Latest / The Psychic Explorer / Apparently I'm Evil: Conflict in a Spiritual Space 🔮
Transcript
- 0:09Good morning, good afternoon, good evening you
- 0:12wonderful explorers wherever you are in the world
- 0:16Welcome to the psychic explorer. I really hope
- 0:19you are doing well my friends I don't want to
- 0:22be that stereotypical Brit that gives you a weather
- 0:24forecast every time you tune in but my god It
- 0:28is so hot. We are currently experiencing an unprecedented
- 0:31heat wave in the UK in London at the moment it
- 0:35is about 40 degrees that is i think 104 for the
- 0:39american listeners and i know for the australian
- 0:42listeners that is probably nothing to you but
- 0:45believe you me when you do not have air conditioning
- 0:48when we are just not equipped for this sort of
- 0:52weather it is crazy i've worked about three four
- 0:57hours this morning in my gardening job and i
- 1:00got to about 12 o 'clock and i was like no i'm
- 1:02done i can't i can't i can't work in this heat
- 1:05it was just like being under i don't know a heat
- 1:08lamp it was just crazy so yeah i thought this
- 1:12afternoon uh my partner and i we we went to a
- 1:16little pub by the Broads which is close to us
- 1:19and i dipped my feet into the water Oh, it was
- 1:23so refreshing, so lovely. And we came back about
- 1:26an hour ago and I thought, right, let's go upstairs
- 1:28and do some recording. Let's talk about an experience
- 1:32that I have had. My word was this an experience.
- 1:39And before I do, I just want to... caveat this
- 1:42episode that this episode is not a bitching session.
- 1:45This episode is not a dramatic rehashing of they
- 1:49said this and I said that and they said this
- 1:52and then I said that. I'm not interested in that,
- 1:54but I do feel there needs to be some sort of
- 1:56context around this. For those of you who follow
- 1:59me on TikTok, Facebook and Instagram, you may
- 2:02have seen a recent video that I've released about
- 2:04an experience that I have had just the other
- 2:07night, actually. So I will just recap on that,
- 2:10but Rest assured, this episode is more about
- 2:14what that experience taught me, how I felt before,
- 2:17during and after that experience and how I intend
- 2:21to go forward. The whole point of the psychic
- 2:24explorer is to share with you, my dear listeners,
- 2:28my real, raw and honest lived experience of moving
- 2:33into the mediumship and psychic world. And it's
- 2:36not always rainbows and angels. There is a...
- 2:43I was tempted to use the phrase darker side but
- 2:46that implies something much more demonic than
- 2:50what this situation was. But there certainly
- 2:53is a shadow side to it and on Sunday I experienced
- 2:57that for the first time. So today's episode is
- 3:02relevant but it's more about an experience of
- 3:06what can happen and types of people that may
- 3:10be out there, or rather the types of people that
- 3:13are out there. And just a heads up that they
- 3:17are out there. So to give you guys context, I
- 3:21have been putting together, and I haven't spoken
- 3:23about it yet on the podcast because, well, it's
- 3:26just logistics. The episodes that have gone out
- 3:29have been recorded or were recorded before I
- 3:32put this all together and before it's all gone
- 3:35live. So this is the first recording I've done.
- 3:38after I'm comfortable with where this thing is.
- 3:42And this thing that I've been putting together
- 3:44is Sunday and Wednesday or Wednesday and Sunday
- 3:48Explorers. It is a free online Zoom room, which
- 3:52if you want to come along, dear, dear listener,
- 3:54you are more than welcome. You will find the
- 3:56details in the show notes. And this is a free
- 3:59practice space for mediums, psychics, people
- 4:04who read tarot or Oracle cards. a place for people
- 4:08to practice. On Sundays, it's about an hour and
- 4:1215 minutes long. And on Wednesdays, it's about
- 4:15two hours long. Starts at 7:15 PM UK time. And
- 4:20it's been so lovely to see my UK circle people
- 4:23and my US circle people. come together in the
- 4:27same environment. For me, it's quite surreal
- 4:30because I'm seeing these two very important parts
- 4:32or these two very important social groups coming
- 4:38together. It's always a bit strange and nerve
- 4:41-racking when that happens. I've been very conscious
- 4:44to highlight that this is not a teaching space.
- 4:47I do not teach, A, I am not at that level, and
- 4:52B, I don't have the inclination to. that is not
- 4:56where I'm at and that's not where I think I want
- 4:58to go. So all I ask when people come to this
- 5:02space is that they respect one another, that
- 5:04we are all at different stages of our development
- 5:07and to hold space for that and to respect that.
- 5:11And as the facilitator of this group, the responsibility
- 5:15is not overwhelming, but it is a big responsibility
- 5:18to make sure that people are put together in
- 5:22a safe way. that the rules of the group, the
- 5:25respect of the group are adhered to. Not only
- 5:29when I first started using Zoom for this space
- 5:32was I getting myself used to how to put people
- 5:36into breakout rooms, how to share music and sound,
- 5:40how to mute and unmute people, how to operate
- 5:43the waiting room, all the technical, logistical
- 5:46stuff. Going back to my TikTok video. The "performance"
- 5:50in the verti-commas is one thing, but the
- 5:52learning to use the actual media, the platform,
- 5:55is quite another. Then there's the promotion.
- 5:58There's the using Canva to try and put a flyer,
- 6:02an online flyer together that looks like something
- 6:05that I have genuinely put a lot of time and effort
- 6:08into producing to make sure it's not too woo
- 6:12-woo, to make sure it reflects my brand and something
- 6:15that I am comfortable with putting out there.
- 6:18and trying to find different groups that I feel
- 6:21happy advertising in and putting it into. And
- 6:24then, of course, there is the human side of things.
- 6:27How do you manage people? How do you try and
- 6:32manage the time? How do you try and make sure
- 6:35that people aren't given too much away so that
- 6:38when other people read for them, they don't know
- 6:40the information that they're giving during their
- 6:42validation? There's a whole lot of stuff. You
- 6:45know when I went into Dana or Mat Tow groups
- 6:48and their circles I didn't even think about it.
- 6:51I just turned up I did it and I went home not
- 6:55even a second thought I have so much respect
- 6:58So much respect for people that hold these spaces
- 7:02because it is not easy guys It really isn't but
- 7:05it's my choice to do it and that's all good.
- 7:07I'm happy to do it I love putting it on And I
- 7:10love the community that is building and it is
- 7:13coming from it. The question is, though, what
- 7:16happens when someone comes into that group that
- 7:20disrupts the energy? Back in episode 14, I think
- 7:24it was episode 14 when my face to face circle
- 7:27leader Nicola Ghigi said that it's really important
- 7:30to manage the energy and it's down to the circle
- 7:33leader to manage that energy. And I always took
- 7:37that on board that has rung through my ears since
- 7:41the first moment I started putting this space
- 7:44together and I wondered what would happen if
- 7:48someone came into that space and was disruptive
- 7:50or was doing something which I didn't think was
- 7:53ethical or just just wasn't comfortable with
- 7:56the group. What I'm about to say here folks is
- 8:00not a rehashing of an argument. I don't want
- 8:04to play that game, I don't want to be that dramatic,
- 8:06but I do feel it's important to give you the
- 8:08background and what happened in a non -dramatic
- 8:12way, or as much of a non -dramatic way as I can,
- 8:16to just describe my experience. This certain
- 8:20person came in, they came in for a few weeks,
- 8:22and on the first session I clocked that I wasn't
- 8:25comfortable with their interaction with people,
- 8:30shall we say, but I thought, you know what, I'm
- 8:32just learning this. This person is coming from
- 8:35outside of my group. I don't know them, they're
- 8:37brand new. Let's just see how it goes. And they
- 8:41came in a few times and each time I had feedback
- 8:45that this person was not someone who made reading
- 8:49for and reading with a comfortable experience.
- 8:53The whole point of my space is that it should
- 8:55be, and these are the rules that I say at the
- 8:57beginning of almost every session. We need to
- 9:00have respect for one another. Respect for where
- 9:02each person is within their development. You
- 9:05might be with someone who is at the beginning
- 9:07of their journey. You might be with someone who
- 9:08is five, six, ten years into their journey. Let's
- 9:12have respect for where people are. And the overwhelming
- 9:16feedback that I was getting was that this person
- 9:18was not having that respect. And I saw it a few
- 9:22times. Now, as I say, this is my baby. This is
- 9:25my brand new thing that I am putting a lot of
- 9:27energy and a lot of effort into. And this person
- 9:31was being argumentative. And one of the things
- 9:36that we are taught in mediumship is self -development.
- 9:40Mediumship is 90 % self -development. You need
- 9:44to look into yourself. You need to look at where
- 9:46you are in your life. What are your traumas?
- 9:49What are your issues? Because the more you can
- 9:53get, not over, but the more you understand those
- 9:56and the more you can get past those, the more
- 10:00your mediumship will sing, will rise. And I think
- 10:04there's so much in that, really, because as I
- 10:07said on this podcast, as I said on Kelsey Anderson's
- 10:10podcast, it's amazing - "Reclamation" if you haven't
- 10:13heard that, go and see, go and listen to her,
- 10:15my episode on her podcast. But when, the better
- 10:19we understand ourselves, the better we understand
- 10:22each other and the better we're able to understand
- 10:27and interpret the messages and the signals that
- 10:30we are being given from beyond, whatever that
- 10:33means to you. It was very clear to me that for
- 10:36as long as this person has been doing mediumship
- 10:39for, or rather for as long as this person said
- 10:41that they have been doing mediumship for, there
- 10:44probably was more growth to do within themselves.
- 10:47And that's fine. That is absolutely fine. However,
- 10:52as a facilitator, I need to make sure that other
- 10:55people are safe. I need to make sure that other
- 10:58people are not made to feel uncomfortable and
- 11:02that this space is supportive, that this space
- 11:05is somewhere that you can fall flat on your face.
- 11:10and not be picked up on it and not be made to
- 11:12feel like you should have done better. And the
- 11:15feedback I was getting was that that is not what
- 11:17this person was doing, especially in the one
- 11:20on one breakout rooms. It was it was not great
- 11:23feedback that I had had. So this was something
- 11:26new to me. This was not an experience that I
- 11:29had to deal with with my mediumship or as far
- 11:32as my mediumship is concerned. This was not a
- 11:34case of I need to change the way that I practice
- 11:36rather. It was about me and how I handle things
- 11:41as a host, as a leader, as that facilitator.
- 11:45What I realized in that moment, and I don't mean
- 11:48to sound pompous, I really don't, but what I've
- 11:50really noticed in that moment was just how important
- 11:54my instinct to protect the group, to protect
- 11:58other people and to hold integrity. I realized
- 12:02just how important that was to me and I knew
- 12:04I had to deal with it. I knew this person was
- 12:06not able to come back into the space. And you
- 12:10know what? As much as that made me feel slightly
- 12:15awkward, I was happy with that. I was happy with
- 12:18that decision, the decision that I had come to.
- 12:21So this person keeps trying to come into the
- 12:23room. When you come into the space, you're placed
- 12:27into a waiting room where you're told the general
- 12:30details and the timings and the general rules.
- 12:33and then I can admit people when they come in.
- 12:36Now I have, as the host, I have the ability to
- 12:39admit or not admit people. I didn't have this
- 12:44person's email because this person doesn't use
- 12:46an email to log in to Zoom. So... Whenever they
- 12:50came in to the waiting room, I couldn't go and
- 12:53speak to them separately because I had a group
- 12:55of people already there waiting to start the
- 12:57session. So I couldn't do that. So instead what
- 12:59I did was send them a message in the waiting
- 13:02room, a private message in the waiting room.
- 13:04Unfortunately, this person did not see that for
- 13:06several weeks and they didn't see it. They kept
- 13:09coming and trying to get in for several weeks.
- 13:11Each time I just sent them the message and waited
- 13:15for them to go. I presume they weren't really
- 13:18in because they kept trying to enter the room.
- 13:21Now on Sunday, well by the time that this goes
- 13:24out, Sunday two weeks ago, I saw someone come
- 13:27in with a different name and of course I didn't
- 13:30know who they were so I just admitted them and
- 13:32it was this person. So I carried on as normal.
- 13:40I thought it's fine, okay, it's fine, it's all
- 13:44good. And interestingly enough, a person messaged
- 13:48me afterwards and said when they saw this person
- 13:50come into the room, they were like, oh God, please
- 13:53don't put me with this person. And that is the
- 13:55level we're at. In these sessions I put people
- 13:59on one -on -one breakout rooms because I think
- 14:01it's really important to be able to practice
- 14:03your mediumship one -on -one. Many practice groups,
- 14:08the format is a general platform style. So people
- 14:11go into the group, into the room and it's many
- 14:15many people in the room and when you feel that
- 14:17you want to give a reading, you put your virtual
- 14:20hand up and you give your reading in a platform
- 14:23environment. I like that, but I do feel that
- 14:27these practice sessions are missing a one -on
- 14:30-one element, and that is what I like to try
- 14:32and give in my spaces. So once I'd paired everyone
- 14:36up and put them into their breakout rooms, I
- 14:38made sure that I put him with me in a separate
- 14:41breakout room. I was not going to do this publicly.
- 14:43I wanted to be as professional as I could, and
- 14:45I did this as privately as I could. So I put
- 14:47us into a separate breakout room, just us. Yeah,
- 14:52and... I asked them how they were and went, tried
- 14:56to make it as polite as possible. And I said
- 14:59to them that I've been trying to reach out to
- 15:01them, but I don't think that they were getting
- 15:03the messages. And they said, no, I've received
- 15:05no message. And I said, okay, I have tried, I
- 15:10have received feedback from several people that
- 15:13when they are reading with you, the readings
- 15:16that they give you and the readings that they
- 15:19get back and the feedback and the validation.
- 15:22are very uncomfortable. And before I could even
- 15:25finish my sentence, he launched off in a tirade,
- 15:30a really angry tirade, telling me that I was
- 15:33an evil person, that I was horrible, that the
- 15:37space that I provide is a negative space, and
- 15:40that that is the reason that this person couldn't
- 15:43get a connection with spirit, because his spirit
- 15:46team were withholding information because he
- 15:48knew, he knew that I was an evil person. and
- 15:52that is why he couldn't get connection and that
- 15:57his spirit team didn't want to give me a message
- 15:59or didn't want to give a message within my platform
- 16:01because it was not a safe, it was not a nice
- 16:04environment. The second that he started that,
- 16:09I knew I was validated in not allowing him into
- 16:13the space and from protecting other people in
- 16:16my space from him. He went off and told me he
- 16:21was going to destroy my name, that he knew loads
- 16:25of different people in the area, or rather in
- 16:29the community, and that he was going to destroy
- 16:32my name, drag my name through mud, and kept repeating
- 16:35that I was an evil, evil person. I was so proud
- 16:41of myself because I kept my composure. I was
- 16:44trying to just be as calm as possible. I explained
- 16:48to him that I needed to protect people if they
- 16:52felt uncomfortable with this reader. I'm sorry
- 16:54that he felt that way, but I needed to protect
- 16:57my group of people. I know I'm overusing the
- 17:01word space, so I apologize. I'll try and refrain
- 17:03from using it from this moment forth. And I felt
- 17:08sick. My heart was pumping so hard. I swear it
- 17:14was going to burst out of my chest. I was so
- 17:18full of fight or flight adrenaline. I didn't
- 17:21know what to do with myself because this person
- 17:24was just on a screen. He was saying that he was
- 17:27recording the entire conversation and that he
- 17:29was going to spread it everywhere and tell everyone
- 17:32how terrible the person that I was. I was expecting
- 17:36this at some point from someone. I was expecting
- 17:39confrontation. You don't go into mediumship.
- 17:42You can't go into mediumship and thinking it's
- 17:44going to be fluffy bunnies and unicorns. and
- 17:47everyone's sunshine, light and rainbows, because
- 17:51they just don't exist. You only have to be on
- 17:53TikTok for five seconds to realize that there
- 17:57are people out there trying to troll people.
- 17:59And that's, unfortunately, it's part of the game.
- 18:02It's part of the business. It's just part of
- 18:04it. And you know, I love skeptics. That's fine.
- 18:08And that's where I thought it was going to come
- 18:09from. I thought it was going to come from some
- 18:11Christian zealot. who was going to tell me that
- 18:14I was channeling demons and the devil and that
- 18:17I was going to go to hell because I was talking
- 18:20to Lucifer or whatever it might be. That's where
- 18:23I was expecting this to come from. Not from someone
- 18:26within our own community, within my, well, within
- 18:29this community. I've got several communities,
- 18:32but within this community. I was glad it happened.
- 18:36It was really uncomfortable. and I knew that
- 18:40I had done the right thing because you are not
- 18:43a spiritual person or at least in my books you
- 18:47are not as spiritual as that person thought they
- 18:51were if they are going to threaten to drag someone
- 18:55else's name through the mud because of feedback
- 18:58that person has given them off the back of my
- 19:02personal observation and feedback I'd had from
- 19:04people within the group. It wasn't nice. I felt
- 19:08sick. I knew I couldn't do any readings. From
- 19:11that session, normally I put myself into a group
- 19:15to participate. I couldn't. I just sat back,
- 19:20let everyone else do their stuff, and I just
- 19:22managed the room from behind the scenes after
- 19:25they logged out. It was a great lesson. I'm still
- 19:30not entirely sure what the lesson is, apart from
- 19:35learning that this is going to happen to all
- 19:37of us sooner or later. I'm sure everyone listening
- 19:39to this, if you are developing, and this is not
- 19:44to put anyone off because, you know, it happens,
- 19:47but we're all going to come across people like
- 19:49this. We're going to come across people we like
- 19:51and people we don't like, people we get on with,
- 19:53people we don't get on with. And just because
- 19:56we are all channeling spirit, because we are
- 19:59mediums and we are developing psychics and whatever
- 20:02else label you want to put onto it, does not
- 20:05mean we are all singing from the same hymn sheet.
- 20:09There are some people out there who have got
- 20:11an ego to feed. And I'm just glad that it put,
- 20:16you know what, that's just what it is. This is
- 20:17what it is. It put my principles to the test.
- 20:21I could have just let it carry on because I was
- 20:24too afraid of confrontation. And I don't like
- 20:27confrontation, but when I see injustices in the
- 20:30world, in my day -to -day life, when I see things
- 20:33are not right, I do call them out. I do. It's
- 20:37my duty as a human being to make my environment
- 20:40better, to call out the shit when I see it. And
- 20:43I did the same here, and I'm so glad that I did,
- 20:46because it means that I have. I like to think...
- 20:50And I hope it is felt within my group, within
- 20:54Sunday and Wednesday explorers that it is a safe
- 20:57space, that it's somewhere for people to come.
- 21:01And if they do make a mistake, as we all do,
- 21:07if they don't give a reading as well as they
- 21:11had hoped that it is taken in good grace. and
- 21:15a lesson is learned from that experience. In
- 21:18an environment where they're not going to be
- 21:20belittled, in an environment where they're not
- 21:22going to be made to feel silly. Going back to
- 21:26what I said a minute ago about the perception
- 21:29of the spiritual community of being love, light
- 21:31and rainbows. We are human. Everyone who participates
- 21:36in this art, because I believe it is an art,
- 21:41is human. And with that comes wounds come baggage.
- 21:47And just because someone is channeling love,
- 21:50light and rainbows does not necessarily mean
- 21:53that that person doing the channeling is healed
- 21:56from their wounds. And it doesn't mean that when
- 22:00you confront them about how they make other people
- 22:03feel as graceful as you can try and deliver that
- 22:07does not mean that they are going to receive
- 22:10that with the grace you have tried to deliver
- 22:13it in. So today's episode is not all about my
- 22:18mediumship. It is not about readings. It is not
- 22:22about my self -doubt. In fact, if anything, this
- 22:25episode is about the certainty I had when so
- 22:29often in this world, on this path, I have experienced
- 22:32self -doubt. I felt certainty that I was doing
- 22:36the right thing in protecting other people in
- 22:40that group again. at risk of overusing, using
- 22:43that word again, other people in that space,
- 22:47protecting them from someone, from an energy.
- 22:51And I don't mean that as in negative connotations
- 22:55that that may have, but protecting them from
- 22:58that vibe so that everyone can practice in safety.
- 23:03I hope all that makes sense, and I really hope
- 23:06that this episode does not come across as a mud
- 23:09-slinging episode. That is not my intention.
- 23:12You know, I wish this person well. I wish this
- 23:16person positivity in their development. And I
- 23:19guess, you know, what is the purpose of this?
- 23:22What's the moral of the story? Well, the moral
- 23:23of the story, I guess, is that we're not always
- 23:25going to come across people in this community
- 23:27who are on our wavelength. We're all different.
- 23:30Like I say, we're all human, so... Just that
- 23:34really. Like I say, I hope all that makes sense.
- 23:37It's just a reflection of my recent experience
- 23:40that I have had. And I hope that goes some way
- 23:44to revealing the honesty of what is out there.
- 23:49So yeah. If you've come across something like
- 23:53this, I'd love to hear about it. Not in a gossipy
- 23:56way, but I'd love to know. I know I'm not alone.
- 24:00I've had people message me already saying, this
- 24:03is common. If I've had one good friend that's
- 24:07messaged me after this and saying to me that
- 24:10some of the worst people that they have met have
- 24:15been from the so -called spiritual people because
- 24:18the ego gets in the way and it is that ego and
- 24:23yeah I'm very conscious when I do this that I
- 24:27don't want my ego to get in the way but I think
- 24:30I'm going to use this as an example. to prove
- 24:33that that is not my case, that I do care and
- 24:37it's not all about me, that it's about other
- 24:39people as well. If you are interested in coming
- 24:43to Wednesday and Sunday explorers after all that
- 24:47I promise you it's a lovely environment it is
- 24:49safe and if you want to practice your mediumship
- 24:53if you want to practice your psychic abilities
- 24:54if you want to practice your tarot or your oracle
- 24:58card readings this is a really lovely environment
- 25:01to do it in an opportunity for you to maybe read
- 25:04for people who come from different parts of the
- 25:07world from yourself I said in the New Year's
- 25:10episode back in January or was it December, end
- 25:13of December, beginning of January that this year
- 25:15I was going to try and practice, practice, practice
- 25:17and yeah this is just a space to do that. So
- 25:20if you are feeling like you would like to practice,
- 25:22if you are feeling like you would like to practice
- 25:27in a safe environment then do come along. Follow
- 25:30me on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok for notifications
- 25:36to when it's on and where to find it. If you
- 25:39follow me on Instagram, normally on the day of
- 25:43the session of the practice circle, I put a story
- 25:46up and it has a direct link so you can access
- 25:48it directly. Otherwise, you can find the meeting
- 25:52code and the passcode on the flyers that I've
- 25:55put out digitally, and you can also look in the
- 25:58podcast notes. show notes below this episode
- 26:01for direct links as well. Guys, thank you so
- 26:04much for listening I really appreciate your time
- 26:06today. The next episode is with the marvellous
- 26:10Meli Guidance. We are going across the pond
- 26:12yet again, but this time we're going north of
- 26:14the border. We're going to Canada. And Meli
- 26:17Guidance specializes and focuses in the Akashic
- 26:20records and past -life psychic readings. So it's
- 26:24a very interesting, slightly sidestep for me,
- 26:28but very interesting conversation which I really
- 26:31hope you will enjoy. But until then, I am sending
- 26:34you all my love. Take care, guys. Bye.