Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor Outside Your Industry
Transcript
- Lucas: Alright, today I want to talk about something that came up in listener mail — and honestly, it's one of those questions I hear in nearly every career coaching conversation I've had over the past few years. Luna: What's that? Lucas: How do you find a mentor when you want someone from a completely different industry? Not just a different company — a different field entirely. Like, you're a marketing manager and you want a mentor who's a product lead at a fintech startup. Or you're in operations and you want to learn from someone in venture capital. Luna: Right — because the usual advice is find someone in your own industry who's a few steps ahead. But what if you don't want to stay in your industry? Lucas: Exactly. And the standard playbook breaks down a little. So I want to use a specific example. I was talking to a listener — let's call her Priya — she's a senior marketing manager at a consumer goods company. She wanted to break into product management at a fintech company. She didn't know anyone in fintech. Zero overlap in her network. Luna: That's a huge gap. How did she even start? Lucas: She tried the shotgun approach first — sent LinkedIn messages to about 20 product managers at fintech companies. Got one reply, and that person was too busy. So she came to me frustrated. And I told her: the problem isn't that people don't want to help — it's that your ask is too vague and too demanding. Luna: Can you unpack that? What was she actually saying in her messages? Lucas: She was writing things like 'I admire your career path and would love to pick your brain about product management.' Which is fine — but it's also the same message 50 other people send. It doesn't signal that you've done your homework, and it asks for an open-ended hour of someone's time. Luna: So what did you tell her to change? Lucas: I gave her a three-step framework. Step one: target the right person. Not just anyone in product — someone whose specific career move mirrors what she wanted. So she found a product manager who had also come from marketing. That's a smaller pool, but the connection is immediately obvious. Luna: That makes sense — it's easier to say yes to someone who reminds you of yourself. Lucas: Step two: craft a low-friction ask. Instead of 'can we grab coffee,' she wrote a specific email — LinkedIn message — saying: 'I see you moved from marketing at a consumer brand to product at a fintech. I'm looking to make a similar transition. Would you be open to a 15-minute call where I can ask you two specific questions about how you made that shift?' That's concrete, it's time-bound, and it shows respect. Luna: Two questions — I like that. Did it work? Lucas: She sent six of those. Got four positive replies. One of them turned into a monthly mentoring relationship. The key was that she didn't lead with 'be my mentor' — she led with a specific, low-commitment request. The mentorship grew from there. Luna: I think that's a huge insight. Because a lot of people think you have to ask directly 'will you be my mentor?' and that's a heavy ask for someone who doesn't know you. Lucas: Exactly. And step three is about building the relationship once you've had that first call. You can't just disappear for three months and then ping them again. You need to follow up with a brief update — 'I took your advice and did X, here's what happened.' That shows you're coachable and that their time mattered. Luna: I want to push back a little though. I've heard people say cold LinkedIn messages never work. But your example shows they can — with the right framing. So what's the line between effective and spam? Lucas: I think the line is specificity. If you can show that you've actually looked at their profile, that you understand their trajectory, and that you have a clear reason for reaching out — not just 'you're successful, teach me' — then it's respectful. If it's a template you've sent to 50 people, it's spam. Luna: I've got an example from my own network. A friend of mine — software engineer — wanted to learn about investment banking. Completely different world. He found a VP at a bank who had a side interest in tech. He didn't lead with the banking stuff — he led with a question about a tech trend he knew the VP cared about. Lucas: That's smart. He used a shared interest as a bridge. And that's actually a great tactic when you're going outside your industry — find a human commonality, not just a professional one. Luna: Exactly. They ended up talking for 30 minutes about AI in finance, and then he pivoted to 'how did you break into banking?' That became a six-month mentoring relationship. Lucas: So the lesson there is: don't lead with the ask. Lead with a genuine question or shared interest. The mentoring emerges naturally. And I think that's especially true when you're crossing industries, because you can't rely on industry shorthand to bond over. Luna: What about when you get a 'no' — or worse, a non-reply? How do you handle that? Lucas: First, assume good intent. People are busy. If you don't hear back in a week, send one polite follow-up. If that doesn't work, move on. But I want to talk about a specific kind of 'no' that's actually a gift — when someone says 'I don't think I'm the right person to mentor you.' Luna: Interesting. Most people would be discouraged by that. Lucas: Right, but sometimes that person is actually doing you a favor. They might not have the bandwidth, or they might genuinely not be a good fit. But if they're thoughtful, they'll often recommend someone else. Priya actually got a 'no' from one product manager who said 'I don't think I can help, but here are three people who might be better.' That's gold. Luna: So the 'no' can become a referral network. That's a great reframe. Lucas: Exactly. And if they don't offer a referral, you can gently ask: 'Is there anyone else you'd recommend I speak with?' Most people will give you one or two names if they're genuinely not the right fit. Luna: I want to touch on something else — the difference between a mentor and a sponsor. Because when you're outside your industry, you might not even know what you need. Lucas: That's a great point. A mentor gives you advice and perspective. A sponsor actually advocates for you — opens doors, makes introductions, puts your name forward. When you're outside an industry, a sponsor is incredibly valuable because they can vouch for you in a room you're not in. Luna: So when you're reaching out to someone outside your industry, are you looking for a mentor or a sponsor? And how does that change your ask? Lucas: I think you start with mentor — advice and perspective. You can't ask a stranger to sponsor you. But as the relationship develops, if they see your competence and drive, they may naturally become a sponsor. The key is to earn that trust first. Luna: That resonates. I've seen people burn bridges by asking for a job referral on the first call. Lucas: Exactly. So let's wrap up with a practical framework. If you want a mentor outside your industry, here's your checklist. One: identify three people whose career path mirrors your desired transition — not just successful people, but people who made a similar move. Two: craft a specific, low-friction ask — 15 minutes, two questions, no open-ended coffee. Three: follow up with a concrete update after the call. And four: if they say no, ask for a referral. Luna: I'd add a fifth: be patient. Relationships like this take time. You might send 10 messages and get two replies. That's okay. Lucas: Absolutely. And one last thing — if you're listening and you've had success crossing industries to find a mentor, I'd love to hear your story. Drop us a note. We read every message. Luna: On that note — quick honest thing. A handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what funds making this many episodes. Lucas: Yeah, it's true. We keep the show ad-free because of that support. So if you've gotten value from our episodes, especially this one, and you want to help keep it going — no pressure, but that's where you can find us. Luna: And we're back to our topic. So, Lucas, one more thing I want to ask: what about the person who is the mentor? How do you know if you're the right person to mentor someone from outside your industry? Lucas: That's a great question for a future episode. But briefly — I think if you're willing to be honest about what you don't know, and you're open to learning from the mentee's perspective, you can be a great mentor even if you're not in their industry. The skill of mentoring is about asking good questions, not having all the answers. Luna: I think that's the perfect note to end on. Thanks for listening, everyone. Lucas: Yeah, we'll be back next week with another episode. Until then.