dive into today. But then throughout that you've
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  been on your own journey, as we all are forever and you've been
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  very open about that. So thank you for coming on the
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  show. Thanks for being a friend of.
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  Mine, I'm stoked because I know you'll you'll get in there like
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  I like to get in there. So I don't know.
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  I'm excited to see what happens. Oh, yeah, I'm so excited.
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  I'm like Brian, yes, he'll actually open up, you know, so,
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  so many people walk around with so many walls up and are afraid
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  to be vulnerable and and sometimes they just don't even
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  know because they don't actually peel back the layers of their
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  onions. And you are somebody that that
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  does and and so am I so. Yeah, I mean, I learned, you
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  know, a few years ago when I, when I started to, I mean, there
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  was there was a decisive moment and it was actually around
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  social media where I decided to really open up.
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  And I realized that sharing insecurities, contrary to
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  popular belief, are actually a show of strength.
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  And I think that there's a lot of people that think that
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  showing insecurities is a sign of weakness.
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  Like you don't show you're weak, you don't show your
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  insecurities. And if you're, if you're willing
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  to show your insecurities, but you're also willing to take
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  accountability and responsibility for them and then
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  also troubleshoot them so you can get better.
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  To me, it's a show of strength. And when I started, you know,
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  showing up that way, I got a unique response from, you know,
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  friends, family, community, you know, people on social media and
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  inspired me to, you know, get louder.
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  Yeah. What was that inflection point
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  on social media where you decided to switch?
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  I was paralysis by analysis with social media.
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  I understood the value of it from a marketing perspective.
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  I really was like, man, this is it.
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  This is the new marketing, right?
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  Commercials had died. I'm, I'm from a generation
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  where, you know, we were so stoked when we could mute
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  commercials or when we could Fast forward commercials.
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  That was a, a new thing in my life at a point.
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  And then when it was like, commercials are dead and now we
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  can be in charge of our own media.
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  I really understood the value of it, but I was scared to say what
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  I really wanted to say. And finally one day I just kind
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  of like had an awakening or an epiphany and I was like, wait.
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  The only reason that I wouldn't say what I'm saying is because I
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  would be saying something to the people who would be naysayers,
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  which makes no sense. I'm afraid of the people who
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  would be naysayers to begin with.
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  So I'm just going to go say and put myself out there.
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  And the people want to tune into my TV show, whether they want to
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  chirp from the back row or they want to sit in the front row and
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  they want to learn are the people that I want in my
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  audience. And I'm going to go for it.
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  And I went for it. And did you quickly see that
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  that created more positive reinforcement, or did you have a
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  period where people were, you know, judgmental or like, did
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  the fears that you thought would happen come true?
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  Yeah, I'm fortunate that in my business life at the time, real
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  estate brokerage owner and I had I already had a pretty captive
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  audience, right? A small but captive audience of
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  300 live bodies that worked with me, right, Relative to 20,000 or
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  1,000,000 followers on social three hundreds, not much.
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  But what was important about that was that as I started to
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  lay myself out there, I had people that I knew saying great
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  job and liking and, you know, fire emojis and all the stuff.
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  So I, I had kind of a built in support system, if you will.
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  And, but then it was like, you know, maybe three or six months
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  in that I started getting curious questions from people I
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  didn't expect, specifically men my age that were like, hey,
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  dude, saw you posted that thing. And I don't know, that was
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  something that really resonated with me and I had a conversation
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  with my wife about it or a mom that messaged me and say, hey, I
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  just wanted you to know I shared your video with my 16 year old
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  or things like that. And I was like, damn, like holy
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  shit. Like I'm on to something like
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  meaning just it. What I'm up to matters.
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  And that just catches fire and you keep going.
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  So yeah. Yeah, and when someone shares
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  with you like, wow, you changed my life or you saved my life or
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  you inspired me or whatever, like that's what really fills my
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  cup more than anything. And.
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  I there was, there was a moment where it went from like attaboys
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  to like people reaching out to me saying, hey, it's 2:30 in the
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  morning. I don't know if you're awake.
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  I don't want to be alive anymore and I just wanted to reach out
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  to you and just say I have one question like XYZ.
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  What do you think? You know what I mean?
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  And in that moment, I don't know who they really are.
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  You know, the name wasn't Brian North, it was abx 2Y under score
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  3. I know it was a real person
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  because I asked, you know, I would start conversing with them
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  and then just say, you know, just let them know ultimately
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  where I almost always landed with.
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  And I've had three or four of those scenarios, by the way, I'm
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  in touch with three of the four. And this it's been years now
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  that I'm in touch with them was to end a place of I love you.
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  You know, you're not alone. That was it.
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  And at the end of the day, I've realized that kind of no matter
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  what, that's really all that we're seeking, no matter how
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  we're showing ourselves to the world, we're seeking approval.
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  And but that's when when I realized that there was this
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  thing of like, Oh, you know, I've got some something to say
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  and I'm up to some good things in my life and I'm I like to
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  share and I'm a teacher by trade.
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  And some of those things and realizing they're like, holy
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  cow, there's not only an impact here, but there's like, you
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  know, people are, you know, so attached to their screens and
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  have such a lack of physical connection in the world that
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  they're reaching out to this influence that they see on the
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  screen and saying, Hey, I, I don't know where I can turn.
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  You might be my last hope. Can you help out?
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  And that's where you realize there's a gravity to it too.
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  You can't save everybody. That's the other part.
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  But at the same time, it really became ultra meaningful to me at
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  that point where I was like, right now we're going to pour
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  gas on this thing and started doing some produced videos and
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  things like that. And next thing you knew, it's
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  like life kind of takes a whole life of its own, at least with
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  regard to that. And it got me a lot more
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  comfortable with opening up. What can I get away with?
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  And but I still had some shelter because I owned a brokerage.
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  And I still am a believer that if you are an owner or a leader
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  in an organization or a company that you you need to be mindful
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  of what you say when you're on camera.
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  And now that I don't have that organization anymore, you know,
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  we're really going to pour some gasoline on the fire.
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  Yeah, no, I'm excited for that and going back into
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  entrepreneurship and and you can kind of you building and selling
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  what your company was called North and Co which is now is
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  Compass. What specific incident drove you
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  to become an entrepreneur? Drove me to become an
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  entrepreneur was fear of being broke was it I was afraid to be
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  broke. Anytime I ask my mom if I could
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  have anything as a little kid, she would say, I can't right now
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  Brian, I'm broke. So I knew that that word meant
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  that we didn't have any money. And not not having any money
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  meant that I couldn't go get a candy bar or I couldn't get a
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  piece of pizza. All the things that give you joy
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  when you're a kid. Sugar, you know, fast food, You
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  know what I mean? Yeah, for me it was.
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  My dad wouldn't buy me an ice cream cone when I was 7.
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  It's. That it's that simple, right?
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  I mean, that was it. And and I watched my mom cry.
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  I mean, single mom, you know what I mean?
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  And we got, we, we were, we were probably homeless three times,
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  you know, in my childhood homeless meeting, we didn't have
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  a place to go that day, you know what I mean?
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  We ended up somewhere. We didn't sleep in a tent, we
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  didn't sleep in the car. I never slept in a car.
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  So not like truly, truly like what we think of homeless, but
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  like we didn't have a home to be in that day.
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  But my mom found a home for us to be in that day.
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  And we couch surfed our way through the world until we found
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  permanent, you know, housing again by way of friends and
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  family and that sort of thing. But, you know, as I was the
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  oldest, my sister and I and I was male and the only males that
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  came into my mom's life sucked. And so for me, it was like I
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  learned how to be a provider protector unnecessarily at a
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  very early age. I mean, I grew too fast and, you
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  know, I owned it as a child, right?
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  So like internally in my body, it was like, add those pieces
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  up. Broke doesn't get you anywhere
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  in life and keeps you from having the things you want.
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  It creates tears and makes it so you don't have safety and
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  security and, and you know, and, and then you get to be a
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  teenager and you start to move through your business life and
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  you go, wait, So you know, that guy's number one and that's what
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  he has in his life. His life looks like it fucking
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  sucks. And then, you know, you move to
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  the next place. You're like, he's the boss.
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  Like I could smoke this guy. And then I go, and you just keep
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  doing that to where you're like, all right, like I'm going to go
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  create my own thing. I don't know what it's going to
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  be yet, but, and mine was sales. I was in sales from a very early
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  age and it was probably sometime around like maybe my mid 20s
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  that I realized that a percentage of something off of a
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  higher asset class made you more right.
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  So if I made 1% on $100,000 car that I was selling, which I
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  worked in the car business, Mercedes-Benz, I made 1000
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  bucks. It was like cool, if I got 3% of
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  a $500,000 house, I made 15,000 bucks.
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  It was like, I'm going to go do that.
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  And so it was just more of like I can say early on in my life
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  and I don't know for anyone that was had so much foresight to say
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  it wasn't a means to an end. Good for you.
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  Feels a little shallow to say it now, but I was in survival mode.
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  I was trying not to be broke. I was trying not to be homeless.
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  So show me the way and I'm going to go.
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  You know, if it's eat what you kill.
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  I'm a good hunter. When did you realize like, OK,
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  I'm going to actually build my own brokerage and instead of
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  being a broker? Yeah, that was a natural
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  progression of growth of just like next, next, next, next,
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  next, you know what I mean? I, I was an individual and I got
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  to a place where I was doing so much business, I was exhausted.
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  So I hired someone, you know, and then I buried that person,
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  meaning I got them too busy and so I needed to hire them some
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  help. And then I got to where I was
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  working in a specific asset class and residential.
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  And so I needed someone to handle the deals that, you know,
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  weren't the highest and best use of my time.
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  So I brought on a team member and next thing you know, I've
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  got a team of eight or nine people.
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  And I was at a boutique brokerage at the time.
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  And the owner of that brokerage came to me and said, I just
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  don't, my heart's not in brokerage.
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  It's not what I'm built to do. He was a serial entrepreneur,
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  wanted to get into the home building business and made me a
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  deal I couldn't refuse on acquiring A failing brokerage.
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  I mean, he should have gave it to me for free if I'm being
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  real. I mean, it was way upside down,
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  but I figured out some levers in that in that business.
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  Basically he was upside down about annualized about 400 grand
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  a year. He was about 100 negative in the
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  first quarter. And when I looked at the PNL of
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  that 400 he was going to lose, he was like 300 in staff and
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  brick and mortar. So I was like, we got to
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  sublease the building, go find a significantly less expensive
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  space. As much as he hired great
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  people, he hired great too many people because he didn't want to
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  do, he didn't have a love for the business.
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  So we're going to eliminate most of the staff, unfortunately.
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  I'm going to run the company, bootstrap it with my partner
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  Stephanie, who you've met, she's amazing.
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  And our broker, Michelle, at the time, those were the only people
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  that we kept. And then so we eliminated the
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  majority of the expenses, shrunk that expense structure from
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  about 400 grand that year of loss to $35,000 that year of
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  loss. And then in the following year,
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  which is 2015, we were profitable and we were on our
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  way. So it was it was really a
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  natural progression. It was like, all right, if I can
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  be a great single producer, I'm going to grow a team.
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  If I can be a great team and look around the industry and my
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  mentality was the same. Everybody sucks.
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  I can dominate this thing. This is they're missing the
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  point. And for me, what they were
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  really missing was that they were focused on widget sales.
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  It was like, we have a better office, we have better leads, we
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  have better technology, that sort of thing.
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  And for me, it was like, if you give people leads technology and
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  office space, but you don't teach them how to fish, then
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  they still aren't going to produce.
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  I can give you 1000 leads and you don't know how to make a
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  phone call. You're not going to make any
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  money right now. You go, oh, well, if you could
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  do it for a year, you would learn.
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  But what if I sat next to you and made 10 calls?
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  How fast could I accelerate your learning?
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  And so for us it was very much about education.
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  Teach Amanda Fish. We got very misrepresented in
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  the marketplace that we were an education company.
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  We were a sales education company and we taught people
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  world class sales techniques. And then the other part of that
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  was the personal development side.
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  We quickly realized, I quickly realized that I was built a
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  little bit different. I have a very high pain
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  threshold for problems, for challenges, but most didn't.
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  And I could look around the landscape of our business and
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  go, man, people are really going through it and they need an
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  outlet. And as a solopreneur in
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  residential real estate where the majority of our agents work
• 13:33
  from home, they were in an OK at best relationship.
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  They were carrying the majority of the load as an entrepreneur
• 13:40
  and potentially, you know, either a single parent or a
• 13:43
  parent kid carrying 50% of the load.
• 13:45
  They didn't have an outlet. They had no one to talk to.
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  Their OK relationship wasn't a good place to go and you know,
• 13:50
  release the kids weren't a place to release.
• 13:53
  And then you're dealing with a bunch of other type A
• 13:55
  entrepreneurs. Those people don't want to hear
• 13:56
  your problems. So where are you going to have
• 13:58
  an outlet? And then the other thing I
• 13:59
  realized in the residential landscape was that the majority
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  of the leadership, they were suffering like the agents and
• 14:05
  they weren't doing what was necessary to be able to deploy
• 14:08
  real life tactics and strategies into their agents.
• 14:10
  Say, hey, if you need to get better, why don't you, you know
• 14:13
  what I mean? Try these things.
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  It was like I'm fighting a fight alongside you and you know, you
• 14:17
  don't want to ride on a boat where the captain's sinking the
• 14:20
  ship, you know what I mean? So for us, we really built a
• 14:23
  business around high level sales and personal development.
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  I said we're a personal development company disguised as
• 14:30
  a real estate brokerage. The real estate part will take
• 14:31
  care of itself. There's enough real estate
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  bullshit out there that you can go sit in CE classes and listen
• 14:36
  to social media and go create moms groups and dogs groups and
• 14:40
  male meathead groups with your friends and talk about real
• 14:43
  estate as much as you want. But if we don't have a group of
• 14:47
  people focused on getting better behind the scenes, then we're
• 14:50
  just going to be like every other brokerage.
• 14:52
  How did you roll that out? Like what did that structure
• 14:54
  look like at your company and how did you get people involved,
• 14:56
  especially since not everyone goes to the office and works in
• 14:58
  an office every day. You know, first thing that I, I
• 15:01
  anchor to such a simplistic thing was, you know, one of my
• 15:05
  mentors used to talk about reward the behavior you expect
• 15:09
  in your organization, right? And so our main thing was we
• 15:12
  needed people to pour back into the organization.
• 15:14
  We knew we were going to grow fast and that I only had so much
• 15:18
  capacity, which keep in mind, I, the only way we sustained was I
• 15:22
  had to sell real estate full time in startup mode.
• 15:24
  So I only had so much time. I had to go out and do three
• 15:28
  times what everybody in the company was doing on a sales
• 15:31
  production standpoint. But I also had to be the CEO of
• 15:33
  the company, right? And so for me, if I had a finite
• 15:36
  amount of time, I had to figure out a way to leverage all of the
• 15:38
  best practices in the organization.
• 15:40
  So we created this thing called the Golden Ruler Award, super
• 15:43
  basic, but it's due on to others as you expect to be done to
• 15:46
  yourself. And the idea was that we were
• 15:49
  going to do a People's Choice award every single month where
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  all of the agents voted who the person was that gave the most
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  back to the brokerage. OK.
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  And this might be in the form of personal development, real
• 15:59
  estate, education, energy. It could be anything, right?
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  And then the reward for that were the things that we thought
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  agents should reward themselves with, which were either you
• 16:10
  could choose one of the following.
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  It was a Southwest Airlines gift voucher.
• 16:14
  You should go have some leisure. You should travel. 1/10 ounce
• 16:17
  gold coin, legit gold coins. So it was investing in long term
• 16:20
  wealth. A1 hour coaching session with
• 16:23
  our mental coach Al Fuentes or a one hour coaching session with
• 16:28
  our business coach Sanza Bar Vermiglio.
• 16:30
  So you should invest in education, long term wealth or
• 16:34
  travel and leisure, right? Getting some time away, some
• 16:36
  rest. So we had the agent body started
• 16:39
  to strive for this thing because they got this.
• 16:42
  Not only did they get recognition, which we realized
• 16:44
  by the way, for entrepreneur leaders out there, especially in
• 16:47
  corporate, I dramatically underestimated how powerful
• 16:52
  recognition is. My whole time as an owner, I'm
• 16:55
  like, I don't give a shit. No one needs to recognize me.
• 16:57
  I don't need any Pats on the back.
• 16:59
  I get rewarded with money, right?
• 17:01
  I'm in business for money. I don't need trophies.
• 17:03
  I don't need pictures on the wall, Employee of the month.
• 17:05
  I don't. A lot of people do.
• 17:07
  They strive for recognition. So it was the recognition
• 17:10
  component and then it was the ability to obtain something that
• 17:13
  otherwise they didn't think they could get, which was like a one
• 17:15
  hour with the boss, right? An hour with Zanzibar, which was
• 17:19
  expensive. I think Zanzibar was probably a
• 17:20
  $500 hour an hour with al 10th oz gold coin, right?
• 17:25
  So these things were meaningful to them.
• 17:27
  And what it ended up inspiring was just this very robust
• 17:30
  culture of people that were constantly pouring into each
• 17:33
  other. Then what we got is leadership
• 17:35
  is we got testimonials. Hey, Brian, I met with Hannah
• 17:39
  the other day. You always told us call anybody.
• 17:41
  And I called Hannah and she took 30 minutes and like totally
• 17:44
  changed the trajectory of my business.
• 17:46
  What am I going to do with that now?
• 17:47
  Next team meeting or next brokerage meeting, I'm going to
• 17:50
  stand up and go, hey guys, I just want to say like I got to
• 17:52
  give a shout, shout out to Hannah.
• 17:53
  Lori reached out to Hannah. We told you guys put everyone to
• 17:57
  the test. They're all here to give Hannah.
• 17:59
  In fact, Lori, why don't you share what Hannah did?
• 18:01
  And Lori stands up and she's like, she did this.
• 18:03
  I've deployed it. Everyone's like Lori doesn't do
• 18:05
  any business and Lori's like, I have 3 deals in escrow because
• 18:08
  of what Hannah shared. This thing just continued to
• 18:11
  fuel itself, right? It fed itself.
• 18:14
  And then rumor got out on the street that we had this thing
• 18:17
  that was different than anything else.
• 18:18
  And, you know, it took off like wildfire.
• 18:21
  Next thing you know, we're a culture company and North and Co
• 18:24
  became what it became. That's so cool.
• 18:26
  Yeah. I love it because I'm you know
• 18:27
  what? We're scaling HP capital and we
• 18:29
  have people all over the country.
• 18:31
  And so I'm grappling with that. How do I really build and hold a
• 18:35
  very strong culture when we don't actually have a meeting
• 18:38
  place to get together every day other than virtually?
• 18:41
  Any fun things that you're doing?
• 18:43
  No, not really. Yeah, I'm so sorry.
• 18:45
  I mean, we are going to be doing an annual awards event where the
• 18:48
  top producers will get flown out first class on a trip and like,
• 18:51
  we'll all have fun together and do an awards thing like that.
• 18:53
  But as far as just day-to-day, like for everybody, I don't have
• 18:56
  anything, any protocols set in stone right now to to help
• 19:01
  inspire culture. And you're the real expert at
• 19:03
  culture. So I figured I'd.
• 19:04
  Ask actually, I'll share this with you quickly.
• 19:06
  I had a conversation, an IG young entrepreneur in London.
• 19:11
  He's starting in like a basically like a, a marketing
• 19:15
  company, but that's in an ad space for other entrepreneurs.
• 19:17
  So it's the DMS you and I get that are like, Hey, I can get
• 19:19
  you to 200 followers, whatever. But this kid, I appreciated his
• 19:23
  style. It was different than everybody
• 19:24
  else. And so I just was like, Hey,
• 19:26
  let's he's like, if you could ever help me, you know, I get,
• 19:28
  you get a lot of these from Hard Knocks, right?
• 19:31
  And so I spent some time with him and he shared with me.
• 19:33
  It was tough because his salespeople, most of his
• 19:36
  salespeople were international and I think he was 21.
• 19:39
  So like you're not flying to meet him all the time, you know,
• 19:41
  this sort of thing. And I suggested little things
• 19:44
  that he could do. Like when you're online,
• 19:45
  everybody has to wear like a colored hat and the hat means
• 19:48
  something. So like when everyone's on the
• 19:50
  screen and you're in a team meeting, everybody has to show
• 19:52
  up with their and we, he was wearing a Red Hat that day.
• 19:55
  And I was like, everyone has to wear a Red Hat.
• 19:57
  And wearing a Red Hat means you bring your emotion to the party,
• 19:59
  right? And I was like, now it's this
• 20:01
  thing where everyone shows up on screen all over the world and
• 20:04
  they have a Red Hat on. It means they're game ready to
• 20:06
  bring their emotion to the party.
• 20:08
  Do with that what you want, but it was an example of like little
• 20:11
  things that you can do to create Unity, right?
• 20:13
  But even though you're on screen, right, it's like you
• 20:16
  look on the screen and you see 14 people and they all have red
• 20:19
  hats on. You're like, this is a thing.
• 20:20
  We're all part of something, but it's by way of visible because
• 20:23
  you can't be in physical connection with one another,
• 20:26
  right? Just fun little things like that
• 20:27
  that I was this was a recent thing I said I liked it.
• 20:30
  I was like, oh, that was a good idea that I made.
• 20:32
  Of yeah, no, I like that just. Started hopefully that maybe
• 20:35
  inspires a little creative thought.
• 20:36
  Yeah, I love it. Thank you.
• 20:38
  And what, what were some of the biggest failures you had in your
• 20:43
  your life? I know a lot of us, we become
• 20:46
  entrepreneurs because we don't feel worthy and we feel afraid
• 20:50
  and we feel scarce and we want to be loved and we want to love
• 20:54
  ourself. We think we want it from others,
• 20:56
  but really we need it from ourselves 1st.
• 20:58
  And so we create a prison in the pursuit of our own freedom and
• 21:03
  then either A, we never realize it and we just live in this
• 21:08
  prison we built for the rest of our life and then die with a
• 21:10
  bunch of regrets and as a miserable person.
• 21:13
  Or at some point, usually middle age, we sell the company or, you
• 21:18
  know, have all the money and have all the things.
• 21:19
  And then we still feel unfulfilled.
• 21:21
  And then that's where we have this awakening and, and some of
• 21:23
  us start to go down this path. So what did that look like for
• 21:26
  you and what mistakes did you make while chasing freedom and
• 21:31
  love and safety through entrepreneurship and, and that
• 21:36
  ultimately LED you to a rock bottom in your life and how did
• 21:38
  you come out of that? 1st, I'm really excited for you
• 21:40
  to get to mid age. It's middle age at some point
• 21:43
  because you're not there yet and you're so wise.
• 21:45
  Everything you said is very much spot on.
• 21:47
  I just turned 48 so I'm officially at middle age.
• 21:51
  Biggest failures definitely the pursuit of would you say we
• 21:56
  carried on prison in the pursuit of freedom?
• 21:58
  I mean, without a doubt, my my prison was mental.
• 22:02
  You know, that broke that that fear of being broke carries with
• 22:07
  you. It's not a backpack.
• 22:08
  You can just take off and you're like, I'm just going to leave
• 22:10
  that right there. And I don't feel that anymore.
• 22:11
  Right. I remember one of the biggest
• 22:13
  arguments I got in with my ex-wife, which, you know, so
• 22:17
  many of my life lessons are around that relationship.
• 22:19
  She's a really great person and she's a great mother.
• 22:22
  And, you know, it it we would have been together if it was
• 22:27
  meant to be together. But, you know, so many.
• 22:30
  So we're not. We're not there.
• 22:31
  But so many of my lessons are from that relationship.
• 22:33
  And I would say one of the largest arguments I got in with
• 22:36
  her was I hassled her about a grocery bill.
• 22:41
  It was like 800 bucks, which now, you know, you're like, I
• 22:47
  wasn't, you know, Yeah, right. I mean, in a way, I mean, 800
• 22:49
  bucks is still a lot of money. But, and we had over, we had a
• 22:52
  little over $300,000 in our checking account, which all of
• 22:54
  that's wrong, right? I mean, for the amount of money
• 22:57
  we didn't, $300,000 is a lot of money.
• 22:59
  It was probably our total net worth.
• 23:01
  You know what I mean? In my checking account.
• 23:04
  Like, yeah, none of this, none of this is correct, right?
• 23:07
  But it's a telling story of where I was at the time, right?
• 23:10
  It wasn't sprinkled around and diversified because I was afraid
• 23:14
  of being broke, right? Our total life expenses were
• 23:17
  $5000 a month, which means if we do the math, 60 had five years
• 23:20
  of reserves, right? I was passed tax, so I had like
• 23:23
  5 years of liquid. Everything goes to hell in a
• 23:26
  handbasket reserves. And I was hassling her about a
• 23:28
  $800 grocery bill. That's prison, you know what I
• 23:31
  mean? Like that is it's completely
• 23:32
  unnecessary. And you know, I'm sorry that I
• 23:35
  put her through it. You know, on the other hand,
• 23:37
  she's been gracious enough in in recent like this year, because
• 23:42
  I've self deprecated so much to her about, you know, things I
• 23:45
  could have done different that I've learned over time that like
• 23:47
  she's like, you know, I, I could have realized how valuable you
• 23:50
  were and treated you different too and realized that so many of
• 23:53
  those things that you were doing were coming from protector
• 23:56
  provider and really setting us up because, you know, we're both
• 23:59
  in a good place now. You know, after divorce easily,
• 24:03
  you know, divorce, the way I ended it got to divorce was
• 24:07
  easily one of the biggest failures ever.
• 24:09
  I knew the marriage was over and, and I self sabotaged and
• 24:13
  cheated. And so, you know, that was
• 24:15
  easily one of the biggest fails. I look back and I'm, you know,
• 24:18
  pardon my language for the women watching, but it was just about
• 24:21
  the biggest pussy move on the planet.
• 24:23
  You know what I mean? It was just, there's just the,
• 24:25
  the, the, the secure, true divine masculine way to do that
• 24:30
  is to sit down and have a hard conversation.
• 24:32
  You know, here's where we are. You know, whether it's I'm out
• 24:36
  of love or the mechanics of the relationship don't work.
• 24:38
  We've been trying to make this thing work for seven years.
• 24:40
  By the way, we were together almost 20.
• 24:42
  So, you know, we've been trying hard to make it work.
• 24:44
  And it was, it was over. And and then you find a way to
• 24:48
  to do, to get out of that. Unfortunately, you know, that
• 24:52
  just left so much unnecessary pain and collateral damage for
• 24:57
  so many people. You know, it made me a fraud to
• 25:00
  my agents who knew and found out, made me a fraud to my
• 25:03
  business partners who believed in everything that I stood on
• 25:06
  stage and so profoundly stood for.
• 25:09
  You know, I have two boys. What a great example for two
• 25:12
  boys, you know what I mean, to cheat on their mom.
• 25:14
  So, you know, I had to deal. I had to deal with that.
• 25:18
  And easily one of the, if not the biggest failure on the other
• 25:22
  hand, but you know, if you're not a victim, then failures for
• 25:26
  learning. And you know, I have a thing
• 25:29
  that I say, you know, that the deeper the pain, the the more
• 25:31
  robust the learning experience. And so there's this thing for me
• 25:35
  where, you know, I created some pretty hefty pain and pretty
• 25:38
  hefty collateral damage. But what I was willing to learn
• 25:41
  and investigate and practice on the backside of that, you know,
• 25:45
  will set me and my children up with legacy for the rest of
• 25:47
  their lives. And hopefully, if I do things
• 25:49
  right, you know, in in the influence space, you know, I'll
• 25:53
  change lives with that mistake. So, you know, at the end of the
• 25:56
  day, I look back and say, I know I did it wrong.
• 25:59
  I'm sorry. And I promise that I'll make it
• 26:01
  worth, you know, a billion times what you know, the pain that it
• 26:05
  it created. Yeah, and so let's dive into to
• 26:09
  the victim hood. You know, we most successful
• 26:12
  people in life and we're not just talking wealth, but just
• 26:14
  successful humans in relationships and spirituality
• 26:18
  and and friendships and family and health and wealth and all
• 26:21
  the areas they have an internal locus of control.
• 26:24
  And most people that settle for mediocrity and don't really
• 26:28
  create the lives that they're really excited to wake up to
• 26:30
  everyday have an external locus of control, which is the victim
• 26:33
  mentality. So what is being of what are the
• 26:36
  dangers of being a victim to you?
• 26:38
  Like what have you? What is this project that you're
• 26:40
  working on, this anti victim project?
• 26:42
  And and how have you seen that show up in your life?
• 26:44
  Yeah, well, let's just go back to my childhood, right?
• 26:47
  What I've shared with you guys so far about my childhood, I
• 26:50
  have a lot of excuses of why I shouldn't be here, right.
• 26:53
  Single mom. I mean, my mom went on to be a
• 26:55
  social worker. She went on to be a grocery
• 26:57
  store clerk, and now she lives off Social Security in a
• 26:59
  trailer. That's no disrespect to my mom.
• 27:01
  My mom's my hero. That's the life she chose.
• 27:03
  And so there, that's. But I at least to paint a
• 27:06
  picture for the audience, like I have a lot of excuses, right?
• 27:09
  Single mom, you know, I had a father figure who's a loving,
• 27:13
  amazing father. I called dad my whole life and
• 27:15
  geographically he was distant and he wasn't a, you know, I
• 27:18
  mean, he would send my mom money when he could, you know, and she
• 27:21
  was OK with that. That was their arrangement.
• 27:23
  But like, I didn't call my dad and ask him for help when I, you
• 27:26
  know, got myself into college, you know, no disrespect to him,
• 27:29
  he would have if he could have, he just couldn't, you know what
• 27:31
  I mean? So all of these, I was the first
• 27:33
  college graduate in my family. Like I can go on and on and on.
• 27:36
  I have unlimited excuses. So the, the absolute epitome of,
• 27:42
  of what victimhood creates is it limits opportunity, right?
• 27:46
  I mean, it shrinks if, if, if we're born into the world with
• 27:50
  limitless opportunity and, and we rely on social conditioning
• 27:55
  to shape us as we get to a place where we know the difference
• 27:59
  between right and wrong. If we point to our social
• 28:02
  conditioning to be the reason for why we're, we stand where we
• 28:05
  stand, then we significantly reduce the amount of
• 28:08
  possibilities that we have. The slogan for anti victim is
• 28:11
  start where you stand, right? So it's like this is it.
• 28:15
  Everything starts right here. You can't go back and change
• 28:18
  anything. And so you know that that for me
• 28:22
  is and for me I, I, I think there's this innate thing in me
• 28:25
  and it really I believe it's innate.
• 28:27
  I just can't remember a day in my life where I ever said
• 28:30
  something was responsible for where I am today, no matter
• 28:33
  what. And I've had I had this
• 28:35
  conversation with my little sister who's attempting.
• 28:37
  She's she's not attempting. She's entered entrepreneurship
• 28:40
  for the first time. And she was stuck last night in
• 28:44
  a phone conversation she was stuck on.
• 28:46
  They did me wrong, right? And I want to go get them.
• 28:48
  And I was like, but what's it going to do for your endeavor to
• 28:52
  go get them? Is it going to is it going to
• 28:54
  change the rules and regulations of your industry?
• 28:57
  No. Is it going to get you money?
• 29:01
  No. Is it going to get you time?
• 29:03
  No. Is it going to help your cause?
• 29:06
  No. But they did me wrong.
• 29:08
  Like, So what? It doesn't matter.
• 29:10
  And it sounds callous when you're talking to someone who
• 29:12
  doesn't fully get it. And I was like, you sound like a
• 29:15
  victim, right? They did you wrong, by the way.
• 29:19
  Sure. We had a conversation about this
• 29:21
  person she was going to enter into business with.
• 29:24
  And at the point of no return where she was either in or she
• 29:27
  was out, we said we believe he's a bad person.
• 29:31
  OK. But we don't have any other
• 29:32
  options right now. I say we because I was mentoring
• 29:35
  her. Meaning, do you have another
• 29:36
  lane you can go in? No great.
• 29:39
  So let's enter into an agreement with him, but the agreement has
• 29:42
  to be under the guise or the terms that we believe he's a bad
• 29:45
  person or could be bad, right. If he surprises us and he's not,
• 29:50
  we win. But if he's bad and we find out
• 29:53
  he's the person we thought he was, but we it accelerates us
• 29:56
  both by way of learning. We might get some new
• 29:59
  relationships, new network. He's not going to do anything so
• 30:01
  bad that you can't perform into the future.
• 30:03
  Then you can't be mad when that person does you wrong.
• 30:06
  Otherwise you're back to victimhood.
• 30:08
  You got to look at the whole total sum of the experience and
• 30:10
  say, I predicted it was going to go this way.
• 30:12
  What were the fruits of the risk, right?
• 30:14
  And she gets to look at the fruits of her risk and go,
• 30:16
  here's all the things I learned and now take those and deploy
• 30:19
  your way forward. And I told her, flip the rear
• 30:22
  view mirror up. Stop looking at it.
• 30:23
  Look through the windshield and push down on the gas, right?
• 30:26
  We can't go back and fix those people.
• 30:27
  And this applies to our personal life, our professional life, our
• 30:31
  work life, our coworkers, our politics, our religion, our
• 30:35
  social current events, whatever it might be.
• 30:38
  None of it's responsible for where you're at in your life
• 30:40
  right now. Quit fucking whining.
• 30:41
  Suck it up, identify what you can do to make a difference, and
• 30:44
  go and do it. And as soon as you opt into
• 30:47
  being an anti victim and the other thing that happens is you
• 30:49
  start recognizing the victims in your life and how absolutely
• 30:53
  blood sucking they are on your energy.
• 30:55
  And if you can have get the gumption to believe in yourself,
• 30:58
  you talk briefly about self love.
• 31:00
  The gumption to tell those people it's time to either if we
• 31:02
  talked about this that you know before we got on set was either
• 31:05
  forgive them, right? Forgiveness doesn't mean you
• 31:07
  have to bring them with you. It really is freeing for you.
• 31:10
  People think I can't forgive them because of what they did to
• 31:12
  me. It's like, hold on.
• 31:13
  I don't know what your thoughts are on this, but I'm not
• 31:15
  forgiving you for you. I'm forgiving you for me, right?
• 31:18
  I have to let go of that so that I'm free of it, right?
• 31:21
  So I'm forgiving you for me. Next thing is, is there's two
• 31:24
  categories. One your blood sucking victim,
• 31:26
  get out of my life. The other one is you're in get
• 31:29
  on the train because you're coming with me whether you like
• 31:30
  it or not. That's the simplification of
• 31:33
  those categories of people. As you step into anti victim
• 31:36
  mentality really changes things and it it frees you really it
• 31:40
  expands the periphery is what it does.
• 31:42
  Yeah, for someone who's because for, for you and me, we're not
• 31:45
  very victim people. We're very anti evictive people.
• 31:48
  And one could say that we are innately anti victim people.
• 31:51
  That's how we've always been. And you know, that shows up in
• 31:54
  our nature of people pleasing and low self worth doesn't for
• 31:57
  me speaking low self worth as a child, having to earn my, you
• 32:00
  know, approval from others and, and trying to love myself and
• 32:03
  all that. Now some people are born just in
• 32:06
  the victim mentality. That's very much a social norm.
• 32:10
  So for those who are feeling stuck in that and maybe the
• 32:13
  first step is awareness that they are being a victim and
• 32:15
  then, OK, I have awareness that I am a victim often in my life.
• 32:19
  How do they, what tools can they use to start to shift and rewire
• 32:24
  that self sabotaging victim victim mentality and use that
• 32:27
  energy to shift it into something that's more abundant
• 32:29
  and serving for their life? Before the self-awareness,
• 32:35
  there's almost this shock and awe thing that happens and I, I
• 32:37
  call it witness the victim. And the first thing that I would
• 32:41
  recommend somebody do is write down a journal entry of all of
• 32:44
  the things that have been done to you, as many of them as you
• 32:47
  can, OK. And all the reasons that you
• 32:50
  can't do what you want because of the trauma, by the way,
• 32:53
  trauma I, I've been saying recently, it's an overused word.
• 32:57
  I don't think it is an overused word.
• 32:59
  I think it's, I think it's a, I think it's a misused word,
• 33:05
  right? It's like every single person on
• 33:07
  the planet experiences drama, right?
• 33:09
  So it's OK to talk about it. It's just, are we using it to in
• 33:13
  to justify our lack of dot dot dot in the world, Right.
• 33:18
  But if we go onto a piece of paper and we write it all down,
• 33:21
  that's a good start. But the next thing I would
• 33:24
  recommend highly suggest anybody do is turn on a camera, point it
• 33:28
  at yourself and read it. And then watch it back and
• 33:33
  listen to yourself. Like really listen to the
• 33:36
  tonality. Listen to yourself say out loud
• 33:39
  to the world probably things that you say over and over.
• 33:42
  Because the other thing that that victim loves is more
• 33:45
  victims, right? Because you get supported in
• 33:47
  your victimhood. So you surround yourself with
• 33:49
  people that are like, yeah, me too, you know, yeah, me too.
• 33:53
  My mom did that to me and my dad did that to me.
• 33:55
  And my birth order fucked me up and my when everything was good
• 33:59
  until we moved to that town or my older brother and sister,
• 34:02
  they got this and then the parents got divorced when it
• 34:04
  when it was me. And that's when everything, you
• 34:06
  know what I mean? I want to create a safe
• 34:09
  environment for people to come and be able to share those
• 34:11
  things like, hey, it's real. It happened.
• 34:14
  But really, like really that's are your parents here in the
• 34:17
  room right now? No.
• 34:19
  Is your birth order in the room right now?
• 34:21
  No. Is your socio economic
• 34:24
  experience that you had from ages 7 to 14 in the room right
• 34:27
  now? No.
• 34:28
  OK, cool. Well, now you got to tell me
• 34:30
  based upon yourself awareness, which you brought up comes after
• 34:33
  being able to actually hear yourself, which usually what do
• 34:36
  you think is the first feeling that comes up when someone
• 34:39
  watches that video back? Negative.
• 34:42
  Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, really.
• 34:46
  And it's like, okay, now you can't Unsee it.
• 34:48
  That's what you sound like in the world, right?
• 34:51
  So then there's self-awareness. With self-awareness, I say the
• 34:54
  first two things are thoughts and words, right?
• 34:57
  Thoughts and words are probably one of them, if not the most
• 35:00
  important thing because we just can get caught saying the same
• 35:02
  thing over and over again, which creates external belief.
• 35:05
  People believe you. They only believe what you tell
• 35:07
  them. So if you say, you know, a
• 35:09
  classic one, it's just like, I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick.
• 35:11
  If you keep saying that enough, you're going to get sick and
• 35:13
  that sickness will perpetuate, right?
• 35:15
  Either because people believe it, the world starts to shape
• 35:17
  shift around you. You start to make decisions
• 35:19
  based on being sick, that sort of thing.
• 35:22
  So then it's self audit after self-awareness, it's self audit.
• 35:25
  You have to self audit your words.
• 35:27
  You got to self audit the people you're spending speaking time
• 35:28
  with, self audit the things you're doing.
• 35:30
  Pardon me, in your spare time, simple basic things like health,
• 35:34
  what are you doing with your exercise, your diet?
• 35:37
  Do you have any kind of quiet time, screen time?
• 35:39
  I would go into breath work and meditation, but that seems woo
• 35:42
  woo for people. If I were really just to
• 35:44
  simplify it. Turn off all your screens and
• 35:46
  get quiet. What meditation and breath work
• 35:48
  do is they attach you to self right?
• 35:50
  You get to hear the madness that's going on in your mind
• 35:52
  that we drown out with screens. So you know, there's your health
• 35:55
  component connection. What are you doing in your
• 35:57
  relationships, right? How are you showing up in your
• 36:00
  relationships? My wife said to me, it was a
• 36:02
  profound shift in our, in our relationship.
• 36:04
  She very much values my, my work ethic and what I do in the
• 36:08
  business. But and she knows I'm on the
• 36:10
  phone a lot because it's a part of business.
• 36:12
  And she said to me, Hey, I don't know how to say this any
• 36:15
  different and I don't need it often.
• 36:16
  But if I ask you for your undivided attention, can I share
• 36:18
  with you what that means? I was like, yeah, she's like, it
• 36:21
  just means, can you put your phone down?
• 36:23
  Can you make eye contact with me?
• 36:24
  Can I get your undivided attention for only the time that
• 36:27
  I need it? And then when we're done and I'm
• 36:28
  satisfied with what I needed to get handled, which by the way,
• 36:31
  is always something very important, She's not going to
• 36:33
  say I need your undivided attention.
• 36:34
  If it's not. And at that point, you can go
• 36:36
  back to doing whatever you're doing.
• 36:37
  I'm going to believe you're working.
• 36:38
  But I know you're fucking around on Instagram.
• 36:40
  So, you know, And I give her that undivided attention.
• 36:42
  So what are you doing in your relationships, right?
• 36:45
  Critically important. What are you doing in skill, in
• 36:46
  skill mode? Like are you taking the time to
• 36:48
  enhance your skill set and get better at something that will
• 36:51
  make you, that'll eliminate victimhood quickly?
• 36:54
  Like go get better at something? What are you educating yourself
• 36:57
  on? Are you reading a book?
• 36:58
  Are you listening to a podcast? Do you have a coach?
• 37:00
  Do you go get educated on something?
• 37:02
  And then with this new information, practice, go
• 37:05
  practice something new. And when you practice that,
• 37:07
  guess what? You're going to get rewards.
• 37:09
  If it's in your health space, you're going to feel better,
• 37:11
  you're going to look better. Somebody's going to be like,
• 37:13
  damn it, what have you been up to?
• 37:14
  You look great. You're going to start getting
• 37:16
  rewards for it. And when you start to get
• 37:18
  rewards for things, then it perpetuates the practice.
• 37:20
  You practice harder. When you practice harder, what
• 37:22
  happens? You get more rewards.
• 37:24
  When you get more rewards, all of a sudden you wake up one day,
• 37:26
  you're no longer a fucking victim.
• 37:28
  You're happy. The challenge with happiness is
• 37:31
  it's fleeting. It's a brief moment for a lot of
• 37:34
  hard work, right? And so there's this moment of
• 37:37
  how do you rejoice and what do you do with the moments of
• 37:40
  happiness? You show gratitude, and there's
• 37:42
  a lot of different ways to do that.
• 37:43
  You can reach back out to the people who gave you the nudges
• 37:46
  along the way. You can reach out to the coaches
• 37:48
  that that helped you along the way.
• 37:49
  You can reach out to family members and tell them thanks for
• 37:52
  support. Usually what I say about
• 37:54
  gratitude is gratitude is the fastest way to show God that
• 37:59
  you're grateful for all of the things that you've been given in
• 38:02
  your life, which usually is just something like life or the
• 38:05
  opportunity, right? There would be some things that
• 38:07
  I would deploy in the anti victim space.
• 38:09
  Yeah, I love that. I actually did a talk last week
• 38:12
  on energy and how the biggest catalyst for my transformation
• 38:17
  in my life from suicidal, depressed, anxious, toxic
• 38:20
  relationships mess right when you met me, complete mess 2.
• 38:25
  Now I'm actually actually happy every day.
• 38:28
  That's not to say there's not storms and stress and and
• 38:30
  problems, but I feel happy to wake up and happy to go to bed
• 38:33
  every day. And I feel grounded and at peace
• 38:35
  in my body and what I'm doing and the people I'm around and
• 38:36
  the mission that I'm on and all these things and have healthy
• 38:40
  relations, healthy body and everything.
• 38:42
  And the catalyst was learning how to control my energy, which
• 38:47
  victim is a low frequency, very low frequency, low vibrational
• 38:52
  negative energy. And when you what I found in my
• 38:55
  life, when I am in a negative energy, I attract more negative
• 39:00
  energy things and that just snowballs everything in your
• 39:02
  life. And as soon as I started to cut
• 39:03
  out the negative energy things in my life and keep myself in a
• 39:06
  peak energy, then I attracted more of that in my life and that
• 39:09
  started compounding very quickly.
• 39:11
  And so it sounds like a lot of what you're saying is this
• 39:13
  victimhood, like if you if you're living in the state of
• 39:15
  victim, you cannot be vibrating at a high frequency, You cannot
• 39:18
  be in the Green Zone at a high energy.
• 39:20
  And when you're not in a high energy, you don't have the same
• 39:22
  results. Studies show when you're in
• 39:24
  flow, you are five times more productive than when you're out
• 39:26
  of flow. And so I think it's so important
• 39:29
  no matter what anybody is trying to achieve, whether it be
• 39:32
  financial goals, relationship goals, health goals, the
• 39:35
  victimhood mentality, or the importance of keeping yourself
• 39:38
  in a peak state of mind. And just like we were talking
• 39:40
  about is you're not forgiving for them, you're forgiving for
• 39:44
  you. And if I know that the outcomes
• 39:46
  of my life can only be as great as the energetic state in which
• 39:49
  I initiate the action to try to get them, then I protect my
• 39:53
  energy above all else in my entire life, which means I
• 39:56
  cannot be a victim because that brings my energy down.
• 40:00
  And so it's like everything that I do, whether people screw me
• 40:02
  over or not, you know, I've. We all have it, tons of money
• 40:06
  stolen and employees screw you over and people sue you or this
• 40:09
  and that, whatever, right? But if it brings my energy down
• 40:12
  and I can't control that they stole from me, but I can control
• 40:15
  how, how I react to that and said some people can't
• 40:17
  understand, but you know, just like you said, they, they
• 40:20
  deserve revenge, like, but that ruins you, right?
• 40:24
  And so it's, it's so important and people just kind of miss it
• 40:26
  and they're like, well, what about the new marketing
• 40:27
  technique to make more money? It's like, no, this is the real
• 40:30
  technique. That sounds so easy, but it's
• 40:33
  really the hardest thing to master.
• 40:34
  It was the most frustrating thing for me about real estate
• 40:37
  brokerage is I knew, I knew I was up to physically changing
• 40:43
  lives like I was. I had a road map for doing it.
• 40:46
  We called it 360 agent. It was like the 360° agent.
• 40:50
  Most brokerages teach 20° of the agent, right?
• 40:54
  How to make sales calls, how to do marketing, how to work
• 40:57
  technology, right. And then there's these other
• 40:59
  340° of the agent. And we, I mean, we were doing
• 41:02
  things like every agent in the company took a love languages
• 41:06
  test. And the way that any CC suite
• 41:08
  executive would address an agent, we studied every, every
• 41:12
  single person's love language. So if we knew that somebody had
• 41:15
  done something inside of the organization that was valuable
• 41:18
  from the perspective, the organization, if quality time
• 41:20
  was their thing, then I would go spend 20 seconds of quality time
• 41:23
  with them. They'd be walking by.
• 41:24
  I'd go, Hannah, come here real quick, close the door, sit down.
• 41:28
  How are you? And they're like, why am I in
• 41:31
  here? And you're like, I just wanted
• 41:32
  to spend, you know, a few minutes with you and just see
• 41:34
  how you're doing. How's your family?
• 41:35
  How's your dog? Next person would come by and it
• 41:37
  might be gifts. And we knew it was gifts.
• 41:39
  I would go into Monica's office frequently and go, Hey, what's
• 41:42
  Annie's love language, right? It would be acts of service.
• 41:44
  It would be like I'd go clean up her office a little bit, you
• 41:47
  know, and leave a note. Hey, I just want, you know, I
• 41:48
  cleaned your office because it looks like whatever in here.
• 41:51
  I know you're busy and you're killing it.
• 41:53
  You know what I mean? Those are that's how you get to
• 41:56
  the 360 of a person, the whole of a person, we called it right?
• 41:59
  And where you can make a big shift in the world, but it
• 42:01
  starts here. They have to have, you know,
• 42:03
  that energy and frequency internally to go, how can I go
• 42:06
  and connect with these people externally to really make a
• 42:08
  difference? And that's how we can start you.
• 42:11
  Know. Really making movement in the.
• 42:12
  World and how how did you get participation when you know
• 42:15
  everybody or the majority are independent contractors, they're
• 42:17
  kind of entrepreneurs running their own businesses within your
• 42:20
  organization, like how did you get that participation?
• 42:23
  Momentum, right? I mean, you don't come to North
• 42:25
  and Co. We used to say you can't hide at
• 42:28
  North and Co, right? It was like you knew what you
• 42:30
  were getting. Most people that came to be a
• 42:32
  part of the company where at first like, hey, you guys have a
• 42:35
  great brand and you guys have great producing agents.
• 42:39
  But like I've heard what's behind the scenes, what is it?
• 42:42
  Most of our recruiting appointments, I mean you've sat
• 42:44
  in those business meetings with us weren't about metrics and
• 42:47
  numbers unless there was a consideration of like could we
• 42:50
  partner? Is there a joint venture
• 42:51
  opportunity? You brought a unique opportunity
• 42:53
  to us in that past life situation was that you did
• 42:56
  commercial real estate and we didn't have a commercial real
• 42:58
  estate arm. So we talked about more kind of
• 43:00
  business minded business human type topics, but for the
• 43:05
  majority of the agents that came to work with us, they were
• 43:07
  looking for that thing. And then when they got in the
• 43:09
  vortex that was North and Co, like you're like, I guess you
• 43:13
  fill out a love languages test. But there wasn't a lot of denial
• 43:16
  because everyone had already done it.
• 43:17
  So it was kind of a follow the leader approach.
• 43:19
  Yeah. And what when you exited?
• 43:21
  Because I know so many entrepreneurs they exit and they
• 43:24
  have this identity crisis after they exit.
• 43:26
  Did you one, did you have that and and two, before your exit?
• 43:31
  OK, actually let's let's start there.
• 43:33
  So did you have a plan after your exit on what you were going
• 43:36
  to do, or was the plan just to get through the sale and then
• 43:39
  rest and figure out what your next move was?
• 43:41
  It was kind of like that. I mean, you know, you heard Mike
• 43:45
  Tyson say everyone has a plan to get punched in the face.
• 43:47
  You know, I mean, so yeah, I had AI mean I had a plan.
• 43:50
  Plan was, you know, exit the company, rest for a little bit,
• 43:53
  rely on real estate sales if I want to keep keep momentum, keep
• 43:56
  making money, fall back on and start working on the anti victim
• 44:01
  project. Right?
• 44:01
  Like that was the plan. So you already knew about anti
• 44:03
  victim? Yeah, for sure.
• 44:06
  And really what that plan was like, you know, if we really
• 44:09
  back up, it was I couldn't do in the real estate brokering
• 44:16
  industry what I really wanted to do, which was everything an
• 44:20
  agent needs and not everything an agent wants.
• 44:24
  And the reason is, is because the model says I'm going to give
• 44:28
  you a portion of my Commission to help me make more money,
• 44:32
  right? The agreement isn't I'm gonna
• 44:33
  give you a portion of my Commission to help me be the
• 44:35
  best human I can be. That's not the agreement.
• 44:37
  That's not the arrangement, right?
• 44:38
  So my thing was, that's what I'm in this business for.
• 44:41
  And the brokerage industry is broken for that model.
• 44:45
  It doesn't want that. Agents want to know what is the
• 44:48
  fastest path to the ATM and what I'm going to teach you is the
• 44:52
  fastest path to a fulfilled life.
• 44:54
  And it takes a lot of fucking time, right?
• 44:58
  Doesn't work right? It was the wrong vehicle for
• 45:00
  that. And so for me it was like, OK,
• 45:03
  the the agents are suited in a better place that will give them
• 45:07
  the 20° that they're looking for, right?
• 45:11
  And I'm going to take back what it is that I can do.
• 45:14
  And I'm going to utilize a much larger audience, brand agnostic,
• 45:18
  larger audience called School Kajabi, you know, whatever it
• 45:22
  might be, and go create an online community where agents
• 45:25
  can come and get their personal development.
• 45:26
  OK, That was kind of the initial thing.
• 45:29
  And then when it was over, when the, when I, the exit happened,
• 45:32
  I went through this thing of like, do I want it to be new
• 45:36
  agents? I think there's a real need for
• 45:39
  new, like really good new agent training, right?
• 45:42
  Create a low ticket item for new agents.
• 45:44
  There's a huge audience there and I was like, all of that's
• 45:48
  wrong because it's all about commerce.
• 45:50
  It's like there's a huge audience and if I just get this
• 45:53
  many people at this price per month, I can make a bunch of
• 45:55
  money. But I would die a slow death
• 45:57
  because I would be teaching new agent training, you know what I
• 46:00
  mean? Then I flip-flopped and was
• 46:02
  like, I'm going to do high ticket, whatever.
• 46:04
  And that was just about commerce.
• 46:06
  So I had to actually unwind this thing that I still needed to
• 46:09
  make money. How about that, right?
• 46:11
  I just exited a company. I'm good.
• 46:14
  Like life is good. I'm OK, right?
• 46:16
  I don't back to five years of reserve and I'm still trying to
• 46:20
  figure out how am I going to be OK.
• 46:22
  So I did have this thing that was like weird, but I just got
• 46:24
  to sit in it and deploy a lot of the personal development, a lot
• 46:27
  of the healing work that I had done over the last five or seven
• 46:30
  years and just sit in it and sit quiet and reach out to the
• 46:33
  people closest to me. And I'm in that process was
• 46:35
  planning a wedding. I got married in January of this
• 46:37
  year, which is amazing. That distracted me.
• 46:41
  That was a good distraction. And it really was after the
• 46:43
  wedding that was like, OK, now what?
• 46:46
  Right, and I'm delayed on anti victim honest, like my
• 46:50
  entrepreneurial executor is like I'm delayed, I'm late and but
• 46:55
  I've also in the process of that was like, no, remain patient.
• 46:59
  You don't have to do anything. I was at war with myself.
• 47:01
  My old muscle memoried wounded that version of me that had to
• 47:06
  go, just go, go do, execute, do, do, do.
• 47:09
  And the new upgraded version of just BBB.
• 47:12
  It will come when it's right really was in conflict with each
• 47:15
  other and it's literally been in the last week where I'm like,
• 47:19
  I'm like now it's time and here we go.
• 47:21
  So and the thing that said it's time is everything that I was
• 47:25
  doing in anti victim or in the coaching, in the development of
• 47:29
  my coaching space was way too soft when I went through divorce
• 47:34
  that the the thing that created divorce was was a fighter.
• 47:37
  I'm a warrior like I am. If anybody leaves in astrology,
• 47:40
  my chart is ruled with fight. I'm in Aries rising.
• 47:44
  I'm ruled by Mars, which is the planet of war.
• 47:47
  Like I'm meant to be at war and UN immature warfare is really
• 47:58
  bad. Mature warfare is really good
• 48:02
  for the people close to you, right?
• 48:04
  Just stay with me, help provide for me in whatever unique way
• 48:09
  that that might be. And let me go do what exactly
• 48:12
  what you have designed and what I'm designed to do.
• 48:15
  And I promise I'm going to take care of you better than you
• 48:17
  could have ever imagined if you could be taken care of.
• 48:19
  And I'm going to take care of myself better.
• 48:22
  And and So what I've realized really in the last week or two
• 48:26
  is I've just been too soft. I've been authenticity and
• 48:29
  vulnerability and, you know, mindfulness and all of that will
• 48:33
  absolutely be laced in what I do.
• 48:35
  But it's time for me to bring the brings, bring the war, and
• 48:40
  I'm excited for that. And what what's an example of
• 48:43
  bringing the war like not being so you got this and just being
• 48:47
  like get your shit together and stop acting like a little baby
• 48:50
  or what? What?
• 48:51
  What do you? Say it like I mean it.
• 48:52
  Yeah, just say it. Stop being worried.
• 48:54
  About I was on a run 2 days ago. I love to trail run.
• 48:56
  That's my thinking time. I joke some, you know, people
• 48:58
  like they're showers, they're thinking time, you know, like
• 49:01
  for me, it's my trail run and I was on the way down from the
• 49:05
  hill and I was like, I've, I've actually been battling some
• 49:07
  health stuff the last couple months.
• 49:09
  Simple. I don't know what it is.
• 49:11
  And, but overwhelming fatigue, like fatigue.
• 49:14
  I've no, I'm a high energy guy, right?
• 49:16
  I've had like, I've been battling fatigue really badly.
• 49:20
  And I was like, what if I, what if I was going to die?
• 49:22
  This is on my trail run 2 days ago.
• 49:24
  I'm like, what if I'm going to die?
• 49:27
  Would I speak differently about what I believe and the things
• 49:32
  that I want to say? Fuck yeah, I would, because I
• 49:35
  wouldn't care. You know what I mean?
• 49:36
  I wouldn't care what anyone thinks.
• 49:38
  I wouldn't care who I offended. I mean, I mean it.
• 49:41
  But like, I'm afraid of offending someone because I love
• 49:43
  people and I don't want to offend anyone, but offending
• 49:46
  someone is not my responsibility.
• 49:48
  What I say is my responsibility. And whether you're offended or
• 49:51
  not is your responsibility, right.
• 49:53
  And it was this like epiphany really in the last I started
• 49:55
  calling my people who've been supporting me in this endeavor.
• 49:57
  And I'm like, it's on, dude. I've got it.
• 49:59
  Like it's time for me to start just I'm unhinged now.
• 50:02
  I don't have the broker. I don't have to worry about what
• 50:04
  people think or say. My wife is my biggest champion
• 50:07
  in the world. She's going to be like, say that
• 50:09
  shit, Fucking say that shit. So like, you know, I don't have
• 50:12
  to protect the way that I did. And so it would really just be
• 50:14
  say it like you mean it. And it's going to be a, it'll be
• 50:17
  with a unique and different energy than I think what people
• 50:19
  are used to seeing me with. Yeah, I love it.
• 50:22
  And I think it's definitely a good time for that, you know,
• 50:25
  especially with Charlie Kirk getting murdered and his the,
• 50:29
  the, the, the thread on free speech.
• 50:31
  And you know, the message in that was don't talk.
• 50:34
  It's not safe and follow the rules of whatever you're told to
• 50:38
  do right. And, and I love that everybody's
• 50:41
  coming together to even speak louder and, and speak their
• 50:44
  truth higher and, and greater. But regardless of that mission
• 50:48
  or not, it's just the free speech thing and like just
• 50:50
  showing up who you really are and not being afraid to whatever
• 50:56
  the world's going to tell you or or come after you for so.
• 50:58
  You bring up a Charlie Kirk was also an inspiration for me in an
• 51:01
  interesting way. I'd never heard of Charlie Kirk
• 51:04
  before September 10th. Really.
• 51:06
  Never one time and I say it's because I don't follow political
• 51:10
  warfare. I don't know anybody on the left
• 51:12
  either. That's a that's outspoken,
• 51:14
  right. I don't get it in my feed.
• 51:16
  I don't get it in my world because I don't prescribe to it.
• 51:18
  In fact, I think I believe, and this is part of my voice right
• 51:21
  now, the where the inspiration came from.
• 51:23
  By the way, his assassination was on my birthday.
• 51:26
  So it was a it was a very unique day for me emotionally, like
• 51:30
  taking it all in. I was also, I have a sociology
• 51:34
  degree that was and I did it because I loved it, right?
• 51:36
  Which is the study of the way that people work, especially in
• 51:39
  groups. So for me, when it happened, I
• 51:41
  just got, I pulled way back, got really quiet and just watched
• 51:46
  people scatter. I watched people get really
• 51:48
  insecure and feel like they need to belong.
• 51:50
  People I know that didn't either know who Charlie Kirk was or
• 51:53
  maybe heard of him once or twice.
• 51:55
  All of a sudden they were like, it was like they were a family
• 51:57
  member of his and they're posting all over the place.
• 51:59
  And I realized that the quietest group was the moderate majority,
• 52:05
  the moderate majority, not the people who are pointing the
• 52:07
  finger victims. By the way, I think if you're an
• 52:09
  outspoken right pointing the finger at the left, you're a
• 52:11
  victim. And if you're an outspoken left
• 52:13
  pointing a finger at the right, you're a victim, right?
• 52:16
  If you want to fix it, why don't you go to your party that you
• 52:19
  believe so much in and sit down at the table and fix it or look
• 52:22
  in the mirror and say, here's my part in the chaos and fix it,
• 52:26
  right? And for me, it's this thing of
• 52:28
  like, let's all sit down and have a conversation about the
• 52:30
  quiet majority. The quiet majority is like, you
• 52:33
  guys are crazy and you guys are crazy with this all this
• 52:36
  outspoken, uneducated bullshit. Let's all get in a room together
• 52:40
  and let's decide what we all want together.
• 52:42
  What do people really want together?
• 52:43
  Do you know what they want together?
• 52:45
  I don't care what side of the fence you're on.
• 52:46
  Do you want a good military to protect us from evil?
• 52:49
  Sure. Do we want insurance for most
• 52:50
  people? Sure we do.
• 52:52
  Do we want good education for our kids?
• 52:54
  Absolutely. Do we want good roads and
• 52:56
  bridges? 100%.
• 52:58
  Do we want a good, robust economy so that we can thrive
• 53:00
  and build for our family? Absolutely.
• 53:04
  Is there anybody denying that those are the things we don't
• 53:06
  want? So then why are we so divisive,
• 53:08
  people? That's why we're divisive.
• 53:10
  We're divisive. We're divided because we are
• 53:12
  following people's ideology of these things that we all want,
• 53:17
  Right. Do we all want the right to be
• 53:18
  able to defend ourselves, AKA the right to bear arms?
• 53:22
  Yeah. Should there be some reform?
• 53:24
  Absolutely. It's not 1776.
• 53:26
  We should change things a little bit.
• 53:29
  You know what I mean? So again, it's this thing of
• 53:32
  where's the moderate majority? They don't want to get caught up
• 53:34
  in the, in the, in the all the shit.
• 53:37
  So they just stay quietly and they talk amongst themselves.
• 53:40
  If I had a moment on your platform, I would call the voice
• 53:43
  of the, of the moderate majority to come to the microphone and be
• 53:46
  like you enough, you enough here.
• 53:50
  We need to come together as a majority.
• 53:52
  You know what the Million Man March would look like if it was
• 53:54
  the moderate majority? It would be the majority of our
• 53:57
  country. Unfortunately, the loudest ones
• 53:59
  are the ones that get the most attention.
• 54:01
  Yeah, that's a fact. What I know we got to wrap up
• 54:06
  here, but what is the best advice you have ever heard or
• 54:10
  received in your life? I just asked a friend this
• 54:23
  weekend and it's just fresh in my mind.
• 54:25
  I said what do you think's wrong with the world?
• 54:28
  And he said we don't believe in God anymore and he didn't mean
• 54:33
  that in a specific religion. This friend of mine lived a
• 54:39
  celebrity past life, lived in an ashram in India, in a walkabout
• 54:46
  in Australia after they left their celebrity dumb they ran
• 54:49
  from the world has read. I mean would probably be an
• 54:54
  amazing preacher on the Bible. You know, probably classifieds
• 54:59
  Christian has read every religious text that you can
• 55:03
  imagine. And at the end of the day, we're
• 55:06
  we're believing in ego right now.
• 55:08
  And for me, there's been a path to God for a long time.
• 55:12
  It's just been a confused path to God because most of the
• 55:14
  people that I was looking to for that path weren't living a godly
• 55:17
  life. But telling me I needed to go to
• 55:19
  this place to believe in God didn't work for me.
• 55:22
  And it wasn't until I really started doing my own research
• 55:26
  and homework and, and abiding by my own path to God that I
• 55:30
  started finding, you know, a belief ultimately leading to a
• 55:33
  faith. And I think there's really
• 55:36
  something to faith. I think we need it more now than
• 55:40
  ever. And faith isn't necessarily
• 55:42
  adhered to a religion. But right now that would be the
• 55:45
  most important advice that just it came to the top of my head.
• 55:48
  I mean, I've had a very fortunate, I've had a lot of
• 55:50
  amazing advice, but I'm in a very macro thinking space right
• 55:54
  now, right? My advice isn't like, you know,
• 55:57
  invest 10% of everything you earn or something like that.
• 55:59
  It's really, it's really in a macro space.
• 56:02
  It's out. It's really outside of self,
• 56:04
  outside of America, outside of the world.
• 56:07
  It's like really what, what is the meaning of life?
• 56:09
  That's where I'm playing right now.
• 56:10
  And, and I think a belief in God and faith is really important.
• 56:14
  Yeah, that's so good. And I think I think that too.
• 56:17
  And I same thing had a very challenged relationship with God
• 56:20
  and religion and all those things.
• 56:23
  And through meditation and healing and personal development
• 56:27
  work, kind of found that connection to to source, God,
• 56:30
  the universe, Mother Nature, whatever that looks like for you
• 56:33
  and in that form. And it is, it is so true because
• 56:36
  it's like you look at this beautiful, confusing, crazy,
• 56:41
  wild, raw, brutal, incredible miracle of life like, and, and
• 56:47
  remember that we're floating on a space rock in the middle of
• 56:50
  expanding nothingness and we think we have it all figured
• 56:53
  out, right? It's like, I, I got it.
• 56:55
  It's like we don't have anything figured out.
• 56:56
  We, we never will. And so if we don't have that
• 57:00
  connection to something so much far beyond ourselves or our own
• 57:03
  issues or even our species, it's, it's not a very whole or
• 57:08
  complete, like, how could it be? You know, we're just in here
• 57:11
  like, let's make money and let's try to look pretty or hot or get
• 57:14
  a good girl or get a good guy and have money in the bank
• 57:16
  account and show my friends I'm cool and, you know, feel safe
• 57:19
  and secure. But it's so much greater than
• 57:21
  that. And so I love these
• 57:22
  conversations because they're so difficult to talk about because
• 57:26
  it's, it's, it's not, you know, it's abstract, right?
• 57:33
  And but it's, it's so real. And I think there's such a
• 57:36
  warfare in the world between good and evil.
• 57:39
  And it's very clear that that exists in the world.
• 57:42
  But it's like, how do we elevate as a species?
• 57:44
  How do we make the world a better place than we found it,
• 57:47
  even, you know, one life at a time?
• 57:48
  How do we just make somebody somebody's life better because
• 57:53
  we existed and when we were able to help them and so that's the
• 57:57
  way I see things down. I was like, obviously my
• 57:59
  platform is entrepreneurship and business and these things, but
• 58:02
  there's so much more to life than that.
• 58:04
  And that is just one piece of the very big pie you.
• 58:08
  Got it. Fear and faith.
• 58:10
  Have you read Outwaiting the Devil?
• 58:11
  I have not read that book yet. I'm listening to it for the
• 58:14
  third time. That's why I listened to it this
• 58:17
  morning in my run. And they talk about like,
• 58:19
  there's 22 selves, oneself is driven by fear, which is the
• 58:23
  devil. That's how the devil controls
• 58:25
  us. And the other is by faith.
• 58:27
  And the counterbalance to fear is faith.
• 58:29
  I mean, because at the end of the day, I also heard Saad Guru
• 58:34
  was with Mike Tyson and we've seen Mike Tyson with Saad Guru.
• 58:36
  Do you know Saad Guru is a big grey bearded Indian on social
• 58:39
  media, right? And Mike Tyson's like, I don't
• 58:41
  know what it is Like I'm just always afraid.
• 58:43
  Like I'm afraid of all these things.
• 58:45
  And he's like being afraid is being afraid of something.
• 58:48
  And he's like, we have these two parts of our lives.
• 58:51
  One is the thing that makes us different than any creature in
• 58:54
  the world is that we have a great memory.
• 58:56
  So we can remember things that happen other creatures don't.
• 58:59
  And we have an imagination. We can imagine things in the
• 59:02
  future. But it's those two things that
• 59:04
  keep us in fear of we can't change what we did in the past,
• 59:08
  so we're hanging on to it. And we're afraid of an
• 59:11
  imaginative thing that's not even here in the future.
• 59:14
  And so we're stuck in fear. And if we combine that, in my
• 59:17
  opinion, with outwitting the devil, which is to opt into
• 59:20
  faith or a belief in God, right, then there's this thing that
• 59:23
  says, well, how do I know I'm going to be OK?
• 59:26
  Right. Well, the first thing is just be
• 59:28
  stop thinking about the past because it's not here anymore
• 59:30
  and stop worrying about the future because it's not here
• 59:33
  either. And just be and have faith in.
• 59:35
  And this is the anti victim component, which is, you know, I
• 59:39
  believe the meaning of life is striving for something worthy,
• 59:42
  right? Identify what your thing is.
• 59:43
  And by the way, it might be to make the best burger in the
• 59:46
  world, if that's your worthy thing, then give it everything
• 59:49
  you have right and worthy and have faith in that you're going
• 59:52
  to do it. And when you do that, if you're
• 59:54
  in the beingness, the current moment of making the greatest
• 59:58
  burger and having faith that you're going to do that, then
• 1:00:00
  you're going to live a fulfilled life.
• 1:00:02
  That's really it, right? There you go.
• 1:00:05
  Do we have time for a speed round always like speed rounds
• 1:00:07
  at the end of these? Yeah.
• 1:00:08
  Like, question one answer, crazy shit.
• 1:00:11
  Like, you know, and we probably didn't get to some of the crazy
• 1:00:13
  topics we thought we were going to get to.
• 1:00:17
  OK, you. Can ask anything you want to
• 1:00:19
  like. Really anything you.
• 1:00:21
  Want what should I ask you? Oh no.
• 1:00:23
  Do you have any ideas? No, no, I mean, like we've had
• 1:00:27
  conversations about psychedelics, we've had
• 1:00:28
  conversations about, you know, relationship, we've had
• 1:00:31
  conversations about money, and, you know, there's a lot of taboo
• 1:00:34
  and all of them sex, drugs, rock'n'roll, I don't care.
• 1:00:36
  Oh my gosh, let it RIP. I'm so bad at thinking of things
• 1:00:39
  off the spot. OK, well, I guess we'll start
• 1:00:45
  with somebody just talking about books.
• 1:00:47
  What's one book that you've read that's changed your life?
• 1:00:51
  Breaking the habit of being yourself.
• 1:00:53
  That's Joe Dispenza. Quantum physics, quantum
• 1:00:56
  science. And the root of that book is if
• 1:01:01
  we can detach from people, things and time.
• 1:01:03
  So he says someone, something and no time.
• 1:01:07
  Then all things become limitless in the quantum realm.
• 1:01:11
  Or no. No one.
• 1:01:12
  No thing No. Time, No one, no thing, no time.
• 1:01:14
  There you go. You got it.
• 1:01:15
  So for me that that book was profound.
• 1:01:18
  It came right after The Power of now, right at the right time.
• 1:01:21
  And yeah, I'll always look back until the next one.
• 1:01:24
  Outwitting the Devil actually is right now.
• 1:01:27
  It is. It is the most, it's the most
• 1:01:28
  exciting book that I've read in a very, very long time because
• 1:01:33
  it it reveals the thing that keeps us from doing anything.
• 1:01:35
  Yeah. He interviews the he does a
• 1:01:37
  podcast with the devil. That's the book, really.
• 1:01:39
  It's amazing. Yeah.
• 1:01:40
  So I'll leave it there. There's a good book.
• 1:01:41
  What else? Come on.
• 1:01:42
  If you had to invest in one thing, yeah.
• 1:01:45
  What would it be? I love it.
• 1:01:46
  My health, That is the answer. I asked you to ask me that one
• 1:01:50
  because I'm 48 years old and I've been indestructible my
• 1:01:53
  whole life. I try to be a pro snowboarder.
• 1:01:54
  I've surfed big waves, I've skateboarded well into my 30s.
• 1:01:58
  I've done super gnarly shit. I've traveled all over the
• 1:02:00
  world. I've ridden in rickety
• 1:02:02
  airplanes, helicopters, and dumping snow.
• 1:02:04
  I mean, I've been in avalanche conditions.
• 1:02:06
  I've done it all and I've been indestructible.
• 1:02:08
  And for the first time in my life, I can tell that my health
• 1:02:11
  is changing, right? My, my running times just aren't
• 1:02:14
  the same and they hurt a lot more the first steps in the
• 1:02:17
  morning, they hurt and ache a little bit differently.
• 1:02:20
  My diet affects me. I, my joke is it's so it takes
• 1:02:24
  so much less time to gain weight than it takes to lose it.
• 1:02:27
  You know what I mean? Like my body just, you know, a
• 1:02:30
  hangover is 10 times where I mean, it takes me a week to
• 1:02:33
  recover from like a good night out.
• 1:02:35
  It's just, it's different. And if I look back, especially
• 1:02:38
  in my 30s, especially in my 30s, because that to me is like the
• 1:02:42
  peak, I was doing everything wrong.
• 1:02:45
  I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't hydrating.
• 1:02:47
  I was way over self medicating and specifically drinking.
• 1:02:51
  I mean, I was never really did drugs.
• 1:02:53
  I didn't do party drugs. I've dabbled, you know what I
• 1:02:55
  mean? But like, I was never that guy.
• 1:02:58
  I was kind of a late bloomer in that space if I'm being real.
• 1:03:01
  And but drinking it was like I was AI loved the knowledge of
• 1:03:07
  like good. I could tell you anything about
• 1:03:10
  the tequilas. I could say anything about
• 1:03:11
  scotches, anything about bourbons wanted to tell you
• 1:03:14
  anything about wine. That's a wide, wide array.
• 1:03:16
  But you know, I love that whining and dining, being out
• 1:03:19
  social food, drink kind of thing.
• 1:03:22
  And I drank a lot. I drank a lot socially.
• 1:03:24
  I wasn't like I didn't wake up in the morning and say I need a
• 1:03:26
  drink, but I couldn't wait to go out and like treat friends and
• 1:03:29
  family and agents and people I worked with to, to drinks.
• 1:03:32
  And I was generally overweight, under rested, not healthy, not
• 1:03:37
  exercising and and invest in your health.
• 1:03:39
  Because here's what I'm realizing now, because I didn't
• 1:03:42
  invest sooner, it's going to cost me a lot more starting now.
• 1:03:45
  Like I'm going to start working out a lot of money for
• 1:03:48
  supplements and coaches and teachers and therapies and all
• 1:03:51
  kinds of shit. So and invest in your health.
• 1:03:54
  Sounds like you need stem cells and biohacking up in your
• 1:03:56
  future. All of it.
• 1:03:58
  All of it. If you could send one text to
• 1:04:00
  your 25 year old self, what would it say?
• 1:04:02
  I love you dude, you're doing it.
• 1:04:05
  You're going to be OK. I remember that kid, kids
• 1:04:12
  fucking so scared but he also believed he could take over the
• 1:04:15
  world. I just wish I could tell him I
• 1:04:20
  was going to be OK because I thought I was going to die every
• 1:04:23
  day. I literally it was life or death
• 1:04:25
  every day. I was in fight or flight every
• 1:04:26
  day. I was winning.
• 1:04:29
  I was spirited. I loved life.
• 1:04:31
  I was doing everything I wanted to do.
• 1:04:33
  But deep down I just was like, I'm going to fucking die.
• 1:04:36
  I know I'm going to die. Yeah.
• 1:04:40
  Just tell him. I swear to God, I've been there.
• 1:04:42
  You're going to be OK. It's going to be a great run.
• 1:04:45
  You're going to change a lot of lives.
• 1:04:52
  Yeah, it's going to be OK. That's it.
• 1:04:55
  I didn't think it was going to be OK.
• 1:04:57
  I still don't think it's going to be OK.
• 1:05:00
  So yeah, just tell him it's going to be all right and hope
• 1:05:02
  he believes it. Why don't you think it's going
• 1:05:04
  to be OK now? It's just, it's muscle memory.
• 1:05:12
  That's it. It'll just be a work in
• 1:05:14
  progress, you know what I mean? Muscle memory says the
• 1:05:18
  boogeyman's right around the corner.
• 1:05:20
  And it is. That's the interesting part of
• 1:05:22
  being a human. The boogeyman is around the
• 1:05:25
  corner. You said something interesting.
• 1:05:27
  I heard you said all the work that you've done to get to
• 1:05:31
  happiness, and then you talked about happiness and then use the
• 1:05:33
  word peace. So it's interesting that you
• 1:05:35
  didn't say happiness and happiness and happiness.
• 1:05:37
  You said happiness and then you said peace.
• 1:05:38
  And what I've learned is happiness is fleeting and it
• 1:05:41
  goes away. So if you said to me like, are
• 1:05:43
  you happy? I would say right now I'm happy,
• 1:05:45
  but I know that something's going to show up in life that's
• 1:05:47
  going to challenge my happiness. But the real mission is, can I
• 1:05:51
  be at peace when I'm not happy? And I think that's the big win.
• 1:05:55
  And I'm getting closer to that. I'm getting much closer to that.
• 1:05:57
  But you know, I'm still, you know, I think if I was alone,
• 1:06:01
  because the protector provider is so ingrained in me, I saw so
• 1:06:06
  much danger in my life as a youngster that like, if I was
• 1:06:10
  alone, I'd be totally fine. But I'm like protecting my wife
• 1:06:14
  and my kids and the people who believe in me.
• 1:06:16
  Like I actually, there's a part of me it's like, I wish they
• 1:06:20
  knew. And I'm like, I don't ever want
• 1:06:22
  them to know how intensely I think about their safety, how
• 1:06:31
  much I'm consumed with protecting those people close to
• 1:06:36
  me. When I say us, it's intense.
• 1:06:41
  It's not for the faint of heart, for sure.
• 1:06:43
  Stephanie Gonzalez, my own business partner, used to say it
• 1:06:46
  must be exhausting being you. And like, it's not because I
• 1:06:50
  built it up, but like, you cracked me open where I'm like,
• 1:06:54
  it's a lot when I'm smiling and talking to you like this.
• 1:06:57
  I'm thinking about the next danger around the corner.
• 1:07:00
  I can feel it. Yeah.
• 1:07:02
  Yeah, I can feel that. You're always ready to battle.
• 1:07:08
  Yeah. Well, thank you.
• 1:07:12
  You. Got it.
• 1:07:12
  Thank you for. Sharing that thanks for being on
• 1:07:14
  the. Show thank you for watching,
• 1:07:15
  listening yeah, thanks for being boring without us it would just
• 1:07:18
  be another conversation between Hannah and.
• 1:07:20
  US, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.
• 1:07:22
  Thank you. I.
• 1:07:22
  Appreciate you know it. That's it.