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Do narcissists really care about how they look? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about narcissist and body dysmorphia.
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  Do narcissists have a problem with how they look?
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  If you new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Oh yeah, welcome back. Y'all.
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  Yeah, I don't know what it is, but that intro just gives me
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  hype. I don't.
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  I I I love it. It seems like some hero music,
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  like here comes here comes the narcissist.
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  Hero flying in to save the day. I appreciate y'all being here
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  though. Y'all.
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  So narcissist and body dysmorphia, y'all body
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  dysmorphia. Narcissistic people.
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  A lot of narcissists struggle with how they view themselves,
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  you know, how they view themselves, how they look in the
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  mirror and things like that. So if y'all are uncertain what
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  body dysmorphia is, it is a mental health condition where a
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  person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their
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  appearance. Yes, even the narcissistic
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  people talk to people that you, that you deal with on a regular
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  basis that always are looking at themselves in the mirror and
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  just like, oh, I look so good, look at my arms.
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  Oh well, look at my, you know, I'm a little weird.
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  My dread, see, everything is perfect on me.
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  They are super insecure people who struggle about it this more
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  view anyway, because they're so soon with their appearances.
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  They are looking for flaws because they know that they are
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  flawed people. They want to exude the aura of
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  bodily perfection, of body acceptance and whatnot, or
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  facial acceptance or being OK with how I look.
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  But they're really super insecure people, you know what I
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  mean? Then like, they noticed their
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  little flaws that other people might not even notice.
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  Like they they draw attention to things that people might not
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  notice. It's just kind of like, you
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  know, body dysmorphia is kind of like the the Streisand effect.
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  If you don't know what the Streisand effect is.
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  It's like when Barbra Streisand a few years ago, somebody, some
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  people were like, they were doing like a study on the they
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  was doing a study about erosion on that beach.
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  And I think California, right, like how the soil, the sand was
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  getting eroded by the water. And they filmed her house
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  because it was on the beach and she lost.
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  She she sued them because they filmed their house.
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  Nobody knew about the project until she sued them and it made
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  it, it made the national news. So now more people, more eyes
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  were on it. Like she brought attention to
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  something that had that didn't have attention to it
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  inadvertently. You know, you shine more eyes on
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  it. And that's what a lot of
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  narcissistic people do. They have the Streisand,
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  Streisand effect with themselves.
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  They point. They point your eyes toward
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  their towards door, towards their flaws by acting like the
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  flaws don't exist. You know, by trying to cover
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  them up. Like you know, you might not
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  even notice a narcissistic person is going bald.
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  And so instead of just shaving it off or whatever, just dealing
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  with and just living their life, they'll try to cover it up like
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  that. You instead.
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  I got a bald spot right here. Instead of just being normal and
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  doing being normal and living my life normally, I try to.
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  I try to cover it up. And so now you notice like, what
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  do you, what's going on with your hair?
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  Oh, nothing. You see, I bought attention to
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  it. You don't know my stomach is
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  sticking out, but I, you know, I bought attention to it.
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  Like narcissistic people struggle with how they look.
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  And they some of them they, yeah, even if they even if they
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  you think that they love themselves.
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  And this what some people don't you.
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  A lot of people struggle with putting this together right
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  here. Even if you think that
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  narcissist toxic person loves themselves, they really struggle
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  with how they look. They focus so much so they focus
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  so much on how they look because they are insecure by how they
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  look. They don't want you to see their
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  flaws. Narcissistic people hate being
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  flawed. They hate it.
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  We we hate it. I hate it.
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  I will look. I will never see myself the way
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  that other people see me and I struggle with that.
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  Even when people point on point on my good qualities, I struggle
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  with that right there. You know, I struggle with when
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  people point to my good qualities or like my shoulders
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  or something like that. I don't think my shoulders look
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  that good. I don't think my arms look that
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  good. I don't think my legs look like
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  it's always something nitpicking about my body.
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  I I think I feel fat. You don't.
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  You have you you 1% body fat. I know people, 1% body fat
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  doesn't exist, right? Well, it might exist, but I you
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  I feel so fat. I feel so bloated.
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  Whatever. But they look like the the
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  picture of, you know, like a a Greek God or goddess.
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  You know, they're they look chiseled, but they feel fat.
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  They don't see themselves how you see them, but they want you
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  to see that. They want to exude this image
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  that you see me this way and don't look.
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  If you if you give them a negative comment about their
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  body or how they look, be prepared for, be prepared for a
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  lot of backlash. It might not be outright, you
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  know, outright overt backlash. It might be the covert backlash
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  where they just ignore you or give you the silent treatment.
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  They might not yell and scream at you and poke fun at you or
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  just say something negative, negative right back to you.
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  Some of them will just do covert type stuff.
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  They'll get, they'll all started, they'll go give you the
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  silent treatment, they'll be dismissive towards you.
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  They'll be super passive aggressive.
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  You know, they'll get, yeah, they'll just like they might,
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  some of them might ghost you without a without a reasoning
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  behind it, they might absolutely ghost you and disappear on you.
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  That's a possibility as well. You know, that happens a lot of
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  times in these spaces as well, where they will absolutely
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  disappear on you just because they feel like it now they feel
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  like disappearing. Boof, Casper, they they become
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  Casper the ghost on you, you know?
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  But like I said, some of them will do, will be overtly angry
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  as hell at you. Or they'll yell, they'll scream,
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  they'll kick, they'll punch, They'll do all kinds of wildness
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  because they're angry with you, because they're upset with you,
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  because now you hurt them and then you hurt them.
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  So now they feel the need to hurt you, like they feel the
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  need to match it. They want to match your energy
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  for they want to match your energy, for lack of a better
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  word, you know, lack of a better term, lack of a better phrase.
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  They want to match your energy. So if you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, that's consistently and it's like,
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  there's nothing wrong with going to the gym, Yeah, I go to the
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  gym. You know, a lot of people go to
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  the gym. A lot of people work out, a lot
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  of people take care of themselves.
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  But it gets to that point where, like you see a narcissist that
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  struggles with body dysmorphia or how they actually look.
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  They become obsessive with it, you know, they become super
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  obsessive about their appearance and whatnot because they're
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  trying to mask their flaws. Like a lot of narcissists have
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  this body dysmorphia, but they also, they have external body
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  dysmorphia, but they have internal turmoil as well, like
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  they look. We even internally we've we
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  don't think, we don't like the way we look internally.
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  We struggle with how we look and feel internally, but you know,
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  we what we can work on. It's hard to work on the
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  internal if you're a narcissist, but you know we can work on the
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  external. Let me keep my hair dead, let me
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  get my face beat, let me go to the gym every single I can.
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  Work on the external to cover up the internal struggle, to cut,
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  cover up the internal mess that is going on, to cover up a lot
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  of this stuff, you know, and this happens.
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  I'm telling, I'm just telling y'all this happens quite a bit.
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  This is part of it right here. This is why I'm telling people
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  it transitions into being, you know it, it can be, it can be
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  very toxic, you know, deal with narcissists, deal with, talk to
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  people. It happens all the time.
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  So if you, you know if you struggle with if you deal with
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  the narcissist or you dealt with one that is struggle with body
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  dysmorphia or how they look or how they feel internally.
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  You know just drop it like a little weight lifting and emoji
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  in the conversation. I'm just curious.
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  I, I, I like to see, you know I'm like I'm just curious to see
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  because like not all narcissists will get, will get diagnosed
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  with having body dysmorphic disorder or something like that.
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  But a lot of them have signs and symptoms of it because they
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  struggle with their appearance. They will like I said, they will
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  never ever see themselves how you see them, how other people
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  view them. It's just like almost
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  impossible, you know, And they. But narcissists want to live up
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  to this image. They want to live up to it.
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  So they create this false image of themselves.
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  They create this, you know, they want people to think a certain
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  way. They want people to think a
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  certain type of way about them. So they behave a certain type of
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  way. They they try to look a certain
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  type of way. If I can look good externally,
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  you don't know what I what's going on inside.
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  If I can put a smile on my face externally like this, you see
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  I'm smiling at me. I'm smiling.
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  It means I'm happy. I can mask the inside, you know
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  what I mean? So this happens quite a bit when
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  you're dealing with toxic, narcissistic people.
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  The struggle is real y'all and you can't like no matter how
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  many compliments you can give them.
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  Like the closer. Let me tell you this, the closer
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  you are to a narcissist, the less your comments, the less
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  weight your comments have. Your compliments have.
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  The less weight you're good. You know, the way you talk the
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  the less weight, the good stuff you say about them as like it's
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  so it's weighted so little and like the closer you are the less
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  they give you. So as far as this is concerned
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  right here, you know, and this keeps happening, this happens
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  quite a bit is that when you give a narcissist a compliment,
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  it it, it almost seem like it doesn't mean anything to them.
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  But if somebody else, a stranger compliments the exact same thing
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  that you did. They act all giddy and just out
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  just outrageously crazy like, oh you hey hey babe.
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  Like if you if you say to them, hey babe, I love that shirt you
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  have on. They're like it's not only a
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  blue shirt. I got this blue shirt from the
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  from the trash heap from the goodwill down the street.
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  Like it's nothing special about this shirt.
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  Thanks, I guess. But if somebody else in public
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  were to comment on that shirt like, hey, I like that blue
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  shirt. It's a very nice color.
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  Blue Wow, really. You like this shirt.
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  You see, it feels better coming from other people outside the
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  circle because it becomes like this arbitrary type of thing.
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  Like your your compliments are supposed to be here.
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  They're hidden. They're supposed to be here.
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  Your your compliments are supposed to be a a constant in
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  my life. So I should they're they're
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  going to feel a certain type of way.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissist, they person that has
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  this struggles with how struggles with their image
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  struggles with how they look, this is going to be part of
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  your, this is going to be part of your life dynamic, right?
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  Your life space that you deal with, that you go through.
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  You know they're they're always going to take out their flaws.
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  The flaws that they notice, they're going to mask with stuff
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  on the outside, you know, but on the inside it's going to be
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  terrible. The inside looks a little rough.
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  The inside is going to be tough to deal with in these
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  circumstances, in these situations, you know?
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  But anyway, y'all tell y'all make it to the end of my video.
• 10:57
  You made it this far. If you haven't already, make
• 11:00
  sure to check out the Self Love Journal on Amazon.
• 11:03
  Lee Hammock. I love me Self Love Journal and
• 11:05
  I'm out. Thank you so much for making it
• 11:11
  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 11:13
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 11:15
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 11:17
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 11:20
  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 11:22
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 11:24
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon so check that
• 11:28
  out. Thank you.
• 11:28
  I will see you in the next video.
• 11:30
  Peace.