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I Choose… Open Nest over Empty Nest with Candace Cameron Bure · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the choices we make, and today I'm joined by actress
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and producer Candace Cameron Beret. It's a very exciting time
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: in the Beret family as they've recently had a gorgeous
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: wedding and we all got to have a sneak peek
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: of it. Candace is stepping into some exciting new projects,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: including some with her grown children. In our conversation, we
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: get into it all choices we make raising our kids,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: what it takes to keep a marriage strong through life's
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: ups and downs, and how she's preparing for her next
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: chapter with strength and purpose. Let's jump in with Candace
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Cameron Beret. Hi, I am excited to talk to you
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: so well. You just watched your daughter Natasha get married. Yes,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I know how filled with joy and pride you must
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: have been when that was happening. What were you like
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: thinking when you're sitting there watching this happen.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, it was such a beautiful day. It was
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: everything that they hoped it would be. It's a bit
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: surreal when your kids get married and it's so emotional
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: you know. But there were so many activities that led
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: up to the event. There was the bridal shower, the
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: bachelorette weekend, and so all of those markers, and then
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: a lot of dinners in between with his family, our family,
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  Speaker 2: all kinds of things, and so a lot of words
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: and tears and laughs are said and shed before the
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: day of the event. So when you get to the
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: actual day of the ceremony, it was just it was beautiful,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: and of course I cried, but I feel like I
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: got like the real ugly tears out before the wedding.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Oh good good, Yeah, I haven't done it yet, so
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: that's why I'm asking, like, get the tears, like advice,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: get the tears out before the wedding.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was. It was neat because Natasha
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  Speaker 2: Bradley did their first look before the wedding, and like
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: my son didn't do that. The first time that they
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: saw each other was when she walked down the aisle
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: that day and I was there for the moment of
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: their first look and that's when I lost it and
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  Speaker 2: I just I was a total mess because they were
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  Speaker 2: just so sweet. It was private. I was like spying
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: in the bushes watching.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: It that's what we have to do sometimes as moms.
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  Speaker 2: And I was just like and then you know, so
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: then the ceremony was just like fun and beautiful and great.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. I look forward to that
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  Speaker 1: also sort of dreaded. I don't know, there's something about
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: like giving your daughters over to a guy and just
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: fingers crossed, you know, like good luck.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: I know it does feel different to marry have your
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: son married versus your daughter, and yeah, it's it is different.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: But the good thing is I have two great children
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: in laws. I love our daughter in law so much,
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  Speaker 2: and we're so close, and love Bradley so much. He's
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: a wonderful man.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: And your family's expanding before I.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Know, so it's great. I feel like, you know, we
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: won the lottery with our children's spouses.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: You and I were both really young brides, like I was.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I think I might have been a year or two
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  Speaker 1: a year older than you because you got married at twenty.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: That is early, I know, but for a lot of people,
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  Speaker 1: especially nowadays, did you ever feel like the urge to
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: sort of persuade your daughter to consider waiting a little
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  Speaker 1: longer than you did?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? No, not at all. I mean we loved that
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  Speaker 2: we got married young, and I think that that that's
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: like very I guess normal. Even my parents were married
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  Speaker 2: very young. My mom was nineteen to my dad. My
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: brother was married young. I think he was twenty or
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  Speaker 2: twenty one. So that doesn't scare me and doesn't scare
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: me with our kids at this age either. And so
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  Speaker 2: even at twenty seven, I was like Natasha, come on, like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: it's a little a little late.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know I have a twenty eight
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  Speaker 1: year old, and I'm like, well, what's gonna happen? She
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  Speaker 1: doesn't know yet either, so it's kind of like a
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  Speaker 1: waiting game. But whatever is meant to be will happen, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: for sure, and it will all be great, yes, But
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  Speaker 1: I'm so happy for your expanding family. You know something,
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  Speaker 1: I think you know you are so great about being
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  Speaker 1: in touch with your community that you've built on your platforms.
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  Speaker 1: And I know, as somebody who is in a similar
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  Speaker 1: situation to you, that there are so many positive things,
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  Speaker 1: but there's something in me that will zero in on
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  Speaker 1: the negative ones, like accidentally quote yeah, stumble upon the
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  Speaker 1: one that's really nasty, or just like mean, you know,
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  Speaker 1: how talk to me about how you have handled that
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  Speaker 1: when you see someone commenting, commenting somebody something on your
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  Speaker 1: page that's totally out of nowhere.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, which I get all the time if like all
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  Speaker 2: of us do in the public eye, you're always getting
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  Speaker 2: you're getting trolls on there. But it's the one it's
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  Speaker 2: the ones for me that I have a harder time
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  Speaker 2: with when when I feel that they are genuinely well meaning,
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  Speaker 2: that they really think what they're telling you is contributing
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  Speaker 2: something positive or pointing out something that maybe you didn't know,
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  Speaker 2: or you genuinely hurt their feelings because you don't understand
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: their perspective. Those are harder to not respond to. And
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  Speaker 2: it does it when it affects when people misunderstand your
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: character and you're like, well that's I didn't mean it
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  Speaker 2: that way, or well you don't know the whole picture.
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  Speaker 2: You're seeing a snippet. You know. Most of the times
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  Speaker 2: I just don't respond. Most of the times I just
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  Speaker 2: let them go. And I'm not afraid to use my
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  Speaker 2: block button when people are really mean and nasty. Why
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: you don't need that nobody wants to even read that
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  Speaker 2: in the comment, you know, so happy to use that
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  Speaker 2: block button and Every once in a while there will
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: be a comment where I will engage and say, well,
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  Speaker 2: you know what, here's why I did that, or here's
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: why I said that, or maybe you could be more
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  Speaker 2: thoughtful in sharing this information. Maybe you could privately say
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  Speaker 2: it and not comment this publicly if you're really concerned
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  Speaker 2: about me in some way, you know, and there are
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: nice ways to still say it. When I do respond back,
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  Speaker 2: it's always in a positive way, because you know, I
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  Speaker 2: don't think you're going to change anyone's mind by just
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: being mean back to them. If you have the same
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  Speaker 2: attitude that they have towards you, then it just turns
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  Speaker 2: into this fight. And I'm not having an online fight
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  Speaker 2: with someone. No.
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  Speaker 1: I have to remind myself in the heat of my
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: moment of wanting to be like, hey, why be so nasty,
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  Speaker 1: Like what's your problem? I have to remind myself. Did
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: you ever watch show Catfish?
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  Speaker 2: I've seen it.
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  Speaker 1: So they find people that are catfishing other people, and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: they go find where they're living. And I watch that
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  Speaker 1: show a lot with my kids, and there's a back
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  Speaker 1: house that has no windows and that's where they live.
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  Speaker 1: And I always think that the person with those nasty comments.
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  Speaker 1: I have to remind myself of their experience in life
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  Speaker 1: and just like give them a little grace. Yeah, move on.
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  Speaker 2: Yep, Yeah, I say this all the time, and it's
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  Speaker 2: that phrase. You hurt people, hurt people, hurting people hurt people,
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  Speaker 2: And that's usually what it is. People get defensive, they're mean,
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  Speaker 2: they're nasty, but they're having they're struggling to they're struggling themselves,
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  Speaker 2: and so's the that's the best thing you could do
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  Speaker 2: is give them grace or just ignore it and move on.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, so you started acting when you were eleven
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  Speaker 1: five five?
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  Speaker 2: Oh, commercials, commercials, Yes, if you do a bunch when
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  Speaker 2: you were young.
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  Speaker 1: No, I've never done a commercial, I can recall.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did commercials from five years old until ten
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  Speaker 2: once I booked full house and then and.
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  Speaker 1: Then you grew up in front of the world. Yes, exactly,
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  Speaker 1: and you're still growing up in front of the world.
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  Speaker 1: Isn't that wild? I know, it is, like, that's not normal,
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  Speaker 1: you know, it's such a weird experience. I was a
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  Speaker 1: little bit older than you. I was already like seventeen
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  Speaker 1: when I started, okay, but not that I had any
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  Speaker 1: more you know, understanding of who I was in the world,
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  Speaker 1: or you know, I didn't never felt you know that,
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  Speaker 1: I started later because I wanted to have a more
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  Speaker 1: secure life beginning. It's just the way it rolled out, right.
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  Speaker 1: Did you feel like did you ever feel like you
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  Speaker 1: were more apt to become a people pleaser of the
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  Speaker 1: environment that we were put in and the pressures that
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  Speaker 1: were put on us because we had to do what
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  Speaker 1: we were told and we wanted the approval of our
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  Speaker 1: directors and our castmates and the fans. Did you ever
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  Speaker 1: fall into that pattern of like, I'm just doing things
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  Speaker 1: to please everybody else?
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  Speaker 2: Oh, totally. I'm still a people pleaser to this day.
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  Speaker 2: I just know it and I recognize it, so then
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  Speaker 2: I can make better decisions that aren't based on people pleasing.
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  Speaker 2: But I'm a people pleaser at the core. Oh my goodness.
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  Speaker 2: At one point I was talking to a friend. We
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: were talking about our people pleasing because he's the same way,
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  Speaker 2: and he was like, but do you realize that's actually
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  Speaker 2: not a healthy thing? And I'm like, but I really
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  Speaker 2: like making people happy, Like it makes me happy to
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  Speaker 2: make people happy, and I really do like all of this.
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  Speaker 2: And we just got into this huge conversation that I
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  Speaker 2: was like.
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  Speaker 1: Well, where did you settle on it?
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  Speaker 2: Then well, I walked away going really like it's a
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  Speaker 2: bad thing. It is a bad thing, and it and
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  Speaker 2: then it genuinely got me thinking and as I thought
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  Speaker 2: about it a whole lot more and then recognized where
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: where the line where the difference was of really you know,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: you can quote unquote say people pleasing, but as a
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  Speaker 2: person that genuinely wants to encourage or be helpful, to
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  Speaker 2: have a servants heart, like those are all good things
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  Speaker 2: and qualities, but to just say yes, do what you're told,
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  Speaker 2: just so that you make the other people happy, regardless
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  Speaker 2: of the the effort, the energy, the tiredness, the struggle
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  Speaker 2: that you're going through. If it's all about them, then
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, got it that. Then there's then I
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: need to implement some healthy boundaries there have you have.
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  Speaker 1: You recently been able to like recognize that and then
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: feel comfortable in those boundaries. This is something like relatively
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: like in your forties that you've discovered or did it
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: happen sooner for you?
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  Speaker 2: Probably sooner, But I'd say like in the last ten
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: years that I really understood how much of a people
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  Speaker 2: pleaser I am and then have certainly implemented boundaries that
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: have become much easier over the years. I have no
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  Speaker 2: problem saying no.
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  Speaker 1: Good yeah that some people have a problem with that.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, but hopefully, you know, those of
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: us that are talking about it and encouraging people to
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: like create those healthy boundaries, Hopefully it's getting you know,
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  Speaker 1: it's getting more acceptable because a lot of people think
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: boundaries are selfish or.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, self serving. They're really healthy and they're good.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: But I'll still tell you that I love hearing well done, Candice,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: great job. Like after I've done a show or done
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: my podcast or you know, film something, I'm always like,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: how was it? How was I want the words of affirmation,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, was it good? Did I do a good job? Okay? Great? Great?
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: M I can relate because who doesn't want to feel
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: that yeah from somebody that you work with. You know,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I'm always one to say, great job, whatever the task was,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. But I get what you're saying. Fully,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: was there a point Has there been a point in
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: your life when you started to sort of tune in
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: to your life as a whole. Because you're coming up
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: on the fifty club, You're not there yet.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: No next year, I'm doing it.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Yes you are, I'll give you early welcome. But like
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: at fifty, things start to shift, I think, and mentally
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: we start to look at things a little bit differently.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Was there a point where you're like, I now recognize
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: the sort of maybe not so positive aspects that being
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: a child star had on me as Candace.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, there certainly there are some things that I
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: could go back and say, oh this because I was
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: in the industry. This definitely shaped and molded this viewpoint
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: or how I felt about myself. Like on my podcast
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: this season, we are talking all about body image, and
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: we are going through sixteen weeks of a whole body
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: theology and framing it from the reference of your body,
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: your physical body, your mental and your heart and your
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: soul and how the three interconnect. But so much of
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: my viewpoint as a woman today was shaped how I
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: was younger, and a lot of that was because I
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: was on television. And so there's definitely things that have
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: affected me over the years that I, you know, recognize,
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: But I'll tell you that honestly, still wouldn't change any
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: of it. Like it's why I'm still in entertainment. Today
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: and do what I do because I love I love
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: where I'm at, where I'm at today, I love all
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: the things that I get to do. I love the
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: entertainment industry at its core because I like, I'm a storyteller.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I like to do those kinds of things. So I
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: still wouldn't take any of it away. But do I
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: recognize that some things weren't the same as my other
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: friends at the time?
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Of course, Yeah, for sure.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Body image is a big part of it too. For me.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: One of the areas where I'm like, h wow, Okay,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I didn't really recognize that until now. Yeah, now that
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I do, let's work on cleaning that up, you know.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's all you can do. The good thing
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: is to recognize it and then be willing to put
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: in the work to help kind of rewire your brain.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: What do you do when you put in the work, Like,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: how do you stay connected to yourself when you're busy
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: like you are and you're doing you know, movies back
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: to back and appearances and all the things, and everybody's
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: taken some pieces of you and time from you, and
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, you're like, Okay, what's left
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: for me? To take care of myself, Like, how do
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: you connect back to that core?
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I mean, my my biggest connection for me, which is
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: the start of my day is my is my time
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: with God. It is prayer and worship and just staying
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: grounded in God's word and remind myself of who I
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: am in terms of who God tells me and sees me,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: you know, He created me, and reminding myself of all
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: of those attributes and not what the world says that
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I am or who say that I am, but who
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: God says that I am. And then and that helps
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: so much. And then at the end of the day, honestly,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: my my place is just at home. I just want
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: to be with my husband and that he just helps
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: me disconnect and you know, we can sit and not
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: do anything and.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Just oh that's the best, get on the couch.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: And veg and and that's how I kind of get
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: filled back up.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, Just quiet a time at home with
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: my loved ones. Yeah, and we don't have to be
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: doing anything, yeah exactly, just that shared space that's safe
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: where you can actually unplug and do nothing and that's okay. Yeah,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: like you all kind of want it and need it
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: when you're in your little house. What you talked about
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: your husband. How is it now that you have an
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: empty nest fully?
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't, though my youngest is still at home.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, me one still at home too. Yeah, so I
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: want to be an empty nester like we do. Part
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: of me thinks I should experience that like i've, like you,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: got married very early, started having kids really early, gave
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: my life up to raising the girls and working and
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: keeping all juggling all the things. And there's part of
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: me that's like, wow, other people are getting to be
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: empty nesters, and like, I wonder what that's like, because
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I don't have it fully and you don't either.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I've had it. I've had it fully have because they
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: and then they've come back and back. You know that
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: happens a lot and so and so. Currently I'm not
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: an empty master, but it's it's weird, man, when they're
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: all gone, the house is so quiet and it feels lonely.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Maybe if you have a pet. Do you have any
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: dogs or cats? Okay, that at least helps, yes, But
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: when all three of mine were gone, then my dog died.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: It was beautiful dog. He was so beautiful he.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Was and it was, but it was like so sad
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: to be at home. I'm just like, what, why? Why
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: is it so empty in here? You do you as
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: much as sometimes the hustle and bustle are the noise
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: and the music and the fridge opening and closing. I mean,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: I have two boys and a daughter, but you know,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: the fridge just never stops opening and closing. With boys
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: and you you just miss all of those sounds, you know.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: And so I'm actually now that because I have experience
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: being an empty master. I love that Max is still
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: at home with us right now, and I'm kind of
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: at a moment of it.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, you can just live here forever.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: It's fine. You do a lot. You do a lot
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: of exercising and fitness, and I know that's really important
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to you. What happens does Candice? Can remember have her
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: ball off the wagon when it comes to exercise?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Oh well, yes, yes? And no. I saw that you
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: recently had Cameron Mathison on.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Who played our love interests.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I know you've had him for several movies too, And
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: then we finally worked together last year and I was like, Cameron,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: where have you been all my life? Like, because I've
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: known him for so long, but we never worked together
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: in a film, and anyway, we were just He's just
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: so easy to work with, so I've loved it. But anyway,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: he's a fitness enthusiast and now has started his own
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: company in that way. But even connecting with him last
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: year helped me boost my fitness game even more, which
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I love. That's why I brought him up. But I
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: definitely I've been pretty consistent for twenty years, really enjoying
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: fitness and working out. But when I am working, when
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: I'm filming a movie, I don't put the expectation on
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: myself that I can maintain my fitness regimen the way
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: I can when I'm not working, So fall off the wagon.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, because it's intentional. I just know that
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I can't keep my energy up on a fifteen sixteen
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: hour day, five days a week and get a full,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: heavyweighted workout in. So you know, I just know that, Hey,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: for three weeks, four weeks, I'm going to do some
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: very light things. I'll work out on the weekend and
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: I pick it right back up once it's finished.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel you because you have to kind of
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: prioritize and yourself and your own energy and your own
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: like can't. I gotta get through this the best I
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: can and then I'll come back to that. Yeah, I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: do that too. It's kind of like compartmentalizing it in
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: a way, but I feel like I try. It's very
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: challenging when you're working a lot and traveling a lot. Yeah,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, but I love it.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm. I have series goals, which is why I
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: upped my fitness game in the last year.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Goals, what are they?
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I because I really want to enter my fifties at
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: like peak shape, peak shape for me, and that truly
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: is my birthday gift to myself. So at forty eight,
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm starting this. I'm gonna just do what
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I haven't done yet so that I can create different results.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: And I want to enter I want to enter the
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: fifties feeling the best that I can feel, and hopefully
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: enter menopause or perimenopause. I don't really have any symptoms
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: of perimenopause yet, no, but I want to enter that
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: in the best physical shape so I have the best
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: experience I can possibly have. Because I hear all the stories,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I know how awful it can be, and I'm like,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: I want to do whatever I can, so I don't
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: have that.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: It's not awful, it's you know, it's just something new
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: to deal with. So I think it's kind of a universal,
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: very relatable space that you're talking about. Yeah, yes, I
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: know that. You are talking also on your podcast about
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: aging m I saw recently you were talking about your neck,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: that whole situation with yes, picking up girl.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: I feel like my neck is pretty fine. Your neck looks,
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: which reds why I was surprised it got called out.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Your neck looks great a turtle neck on, but like,
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I don't wear them often. I'm not trying to hide
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: my neck.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I think, oh, I wear them to hide things, trust me.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: But I feel like it's kind of similar to when
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I was younger. I had an actor tell me, you know,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: you can really tell the age of a woman by
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: her elbows, and I was like, this is me and
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: my twenties.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Did you say your wenus is showing no?
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: No, but he did. He made me think about something
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I had never thought about, and then yeah, that's annoying internalized, like,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: oh my god, another thing for me to have to
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: feel bad about myself as I get older my elbows,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I would think weird.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: I know who would say that that's weird.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: It's weird, but it's stuck with me. So I can
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: imagine feeling that same way anytime. I think, when you're vulnerable,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: you put yourself out there on screen in these roles,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: you know, and in I've not always been that fond
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: of watching my work, so when I do watch it,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I'm my own worst critic. But then to have somebody
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: else over my shoulder giving me their commentary of what's
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: not great about me, then I'm just like next level.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's a strange business that we're in
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: and that way that people are allowed to scrutinize you,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: even when it's coming from a good place. Because sometimes
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: like in my case, like the which was the whole
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: neck thing we were doing. We were doing like digital
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: effects to make me look younger. I was supposed to
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: look like I was thirty years old, and so that's
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: why it got pointed out the places they were going
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: to concentrate to make me look younger. So it wasn't
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: even it wasn't mean spirited in any way.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: It was kind of like factual, Like it was factual. Yeah,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: we need to deal with it on your neck.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: And your crow's feet and your foreheadlines. It was like cool,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: but now I'm going to think about them all the time.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, it's it's a tricky thing
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: aging in the public eye and like staying really grounded
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: in your love for yourself and like you your ability
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: to sort of shut out all the other voices.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I I just I think the pressure
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: is the worst part for me. And it's pressure from
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: other actors and not that they're actually putting pressure on us,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: but you're just looking at, well, who's in my age range?
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: What do they look like? I mean, you look at
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: j Lo who's fifty what and you're like, she's gorgeous,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: she's stunning, she's so beautiful. And then you're like looking
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: at your own wrinkles and and so there's there's this
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: beauty standard when you look at some people, even though
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: they're not talking about it. No, they're not telling you
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: you need to do it, but you're just looking at
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: everyone going, wow, I'm younger than them, but I look
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: older than them, and you recognize, well, they probably had
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: stuff done. Well should I do that? And if I
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: do do something, how far is too far? What am
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I comfortable with? What's gonna you know? And then it
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: just it just spirals and it's all At least for me,
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I just think about it way more than I want to,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: because if I was not an actor or in the business,
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: like my mom's never had anything done to her face. Never,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: She's seventy five and she's beautiful, and I'm like, I
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: want to age like my mom, And I don't think
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: if I were in front of the camera, I wouldn't
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: even think about doing things to my face. But it's
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: like the pressure feels like it's there. And then it's
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: my choice to say, well, I'm am I going to
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: allow that to dictate my choices what I see in
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: other people? Or am I going to age the way
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: that I truly desire in my heart and whatever that
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: way it is? And for me, I want to age naturally.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: But never say never. Man, I just don't know how
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna feel, and one year and five years and
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: twenty years, I don't.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: And that's your choice, That's exactly. It's every woman should
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: get to do whatever she wants to do with her
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: body or face everything. So I feel you on that,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: and it's definitely, Like the pressure is not so much
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: from outside, it's from inside. For me, like it's it
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: turns into like an inner criticism or just awareness. Yeah,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: and then that can just kind of, like you know,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: spiral around. Yeah, I know, I take you to unhealthy places.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: That that again is why I stay grounded in God's
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: word and who what does God say about me? And
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: not my own spiraling thoughts.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Because you can't trust those sometimes exactly. Your kids all
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: seem very happy and very well adjusted, and I from
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: what I can tell, they've had a wonderful upbringing, like
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: any any family that has such glowing things to say
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: about their mom and dad. I just noticed that they
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: all speak so highly of you and your husband.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: How I mean, did you and your husband from the
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: get go have very similar styles in how you wanted
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: to parent your kids or was that something you had
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: to kind of find Is it something you have to
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: revisit occasionally?
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, certainly, certainly revisit occasionally. But I would say we
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: definitely had similar styles. I mean, we were both My
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: husband's not an actor, but he was a professional athlete,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: and so in the same way, just like I started
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: working at five, he started working at four, you know,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: because he was just on the ice and skating every day.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: And so we are very disciplined people and within our
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: and structured people, and so that was something that translated
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: automatically into our parenting is how as to how we
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: wanted to do that, But we definitely had to find
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: our rhythm over the years with specific things and how
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: we chose to interact with each other and with our kids.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: When we disagreed on something that was either at the
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: same time we disagreed or maybe you know, your child
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: is asking mom something, you give an answer, they don't
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: like it. They automatically go to dad to see if
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: they're going to get a different answer, and if they do,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: then you're you end up being mad at your you know,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: your husband goes why I already told them no and
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: you just said yes, and well I didn't know that,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: and then you end up fighting, and I'm like, dude,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: this is the whole this is the kid's fault.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: That's what they want.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: They got us fighting. So it's like you get put
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: in that situation enough times that you you you you know,
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: realize it and the little bell goes off. So before
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: you even start, we val and I would establish ground
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: rules Okay, here's what happens, so that they cannot manipulate us,
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: and we would have all these discussions all the time,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: and I think you know, in that case, we would say, Okay,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: if if one of the kids comes up and asks
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: can I have this cookie? The first thing that either
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: one of us says is did you already ask your mom?
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Or did you already ask your dad? And they got
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: as good for it, And so we did stuff like that,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: and so you have to keep working out the kinks,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: and of course it just gets exacerbated when they are
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: teenagers and gets.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish they were still asking if they could
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: have a cookie?
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: No, No, But we were pretty pretty in sync with guaranteeing,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: and yeah, I'm grateful for that. And we do have
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: a really wonderful close relationship with all of our kids.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: That's really good. And I know, like when the kids
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: get older and the dynamics change in the household a
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: little bit, maybe one maybe me, maybe you, maybe them,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know, are struggling with this transitional time where
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: your kids are leaving and you're you know, kind of like, WHOA,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: what's next? How do I handle these feelings? Marriages can
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: be really hard, especially during those times, and I would
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: just like be curious to know from you how do
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: you handle the tough times like that with your partner,
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Like how do you get how do you get through?
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Because you've been married for how many years? You told me,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: but I can't remember twenty nine? Twenty nine years? That's
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: like an eternity. That's incredible, I know, I know what
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: an accomplishment.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I really am proud of it. So is Val.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: And you know, just like most marriages, we hit some
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: serious speed bumps and had a couple couple of times
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: in our lives where we're like, mmmmm, I don't know
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: if we're gonna make it through this one. Yeah, I'm
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: not sure. So I'm very familiar with that. But I
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: will tell you that sometimes when you do see the
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: best marriages, meaning strong marriages, at a certain point in time,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: it's because you've been through it all and you've actually
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: hit rock bottom in your marriage, and the only place
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: to go there is, well, you can either split or
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: you can build it back up in the way that
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: it needs to be to be successful, to be fruitful,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: to be loving. But you've got to literally break it
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: down and like like a Potter with his clay, you know,
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: you just it goes to mush again and you're going
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: to rebuild from the start. And I would say that
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Val and I got to that point and we.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Wait when, like how long in I'm curious because I've
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: been at the point too.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well twenty fifteen, between fifteen and twenty years kind
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: of hit the rock bottom point. And then and then
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: COVID really helped us. The pandemic really helped us because
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: then we were stuck in a house together.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Well, that's great that it helped you, because a lot
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: of people I know didn't get through it that way.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I know. And we we kind of joked, we were like,
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: this is either going to make us or break us.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: And I'm so happy to say that it that it
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: made us because we we love We have such love
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: for each other that we we didn't want what could
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: have been of splitting. We really didn't want that at
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: the core. And so we talked through so much stuff
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: because we had nowhere to go, and I think both
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: of us came to a place of honesty. You know,
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: when it gets so honest that it's not from an
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: angry place, but it is just so deeply honest and
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: you know it's going to hurt the other person that
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: you want to say it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's when you have to.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: That's when you have to. And that's that's where we
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: got and uh, and we both were really honest in
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: the things that we were both feeling. And then once
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: we we shared those things, it was like, oh, Okay,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: I can actually work with this, I can work with
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: this that now that I know what the problem is.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: And and we did. We just we just kept going
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: and working at it. But that that, I mean, super
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: core deep honesty was pivotal and I think a lot
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: of us might not ever get there or Yeah, it's hard,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: it's so hard.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Nobody wants to not, you know, dump that bucket out,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: like they.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Don't want to dump the bucket out, and they don't
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: want to hear it, like I don't want to hear
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: all my faults, you know what I mean? Yeah, all
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: the things that I'm like that's annoyed you for how
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: many years? But you've never told me? And then you
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: just feel like a.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Schmuck because I think for me a lot of times
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I will think things in my mind and not verbalize them. Yeah,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: And so then I'll start to just carry around whatever
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: it is that's bugging me instead of just getting it
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: out and talking about it and seeing like if it
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: can become like some kind of funny little thing between
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: me and my husband. Are like, just shift it from
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: getting out of here and out onto our table. Yeah,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I think that's good.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Well, it's a lot of it's a lot of work,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: but but I'm so glad that we went through that
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: because now I honestly I feel like we're newlyweds and
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: it's felt like that for the last five years, you know,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: and it's just a beautiful place to be.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Well, congratulations, I mean, I know it's hard work, so
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I commend you. You and I both lost friends stars,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: and the world lost them too.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I will just say for myself, I had moments where
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: I struggled to allow my grief to do its thing
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: because there were so many other people jumping into the
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: grief of it, like because it was a you know,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: famous person in both of our cases that morning from
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: the whole world. My friend Ian once told me, it's hard.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: It's really hard because you just keep getting reminded right
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: of the loss by fans fans everywhere.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they want to they want to console you,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: they want to make you feel better, but at the
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: same time, it's just like bringing it back up over
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: and over and over and over. Do you struggle with
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: getting through your grief with important people like that in
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: your life in a public setting.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I very much relate to what Iron said and
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: what you just said, because I think that that was
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: the hardest part. And you go through your grief, you
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: handle it and with the people that you love around you,
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: and that felt like, Okay, you're going through these different stages.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: I felt that I was dealing with it in a
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: healthy way. That felt like, Okay, you know, this is
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: how it is. But it is that constant reminder when
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: you're around other people and they're like, I'm so sorry
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: for your loss, I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: we just love them, we love you know, and then
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: it doesn't stop. And I don't think I expected that part.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: I mean I hadn't. That never happened to me before
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: until Bob passed away, So I just didn't know how
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: that would feel and what that would experience would be like.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: And you know, we still get it, and I'm sure
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: you still get it every time we are at nineties
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: con or something.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: It's so hard with the cast photos. It's really hard. Yeah.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Well, I do enjoy looking at the cast photos because
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: it his Like Bob's face just brings me a huge smile.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: It just because he was He was so funny and
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: he was one of my best friends and he made
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: me laugh so much. So when I do see his face,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: you know, it's painful that there's loss, but he brought
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: me so much joy, so I can't help but not
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: have joy every time I see his face. But it's
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: more of the I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: for your loss, Like I don't want to be reminded
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: that he's not here anymore, but I'm always happy to
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: see his face. That might not make sense, but that's
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: how it works in my brain.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: No, I get it. I can definitely relate because I
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: don't know. There's something about when people you love are gone,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: like there forever, something in your mind like like you said,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: it's always a good feeling, like always like you made
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: you laugh and you want to stay in that memory
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: of him. Yeah, but revisiting the tragedy, right, that's that
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: moment it is not Yeah, And also people just mean well.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: They just I was just gonna say that people they
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: want to connect, they want to connect with you. They
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: do mean so well, and it truly has grieved them
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: because they were public people and they they meant something
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: to them, and so it is. Yeah, it's just a
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: little bit of a strange thing that go through on
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: that level.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: Right, big picture, what was one of the biggest life
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: choices you made that positively impacted the trajectory of your
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: life to where you are right now? Ooh, I'm sure
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: there's more than one.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: There's more than one. We used to live in Florida.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: We lived there for ten years when my husband played
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: hockey and then he had retired, but we stayed there
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: for a few extra years because our kids were in
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: school there and they loved my kids and my husband
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: loved Florida. And we had moved back to LA after
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: my husband retired because I started working again and I
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: had something that a show that I was on for
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: a couple of years, and that's why we moved back.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: And then there was about a year and I didn't
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: really do anything, and they, they being my family, were like,
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: we really want to move back to Florida, Like we
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: don't want to stay in LA. And I was like,
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I don't want to move back to Florida. And I
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: really am hoping to pursue more things in my career
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: at this point, and everyone really wanted to go back.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: And there was something so deep inside of me that
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: I'd never felt before. I kept praying about it, like, God,
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: it this is if you want us to move back
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: to Florida, let me allow me to feel peace over that.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: And I just didn't. And there was just something so
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: deep inside of me going, no, you're just you're You're
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: on the precipice of something that's gonna hit, and don't
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: go back. And so it was the first time I
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: actually dug my heels in with my family and just said,
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: could you guys all give me one more year? Can
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: you give me one more year in La? Like that,
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: we'll all stay as a family. If nothing happens in
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: terms of I'm not back on a show or I'm
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: not back on whatever I said, then I will. I
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: will happily, unbegrudgingly move back to Florida and we'll go
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: on from there. But I'm asking, would you all give me?
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Can we do one more year here? And it felt
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: like a really big ask as a mom. Yeah, more
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: than anything, because my kids were like, we love Florida,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: we have all our friends back there. We came here
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: for a year, can't we go back? And so it
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: did feel like a selfish ask, but yet I just
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: knew I had to ask it, and I did and
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: they all said, sure, yes, we will. And then that
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: was the year. It wasn't soon after that that everything
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: kind of took off. Literally within a year, I went
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: on Dancing with the Stars, Fuller House was got picked
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: up by Netflix, and the trajectory just went on and
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: you know here. So that was a big pivotal moment
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: in my life.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: That's great though, to not only make that choice, you know,
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: be strong enough to make that choice in the in
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: the eyes of feeling guilty a little bit for your
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: kids and like feeling selfish, but then to end up
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: realizing that that was the right choice, Like, look, how
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: great everyone's doing. We're all doing great. Yeah, and I'm
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: my careers moving forward and I'm doing what I love
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: and yeah, it's just a good spot for you to
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: be in. I know you're making you make a lot
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: of Christmas movies, which people love. I love Christmas movies.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: There's comes a time where I just want to I
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: just type into the search bar Christmas movies, and like
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: they'll come up from everywhere, and there's so so many.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I know, Oh, like the Amish Christmas ones get me
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: every time. But you you just did one, or you're
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: doing one with your daughter.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: I did one, I've already filmed. Yeah, I have two
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: new ones this year. One is with Cameron. It's a
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: sequel movie called Another Sweet Christmas to our movie last year.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: And then I have another one with my daughter Natasha,
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: and it's called Timeless Tidings of Joy. And it's cool
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: because it's so it's a period piece. It's a time
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: travel movie, which I love. The time travel ones make
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: me laugh, Like I.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Who wouldn't want to time travel?
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't want a time travel? So I go back
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: to nineteen forty five and I meet my grandmother as
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: a twenty year old, and so my grandmother's being played
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: by my daughter Natasha. And it's a sweet story in
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: that I get to understand who she is as a
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: young woman and why she made the life choices and
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: decisions back at that time that then affect the present day.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: But that was that was a really special time to
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: get to spend with her and make a movie with her.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, she's been an actress for more than ten years.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: That's what she does. And I just had been looking
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: for a project and was like, Natasha, would you please
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: do a Christmas movie with me? It's like, the Christmas
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: movie is not her goals for her career, but I
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: was like, but this is what mom does and would
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: you please? And when we developed this story, it was
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: just a cool relationship. That she gets to play my
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: grandmother just felt different than being the typical oh, just
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: play my daughter in a movie. You know.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it. I mean I know people are
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: gonna love it. They love it when you know we
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: work with our kids. Yes, they do, because it's like
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: they get to see us how they remember us, but
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: in our kids.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really neat to be able to do that.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: So I hope you guys do it more. I don't
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: know if she'll be into more Christmas movies, but maybe
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: she has the bug now, maybe she's feeling Christmas.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see. She likes the drama way
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: more than me.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, well, Candace, before I let you go what
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: was your last I Choose me moment.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know how many people have said this. I
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: feel like I could be one of many or only
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Cameron Mathison. I literally chose me at the gym this morning,
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: and I feel like every morning I choose me. When
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I wake up and go to the gym and pump
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: iron before my day begins, that is like this. It
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: is all for me. It's all all for me, and
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I love it and it just makes me feel really good.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't think it's all for you, honestly. I
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: think that's a gift you're giving your kids and your grandchildren.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: Well, that's a good way, husband, got it.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing with I Choose me moments.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: They always end up they can feel like it's all
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: me centric, but they end up benefiting the other people
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: in our lives. We just maybe in the moment it
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: feels like it's all for me, which can feel selfish.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: But I don't think in your case, going to the
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: gym feel selfish. But I just have to counter act
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: you know that. Yeah, I think it's for your whole
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: family too. I feel that when I work out, like
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: I want to stay healthy for them as long as
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I can. Yeah, I agree with that, Okay, I love it.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Inspiring for me and so many Thank you for chatting
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: with me today. I really appreciate it.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on it was so nice.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: Nice to see you you too, Bye bye