Latest / Beyond Fulfillment Podcast / Building Businesses Without Burnout: Self-Care for High Performers with David Kubes

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Building Businesses Without Burnout: Self-Care for High Performers with David Kubes · Beyond Fulfillment Podcast

• 0:05
  If there is anything that relaxes you, that is joyful for you to regain and recharge your batteries, that's the one thing you want to put in in your calendar like the most important business meeting.
• 0:17
  Today's guest is David Kubas, a world renowned attorney with a background in aviation law, international finance and high stakes contract negotiation.
• 0:27
  About a decade ago, David made a bold pivot and transitioning from his legal career to becoming a leading executive coach and a global ambassador for Access Consciousness.
• 0:39
  In this episode, David shares his personal journey from lawyer to coach.
• 0:43
  After witnessing the toll that stress takes on high performers, we'll dive deep into the realities of entrepreneurship, the struggles with burnout and the stigma around asking for help.
• 0:56
  David also unpacks powerful strategies for maintaining joy, energy and authenticity, revealing how embracing your uniqueness and letting go of self judgment can lead to true fulfillment in life and business.
• 1:10
  If you're an entrepreneur or executive, you won't want to miss this eye openening conversation.
• 1:16
  As always, if you found value from this content, please like and subscribe.
• 1:21
  All right, David Kubas, welcome to Beyond Fulfillment.
• 1:26
  Thank you, Dave.
• 1:27
  And thank you for having me on your podcast today.
• 1:30
  Absolutely.
• 1:30
  We appreciate you being here and excited for this conversation.
• 1:35
  So David, yeah, you've got quite an interesting background as an attorney in finance and aviation.
• 1:43
  And then about a decade ago you transitioned into executive coaching and that's really what you're growing mostly is that business called access, Access Consciousness.
• 1:57
  Can you just talk about how, how you got into that?
• 2:01
  Well, I, I became a lawyer out of passion because I wanted to be that.
• 2:07
  I, I didn't go to, to court.
• 2:10
  I'm not a solicitor.
• 2:11
  I was trained in negotiating contracts.
• 2:17
  I was in aviation law.
• 2:19
  I loved dealing with different cultures, traveling a lot.
• 2:25
  But over time I got physically exhausted and I remember that one big transaction closing that we had when we were all waiting for another colleague to arrive at the signing at the law firm where everybody, everything should be
• 2:41
  signed.
• 2:41
  But he never showed up.
• 2:43
  And two hours later his secretary called.
• 2:46
  He dropped dead on the way to the closing page, having a heart attack.
• 2:51
  And that was a big scandal in, you know, in the, in the area of aviation lawyers because there are not many around the world.
• 3:00
  So we all started to, to think a bit about how our passion for what we love doing turns into neglecting our body and how many people actually suffer from certain, you know, certain stress symptoms.
• 3:18
  But it also turned out that as a lawyer or as an entrepreneur or as someone people look up to, if you're the CEO, if you are the guy Delivering the product.
• 3:28
  If you're the lawyer consulting, you're not allowed to talk about your problems or your weaknesses.
• 3:33
  If you say, I didn't sleep well, I'm tired, they go, ooh, he's not at his best.
• 3:37
  Let's look for someone stronger.
• 3:39
  So I became aware of all this shame that goes along with showing weaknesses, with the stress that everybody has to put up, especially as a top executive, as a lawyer, as someone people look up to.
• 3:53
  So I didn't want to end up like that.
• 3:55
  So I started looking for alternative, energetic methods.
• 4:01
  Working out yoga, meditation, breathing techniques.
• 4:05
  I didn't want to end up like that.
• 4:07
  I wanted to bring back the joy and the enthusiasm that I started with.
• 4:13
  I started looking for methods and I found one 10 years ago.
• 4:17
  It's called Access Consciousness, especially access bars.
• 4:21
  It is an energetic treatment on your head that is so efficient.
• 4:29
  30 minute session replaces like 2 hours of meditation or for me, 6 hours of sleep.
• 4:37
  That's when I thought, wow, if I could share with the world that there is a pragmatic, fast way available so people can enjoy their work and their family life.
• 4:49
  Creative people want it all, they want it now.
• 4:52
  But the body just doesn't keep up with the amount of stress we put on it.
• 4:57
  So my, my goal in life became to, to see more happy, creative people in these high positions.
• 5:04
  It's not required anymore to drawn yourself out and destroy your body in favor of your career.
• 5:12
  And it's the minute I started talking about it, people got so interested.
• 5:18
  So over the last 10 years, it almost became my main income stream.
• 5:25
  Educating and coaching people on taking care of themselves, but also not making them wrong for being workaholics or wanting to work so much.
• 5:36
  That's, that's my story.
• 5:38
  I'm still a lawyer.
• 5:39
  I still do both.
• 5:41
  But there's one thing I've never been since I started this.
• 5:45
  It's being physically exhausted or overwhelmed or almost burned out.
• 5:52
  And that is a state of being that I would wish for everyone out there who loves their job, who loves to live, who wants everything at the same time that is actually possible.
• 6:07
  Okay, love that so much.
• 6:09
  To unpack there in everything you just detailed for us.
• 6:13
  And we appreciate that.
• 6:15
  So let's just start before we get into your practice and what you do with the coaching and whatnot.
• 6:18
  I mean, you hit on some really important, I think, societal points.
• 6:24
  I mean, well, number one, right?
• 6:26
  CEOs, entrepreneurs, hi.
• 6:28
  High performers, top executives, right.
• 6:31
  Like you said that they're, they're looked at as like you.
• 6:36
  It's, it's no matter what's going on in your life, you're supposed to leave it at the door and just, you're supposed to be on when it's, when it's time to work, when it's time to perform.
• 6:44
  And like you said, it's almost like, almost like an unwritten rule.
• 6:49
  Like you don't even talk about that stuff.
• 6:51
  Like it's, just deal with it.
• 6:52
  Right?
• 6:52
  So I mean, how, how big of an issue do you see that is for, for entrepreneurs, executives, you know, CEOs, that, that type of crowd in terms of dealing with these, you know, these issues?
• 7:09
  It is, it is called the weakness.
• 7:10
  You swipe it under the carpet and you're not allowed to mention it, which creates a big conflict within that person because they know they are exhausted.
• 7:22
  They know it's a lot.
• 7:23
  But saying it out loud or even going, oh my God, I'm exhausted is a weakness that would risk them to lose their job or lose a client or lose their reputation.
• 7:35
  I can only inspire people.
• 7:39
  The greatest strength you can be out there is asking for help.
• 7:44
  My mission is that asking for help becomes the new strength in a CEO.
• 7:50
  Because nobody has learned or is designed to deal with today's stress.
• 7:56
  We are functioning from a leader model from the 1980s.
• 8:02
  Yeah, but in the 1980s you sent a letter, mailed it by post and got a reply two days later.
• 8:09
  Today, everything is instant.
• 8:11
  We are connected 24 hours with everyone around the world instantaneously.
• 8:17
  WhatsApp teams, meetings, Zoom meetings, email, text messages that didn't exist when the leader model of a modern society developed itself in the 1980s.
• 8:31
  So we need to be aware that something big changed.
• 8:35
  So we have to change the way we look at our body.
• 8:39
  We look at our well being and we look at our body functions.
• 8:43
  And being exhausted or taking good care of ourselves must become a new role model element in our world.
• 8:54
  We, we've seen this in, in Japan.
• 8:58
  The Japanese had to deal with the highest suicide rate in the management level.
• 9:04
  And Japan introduced 20 years ago the power napping in the afternoon.
• 9:09
  Now taking a nap, I mean it was absolutely impossible to sleep during working hours.
• 9:14
  The Japanese culture was like, oh my God, this is the ultimate sign of weakness.
• 9:19
  And even today if you want to take a nap, you are lazy.
• 9:22
  Japan introduced power napping as something you want to do to even perform better in the afternoon.
• 9:31
  And today if you build an office building, if you run a company, you have to have in the office premises ready so people can take a power nap.
• 9:41
  And a 20 minute power nap is obligatory by law in Japan.
• 9:47
  So they did a great way changing that paradigm that way to look at how people take good care of yourself.
• 9:55
  You don't need to do power napping.
• 9:57
  A lot of people have difficulties or going, oh, I'm more exhausted after a power nap.
• 10:04
  But there are other techniques and methods that you can implement and they all start with the way you look at yourself and literally the judgments you have about yourself for what desires you have.
• 10:16
  So there is a way out.
• 10:17
  And I can only encourage everyone, if there is anything that relaxes you, that is joyful for you to regain and recharge your batteries, that's the one thing you want to put in your calendar.
• 10:29
  Like the most important business meeting.
• 10:31
  Whether it's yoga, pilates or just going for a walk, treat it as your most important business meeting and take good care of yourself.
• 10:42
  It on a long run will improve your well being and your, your lifestyle.
• 10:52
  Yeah, I love that.
• 10:53
  Okay, now another thing you mentioned earlier was, you know, and this, this channel is, is mostly entrepreneurs.
• 11:00
  So people that are very deeply involved in their work and passionate about building something.
• 11:08
  And you mentioned that workaholics and it's okay to love your work and it's okay to spend majority of your time, you know, building something that you love.
• 11:18
  But the key is to treat your body in a way where you have the energy to where it's joyful and you're not dancing with burnout, so to speak.
• 11:27
  So I mean, can you, can you talk, you know, at least with your clients and what you see, how big of an issue is that where people are in this workaholic state, but it's, it's not healthy.
• 11:39
  Well, my point of view, being a workaholic is not wrong.
• 11:42
  That's the judgment of this society.
• 11:45
  And what I found the most interesting discussion out there is to find a work life balance.
• 11:52
  An entrepreneur doesn't go to work and then quit work and live.
• 11:57
  For an entrepreneur, working is living and living is working.
• 12:01
  So number one, get over the point of view that you need a life work or work life balance.
• 12:07
  If you're an entrepreneur, you are living.
• 12:11
  End of the story, full dot.
• 12:14
  The question is, how can you actually enjoy living?
• 12:18
  There is no difference for an entrepreneur, there is no difference in working and living.
• 12:23
  At least not for me and not at least for the people.
• 12:25
  I know.
• 12:26
  People are being tortured when they have to do vacation.
• 12:30
  People are going, oh my God, I have to go to this dinner party.
• 12:33
  I would so love to finish this project.
• 12:35
  That's okay.
• 12:37
  And that's number One, entrepreneurs should get over the point of view that they should be normal.
• 12:45
  They should literally acknowledge, no, I love working and it is okay.
• 12:50
  And we still live in a society that requires us to spend time with family to do the socializing.
• 12:57
  You know that there are ways.
• 12:59
  But number one, just acknowledge that you love working and that you don't need a life work balance, otherwise you would be an employee.
• 13:07
  So the concept of work balance is designed for employees, but not for entrepreneurs.
• 13:12
  And what can you add to your life to keep the level of, of joy as high as possible?
• 13:19
  And what I found out is stop judging yourself for who you are.
• 13:23
  Stop judging yourself that you're a workaholic and just look at what is.
• 13:28
  If you want to change something that stresses you in your life, you need to just see it and address it.
• 13:34
  So everyone out there listening who loves the work and is an entrepreneur, ask yourself, be very honest with yourself, brutally honest with yourself.
• 13:43
  Are you a workaholic and do you love it?
• 13:45
  Yes.
• 13:45
  Okay, well, there are ways to, to live a joyful life.
• 13:51
  You don't have to give up your family, you don't have to give up your friends.
• 13:55
  Your friends.
• 13:56
  You won't get lost in work if you stop judging yourself for being a workaholic.
• 14:01
  That's the first step.
• 14:03
  Acknowledge and appreciate for who you are.
• 14:05
  And don't try to fit in an employee's mindset.
• 14:08
  That won't work.
• 14:12
  Okay, all right, so let's, let's talk about your coaching practice.
• 14:17
  Practice, access, consciousness.
• 14:19
  So what, what's the core problem that you solve?
• 14:23
  And like what, what, what do you typically see when, when clients come to you and what do you help them, you know, solve?
• 14:31
  Clients are mostly overwhelmed or have this inner conflict with themselves by working too much and not having enough time, being overweight, not doing enough workout, neglecting their family in favor of their business, and all this stuff.
• 14:47
  It's most self judgments for what they choose and the lack of, of, of modalities that help them recover fast physically.
• 15:01
  Our mind is so fast.
• 15:03
  Our mind is 10 times faster than any body function we have.
• 15:06
  We think 10 times faster than we can write or type.
• 15:11
  What people should learn is to include their body in their life.
• 15:15
  And yes, we all want to work 30 hours a day, eight days a week.
• 15:20
  Unfortunately, that's not possible.
• 15:23
  So what can you add and how can you include the body in this daily living?
• 15:31
  But as I said before, number one, stop judging for self, for who you are.
• 15:36
  Instead of ask what can I add to my life to have more ease with everything?
• 15:41
  And Taking care of your body is essential.
• 15:45
  And the body functions are different than our mind.
• 15:48
  It's not as fast, it's not as quickly, it needs recovery time, it needs food, it needs energy.
• 15:55
  So the first thing is always, okay, so what's fun for you doing?
• 15:59
  And also don't by the lies or the, you know, the suggestion from this strategy.
• 16:05
  Not everybody needs to go to the gym.
• 16:07
  Not everybody wants to have a, I don't know, athletic body with a six pack.
• 16:12
  Okay, Nobody has to have that.
• 16:15
  I always encourage my clients, find out what's fun for you.
• 16:20
  Recharging your batteries, what recovers you, how do you recharge your, your batteries and find your individual way.
• 16:31
  There are people who love to work at night.
• 16:34
  They are night owls, but not early birds.
• 16:37
  Some people are early birds.
• 16:38
  If you're an entrepreneur and it's on you when you work, don't feel guilty when you're up all night and sleep until noon.
• 16:45
  So these are some of the techniques that I introduce.
• 16:50
  It's under that umbrella.
• 16:52
  Stop trying to be normal.
• 16:54
  Whatever you learn at the university, whatever you see out there, whatever society sells you as Norma, don't try to be that.
• 17:01
  Find what works for you.
• 17:04
  Working hours, recovering yourself, how you be.
• 17:08
  Entrepreneurs are unique.
• 17:10
  They're entrepreneurs because they are different.
• 17:12
  So stop trying to be normal and ask what, what's fun for you?
• 17:18
  What makes your heart open?
• 17:20
  What is, what brings you joy?
• 17:22
  Start with that and add that to your daily routine and you will start, you will start enjoying everything way more.
• 17:33
  Okay.
• 17:34
  All right.
• 17:35
  And what do you see too is with entrepreneurs in terms of the self judgment too?
• 17:40
  Do you find that most of the clients that come to you, they're struggling with that issue in terms of.
• 17:47
  Well, they have to like they feel guilty about working too much.
• 17:51
  Well, they, they feel guilty for working too much.
• 17:54
  If they have families or friends, you know, social circles, sometimes they feel guilty because they don't work enough.
• 18:03
  Most entrepreneurs compare themselves to others and try to fit in a certain box.
• 18:10
  I want to encourage them.
• 18:11
  Every individual out in the world is so unique.
• 18:15
  No one on planet Earth Earth really looks like each other.
• 18:18
  Not even twins.
• 18:19
  Their parents will always know who is who.
• 18:21
  And then we try to define a normal.
• 18:24
  There is no normal, especially in an entrepreneur's world.
• 18:29
  The uniqueness of everyone.
• 18:32
  What is my uniqueness?
• 18:34
  That's what I inspire people to embrace.
• 18:37
  And really giving up to fitting into any norm, expectation of others or image that you should be.
• 18:48
  A lot of people try to create a certain image in order to, I always say Listen, be as unique as you are and you will attract people you have never even thought of.
• 18:57
  In the unique, in the uniqueness lies the success of an entrepreneur.
• 19:03
  Not into, how can I appear more normal?
• 19:07
  How can I fit in more?
• 19:08
  That's what creates most of those conflicts that I have to deal with.
• 19:15
  People think they have to fit in.
• 19:16
  No, be as crazy as you are and people will want more of you.
• 19:23
  Okay, Love that.
• 19:24
  Love that.
• 19:25
  All right, and so let's talk about your coaching practice specifically.
• 19:29
  So you made a bold pivot and went into this field after being a lawyer and negotiating high stakes contracts.
• 19:36
  What?
• 19:36
  You know, being in such a.
• 19:39
  Seems like just such.
• 19:40
  Such a 180 in terms of being.
• 19:41
  Being a lawyer to a, you know, a coach.
• 19:44
  Like, what was the process like growing this business to where it became like the majority of your income?
• 19:51
  So I didn't notice at the beginning.
• 19:54
  It was my colleagues and my clients who literally started asking, hey, what are you doing?
• 19:59
  You're never stressed.
• 20:00
  You never have jet lag.
• 20:02
  You don't age as fast as we are.
• 20:05
  We are working with you for like 10 years now.
• 20:08
  You still look the same.
• 20:09
  They asked me, what are you doing?
• 20:11
  And I said, well, if you are happy and if you take good care of your body, then you are.
• 20:19
  Your natural state of being is happiness.
• 20:22
  This is how we came in.
• 20:24
  Young children are naturally happy, but this is what we all can still be.
• 20:29
  So I noticed through other people and then I was asked, you know, to present on certain topics.
• 20:35
  I was asked by a client to train their own stuff.
• 20:39
  So it naturally occurred as I started being it.
• 20:44
  And this is how I noticed it.
• 20:47
  And I think this is also how we can all find what really fulfills us.
• 20:52
  Don't try to look for it.
• 20:54
  Do what works for you.
• 20:55
  Do what's fun for you, and it will show up.
• 21:00
  Other people will notice and other people will ask you.
• 21:03
  That's how I transitioned.
• 21:05
  And then I started doing seminars, then I started doing classes.
• 21:10
  Then I started becoming the ambassador of access consciousness for Access Smiles, which is a stress release relief technique that I absolutely adore.
• 21:22
  It literally presented itself to me.
• 21:26
  I didn't plan anything.
• 21:28
  I didn't have a business plan.
• 21:30
  It occurred as I started enjoying what I'm doing.
• 21:35
  Love that.
• 21:35
  Okay.
• 21:36
  And talk about, because you mentioned with entrepreneurs and you know, overwhelm and burnout being such an issue.
• 21:47
  And oftentimes, you know, part of the.
• 21:51
  What this show is about is really presenting the realities of entrepreneurship because oftentimes it's glamorized.
• 21:57
  And when people really are on the outside looking in.
• 22:00
  They don't understand what entrepreneurs go go through in terms of stress, anxiety, pa, all sorts of issues.
• 22:08
  And oftentimes it's anything but glamorous.
• 22:10
  And so many fail, right?
• 22:13
  With high hopes, high ambitions.
• 22:14
  But talk about the results.
• 22:16
  You've seen helping people make this shift to really enjoying it and doing what lights them up and adding that in and taking care of themselves.
• 22:26
  I mean, what type of tangible business results have you seen once you get people on that path?
• 22:33
  Well, most people actually really started making good money or perform much better the minute they gave up trying to be perfect.
• 22:43
  The willingness to fail, the willingness to go, hey, I'm not perfect.
• 22:50
  That vulnerability and willingness to ask for help.
• 22:56
  A lot of people go, oh my God.
• 22:57
  They don't want to lose what they have.
• 23:00
  And I always say, listen, if that doesn't make you happy, if you are stressed with what you have, you have to be willing to lose it all.
• 23:07
  But also knowing if you actually lost it all, you could just start new all over again.
• 23:13
  That's the mindset of entrepreneur.
• 23:17
  That fear of losing is what society tells us.
• 23:21
  So the fear of losing the image, the fear of losing money.
• 23:24
  I have clients who lost a lot of money in certain projects, and I always say, listen, in order to lose $5 million, you need to make $5 million first and then lose it.
• 23:35
  But if you made it once, you can made it twice.
• 23:39
  So what would it take to make twice as much money that I just lost in half of the time?
• 23:45
  Take the significance out of it, the significance of the image we have, the success we think we need to have.
• 23:54
  The purpose of life is having fun and enjoying life.
• 23:58
  A lot of people try to accumulate certain assets that they then leave to their heirs.
• 24:05
  Why not enjoying life and enjoying the roller coaster Life can be.
• 24:09
  I mean, amusement parks make money with roller coasters.
• 24:13
  People pay to have that sensation of up and down.
• 24:16
  And when their own life is a roller coaster, why do they complain?
• 24:20
  There's a way to enjoy it all by taking out the significance and by literally letting go of the fear of losing.
• 24:27
  Whether it's money, image, reputation, that has no value.
• 24:34
  What has way more value is you.
• 24:37
  How do you feel?
• 24:38
  What is fun for you, and who do you want to be today?
• 24:42
  That should be the value of an entrepreneur and not their image and their reputation.
• 24:50
  Okay?
• 24:51
  And I mean, what, what type of, like, techniques or strategies?
• 24:54
  You know, like, if someone, let's say someone comes to you and they have that fear, they're stressed, maybe they're just Getting by in their business.
• 25:03
  They have these fears, these pressures are overwhelmed and they come to you.
• 25:06
  How do you get people to, to give up that fear of losing and kind of like, see, see that new perspective like you're talking about?
• 25:13
  Well, the question I, the technique I use, access consciousness is based on asking questions.
• 25:20
  I've never in 10 years doing coaching told someone what to do.
• 25:24
  Why?
• 25:25
  Because I don't know what works for you.
• 25:29
  If you are hungry, I can't eat for you.
• 25:31
  If you need to pee, I can't go to the toilet for you.
• 25:35
  But I can inspire you to find out what works for you.
• 25:38
  So I always start with my catalog of questions.
• 25:41
  I literally don't give answers.
• 25:43
  I ask you and train you to find out what works for you because you are the only one who can know, which is very different to other coaching techniques.
• 25:52
  A lot of clients say, listen, give me the answer.
• 25:55
  This is what I pay you for.
• 25:56
  And then I say, well, then you need to find another coach.
• 25:58
  I'm not giving answers because I can't know what works for you.
• 26:02
  If I like certain meals, I like certain tastes, it's individual.
• 26:08
  And we are so individual, we are so unique.
• 26:10
  So I use a set of questions to empower you and encourage you to find out what works for you because you are the only one who can know.
• 26:22
  You have the talent and you have your unique abilities.
• 26:26
  They are very different from mine.
• 26:29
  So instead of telling people what they should do, I empower them to find out themselves by asking them questions.
• 26:36
  Because only then can they evolve and develop their own uniqueness.
• 26:41
  And that's what makes life worth living.
• 26:45
  The diversity, the difference we all are the uniqueness we all are.
• 26:50
  The most beautiful thing on planet earth is everything is so unique, everything is so different.
• 26:56
  So let's be that tool and start enjoying who we are.
• 27:02
  Okay.
• 27:03
  All right.
• 27:03
  And David, if people want to get in touch with you, learn more about your coaching practice or the access consciousness system and how they could potentially, you know, get involved in and use your services.
• 27:16
  What's the best way people can reach out to you?
• 27:18
  Well, on my website, David Kubis Global, that's my website where all my services are bookable.
• 27:25
  I'm the ambassador of access bars if you're looking for it.
• 27:30
  Relaxation technique that is really efficient and recharges your batteries in in one hour treatment.
• 27:37
  Go to barsinbusiness.com There are 8, 000 facilities around the world.
• 27:43
  It's almost as available as yoga or Pilates, Just a little bit more efficient without the need of doing something.
• 27:51
  This is where you can find me as well.
• 27:54
  Or if you just Google me, you'll find me.
• 27:58
  I always say, if you really want to change something, reach out for it and look me up.
• 28:05
  David kubis global or barsinbusiness.com.
• 28:09
  this is where you find me.
• 28:11
  Okay.
• 28:12
  And we'll link all that in the show notes for everyone as well.
• 28:15
  Wonderful.
• 28:16
  David.
• 28:17
  Yeah.
• 28:18
  Thank you so much for taking the time to be here and sharing all this valuable wisdom from your journey with our listeners.
• 28:22
  We greatly appreciate it.
• 28:24
  Thank you so much.
• 28:25
  Bye.
• 28:25
  Bye.