Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 387: Fear or Misalignment? - How to Make Decisions for Your Highest Good

Transcript

387: Fear or Misalignment? - How to Make Decisions for Your Highest Good · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:00
Nicole Laino: Foreign.
0:06
Nicole Laino: Welcome to Unshakable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results.
0:16
Nicole Laino: Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
0:21
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
0:30
Nicole Laino: Hello, and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design.
0:33
Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Lano.
0:35
Nicole Laino: And today we're going to dive into the topic of fear.
0:40
Nicole Laino: We're going to talk about fear, and we're going to talk about.
0:43
Nicole Laino: Specifically about fear versus misalignment.
0:48
Nicole Laino: And I see this happen a lot.
0:49
Nicole Laino: Usually what happens is, you know, when we get scared and if you're an entrepreneur listening to this show, we kind of scare ourselves constantly because we're always pushing the envelope.
1:03
Nicole Laino: We're always growing.
1:04
Nicole Laino: We're always venturing off into the unknown, and that's scary.
1:10
Nicole Laino: This came up in Business by Design with one of my clients, where she asked me, she's like, how do I know if I'm experiencing a fear that I should walk through or if it's my alignment telling me that something's off?
1:26
Nicole Laino: And I was like, that's a great question.
1:29
Nicole Laino: That is a really great question.
1:30
Nicole Laino: And I love when people ask these questions because that's one what I'm here for.
1:35
Nicole Laino: But it's also.
1:36
Nicole Laino: It shows that you're really integrating the information you're asking the question as you're going through life and being like, how can I tell if this is.
1:45
Nicole Laino: I'm picking up on a fear.
1:46
Nicole Laino: I'm picking up on something that's saying no, but is it a correct fear that I should listen to and stop, like a misalignment signal?
1:56
Nicole Laino: Or is it one of the low frequencies that maybe I should walk through?
2:02
Nicole Laino: Because that is human design, I think, really helps us ask those better questions.
2:07
Nicole Laino: One, you know, I love to say it removes the autopilot where we would just naturally sort of fall into old patterns, but because it gets us asking new questions.
2:19
Nicole Laino: And what's so cool is it gets you asking questions about how you feel.
2:23
Nicole Laino: That's what I think is so powerful.
2:25
Nicole Laino: Not necessarily what you think, but what you feel.
2:28
Nicole Laino: You're paying attention to what you feel maybe for the first time in your life.
2:32
Nicole Laino: Because we are so taught and conditioned to bypass our feelings in favor of logical thought that we've stopped feeling.
2:44
Nicole Laino: We've stopped paying attention to it.
2:45
Nicole Laino: We've stopped really giving our body and our intuition any real weight or power.
2:53
Nicole Laino: And that's what human design does.
2:54
Nicole Laino: It's reversing that.
2:55
Nicole Laino: So it's actually giving the power back to our body, giving our power back to our intuition, helping us ask questions about the logical thing to do.
3:04
Nicole Laino: And sometimes we get these questions that get us going, well, I want to do what's right for my human design, but I don't know what that is.
3:11
Nicole Laino: And first of all, usually feeling is the answer.
3:15
Nicole Laino: Usually it's to lean into the feeling.
3:17
Nicole Laino: But this I thought was really good because she was feeling into it.
3:22
Nicole Laino: And she's like, I feel fear and I'm not sure whether I should follow it or if I should be brave and walk through it.
3:32
Nicole Laino: So I haven't seen anybody yet in all of the readings and clients that I've worked with, hundreds of people at this point, I've never seen somebody have zero fear gates.
3:43
Nicole Laino: So let's talk about that.
3:45
Nicole Laino: First of all, there are fear frequencies in our chart.
3:50
Nicole Laino: And you know me, I'm always talking about the tension in the chart.
3:52
Nicole Laino: There might be one thing in your chart that's like, be brave, and then another thing in your chart that's like, no, be careful.
4:00
Nicole Laino: Here's that fear that's always going to come up.
4:02
Nicole Laino: So if you're somebody, I have a lot of clients who have the right angle cross of penetration, which in that contains the 51 and the 57.
4:10
Nicole Laino: That is the pairing.
4:12
Nicole Laino: 51 is be brave, go first, charge forward, be the trailblazer.
4:17
Nicole Laino: That's what 51 is.
4:19
Nicole Laino: But 57 sits in the spleen and the spleen says, be careful.
4:25
Nicole Laino: The low frequency of gate 57 says, when we don't know what's ahead, better be careful.
4:32
Nicole Laino: Maybe we don't go that way.
4:34
Nicole Laino: So here you have.
4:35
Nicole Laino: The chart is full of oppositions.
4:38
Nicole Laino: It's full of tensions, polarities pulling us in two directions.
4:43
Nicole Laino: When we start to understand what these are, when we start to say, like, oh, I get that there's always going to be one part of me that's pushing this way and another part of me that's counteracting it and pulling another.
4:57
Nicole Laino: When we understand what our core polarities are, what these things are that are keeping us from things feeling super easy, it starts to paint a picture and it starts to, one, take some of the stigma away.
5:11
Nicole Laino: It also quiets the mind because your mind can really come up with some stories about that stuff.
5:18
Nicole Laino: Your mind can really twist around the way you should be or what should happen you and try to logically figure its way out of some of this stuff.
5:27
Nicole Laino: But when we fill ourselves with this type of knowledge where we say, I recognize that these are just kind of two polarities that will always exist in me.
5:36
Nicole Laino: So how do I honor them both?
5:39
Nicole Laino: And that's what's beautiful, is it shows us how to work with these tensions, how to work with both being brave and courageous, going first and being a trailblazer, but also knowing that there is a fear on the other side.
5:54
Nicole Laino: And that's not the high frequency either, you know, that's the fear is never the high frequency.
6:00
Nicole Laino: But how do we tell if it's a fear of low frequency?
6:03
Nicole Laino: So let me also just say there are 20 gates of fear in the body graph.
6:07
Nicole Laino: I have yet to see a chart where someone had zero of them.
6:11
Nicole Laino: Everybody has some.
6:13
Nicole Laino: So.
6:13
Nicole Laino: And the way you can tell, I'm not going to rattle off all 20 of them then.
6:17
Nicole Laino: But the way you can tell is if you have gates activated.
6:20
Nicole Laino: And it doesn't matter if you have a defined or an undefined center.
6:24
Nicole Laino: Gates activated are going to give you some consistency in these types of fear, in that particular type of fear in the spleen.
6:31
Nicole Laino: All of the gates in the spleen resonate with a certain type of fear.
6:36
Nicole Laino: This is like existential fear.
6:38
Nicole Laino: This is like the fear of, like, we're not going to make it.
6:41
Nicole Laino: This is like life or death kind of fear, survivalist kind of fear in the spleen.
6:46
Nicole Laino: Because that's what the spleen does.
6:48
Nicole Laino: It is intuition about what keeps us safe, what is safe, right and good for this body that we're walking around in.
6:54
Nicole Laino: Then we have the Ajna.
6:56
Nicole Laino: Now the Ajna is mental fears.
7:00
Nicole Laino: Low frequency of gates in the Ajna center have to do with mental fears.
7:06
Nicole Laino: So this is going to be stuff that really tangles your thoughts up.
7:09
Nicole Laino: You're going to want to try to think your way out of them.
7:12
Nicole Laino: And they can feel really overwhelming.
7:14
Nicole Laino: And then we also have the solar plexus.
7:17
Nicole Laino: So these are the three awareness centers in the body graph.
7:20
Nicole Laino: And when we have awareness tends to get worried about things.
7:25
Nicole Laino: Awareness tends to have, like, alarms.
7:29
Nicole Laino: So the solar plexus is another evolving awareness center.
7:33
Nicole Laino: It's really a motor right now, but it's becoming an awareness center.
7:36
Nicole Laino: And I do believe the solar plexus is the center of spirituality, of passion, of real connection to the spiritual realm.
7:46
Nicole Laino: While it hasn't fully evolved as an awareness center to label it that, I think we all know that we have spiritual awareness, right?
7:54
Nicole Laino: That we have some sort of sensing ability in that realm.
7:59
Nicole Laino: Emotional sensibilities.
8:01
Nicole Laino: And that's what the solar plexus is about.
8:03
Nicole Laino: So the Solar plexus.
8:04
Nicole Laino: Also, the gates in the solar plexus are all at the low frequency, resonate with a particular fear.
8:10
Nicole Laino: Each one gets its own little brand of fear.
8:13
Nicole Laino: So if you have a lot of gates activated, I have a lot of gates activated in my spleen, and I have two activated in my solar plexus.
8:22
Nicole Laino: So I have a fair amount of fear gates.
8:25
Nicole Laino: And if you have a channel, you might have that even a little bit stronger.
8:30
Nicole Laino: Now, I have none in my Ajna.
8:32
Nicole Laino: But I've had to become comfortable and aware of the specific fears that.
8:38
Nicole Laino: That are going to kind of be themes for me.
8:42
Nicole Laino: Fear of the past, fear of the future.
8:45
Nicole Laino: I have both.
8:46
Nicole Laino: I have fear of the past repeating itself, which is gate 44.
8:50
Nicole Laino: And then I have the fear of the future, which is gate 57.
8:53
Nicole Laino: So those two.
8:54
Nicole Laino: You see how.
8:55
Nicole Laino: See what I'm talking about?
8:55
Nicole Laino: By knowing that you have these things, you can start to see them.
8:59
Nicole Laino: And in the beginning, when you start doing this work, it is kind of like, okay, well, that's great information.
9:03
Nicole Laino: What do I do with it?
9:05
Nicole Laino: That's what the embodiment work is all about.
9:06
Nicole Laino: This is why I say listening to shows like this, reading books, diving into the information is great, but it's half the game.
9:17
Nicole Laino: The other half is really seeing how these things come up for you.
9:23
Nicole Laino: It is extremely like surgical self awareness.
9:28
Nicole Laino: Can I be aware of this fear and to notice when it comes up and what does it feel like?
9:33
Nicole Laino: I have spent years building a relationship with all of the aspects of my design so that I can see them and understand them in ways where they don't feel bigger than me.
9:44
Nicole Laino: They don't feel like bigger themes.
9:46
Nicole Laino: They also don't feel like something that I can't rise up to.
9:50
Nicole Laino: These are pieces of me that over the last five years I have been learning to own in all of their expression, from the lowest expression to the highest.
10:03
Nicole Laino: Is beautiful to see yourself through these particular little windows.
10:08
Nicole Laino: But how do we tell if it's fear or if it's misalignment?
10:13
Nicole Laino: Are we being warned about something where our intuition is telling us that's not the way for us to go?
10:19
Nicole Laino: Or is it just a fear that we should walk through?
10:22
Nicole Laino: How do you tell?
10:24
Nicole Laino: So we don't want to be saying no to all fear.
10:27
Nicole Laino: That is probably just conditioning.
10:30
Nicole Laino: So when you know what your fear gates are, and this is what I was telling my client, I said, well, you know, a fear like a fear of the future, or fear of the past repeating itself, or fear of authority, all of these things if they feel more like a global thing that you feel all the time, where it just feels like it's all around you, where it feels like kind of a thought that you're having over and over again.
10:55
Nicole Laino: And different awareness centers will have different vibes to them.
10:59
Nicole Laino: Spleen fear is going to be different than an emotional fear.
11:02
Nicole Laino: Emotional fear is going to feel probably more like anxiety and splenic fear is going to feel more like really triggering that fight or flight, really triggering that feeling of like, not good scary.
11:17
Nicole Laino: And we have to start to feel into what the difference is.
11:21
Nicole Laino: A regular fear, a low frequency, a low expression of one of the fear gates is going to feel a little bit like you're just kind of always thinking about something.
11:28
Nicole Laino: It'll feel like.
11:29
Nicole Laino: Like a lot of what if this, what if that.
11:31
Nicole Laino: So if it's the fear of the Future, that gate 57, well, what if this happens and what if that happens and what if that doesn't work and then what if that doesn't work after it?
11:40
Nicole Laino: And what if we go broke and all of that fear, that's fear.
11:44
Nicole Laino: That is not misalignment.
11:46
Nicole Laino: That's the mind.
11:47
Nicole Laino: And you can start to see it if you're paying attention.
11:50
Nicole Laino: It's a lot of thoughts, it's a lot of racing.
11:53
Nicole Laino: It's.
11:54
Nicole Laino: The spleen will just drive you in another direction.
11:57
Nicole Laino: The spleen will hit the brakes hard and tell you not safe.
12:02
Nicole Laino: And I can tell you this, but until you feel it in your body, a lot of times we don't get it.
12:07
Nicole Laino: And this happens with clients all the time.
12:09
Nicole Laino: They're like, I've heard you say it a million times.
12:11
Nicole Laino: I've heard you go over and over again about this thing.
12:14
Nicole Laino: But then I felt it and I'm like, oh, that's what she meant.
12:16
Nicole Laino: I thought I got it before, but I didn't get it until it happened.
12:19
Nicole Laino: I think about human design and these themes and I think about, like, when I would work out with a personal trainer years ago, I would go to the gym and he would show me how to do a move.
12:31
Nicole Laino: And to me, I could learn how to do the move.
12:34
Nicole Laino: But what I really wanted to do, I would always say to him, I'd be like, where should I feel this?
12:39
Nicole Laino: And he'd say, you know, you point to, like, my hip.
12:41
Nicole Laino: He's like, you should feel it right in here, this little muscle right here.
12:44
Nicole Laino: And you should feel a little bit of a pullback here.
12:46
Nicole Laino: And once I felt that and Then a good trainer can usually see when you flexed that muscle, be like, right there, just like that.
12:54
Nicole Laino: I could feel that.
12:55
Nicole Laino: And I would have the muscle memory to know what the right thing felt like.
12:59
Nicole Laino: And I could recreate that again, and I would know what it felt like when it was wrong.
13:05
Nicole Laino: And that's how I think human design is.
13:07
Nicole Laino: We don't know what our sacral feels like until we know what our sacral feels like.
13:11
Nicole Laino: And sometimes that takes us some trial and error, whether you're a three line or not, of going out there and seeing what it feels like to click on.
13:20
Nicole Laino: And then when we make a move and it's not in alignment, we go, I guess that wasn't it.
13:26
Nicole Laino: Okay, I'm paying different attention now.
13:29
Nicole Laino: Then you get something that strikes.
13:31
Nicole Laino: I see this with manifestors all the time.
13:33
Nicole Laino: Oh, my goodness.
13:34
Nicole Laino: The manifesters, where they're like, I think I felt the creative urge.
13:37
Nicole Laino: Is this the urge?
13:37
Nicole Laino: They're always asking me, and I'm like.
13:39
Nicole Laino: And I guide them.
13:41
Nicole Laino: But really, in the back of my mind, I'm like, you will know when the urge hits you will know.
13:46
Nicole Laino: And they all do.
13:48
Nicole Laino: And they all come to that point where they're like, oh, my God, you know, they're writing in our telegram, and they're just like, okay, I get it now.
13:55
Nicole Laino: I know what it feels like.
13:56
Nicole Laino: I just had an urge.
13:58
Nicole Laino: And it was like one client describing it.
14:02
Nicole Laino: She's like, I feel like I'm Carrie Matheson in Homeland, where she has, like, the crazy crime board up in her house and like, all the papers are around, like, where, you know, and she's ugly, crying, and she's like, that's how I feel right now.
14:14
Nicole Laino: Like, I feel like, you know, it's all coming together and I can't sleep and I can't do anything else because it just has to come out of me like an exorcism.
14:21
Nicole Laino: That's what it's like.
14:23
Nicole Laino: And they don't know until they feel it.
14:25
Nicole Laino: They don't know until they have one, and then they'll have another one, and it'll be different than that one, but they will still know.
14:32
Nicole Laino: They'll know when it's happening.
14:34
Nicole Laino: They.
14:34
Nicole Laino: They'll know when it's about to happen.
14:36
Nicole Laino: They'll get the feeling for it.
14:38
Nicole Laino: And this is why experimentation is so much more important than textbook understanding, right?
14:46
Nicole Laino: We have to understand what this stuff feels like in our bodies.
14:49
Nicole Laino: So with the fears, even just the act of asking those questions, the way I was talking my client through it, I was like, do you See how you're kind of thinking about it and you're like, is this it?
14:59
Nicole Laino: Is this it?
14:59
Nicole Laino: I'm kind of afraid of this.
15:01
Nicole Laino: And is this right or are you getting like a warning?
15:05
Nicole Laino: This is not correct.
15:08
Nicole Laino: And she's like, no, I think it's my mind.
15:10
Nicole Laino: I think I'm like, I see it.
15:12
Nicole Laino: I really am thinking about it.
15:14
Nicole Laino: Like the spleen doesn't think, the spleen warns.
15:18
Nicole Laino: And if you walk through the fear, that low frequency, that low expression is the thing that's keeping you from really stepping into bravery, into real courage, which every single high frequency of all of the fear gates has to do with some kind of courage on the emotional side.
15:41
Nicole Laino: A lot of times it's opening ourselves up to something big and not being too afraid to take the leap.
15:47
Nicole Laino: It's opening ourselves usually to people into situations that are emotional and uncomfortable or disappointment.
15:53
Nicole Laino: Just all of these things, all of those.
15:55
Nicole Laino: Like, do you see how that's a different fear than I'm afraid of authority, that I'm afraid of not being good enough?
16:02
Nicole Laino: There's that and then there's the emotional thing of like, I'm so afraid that it won't go well and I'll be so disappointed.
16:08
Nicole Laino: There's like, there's an emotional frequency to it.
16:12
Nicole Laino: It's different.
16:13
Nicole Laino: And you don't know until you feel it.
16:15
Nicole Laino: You don't know until you feel it in your body.
16:18
Nicole Laino: And that's the part that most people will bypass and skip over in favor of reading more, learning more.
16:26
Nicole Laino: And I just encourage you to get out there and try it because this is what's so unique about human design.
16:32
Nicole Laino: It takes the power away from the mind, it puts it into the body.
16:36
Nicole Laino: The ultimate pattern interrupt.
16:38
Nicole Laino: If you are in a pattern of maybe succumbing to some fears, human design is going to interrupt that pattern because it's going to get you asking yourself questions and being very acutely self aware about these specific things.
16:53
Nicole Laino: That instead of automatically following a program, you will start to ask a question or you'll pause or you'll shift and you'll ask yourself, how do I feel right now?
17:04
Nicole Laino: Now the other obvious answer in all of this is to follow your strategy.
17:08
Nicole Laino: And authority is to follow like if you're a sacral and your sacral is lit up, but you're scared, sacral wins every single time.
17:17
Nicole Laino: If you are a projector and you know that it's right and that you are recognized for this thing and this is the thing for you, but you're scared, then recognition always Wins.
17:29
Nicole Laino: The invitation always wins.
17:30
Nicole Laino: And if you're scared, you know, this is where it does get us to some better questions.
17:35
Nicole Laino: It gets us to some better questions when we can ask ourselves, well, how did this come to me?
17:40
Nicole Laino: Am I being a manifester and trying to initiate?
17:42
Nicole Laino: And maybe I'm afraid, because this doesn't really feel right.
17:46
Nicole Laino: And this is where when I ask questions of people, I love to prod deeper into the situation, into what they're experiencing.
17:56
Nicole Laino: Because when we go deeper, then we get to the real heart of the problem and we can really see what's driving the action.
18:05
Nicole Laino: The fear is just your mind spinning, and we just need to take the power away from your mind and put it back where it belongs.
18:12
Nicole Laino: This is why human design is the greatest tool for trust, for tapping into your intuition, for really being brave and taking really strong and powerful steps toward your destiny.
18:27
Nicole Laino: So many people I talk to feel like they have a purpose and there's something calling them.
18:33
Nicole Laino: But maybe it doesn't fit in with the life that they've created, at least not perfectly.
18:38
Nicole Laino: Maybe it doesn't fit in with the job that they have or the business that they've built, or the relationship that they're in, and they're afraid that if they rock the boat and make a change, that's going to screw everything up.
18:52
Nicole Laino: What I've noticed with human design is that over time, when you start to follow it gets so much easier to step into the unknown.
19:00
Nicole Laino: Because you're used to not making logical decisions.
19:04
Nicole Laino: You're used to making decisions that feel right.
19:06
Nicole Laino: You're used to following something that doesn't make sense.
19:09
Nicole Laino: And up until now, so many people have only done the things that made sense.
19:13
Nicole Laino: And even if they've stepped outside of that comfort zone and made some courageous decisions to do something that felt a little out of the box, they might not trust it as much as they trust a logical pattern that they follow and their mind and everybody approving when we want to do big things and we want to break the mold and we want to shatter the box that we have been put in.
19:36
Nicole Laino: We have to trust ourselves.
19:37
Nicole Laino: We have to trust our intuition because everybody else will tell us, no, no, don't do that.
19:41
Nicole Laino: Scary.
19:42
Nicole Laino: Don't go there.
19:43
Nicole Laino: And even the best meaning people will sometimes shit all over your dreams in favor of what is safe.
19:51
Nicole Laino: So this is why human design is the greatest tool that I have found for trusting yourself and for really stepping into the greatness that is you.
20:02
Nicole Laino: I did a masterclass a while back called Trust.
20:07
Nicole Laino: So if you're interested in that.
20:08
Nicole Laino: This is one of my favorite things that I've ever done.
20:11
Nicole Laino: I think I crammed in so much value into this three part masterclass.
20:16
Nicole Laino: I'm still in love with it.
20:17
Nicole Laino: I give it to all of my clients.
20:18
Nicole Laino: I'm like, this is really great.
20:20
Nicole Laino: You should watch it because it's really taking you through the steps that it takes to truly have trust in yourself through human design and also through deconditioning.
20:29
Nicole Laino: And I take you through the number one belief that keeps people from really having trust, the level of trust that they need to manifest incredible things in their lives.
20:39
Nicole Laino: If you're interested in that, DM me the word trust on Instagram.
20:42
Nicole Laino: I'm colelanofficial.
20:43
Nicole Laino: Or go to nicolelaino.com trust and you can download it there right off the website.
20:48
Nicole Laino: It is a paid masterclass.
20:50
Nicole Laino: This is not a free one, but it is absolutely worth every single penny.
20:54
Nicole Laino: People have gotten such amazing value from this.
20:57
Nicole Laino: Like people have just loved it.
20:59
Nicole Laino: It's one of my favorite tappings I've ever done.
21:01
Nicole Laino: We actually take you through it.
21:03
Nicole Laino: We take you through a tapping so we do deconditioning work in there along with the rest of the class.
21:08
Nicole Laino: So it's a really great piece.
21:11
Nicole Laino: Go to the Show Notes.
21:12
Nicole Laino: The link is down there if you need it.
21:13
Nicole Laino: Thank you so much for being here with us.
21:15
Nicole Laino: I appreciate you.
21:17
Nicole Laino: And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
21:22
Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design.
21:25
Nicole Laino: We will see you next time.
21:27
Nicole Laino: If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the itunes, Spotify or wherever you're listening to the show and leave us a review.
21:33
Nicole Laino: And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
21:41
Nicole Laino: Go to nicolelaino Me podcastlinks to join the group.
21:45
Nicole Laino: Book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
21:50
Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.