Latest / Beyond The Ceremony: Modern Celebrancy. Unfiltered. / Beyond The Ceremony Podcast Episode 16: Celebrancy In Ireland
Transcript
- Speaker 1 0:00 Hi. So welcome back to beyond the ceremony. I'm Laura Crockett, AMC mentor and your host, and I am very excited that today's episode is all about celebrancy in Ireland, and to talk to me all about this, today is the lovely Connie from hitched by Connie, hi, Connie. Speaker 2 0:16 Hi, Laura, hi. Thank you for inviting me on to this. Is very exciting. Speaker 1 0:21 Oh, very, very exciting. Yes. Oh, well, I'm glad I'm the one to pop your podcast cherry. Then it's lovely to have you. Yeah, it's really lovely to have you. Today, we're going to be talking all about how celebrancy works in Ireland, but I guess the first thing for us to do is for you to introduce yourself. Connie, so can you introduce yourself? Tell me a little bit about you and kind of your journey as a celebrant so far. Speaker 2 0:43 Yeah. Well, my name is Connie. I'm married to pawrick, and I have four children all grown up now and flown. They've all flown the now, lots of different parts of Europe, I suppose, and and Ireland. So, you know, how did I get into celebrancy? My background couldn't be any further from celebrancy. I'm a civil engineer. Oh, wow. I work most of my adult life, and when the children were growing up in the construction industry, Unknown Speaker 1:22 and as part of that, I suppose, Speaker 2 1:27 as an offshoot of that, I was developing properties, so, you know, as an offshoot, doing up houses, selling them, things like that, yeah, and then the big crash came. I don't know if you can even remember that. But the downturn came, and that all got pushed to one side, even though I was still working in the construction industry, yeah, I wasn't able, I suppose, to use my my design flare, if you'd like, for the one to the better description. So I bought this little caravan, the tiniest little caravan you can ever imagine. I bought it for something like 40 Euro, no way. And very, very lonely and very, very sad looking, but I spent my evenings and my time doing it up, yeah, and then, you know, holidays and all of that come to an end because of the downturn. And I had this idea in my head that I was going to do this carbon up. It was going to be so gorgeous that all my we'd go off on little trips away, and it couldn't have been any further. Absolutely no way anybody was coming anywhere. But it was absolutely beautiful. I had done up like a little Doll's House. Was absolutely gorgeous. So then I had to start thinking, what am I going to do with this caravan? Yeah. So then came this idea that I was, this is going back about 10 years ago now, I was going to turn it into a mobile cafe bar. Oh, I love this. That's what I did. So it was a mobile Cafe Bar, absolutely beautiful, but not just, you know, pulling up anywhere and selling coffee. I just honed that down and I was doing afternoon or after ceremony teas and coffees after the wedding ceremony in the church ground. Speaker 1 3:21 Oh, that's amazing, yeah. And then after that, Speaker 2 3:25 grew a little, grew legs, and I was doing it in at the sermon, at the wedding venues, and cocktails, Proseccos. So I was doing that for about five years. And guess what? The kids were all on board, because it meant money to help me out. They were going to these weddings. They were having their sneaky little whatevers after the ceremonies themselves. It actually turned out to be really, really exciting and really great fun, because every time I did a wedding, I was dealing with either one or more of the kids, early 20s. So it was they loved it, yeah, and of course, I loved it even more then. So that was really great one then one day or one particular time we were doing a Prosecco reception, and we were there maybe two hours in advance to get set up. And I had my daughter and my son with me, so I had lots of help, and I went off for a little walk because we were all set up, and ceremony was on the grounds, but it was down in a wooded area. Yeah, and I decided to go for a little walk and watch this ceremony. And I was absolutely blown away. I'd never seen or been at a celebrant ceremony before because it was relatively new to Ireland. Yeah, we don't have it here all that long. Yeah, this was one of the first ones. So even with my cafe bar, they were all outside the churches. Yeah, yeah, and this was probably one of the first. Maybe at the time, but certainly my first one, and I, I came running back up, and I said to my dog, you got to come down and see this. It's absolutely incredible. It was in this old ruin of a church. It was so personal. It was so relaxed, um, outdoors, which was, Unknown Speaker 5:19 oh, yeah, Speaker 2 5:19 you know, beyond everything, yeah, and all my life up to that, my working life was outdoor, because I was in the construction industry, which was mainly outdoors and and, yes. Unknown Speaker 5:32 Apart from all of that, being outdoors, Speaker 2 5:37 being relaxed, it was still very, very respectful, yeah, the fact that it was something really important to this couple. At that particular time, I didn't even know the difference between a legal ceremony and an and whether it was a symbolic sermon, yeah, at that particular point in time, it did not matter to me. I just thought the whole thing that was beautiful was amazing, and it actually to this day, I still don't know whether that was a symbolic or Yeah or a legal service, and it did really not matter. I said to my daughter, I would love to do that. She says, Why don't you? And I said, Sure. How could I do that anyway? That's how that happened. And I started to make more inquiries and more inquiries, and then see more of them and hear, you know, you know yourself when you touch something on Instagram or, Oh yeah, you're just this whole new feed of stuff every day before, but you think the phone's listening, and it probably is. Yeah, I then went on to train with the Institute at the Irish Institute of celebrant in Ireland, and I did my training with them. And that was my first step into it. And it was amazing, because even there, I met all these new contacts, these new people from completely different walks of life. Yeah, yeah. Because when you're working in a certain industry, you know you've got them, and you're so busy, and you're with your kids are small, you're so busy, so you're just with their parents, mostly moms, and maybe your old friends from school, when you can grab them and your working life. So these, you know, you have those three little pockets of friends, yeah, but then in when I joined the Institute of celebrants, they were from completely different walks of life, Yeah, completely different walk of life. So they were, I still am friends with, with a lot of them, and I suppose that's how I got into Speaker 1 7:43 it. Wow, that's amazing. And just so incredible that you had your children with you, and were they really supportive from day one? Because we've spoken about that on previous episodes about having that support network around you. Yeah, Speaker 2 7:55 hugely, hugely. They weren't children. They weren't babies, yeah, they were they were all young adults, yeah. And actually, you know, when I, when I started out with the celebrancy first, that was pre covid, yes, yeah. And I just started my journey. And of course, then, you know, it kind of stopped for a while. But I did other things during that time. I worked on my website. I worked, yeah, my social media. I, you know, there was a gap to be filled, and I filled it during, yeah, Speaker 1 8:33 that's the good thing. It kind of gave you that springboard, I guess, to get started, yeah, Speaker 2 8:36 yeah, exactly. So up to that I had, there were, they were symbolic ceremonies. So I hadn't become a solemnizer at that stage. So during lockdown, all my kids came home to live at home, because it was, they were living in Dublin, and, you know, they were going to college, but also working in Dublin. And I said, we all got such a scare, I suppose, such a frightened I said at one stage, listen, either because I had vulnerable parents myself who lived nearby, yeah, so it was all of this pink, what are we going to do? Yeah. So we said, look at this is your chance to either come home now or you stay where you are. Yeah, we didn't know what was happening anyway. I said your dad is going to work from home. I'm going to work from home. So what we'll do is I'll have lunch on the table every day at one o'clock and dinner. So Dinner, dinner in the evening. So we're all home, yeah, they're all Unknown Speaker 9:41 back. They were going, right, okay, Mom. Oh, Unknown Speaker 9:45 that's lovely, yeah. Speaker 2 9:46 So we, we had a couple of lockdowns together, and all working from home, all on Zoom calls. I was on Zoom calls, preparing for my service. Monies, yeah, that were going to be soon. Some of them were postponed, but it all still went on. And then after lockdown, boom, they were all gone. Unknown Speaker 10:11 They all left. Yeah, that's it. They're like, Bye, Speaker 2 10:13 mom, yeah, that was it. It had enough. My eldest went to Dubai. My second went to Switzerland. Brianna went to Venice to do masters, and my youngest went to France to do his gap year. Wow, my goodness. And then I felt right. I've got all this energy, all this passion. I want to take my celebrancy to the next level, yeah, and that's when I joined entheos, yes, which is an organization that took me to the next level. Is, if you like, entheos shared the same values as me, and their foundation is firmly rooted in my core values, which is inclusivity, diversity, freedom and choice, yeah. And with that, then the belief that beautiful ceremonies and legal ceremonies should be accessible for all, no matter what your belief Absolutely. Speaker 1 11:20 And that is something actually Connie that I was talking to Nikki about in the previous episode, where we were saying, how, you know, in England, no no, celebrants have the, you know, ability to be able to perform legally binding ceremonies, but you obviously still have a choice of the kind of celebrant that you want to be. So when I looked at qualifying, I looked at humanist UK, and I also looked at Independence celebrancy. And for me, independence celebrancy felt more aligned with what I wanted to offer, because it meant that I could then let my couples choose what they wanted in terms of their beliefs and things like that. And that was something that was quite important to me. So is that kind of how it works with your ceremonies? Connie, you can include, you know, religion and different cultures and beliefs, if they want to, yes, yeah, Unknown Speaker 12:04 yeah, yeah. So with entheos, Speaker 2 12:09 it's, it's a non denominational organization, but, but it's still, you know, at the, at the core, it's for the marginalized communities. And that's, that's, you know, who our members, we encourage members from the marginalized communities to apply to become members of NPOs. And then, you know, with that couples from the marginalized, you know, communities can pick a celebrant that aligns with their belief. Yes, but it, but it is Unknown Speaker 12:44 non denominational. It so in Ireland, Speaker 2 12:48 to be a solemnizer. So I don't know whether you use that word in the UK. Speaker 1 12:55 No, it's not. It's quite a new word to me. And when I knew you were coming on yourself and Nikki, I was like, right? I need to do my research. But yeah, so for people listening who don't know what that is, please tell us about Speaker 2 13:06 that no solemnizer is a person. I'm not sure if they have it in in other countries, but in Ireland, that's the title given to the person who can perform a legal marriage, right? So in other words, a Catholic priest is a solemnizer also. So in order to perform the legal ceremony, you must be a solemnizer, right? So not every celebrant is a solemnizer, yes, got it, but every solemnizer is a celebrant, yes, okay, got it. Got it. And to become a solemnizer, in Ireland, you have to be on the register of solemnizers. And it's a process. Unknown Speaker 13:52 You must be Speaker 2 13:54 a member of a recognized religion or religious group or secular group. And in Ireland, there's just one secular group, which are the humanist society. Yeah, everybody else, every other organization on the register of salmonizers, are religious. Unknown Speaker 14:14 Yes. Okay, so we've asked the Catholic Speaker 2 14:17 religion, the Protestant religion, the Buddhist religion. These are all considered religions, and with ntls, it's non denominational. So in other words, if you're Catholic and you'd like a ceremony because you want to marry a Buddhist, but you don't want to marry in the Catholic church or in the Buddhist church. I'm not sure if I'm using the right term there, but you want a legal marriage that might incorporate elements of Catholicism, yes and Buddhism, yes, you can get married with us because we recognize all faith and none, Speaker 1 14:58 right? That makes sense. Yes, yeah, that makes sense, yeah. Unknown Speaker 15:01 So if you, I just say to my couples, Speaker 2 15:05 you know, if you, you may not you, you may not be a practicing Catholic, but you, your grandmother, your your great grandmother may have brought you spent weekends with her, and when you spent weekends with her, she said these prayers to you every night, yeah, and maybe that way at your ceremony, and you'd like that prayer said at your ceremony, you can Speaker 1 15:33 have that Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And I think that's so important, yeah, yeah. It really is so important to be able to recognize that. And I think, like we said, actually what we're led by is the couple's wishes and what they want to include. So like you say, it might not be that they are particularly religious, but it might be that they have religious elements that it's really important to them to include in their ceremony, and rightly Speaker 2 15:56 so. Yeah. So for instance, if you go to the registry office here in Ireland, and you just have your civil ceremony. That's the civil ceremony in Ireland, is there is the registry office? Yeah, there's no religion there. You can't say a prayer, Speaker 1 16:13 yeah, there's no religion, yeah, that's like, it is here with registrars, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 16:17 So you can, it's, it's kind of you can you can have what you what you wish, yeah, what works for you. My religious body would have been empty us. They submit the application for for me as an individual to be included on the register of solemnizers. They look at my application, my personal details, there's, there's a there's a format to go through, yeah, yeah. You're nominated. They decide whether they will accept you or not, or approve you. And then you're, you're put on the list of approved solemnizers. And then after that, then you follow the legal procedures Unknown Speaker 17:02 and requirements at your ceremonies. Speaker 1 17:04 Yes, right, that makes sense, because that's the thing here, just touching back on that religion again. So if we had a couple in England who wanted to have a ceremony where they were incorporating both religions or both cultures or faiths, then actually they would have to use a celebrant for that, because if they're not going to be doing it in the church, because, like you say, they don't want to go to one church or the other, they can't use a registrar because they can't have the religious content. So actually, the choice in England is that you do use a celebrant, but obviously we don't do the legally binding bit. So the way it works here is they have to do that bit separately, go to a registry office and do that part as just a paperwork appointment. You know, some of my couples call it their practice of ceremony, or some of them call it, you know, fountain pen day, or paperwork day, like doing that bit, then we go and actually lead the ceremony, whereas, for yourself in Ireland, you can actually do both. So they can have the best of both worlds. They can have the legal bit all on the same day, Speaker 2 18:02 but we also do exactly what you do. Also, lots of celebrants do that as well. Yeah, and without the legal part, sometimes couples come from the US. They've already done their illegal Yeah. We just have the symbolic sermon, yes. And, you know, sometimes, to some couples, that's more Speaker 1 18:24 important, yeah, well, that's like it is here. Yeah, Speaker 2 18:27 it's really all down to the couple. And, Unknown Speaker 18:32 you know, covid, lots Speaker 2 18:35 of couples got married in the registry office. They went in and did the paperwork because of whatever their personal circumstances were at the time, but they still want that ceremony. They still want not just the party, but the ceremony aspect of it, absolutely which is to you know, declare your your vows in front of your people, your friends, your family. Sometimes it's those values that are more important to couple than than the legal paperwork, absolutely. So it's, it's whatever the couple, you know, find important, yeah, to them, I guess. And obviously other thing, Speaker 1 19:13 no, sorry, go on. Connie, I've just got so many questions. It's amazing. It's such a, you know, it's a thrilling subject. Speaker 2 19:19 It just depends on the couple, what, what they would like to do, Speaker 1 19:23 yeah, what it is they want to do. And obviously, there's, there's a lot of talk, I know what I was, oh, yeah, go on Speaker 2 19:28 the legal end of it. You know, sometimes with couples, I used to say when I just did the symbolic ceremonies and, and it is actually true, you register the birth in the in the hospital, when they come around to you, when you're in bed and you well, at least this the way we do it in Ireland. Yeah, if you've had your your birth in a hospital, as opposed to a home birth, the register will in the hospital, will come around, take all the details the birth is registered, and you get the birth certificate in the poster you send. Away for it, and then afterwards you have the ceremony, yep, um, whether that's, you know, a church, baptism in the in the in the church, or you have a ceremony at home or in a hotel or a venue. So that's kind of the same thing. It's the paperwork and the legal part are different. Speaker 1 20:18 Yeah, absolutely don't always have to be done on the same day? No, absolutely. And I think exactly like you say, in England, that is the case for all of us as celebrants, we don't do the legal bit. So, like, we create the ceremony that is that special, personal, memorable day, and then the legal side is just something like you say, it's kind of an extra paperwork appointment. But obviously there's a lot of talk here in the UK at the moment, about, will UK, well, not UK, sorry, will in celebrants in England be able to legally marry soon? And, you know, it's kind of the talking in Parliament, and all the MPs were writing to MPs and talking about, you know, giving us the rights to be able to do it. Do you think there were many changes, or were there more restrictions when you then started doing the legal side as well. Or was it exactly the same, but you just had the legal bit that you could add on to the ceremony as well. It was, it was the same. Yeah, that's good. That's really good. Speaker 2 21:13 It's the same. And the only thing I would say about the UK, if that's all everybody knows that's what they're just going to want a celebrant ceremony, yeah, and the more of them, the more celebrants there are doing those ceremonies, then that's what the norm Unknown Speaker 21:31 is. Yeah, absolutely. Speaker 2 21:35 You know, if there's a choice that some people then can do the legal end of it as well. Then I suppose that's where it becomes different. Speaker 1 21:45 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And did you find that things changed for you personally once you'd become a solemnizer, or did you find that actually, that was pretty much the same as well? Did it? Did it make much of a difference to you personally in your ceremonies? Unknown Speaker 21:59 Probably, it. Probably did. Speaker 2 22:03 It probably did. But at the same time, I'm not quite sure, because the more weddings you do, the more weddings you will Unknown Speaker 22:12 do. Yes, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 22:14 So I'm not sure whether it was that or whether it was the fact that I could do the legal ceremony, because the more weddings you know, I think you probably have the same I'm not even going to say it properly. Going to the going to a wedding is the making of another every year you have a ceremony, you will get it. There will be at least one couple there that will come up to you or call you or email you or contact you on social media to say I saw your ceremony, yeah, and we really love you to do ours, yeah? So that's the way half of my ceremonies come from, that sort of thing. So I don't know whether the fact that I can legally married couples that made that difference or not, or whether it was because I had performed a lot of ceremonies before that, Speaker 1 23:02 yeah, and people could see what you were doing. And I think that's really reassuring to hear, because one of my worries, you know, and concerns about if it's going to change here, and if we're then given, you know, the rights to be able to perform legal ceremonies, I was worried that there might be, then restrictions in place that we have to go to a bit like a registrar has restrictions. But I think by the sounds of it, if we can just follow suit and make sure we do it like you guys and, you know, like they do in Scotland, it might not need to. Unknown Speaker 23:30 What kind of restrictions are you thinking Speaker 1 23:32 of? Yeah, well, the things like the content, so the religious side of it, it's, it's, you know, so refreshing to hear that that can still be something, because I think I get quite a lot of couples who actually say, No, we actually want to make sure that we are, you know, giving a nod to our beliefs and honoring our heritage with our family, and whether that be, you know, religious heritage or things like that, and just things like, you know, a lot of our symbolic elements might involve alcohol, stuff like that. So, you know, other restrictions and things like that that I was kind of concerned about, but it's, it's reassuring to Speaker 2 24:03 there are restrictions as regards alcohol. Yeah, that's the downside, Unknown Speaker 24:09 because, because it's illegal Unknown Speaker 24:13 ceremony and it's illegal, just Speaker 2 24:17 can't think of the word. We're not meant to have alcohol within, within the space. Of course, consume alcohol within the space. Yeah? So everybody's to be the witnesses who will be all your friends and family, yeah, and your your witnesses who will sign the register, and your couple are meant to be 100% Unknown Speaker 24:39 Yeah, yeah. They shouldn't be under the influence. Unknown Speaker 24:42 Yeah, that. I mean, that makes sense, Speaker 2 24:44 yeah. So in theory, there's not meant to be any alcohol within the Yeah. Speaker 1 24:50 So I'll have to tell the couples, if we get to do the legal part, no more shots in the ceremonies. That's what we'll have. Unknown Speaker 24:58 You know, I think. Maybe you can have a shot. Speaker 2 25:01 But is there? Is there? One of the, one of the rituals does include a shot, Speaker 1 25:08 does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. So, okay, yeah. And things like, you know, some people might do a whiskey blending, or a cocktail blending, or, you know, they're all Unknown Speaker 25:20 that's good to know. Yeah, that's good to know. Oh, that's Unknown Speaker 25:22 not that all your guests would come in with all the Speaker 1 25:27 we can't be just having a good old drinks reception during the ceremony. No, that makes sense. No, that makes sense. No, that's that's really good. And you've given, you know, such a clear insight into the, you know, the differences and what a solemnizer is. So thank you for that, Connie. And would you say, Have you got any in your time as a celebrant? Are there any really standout ceremonies that you think, yeah, that was really special, and I'll remember that forever. Unknown Speaker 25:53 Um, well, Laura, you always remember your first? Unknown Speaker 25:56 Yeah, of course. Yeah. Speaker 2 26:01 Yeah. My first is a standout. Yeah, it's definitely a standout. I can remember every little bit of it, yeah, because it was my first, for lots of reasons, the bride was recommended by my best friend. Her her husband was an engineer. We had that that much in common, and to this day, they don't know it was my first. Unknown Speaker 26:40 Yeah, I certainly didn't want to advertise it. Unknown Speaker 26:45 My daughter came with me that day, and Speaker 2 26:50 I can still remember saying to her, I should be nervous. I should be nervous. Yeah, what's going on? I just, I just walked in there, yeah. And honestly, it felt like the most natural thing in the world that day, and I remember every second of it, and of course, going to the wedding of the making of another I have met them so many times, yeah, yeah. Because I've, I've, I've married a few of their friends and I. They have two children now I keep up with them. Instagram is fantastic, because once you say, I now pronounce your husband and wife. It's not the end, yeah, don't just walk away, yeah. It's only afterwards. I normally send a friend request, Speaker 1 27:41 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Speaker 2 27:46 I don't really want, sometimes I think they, they, you know, send a friend request to me, or, you know, follow me. But I don't always follow back, because I don't want to be, you know, I don't want to know too much Unknown Speaker 27:58 before, yeah, get married, yeah, yeah. And Speaker 2 28:01 then afterwards, I want to, I say to them, this isn't the end. I want to start, Speaker 1 28:07 yeah, because you've been big life event together, yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 28:11 I just wanted to, I don't want it to end, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So it's beautiful. And then my last one, I suppose that that's also in my mind. Yeah, these two beautiful, gorgeous men, one was from the US, the other was from Ukraine. They came to Ireland to get married in this beautiful castle. It was magical on so many levels. Um, just beautiful, beautiful. Oh, gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. That's the thing. No, I will stay in touch with them. Yeah, I know I will, because we went through a lot together on all our calls, and it was just gorgeous. So yeah, they're the two that just Speaker 1 28:57 popped into my mind. Yeah, yeah, they're the two. That's the thing, that they're all memorable for different reasons, aren't they? And I think that's the thing you could, you could talk about every ceremony, and there's so many things that you take away from it, but that's so nice. And like you say that first one is so special. And I think you're, you're not alone in the fact that you don't want to, you know, tell people it's your first ceremony. I think we hear that a lot of like, you know, new celebrants. They're like, Oh, I don't want to say but actually, I think sometimes a couple find it really, you know, a privilege that they're the first one that you've done. But I think, like you say, tell them afterwards when it's all gone really well, so that they don't worry. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And you've done all the training, so you've got every right to be there. Everyone has to start somewhere. But it's also, like you say, I know it can be nerve wracking to share that information with a couple. You don't want to, you know, them to worry for any reason. So I think, yeah, it's nice to tell them afterwards. Oh, by the way, that was my first one. Oh, so, so, so lovely. So then what would you say? Then what about some of the challenges? Obviously, we've spoken about some of the things that you really love about being a celebrant, but what about some of the challenges? And how do you kind of overcome? And then. Speaker 2 30:04 So I guess the traveling sometimes can be a challenge in winter time, because, you know, you, you probably met up with a couple, maybe two years before that. Yeah, it can be a it can be a challenge, but but for me, I can overcome that because of the stage I am in my life. Yeah, moment, you know, my my children are all grown up. My husband, although he works incredibly long hours, he loves golf that might be far away. Obviously, you have plenty of notice. Yeah, venue, yeah, at least a year in advance. I can put that into the diary and say, you know, Park, how about we spend a night there, if it's in Cork or carry, and you go playing golf that day while I'm off so many and we make and that's just a slight challenge. I can turn around to my best. Yeah. Another challenge, I suppose, is I find it very difficult to say to couples, I can't do your ceremony if they want me to, especially, yeah, if I've met them before, if they're if they're you know, if they know me, if they're friends and family, but if you've already got a wedding booked in, that's very Speaker 1 31:24 difficult. Yeah, that is really hard. No, exactly. The other Speaker 2 31:29 challenge, I suppose, is the hours are very unsociable. Speaker 1 31:35 Yes, yeah, yeah, it's all the weekends. It's all the evenings, and Unknown Speaker 31:40 it's not just for 40 minutes. Unknown Speaker 31:43 No, exactly. No, Speaker 2 31:46 you've got the whole morning getting into the zone, yeah? Titivating is like, and every day that goes by, it takes longer to get ready. Unknown Speaker 31:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally feel you. Speaker 2 32:01 I like to look my best, which means a long time getting ready. Yeah, it takes time. And then you, you try, and I'm not even talking about the lead up to it, yeah, but the weddings, it's generally on a Friday, on a Saturday, Sunday. Weddings here in Ireland are very popular, Unknown Speaker 32:18 really, really then, Speaker 2 32:21 yeah, yeah. And Monday can be popular, yeah. So the also, the unsociable hours are difficult, and your evenings are taken up with your discovery calls, your catch up calls with the couple, yeah, leading up to it. So they're all in the evening, yeah, absolutely, yeah. So that is the challenge, yeah, yeah. The only thing I would say is that you know all these times well in advance so they they're not just sprung Speaker 1 32:54 on, yeah? Sorry, yeah, exactly, exactly you can plan around, yeah, yeah. You just have to learn that pattern of your work life being a bit different, yeah. And I think that's the thing, if you're a Monday to Friday, nine to five kind of person, this isn't the career for you, because it isn't, it isn't those hours. And obviously when people are planning already, they're doing it around side their own jobs. So we need to fit around those hours too. Speaker 2 33:23 The challenge is to fit it in with with your partner and their working hours. Yeah, Unknown Speaker 33:28 absolutely. And, Speaker 1 33:30 yeah, finding that juggle, yeah, totally. And I think like you were saying about the getting ready, yeah, that's the thing, like, when you were saying about the getting ready and stuff, and it's like, don't get me wrong, I love doing hair and makeup and putting a nice, you know, dress on or whatever. But actually, I love nothing more than on a Sunday, no makeup, hair shoved on top of my head, comfy's on all day because you think you've been, you know, having that, having that real full it's part of, you know, the uniform really being fully dressed up for the wedding. So it's quite nice to have the opposite Speaker 2 34:01 I find after the ceremony, when I get home, bang, yeah, that's when it hits Unknown Speaker 34:07 me, yeah, exhaustion. Speaker 2 34:10 It just it every single time it hits me like a bus, yeah? Because it's all that emotion, yeah, that you like to keep us and they're all happy emotions. But sometimes it's not all happy, because unfortunately, for lots of couples, they're at that stage in their life when their parents are ill. They're not there at all. Yeah, maybe they've passed away, or the family dynamic is that their their parents, aren't there. There's there's so many things that that make it very difficult for couples on their wedding day. Yeah, and, and that emotion passes on to us as well, because we know not everybody in the in you know their guest list, know the full story. But, but we probably know a lot of us, yeah, as they've told us, Unknown Speaker 35:03 yeah, yeah. That can be quite Speaker 2 35:07 hard to keep together, and you have to do it. And then when you get home, you let go, yeah, absolutely. That day goes on for a long time. It starts when you get up in the morning, obviously, and you're starting to get ready, and you're, you're, you know, you're trying to think about about your ceremony and getting the right zone, yeah, Unknown Speaker 35:27 but, but it does go on for a long time into the evening. Speaker 1 35:30 Yeah, it does. And I think it's that adrenaline as well, isn't it? We've always got that adrenaline getting us through. So then afterwards, it's like a bit of a come down. Yeah, it is. It's, I totally get that come down after, yeah, absolutely. And so finally, Connie, oh, sorry. Go Speaker 2 35:47 on. I was gonna say, if you've got a wedding the next day, Unknown Speaker 35:50 yeah, yeah, that Speaker 2 35:54 you have to be very careful. Yeah, that you you don't let it last all Speaker 1 35:58 in No, exactly, although that's sometimes the thing, when you've got, like, days that are, you know, consecutive ceremonies, actually, you're like, okay, the come downs here. But I'm like, Oh, actually, I've got another one tomorrow, so I'll be all right, I'll get through it. So yeah, it's, yeah, it's a roller coaster of emotions. It really is, isn't it? Yeah. But it's gorgeous. It is. It definitely is. So finally, then Connie, the question that I ask every guest, what is your one piece of advice for anyone that's listening to this and they're considering becoming a celebrant, what would you say? Speaker 2 36:29 Oh, well, if they're considering it, they they must know something about it. Yeah, they've been to a ceremony, you know, that's been celebrant LED or, you know, it didn't just pop out of nowhere. So they've seen it, and they've, they've had a think about it in the first place. And if they have, I would say, go for it. Yeah, you know there, there is education involved. You know, training, but education is no burden. You go for it. You know, whether you use it or not, you will still learn life skills within that training that will, that will help you along a path, whatever path you take. So I would say to go for it. And you know, if it's not the right time as regards where you are in life with your family, rearing your family, what age they are, it won't be a burden to do that training, yeah, I have to say celebrants that have small children, and they juggle all that. I don't know how they do it, but they make it but they do make it work, because lots of the celebrants that I have trained with have young families, but they make it work, yes, and I suppose that is the good thing about celebrancy is you do know when your dates are for your ceremonies, well in advance. They don't just happen next week. You do know well in advance, so you can make those arrangements. Speaker 1 37:58 Yeah, plan things around. Speaker 2 38:01 So the other thing I would say is that if you do go to the training, yeah, and take on, you know, embrace that training, find your tribe, because you will need a tribe to lean on. You can't do it on your own. No, it's not completely independent. You need a tribe with you, yeah? Because, you know you learn all the time from other celebrants. Yeah, because you can't go in with just a cookie cutter and do all ceremonies the same. Exactly work, No, exactly a couple might come to you and ask you to do this, that or the other. The first thing I'll do is I talk to my my tribe, yeah, and run that by them. And what do you think? Because some some questions can be tricky, yeah, some requests Unknown Speaker 38:55 can be tricky. Absolutely, yeah. Speaker 2 38:57 And we don't know the answers to everything. But so we do need to run by and, you know, I can't run everything by my family, because they won't know either. Yeah. So you do need others to learn from and to lean on. And we get sick, we need somebody to replace, yeah, yeah. But you have somebody Yeah, that you know, will have your back, yeah, that you can depend on, yeah, absolutely. And that'll take a number of people, not just one Speaker 1 39:27 piece, yeah, but get your tribe. No, it's great. You did you more than answered. It was brilliant. Connie, no. Thank you, honestly. Thank you so much for coming on, Connie. And if people want to find out more about you, if they want to, you know, check you out on socials or your website or anything. Where can they find you? Speaker 2 39:44 Hitched by Connie on Instagram. My favorite place? Yeah, Unknown Speaker 39:48 absolutely me too. I love it. Unknown Speaker 39:52 I love it for keeping in touch with my couples. Speaker 2 39:56 I know there's a downside, but I'm, I'm a little bit do. On the vision when I, when I go on to Instagram, yeah, it's just wedding, Unknown Speaker 40:03 yeah, yes. Speaker 2 40:06 And, you know, a picture tells 1000 words. So you know, when I'm chatting to my couples, I just say, you'll go on to my Instagram and you'll see you do get an idea of what your personality is like, yeah? Not, not all of it, because, obviously, you prepare for some of it. And I don't do lives. I come out a rash. I did. I just can't. I just can't. Enough said, but yeah, Instagram hitched by Connie. My website is hitched by connie.ie the Irish website. I'm on Facebook as well, but I'm not great with Speaker 1 40:44 Facebook. Yeah, that's okay. We'll go for Instagram or your website. That sounds good. Well, thank you so so much, Connie, and good luck for the rest of the year, the rest of your weddings. And thank you again for coming on Speaker 2 40:54 and you too. And I'm also on the celebrant directory, of course. Speaker 1 40:58 Oh, perfect. Yeah, yeah, of course, we can find you there Speaker 2 41:01 too, Laura, it was pleasure. No, you'll talk about myself. Speaker 1 41:05 No, you were great. You were great. Connie, honestly, you were absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much. Speaker 2 41:10 Okay, thank you, Laura, it was a pleasure, and thank you for choosing me to talk about celebrancy in Ireland. I. Transcribed by https://otter.ai