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What Do You Do When Things Are Tough? · Energy Medicine with Diane Goldner

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Energy Medicine with Diane Goldner. Everything is made
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of scintillating energy, even you. I'm Diane Goldner, an internationally
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known healer, intuitive, and author. Join me as we explore
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the energy and consciousness that creates your reality. I'm here
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to help you heal and awaken with Energy Medicine. Welcome
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to Energy Medicine. I'm your host, Diane Goldner, and the
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wonderful Julie Hoyle is back with us today. And she
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is the host of Talking True and a wonderful spiritual mentor.
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So welcome, Julie.
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Speaker 2: Thank you, Diane. As you know, I always love joining you.
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Speaker 1: I love talking to you. And you know what? So
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does the audience. Everyone, it's really amazing. And we have
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a great topic today because I think it's one that's
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relevant to every single person, and that is what do
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you do when the going gets tough? Because I think
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everyone has a moment where the going gets tough. So
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when I thought of this topic, I really, it's twofold.
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One is what happens when in your own personal life
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you hit a storm. You hit choppy waters, okay? And
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it happens, right? It could be illness. It could be
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somebody in your family becoming ill. It could be a
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work situation. And the other part of that question is,
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what do you do when the world around you is
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so crazy? Things are so seemingly upsetting. And what do
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you do? So we're going to look at both of
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those today. Should we start with a personal? I'm feeling
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that that's where we should go. Yes.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a great starting place.
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Speaker 1: So I want to bring up, because Julie and I
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are both in a moment where our mothers suddenly have
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taken a turn for the worse. So, you know, that
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is one of those moments where the going gets a
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little tough. Maybe we're fine personally, but the fact that
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somebody that we love is declining or suffering... is a
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really tough place to be. And it does upset the
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apple cart, right? You suddenly feel the ground has been
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pulled from you. Do you want to take it away?
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I have thoughts what I do, but why don't you
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share how you approach this?
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Speaker 2: Where I'd like to start is a sticking point for
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many people who are spiritual Christians.
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Speaker 1: And you're putting that in quotes.
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Speaker 2: Or who are on a kind of a spiritual path
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or journey or an awakening, whatever you want to call it,
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because it can be a tendency to think that you
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shouldn't be feeling upset or angry or depressed, you know,
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any of those things. And that, you know, when those
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feelings and emotions come up, especially when they're really intense,
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that there's something wrong with your practice and maybe you
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need to meditate more or, you know, do whatever to
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change that dynamic.
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Speaker 1: Find a new teacher.
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Speaker 2: Yes. You know, and the thing is, all of those
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practices and, you know, whatever we do to center ourselves
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are fantastic. They're great. They're wonderful. They can be very
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supportive and helpful. But it's also important to acknowledge if
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we're feeling depressed, or anxious or concerned or, you know, or, or,
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you know, whatever.
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Speaker 1: Grounded or.
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Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. Spinning, you know, don't know what to do.
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Can't make a clear decision about something. All of that
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has its place and it's perfectly okay too. And it's
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really important to welcome all of that and to not
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kind of try and rush through it as well. You know,
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try and kind of manage it away or rush through
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it or meditate to get out of that feeling. Because
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those qualities are here to speak to us and to
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show us something. You know, once we acknowledge that maybe
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we're feeling helpless because, for example, we can't do a
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whole lot if we have a family member who is ailing.
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you know, in terms of helping their suffering go away.
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And again, I can speak from direct experience with that
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because my brother recently passed away from cancer and the
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worst pain for me was not being able to help
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him alleviate the pain that he was dealing with, even
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with morphine.
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Speaker 1: And I know you tried.
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Speaker 2: You know, I did. You did everything you could. Yes,
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I did energy work and that definitely helps. It does help.
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At the same time, we have to be okay with
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those phases and periods in our life where we feel helpless.
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We can't do anything per se.
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Speaker 1: Well, we do something, but it doesn't change the course.
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It might uplift that person. I'm sure it does. Yes,
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it does. Spiritually, emotionally, maybe we can't track it. Maybe
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they can't track it. But I always believe holding light
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offering light, it's always going to bring things to a
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higher order.
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes. But I was meaning more in terms
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of the physical, you know, sometimes if there's distance, like
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where I'm in the Bahamas, my mother's in the UK,
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so that even all of that said, I can direct
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energy healing and prayers and all those things. But obviously
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there are moments where we can feel that it's a
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hopeless situation or that we can't do much or whatever.
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And there can be a struggle with that.
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Speaker 1: Or that they're slipping away, no matter what you do,
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because everyone does get the ticket home.
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes. So my first point of contact, so to speak,
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in these difficult situations is to remember that it's okay
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to not know. It's okay to feel moments of helplessness.
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It's okay to feel irritated, upset, frustrated, you know, whatever
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those kind of seemingly negative emotions look like. And then,
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you know, the thing is, is that what happens in
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my personal experience is when I arrive at that place
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and there's acceptance and there's kind of an embracing of that,
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then if there are solutions and steps forward, then they
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become clear. rather than, you know, trying to get into
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kind of super girl, super woman right after that to
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try and fix or change the situation and wear yourself
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out in the process. So that's kind of my go-to.
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I mean, I'm sure you have your own.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I, you know, when you talk about this,
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I mean, I have to say with everything I know
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about the soul passing on, I was personally a little
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surprised to find I was rattled, you know, but it's
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my mother. It's the ground upon which my whole life, right,
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springs from. And she's my last remaining parent because my
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father has already passed. And again, you know, it's the uncertainty.
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It's the, although my mother isn't, I don't know if
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she knows she's suffering or she just doesn't dwell on
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it because she's really always focusing on the positive, which
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is fantastic. So, you know, I just had to accept
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that it was a big deal. It was a really
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big deal. And I know she's going to be okay
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because the soul is always okay. And I know I'm okay.
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You know, but when, so when something like something major
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happens in my life, I do tend to meditate more
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because I find I need to. It supports me. It
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comforts me. It untangles some of the, you know, whatever
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I'm feeling. It brings in that divine light and it
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just brings more harmony and centeredness for me. So I
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always meditate and pray. And as I tell some of
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my clients sometimes, take a walk. It's nothing like being outside,
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moving your body, feeling the sun, connecting to the earth.
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes. Or, you know, clean your home, you know,
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or do some baking or cooking or something that is
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nurturing to you. That can be very helpful too. I mean,
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these things are really simple, but we can often forget, right?
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Especially when you get into that kind of tornado.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Of frantically, you know, getting into a panic or anxiety mode. Yes.
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It's easy to forget. But, you know, the body's a
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great barometer. It'll soon, you know, set us straight.
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Speaker 1: Yes. Walking, you know, if you don't have any spiritual practice, walking,
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and even if you have tons of spiritual practices, There's
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really nothing like taking a walk in my view. I mean,
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it just steadies me. It aligns me and it takes
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me out of my mental body right into the body.
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And that's really great. One of the most important things
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we can do is stay present with what we're feeling.
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Instead of try to, like when you're baking or walking,
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it's not that you're trying to escape the feeling. It's
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that you're, it gives you something to do while you're
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with the feeling. Yes, yes.
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Speaker 2: The thing is, I mean, I love walking. I really
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love being out in nature and looking up at the
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sky because that connects me with infinity.
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Speaker 1: Yes. To speak.
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Speaker 2: But also something like cooking or baking, I find really
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great therapy too because when I'm looking at my hands
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and I'm utilizing my hands, somehow the mind becomes very still.
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: That takes me into this place of feeling really centered
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and supported and guided from within. as wonderful things.
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Speaker 1: Recently, I think I've been doing more with cleaning and
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clearing clutter, getting rid of things that I don't need.
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It's also very helpful.
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Speaker 2: Yes. Boxes and boxes of stuff.
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Speaker 1: The other thing on a more, you know, metaphysical level
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is Realizing everything is always in perfect divine order. It's
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we that don't always understand that order, but it really
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is always in perfect divine order. And for me, that
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is one of my highest practices is reminding myself everything
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is in perfect divine order. Because, you know, if it's
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something like you're losing your job or things are changing
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around you in ways that you wouldn't choose, it can
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be really unnerving. So I always like to remind myself,
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everything is in perfect divine order. And so what seems
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like a negative is for my benefit, and it's my
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job to unwrap the gift.
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Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, and that's really where the work is, right? Yes.
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Especially having the patience to just be with it and
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see what transpires rather than trying to rush to something.
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rush to a decision or jump into something that you
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might later regret. So, you know, all of that is
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really helpful.
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Speaker 1: So one of the other things that, you know, is
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implied in everything we're talking about, but I just want
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to explicitly bring it to the fore is is making space,
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just being present. And so it might mean that you're
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less busy instead of more busy. Sometimes people like just
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to get more busy because they're upset. But actually, I
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find that if I get less busy, if I just
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do less, even if it means dismantling something from my schedule,
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I find that gives me the time to really understand
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on a deeper level what it is I need, what
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it is I need to understand, what it is I
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can release, what it is I can do, any of
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those and all of those things. Do you?
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes. That's really worked for me as well. You know,
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and the other part of that too is that oftentimes
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these great big kind of gaps in my schedule will
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open up without me kind of consciously trying to create that.
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Speaker 1: I'm laughing because I, I, I kind of joke sometimes
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that I don't make my own schedule because, um, I
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have found, I mean, this is amazing what you're talking
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about because I have literally found like, um, sometimes there'll
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be a gap in my schedule and I won't know why,
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but then when I get there, there's a reason that
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like either I'm not feeling well or something's occurred. And
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we were talking about this before we started our, you know,
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conversation today, you know, our podcast conversation, but I was
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once planning a trip, you know, and scheduling, it was
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a work trip and scheduling all the things that I
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wanted to do and who I wanted to meet and
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get done. And And no matter what I did, there
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was this like week that just didn't want to get filled.
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And I just, I kept saying, wow, I have this
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dead zone. And then it turned out, you know, a
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really good friend of mine's father passed at that time
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and she really needed me. And that was the dead zone.
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So sometimes we have to pay attention to our language too. Yes, yes.
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Speaker 2: I've had similar situations where I've had space opening up,
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you know, which is really unexpected. And then, of course,
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something happens either health-wise or, like you said, a friend
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needs help or I have clients reaching out to me
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because there's an emergency.
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Speaker 1: That's another one, yes, where you have a space and
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then somebody really needs that time. But you don't know that,
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but somehow the universe knows that they're going to need
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that time. Yes.
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Speaker 2: So I don't worry about those things. You know, it's
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just kind of, it's taken care of by my higher secretary. Yes.
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Speaker 1: And I also find that, you know, I can always
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use whatever space is being given to me and my schedule.
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So there's, you know, but it is interesting how there
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is a higher order going on.
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Speaker 2: Yes. You know, it's the same as true with COVID.
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It was, you know, a lot of people were complaining about,
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But I actually was very happy with the whole lockdown situation.
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Speaker 1: Me too. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I don't
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want to laugh because I know some people really struggled. Right.
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But it was so nice because everything got more peaceful
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and unwound and the pressure to go out there and
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do this or do that diminished. And, you know, it
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had that. I mean, that's a really great example of
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everything being in perfect divine order because, you I'd been
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traveling back and forth, bi-coastal, between New York and L.A.
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for two decades. And it was exhausting. It was fun,
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but it was a little exhausting because every time I
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got back, I had to recover and then I was
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planning my next trip. You know, with COVID, I finally
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moved to L.A. completely.
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And that was a relief. I mean, you know,
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it was a little sad to let New York go.
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Not that I don't go to New York or whatever,
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but not in the same amount of time or anything.
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So that's an example of perfect divine order. You know,
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another one that happens is people might lose their job
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and be very devastated. And... You know, sometimes they can't see,
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but often something more wonderful emerges for them.
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Speaker 2: Yes, yes. Or they finally do the thing that they've
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always wanted to do. That's what I mean.
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Speaker 1: They give themselves the freedom because what do they have
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to lose?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. So you never quite know. And again, it's
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always about just welcoming what is happening, as difficult as
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that may be. And I'm certainly not simplifying that. It
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can be devastating. It can be terribly upsetting when things
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happen that we're not expecting. But we can at least
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be with it, even if we don't like it. If
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we can be with what is happening, then somehow we
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can kind of navigate our way through.
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Speaker 1: There's a great saying, and I tell this to my
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son because he's old enough to understand it to some degree.
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The only constant is change.
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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Yes.
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Speaker 1: I think none of us really like change. It's nice
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when it's going along, at least when it's going along
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in a good way, right? But really the only constant
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is change. Things are always going to change.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
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Speaker 1: There's one other thing that's coming up for me, which
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I had thought about before, but important to mention is,
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you know, when you're going through a dark period, because
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we've been talking more about maybe things happening to other
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people that affect us. But when you're going through your
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own personal dark period, which I've definitely gone through, the
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dark soul of the night, it's really important to know,
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to remind yourself it's temporary because everything always is changing, right?
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And so you can be in a really moment of despair, bleakness,
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and feel like things are never going to be okay. Right.
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And the truth is it's going to be okay. It
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is okay. And if you can just hang in there. Yes.
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Things are going to totally transform and, you know, there's
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going to be an upswing again.
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Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. And again, as tough as that is, if
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we can just be with that, you know, and feel
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all the feels, right? And try to kind of push
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it away or whatever. That does change. And we can,
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we always seemingly, certainly in my experience anyway, I've come
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out of it with a renewed kind of interest, with
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renewed understanding.
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Speaker 1: And renewed, like a blossoming, right? It's like you go underground,
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you're dormant in some way because you're working on solving
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whatever it is. But at the same time, it's a
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time of joy. of something new.
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Speaker 2: Yes. Yes. And we may not know what that looks like.
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But if, as you said, if we hang in there
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and something always can, we come out of it better somehow,
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if you can use that word.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. You know, the other thing is I have
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found when I've gone through my own dark periods, you know,
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when you look back, it's sometimes the most fruitful period
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of your life. Yes. When I went through the transformation
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from journalist to healer, oh, my God, I thought it
20:23
was going to be a bag lady. It was really terrible.
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I'm laughing now because I wouldn't go back for a
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million bucks. You know what I mean? It was like
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the best thing that ever happened to me. But the
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process of unraveling that identity and the idea that my
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identity is fixed on, you know, a job or a
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profession or a career as opposed to the divine self.
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I mean, it was gruesome.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Listen, I mean, I can really relate because when
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My husband and I moved to Grand Bahama Island in 2004.
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You know, we'd come from India. And it was like,
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what in the world is this place? Because it's very
21:09
kind of oriented towards drinking and partying and the beach
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life and this and that and the other. And I
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just felt like, you know, I did not belong there
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at all.
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Speaker 1: Just out of water.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. And yeah, it was really, really, really hard. I
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was finding it difficult to find community. And it was
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because of that feeling, that isolation, I started reaching out
21:33
and writing emails to, you know, friends that I'd been
21:37
at the ashram with. You were one of them. And
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then writing in my journal and then out of, you know,
21:44
my filling journal after journal after journal, this kind of
21:48
directive to start writing a book. came alive and also
21:52
to write articles for mind, body, spirit magazines. Now I'm
21:56
sure if I'd been somewhere that was more kind of
22:00
supportive in terms of my spiritual orientation and there was
22:04
a meditation group or a meditation center or an ashram
22:07
to go to, I probably wouldn't have spent so much
22:10
time doing my own inner work and then journaling and then,
22:14
you know, writing the books. So, um, it, it was
22:18
incredibly fruitful. But, you know, at the time it was.
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Speaker 1: Painful, right?
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Speaker 2: It was painful.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I've been through those periods more than once. And
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I've learned that, you know, first of all, you know,
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the time we have with ourself is to be treasured.
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You know, it really is one of the biggest gifts
22:42
you can have. And so, yeah. So when there's that,
22:49
sense of loss and you know loss of community loss
22:52
of companionship loss of a partner it can be very
22:56
devastating but at the same time there's that renewal.
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Speaker 2: Yes there's a doorway there's a portal or whatever you
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want to call it that is right there.
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Speaker 1: Yeah and so it's our job to open up to
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the gift right.
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Speaker 2: Yes for sure yes I always remember there was a
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quote that has been said to be by St. Thomas,
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which goes something like, if you bring forth what is
23:25
within you, what is within you will save you. Oh, yes.
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You know, if you do not bring forth what is
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within you, what is within you will destroy you. And
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that has certainly been true in my personal experience and
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what I've seen as well with the clients that I've
23:44
worked with. is a lot of depression is kind of
23:48
surrounded or kind of encapsulates these gifts that have not
23:55
been allowed to kind of blossom and grow and be expressed. Because,
24:00
you know, for whatever reason, fear, doubt, anxieties, you know.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. And, you know, we sort of, a lot of
24:08
us met and were taught that in society. to self-medicate
24:12
by either watching more TV or going to the bar
24:17
or getting together with friends. And, you know, there's nothing
24:22
wrong with any of those things, but sometimes the best
24:26
thing you can do is be by yourself and feel
24:30
the sadness, the fear, the grief, whatever it is that
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life is bringing you.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
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Speaker 1: It's really such a powerful healing process. Yes. Yes.
24:44
Speaker 2: Because that's kind of where the gold is.
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Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah. So we've both had those experiences. And, you know,
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the thing is over and over again, right?
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Speaker 2: Yes. Yes.
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Speaker 1: And I want to say it does get a little easier. So, Julie,
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this has been wonderful. And we're going to return next
25:04
week to continue this conversation. So in the meantime, I
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would just want to thank you so much.
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Speaker 2: Thank you, Diane. It's been an absolute joy as always.
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Speaker 1: God bless. And we'll be back next week with Energy Medicine.
25:20
All my love to all of you. Thank you for listening.
25:25
Connect with me at dianegoldner.com to learn about workshops, to
25:30
book a session, or to ask a question for a
25:33
future episode. I do love to receive your questions and comments.
25:39
Please join me next time as we continue our healing journey.
25:43
For focuses on spiritual vibration, we do not give medical advice.
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Please consult your doctor for all medical questions and treatments.