Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: On The Importance of Making Time for Self-Care With Natasha Hastings

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#HURDLEMOMENT: On The Importance of Making Time for Self-Care With Natasha Hastings · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: If it cost my peace, it's too expensive, and that
0:04
Speaker 1: has shown up in my career, in relationships in life
0:09
Speaker 1: where I'm just like I can love this thing person
0:13
Speaker 1: place from afar if it's going to cost me my peace.
0:31
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily a body here, coming to you live
0:34
Speaker 2: from the AG studio. You are listening to Hurdle, a
0:37
Speaker 2: wellness focused podcast where I connect with everyone from your
0:40
Speaker 2: favorite athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their
0:44
Speaker 2: highest highs, toughest moments, and everything in between. We all
0:49
Speaker 2: go through hurdles in life, and my goal through these
0:51
Speaker 2: discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours and
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Speaker 2: move with intention so that you can stride towards your
0:58
Speaker 2: own big potential and of course have some fun along
1:02
Speaker 2: the way. For today's episode, I am sitting down with
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Speaker 2: Olympic gold medalist turned entrepreneur also past Hurdle guest Natasha
1:14
Speaker 2: hay Stings. Natasha and I are wrapping all about best
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Speaker 2: practice tips on how to prioritize your personal health your
1:21
Speaker 2: self care when life feels hectic, maybe Bruno is lingering
1:25
Speaker 2: and you've just got to take care of you. She
1:29
Speaker 2: definitely knows a thing or two about this as a
1:31
Speaker 2: single mom. She's also pursuing her master's degree to become
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Speaker 2: a therapist and training as a professional athlete. This woman's
1:40
Speaker 2: got a lot going on, and she has learned and
1:42
Speaker 2: implemented the strategies, tips and tricks that we talk about
1:46
Speaker 2: today to get her to a place that she needs
1:48
Speaker 2: to be to manage it all. We talk about the
1:51
Speaker 2: beauty of a morning routine and how sometimes it's important
1:54
Speaker 2: to have some grease with yourself when things don't go
1:57
Speaker 2: as planned. Also, we rap about the of being honest
2:01
Speaker 2: with yourself about how you really feel. If you are
2:05
Speaker 2: feeling overwhelmed, if you are feeling like you just quote
2:08
Speaker 2: unquote literally cannot then you have to be real with
2:13
Speaker 2: that feeling and you have to confront it in order
2:16
Speaker 2: to move forward in order to do something about it.
2:18
Speaker 2: Really really loved this conversation with Natasha. It's been a
2:21
Speaker 2: minute since she's been on the show. I'll make sure
2:23
Speaker 2: to link to her original episode in the show notes.
2:26
Speaker 2: But thank you friend for your time. I appreciate it,
2:30
Speaker 2: and I'm excited to bring this one to the feed.
2:32
Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social
2:34
Speaker 2: It's at Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily a
2:38
Speaker 2: Body And if you haven't done so yet, head on
2:41
Speaker 2: into wherever you are listening to this podcast, and if
2:44
Speaker 2: there's an option to rate and review it, I would
2:46
Speaker 2: absolutely love for you to just take a few seconds
2:50
Speaker 2: and do that. Make sure you're following along with Hurdle
2:52
Speaker 2: over on social It's at Hurdle podcast. I am over
2:55
Speaker 2: at Emily a Body And with that, let's get to
2:58
Speaker 2: hurdling today. I am sitting down with Natasha Hastings. She
3:10
Speaker 2: is a two time Olympic gold medalist turned entrepreneur. A mama,
3:16
Speaker 2: how you doing today?
3:17
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good. How are you?
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Speaker 2: I'm so good. I'm so good. I'm so excited for
3:22
Speaker 2: us to have the opportunity to catch up again. It's
3:25
Speaker 2: been a while now since you and I first sat down.
3:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, just right around two years, right, like we Yeah,
3:33
Speaker 1: right before the Panini happened.
3:35
Speaker 2: So oh, the Panini, the Panini, I like. I'd actually
3:41
Speaker 2: much rather call it that than the alternative, to be honest,
3:44
Speaker 2: I know, well, you and I are here today to
3:48
Speaker 2: wrap about self care strategies prioritizing your health when everything
3:53
Speaker 2: is going crazy. As I mentioned, just now and introing
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Speaker 2: you an impressive stellar history as an act athlete and
4:00
Speaker 2: now balancing all things being a mom while also being
4:04
Speaker 2: an entrepreneur. You're pretty busy, so I would imagine that
4:07
Speaker 2: this balancing act, so to speak, has been one that
4:10
Speaker 2: you have been fine tuning for some time now.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, for for sure. Balance is a word that
4:18
Speaker 1: I struggle with because I don't know that it's realistic,
4:22
Speaker 1: but more so just kind of prioritizing and being forgiving
4:26
Speaker 1: to myself, giving myself some grace. But balance probably for
4:30
Speaker 1: me at least, not the right word, And honestly, talking
4:33
Speaker 1: to some other moms, we kind of feel similar that,
4:36
Speaker 1: like balance isn't necessarily the right word, but you're just
4:39
Speaker 1: kind of what's most important today. Let me take care
4:42
Speaker 1: of that and you just keep going.
4:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, you just keep going. So before we get into
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Speaker 2: some concrete, actionable tips and tricks that I'm sure you've
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Speaker 2: got up your sleeve, why don't you give us a
4:54
Speaker 2: little download on what's been going on with you over
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Speaker 2: the last couple of years. How has the Panini've been
5:01
Speaker 2: for you and your family?
5:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been interesting. So first and foremost, I guess
5:07
Speaker 1: I should mention that I relocated to South Carolina. I
5:11
Speaker 1: did my undergrad here at the University of South Carolina,
5:14
Speaker 1: and I moved back about four months ago now because
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Speaker 1: I'm in grad school. So I am in grad school
5:21
Speaker 1: for clinical mental health. And that largely came about right
5:26
Speaker 1: around the time that we met. You didn't know this
5:29
Speaker 1: because I wasn't sharing at that point because it was very,
5:31
Speaker 1: very fresh. I became a single mom five months postpartum.
5:36
Speaker 1: I'm training for the Olympics, trying to do something impossible,
5:39
Speaker 1: and then Kanini happened and everything stopped, and so like
5:43
Speaker 1: I'm deep in therapy and I'm training, and I'm going
5:47
Speaker 1: through this custody battle and just all these things, and
5:51
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is what I want to do.
5:54
Speaker 1: You know. I do my work through my nonprofit and
5:56
Speaker 1: Natasha Hastings Foundation, and it just seemed to make sense
6:00
Speaker 1: that like this is like the final piece that I
6:04
Speaker 1: need to like really feel like I'm doing the work
6:07
Speaker 1: through my foundation. And also like wanting to work with
6:09
Speaker 1: other athletes after retiring, and so realizing that like sports counseling,
6:15
Speaker 1: but just mental health in general in the black community
6:19
Speaker 1: and the women community. I wanted to be the one
6:23
Speaker 1: to fill that space. So the Panini gave me a
6:25
Speaker 1: little bit of time to slow down and enroll in
6:27
Speaker 1: school for that, so I enrolled online at first. But
6:30
Speaker 1: now I'm back in Colombia working as a graduate assistant
6:33
Speaker 1: with the track team here and getting my degree. And
6:36
Speaker 1: then my son Liam, I have to mention him. He
6:41
Speaker 1: is awesome. He's almost two and a half now, the
6:44
Speaker 1: love of my life. Just everything to me. And of
6:48
Speaker 1: course I'm still training as well. I haven't retired from
6:51
Speaker 1: running yet, so there's a lot of things. But the
6:55
Speaker 1: Panini brought about like for me, it was time to
6:58
Speaker 1: be still, but also so like still kind of work on,
7:02
Speaker 1: you know, the things that are important to me.
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Speaker 2: The things that are important to you. I love that.
7:06
Speaker 2: So how is South Carolina?
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Speaker 1: Then? It's interesting because it is a place that I
7:13
Speaker 1: swore up and down I would never come back to.
7:15
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a New York City girl. Columbia. South
7:19
Speaker 1: Carolina just its history in itself. I mean it was
7:23
Speaker 1: just recently that the Confederate flag was taken off of
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Speaker 1: the state House, and it's just it's a lot different however,
7:30
Speaker 1: since being back, and I think it has a bit
7:33
Speaker 1: to do with my priorities as a mom, just being different.
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Speaker 1: Now it feels at home, It doesn't feel like what
7:39
Speaker 1: I thought it would feel like, as far as like
7:42
Speaker 1: I was totally like, all right, I have twenty three
7:45
Speaker 1: months to finish my program. That's how long I'm here for.
7:49
Speaker 1: And now I'm just kind of like, Okay, maybe I'll
7:51
Speaker 1: move when I finish, maybe I'll stay. Yeah, So so
7:57
Speaker 1: we'll see.
7:58
Speaker 2: We'll see TVD TBD. Okay, So talk about a little
8:02
Speaker 2: bit of a pivot here, adding in going back to
8:05
Speaker 2: school into the mix. Obviously, with doing that, it must
8:09
Speaker 2: be difficult, as you said at the top of this episode,
8:12
Speaker 2: to find that time for you. So why don't you
8:15
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about how you do make
8:17
Speaker 2: that time.
8:19
Speaker 1: Being a single mom with everything else that I'm doing,
8:22
Speaker 1: that's what comes first. And it's been a struggle for
8:25
Speaker 1: me because I became a mom at thirty three, So
8:28
Speaker 1: my identity and my person was something that was important
8:32
Speaker 1: to me. And it's only recently that I've kind of
8:35
Speaker 1: come to terms with this, like mom being a part
8:38
Speaker 1: of my identity and so just kind of embracing that
8:43
Speaker 1: and how much of a change I have personally gone through.
8:48
Speaker 1: But I love being a mom. Want to do it again,
8:51
Speaker 1: can't wait to do it again, maybe two or three
8:53
Speaker 1: times more. But you know, making time for myself and
8:59
Speaker 1: so and the things that I love and who I
9:02
Speaker 1: am first and foremost. So particularly now my son is
9:06
Speaker 1: actually with his father, Today is going to be a
9:08
Speaker 1: day that I literally take care of myself. And that's
9:10
Speaker 1: something that's important to me, that the time that I
9:13
Speaker 1: don't have my son, that's some time that I've designated
9:18
Speaker 1: that like, yeah, I can use that time to get
9:20
Speaker 1: work done that I might not be able to get
9:21
Speaker 1: done with him. But I've got to squeeze in the
9:25
Speaker 1: time to take care of myself. So this morning he
9:28
Speaker 1: left yesterday, I was like, I'm going to be gentle
9:31
Speaker 1: to myself this morning. I slept in I'm still in
9:34
Speaker 1: my pajamas. I took a shower, washed my hair, you know,
9:39
Speaker 1: put a little makeup on even though I'm not going anywhere,
9:43
Speaker 1: made my cup of coffee, made a hot breakfast because
9:46
Speaker 1: most mornings I don't get to have a hot breakfast
9:48
Speaker 1: or hot cup of coffee. But I'm intentional about the
9:52
Speaker 1: time that he's not here. Another thing, when we first
9:56
Speaker 1: moved here, I put him in a daycare, and we
9:59
Speaker 1: just I moved right after his second birthday and he
10:02
Speaker 1: hadn't been in daycare. He was with my mom. My
10:05
Speaker 1: mom was my primary caretaker. So I put him in daycare,
10:08
Speaker 1: and when my day was over, I would be like
10:12
Speaker 1: rushing to pick him up from daycare. And it was
10:16
Speaker 1: my therapist who told me because I was complaining, like
10:19
Speaker 1: I don't have time to go get my nails done.
10:22
Speaker 1: I don't have time to you know, get my hair done.
10:24
Speaker 1: I don't have time to wash my hair, because you know,
10:28
Speaker 1: my thought process went to, Okay, I'm training, I'm working,
10:33
Speaker 1: he's in school all day, I'm you know, doing those
10:36
Speaker 1: things all day. I don't really have time with him anymore.
10:39
Speaker 1: So I want to pick him up as soon as
10:41
Speaker 1: I'm free. But then I'm juggling, like having to run
10:46
Speaker 1: behind a two year old and I still have things
10:48
Speaker 1: to do, you know, or I'm not able to do
10:51
Speaker 1: things for myself. And my therapist was like, so you're
10:54
Speaker 1: paying for daycare and you're rushing to pick him up
10:58
Speaker 1: because why And so you know, now I may leave
11:04
Speaker 1: him at daycare for an extra hour or two because
11:08
Speaker 1: he's at a safe place, a place that he loves too.
11:10
Speaker 1: Sometimes I go to pick him up and I'm like, okay,
11:12
Speaker 1: but come on, we gotta go home now. But it
11:15
Speaker 1: allows me that time to go and do the things
11:18
Speaker 1: that I need to do for myself. And then what
11:21
Speaker 1: also then in turn happened was now when he's home,
11:26
Speaker 1: that time is more meaningful because now I can pour
11:29
Speaker 1: more into him because I've taken care of the things
11:33
Speaker 1: that I need to take care of. So we hear
11:36
Speaker 1: it all the time, like give everything it's time, so
11:40
Speaker 1: that while you're doing the things that mean the most
11:43
Speaker 1: to you, you can be present and in the moment
11:46
Speaker 1: for those things. And that was really a challenge when
11:48
Speaker 1: I first moved here, and it's still something that sometimes
11:51
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily get to finish things the way that
11:53
Speaker 1: I wanted to finish things, or in the time frame,
11:57
Speaker 1: but giving myself that grace that like, Okay, this was
12:00
Speaker 1: the time that I said I was going to work
12:01
Speaker 1: on it today. Tomorrow, maybe I'll move things around and
12:04
Speaker 1: give it another thirty minutes, but now I need to
12:08
Speaker 1: do what I need to do for me and for
12:10
Speaker 1: my family.
12:11
Speaker 2: That idea of I've got to do what's good for
12:14
Speaker 2: me and good for my family, Like the bigger picture
12:17
Speaker 2: really is that taking care of yourself is ultimately making
12:22
Speaker 2: you better for your family. And I also love the
12:25
Speaker 2: sentiment about giving the thing that you're doing at that
12:29
Speaker 2: moment your attention so that you can be fully present
12:33
Speaker 2: in whatever you have going on. When we reflect about
12:37
Speaker 2: life before the pandemic, when all of us arguably may
12:42
Speaker 2: have been quote unquote better at handling more, the question arises,
12:47
Speaker 2: was it that we were better at handling more or
12:50
Speaker 2: were we actually not fully present and so many of
12:53
Speaker 2: the things that we were multitasking and doing and running
12:56
Speaker 2: around trying to just check things off the to do list. Arguably,
13:01
Speaker 2: now I would say I would rather do less but
13:04
Speaker 2: be fully committed and fully present to the things that
13:07
Speaker 2: I want to do, then do all of these things
13:11
Speaker 2: just to check the box.
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Speaker 1: Right exactly exactly. For me, it was like a lot
13:17
Speaker 1: of life passes you by and you miss your victories,
13:21
Speaker 1: you miss the good times because you're just kind of
13:23
Speaker 1: like onto the next. And so, yeah, like being present
13:26
Speaker 1: and being able to separate the things, because I feel
13:30
Speaker 1: like that was a lot of the pandemic too, where
13:32
Speaker 1: it's like we're home, but a lot of all the
13:35
Speaker 1: same things still need to be done, and you're trying
13:37
Speaker 1: to juggle all of these things at one time, and
13:40
Speaker 1: it's just we're just one one person, so you know,
13:44
Speaker 1: really being able to compartmentalize and like really focus on
13:48
Speaker 1: what's important and what we can trim out.
13:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's so true. And I was just thinking
13:54
Speaker 2: about this, the idea of it us saying like, well,
13:57
Speaker 2: I'm home, so I should be able to do all
13:59
Speaker 2: the things that I need to do like in my home. Well, like, yeah,
14:03
Speaker 2: your home, but like that doesn't devalue the amount of
14:06
Speaker 2: stuff that you're trying to get done just because you
14:07
Speaker 2: don't actually have to leave your home to do it.
14:10
Speaker 2: Especially since so many of us have been able to
14:14
Speaker 2: take our work home in a way that maybe we
14:17
Speaker 2: weren't able to do before. It's almost as if it
14:20
Speaker 2: has become impossible not to do a lot of the
14:24
Speaker 2: things that we had to leave to do before. Now
14:26
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, well, you can do it all at home.
14:28
Speaker 2: So this idea that you should feel less overwhelmed because
14:31
Speaker 2: like you can do it all without leaving your house, Like, yeah,
14:34
Speaker 2: that doesn't really ring true for me.
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Speaker 1: And I think that's so like counterintuitive too, because I'm
14:40
Speaker 1: like a person that I've For me, I've found that
14:45
Speaker 1: if I have to work from home, I have to
14:46
Speaker 1: find whatever. But I'm more productive going into an office.
14:50
Speaker 1: And for me, what it is is my home is
14:54
Speaker 1: my sanctuary. My home is my place of peace. And
14:56
Speaker 1: so again going back to these boundaries, a lot of
15:00
Speaker 1: our boundaries were crossed because now, for some of us,
15:03
Speaker 1: bringing work home is not I don't want to deal
15:06
Speaker 1: with work, and there's something about physically leaving that there.
15:10
Speaker 1: You know, when I'm on the track and this is
15:13
Speaker 1: my place of business, this is what I do, this
15:15
Speaker 1: is what I love, I still get to come home
15:18
Speaker 1: and leave that there. And now where a lot of
15:23
Speaker 1: us are having to bring the work home to where
15:26
Speaker 1: home is home, it can cross hairs for some people.
15:29
Speaker 1: And I was one of those people where it's like, Okay,
15:32
Speaker 1: I have got to you know, yes, if I'm working
15:35
Speaker 1: from home, there's a certain time that I work from home.
15:38
Speaker 1: But for the most part, I'm more productive in the office.
15:40
Speaker 1: And that's something that I've realized about myself, and I
15:44
Speaker 1: can create that boundary. But yeah, there's something about like
15:48
Speaker 1: the peace and sanctity of my home that bringing work
15:53
Speaker 1: and the pandemic and everything that came with it home.
15:58
Speaker 1: It created chaos. So this idea that like we're supposed
16:01
Speaker 1: to be more efficient and more productive at home wasn't
16:05
Speaker 1: so for everyone, because instead we were bringing the chaos home,
16:10
Speaker 1: and and people families who had like multiple children, and
16:15
Speaker 1: you're bringing more chaos to what might already be.
16:18
Speaker 2: Chaotic, you know, I do think that on the note
16:21
Speaker 2: of boundaries, even if you don't have like copious amounts
16:24
Speaker 2: of space to have like a separate room for an
16:27
Speaker 2: office or a separate space to like specifically do your work,
16:31
Speaker 2: there were small things that I could do during the
16:34
Speaker 2: height of the pandemic, if you will, back in twenty twenty,
16:38
Speaker 2: that empowered me to like find some solace in the
16:42
Speaker 2: fact that my work and my home were one and
16:45
Speaker 2: the same. I've since moved, but at the time, like
16:48
Speaker 2: I literally had a small desk in the corner of
16:51
Speaker 2: my bedroom. I slept next to where I sat for
16:55
Speaker 2: twelve god, I mean it felt like some days like
16:57
Speaker 2: twelve hours a day, which was really, to your point,
17:01
Speaker 2: like super overwhelming, But being able to set some of
17:04
Speaker 2: those boundaries and parameters was really important for me. It
17:08
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, you will not work after X time
17:12
Speaker 2: or you will make sure that before you open your
17:15
Speaker 2: laptop in the morning, unless like literally something is on
17:20
Speaker 2: fire in your inbox, you will make sure to journal
17:24
Speaker 2: and maybe like shake up your ag one and make
17:27
Speaker 2: sure to leave your home for at least five minutes
17:30
Speaker 2: and walk around the block if like whatever workout you
17:32
Speaker 2: were doing in the morning didn't take you out there, Like,
17:34
Speaker 2: there were certainly little things that I could do for
17:37
Speaker 2: myself that helped me show up better and feel a
17:40
Speaker 2: little bit less overwhelmed despite the uncontrollable, And that is
17:45
Speaker 2: something that I think is one of the biggest takeaways
17:47
Speaker 2: for me from the pandemic really is that I'm done
17:51
Speaker 2: being angry about the things that I can't control, and
17:53
Speaker 2: that anger it doesn't it doesn't serve me whatsoever.
17:57
Speaker 1: That's a fact now that one that anger piece. I
18:01
Speaker 1: can speak to that on so many levels of my
18:03
Speaker 1: life where it's like, if it cost my peace, it's
18:09
Speaker 1: too expensive. And that has shown up in my career,
18:14
Speaker 1: in relationships, in life where I'm just like, I can
18:18
Speaker 1: love this thing person place from afar if it's going
18:22
Speaker 1: to cost me my peace.
18:28
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21:42
Speaker 2: So for you, then, when it comes to prioritizing your
21:46
Speaker 2: self care, I know right now you mentioned having this
21:49
Speaker 2: nice little having this nice little time period where you
21:52
Speaker 2: have some time completely to yourself. But on the days
21:55
Speaker 2: where you are trying to quote unquote do it all
21:58
Speaker 2: or do many more things at once, what are some
22:01
Speaker 2: of your tried and true tricks and tips to navigate
22:05
Speaker 2: that kind of chaos and take care of you.
22:07
Speaker 1: I still do the old fashioned pen and paper scheduling.
22:11
Speaker 2: I don't know.
22:11
Speaker 1: The Google calendar doesn't work for me, and sometimes I
22:15
Speaker 1: plan my day hour by hour. And it is also
22:19
Speaker 1: a lot or some of what you said in terms
22:22
Speaker 1: of like making sure that I have that time before
22:24
Speaker 1: I get out of the bed. I'd love to have
22:27
Speaker 1: a hot cup of coffee, but my son is an
22:29
Speaker 1: early riser, so that doesn't always happen. It's planning my
22:33
Speaker 1: day the old fashion way, taking the time in the morning.
22:37
Speaker 1: Some mornings I will drop him off at school and
22:40
Speaker 1: come back and give myself thirty minutes of just like
22:44
Speaker 1: I make my own breakfast, I have my own quiet time,
22:48
Speaker 1: not turning on the TV or looking at my phone
22:51
Speaker 1: in the first fifteen to twenty minutes that I wake up,
22:55
Speaker 1: and just kind of like taking that time to meditate
22:57
Speaker 1: and set my intentions for the day and just kind
23:01
Speaker 1: of clear my mind before like embarking on the day.
23:05
Speaker 1: But my scheduler is my best friend. And the biggest
23:10
Speaker 1: lesson that I've I've also had to learn here and
23:14
Speaker 1: especially as a mom, is like being truthful about how
23:17
Speaker 1: I feel. My therapist told me a couple of weeks ago,
23:21
Speaker 1: she I was we were talking about something and without
23:23
Speaker 1: going into detail, you know, I was like, you know,
23:26
Speaker 1: when people ask me, I feel like I'm just you know,
23:30
Speaker 1: lying and I'm saying one thing, but you know, in
23:33
Speaker 1: my heart, I feel another way. And she was she
23:36
Speaker 1: said to me, you know, that's a form of self betrayal.
23:40
Speaker 1: And so she was like, you know, you don't have
23:41
Speaker 1: to put people in your business, but you can also
23:43
Speaker 1: be honest about how you're feeling. And I think that
23:46
Speaker 1: that resonated with me in a number of ways because
23:50
Speaker 1: I think that it's important for me to acknowledge how
23:55
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, and on the days where I feel overwhelmed,
24:00
Speaker 1: I need to acknowledge that, and in acknowledging that, then
24:04
Speaker 1: I can reassess my day. Take today, for instance, my
24:10
Speaker 1: son's gone. There's a ton of things that I want
24:12
Speaker 1: to do. I got him a playhouse for Christmas. I'm
24:16
Speaker 1: setting it up in his room. Blah blah blah. I'm
24:17
Speaker 1: going to spend the day doing that. And I woke
24:20
Speaker 1: up this morning and I was like, you did a
24:22
Speaker 1: whole lot over the Christmas vacation. You start class in
24:26
Speaker 1: a week and a half. It's okay to actually push
24:30
Speaker 1: your day back, relax, spend the morning in your bathroom.
24:35
Speaker 1: It's okay allowing myself space for that, because every day
24:41
Speaker 1: isn't going to be peachy Rosie, planning down to the
24:44
Speaker 1: minute happen the way that you want it to happen.
24:46
Speaker 1: But you know there are days where obviously if my
24:50
Speaker 1: son was here, I wouldn't have been able to take
24:52
Speaker 1: the morning in that sense. But when I can, I
24:56
Speaker 1: give myself space to do that definitely.
24:58
Speaker 2: And something that said to me once, and I know
25:01
Speaker 2: that it's in her cookbook. She says that mood follows action.
25:04
Speaker 2: So the action in this sense is acknowledging what's really
25:08
Speaker 2: going on, because until we acknowledge what's really going on
25:11
Speaker 2: or how we feel, then we can't actually do anything
25:14
Speaker 2: about it, and we're kind of stuck in this like icky,
25:17
Speaker 2: yucky feeling. You know, we're like, oh, I don't know
25:20
Speaker 2: why I feel this way, and it's like, well, like
25:21
Speaker 2: you're completely ignoring whatever's going on inside. And until you
25:26
Speaker 2: tell yourself, like, you know what, this is, what this is,
25:28
Speaker 2: how I feel, this is, this is where I'm at.
25:31
Speaker 2: So you admit that to yourself, then you can't move
25:33
Speaker 2: forward and do anything about it. And I'm with you.
25:35
Speaker 2: I totally support the morning in the Rope thing. I
25:38
Speaker 2: think something for me that that twenty twenty one really
25:41
Speaker 2: did was. I remember my friends used to joke we
25:44
Speaker 2: were certainly younger. I would say, maybe like six seven
25:48
Speaker 2: years ago. I'm in like my mid twenties, and I
25:51
Speaker 2: had these neighbors and they were famous in our building
25:54
Speaker 2: for like being the ultimate Sunday ers, Like these two
25:57
Speaker 2: girls that would like just throw on movies all day.
26:00
Speaker 2: They'd probably be hungover and they would like lay on
26:03
Speaker 2: the couch for like twelve hours. And at the time,
26:05
Speaker 2: like I was the friend that was like physically incapable
26:08
Speaker 2: of doing something like that. Like they were like, Emily,
26:10
Speaker 2: do you ever sit still? I can't imagine, Like I
26:13
Speaker 2: would try to pay you one hundred dollars and see
26:14
Speaker 2: if you could actually stay on the couch for twelve hours.
26:17
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying I do that all the time now,
26:19
Speaker 2: But in twenty twenty one, I became good quote unquote
26:24
Speaker 2: at like actually resting, actually like allowing myself to do
26:28
Speaker 2: something like that without being like angry or like frustrated
26:31
Speaker 2: that like I needed to be doing something else or
26:35
Speaker 2: you know, working hard on Project X or Project Y,
26:39
Speaker 2: like giving myself back grace to be like no, like
26:41
Speaker 2: it's okay, just to like boo. And that's hard. It's hard.
26:46
Speaker 2: It's hard because of I would say, like the hustle culture.
26:49
Speaker 2: It's hard because we're always like especially I know that
26:51
Speaker 2: you can relate as an entrepreneur, you're always asking yourself
26:54
Speaker 2: like what else can I do? Who else can I
26:57
Speaker 2: talk to? Who should I be meeting with? What should
26:58
Speaker 2: I be doing? Like whatever? But like at the end
27:01
Speaker 2: of the day, not saying like we could put everything off,
27:04
Speaker 2: but sometimes you got to put some stuff.
27:05
Speaker 1: Off, some stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, it's okay. The
27:11
Speaker 1: world I've learned that it's going to be okay. Sometimes
27:15
Speaker 1: I might not meet this deadline or the deadline that
27:19
Speaker 1: I've created in my mind, but as long as it
27:21
Speaker 1: gets done, that's that's what matters. If my mental if
27:28
Speaker 1: my headspace, because because even that I remember another thing
27:32
Speaker 1: that my therapist told me early on was my mental
27:36
Speaker 1: health and sanity was also for my son's benefit. And
27:42
Speaker 1: I think that applies in every aspect of our life,
27:45
Speaker 1: right because when you're well rested and able to be
27:49
Speaker 1: more present in what it is that you're doing, you
27:53
Speaker 1: can be happier about the product that it is that
27:56
Speaker 1: you're putting out or whatever it is that you're working
27:58
Speaker 1: on because you actually really are well rested, able to
28:02
Speaker 1: focus and get the thing done the way you want
28:05
Speaker 1: to get it done, as opposed to something that you're
28:07
Speaker 1: just like, I don't care, I need to get this done,
28:09
Speaker 1: and then you look back on it like, man, I
28:11
Speaker 1: could have done this so much better or you know,
28:13
Speaker 1: put better effort into it. And so that time that
28:17
Speaker 1: we take to take care of ourselves so that we
28:20
Speaker 1: can show up that way is incredibly important. It's just
28:24
Speaker 1: as important as the work that we do in our
28:27
Speaker 1: relationships and in our work and all the things in
28:30
Speaker 1: our life.
28:31
Speaker 2: You've talked about speaking with a therapist. You also mentioned
28:35
Speaker 2: a little bit of meditation. Is there anything else that
28:37
Speaker 2: you do when it comes to taking care of your
28:41
Speaker 2: mental health in the day to day.
28:43
Speaker 1: I think hydration and nutrition gets a lot gets left
28:48
Speaker 1: out of the conversation a lot, but I think it's
28:50
Speaker 1: incredibly important. I don't know about you, but when I'm hungry,
28:53
Speaker 1: I'm hungry. My mood is not the greatest. And hydration
28:58
Speaker 1: for all the obvious reasons. I like to have good skin,
29:02
Speaker 1: but like, we can't function without hydration and another mood booster. Honestly,
29:07
Speaker 1: and I think sometimes we forget the basics.
29:10
Speaker 2: It's so easy to like be.
29:12
Speaker 1: Going through the day and look up and be like, oh, no,
29:14
Speaker 1: I didn't need lunch, you know, making that time to
29:18
Speaker 1: and then separate your lunch from your work. Don't do
29:20
Speaker 1: the working lunch thing. We actually have a breakroom in
29:23
Speaker 1: the athletic department, and I go down to the breakroom
29:26
Speaker 1: to have my lunch, and I'll sit at the table
29:27
Speaker 1: by myself, but like again removing myself from that work atmosphere.
29:33
Speaker 1: I feel like enough emphasis isn't placed on nutrition and hydration,
29:38
Speaker 1: and I think that those things are important. Making sure
29:40
Speaker 1: your vitamins are because they're all mood boosters.
29:43
Speaker 2: I bought conveniently when I moved in here, one of
29:46
Speaker 2: those maths that you put like in front of your sink.
29:48
Speaker 2: It's from a company called House of Noah. I am
29:50
Speaker 2: like obsessed with this matt and it's so compy to
29:53
Speaker 2: stand on. So on a good day, the luxury for
29:57
Speaker 2: me is like making a salad or something and then
30:00
Speaker 2: like standing at the kitchen island on my cushy little
30:04
Speaker 2: matt and like eating my lunch. Like that feels like
30:07
Speaker 2: a really nice break from just like being sat at
30:10
Speaker 2: my desk all day.
30:11
Speaker 1: I get it.
30:12
Speaker 2: Okay, So new question, hydration, implementing talk therapy, making it
30:17
Speaker 2: that time for you in the morning and at night.
30:19
Speaker 2: I mean, these are a lot of really great strategies.
30:22
Speaker 2: My last two questions for you. Firstly, did you have
30:26
Speaker 2: a time maybe where you realized that the lack of
30:30
Speaker 2: self care was actually debilitating for you?
30:34
Speaker 1: Yes? And ironically it was like at the beginning of
30:41
Speaker 1: the pandemic, because I admittedly was in survival mode because,
30:46
Speaker 1: as I mentioned, my ex and I had split up.
30:50
Speaker 1: I'm a newly single mom. I'm still like trying to
30:54
Speaker 1: hold on to like training for the Olympics, just without
30:58
Speaker 1: like sitting down and acknowledge what was happening. I always
31:03
Speaker 1: go back to my first session with my therapist, because
31:07
Speaker 1: I literally went to see her the week after we
31:10
Speaker 1: broke up, and I, you know, she's like, so, what's
31:13
Speaker 1: going on? And I like laid out all these things
31:16
Speaker 1: and she.
31:17
Speaker 2: Was like okay.
31:20
Speaker 1: And so later on she that day she told me
31:25
Speaker 1: I'm great at compartmentalizing. But later on in our counseling relationship,
31:28
Speaker 1: she's still my counselor two years later, she was like,
31:31
Speaker 1: I always remember that first session where you came in
31:34
Speaker 1: and you just you laid out everything that was happening,
31:36
Speaker 1: everything that you were doing, and she was like, I'm
31:40
Speaker 1: looking at you thinking like you should be in a
31:43
Speaker 1: fetal position, balling your eyes out right now, and you're
31:46
Speaker 1: just like, this is what it is, this was, this
31:50
Speaker 1: was needs, this is what needs to happen. How are
31:52
Speaker 1: you going to help me fix this? And I didn't
31:56
Speaker 1: take the time to like talk about acknowledging that I
32:01
Speaker 1: was overwhelmed, and in doing that a lot of things
32:06
Speaker 1: were coming to a head in my life and things
32:08
Speaker 1: weren't playing out the way that I wanted them to
32:11
Speaker 1: play out. Obviously, even though I'm showing up, but I
32:15
Speaker 1: wasn't showing up as my best self because I wasn't
32:17
Speaker 1: taking care of myself and I wasn't acknowledging what I
32:20
Speaker 1: was feeling and what I was going through because it
32:23
Speaker 1: was just like I got to survive. I got to
32:26
Speaker 1: make sure that we get through this. I got to
32:28
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm on the team. I got to
32:30
Speaker 1: make sure that I take care of all these things
32:32
Speaker 1: without taking care of myself. And then just realizing that,
32:36
Speaker 1: like this little guy is depending on me, and if
32:40
Speaker 1: I don't take care of myself. You know, not only
32:43
Speaker 1: is there the possibility that I won't be here to
32:46
Speaker 1: be there for him, but I can't be there for
32:50
Speaker 1: him in the best way possible. And you know, even
32:54
Speaker 1: understanding that they're going to be I'm going to inflict
32:58
Speaker 1: my own traumas on him unintentionally of course, But what
33:04
Speaker 1: I can do to prevent or you know, be accountable
33:09
Speaker 1: for those things. I want to do those things. So
33:12
Speaker 1: and it all starts with taking care of me. So yeah,
33:16
Speaker 1: the paniniini full circle.
33:22
Speaker 2: Man, I'm like sitting here thinking like, what's for lunch?
33:24
Speaker 2: Do I have the things to make? Wow? Yeah, I
33:29
Speaker 2: think that this situation. I mean, obviously everyone yours has
33:33
Speaker 2: its specifics, but so many women can certainly relate. So
33:37
Speaker 2: many of us can really relate to this idea that
33:40
Speaker 2: it's easy to put a lot of things in front
33:44
Speaker 2: of taking care of ourselves. But again, this idea that
33:49
Speaker 2: until you prioritize your self care, then you're not going
33:53
Speaker 2: to be able to execute and so many of the
33:55
Speaker 2: other things that are important to you in perhaps the
33:58
Speaker 2: best way, and so making that time, making it a
34:02
Speaker 2: priority is just it's so so so important when you
34:05
Speaker 2: think about self care and you know, taking care of
34:09
Speaker 2: yourself in twenty twenty two. Is there anything that you
34:11
Speaker 2: want to add to the mix or maybe switch up
34:14
Speaker 2: a little bit.
34:14
Speaker 1: There's something that I want to revisit. In the past,
34:18
Speaker 1: I still journal, but I have more taken up voice
34:22
Speaker 1: journaling because sometimes it's like I just have these thoughts
34:27
Speaker 1: just circling in my mind and it's just like I
34:29
Speaker 1: just need to vomit it out, just get it out.
34:31
Speaker 1: And so it's been easier for me to voice note
34:33
Speaker 1: record and I've shared that with a couple of my
34:35
Speaker 1: friends and that's been helpful. But I want to revisit
34:39
Speaker 1: like actually journaling pen and paper. But also I used
34:44
Speaker 1: to do vision boards and I used to always do
34:47
Speaker 1: it before the new year, and it was the coolest
34:50
Speaker 1: thing because it would always be somewhere in my room,
34:52
Speaker 1: in my bedroom that I would see all the time,
34:56
Speaker 1: but at the end of the year, it would always
34:58
Speaker 1: be cool to see like, oh, oh my goodness, this
35:01
Speaker 1: actually happened. I actually did this, or I got closer
35:03
Speaker 1: to this, or oh we forgot about this. And so
35:06
Speaker 1: I want to be able to do that going forward.
35:11
Speaker 1: I think that was one of my practices that like
35:14
Speaker 1: as a mom that didn't quite work out or I
35:18
Speaker 1: kind of forgot. So I want to get back to
35:21
Speaker 1: that because that's something that allows me to stop and
35:26
Speaker 1: celebrate my small victories. I think a lot of times
35:29
Speaker 1: we get caught up in like the big picture that
35:33
Speaker 1: we don't get to like stop and say, like, oh, well,
35:37
Speaker 1: I've actually made progress. I have been working towards that.
35:40
Speaker 1: That happened. Oh my goodness, I didn't take the time
35:42
Speaker 1: to do a little happy dance for that. So I
35:45
Speaker 1: want to get back to that.
35:47
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. I think that for me,
35:50
Speaker 2: I was in a really great groove of journaling for
35:53
Speaker 2: like a year or so, and then I fell out
35:55
Speaker 2: of it. And the way that I got back into
35:57
Speaker 2: it actually was revisiting it in a way that didn't
36:01
Speaker 2: look like it used to and not judging the fact
36:03
Speaker 2: that like it wasn't the same format as it was
36:06
Speaker 2: in the previous year. So I started doing three things
36:10
Speaker 2: I was grateful for, but I wouldn't write them down
36:13
Speaker 2: until I was sat at my desk because I got
36:16
Speaker 2: to this point where in the mornings, I was putting
36:18
Speaker 2: off the journaling that I used to do because I
36:20
Speaker 2: wanted to get to the rest of the things that
36:22
Speaker 2: I wanted to get done in the morning. But when
36:24
Speaker 2: I get to my desk every day, there is this
36:26
Speaker 2: moment of like, Okay, what comes first, or like what
36:29
Speaker 2: email am I going to tackle? What thing am I
36:31
Speaker 2: going to do? What expert am I going to reach
36:32
Speaker 2: out to? And it was almost like, okay, well, something
36:36
Speaker 2: that could help me kind of organize my thoughts every
36:38
Speaker 2: day in this one way is like sitting down at
36:41
Speaker 2: my desk and before I make that to do list,
36:42
Speaker 2: I just write down three things that I feel really
36:45
Speaker 2: thankful for in the last twenty four hours and that
36:47
Speaker 2: it was a really great way for me to get
36:49
Speaker 2: back to a practice that I really appreciated.
36:52
Speaker 1: I love your ability to what's the word I get
36:58
Speaker 1: stuck in, like need to look this way and feel
37:02
Speaker 1: this way that I don't give myself that like the
37:07
Speaker 1: the ability to give yourself that room to like, Okay,
37:10
Speaker 1: I'm not going to journal that way anymore, but I'm
37:13
Speaker 1: going to do this and that is what I need
37:16
Speaker 1: and it feels good and I'm not going to get
37:18
Speaker 1: stuck in Well, journaling has to be this way.
37:22
Speaker 2: I love that, thank you, I'm looking on that well,
37:25
Speaker 2: I do think that that's something that that does require work, right,
37:29
Speaker 2: because there are certain things and I'm not saying like
37:31
Speaker 2: everything is like this in my life, but there are
37:33
Speaker 2: definitely times where I get so fed up with like
37:36
Speaker 2: my own bs of well I was doing this or
37:40
Speaker 2: I was this way. I mean, please, as an athlete,
37:43
Speaker 2: I'm sure because I can certainly relate to this, and
37:47
Speaker 2: I've been through moments like this where I'm frustrated that
37:49
Speaker 2: I'm not performing in the same way that I used to,
37:52
Speaker 2: or that I, you know, am not the same Emily
37:55
Speaker 2: that is running marathons now at thirty three, that was
37:59
Speaker 2: running marathons at thirty one. And I got to a
38:03
Speaker 2: place again where I was just like tired of my
38:05
Speaker 2: own vs and instead of being angry about the things
38:08
Speaker 2: that I can't control or being mad at myself that
38:11
Speaker 2: I'm not executing in a certain way, it's like, Okay,
38:13
Speaker 2: well this is how it is now, So how can
38:15
Speaker 2: I execute and find that same level of contentment or
38:20
Speaker 2: joy from these things? And we're doing these things, so
38:23
Speaker 2: many of these self care habits, so many of these rituals,
38:26
Speaker 2: so many of these activities, because they bring us joy.
38:29
Speaker 2: So why are you getting angry or forcing yourself to
38:33
Speaker 2: do something that doesn't make you feel that same way.
38:36
Speaker 2: It just doesn't make sense.
38:38
Speaker 1: Well, you just gave me a word. I'm gonna practice that.
38:41
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. Well. Thank you so
38:43
Speaker 2: much for your tips and your takeaways and of course
38:46
Speaker 2: taking the time. I'm so happy to hear that you're
38:48
Speaker 2: getting a little bit more of it for yourself right now.
38:51
Speaker 2: How do how do the hurdlers follow along with you?
38:53
Speaker 2: How do they keep up with you going in here
38:56
Speaker 2: to the new year?
38:57
Speaker 1: Thank you? This was a pleasure catching up with you
39:00
Speaker 1: since the Panini, since we last met. But yeah, I'm
39:04
Speaker 1: on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Natasha Hastings Easy peasy, Yeah peasy.
39:12
Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast
39:15
Speaker 2: Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys next time.