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The Quarter-Life Crisis Explained · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And today I want to talk about something that is not often talked about, but I end up working with a lot of individuals around, which is the quarter life crisis.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in your mid to late 20s or early 30s, maybe you've had moments of feeling lost or overwhelmed or feel like you should have your life figured out by now.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to just say, first of all, stop.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: You're not alone.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of us have gone through it.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now, yes, I'm past this point, but it doesn't mean I didn't have those moments, and it doesn't mean that I'm not equipped to talk you through it.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: But it's important to recognize that this stage of life comes with a lot of changes.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're transitioning out of college into the workforce, or maybe your career is starting out, but you're questioning if you're in the right field.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe your relationships are getting more serious and you start to feel the pressure that you need to settle down or maybe start a family, or maybe you feel like you should be further along in life.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that thought starts to make you feel a little panicked.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if any of this resonates with you, maybe this episode would be worth worth listening to, or maybe if you know somebody who might be going through this, you might want to just listen in to see if there's anything here that little nuggets that you can take with you.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: So why do we even have quarter life crises?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why, where does this term even come from?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's a reason that this phase can feel so overwhelming.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's because it is a major transition period.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: For most of your life, the path was pretty straightforward.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: You go to school, you graduate, maybe you go to college, or maybe you go to school and then maybe you you go into a trade.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, for the most part, our you know, zero to 18 is pretty scripted for most of us.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying for everybody, but then suddenly there's no set roadmap.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, once that script is complete, you're kind of thrown into the real world with jobs and bills, responsibilities, big decisions.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Someone got to take care of your own insurance, um, you know, pay for your car, these types of things.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it can feel very scary.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: And many of us also set big expectations for ourselves, whether we do it consciously or unconsciously.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe by now you've thought, hmm, I should be in my dream job, or I should be completely financially stable, or have all of my debts paid off, or be in the perfect relationship, or be on my way to having kids.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and if those things haven't fallen into place, it's easy to start spiraling into self-doubt and also self-criticism.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the truth: there really isn't a right timeline.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's journey looks different.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: And just because things aren't happening as quickly for you or for what maybe what you expected, it doesn't mean that you're failing.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: It means that you're learning and you're evolving.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this phase, it's another launch pad for growth.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's what life is about.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's launch pad after launch pad for more growth.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we work through a quarter life crisis?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what do we do if we're feeling lost or stuck?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about maybe some tangible ways to move through the phase instead of it just letting it consume you.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: The very first thing is we got to pay attention to the inner critic.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: We have to stop being so hard on oneself, right?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: We have to start, you know, with the idea that self-compassion is important.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if a friend came to you and said, I feel like I'm feeling at life, you wouldn't tell them, you know, you're right, you should be ashamed of yourself.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, you would reassure your them and you'd remind them of everything that they've already potentially accomplished and what potentials they have, and you'd remind them of the strengths that they have and you'd encourage them to keep going.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So why would you talk to yourself any differently?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's okay not to have everything figured out.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the truth is none of us really do.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: We have certain things figured out, but then we kind of have to respond to the stuff that happens as it happens.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: So give yourself permission to explore, give yourself permission to make mistakes and to take the time it takes.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're still evolving, and that's actually a really good thing.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: The second thing is, is we gotta recognize comparison and shift it, right?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've all heard before comparison is the thief of joy.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, we would stop comparing if we could, but it's natural, it's human.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: But we have to start looking at comparison in a different way.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: So when you're scrolling through social media and you're seeing people, you know, get promotions or internships or getting engaged or traveling the world, you know, first of all, you're seeing their highlight reel.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: You're not seeing what went into that or any struggles or doubts that they might be dealing with, but also you're looking at their path.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: And their path isn't your path, it yours is your own.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so while you can look at those things and maybe compare it as like, wow, they were able to accomplish that.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: What could be possible for me?
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's a way to utilize comparison for the for your benefit instead of saying, oh my gosh, they're that far and I'm not, and then letting the inner critic beat you down.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: A third thing to think about is start journaling.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: If your thoughts are all over the place and you feel stuck, start writing things down.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself space between the thoughts you're having in you.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: And journaling is not just about venting, it's really a tool to help bring clarity.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: It helps you organize your thoughts, it helps you figure out what your own patterns are, but it also gives you space between the thoughts that you're having in yourself.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So try prompts like, you know, what makes me feel the most energized and excited?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: What are the things I've always wanted to try, but maybe have held myself back to, back from, or, you know, I just talked myself out of.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: If failure wasn't an option, what might I try to do?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, those are just some ideas to get you started.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: But when you when you start journaling and getting your thoughts out on paper, you do have distance from them and you can start observing them and seeing them more clearly.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: And another thing to remember is to lean on your people.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're you don't have to go through any of this alone.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Talk to your support system, talk to your friends, your family, your mentors, people who may have been through this stage before, because they can remind you that first of all, it's normal.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes they can give you some insights into maybe how they worked through it, not telling you what to do, but to just give you some ideas.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't have people in your immediate circle who understand, either see if you can seek some out or potentially look for coaches who happen to do this type of work because this is what we as coaches enjoy doing.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: We help we work towards helping you see what you might not be able to see on your own.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes a quarter life crisis is less about knowing what you want to do and more about recognizing that you just haven't had enough experience yet to have everything figured out.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: So try things, you know, explore a new hobby, explore interests.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe it's time to travel, just maybe it just switching up your routine could be something that could give you information on what excites you versus what drains you.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Remember that no experience is a wasted experience.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: No matter what you're going through in life, it's teaching you something.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Even the challenges we have are absolutely teaching us something.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's about redefining what success is.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Again, a lot of times when we find ourselves going through a quarter life crisis, it's because we had some definition of success.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to ask where did that definition come from in the first place?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And what if I'm ready to redefine what success looks like?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because success is a personal thing.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a one size fits all.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe for you, success is creating a sense of freedom, or maybe it's having time for yourself, or maybe it is about your emotional well-being, and that's actually successful to focus on that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe it is a high-paying job, but it's about defining success for you, not what the external world tells you success should be.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: A quarter life crisis isn't a sign that you're failing.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: It really is a sign that you're learning and growing.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it can feel challenging, but remember that that challenge offers you a way to continue to learn about yourself and to get curious about different parts of yourself and then getting intentional about what it is that you want for your future rather than what you feel like you're being told is the right thing to do for your future.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in the middle of this, remember you're not behind.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're allowed to take your time and you are absolutely capable of figuring things out.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to give yourself grace and to really stay compassionately curious with yourself because your path is unfolding just as it's meant to be unfolding.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: If this topic resonates with you or you believe that it would resonate with somebody you know, please feel free to share it with them.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And if you feel like coaching is something you'd like to explore at any time, feel free to book a time just to chat with me at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.