Latest / Repcolite Home Improvement Show / The Psychology of Cozy: How to Create Spaces People Actually Want to Be In; PLUS! Where Thanksgiving Colors Originated

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The Psychology of Cozy: How to Create Spaces People Actually Want to Be In; PLUS! Where Thanksgiving Colors Originated · Repcolite Home Improvement Show

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, thanks for tuning in. This is Home in Progress,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: sponsored by Repelite Paints and Benjamin More. And yeah, it's
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Thanksgiving weekend. How was your Thanksgiving? I probably? No, no, no,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: probably is about it. I should have wished to everybody
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: out happy Thanksgiving last weekend, but won't. Won't. Won't somebody
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: didn't think of that. Yeah, I'm doing all this other
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: heavy lifting with my brain so I can bring good
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: stuff too on the show. And I didn't even think
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: of that. So Happy Thanksgiving belatedly. Most of my cards
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: that I send, most of my birthday wishes, most of
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: the things that I send to other people. I have
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: to add the word belatedly because as much heavy lifting
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I'm using air quotes there as much heavy lifting as
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: my brain does. Like I just hinted at earlier, I
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: don't really think there's a whole lot of heavy lifting
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: going on. My brain just kind of phones it in,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: does what it's gonna do. And I have to say
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: belatedly a lot if I even remember to wish people
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: a happy birthday or whatever. So Happy Thanksgiving, Happy belated Thanksgiving.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: What are you all doing today? Are you setting up
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: your Christmas stuff? Are you putting up Christmas lights? Are
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: you dealing with leaves on the yard? I think that's
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: what I'm gonna be doing at my house, dealing with
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: leaves in the yard. Maybe you're just crashing. Well on
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: the show this week, we're gonna kind of just crash.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: We're gonna put strict, you know, legit home improvement stuff
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: on hold, and we're gonna have a bit of a
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: holiday episode. I've got some really interesting stuff regarding the
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: psychology of cozy. For example, we're gonna be talking about that,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: the psychology of cozy. Maybe that sounds really dumb, Chances
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: are it does, but I'm really excited about this segment.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You know, how can rooms that are decorated with the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: same main colors and with similar decre how can they
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: produce different results? You know, one can feel cozy and inviting,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: the other can feel, you know, weirdly sterile or cold.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: What in the world is going on there? Shouldn't color
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: choices determine the feel of the room. Well, there's more
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: to it than just color choices. And we're going to
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: talk about what it takes to make the cozy, inviting
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: holiday spaces that we all want. And that's coming up.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I also want to talk about the traditional Thanksgiving color palette.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: You know, I know Thanksgiving is passed, but it's just passed,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: so I can still do this. And really, when you
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: think about it, where did that come from? You know,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: the traditional colors that we associate with Thanksgiving? Where did
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: that come from? Seems like a really easy answer, But
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: the chances are if you think you know what it is,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you're probably wrong. I think the answer is going to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: surprise you. We'll get to that, but first I want
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: to talk about a room in the American house, you know,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: the standard, the usual, the typical American house that reached
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: its golden age, its absolute peak in popularity, largely because
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: of Thanksgiving. Okay, what room in the American home reached
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: its golden age largely because of Thanksgiving? It's not the bathroom.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: You know, that's always been popular, you know, ever since
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: they moved the bathroom indoors, it's been a favorite for
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: many people. Well, actually, I think when they first moved
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: the bathroom indoors, there are a lot of people thinking
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: this is nuts. What are we doing putting that in
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: the house. That makes no sense. But after they got
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: used to the idea and they realized how the plumbing
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: would work, and that it was actually you know, you
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I don't need to go into detail.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: It worked out. People really love that indoor bathroom. I
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: don't think we're ever going back to putting those outside
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: if we can help it. But that's not the room
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: that I'm talking about anyway. That's just me wandering down
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  Speaker 1: a trail. The space that reached its golden age thanks
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  Speaker 1: to Thanksgiving is the formal dining room. And this is
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: kind of fun. It's one of those stories where architecture,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Victorian etiquette, women's magazines, and a turkey with all the
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: trimmings collide in a really interesting way. Okay, let's go
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: back early eighteen hundreds. You know, in a typical American
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  Speaker 1: home at that point, middle class are below. There wasn't
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  Speaker 1: a dining room. Instead, you did all your cooking, all
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  Speaker 1: your eating, you're working, you're playing, sometimes even you're sleeping
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  Speaker 1: in the same one or two rooms. You know, A
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  Speaker 1: permanent room whose only job was to sit there and
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  Speaker 1: wait patiently for dinners to be served would have been insane,
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  Speaker 1: you know, a complete waste of space. Even wealthy medieval Europeans,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: you know, Europeans, people with fancy, funny accents and wealth.
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  Speaker 1: Even they didn't have dining rooms, at least not the
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: way that we picture them. You know. They had great hauls,
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  Speaker 1: you know, with great big trestle tables that went up
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  Speaker 1: for the feast and then they came down afterwards, eating
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  Speaker 1: a meals and sharing a table. Really weren't things that
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  Speaker 1: dramatically changed architecture. But the start changing in the eighteen
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  Speaker 1: forties and the eighteen fifties, you know, slowly and mostly
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  Speaker 1: among the well off. So I wouldn't have seen this
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  Speaker 1: if I were living back then, but the well off
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  Speaker 1: started to see this change, you know, and it happened
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: as Victorian ideas about refinement and privacy start to take hold.
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  Speaker 1: And this is also when the Victorian belief in separate
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: spheres emerged. You know, this is basically the idea that
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: men belonged in the public world while women manage the home.
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  Speaker 1: You know, all of that's coming about, and that mindset
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  Speaker 1: starts pushing houses towards more specialized rooms, right, so the
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  Speaker 1: dining room starts to kind of pick up a little
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: bit because of that. Then you've got etiquette writers like
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  Speaker 1: Catherine Beecher and Eliza Leslie. And they're arguing that the
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  Speaker 1: sites and the smells of cooking should be hidden from
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  Speaker 1: the guests. Well, in some instances that's absolutely true. You know,
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  Speaker 1: depending on how good you are at those things. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: the sites and smells of cooking, it's not something you
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  Speaker 1: want your guests to see. You don't want them to
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  Speaker 1: see how the sausage is made, you know, figuratively there.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll make a meal and I'll think, boy, I'm
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: glad none of the kids saw how I put that together. Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, I don't think that's what
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  Speaker 1: they were getting at. I think they were being a
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  Speaker 1: little more prim and proper when they were saying that
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  Speaker 1: those things should be kept from the guests. You know,
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  Speaker 1: they were saying that a proper family needed a dedicated
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  Speaker 1: space to displace civility. Right in that place would be
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  Speaker 1: something like the dining room. It's uncivil in the kitchen
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  Speaker 1: where everything is just going nuts, you're killing the chicken
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  Speaker 1: or whatever. But in the dining room, everybody's got their
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  Speaker 1: civil clothes on and we're all acting cool. Right, So
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  Speaker 1: that's where things are. And because those ladies are saying it,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: and they were like, you know, I should give a
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  Speaker 1: quick scoop on these ladies, Catherine Beecher and Eliza Leslie.
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  Speaker 1: You know, when they wrote things, they were basically the
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  Speaker 1: Victorian equivalent of lifestyle influencers like good ones. Their books
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  Speaker 1: were best sellers. Families treated their advice the way many
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: folks treat, you know, like a top HGTV designer today,
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  Speaker 1: like it was the official word on how a proper
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: home should look and run. So if Beecher and Leslie
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  Speaker 1: said it, it was gold. And so when they say,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: you know that that dining rooms are important, or that
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  Speaker 1: this space for civility is important, while the wealthiest homes
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  Speaker 1: start adding true dining rooms to their layouts, to their architecture,
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  Speaker 1: to their homes. But here's where it gets really good.
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  Speaker 1: The dining room doesn't become common, you know, it doesn't
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  Speaker 1: become something that the hoi polloi, you know, the common
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  Speaker 1: folks had in their homes until after the Civil War.
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  Speaker 1: And Thanksgiving was absolutely key in bringing it about. Now,
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  Speaker 1: it all starts when good old, honest abe hon A
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  Speaker 1: Stable Lincoln makes Thanksgiving a national holiday in eighteen sixty three,
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  Speaker 1: but it really catches on in the late eighteen eighties
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  Speaker 1: and eighteen nineties and into the early nineteen hundreds when
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  Speaker 1: women's magazines, you know, Goady's Lady's Book, Ladies Home Journal,
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  Speaker 1: Good Housekeeping, when these magazines turn thanks Giving into this elaborate, aspirational,
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  Speaker 1: once a year domestic extravaganza that we all recognize. Now, Now,
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  Speaker 1: those magazines that I was talking about, they didn't just
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  Speaker 1: give you recipes and stuff. They gave you full page
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  Speaker 1: spreads of perfectly set tables, you know, centerpieces, the correct
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  Speaker 1: distance between fork and plate. And crucially, they gave you
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  Speaker 1: photographs of beautiful dining rooms with settings for a large
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  Speaker 1: gathering of guests. Now we get down on social media
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  Speaker 1: today a little bit, and maybe rightly so in some regards.
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  Speaker 1: But man, I know you all heard what I just
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  Speaker 1: said about those magazines and instantly thought, or at least
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: a lot of you did. You instantly thought, hey, wait
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: a minute, kind of sounds like Facebook and Instagram. You know,
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  Speaker 1: the same photo shoots, you know, the same perfection displayed,
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  Speaker 1: the same guilt induced because my home doesn't look anything
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  Speaker 1: like that home. Yep, all of that was the same
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  Speaker 1: even back then. And suddenly middle class families realized their
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  Speaker 1: homes and their stuff and their lives. We're all garbage,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: they're all inadequate. Right, I'm joking a little bit, but
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  Speaker 1: really they did face this kind of a dilemma. They
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  Speaker 1: were seeing those magazines and seeing what a real Thanksgiving
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  Speaker 1: was supposed to look like. You know, that's the idea
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  Speaker 1: that's being conveyed, and they were flummixed. They were bewildered.
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  Speaker 1: They were perplexed. You know, where do you go and seat,
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  Speaker 1: you know, twelve sixteen, twenty people without cramming everybody into
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  Speaker 1: the kitchen where we're making all the food, we're killing
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  Speaker 1: the chickens or the turkeys or whatever. We can't do
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  Speaker 1: that in there. They can't see all of that. We
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  Speaker 1: can't fit them in there. Where we go we put
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  Speaker 1: them in the parlor, they might spill gravy all over
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  Speaker 1: the sofa. That would stink. Then they went back to
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  Speaker 1: those magazines and look closer, and suddenly the light went off.
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  Speaker 1: It was clear there it is. It's a special room
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  Speaker 1: for eating stuff. That's what we need. We need a
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  Speaker 1: room that's nicer than the kitchen, but not as nice
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  Speaker 1: as the parlor. We need an in between room that's
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  Speaker 1: built for eating things. For cramming food into our face,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: and America answered that call, that need answered with the
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  Speaker 1: dining room, you know, built in china, cabinets, plate rails,
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  Speaker 1: swinging doors to hide the kitchen chaos, massive oak tables
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  Speaker 1: that could extend forever. Go online and dig up plans
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: for any of the old Sears kit houses, or the
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: layout for any Craftsman bungalow, any four square from eighteen
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  Speaker 1: ninety five to nineteen twenty five. You know, if you
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: look at houses in that range, the dining rooms are
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: going to be front and center. You know, before then
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: it wasn't really a thing in house layouts. Afterward, it's
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  Speaker 1: the heart of the design. So in the end, Thanksgiving
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  Speaker 1: didn't just use the dining room. You know, we didn't
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: just have Thanksgiving and thank goodness, we've got a dining
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  Speaker 1: room for it. It was kind of one of the
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  Speaker 1: key elements, and the promotion of Thanksgiving in those magazines
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  Speaker 1: is what made the dining room essential or kind of
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: required for which is exactly what essential means for the
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  Speaker 1: common people. Remember, the rich people already had one, the
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: fancy people had one, but the Haye peloid, the regular folks,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: the dans among us, they didn't have one until man
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  Speaker 1: we started seeing Thanksgiving promoted in those magazines and we
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: wanted that space. And then all of a sudden, you know,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: after a number of years, we all changed our minds,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: you know, starting in the nineteen thirties, but especially after
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  Speaker 1: World War Two, the formal dining room kind of starts
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: to go away. By the nineteen nineties, the two thousands,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: pretty much it's disappeared from new house plans entirely. But
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: there was that span of time when the dining room
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  Speaker 1: reigned supreme, and a big reason that it came to
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  Speaker 1: the forefront was because of Thanksgiving. All right, So now
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: you've got that information, you're that much smarter. Now let's
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: shift gears and talk about the origin story behind the
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Thanksgiving color palette. Do you know how we ended up
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: with oranges and browns and greens as the colors of Thanksgiving?
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  Speaker 1: I bet you think you know, but I bet you're wrong.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: We're going to get to the right answer right after
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: this homean Progress is brought to you by recole Like
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Paints and Benjamin Moore. You know, people often think of
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: paint as just another line item on the project's supply list.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Everything you do, every hour of prep,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: every stroke of the brush, all comes down to the
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: quality of the paint. The paint is the project. Make
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: sure it's the best. Let's start this segment, this brilliant segment,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: with a pop quiz. When you picture Thanksgiving, what colors
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: do you see? All right? Think it through. It's not
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: much of a pop quiz. Most of us are going
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: to have the same answers. Burnt orange, harvest gold, rusty browns.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: You know that unmistakable kind of muddy green color that
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: seems to fill in all the gaps, kind of ooze
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: around everything else. Those are the colors we picture. Here's
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: a tougher question, why you know, why are those the
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: traditional colors of Thanksgiving? What do you think? Well? I
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: always figured that it had something to do with the
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: fall colors that are outside, right, Orange, pumpkins, you know,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: leaves that are turning colors. Grass that isn't healthy anymore.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: It's not that healthy green anymore. It's kind of a
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: little bit muted, a little bit sickly, but it really
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: works with the orange and the other colors. That's where
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I figured it came from. Well, here's something that really
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: caught me. By surprise, our traditional air quotes traditional Thanksgiving
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: colors aren't really all that traditional. Instead, they're a mid
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  Speaker 1: century invention. Basically, they were locked in place during the
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: late nineteen sixties, nineteen sixties, and early nineteen seventies. And
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: why why were they locked in place back then? Can
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: you guess yet another question for everybody to think about,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Why back then were those colors locked in place? And
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: why did they from that point on become the traditional colors. Well,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: think back to homes in the late sixties, in the
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: early seventies, maybe you lived it, maybe you can imagine
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: it from pictures. Anything jump out at you. Well, at
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: that point, those colors, those traditional Thanksgiving colors, they were
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: colors that perfectly matched everybody's kitchen appliances, their shag carpet,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: their wallpaper, they're paneling, pretty much everything in their home
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: was composed of those colors. You know, the common misconception
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: is that we're decorating when we do Thanksgiving decorating, we're
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: decorating with the colors of autumn. But really we're just
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: using the exact color scheme of a nineteen seventy one
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: frigid air Now, I know that's maybe a leap sounds
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: like a leap, and maybe you doubt. You're at tempted
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: to doubt what I'm saying, But hold on, I've got proof.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Not just shooting off at the mouth here, I've got proof.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Before the nineteen fifties, Thanksgiving wasn't really one of those
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: decorating holidays, not like it is now. You know, Christmas
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: got the lights, Easter got the pastels, and Thanksgiving got
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: you know, a turkey and a white tablecloth, maybe some
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: real leaves if you were fancy. The color came from
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: the food, not the craft store. Things start to change
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: after World War Two. Glossy magazines and department stores begin
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: branding every holiday. We talked about that a little bit
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: in the last segment in those magazines. But even then,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: even though they're demonstrating what Thanksgiving should look like, all
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: the way through the fifties, the look was still muted.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: You know, lots of tan, lots of soft yellow, lots
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: of beige. And then the nineteen sixties hit and America
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: falls hard for earth tones. You know, harvest gold refrigerators,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: which yeah, came out a little earlier, but they really
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: came to the forefront in the mid sixties. They were
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: big avocado green stoves, burnt orange sofas, brown paneling, gold
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: shag carpet. All of that stuff. That's what fills our homes.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: And here's something to think about, and you know, to
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: help understand my bigger point. When we're talking about a
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: gold refrigerator or an avocado stove or a burnt orange sofa,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: we're not talking about things that are in this year
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: and out next year. Or a better way to say
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: it would be, even if these things were out next year,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: they weren't cool next year, who's replacing them? Right? We
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: don't buy ovens and refrigerators and couches and install carpet
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: only to change it with the next trend most of us, don't.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You know. Once people put these in their homes, they
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: live with them for a good long time, as long
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: as we can. We want to eke out as much
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: life as we can out of that stove because we
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: don't want to buy another one. So with that reality
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: in place, there was a little marketing genius stuff going
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: on when paper goods companies and dime stores started rolling
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: out the very first Thanksgiving only plates, you know, napkins, tablecloths, candles,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: things like that. In the late sixties when that started
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to come about. They deliberately picked colors that would look
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: perfect next to your harvest gold range and that avocado
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: dishwasher sitting in three quarters of American kitchens. It wasn't
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: about fall leaves. It was about not clashing with the
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: refrigerator or the paneling, or the carpet or the stove. Well,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: by the early nineteen seventies, that palette was set in stone.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: And the kids that ate off of those plates, you know,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: through those years they grew up, they had their own families,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: and when they went looking for Thanksgiving decor, those are
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: the colors that felt like Thanksgiving, that feels like home,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: that feels like Grandma's house, that feels like tradition. Of course,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: eventually the appliance has died, the shade, carpet got ripped out,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: the paneling got replaced, But that Thanksgiving palette that stayed forever.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I think it's here forever. You know, today we've abandoned
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: a fair amount of those tones. We don't see all
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: of those. They had some resurgence times and maybe they're
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: coming back a little bit, but few people are putting
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: harvest gold backsplashes in their new kitchen. But if you
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: walk into any craft store, you know, in October, you
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: do that, and it's nineteen seventy one, nineteen sixty nine
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: all over again, orange and brown as far as you
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: can see. Influencers and designers they periodically try to break
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: free from this lockdown Thanksgiving palette and they try to
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: bring in deep jewel tones, maybe creamy neutrals, some elegant whites,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: all of that. It works, It does work, but it
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: doesn't really catch on. And it doesn't catch on because
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: it's not Thanksgiving. That's just not Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is probably
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: the most nostalgic holiday we have. It's literally about recreating
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: the past, and for two generations of Americans, that past
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: look like a sunset colored kitchen aid and a brown
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: dining room wall. So this year, the other day, a
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: couple of days ago, when you set out the orange
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: napkins and the gather sign in that familiar golden shade,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: you weren't channeling the Pilgrims like we think we were.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: You weren't even channeling Autumn. You were actually dialed in
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: on the appliance aisle at Sears sometime around nineteen sixty nine,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: all right, creating cozy spaces in our homes. How is
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: it that two spaces using the same colors and largely
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: the same kinds of decor can have completely different end results.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: One can feel cozy and inviting, the other just feels off.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: How can that happen? Well, there's an interesting psychology behind
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: the idea and the concept of cozy, and we're going
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: to talk about all the different things you need to
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: know so that you can pull it off flawlessly. We're
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: going to get to all of that right after. This
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: home in progress is brought to you by Repolite Paints
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and Benjamin Moore. Think about it. You spend hours prepping, sandy, taping,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and then finally painting. Don't throw all that work away
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: with an inferior product. The paint isn't just another supply.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: The paint is the project. Make sure it's the best,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: all right. Right now, I want to talk about something
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: you've probably experienced one hundred times, but maybe maybe you
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: never understood it. Here's the deal. You walk into somebody's house,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: you know, during the holidays, and instantly you feel it,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: you know, the sense of oh my goodness, this is cozy,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: this is perfect, this is really nice. There's just something
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: about a space like that, you know, we know it
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: when we walk into one. My Grandma Hanson's house was
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: this way during the holidays. You just walk in and
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: everything about it makes you want to stay. You want
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: to sit there. You want to get a little cup
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: of tea, or you want her to give you seven
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: up like she used to do, and maybe a bowl
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: of the little chocolate covered Graham cracker cookies that the
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: elves make. Right, she always had those fresh kids. Anyway,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: you walk in and you just want to exist in
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: that space for a while, right, And then you walk
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: into another house. Maybe it's your own home, maybe it's
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: somebody else's, but maybe it's your own, and you've got
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: the same ingredients, right, because you're trying to do what
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: grandma did. It works so well at Grandma's house. So
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I buy all the same things and I put them
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: in my house, you know, the tree, the lights, the decorations,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: and yet it just feels wrong. You know, something about
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: it isn't right. It's cold, it's sterile, it doesn't live,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: it doesn't breathe. Whatever. It's a very well decorated room,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: but it just doesn't feel right. You know, something's going on,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: what's the difference. Well, of course it's not the money spent.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: It's not how many decorations are put out. It's definitely
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: not about blasting more twinkle lights all over the place.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: There's a psychology of koze, and you know, we talk
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: about the psychology of color, there's a psychology of coziness.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: And once you understand it, you're never going to look
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: at holiday decorating the same way. Again, this is really
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: good stuff. That's a big claim. You know, once I
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: get through this segment, I am going to change the
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: way you think about holiday decorating forever. That's big stuff,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: you know, that's big stuff. So let's see if I
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: can back it up. And I want to start by
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: clearing up a few big misconceptions right off the bat.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: First off, cozy isn't the same as decorated, all right,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Cozy and decorated not the same thing. Our room can
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: be packed with garland, it can be full of you know,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: the nutcracker things, those little bearded men that sit on
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: the shelves. It can be full up with santas, you know,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: strung all over with mistletoe and ornaments, and it can
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: still feel cold. So Cozy isn't the same as decorated.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Cozy isn't just warm colors. That's another misconception. You know,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I've been in rooms with red and gold everywhere that
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: still feels sterile and kind of cool, you know, just
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: they don't feel right. And I've been in rooms with
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: cool whites and grays that feel warm and inviting. Now,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: to be clear, the colors that we choose definitely can
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: play in to making a space or helping make a
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: space feel warm or cool, inviting or sterile. The colors
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: really can play into that. They can make it easier
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: or they can make it more difficult to get a
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: cozy space. You know, colors do help here, but just
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: putting warm colors on a wall doesn't mean you've achieved
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: your goal. That's what I'm trying to get at. It's
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: not just warm colors that make something cozy, all right.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Third misconception, Cozy isn't just soft things. You know, pillows, blankets,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: plush stockings, you know, all of those things they can help.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: But if everything else feels staged or stiff, softness alone
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: isn't going to save you. So if it's none of
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: those individual ingredients, what is this mystical cozy that we're
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: looking for. Well, it turns out both designers and environmental
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: psychologists there really is such a thing. Environmental psychologists and
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: designers have dug into this, and the science behind coziness
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: is really really specific, and it's really intuitive once you
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: hear it. So the first principle that I've got for you,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: get your notepads out. This is all gold. Everything that
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: is going to spew from my mouth from this point on,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: sheer holiday goodness and gold. You're going to want to
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: be writing it down or you're going to want to
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: find the podcast so you can revisit this in all
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: its glory, all right. The first principle that designers look
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: at is something called refuge and prospect, all right, the
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: instinctive human preference for spaces that feel sheltered but still
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: give us a good view of what's around us. You know, refuge,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: feeling sheltered, prospect being able to see what's around us.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: It's an ancient thing and it's hard coded in us.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: So put simply, cozy is a balance of being tucked
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: in but not boxed in. It's why people gravitate towards
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: corners in rooms, not because we're naughty and we got
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: to be put in the corner. Maybe we spent so
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: much time in the corner as a child being naughty
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: that maybe some people gravitate towards corners for that reason.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Liking back to the future where Uncle Joey, you know,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: spent so much time in his little playpen that he
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: never really wanted to be out of a playpen, so
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: when he got old, the only playpen he could find
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: was jail. You know, maybe that, but really, you know,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: whether we've spent tons of time in corners or in
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: playpens or whatever, we do, gravitate towards corners. We gravitate
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: towards breakfast nooks, towards fireplaces and kitchen gathering spots. It's
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: why nobody stands in the dead center of a giant
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: living room at a party. It's just weird. And we're
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: wired to seek protected zones, someplace where we've got you know,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: we know what's behind us, and we can keep an
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: eye out on what's in front of us. And we're
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: not thinking that as we're experiencing these spaces, but psychologically,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: deep down, that's what's going on. So during the holidays
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: this becomes even more important to think about, so you
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: can build it into what you put together in your space.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: You know, a massive, open concept great room can look
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: really impressive, right, but it rarely is going to feel cozy.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: There's just too much openness, too much of a good thing,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: too much vertical space, not enough psychological shelter. But break
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: that room into smaller retreat zones. You maybe pull a
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: chair up by the fireplace, or a couple of chairs
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: by a fireplace. You create a reading corner by a window.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: You set up a small table for puzzles or coco
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: or whatever. And you do that and suddenly the room
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: starts to feel welcoming again. And here's something fun. The
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Christmas tree itself could create a refuge zone. It defines
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: a corner, It gives people a reason to gather, and
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: it kind of anchors the room emotionally. So refuge in prospect.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Keep that in mind as you're putting your spaces together,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: especially if you're working in a great, big, open concept space.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: All right. Another aspect of coziness has to do with
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: ceiling height. In fact, ceiling height is one of the
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: most overlooked aspects. You know, high ceilings are beautiful, they're dramatic.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: They're impressive. You know, the shorter we are, the more
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: amazing they are. You know, we can't even see all
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: the way up into them sometimes. But they're not cozy, right,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: They're expansive, they're not intimate. And that's why lower levels,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: you know, despite their quirks, they often feel incredibly cozy
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: during the holidays because they've got lower ceilings. They're smaller rooms.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: There's just more psychological enclosure. Now, if you've got high
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: ceilings and you know that's just in your space, you
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: can't exactly lower them, not inexpensively anyway, not practically. But
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: here's what you can do. You can lower the perceived
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: ceiling height with decor With decorations, you know, when you
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: put garland along the top of your windows, you're creating
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: a horizontal line that breaks up the wall height a
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: little bit. That helps when you hang a wreath or
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you put up wall decorations or artwork or whatever, you're
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: bringing the visual weight down from the ceiling. The Christmas
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: tree itself helps with this, you know, it's a vertical
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: element that fills some of that empty airspace. If you're
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: looking for solutions with paint, if you've got the time
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: and energy to get this project wrapped up before Christmas.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: One of the easiest tricks to lower a ceiling is
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: to paint it the same color as your walls. You know.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Extending the wall color onto the ceiling blurs the line
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: of where the one stops and the other starts. It's
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: a really really easy trick that works really really well,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and it's not as bold as painting that ceiling you know,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: another color entirely, you know, so you're not really stepping
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: outside your comfort zone in a huge way in this regard,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: but you are achieving that a little more of a
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: cozy feel by bringing that ceiling down visually a little bit.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Victorian Holmes understood this concept really instinctively. You know. They
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: had picture rails, plate rails, wains coating, crown molding, you know,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: all these horizontal elements that broke up the wall height
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: and made the rooms feel more more human scale, more
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: people sized. You know, modern open concept homes with their
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: key huge soaring ceilings and their minimalistic trim architecturally, they're
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: working against coziness right from the start. However, if you
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: do have those spaces, you definitely can get creative and
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: can bring the skill down, you know, and bring it
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: back into the cozy zone by doing some of the
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: things that we talked about. All right, moving on, and
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: this is probably the single most important element of coziness
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: and it's one that most people get wrong. It's the lighting.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: So this is the third thing I want to talk about,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: the lighting, and specifically we want to focus on the
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: idea or the concept of layered lighting. Now, cozy spaces,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: they almost never have a single light source. They definitely
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: don't rely on overhead lighting. You know. Think about the
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: coziest room that you've ever been in, you know, at
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: any time, but during the holidays or whatever. I bet
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: if you can picture it, you know, if you can
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: picture this, maybe you've got problems, you know, because I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: can't picture what the lighting was like. But I bet
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: if you could go back in time and visit yourself
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: and see yourself in that cozy se you'd notice that
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: the overhead lights were off or dimmed or something like that,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: they weren't blasting you know. Instead, what you probably would
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: find rather than overhead lights, you'd find multiple light sources
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: at different heights and with different intensities. You know, the
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Christmas tree lights, the fireplace, maybe some candles on the
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: mantle table, lamp in the corner, another lamp on a
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: side table over here. Basically, everything is softer, more diffused,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: more varied when you light a room like that. This
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: is what lighting designers call light layering, and it's the
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: opposite of how a lot of people light their homes
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: day to day. You know, during the day, we want bright,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: even light, you know, unless the home's really messy. I
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: kind of like to keep things dim so I can't
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: see in the corners. But most people want bright even
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: lights so we can see clearly, we can work efficiently,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: we can walk through the space without tripping over things.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: You know, we use overhead lights or big bright lamps
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: to flatten everything out. But for coziness, if that's what
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: you're shooting for, you want the opposite. You want multiple
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: pools of softer light that create depth and shadow and
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: visual interest. You want your eye to kind of move
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: around the room and have different areas to discover sounds
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: kind of weird, but if you think it through, it
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: makes sense. And don't worry about the shadows that you're creating,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: because that's you know, instantly, what crops in my mind,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: what about the shadows. The shadows actually make the space
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: feel warmer and more intimate. You know, when everything is
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: evenly lit feels kind of clinical. Right when there are
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: gradations of light and dark, it's going to feel more cozy,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: all right. Another thing to think about cozy. The whole
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: idea of cozy engages multiple senses and touch is huge.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Even when you're not actively touching stuff. You know, when
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: we look around a room, our brain is constantly asking
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: what does that thing feel like? What is that going
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: to feel like? And you know I'm right. You may
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: not know I'm right initially, but think about it for
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: a second. Look around the room that you're in right now.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Somewhere in the back of your mind, you're instantly evaluating
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: every surf is it cold, is it warm? Is it soft?
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Is it rough? You know, most of the time those
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: thoughts sit below the surface, but once you notice them,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: you can't unnotice them. They're always there, And that little
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: mental reflex, that little mental activity that we go through
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: just naturally has a huge impact on whether a space
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: feels cozy or not. You know, in general, smooth, glossy materials, glass, metal, plastic,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: those things they're going to read as colder to our brains.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: All right, soft textured things will, velvet, linen, even natural
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: wood grain, all of those things are going to just
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: read as warmer. The brain's going to make that judgment
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: way before we reach out and touch anything, and when
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: we do touch them, our nervous system is going to
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: double down on the sense of warmth and comfort that
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: we were expecting to find. Now that doesn't mean that
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: you should get rid of all the brass bells and
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: glass ornaments that you've got, because hard, shiny materials absolutely
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: have a place cozy rooms need. Contrast, the trick is
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: making sure the harder, colder textures are balanced with enough soft,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: warm ones to give your eyes something comforting to land on.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: And that's why holiday decor leans so heavily on things
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: like knit stockings, quilted table runners, velvet ribbons, right, rough
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: wooden ornaments, felt wool cotton, all of those things. Those
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: materials don't just soften the room visually, they soften it emotionally.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe if that's what I'm trying to say. Basically, what
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I'm getting at is cozy isn't just a visual experience.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: It's something we touch and feel. Even when that touching
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: is happening only with our eyes. I know that's a
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: little bit weird, but if you think it through, I
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: think it makes sense. All right. Next up on our
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: checklist to achieving cozy spaces is this. Every truly cozy space,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: You know, every truly cozy holiday space has a smell,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: and I mean that in a good way. You know,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: pine needles, cinnamon cookies, a candle that smells like Christmas Eve,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you know, a wood fire, whatever your family's version is.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: You know, scent is incredibly powerful and we all know this,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: but it's incredibly powerful because it bypasses you know, logic,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: and it goes straight to memory and straight to emotion.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: And that's why we can walk into a house sometimes
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: and a particular smell will hit us and it instantly
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: transports us back to being, you know, seven years old
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: at Grandma's house or whatever. You've all had those experiences
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: where a smell has brought back incredible memories, you know,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: good memories, bad memories sometimes, but smells do that. They
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: have that power. So here's the key. Cozy rooms have
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: a gentle scent that feels warm, familiar, and inviting. All right,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: A gentle scent and that scent can come from anywhere,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: a real tree, a simmer pot, your oven, a really
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: good candle. You know. Real sense are great because they
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: change over time baking cookies. They smell different when the
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: cookies are raw, when they're baking, and when they're cooling,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: you know, and our brains pick up on that. You know,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: it's subtle, but our brains pick up on that. But
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: a well chosen candle that can do the job too.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Just be sure that if you do use artificial seen,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: go for the ones that smell warm and natural and
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: they're a little bit gentle, right, especially if you're having
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: large groups of people over go for the gentle sense
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: because not everybody has the same fortitude for smells as
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: other people. Yeah, the big goal here is avoiding sense
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: that feel harsh, overly perfume me or really chemically sharp,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: because those pull the brain out of that relaxed, cozy state.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: The big thing to keep in mind is that scent
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: is powerful when it comes to evoking emotions. You know,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: we know that, but keep that in the forefront of
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: your mind here. It shouldn't be an afterthought when you
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: put your room together. And I know for me it
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: completely is an afterthought, it is not front and center.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I'm too busy worried about all the decor, how things
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: will look. I'm not thinking about the smell. But it
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: really is as important as the decor. So think about
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: incorporating sense as you get the space ready for your
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: party or for just your own family's enjoyment. You know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: a real tree or real greens that's going to have
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: instant payoffs if that's something you can pull off. A
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: pot of spices simmering on the stuff I mentioned that
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: that can work really well. A pie that you baked earlier, Right,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: that was always a trick when you're showing a house
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: you baked on apple pie or something like that, because
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: it makes the house feel homey. Well, that's exactly what
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: we're talking about here. Lean into that, you know, even
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: opening a window to let in a little cold, crisp
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: air just for a few minutes, that can really really
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: play into the space and really create that cozy feel
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: that you're looking for. You know, the big thing here,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Remember that scents matter more than you probably think they do.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: All Right, next one, here's where I might lose some
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: of you. I understand that, but I'm going to say
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: it anyway. Truly cozy spaces are designed for people, not
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: for you know, photography, and there's a big difference between
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: those two goals. There's an American interior designer named Sister Parrish.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: We talked about her on the show a few months
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: ago or so. She decorated for some of the wealthiest
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: families in America, including the Kennedy White House. But one
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: of her core principles was creating spaces that felt lived in.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: You know. She'd mix all kinds of priceless antiques with
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: comfortable sofas that you could actually sit on. She'd put
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: beautiful fabrics in rooms where kids and dogs would be
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: running around her spaces. They were sophisticated, but they were
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: also practical for daily life. She was blending formal elements
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: with casual comfort and casual items. And that's the big
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: takeaway here. You can have a beautiful space that's also functional,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: you know, it's also people friendly. In fact, the most
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: beautiful spaces are the ones that invite people in and
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: invite you to use them, not the ones that make
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: you afraid to touch anything. You know, we've all been
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: in spaces where we feel afraid to touch anything, and
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: it's not a place where you feel comfortable. It's not cozy,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: even though it may look amazing, it's not cozy. It's
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: not inviting. So during the holidays, this might mean crafting
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: a space that looks like people actually live there and
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: are actually you know, celebrating, not like a decorator came
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: through for a photo shoot. You know, so books stacked
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: on a coffee table as if somebody was just looking
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: through them, that's a good thing. A blanket that's actually
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: been used, not just artfully draped somewhere. Christmas cards, you know,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: displayed in a haphazard way rather than a perfect line.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: These aren't flaws. These are signs of life, and that's good.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: The best holiday decorating has intentionality, right, but it's also got,
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of an organic chaos. The tree, for example,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I'm really bad about this, but the tree. It's okay
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: if some of the ornaments are beautiful and perfect and
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: in line with a theme. And it's okay if other
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: ones are a little bit ugly, ugly but meaningful, you know,
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: things the kids made, things that I hide because I
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: don't want them messing up my perfect, perfect tree that
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to create. I'm probably doing that the wrong way, right,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: lean into some of that stuff that's got inherent, you know,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: emotional value to us. It's okay to have those things
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: that aren't perfect. The mantle can have both expensive candlesticks
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: and the stockings you know that aren't the nicest stockings anymore,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: but that's what you've used for years and years and
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: years with the kids. There's nostalgia to that, and while
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: it may not look perfect, it's going to be utterly
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: cozy and utterly inviting. When spaces are too perfect two stage,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: too matchy matchy, they stop feeling like spaces where people
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: actually live, and they start to feel like museum exhibits
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: or magazine spreads and museums. No matter how beautiful they are,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: they're not cozy. Magazines aren't cozy, you know. I think
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: sometimes we get so caught up in making things look good.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: And believe me, I already said it, I get it,
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I do it. But we get so caught up in
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: that that we forget to make things feel good. We
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: create spaces that look perfect, but that nobody feels comfortable using.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: And really, at the bottom line, what's the point of that,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Especially during the holidays, the whole purpose of decorating is
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: to create an environment where people want to gather and
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: stay and be together. So if your decorations make people
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: nervous about sitting down or touching things, you're actually working
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: against your own goal there less, unless your goal is
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: to make sure people don't touch a lot of your stuff.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: You know, you know your family, Maybe that is the
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: smarter play for you, but it's not going to be cozy,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: but at least your stuff's going to be good. Anyway,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Take that one for what it's worth and figure out
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: how it fits with you now, right. One last element
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: that I'll mention is sound. And I'm not talking about
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: just the question in your head of should I play
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: Christmas music or not? I mean the whole sound environment,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: you know, the ambiance of the room. Because sound really
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: can work for your cozy vibe, but it can actually
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: also work against it. So think about fancy restaurants for
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: a second. They put an unbelievable amount of effort and
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: research into getting the sound right. You know, the music
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: isn't too loud, it's never too close, and it fills
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: the space without drowning out conversation. Always aware of it,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: you just feel comfortable it feels right in that zone.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: And we've all been in restaurants where the sound is
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: off and it pulls us out of the conversation, or
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: we're shouting across the table or feel like we have
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: to shout across the table. We definitely don't feel comfortable
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: in those spaces. So remember that good sound creates a
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: sense of warmth and hospitality in a place like that,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: and the same is true at home. So what does
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: cozy sound sound like? While cozy sound is soft, it's
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be warm, it's gonna be low pressure. It's not
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: gonna be silence, because silence can actually feel a little
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: bit eerie, right, Silence is a little eerie. But it's
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: also not gonna be noise blasting at you, you know,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: obviously obviously not rocket science here. A cozy room is
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: going to have a gentle backdrop, right, So fire crackling,
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: maybe a kettle warming, quiet, instrumental music drifting in from
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: the next room, distant laughter, the subtle hum of the
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: house just kind of doing its thing. All of that
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: is good. All of those things are going to tell
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: your brain that the space is alive, it's safe, it's steady,
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: vice All of those things what's going to kill a
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: cozy vibe when it comes to sound, Well, TV noise
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: is brutal on the cozy vibe. Loud music is brutal.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Phone notifications, beeping appliances, you know, the microwave that nags
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: at you. It just keeps beeping until you open the door,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: you know, periodically, anything sharp, digital or repetitive. Those things
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: pull you out of the moment. You know, they grab
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: your attention instead of supporting the atmosphere. A Christmas movie
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: running loudly in the background. You know a lot of
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: people I've been there, it feels cozy to have a
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Christmas movie just playing on the tube. Or they're not
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: really tubes anymore, are they just playing on the television.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: But it really can take away from that cozy atmosphere
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: because the noise, the sound level of it can just
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: take over the space. Phone notifications they're instant mood killers, right.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: We're constantly attached to these phones and constantly pulling us
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: out with their little notifications, pulling us out of whatever
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: we're engaged in at the time, whether it's a conversation
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: or anything. I mean, phones, it's a major social social
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: thing to think about anyway. But in an event, at
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: a party or something like that where you're trying to
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: create a cozy vibe. Those dinghy notifications they nag at us,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: they pull us out of that vibe. So what can
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: you do? Well, you've got to work with the things
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: that you can control. You know, you can't control I
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: mentioned that, you know, laughing. You know, the sound of
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: laughing conversation is something that really adds to the vibe.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: You can't control that. You can try, but that's not
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: going to make for a very cozy, authentic party when
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: you cue people when they're supposed to come in with
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: a nice guffa or you know, a chuckle. So you
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: can't control certain things, but you've got to focus on
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: the things you can control. So turn off the things
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: that are fighting you. Shut down that TV, you know,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: if you can, you know, unless you're actively watching it,
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: you know, turn off the TV, silence the if you
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: can get people to do that. If you can mute
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: the microwave beeps, go for it. Reduce anything that feels sharper,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: electronic add soft sound intentionally. You know, if you've got
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: a real fireplace, great lean into that. If not electric fireplaces,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: fire sound apps, or even a small tabletop fountain. All
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: of those things can create general background noise. Christmas music
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: that works wonderfully if it's instrumental and in another room.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I know that sounds a little weird, but when the
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: music comes from a nearby speaker, your brain feels like
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: it needs attention. If there's vocals on it or lyrics
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: on it, our brains naturally focus on the words. If
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: the music's kind of coming from another room or very
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: quietly from speakers, you know, strategically positioned in the room
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: that you're in. If it's instrumental, you know, it just
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: kind of fills in the gaps. It kind of just
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: makes up that background like we talked about at the restaurants.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just that great setting, that great ambiance
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: from that music. Just make sure that it's not overpowering
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: the space. One last thing I'll say here is you
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: can create your own soundscape if you want. You know,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I've got a free app on my phone where I
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: can mix fire, crackling wind, a little snowstorm, whatever I want.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: It's for sleeping, you know, it's to create noise so
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: I don't wake up with every little sound in the
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: house because I wake up at every sound, So I've
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: got to have some other kind of white noise kind
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: of thing that drowns it out. Well. I drowns it
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: out well. I found this app and there's a million
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: of them out there. But I can mix all these
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: layers of sounds. I can get oh, you know, snow
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: blowing in on a Danish whatever. I mean, it's sound
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: that's been captured all over the world. I don't even
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: know how real that part is, but that's what they're
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: telling me. But I can take all these pieces and
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I can control how loud each one is, and I
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: can create something that's got a fire, crackling wind blowing
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: outside whatever. All of that can really work to create
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: this cozy ambiance that you're shooting for. Just make sure
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: it's not playing too loud through your speakers. Look into
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: those kinds of things. The big way here is don't
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: forget about sound. Cozy isn't just what you see. It's
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: what you hear and what you don't hear. A few soft,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: warm sounds support the atmosphere. Sharp loud, attention grabbing sounds
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: tear it down. You know, sounds invisible, but we feel
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: it immediately and it plays on you know our anxiety
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: or it comforts us. Sound has that power, so use
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: it intentionally and your whole space changes. All right, So
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: what does all of this mean practically, Well, if you've
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: decorated your house for the holidays already, or maybe you're
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: going to do that today, and whenever you do that,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: if you notice that it's not feeling cozy yet, you know,
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: as cozy as you want. Here are some things to
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: think about and try. First off, look at your lighting.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Are the overhead lights on? Turn them off if you
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: can dim them. If you've got to have them on.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: Can you add other light sources, table lamps, you know,
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: the lights from the tree, candles, something like that. Do
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: what you can to create those pools of softer light.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: That's gonna help a lot. Second, create refuge zones right
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: within your larger spaces. Pull some chairs closer together near
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: the tree. Set up a small table in a corner
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: with some books in a lamp to find smaller areas
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: within the bigger room for people to gather at. Third,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: add texture, you know, get some throats, some pillows with
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: different fabric textures, maybe a wool rug. Give the eyeSoft
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: tactile things to rest on. Right, create that warmth with
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: the texture that you bring in. Fourth, think about scent.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: What is your house smell like. If the answer is
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: nothing or fabrize or the dogs, consider adding some better smells,
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: you know, real greenery, a simmer pot, baking something, you know,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: bring in a nice candle that's gentle. You don't want
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: those overly perfumed smells, So think about smells. Fifth, think
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: about sounds. Don't forget about sounds, and remember it works
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: both ways here. A little bit of sound is great.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Too much sound can really detract, So find that and
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: turn off some of those things that you don't need
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: and kind of bring in some of the other ones
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: that will help you out. Finally, and this one's maybe
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: the hardest one. Let it be a little bit imperfect.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: That's okay, it's okay. If the blankets rumpled, it's okay.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: If the books are stacked up kind of off kilter.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: Let the space show signs of actually being used and
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: lived in. That's really welcoming to people. All right, that's
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: gonna do it for this episode of Home in Progress.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: If you like what you heard, consider subscribing to the show.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: That's really great. Leave us review that helps us out.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: A ton. It helps other people find the show, and
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: you know, honestly share the show with a friend. We
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: can go old school here, just share it. That would
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: be really great. Let other people find the show and
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: find out if they like it or not. You know,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: maybe it's the greatest gift you will give somebody this year.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: It's just an awareness of this show. Who knows. Maybe not,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: but it could be. All right, have a great week, everybody.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: For Home in Progress. I'm Dan Hansen. Thanks for listening
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: to