Latest / Common Mystics / Detours Ep. 62: Krampus! Santa's Evil Twin

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Detours Ep. 62: Krampus! Santa's Evil Twin · Common Mystics

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Hi, it's Jennifer James from the Common Mystics podcast. Please enjoy this reposting of our detours episode from December 2022. You can find us on our Patreon page at patreon.com commonmystics for exclusive bonus content, including episode detours, monthly discussions on mystical subjects, and regular zoom calls with with our amazing tier 4 mentorship group. Happy holidays to you all, and may all your wishes come true.
• 0:34
  Speaker B: Welcome to Detours Holiday Extravaganza 2022. I'm Jill.
• 0:41
  Speaker A: I'm Jennifer.
• 0:42
  Speaker B: I am super excited.
• 0:43
  Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
• 0:45
  Speaker B: Let's do this. This is the best thing on earth.
• 0:48
  Speaker A: I have never heard of Krampus until you brought it up, and now I love it. It's my new favorite thing.
• 0:56
  Speaker B: It needs to happen again. I know I put it on our Facebook page. But, like, honestly, this needs to happen, and we need to do it, and I don't care. I think we should do it multiple times a year, if not monthly. Let's tell everyone what we're talking about.
• 1:08
  Speaker A: Okay. Krampus is a figure of Central and Eastern European folklore who, during the season leading up to Christmas time or the Advent season, scares children who have misbehaved. So he's kind of a Santa's evil twin, if you will.
• 1:27
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 1:28
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 1:28
  Speaker B: But when you say scarce scares children, can you please describe Krampus for me? Like, what does he look like?
• 1:35
  Speaker A: We're just gonna go right there. Okay. Yeah.
• 1:37
  Speaker B: Just because we need a visual.
• 1:38
  Speaker A: Okay, so he appears in many variations. Jill. Because he is mythical. Right. But most caricatures of Krampus include the following physical characteristics. He is hairy. He is usually brown or black.
• 1:56
  Speaker B: Mm.
• 1:57
  Speaker A: He has cloven hooves.
• 2:00
  Speaker B: Oh, I don't know about that. You lost me there.
• 2:03
  Speaker A: And the horns of a goat.
• 2:06
  Speaker B: That can be hot.
• 2:07
  Speaker A: He. He looks like what I imagine a demon would look like. He also has a long, pointed tongue that lulls out of his face, and he has fangs.
• 2:19
  Speaker B: He has a Gene Simmons tongue. Yeah. Okay, so I can do the tongue and the horns. I'm gonna say no to the hooves. Yeah, that's Krampus, and he's half goat and half man.
• 2:32
  Speaker A: Okay, I'll go with that. I'll go with that. Yeah.
• 2:35
  Speaker B: There's this gray picture I'm gonna post on our Facebook group. Look at this picture. Can you see it?
• 2:40
  Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
• 2:44
  Speaker B: Okay, so tell me who this little lover's. Tell me what he's doing with himself.
• 2:50
  Speaker A: Looking all hot with horns and many parts of Central and eastern Europe. So I'm talking about Austria, Bavaria, Croatia, Hungary, Slovakia, Slovenia, and those areas. The tradition of Krampus is that he carries chains and he thrashes his chains around for dramatic effect. That's scary. That's.
• 3:15
  Speaker B: Yes, he does. Yes, he does.
• 3:17
  Speaker A: That's a flex. Yes, it is. And sometimes he's got bells on his chains so you can hear him coming. Oh, I like sleigh bells. Not sleigh bells. They're like Krampus bells. Different. They're not happy bells.
• 3:30
  Speaker B: Okay, different, different. If you're Krampus, they're happy bells. You're like, I'm a town.
• 3:34
  Speaker A: True, true. Also, there's the idea that he carries a root. Have you ever heard of a root?
• 3:41
  Speaker B: No. Spell it.
• 3:42
  Speaker A: R U, T, E. Okay.
• 3:44
  Speaker B: What is that?
• 3:45
  Speaker A: It's a. It's a bundle of branches. And he carries the branches around to beat children with.
• 3:54
  Speaker B: Oh, my God. I saw. I saw that Gwyneth Paltrow was, like, selling a bunch of branches on, like, goop for, like, $25. Is that it?
• 4:03
  Speaker A: I'm not familiar. Ask her. Let's ask Gwyneth next time we see her.
• 4:06
  Speaker B: Okay. Because that's a great idea. Just a little pricey because you can just take your shoe off.
• 4:11
  Speaker A: Chains. He carries the root, the bundle of sticks that for. For beating children, of course.
• 4:17
  Speaker B: Love it.
• 4:18
  Speaker A: Yes. Now, in some representations, instead of the branches, he has a whip. I mean, you know, tomato, tomato, whatever works for you. Whatever's gonna scare your children.
• 4:28
  Speaker B: The whip has a longer arm, so you. Like. If you. If they're running away, you can get them, like, in the back. But I feel like it's dangerous. I don't. I wouldn't be good with a whip. Like, I would be whipping myself. Yeah.
• 4:38
  Speaker A: I would accidentally whip myself as well.
• 4:40
  Speaker B: Like, I would whip my eyes.
• 4:42
  Speaker A: It takes some skill, a whip. But here's the best part. Oh, my God. He often appears with a sack or basket strapped to his back. And this is for carting off the evil children. For drowning.
• 4:59
  Speaker B: Oh.
• 4:59
  Speaker A: Or eating. Or simply transporting them to hell.
• 5:04
  Speaker B: Okay, okay. Stop right now. There was a line. I was in. I was really in. I beat the children. Beat the children. You can't eat the children.
• 5:15
  Speaker A: They still do this.
• 5:16
  Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 5:18
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 5:19
  Speaker B: There was definitely a line crossed just now. And I would say, you know, beat them. Yes. Beat them with whatever means you can beat them with. But drowning them, that's a little far.
• 5:29
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 5:29
  Speaker B: Eating them, that's. That's like, next level. Transporting to hell. I would say fair, depending on the crime.
• 5:36
  Speaker A: Did Okay. I grew up with, with grandma. We lived in her house when I was little. And I remember her telling me about Baba Yaga. Did grandma ever tell you about Baba Yaga?
• 5:48
  Speaker B: Not that my conscious mind will allow me to remember.
• 5:52
  Speaker A: Can I just tell you? I remember being like 3 years old and me like having a fit because I wanted something. I don't remember what I wanted, but I wanted something. She. She sat me on her lap and I can just see her right now, her face really close to me. And she brings up her finger and she touches her lips like, shh. You know, like that, that pantomime. And she says, if you don't stop crying, Baba Yaga is going to come and take you away. And I was like, I. I remember.
• 6:21
  Speaker B: Looking at her and I know who.
• 6:24
  Speaker A: Now and I stop crying and I'm like, what is Bob? And she's like, baba Yaga is a witch and she will come and she will take you away. And in my three year old mind, I was like, I'm 99. You're bullshitting me, right? Right now, Grandma. Because that is not congruous with the way I understand the world of work. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I've been a brat plenty of times and no one has ever showed up. But she was so, like, serious, like she was. And I didn't want to call her bluff, you know what I mean? I thought, okay, if I'm wrong, this is a big problem, you know what I mean? Like, this is big.
• 7:05
  Speaker B: Now remember, this is coming from a woman who like had the devil in a room. And she was like, you know what I'm saying? So keep that in mind. I wouldn't, Yeah, I wouldn't call bullshit.
• 7:15
  Speaker A: But my point is, I did stop crying. And she made me pause. And I thought about it for a while, you know, and I considered, you know, is she lying? I don't want to risk it. I better stop crying. This could be a problem, you know what I'm saying? But.
• 7:27
  Speaker B: Right, but pros and cons, where does she live? Where is the.
• 7:30
  Speaker A: Grandma came from Poland. And Baba Yaga is an eastern European tradition, like folklore, you know, person. But I. We were in Chicago in the 1970s when this conversation occurred. And I had never seen Baba Yaga. I had never heard of that. I had never, like, there, there were. People were dressing up like Baba Yaga. I never saw a picture of Baba Yaga. So I. That's why I questioned her.
• 7:52
  Speaker B: I have to look up. I have to look up Baba Yaga. Hold On.
• 7:55
  Speaker A: But my point is that Krampus people dress up like Krampus, Jill. Like, it's part of, like, the mentality. So, like, when you say, like, you, you better be good or Kramp going to cart you off to hell and. Or drown you. Like you as a child in this part of the world, you have a. A, a picture in your mind of what that looks like, and it's terrifying.
• 8:20
  Speaker B: It's a true statement.
• 8:21
  Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? Did you find Baba Yaga?
• 8:24
  Speaker B: I. No, I can't spell it for me.
• 8:25
  Speaker A: Oh, God, I don't know how to spell it. It's like B, a B, a Yaga, Y, a G, A. Did you find a picture of Baba Yaga?
• 8:36
  Speaker B: Oh. Oh, that's terrifying.
• 8:41
  Speaker A: But I had never seen it. Oh, no, that does look terrifying. But you see my point.
• 8:46
  Speaker B: That's terrifying. You guys. Okay, that's going on our Facebook page.
• 8:49
  Speaker A: Like, that wasn't part of our. My cultural experience. I had never seen it, so it wasn't too scary. But this, like, people dress up like, like Krampus, Jill.
• 8:59
  Speaker B: Well, the thing is about Krampus, like, let's be fair, he served a purpose. Like, he had a role. Because nowadays we have, like, the elf on the shelf. Like. No, that's kitten Mittens. That's kitten Mittens, Jen. We need a good old Krampus to scare the hell out of these little bastards that be running around in department stores.
• 9:17
  Speaker A: There is a Krampus tradition that kind of correlates a little bit to the elf on the shelf.
• 9:21
  Speaker B: Tell me.
• 9:22
  Speaker A: And it's by leaving the root a bundle of sticks in your house.
• 9:26
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 9:27
  Speaker A: And it's not like Santa's watching, like, the elf on a shelf. It's like you're gonna get your ass kicked by a demon if you keep your bullshit up. Like, that's.
• 9:36
  Speaker B: Yes, yes. It's like the fire hydrant of ass kicking. Like, it's here if we need it.
• 9:41
  Speaker A: Right?
• 9:42
  Speaker B: So, like, if, If. If Krampus is coming through and there needs to be an ass beating, he has the hydrant right here to beat your ass with it.
• 9:50
  Speaker A: But he actually, like, works along with St. Nick or, or Santa in some traditions. Do you want to talk about that?
• 9:57
  Speaker B: Yeah, tell me.
• 9:58
  Speaker A: No, you want me to talk about it? Okay.
• 10:00
  Speaker B: Yeah. So.
• 10:02
  Speaker A: So that would be. No. So you know, you know the feast of St. Nicholas that occurs in parts of Europe and the United States on December 6th. Okay. And the 5th, the feast of St. Nicholas is December. Oh. It says here on December 6th. So and the preceding December 5th, it is Krampus night. So it's separated in some parts of the world. Like the whole Krampus thing.
• 10:26
  Speaker B: Okay, I know what's going on here.
• 10:28
  Speaker A: The modern, the modern interpretation of Santa is he'll leave you coal or he'll leave you a gift, right? But Santa's not freaking terrifying. He's not going to drown you or eat you. He's just going to leave you coal, okay.
• 10:40
  Speaker B: Or drag you to hell. You forgot the dragon to hell.
• 10:42
  Speaker A: So how, how, how motivating is that to be good? I mean, you know, or.
• 10:46
  Speaker B: Well, you don't want coal. But I guess back in the day, Cole could have been useful. I mean, it's a shitty. It's like if you got clothes for Christmas, you're like, I guess.
• 10:53
  Speaker A: But so on December 5, that would be Krampus night. And that wicked hairy devil would appear on the streets and sometimes he would be with St. Nick. So the two of them together. And you would either like get a gift, like, you know, some fruit or something nice, or you would.
• 11:15
  Speaker B: My anxiety is through the roof right now. I would be like, come on, Santa, come on.
• 11:21
  Speaker A: Or you would suffer the fate of Krampus, which apparently has a variety of methods of punishing you. Including like, like we've already said beating, drowning.
• 11:31
  Speaker B: What if you were just a chubby child and Krampus just wanted to eat? He was like, she juicy. She juicy. She gonna get it.
• 11:37
  Speaker A: I mean, get it. I don't know what to tell you. So Krampus would assist Santa Claus on the night of December 5th, and Santa would reward the well behaved children and the badly behavior behaved ones would get their punishment from Krampus. Holy hell.
• 11:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, it has to happen. Yeah, I want to dress up as Krampus, but I don't want to tell anybody. I just want to like, I want to like, go to a mall dressed as Krampus. Can we please do this? Can we do this and film it next year? Next year? Yeah, I'm gonna dress up as Krampus.
• 12:08
  Speaker A: Can I dress up as Santa Claus? And the two of us will go around. No, we both have to be Krampuses. All right, well, we'll work out the details.
• 12:15
  Speaker B: Does Krampus have elves? Because you can be a Krampus owl.
• 12:20
  Speaker A: We.
• 12:21
  Speaker B: And you could like sit bad kids on my. Like, wouldn't be funny if we dressed up and went to a mall and we're like right next to Santa. Like Santa in the mall with the kids that like, we're behind Santa with Their hooves and shit and be like. Oh, you go cry. You cried. Okay, bring him here.
• 12:37
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 12:39
  Speaker B: I had a basket on my back. Like a woven basket. Oh, Jennifer, we have to do this. Do you think we'll get kicked out of the mall?
• 12:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, I think we would. I think we would.
• 12:47
  Speaker B: We need to do this. Can we please do this? For the love of God, let's do it.
• 12:51
  Speaker A: Okay. So, Jill.
• 12:53
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 12:54
  Speaker A: Modern day. Okay.
• 12:56
  Speaker B: Modern's happening.
• 12:57
  Speaker A: Day. They are still in some parts of the world, specifically in Alpine towns or towns in the Alps In. In Europe, they have what's called Krampus Lof. Or the Krampus Krampus Run.
• 13:16
  Speaker B: Some heroes don't wear capes. Jennifer, tell me. Tell me about this glorious run.
• 13:22
  Speaker A: The Krampus run is a traditional parade. Yes. Where young men in particular participate. Dressed as Krampus.
• 13:32
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 13:33
  Speaker A: Dressed as. And they attempt to scare the audience with their antics. Their antics, of course, being whipping, beating, scaring people. Yes.
• 13:43
  Speaker B: I love everything you're saying right now. This makes me happy inside.
• 13:46
  Speaker A: These parades occur annually still in. In small towns. In. In most. In most Alpine towns.
• 13:53
  Speaker B: I love it.
• 13:54
  Speaker A: Jill, you're gonna love this part even more.
• 13:55
  Speaker B: Tell me everything.
• 13:56
  Speaker A: It is customary during this festival to offer the Krampus schnapps. Yes.
• 14:04
  Speaker B: Which is, of course, a. Yes.
• 14:06
  Speaker A: A fruit brandy.
• 14:07
  Speaker B: Fuel for fun. It's a fuel for fun. That's what that is. You're. If you're gonna be a Krampus, you're gonna be drinking schnapps. That's just what happens. Fill me up.
• 14:17
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, is what it sounds like.
• 14:21
  Speaker B: I love everything.
• 14:22
  Speaker A: Like a fight is gonna break out.
• 14:23
  Speaker B: This is how I know that we are from Eastern Europe. Yeah. This is how I know that these are my people. Because this is like my idea of heaven. So you're gonna get me drunk. Next step. So I'm gonna be dressed as a goat. Check. Drunk. Check. Now what do we do?
• 14:40
  Speaker A: Give you a whip and sticks. Okay.
• 14:43
  Speaker B: I would do sticks. Whip a little dangerous.
• 14:45
  Speaker A: Okay. So, Jill, every year there's some controversy around this tradition.
• 14:50
  Speaker B: What?
• 14:51
  Speaker A: What do you mean every year? Every year?
• 14:55
  Speaker B: Every year there's some controversy.
• 14:57
  Speaker A: Arguments apparently break out. Arguments between. How. How can that happen? The men running around dressed as Krampus, drunk on schnapps. And the. Because occasionally the spectators take revenge for the whippings and attack. And attack the Krampuses. There are fights. There are. Sure. Wikipedia describes your head.
• 15:26
  Speaker B: It's good if you have that kind of power. If You're a Krampus with a root and you're junk. It's gonna go to a head. You may get, like, a couple beatings in that go too far.
• 15:34
  Speaker A: In 2013, after several Krampus runs.
• 15:37
  Speaker B: 2013, that's awesome.
• 15:39
  Speaker A: After several Kramp runs in the Austrian state of East Tyrol, a total of eight people were injured with broken bones and were admitted to the hospital, and over 60 other patients were treated on an outpatient basement basis.
• 15:55
  Speaker B: Telling you Europeans go hard running with the bulls going, Krampus rum is insane.
• 16:03
  Speaker A: That is a huge, huge. I don't even know what to call that.
• 16:08
  Speaker B: So how can we get it? How can we get this to be a national United States holiday? Like, tell me, tell me the steps. We have to go to. To petition. Who do I run?
• 16:17
  Speaker A: God, I. I love that. That little element of fear.
• 16:21
  Speaker B: Little.
• 16:22
  Speaker A: I think that's a healthy thing. Drag to hell for children. I'm not talking about the campus runs. Like, that's a problem. Drag to hell.
• 16:31
  Speaker B: Dragged to hell. Dragged out. Like, that's an 11. Like, if you don't stop your bullshit, you're going to hell. Like, tomorrow. Like, it's December 4th, and possibly tomorrow you're going to hell.
• 16:45
  Speaker A: Oh, my God, I love it. Like, for real, I love it. And.
• 16:49
  Speaker B: Or you're gonna be drowned or eaten.
• 16:52
  Speaker A: Yeah. We have got to start putting together our Krampus outfits for next year. We'll have to get that together.
• 16:58
  Speaker B: I'm telling you. Please promise me.
• 17:00
  Speaker A: What about if we did a 5K? We can start the Krampus 5K, like, at the beginning, like, on December 5th.
• 17:06
  Speaker B: What?
• 17:06
  Speaker A: I think this is a good idea.
• 17:08
  Speaker B: Jennifer.
• 17:09
  Speaker A: What?
• 17:09
  Speaker B: Jennifer, unless you're gonna say snaps and whip.
• 17:12
  Speaker A: Snaps.
• 17:13
  Speaker B: That's not schnapps and whip next. We're not doing that.
• 17:17
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 17:18
  Speaker B: Okay, but. But this is what we're gonna do. And you have to promise me this, okay? Please. Because this really needs to happen. And I will do it. I will. I'm telling you. I'm pledging to our patrons right now that this is going to be happening next year.
• 17:29
  Speaker A: What are you going to do?
• 17:30
  Speaker B: I want you with Jenny B. And with cameras, and I'm gonna dress up as Krampus and I'm gonna stand next to a Santa in the mall. Like, behind the Santa in the mall. That's what's gonna happen. And I just want you to film because I think that'll be funny. And I want to see, like, how long it's gonna take before you get around to ask me that's.
• 17:52
  Speaker A: What I'm to ask me to leave.
• 17:54
  Speaker B: And then I can explain myself, be like, no, no, no, it's cool. I'm Krampus.
• 17:57
  Speaker A: Krampus.
• 17:59
  Speaker B: I'll just eat the cries to hell.
• 18:01
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:01
  Speaker B: I can either eat the dying, the. The child now that won't stop crying on Santa's lap, or I have a basket where I'm collecting kids for hell. That's what I want to hear. Can we do that? Promise?
• 18:11
  Speaker A: Yeah, we'll look. We'll get that on the calendar.
• 18:13
  Speaker B: Promise. I will. I will do that. I will do that. And we will put it on our YouTube station. That's what needs to happen.
• 18:19
  Speaker A: This was fun. Krampus. Yeah. So we definitely have to bring that back in one way or another. This is the most awesome thing I've ever heard.
• 18:28
  Speaker B: I just want to walk around as Krampus. Like, don't you?
• 18:32
  Speaker A: No.
• 18:33
  Speaker B: Yes, I do. I do so bad.
• 18:35
  Speaker A: Oh, my God.
• 18:36
  Speaker B: I can like with you. Public space.
• 18:37
  Speaker A: I'll keep you on a leash. So I'll stand next to you. Oh, yeah, exactly. So I can hold you back.
• 18:45
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 18:46
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 18:46
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 18:47
  Speaker A: That's. That's the plan. Love it.
• 18:48
  Speaker B: And Jenny will record it.
• 18:50
  Speaker A: All right.
• 18:51
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 18:51
  Speaker A: Should we say happy holidays to all of our patrons? We love you so much. Thank you for listening.
• 18:56
  Speaker B: Honestly, you guys, this year we couldn't have done this without you. This year. We love you so much. See you in the next year. Thank you so for supporting us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good night.
• 19:08
  Speaker A: Good night.