Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Future Thespians
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show Podcast,
- 0:05Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.
- 0:09Speaker 2: Or raw dog.
- 0:10Speaker 3: It four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodakit.
- 0:15Speaker 1: Oh, g'day fellas.
- 0:17Speaker 2: Hello.
- 0:18Speaker 1: How are we this morning?
- 0:20Speaker 4: Fucking weird waking up with rain, like heavy rain.
- 0:23Speaker 1: It is quite bizarre, isn't it? My wife even offered
- 0:26Speaker 1: to drive me in today, and I went, no, darling,
- 0:28Speaker 1: you stay in bed. I can cope with this. I
- 0:30Speaker 1: can deal with it.
- 0:31Speaker 5: Because I thought about picking you up.
- 0:33Speaker 3: Yes. As on my drive past, because as I was
- 0:35Speaker 3: at the lights about to come down to town, I
- 0:37Speaker 3: was just pitched, because it was raining quite hard, and
- 0:39Speaker 3: I was picturing Jase getting swept.
- 0:41Speaker 5: Away down into a gutter. and then down into a drain.
- 0:44Speaker 2: But you didn't even offer. I offered at least.
- 0:46Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for that, mate. I appreciate it.
- 0:48Speaker 2: On the chat, I jumped in there. I thought, poor
- 0:50Speaker 2: old Jase.
- 0:51Speaker 1: I didn't see it until I actually got in.
- 0:53Speaker 2: I'm sorry, man. I should have thought about it earlier.
- 0:55Speaker 2: I thought he was dry. I thought, this is miserable
- 0:56Speaker 2: for poor little Hoity J there. Yeah. So I made
- 0:59Speaker 2: the offer, Keezy. Keezy, you're just saying that you thought
- 1:01Speaker 2: of it.
- 1:01Speaker 5: But that was at 5.38, mate.
- 1:02Speaker 6: Yeah, I know, but you came here after me, so
- 1:04Speaker 6: you could have made the offer. Even after seeing my offer,
- 1:06Speaker 6: you did nothing.
- 1:07Speaker 1: I did see one young lady. I felt for her.
- 1:11Speaker 6: She was dressed in like this in the dark.
- 1:13Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just, yeah. But she was dressed for
- 1:16Speaker 1: like the office, skirt and shirt, and was absolutely drenched.
- 1:22Speaker 2: Do you know what?
- 1:22Speaker 6: She was probably in theme. She might have been a prostitute.
- 1:28Speaker 1: Maybe.
- 1:28Speaker 2: You don't see many of those these days on the streets,
- 1:31Speaker 2: do you?
- 1:32Speaker 1: And not.
- 1:33Speaker 7: Jase?
- 1:35Speaker 1: Well, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know, to be fair. Well,
- 1:38Speaker 1: you would. But it was very sort of office-like garb.
- 1:42Speaker 2: Garb, yeah.
- 1:43Speaker 1: That she was wearing.
- 1:44Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- 1:45Speaker 1: The secretary.
- 1:46Speaker 2: Have you seen The Secretary, Jase, that film The Secretary
- 1:48Speaker 2: with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal? Oh, yeah. Oh, hello. Hello.
- 1:53Speaker 2: I did the rounds, cheesy.
- 1:54Speaker 5: Hello.
- 1:56Speaker 1: So you're saying she was in costume.
- 1:58Speaker 2: She may well have been, yeah.
- 1:59Speaker 1: She might have been.
- 1:59Speaker 2: She might have been.
- 2:00Speaker 1: It was a very wet costume, can I say that?
- 2:03Speaker 2: But in terms of your ladies of the night.
- 2:06Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 2:07Speaker 2: You used to see them everywhere. Like in Wellington, I
- 2:09Speaker 2: don't know where they hung out. Here, K Road.
- 2:11Speaker 1: K Road.
- 2:11Speaker 2: K Road, there we go.
- 2:12Speaker 1: Not that I know that.
- 2:13Speaker 5: The sort of offshoots of K Road.
- 2:15Speaker 2: Right, yes. They used to live there.
- 2:17Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 2:17Speaker 5: The little offshoots. They're not on the road.
- 2:19Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
- 2:20Speaker 1: Down the side street. Is that what you're saying?
- 2:22Speaker 5: The little hill down that goes to Hopetown Street.
- 2:24Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the one.
- 2:25Speaker 6: There's a public toilet. There's a new public toilet that
- 2:29Speaker 6: they built there. That's where they take them, and the
- 2:31Speaker 6: local residents aren't happy about it.
- 2:33Speaker 2: No.
- 2:33Speaker 5: Also, there's a dry cleaners. There used to be a
- 2:35Speaker 5: dry cleaners.
- 2:36Speaker 2: Oh, a laundromat? So you can take your suit in and.
- 2:38Speaker 5: No, that's where.
- 2:39Speaker 3: They'd go and wash garments and stuff all throughout the night,
- 2:43Speaker 3: and they'd be in there and almost run their operation
- 2:45Speaker 3: out of there.
- 2:45Speaker 2: Really?
- 2:46Speaker 1: Yeah. It's probably a good joint to do it, really.
- 2:49Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You've got a captive audience.
- 2:50Speaker 2: Run a prostitution ring.
- 2:52Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 2:53Speaker 2: Is it a ring if it's just one of you?
- 2:57Speaker 5: Yeah, it can be.
- 2:58Speaker 3: Fucking prostitute chat at 5.45 in the morning.
- 3:01Speaker 2: It's a bit full.
- 3:03Speaker 1: Pugs is shaking his head in disgust.
- 3:06Speaker 2: Sex worker.
- 3:08Speaker 1: Sex worker, Mogi.
- 3:09Speaker 2: What were you saying, Street? What were you saying?
- 3:11Speaker 5: I said prostitute.
- 3:12Speaker 1: Prostitute.
- 3:13Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 3:13Speaker 5: Is that odd?
- 3:14Speaker 2: Trust Pugs to know the proper term.
- 3:17Speaker 5: He's been corrected by them before, though.
- 3:18Speaker 2: He has been corrected by them. Yeah. Do you mind?
- 3:22Speaker 2: I'm a sex worker. Even that seems a bit stronger.
- 3:26Speaker 1: It is very early to start with the sex worker chat.
- 3:29Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 3:31Speaker 6: Well, now any sex workers listening to this will be thinking, whoa,
- 3:33Speaker 6: what's wrong with talking about.
- 3:34Speaker 2: Where's our backbone shout?
- 3:36Speaker 5: Great, so now.
- 3:36Speaker 4: You've offended the farmers and now the sex workers, Jase, man.
- 3:40Speaker 2: Hell of a combination.
- 3:41Speaker 1: God, I mean, I'm going to be an endangered species
- 3:44Speaker 1: on the street soon.
- 3:53Speaker 7: Oh, g'day, Matt.
- 3:54Speaker 2: Oh, hi, mate, yeah.
- 3:55Speaker 7: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
- 3:58Speaker 7: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
- 4:03Speaker 7: tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven
- 4:06Speaker 7: weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio.
- 4:12Speaker 3: The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.
- 4:14Speaker 1: But yeah, fucking miserable out there. But to be fair,
- 4:18Speaker 1: we've had very little rain over the winter break.
- 4:21Speaker 2: But this is where you brace yourself, isn't it?
- 4:23Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll cop it.
- 4:24Speaker 2: Because it's going to be like this for the next
- 4:25Speaker 2: three months.
- 4:26Speaker 1: Has spring sprung? Yeah, it has.
- 4:28Speaker 2: Although, what are we in?
- 4:29Speaker 1: Yeah, it's spring.
- 4:31Speaker 6: I was thinking about how much water we've got to
- 4:34Speaker 6: look forward to. Auckland's a shocker.
- 4:36Speaker 1: Well, I was actually amazed to learn, because it's been
- 4:39Speaker 1: such a dry winter, that the dams are full. It
- 4:42Speaker 1: was like, how did that happen? Because usually in Auckland,
- 4:45Speaker 1: the dams are running out by now. Well, they'll be
- 4:50Speaker 1: full during winter, but we've had such a dry winter.
- 4:52Speaker 1: It's like, how can they be full?
- 4:54Speaker 5: Maybe it rains overnight.
- 4:56Speaker 1: Maybe.
- 4:56Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're not looking.
- 4:58Speaker 3: When I was driving down the Western... Like, it was
- 5:00Speaker 3: pissing down quite hard. My wipers were on full tilt.
- 5:03Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 5:04Speaker 5: Probably not quite necessary.
- 5:05Speaker 2: Yeah, I put mine on full, Keezy, if I'm honest.
- 5:07Speaker 2: And then I dropped the back one. I thought, well,
- 5:09Speaker 2: mine's on auto.
- 5:10Speaker 1: Mine's a bit overexcited.
- 5:12Speaker 2: I hate auto.
- 5:13Speaker 3: And auto was just like, yo, we're going to fucking
- 5:15Speaker 3: get this water off. But as I was driving along,
- 5:17Speaker 3: I was like, what's that behind me there? And then
- 5:19Speaker 3: I was in the fast lane, so I moved over one.
- 5:21Speaker 3: And a dude on a motorbike with a fucking T-shirt
- 5:25Speaker 3: and a Kathmandu vest on. Leaning forward as hard as
- 5:29Speaker 3: he could, just hooned past me.
- 5:30Speaker 5: And I was just like, fuck that at 5.30 a.m.
- 5:33Speaker 2: Yeah, get into work, man. Just backbone into work. Totally, man.
- 5:35Speaker 5: Because a lot of people, especially in Asian countries and stuff,
- 5:37Speaker 5: all you've got is a motorbike.
- 5:39Speaker 2: What?
- 5:40Speaker 1: Just easy.
- 5:41Speaker 5: What do you mean?
- 5:42Speaker 1: Come on.
- 5:44Speaker 5: In the Asian countries.
- 5:45Speaker 2: Thank you from someone who knows, who's learned.
- 5:47Speaker 3: Southeast Asian countries, all you've got is a motorbike and
- 5:49Speaker 3: it's fucking typhoon season and you.
- 5:51Speaker 5: Have to get to work or whatever. You have to
- 5:53Speaker 5: ride in the rain.
- 5:54Speaker 1: And they've got like a barn on the back of it.
- 5:56Speaker 5: Easy, easy, a barn me.
- 5:58Speaker 1: No, a barn.
- 6:00Speaker 5: Like a house.
- 6:00Speaker 1: That was the thing that amazed me in Vietnam was
- 6:02Speaker 1: just how much shit people could get on a little scooter.
- 6:06Speaker 5: Like poos.
- 6:07Speaker 1: Well, no, like, you know, their whole work set up.
- 6:11Speaker 4: Well, it's the wife on the back, the kid in
- 6:13Speaker 4: the front.
- 6:14Speaker 1: Yeah, that freaked me out.
- 6:15Speaker 5: And the kid between the mum and dad as well.
- 6:16Speaker 1: Yes, yeah.
- 6:17Speaker 2: So good.
- 6:18Speaker 5: And then they'll have like a goat.
- 6:20Speaker 1: Yes.
- 6:20Speaker 5: That's fucking rules, man.
- 6:21Speaker 1: Or an ox.
- 6:22Speaker 4: And then you come back here and you're like, why
- 6:24Speaker 4: can't I carry everything on a small scooter?
- 6:26Speaker 6: Yeah, I have to have a special child seat for
- 6:31Speaker 6: my daughter until she's eight.
- 6:32Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's coming up pretty soon, isn't it?
- 6:34Speaker 2: All that sort of stuff. What's that, mate?
- 6:36Speaker 1: Your little bikey.
- 6:38Speaker 2: Oh, it is.
- 6:39Speaker 1: October, isn't it?
- 6:40Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 6:40Speaker 6: Well, they're saying November now.
- 6:43Speaker 5: Big hog moe.
- 6:43Speaker 1: Have you already paid for it?
- 6:45Speaker 2: I'll be completely honest with you. It's through the business, Jizz.
- 6:48Speaker 6: Oh, right.
- 6:49Speaker 2: Okay. But the thing that's a real pain in the
- 6:51Speaker 2: arse about it is I've started walking.
- 6:53Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 6:54Speaker 2: And you're loving it. And I love walking now, so
- 6:56Speaker 2: I don't actually need a bike.
- 6:58Speaker 1: It's great, isn't it? It's a time to contemplate and think.
- 7:01Speaker 2: It really is, and I don't have any headphones or
- 7:02Speaker 2: anything on.
- 7:03Speaker 6: I'm just wandering around having a think there and there.
- 7:06Speaker 2: It's an easy way to lose some calories. I've got
- 7:08Speaker 2: the film shoot coming up, fellas.
- 7:10Speaker 6: No doubt they'll force me to take my shirt off
- 7:12Speaker 6: at some time, or I'll force them to force me
- 7:13Speaker 6: to take my shirt off.
- 7:14Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. As you should, man, as
- 7:16Speaker 2: you should.
- 7:17Speaker 6: Yeah, it's good to get out and about and have
- 7:18Speaker 6: a think, because otherwise I've always been like, oh, I've
- 7:20Speaker 6: got to.
- 7:20Speaker 2: Get to work, I've got to get to work. But
- 7:22Speaker 2: you don't have to.
- 7:23Speaker 5: No, exactly.
- 7:24Speaker 2: It takes half an hour.
- 7:25Speaker 1: I kind of miss the drive from out west into
- 7:28Speaker 1: work because that was my downtime. Driving to work and
- 7:31Speaker 1: driving away from work. That was my downtime.
- 7:34Speaker 5: What about when you're at home? Is that not downtime?
- 7:36Speaker 1: Well, it is, but it's a different kind of downtime.
- 7:39Speaker 2: It is.
- 7:39Speaker 1: You know what I mean? When you're in your car,
- 7:40Speaker 1: you zone out. Yeah, you zone out pretty much.
- 7:43Speaker 5: And I haven't, honestly.
- 7:44Speaker 3: I'll turn the radio on occasionally if there's something on Hodaki.
- 7:48Speaker 2: Oh, definitely. Only Hodaki.
- 7:52Speaker 3: My stereo is always off. Like, just drive in silence.
- 7:56Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:56Speaker 5: Just ponder.
- 7:57Speaker 1: Rip an ass.
- 7:58Speaker 2: Sure. Jagging it.
- 7:59Speaker 6: Went to my daughter's school play last night.
- 8:03Speaker 2: Oh, how was that?
- 8:04Speaker 5: That's a hard pivot.
- 8:05Speaker 6: Um... Look, I can't talk about it on the show,
- 8:08Speaker 6: which is why I want to bring it up here.
- 8:10Speaker 6: It was absolutely terrible.
- 8:12Speaker 1: Right.
- 8:13Speaker 2: The acting? No, the kids were really good. The kids
- 8:17Speaker 2: were great.
- 8:18Speaker 1: The actors.
- 8:19Speaker 2: Because it amazes me that they can learn all the lines,
- 8:22Speaker 2: but they do.
- 8:23Speaker 1: I think kids are the best actors.
- 8:26Speaker 2: Oh, well, I'd refute that.
- 8:28Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can see some amazing performances from kids
- 8:33Speaker 1: because they buy into it so completely.
- 8:35Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:36Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
- 8:37Speaker 5: What about, like, would a kid be better than?
- 8:38Speaker 1: No.
- 8:40Speaker 5: Yeah, good point.
- 8:43Speaker 6: I mean, what's interesting is, and look, I say that
- 8:47Speaker 6: with the greatest of respect, the problem is I'm comparing
- 8:49Speaker 6: it to Moana, which was her first one a couple
- 8:51Speaker 6: of years ago, and that was fucking great.
- 8:53Speaker 1: Right. Oh, wow.
- 8:54Speaker 2: I was legitimately expecting, oh, God. Here we go. You're
- 8:56Speaker 2: supporting the school, and that's what you're there for. Get
- 8:58Speaker 2: them into the arts. Absolutely all about it. But Moana
- 9:02Speaker 2: was fantastic. But it seems like what they do is
- 9:04Speaker 2: there's places that do school productions. So you hire them.
- 9:09Speaker 2: They've got the script. They've got all the costumes. They
- 9:13Speaker 2: come in. They teach the kids how to do the
- 9:15Speaker 2: whole thing. And that's their job. That's what they do.
- 9:19Speaker 5: I don't like that.
- 9:21Speaker 2: You don't like that?
- 9:22Speaker 5: Oh, I suppose no. Primary school and that.
- 9:24Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 9:24Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:25Speaker 5: No, that's fair enough.
- 9:26Speaker 1: I've never heard of that before. So it's like a
- 9:28Speaker 1: company that.
- 9:29Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:30Speaker 1: Wow.
- 9:30Speaker 5: Which I hadn't heard of before.
- 9:32Speaker 2: But it was like three. Yeah, I don't think. I
- 9:34Speaker 2: think they've got most of the costumes. They're pretty fresh costumes.
- 9:36Speaker 2: But they had like, when you're trying to get three,
- 9:39Speaker 2: every kid in the school. So it's not a senior
- 9:41Speaker 2: production or anything like that. But there's 330 kids.
- 9:43Speaker 7: Wow.
- 9:43Speaker 2: Every one of them. gets up on the stage, every
- 9:47Speaker 2: one of them gets to do a song and dance number. Oh, God.
- 9:52Speaker 1: That sounds tedious.
- 9:53Speaker 6: Well, I tell you what, what would have been fine,
- 9:55Speaker 6: it would have been, because, you know, people listen to
- 9:57Speaker 6: the show from the school.
- 9:58Speaker 2: I think people by and large will agree with that.
- 10:00Speaker 2: me but it's 90 minutes long yeah no it's 90
- 10:06Speaker 2: minutes which is the same length as glenn gary glenn ross.
- 10:10Speaker 1: Yeah never seen that i can do an hour But
- 10:14Speaker 1: an hour and a half, was there an intermission?
- 10:16Speaker 2: No, thankfully.
- 10:17Speaker 1: Yeah, thank God.
- 10:18Speaker 2: But there's also no snacks.
- 10:19Speaker 3: An hour, because there's too many kids for one play
- 10:22Speaker 3: for 90 minutes. You need like an hour or 50
- 10:24Speaker 3: minutes of your class, like three classrooms worth of kids.
- 10:28Speaker 2: Yeah. Doing all the stuff. That's interesting.
- 10:30Speaker 1: My wife.
- 10:31Speaker 6: Would you not alternate one year half the school and
- 10:34Speaker 6: then the other year the other half of the school
- 10:36Speaker 6: or something?
- 10:36Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 10:37Speaker 2: Maybe.
- 10:37Speaker 1: My wife teaches drama to like seven and eight year olds.
- 10:41Speaker 1: Bit of a nightmare apparently. She often finds herself going, you, you, you,
- 10:46Speaker 1: and you.
- 10:46Speaker 2: Yeah, my daughter does it.
- 10:47Speaker 1: Go outside and have a run.
- 10:49Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 10:49Speaker 1: Just go and have a run.
- 10:50Speaker 2: Great.
- 10:51Speaker 1: And then they go and run it off.
- 10:52Speaker 2: You can put teacher in chariots of fire.
- 10:53Speaker 1: Yes, exactly.
- 10:54Speaker 5: And then they go, what?
- 10:56Speaker 6: But it's a hell of an achievement by everyone, like
- 10:58Speaker 6: this company that does it.
- 11:00Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 11:00Speaker 6: These kids, it's all, there might be 15 song and dancers.
- 11:06Speaker 2: Wow.
- 11:07Speaker 3: Wow.
- 11:09Speaker 1: It's pretty amazing.
- 11:09Speaker 2: It's unreal. And everyone has.
- 11:10Speaker 6: Got a song that you've never heard before in your life.
- 11:12Speaker 6: And the kids that aren't on the stage are in
- 11:16Speaker 6: the chorus. So they're the chorus for the whole song.
- 11:18Speaker 6: So they're singing the whole thing.
- 11:20Speaker 5: So if Mogi Minogi.
- 11:21Speaker 3: Comes out and sings part of the first song, will
- 11:23Speaker 3: you then not see Mogi Minogi again until like song seven?
- 11:26Speaker 6: I can tell you what happened, Keezy. I didn't see
- 11:28Speaker 6: Mogi Minogi until the very last scene.
- 11:31Speaker 2: See, that's great. And then I spent the entire time
- 11:34Speaker 2: looking for her on the stage.
- 11:35Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 11:36Speaker 6: And I found her right at the very end, like
- 11:38Speaker 6: I'm recording everything else.
- 11:40Speaker 2: Yeah. And what was funny was she was a red comet.
- 11:44Speaker 2: She was a red comet. That was her role. There
- 11:46Speaker 2: were about 80 red comets.
- 11:48Speaker 5: See, there's too many kids.
- 11:50Speaker 1: It's too many.
- 11:51Speaker 6: Without a word of a lie. And so you're trying
- 11:52Speaker 6: to find her. She looks exactly the same as everybody
- 11:54Speaker 6: else on the stage. And I finally found her only
- 11:56Speaker 6: because as she was coming off the.
- 11:57Speaker 2: Stage, she was last.
- 11:59Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 11:59Speaker 2: And she dropped something. So that means she got kind
- 12:01Speaker 2: of a solo. Oh God, she's got her dance. She
- 12:03Speaker 2: stopped to pick it up. Yeah, yeah. She was upstaging.
- 12:05Speaker 1: Upstaging everyone.
- 12:06Speaker 2: Typical. But she had a ball.
- 12:08Speaker 5: Left her wallet and phone on stage. Hey, listen to
- 12:11Speaker 5: the big show. Four to seven weekdays.
- 12:13Speaker 2: Hauraki.
- 12:13Speaker 5: Although we're on bricky next week.
- 12:14Speaker 2: Yeah, we're on bricky.
- 12:15Speaker 5: Just on the Monday day.