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The First Step In Organising One’s Life Around a Central Will or Aspiration · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  Those who have an aspiration for spiritual growth for the change
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  of human nature within themselves, eventually find that
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  they cannot live haphazardly at the mercy of whatever forces
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  impulses ideas or thoughts happen to be moving within them
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  at any point in time, regardless, of the source or the
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  intention behind those movements.
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  The aspiration becomes a will to grow.
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  A will, to change a will to progress.
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  And this involves several steps to ensure that the being is
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  coalescing around the aspiration and not random vital, impulses
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  or ideas. The first step is to learn how
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  to observe one's own being so that one can see those impulses
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  thoughts and drives in action. See where they come from, how
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  they Impact the being and what result they bring about?
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  After some time of observation, it becomes clear that these
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  impulses actions and reactions do not really have a coordinated
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  goal, but in many cases are actually opposed to one another
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  and thus create internal conflict within the being or a
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  sense that one is unable to succeed in ones goals or
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  aspirations because of drives habits.
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  Tendencies Etc. That drive, the being in a
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  totally different direction. This observational stage needs
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  to occur without the mental bias or overlay that tries to explain
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  away or Justify all these things.
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  Rather it needs two more and more shift the standpoint away
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  from the ego Center to that of the independent witness
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  Consciousness. The mother responds to the
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  following statement In oneself, there are contradictory Wills.
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  The mother observes quote. Yes, many that is one of the
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  very first discoveries. There is one part which wants
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  things this way and then at another moment another way and a
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  third time one want still. Another thing besides there is
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  even this something that wants an another which those know so
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  but it is exactly that which has to be found if you wish in the
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  least. Organize yourself.
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  Why not project yourself upon a screen as in the cinnamon and
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  then look at yourself, moving on it.
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  How interesting it is. This is the first step you
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  project yourself on the screen and then observe and see all
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  that is moving there and how it moves and what happens you make
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  a little diagram. It becomes so interesting them
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  and quote reference. SRI, aurobindo and the mother
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  living within the yoga approach to psychological health and
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  growth. Exercises for growth and Mastery
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  self-observation and self-organization Pages 126 to
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  131.