Latest / This Is My Circus / 🎙️ Episode 63: Interview with Tracy Chisolm | Going Viral on TikTok...Then getting hacked | Being a Influencer | Parenting | Real Life Loss & Rebuilding

Transcript

🎙️ Episode 63: Interview with Tracy Chisolm | Going Viral on TikTok...Then getting hacked | Being a Influencer | Parenting | Real Life Loss & Rebuilding · This Is My Circus

• 0:00
  I'm Stephanie.
• 0:00
  I'm Meredith.
• 0:01
  And welcome to this is my circus.
• 0:03
  so we have Tracy Chisholm with us.
• 0:06
  Yeah, the lovely fabulous.
• 0:08
  she is joining us from lower South Carolina and just going to chat.
• 0:15
  I'm getting there.
• 0:17
  Are you Bob from accounting?
• 0:18
  Yeah, it still says that Bob from accounting.
• 0:26
  What?
• 0:27
  Long story short, my mom is a CEO of a corporation.
• 0:31
  She has been for 30, a lot of years.
• 0:33
  She's not dead.
• 0:33
  I don't know.
• 0:34
  Anyway, that's a whole other story.
• 0:35
  But, she made me, she's like, you're on the board.
• 0:38
  I'm like, mom, I'm not on the board anymore than I'm certified to be an attorney in South Carolina.
• 0:42
  Like, knock it off.
• 0:44
  She's like, I just need you to enter the Zoom meeting and I need you to be serious.
• 0:49
  That entered Bob from accounting.
• 0:51
  I did not realize all 87 of her employees plus worldwide, corporations were on the phone.
• 0:57
  That's when my mother said, that's my asshole daughter.
• 1:00
  That's her.
• 1:02
  I said, thanks.
• 1:03
  Oh my gosh.
• 1:04
  Bob from accounting.
• 1:05
  That's great.
• 1:06
  Didn't know it was still there, but that's honestly, I don't do zoom very often.
• 1:09
  So how are you guys doing good?
• 1:11
  So let me introduce Steph and Tracy.
• 1:14
  Hi, Okay, go for it.
• 1:15
  I'm listening.
• 1:16
  So what are you eating?
• 1:18
  broccoli with chicken It looks good.
• 1:20
  It does look good.
• 1:21
  I have a problem with food as I got, I'm going to be 50 this year.
• 1:25
  So food has just like this weird texture and taste and I'm just getting weirder by the day, but whatever.
• 1:30
  I am too.
• 1:31
  It's good to know that that's normal.
• 1:32
  Yeah.
• 1:33
  Oh, wait until you start sweating in the middle of the night and you get up and like there's a pool of sweat.
• 1:38
  Oh yeah.
• 1:38
  I'm there.
• 1:39
  Brian will be like, are you okay?
• 1:40
  And I'm like, no, right.
• 1:42
  I'm not okay.
• 1:44
  Devin asked me the other day, he's like, isn't it cold where you are?
• 1:47
  I said, go fuck yourself.
• 1:50
  Here's the thing.
• 1:51
  So after you, you know, that passes and you're not hot, then you're drenched in sweat and the fans on you and then you get cold.
• 1:58
  So like seven minutes for like seven minutes, I'm chilly.
• 2:01
  And then it starts all over again.
• 2:03
  Now, I don't know if you guys, I had a total radical hysterectomy because I had a denomiosis, which is the opposite of endometriosis.
• 2:10
  I heard that.
• 2:12
  Bitch, you need to go get your hysterectomy, get it over and done with.
• 2:16
  Yeah, I haven't done that yet, but I have that.
• 2:18
  Your lower back will no longer be painful.
• 2:22
  Are you kidding?
• 2:23
  It will hurt because you're old.
• 2:24
  It will no longer hurt because you're of menstrual issues.
• 2:29
  Good to know.
• 2:30
  So there you go.
• 2:31
  Note to self, to schedule, hysterectomy.
• 2:34
  But not having a period for four years has been the greatest thing ever and people are like, oh my god, are you on your monthly cycle?
• 2:40
  I've been on my monthly cycle for 50 years.
• 2:42
  I'm good.
• 2:42
  Take it or leave it.
• 2:43
  I don't really care.
• 2:44
  You have to do like hormone replacement stuff then?
• 2:46
  Oh, I tried that.
• 2:47
  That was bullshit.
• 2:48
  That didn't do anything.
• 2:51
  Do you do anything now though, since you had surgery?
• 2:53
  Like, do you have to do any kind of hormones now?
• 2:57
  Like, I'm on hormones now for I was, and they were causing me more harm than they were good.
• 3:02
  Okay.
• 3:03
  Because 891 days ago, my best friend passed away, and I stopped taking all of that shit.
• 3:09
  Which is why I started working out, which is how I lost 80 pounds, which is how we're here today.
• 3:13
  Okay.
• 3:14
  I didn't lose weight because I was like, you know what?
• 3:16
  I'm gonna be a fit model.
• 3:17
  No, bitch.
• 3:18
  I stopped eating because this bitch died.
• 3:19
  Like you fucked up my whole plan for life.
• 3:23
  That's how that all happened.
• 3:24
  But the best thing about the hysterectomy is you don't have your plumbing anymore.
• 3:28
  You don't have to worry about that.
• 3:30
  Yeah.
• 3:30
  The night sweats are still as bad, but you also save money because you don't have to go to the OBGYN anymore.
• 3:36
  Yeah.
• 3:36
  There's nothing for them to look at.
• 3:37
  I didn't know that.
• 3:38
  And my mother is the one that told me, she's like, so why are you scheduling an OBGYN appointment?
• 3:42
  I said, mom, I need to make sure I'm okay.
• 3:43
  She said, with what plumbing?
• 3:45
  I don't know.
• 3:48
  I did not know that about your best friend.
• 3:49
  I saw like the countdown on your social where you were counting like how many days?
• 3:54
  I didn't know that that's i'm sorry about that.
• 3:56
  Yeah, he had her name was sunshine nobert She died of the most rare cancer, which is only her she had to find bile duct cancer I didn't even know we had bile ducts until she gets on the phone and she's like, do you know where they are?
• 4:08
  I was like No, but somewhere in the G.
• 4:10
  R.
• 4:11
  Right?
• 4:11
  Yes.
• 4:13
  In this, this area, in this area, she knew when she was throwing up blood that this was not a good sign.
• 4:18
  I was like, why are you throwing up blood?
• 4:20
  She's like, last time I checked, I'm not a doctor, but I will go find out.
• 4:23
  Yeah.
• 4:23
  And then a year later, I just say that is the best name ever.
• 4:27
  Sunshine.
• 4:28
  Yes.
• 4:29
  Sunshine Elizabeth Nobert, but she doesn't spell it S U N, it's S O N.
• 4:33
  And the best part of it is that I'm still very close with her son, her daughter, and her husband, Nobert, so, I mean, I'm still very close with all of them, so it makes it It makes it worth it.
• 4:44
  Yeah.
• 4:45
  It makes it worth it.
• 4:46
  But that's what the countdown is for, if that's what You're counting things that she's been gone that you've been on your healthy journey and 80 pounds.
• 4:54
  That's amazing.
• 4:55
  Yeah.
• 4:56
  Well, you never realize how heavy you are until you see a picture of yourself.
• 5:01
  You ask your oldest son, never ask your oldest.
• 5:05
  You only have one.
• 5:06
  So you can only, my mother only has me.
• 5:08
  She can only ask me and I would.
• 5:11
  Devin, I said, do you see the graduation picture for miles?
• 5:15
  And she was like, yeah.
• 5:16
  And I said, I have more chins than a Chinese phone book.
• 5:18
  Was anybody going to tell me that?
• 5:19
  And he said, well, I was, but I wanted to live to see 20.
• 5:24
  So I figured at the time, it probably wasn't a good idea.
• 5:27
  And then I really wanted to see 21 because you were taking me to Vegas.
• 5:30
  And then time just passed on.
• 5:32
  So yeah, you needed something about that.
• 5:35
  Brian and I actually had that conversation the other day about like, you know, it's January, right?
• 5:39
  We're all having these conversations about resolutions or well, some of us are, or trying to be better and change habits and stuff.
• 5:45
  And I was like, for yourself, right?
• 5:47
  Okay.
• 5:48
  Okay.
• 5:48
  You get the same.
• 5:49
  I'll own that.
• 5:51
  but I was like, I just want to look better in pictures.
• 5:53
  So I don't look like all, you know, A big fat slob mess.
• 5:58
  so we're not that well, we're working.
• 6:01
  You are beautiful.
• 6:01
  Not being a big fat slob mess.
• 6:04
  You are.
• 6:04
  Well, you know, I used to call myself that too.
• 6:07
  And here's 1 thing that I have learned.
• 6:10
  Okay, you are what you believe you are.
• 6:13
  And the more you keep saying that, that's what you're manifesting.
• 6:16
  So that has to stop.
• 6:17
  It's your narrative.
• 6:18
  Right.
• 6:18
  I get that.
• 6:19
  And I do it all the time.
• 6:20
  I do it all the time.
• 6:21
  I'll look in the mirror and I see Tracy from 15 years ago, because so much is different now.
• 6:26
  I mean, we left Lake Wylie and like everything is, is different.
• 6:29
  Tracy, you have two boys.
• 6:31
  I do.
• 6:31
  Ages 24 and 20.
• 6:33
  I was going to say two men.
• 6:36
  Boys.
• 6:36
  We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll agree to disagree on where we are on the men's deck.
• 6:40
  Oh yeah.
• 6:40
  They're, they'll always be our babies.
• 6:42
  With us each having one, one boy, they'll always be our babies.
• 6:45
  Well, I can tell you that it definitely gets stranger as they get older.
• 6:49
  Oh, yeah.
• 6:49
  Well, we're, we're entering that, that realm.
• 6:52
  Wait until they call you to ask you, why do I have to pay registration every year for my car?
• 6:57
  That's stupid.
• 6:59
  Yeah.
• 6:59
  I mean, does my social security card expire?
• 7:02
  And if so, who do I call?
• 7:04
  Oh my gosh.
• 7:06
  That is hilarious.
• 7:07
  I paid for college for what again?
• 7:10
  Right.
• 7:11
  Right.
• 7:12
  So your oldest son is Devin and he is living in Florida right now?
• 7:18
  Yep.
• 7:18
  In Fort Lauderdale, doing his thing, living his best life and getting to be on private yachts and, Oh bummer, can't come up this weekend mom, cause I have to go to the Bahamas on my heartbreak.
• 7:28
  Right.
• 7:28
  So Devin went to, where did he go to college?
• 7:32
  West Virginia.
• 7:33
  West Virginia on football scholarship, right?
• 7:35
  Yep.
• 7:36
  And he was like, there's something for me, right?
• 7:39
  Yeah, junior year, second semester, right before senior year, right before senior year.
• 7:45
  Why, why bother?
• 7:46
  I mean, three years, what have I really taken away from this?
• 7:50
  That would be nothing.
• 7:51
  But he is, like you said, living his best life now and just doing what makes him happy and Jealous.
• 7:58
  So is it like the Bravo show about working on the yacht?
• 8:04
  That's what he's doing.
• 8:04
  That is exactly what he's doing.
• 8:07
  He gets to live on the boat.
• 8:08
  I mean, this kid lives on the boat.
• 8:10
  I said, what do you do about rent?
• 8:11
  He's like, I live on a boat.
• 8:14
  Yeah.
• 8:14
  My mother corrected him and said you live on a mega yacht.
• 8:17
  You don't live on a boat.
• 8:19
  It's not like a dinghy from Gilligan's Island.
• 8:21
  Grow up.
• 8:22
  What a freaking experience though.
• 8:25
  Can you go somewhere?
• 8:26
  Are you just gonna?
• 8:28
  Oh, sorry.
• 8:29
  That's why.
• 8:30
  Is it Miles?
• 8:31
  Can I have my stand back?
• 8:33
  Thank you.
• 8:34
  Hi Miles.
• 8:35
  Ohio.
• 8:35
  Do you see Miss Meredith?
• 8:36
  Can you say hello?
• 8:38
  He said no.
• 8:40
  Rude.
• 8:40
  He doesn't know me.
• 8:41
  It's okay.
• 8:42
  Even though we cheered for him on the sidelines like he was a god, it's okay.
• 8:46
  said, I don't know what to say.
• 8:48
  I think he was number 80.
• 8:51
  Yes.
• 8:52
  See, tell them I'm still a fan.
• 8:54
  I mean, I, I never thought those days would go by as fast as they, they didn't go by fast when we were in them.
• 9:00
  But now that I'm not in them and I see like you and Yasmin posting all this stuff of these children that you're pretending are yours.
• 9:05
  It's crazy to me because they never think they're going to grow up.
• 9:09
  And then they do like man, child.
• 9:12
  He just graduated college.
• 9:13
  I don't even know.
• 9:14
  I was going to say what's Miles up to?
• 9:16
  Finished a USC a year early.
• 9:19
  decided not to play football, decided that just wasn't his jam.
• 9:23
  He's got a YouTube channel, which he loves doing.
• 9:27
  And what is that?
• 9:27
  Yeah, tell us.
• 9:29
  He plays video games, and then other people play video games with him, and then they all talk a bunch of smack to each other.
• 9:35
  Nice.
• 9:35
  And then they post it, and other people watch them watching other people play video games.
• 9:41
  Yep, sounds exactly like what Jackson would watch.
• 9:43
  What's his YouTube channel?
• 9:46
  Drippy, drippy water, drippy master.
• 9:49
  I will have to look it up.
• 9:50
  I have no idea, drippy water.
• 9:52
  I don't because I can hear him.
• 9:53
  So that's why I don't subscribe to the channel.
• 9:54
  I can hear him.
• 9:55
  I don't, I don't want to subscribe.
• 9:56
  I hear it already.
• 9:58
  Mom, what's the other subscriber?
• 10:01
  Or he'll come downstairs and he'll say, mom, I'm streaming right now.
• 10:03
  I can't talk.
• 10:04
  I don't care.
• 10:05
  I'm like, go live your life.
• 10:06
  Go.
• 10:06
  But he came and interrupted you while you were in a very important call just now.
• 10:10
  Do you think that phases him one bit?
• 10:13
  Not at all.
• 10:14
  Because he'll look at me, he'll be like, are you doing another TikTok?
• 10:16
  And if I am, it's bam.
• 10:18
  So what do I care?
• 10:19
  Right, right.
• 10:21
  So getting it back.
• 10:22
  We are getting it back.
• 10:23
  Tick tock.
• 10:24
  We'll be back.
• 10:25
  I have money and take like, I have like, I didn't withdraw yesterday because I thought we would have today to withdraw the message when you try to get on now and it says it's temporarily down, but I think meta bought into them or something because meta now has a little thoughts bubble.
• 10:41
  Like, yes, I just added.
• 10:42
  Yeah, it does.
• 10:43
  I have a bigger conspiracy with that.
• 10:46
  I have a bigger conspiracy.
• 10:47
  I'll make it short and sweet.
• 10:48
  What I think is that everybody is waiting for Trump to get into office.
• 10:52
  China is now putting out Red Note.
• 10:54
  You can't get on Lemon 8 either because duh, it's Powered by TikTok and shit.
• 10:59
  CapCut.
• 10:59
  Yeah, I'm devastated about CapCut.
• 11:02
  I had the best video on CapCut yesterday, and my little nephew was like, is that the Kendrick Lamar, the bimboop?
• 11:07
  I said, yes it is, and I've got your little brother in every position possible.
• 11:11
  Before I pressed it, I was like, oh, I have it till tomorrow.
• 11:13
  You don't.
• 11:14
  No.
• 11:14
  You didn't.
• 11:16
  But what I think is they're trying to get Red Note to see how many people are going to jump on that bandwagon.
• 11:20
  I did.
• 11:20
  I don't speak Mandarin.
• 11:21
  Miles does.
• 11:23
  Miles does.
• 11:24
  He speaks Mandarin?
• 11:25
  He took Mandarin.
• 11:26
  Okay.
• 11:27
  That is crazy.
• 11:28
  I can't.
• 11:29
  I tried learning Spanish.
• 11:30
  I can't do it.
• 11:31
  Right.
• 11:31
  I had to look up what orange was in Spanish yesterday and I was like, do you want the fruit or the color?
• 11:35
  And I was like, I don't know, just orange.
• 11:40
  No, not in Espanol.
• 11:42
  They're different.
• 11:43
  They are different.
• 11:44
  As my eldest son says, we're from Los Angeles.
• 11:47
  So we speak Spanish.
• 11:48
  It's fine.
• 11:48
  I'm like, we don't speak any Spanish.
• 11:50
  He's like, we speak Spanglish.
• 11:51
  We like pointed things like the door.
• 11:53
  Oh.
• 11:54
  Why do you add an O onto everything, Devin?
• 11:56
  He's like, that's Spanish.
• 11:58
  Or an L in front of it.
• 12:00
  Oh yeah.
• 12:00
  That'll happen.
• 12:01
  Yeah.
• 12:02
  Because he'll look at a bag of Tostitos and see like, it's not a Mexican company.
• 12:06
  I said, it's Tostitos.
• 12:07
  He said it should be L Tostitos.
• 12:09
  I'm like, West Virginia was, was not the place for you.
• 12:13
  It wasn't the place for him.
• 12:14
  So is Miles, just chilling on his YouTube channels?
• 12:17
  He got some other things going on.
• 12:19
  He's also working full time at Goodyear with his dad.
• 12:23
  He hates it.
• 12:25
  But he's also, he's also 20 who, whoever wants to work a job at 20 years old.
• 12:30
  I mean, I tried to stay in school as long as I possibly could.
• 12:34
  As long as my mother was putting the bills.
• 12:35
  He's 47, not me.
• 12:39
  But he likes, I mean, he likes what he's doing.
• 12:41
  He likes making money.
• 12:42
  And I guess I would too, living under my parents roof and not really worrying about much to begin with.
• 12:47
  Yeah.
• 12:47
  Yeah.
• 12:47
  Those were the days, man, you did not appreciate it.
• 12:50
  No, you need to sleep.
• 12:53
  You could recover from anything like that.
• 12:55
  Anything.
• 12:56
  The only piece of advice I have with that is never tell your parent that because I made the mistake of calling my mother and saying, you know what?
• 13:04
  She's like, oh, I'm waiting for this.
• 13:05
  You know, I sounded like you the other day and she's like, I know.
• 13:12
  She's like, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
• 13:14
  Understand that.
• 13:15
  Great.
• 13:16
  Great.
• 13:17
  I said, wait, did I get the worst part of you or the best part of you?
• 13:20
  She said, I guess time will tell Logan.
• 13:22
  Oh my goodness.
• 13:23
  That's right.
• 13:24
  That's right.
• 13:25
  So when you start sounding like her, then that's when you have to reel it back.
• 13:28
  Yeah, I do.
• 13:29
  And I look like my mom, so it's okay where I'm just rolling with it now.
• 13:32
  Same.
• 13:33
  okay.
• 13:33
  So Tracy, I have a question.
• 13:35
  You mentioned earlier that you weren't able to practice law in South Carolina.
• 13:39
  Was that just a random comment or?
• 13:42
  No, I'm an attorney in California.
• 13:43
  I passed the bar.
• 13:45
  Yeah.
• 13:45
  I thought so, but I was like, so what?
• 13:48
  No, not here.
• 13:50
  Okay.
• 13:50
  Did you practice law in California when you guys lived there?
• 13:53
  Nope.
• 13:54
  Took the bar exam just to prove a point.
• 13:57
  Check.
• 13:57
  Point taken.
• 13:58
  Yeah, that was it.
• 14:00
  There was nothing more, nothing less.
• 14:01
  Never did anything that had to do with anything.
• 14:03
  Someone said I couldn't and I said, I can and I did and then I was shocked that I did because I really didn't learn anything That's not what I did.
• 14:11
  It was just like photographic memory.
• 14:13
  I was like, oh, yeah, I wish I know I'm not worse.
• 14:16
  Oh, no See, you don't wish because what people don't understand about people with photographic memory is we also have ocd and adhd So we've got too many things that are going on in our brains So we have like someone will knock on the door and you'll be like, oh that's a tuesday at three o'clock I was just dropping off your mail, ma'am.
• 14:34
  Have a nice day.
• 14:36
  Cool.
• 14:38
  Somebody said to me in the grocery store that someone said, Oh, you have braces.
• 14:41
  I said, the milk is usually on aisle two.
• 14:44
  Devin's like, nobody asked you about milk.
• 14:47
  My guy, what is wrong with you?
• 14:50
  He said, and speaking of what do you have next week at two and what does milk have to do with it?
• 14:55
  Yeah.
• 14:56
  Well, it's funny that you say that cause, I was listening to our last week's pod.
• 15:01
  Episode and Brian and I were on the way somewhere and he was listening with and he was like, why do you keep skipping ahead?
• 15:07
  Why are you skipping around?
• 15:07
  I said I don't that's just how our brains think like we do not just follow any kind of a we just Our squirrels are like wrestling and then playing tag.
• 15:16
  It's crazy.
• 15:18
  Yeah, people say do you want some quiet time where?
• 15:21
  It's not in here.
• 15:22
  Me alone in the house?
• 15:23
  That's not quiet time.
• 15:24
  No, no.
• 15:25
  I have HR going on 24 7 up here saying, don't say that, Tracy, don't say that.
• 15:29
  You're going to go to jail for that.
• 15:30
  Don't do that.
• 15:31
  Let's think about this.
• 15:31
  You know what?
• 15:32
  Just do it.
• 15:33
  What's the worst that could happen?
• 15:34
  Right.
• 15:34
  And then all my personalities are like arguing with each other and trying to, and someone will say to me, like, are you zoning out?
• 15:42
  Don't I will.
• 15:43
  I'm in the middle of four corporate meetings right now, Bob from accounting right now.
• 15:46
  Yep.
• 15:47
  He's got some things going on in here.
• 15:49
  And I fired so many people on a regular basis and they keep showing back up.
• 15:54
  Um, so you had, speaking of tick tock, you had a huge following on the tick tock.
• 16:00
  Both channels.
• 16:00
  I actually did really well because of an anesthesia video I put up at the end of 2020.
• 16:07
  Hilarious.
• 16:07
  I just rewatched that.
• 16:08
  Yeah.
• 16:08
  That was your son, right?
• 16:09
  Yeah, that's my oldest son.
• 16:11
  Uh, first of all, he didn't talk to me for almost a month.
• 16:14
  My son is not on social media at all.
• 16:16
  He does not.
• 16:19
  And so I said, okay, I'm going to erase the channel.
• 16:23
  And then his, and then Miles said to him, you know, mom can monetize off this.
• 16:26
  Right.
• 16:27
  Devin's like, well, how much are we talking here?
• 16:30
  Do I get a cut?
• 16:31
  Right.
• 16:32
  And I said, whatever I make off that video, I'll give to you.
• 16:35
  Four days later it hit 90 million views.
• 16:37
  I was like, holy shh, this worked.
• 16:40
  Yeah.
• 16:40
  Yeah.
• 16:41
  And then I started posting other things and people are like, yeah, we don't really like you very much like that.
• 16:44
  And then lip sync started happening and smaller videos started happening that you could monetize off of.
• 16:52
  And then I got hacked in August, which was horrible.
• 16:56
  Um, apparently I reached out to everybody, all 84, 000 followers.
• 17:01
  And I asked all of them for 70 for 70.
• 17:04
  Does no one know me better than that?
• 17:06
  If I'm not asking for millions, it's not me.
• 17:09
  I promise you that if I'm not asking for things that are completely unattainable, 70.
• 17:15
  Yeah.
• 17:16
  Yeah.
• 17:16
  So I had to go.
• 17:17
  So I said, I have one of two choices, either wallow in it, try and build Facebook, which we all know is, or build a new channel from August to now I'm at 10.
• 17:30
  6, 000 followers.
• 17:31
  So it was because I started taking products that nobody was interested in.
• 17:37
  Example.
• 17:37
  This one came today.
• 17:38
  Um, this is the better alt Himalayan shalajit shalajit.
• 17:44
  I don't know how to say that.
• 17:45
  Honey sticks.
• 17:47
  Organic honey with fulvic acid, which does not sound sexy at all whatsoever.
• 17:51
  Fulvic acid does not sound like a good idea.
• 17:54
  Is it pills or is it like the liquid stuff?
• 17:56
  Take a gander.
• 17:57
  I'm only asking because I saw a girl do like a video on something similar, but they were packaged in a different box and it was like these honey sticks.
• 18:08
  I think that's what these are if I could When she took it, she was like ready to die like she was, what is it for?
• 18:15
  Hey, I don't wanna die.
• 18:16
  So it was not today.
• 18:19
  her facial expression was just like, yeah.
• 18:21
  And see that's, that's what I do on there.
• 18:23
  Because you can, so I don't know if you're part of the TikTok affiliate or creator.
• 18:29
  We're, we're lowly on the tick tock scale.
• 18:32
  We're like the, the last one right there.
• 18:36
  I honestly just started a personal tick tock page like what, like two months ago, only just to help promote the podcast and.
• 18:44
  Yeah, where we're getting an unboxing video right now, you've got six of the better all made by mountains.
• 18:51
  I highly doubt the mountains made this made by these.
• 18:55
  I doubt that.
• 18:55
  And made by mountains again, made by.
• 18:57
  Okay, we're not going to keep reading it.
• 18:59
  All right.
• 18:59
  I'm gonna regret this.
• 19:00
  I will be honest because most things on TikTok, I have never tried.
• 19:04
  I say that I have, but I haven't.
• 19:05
  And if I don't like it, those are the reviews I like doing the best because I, I owe you nothing.
• 19:10
  Yeah.
• 19:10
  I owe you nothing.
• 19:11
  If it's a piece of crap, I'm going to tell you the one thing that was not a piece.
• 19:14
  Okay.
• 19:14
  Wait a minute.
• 19:16
  Your hair just popped out.
• 19:23
  Was it the liquid?
• 19:25
  That's a, that you should never have that kind of feeling in your mouth ever.
• 19:29
  Oh.
• 19:30
  Okay, that's it.
• 19:31
  That's it.
• 19:32
  That was a no.
• 19:34
  I'll explain exactly what and that color.
• 19:36
  I do not need to ingest that at all.
• 19:38
  Oh, just shake them.
• 19:40
  Did I do something?
• 19:41
  Whatever.
• 19:42
  Anyway, But, you know, the best thing about TikTok was getting a following and the only way that I started doing that was when I started documenting and that's when she died and it was the weirdest thing and I, and I do say it lightly now, it's been more than two years and I understand that everything happens for a purpose, I'm not sitting there like, oh my god, boohoo.
• 20:00
  But I also realized how unhealthy I was living and through TikTok, I got accountability.
• 20:04
  Yeah.
• 20:05
  Yeah.
• 20:05
  I live out here by myself.
• 20:07
  Like I, I don't have my friends that are here like to go do stuff with, I'm not friends with, I mean like you and Yasmin, that's pretty much it that I still talk to.
• 20:16
  I don't really talk to anybody else and my friends back home are all running from fires right now.
• 20:20
  So they just have better shit to do with their time, obviously, right.
• 20:25
  Finding something that would be good for me and keeping me accountable and also letting me be myself.
• 20:31
  If you don't like it, you don't have to watch it.
• 20:32
  You can go up, down, side to side, whatever makes your heart happy.
• 20:35
  I don't care at the end of the day.
• 20:36
  Well, I will say that your, social medias are very authentic to what I know you as.
• 20:42
  Do you want to know one of my first memories of you?
• 20:44
  This is great.
• 20:45
  We were sitting at a football, we were sitting at a football game.
• 20:48
  Um, Miles and Isaiah were playing.
• 20:51
  So, you know, several years, several years ago.
• 20:54
  And I think it started to rain, or it had been raining and we were talking about now, your husband is black and your children and your well, just for the people here and your children are, your children are biracial and you were talking about how white people smelled like below me.
• 21:15
  Do you remember this?
• 21:17
  That's it.
• 21:22
  Is that what Jamie says?
• 21:27
  When he, when we first met, long story short, it's never a long story short.
• 21:31
  I don't know.
• 21:31
  We have people who say that we met on a Friday and he moved in with me that Sunday, 25 years later, here we are.
• 21:38
  You really took some time to get to know each other.
• 21:39
  Got it.
• 21:40
  Really took some time.
• 21:40
  The only reason I was excited at that time, I think I was what, 24.
• 21:44
  Yeah.
• 21:44
  We've been here 25, 26 years, somewhere in there.
• 21:46
  The only reason I was excited is because for some reason I heard that his last name started with a C and my maiden name started with a C I'm like, perfect.
• 21:53
  My mom will never know because I will not screw up any of my stationery.
• 21:57
  Good job.
• 21:58
  Good job.
• 22:00
  25 years later.
• 22:02
  And I remember just one time I was pregnant and he was like, did you know white people smell like baloney?
• 22:09
  No, I smell like vanilla.
• 22:10
  What are you talking about?
• 22:12
  Because I use vanilla spray and he's like, white people don't smell like vanilla because they're white.
• 22:16
  I'm like, no, I should have been a red flag back then.
• 22:21
  You would have thought that I would have figured something out back then.
• 22:23
  White people smell like baloney.
• 22:25
  I cannot believe that's my first memory of me.
• 22:27
  It is when, when it rains, white people smell like baloney.
• 22:30
  Also, whenever like, Brian is.
• 22:32
  terrible at names.
• 22:34
  And so whenever I'm like saying something about Tracy or whatever, I'm like, you know, the white people smell like baloney lady.
• 22:39
  And he's like, Oh, okay.
• 22:40
  Yeah.
• 22:43
  That's how you are in his head.
• 22:46
  I need to get that as a sticker.
• 22:47
  Oh, I always see in the mama drama group that they Say that white people smell like wet dog.
• 22:57
  Yes, that too.
• 22:58
  So on this Facebook page that Steph and I are both in, it's called Mama Drama, and it's everything you can imagine and more.
• 23:04
  Um, but yeah, there's a lot of white people smell like wet dogs.
• 23:08
  Yeah, it's great.
• 23:11
  It's not giving you any food.
• 23:12
  Get a life.
• 23:14
  You're a dog.
• 23:15
  Go somewhere.
• 23:17
  Rex just lifted his head up.
• 23:18
  Like, what?
• 23:18
  Yeah, he's like, yeah, broccoli.
• 23:21
  You don't even like to hear the best video of a lady and she had a piece of chicken and broccoli.
• 23:27
  She had a blindfold on her dog, and she was letting the dog sniff the chicken and then put in the broccoli in its mouth.
• 23:34
  And it happened like, 3 times and the dog was like.
• 23:37
  It was like growling at the broccoli, growling at it.
• 23:43
  That's funny.
• 23:45
  My favorite one is the human hands with the dog.
• 23:48
  Oh yeah.
• 23:49
  And you're feeding the dog all these things.
• 23:50
  We tried that with Jackson.
• 23:51
  He just looked at me like, uh, no, I want all of the food.
• 23:54
  We're not playing that game.
• 23:55
  Get the gross sounds away from me.
• 23:57
  Have a nice day.
• 23:58
  Well, Rex, I swear he was a stray and He followed me home and I kept him forever, but, um, he, Rex is black too.
• 24:14
  Last time I checked.
• 24:17
  At least he doesn't smell like baloney.
• 24:19
  So we're good.
• 24:20
  That's why he loves me.
• 24:24
  Um, but he, I swear, was like part of witness protection for the first two years that I had him and would not let me take a picture.
• 24:32
  Like, I would have to sneak pictures of him.
• 24:34
  If he saw a camera come out, like, he was out.
• 24:36
  Oh, he turned his head.
• 24:39
  He did not want him.
• 24:40
  I should say that.
• 24:41
  Devin is Devin's part of witness protection.
• 24:43
  That's basically what he acts like.
• 24:45
  If I have a camera, he's like, did you take a picture of me?
• 24:47
  Look, Simple Favor, you're my son.
• 24:49
  I can take a picture of you.
• 24:51
  I don't owe you any, you owe me.
• 24:52
  You're welcome.
• 24:53
  But what about with him not being on social media and everything, what if he is like, really an FBI agent or something?
• 25:01
  Well, it could be like, I would love to think that that is more of my son than him being on a boat somewhere.
• 25:10
  But my mom threw him under the bus last week.
• 25:12
  So I thought he was doing like super spy, like crazy work or something.
• 25:17
  Right.
• 25:17
  My mom's like, no, I just left him there.
• 25:19
  He's doing great.
• 25:20
  I said, you were in Florida.
• 25:22
  She was like, yeah.
• 25:23
  I said, why didn't you say anything?
• 25:24
  She said, you never asked.
• 25:26
  Better than that.
• 25:26
  No, I've got better than that.
• 25:28
  I don't like that angle at all.
• 25:29
  Okay.
• 25:30
  Better than that.
• 25:31
  I asked Devin a couple of months ago, I said, Hey, I was going to come down and see you for the weekend.
• 25:35
  He's like, Oh, you don't have to.
• 25:36
  I'm, I'm busy.
• 25:37
  I'm like, okay.
• 25:38
  So he's working.
• 25:39
  No problem.
• 25:40
  Call my mom.
• 25:41
  I'm like, Hey, I'm going to come to California for the weekend.
• 25:43
  She's like, Oh, Devin's here again.
• 25:48
  Do you know what she says?
• 25:49
  You didn't ask.
• 25:50
  You didn't ask.
• 25:51
  So then I find out that Devin now brings his now ex girlfriend to California.
• 25:56
  And I said, so mom, anything you want to share with me?
• 25:58
  Because I'm asking now, I'm asking, anything you want to verbally throw up and share with me now?
• 26:04
  She said, I have no idea what it is you're referring to, sweetie.
• 26:10
  Do you want to be more specific?
• 26:11
  You met Ty.
• 26:13
  So your mom's still in California now?
• 26:16
  Oh yeah.
• 26:17
  Is she okay, though, with the fires, like, were they were on advisory because what they're called is the Santa Ana winds and they happen every year like clockwork.
• 26:26
  The problem is okay, the fire burned the same exact, actually, 2 more square miles than Manhattan all together.
• 26:35
  All of New York city.
• 26:36
  Imagine if it was gone.
• 26:37
  That's the Pacific Palisades.
• 26:39
  So you've got the Pacific Palisades and then you have Malibu.
• 26:42
  And then where I'm from is Agora, which is right on the inside of that.
• 26:45
  And then there's Calabasas.
• 26:46
  So God forbid anything happens to Calabasas.
• 26:49
  What would we do if the Kardashians didn't have 75 homes?
• 26:53
  I don't personally know.
• 26:54
  We wouldn't make it like we were there long before you weirdos like grow up.
• 27:01
  That's what happened when I showed my license out here.
• 27:02
  Someone was like, Oh my God, Calabasas is the real place.
• 27:06
  Did you think it was a movie set?
• 27:09
  Probably.
• 27:09
  We get groceries just like y'all do.
• 27:11
  I promise.
• 27:11
  But the fires get so bad and then you don't have any air pressure coming in from Malibu to help you like blow out up wherever it needs to go.
• 27:22
  The embers with the fire.
• 27:24
  So then you started having embers in Agora, Calabasas, Newberry Park, and then there was another fire behind Newberry Park that started.
• 27:30
  So that's where my mom was.
• 27:31
  She didn't have to evacuate.
• 27:32
  And as she always tells me, I, I'm not going to evacuate.
• 27:37
  You just burn with the house.
• 27:38
  Like, what are you doing?
• 27:39
  Like, well, it's kind of like how we are with the hurricane.
• 27:41
  You know, we're not going anywhere and we're going to be all right.
• 27:43
  Well, yeah, tornadoes in Tennessee.
• 27:46
  I mean, my mom came to visit and a tornado was coming through and she's like, should we not be like, in a closet or in the bathtub?
• 27:54
  It's so the rest of the house falls on top of you in the, in the bathtub.
• 27:58
  I mean, like, yeah.
• 28:00
  Or, or, and just hear me out, you could be part of California and go through earthquakes and when people come to visit you in Los Angeles for the first time and there happens to be an earthquake, and you're sitting there just doing your normal stuff, house is shaking and shaking, And your friend who is not from California, she's like, should we get under a desk?
• 28:21
  No, we're fine.
• 28:24
  What if the house falls down?
• 28:25
  Well, then it's not standing up and it fell down.
• 28:27
  And is the desk going to really What are you talking about getting under a desk?
• 28:31
  If the roof falls down, oh, thank God the desk was here.
• 28:36
  That's what we did in school for tornado juice, though.
• 28:38
  We got under a desk.
• 28:39
  But those are like metal desks, right?
• 28:42
  At home, like, how strong is your Ikea desk?
• 28:45
  Yeah.
• 28:46
  Don't judge my Ikea desk.
• 28:48
  Yeah, I mean, I can't even judge it.
• 28:49
  Right, yeah, yeah.
• 28:50
  I mean, I've got a glass desk.
• 28:52
  That's not going to do shit, but it hurt me.
• 28:53
  Right, that's very true.
• 28:55
  It would cut your jugular.
• 28:56
  Don't get in there.
• 28:57
  Get in the doorway.
• 28:57
  I don't even know how Ikea desks actually get put together.
• 29:02
  Because I know none of us read the directions, and we shove whatever bolts go in wherever they go.
• 29:06
  Well, the directions are in like Swedish, so we're just winging it with all of it.
• 29:11
  It is, it is, and this desk has held up because I put pressure on it every week when we're, when I'm here.
• 29:18
  Well, now that I'm, now that I'm terrified.
• 29:23
  You got like a metal stand over there.
• 29:25
  What if I'm the one that causes this test to break?
• 29:28
  It doesn't break.
• 29:28
  I've had it for a long time.
• 29:30
  Okay, I'm good then.
• 29:33
  Um, so your TikTok grew so quickly because of the video of your son where he lost.
• 29:41
  So he, did he have his wisdom teeth out or did he have his I don't know.
• 29:45
  I don't know if you guys were at that game, but it was absolutely horrible.
• 29:48
  The clover game with the old, I'm sure the trainers aren't there anymore.
• 29:52
  The little guy, the little, yeah, they're gone.
• 29:55
  He's still, they're gone.
• 29:56
  I don't know.
• 29:59
  It's okay.
• 30:00
  Well, he told Devin that he could go back in the game.
• 30:03
  And Devin was like, my knee really doesn't feel very good.
• 30:05
  And I said, Hey, you know, I really don't want to go back in the end.
• 30:07
  They're like, he's fine.
• 30:08
  And I'm like, Hmm, maybe that night.
• 30:11
  Um, I think it was in the fourth quarter.
• 30:14
  I don't remember the other team, but they knew that Devin was having some knee problems because Vanita Farmer, who's Isaiah Farmer's mom kept saying that guy keeps going after Devin's knee and he did.
• 30:23
  And the crazy thing was the swollen knee turned out to be a completely torn and blown ACL.
• 30:29
  That the coach at the time, who I will remain nameless, said, Oh, he's fine.
• 30:34
  Yeah.
• 30:35
  So he had surgery with the wonderful Dr.
• 30:38
  Saltham and, he woke up from surgery and the first concern he had was that his arm was gone.
• 30:43
  He was under the blanket.
• 30:45
  He was upset because the nurse who brought him a popsicle clearly stole his arm and not some bowl because that's not what he came here for.
• 30:54
  That's hilarious.
• 30:55
  So I asked him if he needed that arm back, he says yes, and I said, do you want me to get it for you?
• 31:00
  He said, yes.
• 31:01
  I said, are you okay?
• 31:02
  He says, no, adamantly.
• 31:04
  Yeah.
• 31:05
  Yeah.
• 31:06
  As he bites into a Popsicle that still makes my teeth shiver when he does it.
• 31:10
  It is so cute though.
• 31:11
  Cause you can see the blanket like pulled up and he's just like, He's high as a kite and he's like, high is kite nibbling.
• 31:18
  And it's like she took, and he's not even moving it so he won't, he won't move it at all because it's under the blanket.
• 31:23
  Right, right.
• 31:24
  So he's eating the Popsicle looking down like, and I said, you know, you can still play football with one arm.
• 31:29
  And he said, I would really rather not At least he was polite about it.
• 31:33
  He was.
• 31:34
  He really was.
• 31:35
  He really was it.
• 31:37
  I remember getting come home that night and I was like, do you even remember anything about today?
• 31:41
  He's like, all I know is that when I wake up in the morning, I wanna have two arms.
• 31:46
  Oh, I don't know what I have right now.
• 31:48
  He said, for all I know, I could be Lieutenant Dan, but I want to go to bed and wake up different.
• 31:53
  So what started him thinking, do you remember that he didn't have the arm?
• 31:57
  Was it just that he couldn't see it or couldn't put it under the blanket idiot.
• 32:01
  And he, and so you were like, ah, I got to record this one because I recorded the entire thing, knowing that that would be the one thing that would drive him absolutely nuts.
• 32:10
  Yeah.
• 32:10
  And so I had called my best friend.
• 32:12
  I was like, sometimes you are never going to believe that.
• 32:14
  She's like, let me see.
• 32:15
  Yeah, of course.
• 32:16
  That's what we do.
• 32:17
  She's like, are you serious?
• 32:18
  What is wrong with him?
• 32:19
  So you hear her in an older, older video, but I never posted it because Devin asked me not to, obviously.
• 32:24
  Yeah.
• 32:25
  And you hear her going, Devin, the angels are calling, and he's like, wow, the angels sound just like sunshine.
• 32:33
  And sunshine's going, oh, he's high as hell.
• 32:36
  Well, what is sunshine?
• 32:37
  Devin was like, the balls are in sunshine.
• 32:39
  That can't be good.
• 32:40
  Sunshine, you should have that looked at.
• 32:42
  And then he fades off and sometimes like, this is fantastic.
• 32:45
  And then her son, Justice, had had, um, his wisdom teeth out.
• 32:49
  So she calls me and Justice was like, This is what the other side looks like?
• 32:53
  And I said, What other side?
• 32:55
  He's like, How are you in there?
• 32:57
  How did you get in there?
• 32:59
  I said, J Man, it's a phone.
• 33:00
  He said, whoa, who made that?
• 33:04
  And he keeps getting his face closer and back, and closer and back, and I'm like, Justice?
• 33:08
  He's like, who took out my face?
• 33:10
  I said, nobody took out your face.
• 33:11
  He's like, I don't have any wisdom anymore.
• 33:15
  I said, no, they took out your wisdom teeth.
• 33:19
  He said, yeah, that's where all my wisdom was.
• 33:21
  It's gone.
• 33:22
  I said, so he's like, I guess I can't go to school anymore.
• 33:25
  I guess I'm just as helpless as Pinocchio was.
• 33:27
  And then he went to sleep.
• 33:29
  I was like, what are you giving these kids?
• 33:31
  And where do we get it?
• 33:32
  Because we would love that.
• 33:34
  Take a big puff of that every morning and be ready to go.
• 33:37
  That is hilarious.
• 33:38
  Dylan did not have a fun wake up when he had surgery.
• 33:41
  He was telling everybody to get the F away from him.
• 33:46
  I was pretty good after my hysterectomy.
• 33:48
  I, I, The only time I remember being high as ever was having miles.
• 33:53
  C section because it was an emergency C section and it was awful.
• 33:56
  He was 24 inches at birth.
• 33:57
  Just awful.
• 33:59
  And he was a month early.
• 34:01
  He was supposed to be my July 4th baby.
• 34:03
  He decided June 3rd was a better option for him.
• 34:05
  No problem.
• 34:05
  He didn't want to share his day with the rest of the country.
• 34:08
  But see, I did because the hospital in West Hills, California overlooks this one college and I had planned everything to a T.
• 34:15
  I said I'm having a C section in the morning, the fireworks from Pierce College go off at night.
• 34:20
  And then I remember June 3rd walking in to go see my doctor, Dr.
• 34:23
  Stone and Dr.
• 34:24
  Katz.
• 34:24
  And they said, we have good news and bad news.
• 34:26
  The good news is everything's fine.
• 34:27
  Stay calm.
• 34:29
  The bad news is we need you to walk across because we're going to go deliver little, little Mia today.
• 34:34
  I'm like, okay.
• 34:36
  So I'm trying, trying to call my husband, like all the things that wives do.
• 34:40
  I get into the waiting room.
• 34:41
  I've got overalls on and paint because I just thought I was coming for my check.
• 34:46
  Right.
• 34:46
  It hurts.
• 34:47
  Right.
• 34:48
  A woman comes up to me, she's like, did you just find out that you were pregnant?
• 34:53
  Yes, that's, that's what it is.
• 34:55
  I'm painting and I just happened to find out it was, glad I came to an OBGYN, go somewhere.
• 35:01
  So I walked across, everything's fine.
• 35:04
  The doctor's putting all the anesthesia in, we're going to do the epidural, this is my third C section, I'm good to go.
• 35:08
  No problem.
• 35:09
  I'm golden.
• 35:10
  No problem.
• 35:11
  We have an emergency.
• 35:12
  Tracy's not breathing.
• 35:13
  I'm breathing.
• 35:14
  I'm telling them I'm breathing.
• 35:17
  I'm completely out.
• 35:18
  My brain is telling them I'm breathing, but I'm not talking at all.
• 35:21
  It's whoever I'm gone to the world.
• 35:24
  I had a party with Snoop Dogg and Dr.
• 35:25
  Dre that day.
• 35:27
  I mean, that sounds great to be honest, but I wake up in the morning.
• 35:31
  And I remember looking at Jamie and I said, that was a hell of a party last night.
• 35:36
  Do you have any more of that gin and juice left?
• 35:39
  Jamie looks at me.
• 35:40
  He's like, do you want to meet your baby?
• 35:41
  I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 35:43
  I don't know you like that homie.
• 35:46
  Jamie's like, I'm your husband.
• 35:50
  I don't like love for those hoes.
• 35:51
  Jamie's like, first of all, Snoop Dogg, you're not Snoop Dogg.
• 35:54
  Let's start there.
• 35:56
  I'm like, who are you talking to like that?
• 35:58
  You better take the bass out of your voice.
• 36:00
  Jamie's a six foot six.
• 36:02
  He's a big dude, yeah.
• 36:04
  He's a big ass dude.
• 36:05
  And I'm sitting in the hospital, I'm arguing with him.
• 36:06
  I'm like, you need to go get your security and calm down.
• 36:10
  Go smoke yourself whatever you need to smoke, and then come back and talk to me when you're a man.
• 36:13
  Jamie's like, first of all, you are not a man.
• 36:15
  Second of all, you're a woman.
• 36:17
  He's like, I got albums to drop.
• 36:20
  Oh no, and then the worst part happened.
• 36:22
  He brings me Mia Slack Miles.
• 36:26
  This is not what I ordered.
• 36:29
  Bitch! And I'm looking under the blanket.
• 36:31
  I'm like, excuse me?
• 36:32
  They're like, we just didn't know she was so big and so long.
• 36:34
  We didn't see anything.
• 36:35
  So, and he just turned to the side.
• 36:37
  I was like, Return to sender.
• 36:40
  Yeah.
• 36:41
  Your whole plan with the date and the fireworks and the sex of the baby just got flipped.
• 36:46
  He came a month early.
• 36:47
  He didn't have time to grow it.
• 36:49
  And then Jamie turns around, he's like, so how do you feel about that, Snoop Dogg?
• 36:52
  Like, guess I'm not high anymore.
• 36:55
  I promise you that.
• 36:57
  Right.
• 36:58
  Right.
• 36:58
  I sat there and I looked at these doctors and I was like, You are So did you have like a room painted pink and everything?
• 37:04
  Like, was it like Luckily I had done a neutral color because I wasn't done.
• 37:08
  Cause I had a whole month to go.
• 37:09
  Yeah.
• 37:11
  Oh my gosh.
• 37:12
  Jamie was like, are you going to hold him?
• 37:14
  I'm like, not until I find out I'm having a boy.
• 37:16
  I need to hear it from somebody else because this does not make any sense.
• 37:19
  This is not my kid.
• 37:20
  This is not my kid.
• 37:21
  And Miles made sure for the first two years that I knew damn well that he was Jamie's son and not my kid.
• 37:28
  I couldn't, nothing I ever did would make him happy.
• 37:31
  Nothing.
• 37:31
  Oh, that's tough though.
• 37:33
  Screaming constantly.
• 37:35
  Like I would look at him and he would start screaming and Jamie would be like, Hope you had a good time at your little doggy style party.
• 37:41
  I did actually.
• 37:44
  Thanks.
• 37:44
  Thanks.
• 37:45
  I'd love to go.
• 37:46
  It's worth it.
• 37:47
  Yeah, never again.
• 37:50
  But yeah, so that was how all of that transpired that video of, um, it's somebody in the hospital and you can hear the machines beep in.
• 38:01
  And then it turns to like the beat making me laugh.
• 38:05
  I am.
• 38:06
  My explanation is great.
• 38:07
  Right?
• 38:08
  And then it's like, you can hear like the monitor, like the heart beeping and then like another monitor comes in and it starts with the, um, the beat of when a Snoop and Dre songs.
• 38:21
  Oh, yeah.
• 38:21
  Yeah.
• 38:22
  Yeah.
• 38:22
  Yeah.
• 38:22
  I gotcha.
• 38:23
  It's really good.
• 38:25
  My explanation is not great.
• 38:26
  I'll tell you what it is on TikTok, but we don't have TikTok anymore.
• 38:29
  I don't understand.
• 38:30
  It's coming back.
• 38:31
  It's coming back Monday.
• 38:33
  But it's like, what was the point though?
• 38:34
  Like, what is the point?
• 38:36
  Because you know, all you have to do is change your country and location on your iPhone and you can log into TikTok.
• 38:41
  So I saw some people tried that.
• 38:42
  It didn't work.
• 38:43
  I hadn't tried it.
• 38:44
  Um, a couple of my friends have tried and it did work, but it'll cancel all your subscriptions that you have.
• 38:48
  Oh, I'm not mad at that.
• 38:50
  Cause I don't even know what I have anymore.
• 38:52
  But I've got like, reset.
• 38:54
  Reset, complete, like hard.
• 38:55
  If I could do that with my brain, oh my god.
• 38:58
  Hard reset.
• 38:59
  I have like a special pricing for the next year and Oh yeah.
• 39:02
  Cancel it.
• 39:03
  Yeah.
• 39:04
  And lose my pricing.
• 39:05
  Yeah.
• 39:05
  So I'll wait two days.
• 39:06
  I asked Jackson, I was like, how are you butter, are you managing without TikTok?
• 39:10
  This was this morning.
• 39:10
  I said, yeah, I'm just watching Instagram reels now.
• 39:12
  And I was like, great, no.
• 39:13
  I found out an hour and a half prior because it got, it said your payout for this month has been declined.
• 39:18
  I have a payout.
• 39:20
  I'm like, awesome.
• 39:21
  Like, that's great.
• 39:21
  They really need to make houses with be God! You forget that he's 6'4 and has a size 16 shoe.
• 39:29
  You forget Devin is 6'3 with a size 14 shoe.
• 39:32
  You forget these things when you hear them stomping upstairs, and then they look at you like, What?
• 39:36
  Really?
• 39:36
  Have you seen you?
• 39:38
  Yeah.
• 39:38
  Yeah, you're not a wallpillow flower.
• 39:40
  Yeah.
• 39:42
  But I asked, they're doing, he's on YouTube constantly.
• 39:45
  I know Devin, Devin doesn't really care.
• 39:48
  Devin sits there and he can get engrossed in Landman for the next eight days and be perfectly happy with that.
• 39:53
  Yeah.
• 39:53
  Yeah.
• 39:53
  That was a great show by the way.
• 39:55
  I have watched some of it, but not all of it.
• 39:57
  Um, but Jackson forgets his size too.
• 39:59
  And like his lack of grace, like he's coordinated, but like just to sit down in a chair is not a sit down.
• 40:05
  It's a warm.
• 40:07
  Yeah.
• 40:08
  It's that kind of thing.
• 40:09
  Jamie had to understand that because Jamie got to a point where he was much heavier and he didn't realize how big he had gotten.
• 40:18
  As Devin called it, his Thor workouts were horrible.
• 40:22
  Horrible.
• 40:23
  He just took that way too far.
• 40:24
  I mean, Jamie was huge and he would sit down and like, Why is the couch moving?
• 40:28
  Because you're 310 pounds, my guy.
• 40:30
  What are you doing?
• 40:32
  Well, and that's what we have now is our, our sofas are like, we need new sofas.
• 40:36
  We have a big old dip.
• 40:37
  I got a big dip.
• 40:38
  Yeah.
• 40:39
  Like until, until you and all of your football linemen friends can figure out how to sit on the couch properly.
• 40:45
  I'm not even worrying about it.
• 40:46
  Just get a bunch of beanbags.
• 40:47
  Yeah.
• 40:48
  It's a great idea.
• 40:49
  It's a great idea.
• 40:50
  When those pop, those are even more fun.
• 40:52
  Let me just share that with you.
• 40:53
  I looked at it the hard way.
• 40:54
  I would open the doors and take like a leaf blower and just blow it off.
• 40:58
  That's genius.
• 41:00
  They have the ones that are just now like foam, like memory foam.
• 41:03
  That's true.
• 41:04
  That wouldn't be too bad.
• 41:05
  No.
• 41:06
  There's no graceful way of getting out of a beanbag, though.
• 41:08
  Oh, no, there's not.
• 41:10
  It's like the rollover, the push up, and then the It's kind of like a water slide.
• 41:14
  First of all, if you go down a water slide, usually your bathing suit ends up somewhere that you don't want to dig it out.
• 41:19
  And then while you're trying to gracefully get up without showing everybody what you got back there, then you're, yeah, you're like rolling on your stomach and the cute little lifeguard who helps you get out of the tube is like, Hey ma'am.
• 41:31
  And I'm like, Oh, dude.
• 41:33
  Yeah.
• 41:34
  I just had some traumatic flashbacks.
• 41:36
  I'm okay.
• 41:37
  Give me a minute.
• 41:40
  My heart just sinks.
• 41:41
  Because so three.
• 41:45
  Four years ago, maybe four years ago, I was at my heaviest.
• 41:48
  I was at 280, 285, somewhere in there.
• 41:52
  And my husband, brother in law, sister in law, all of Bebe's kids, um, joined and we went to Gatlinburg to go do the Lazy River.
• 42:03
  Everything's fine.
• 42:04
  Lazy River, it is not.
• 42:06
  I used to have really long nails all the time.
• 42:08
  My nails were always long, always done.
• 42:10
  That was like my thing.
• 42:11
  Lost like eight of those on the way.
• 42:13
  And then when you stop so that you can get off this stupid little, like who made that to begin with?
• 42:19
  I don't know.
• 42:20
  I don't know.
• 42:20
  And then I missed the step and I watched all of my life go before my eyes, and I hear my husband and my brother in law cracking up saying, thank God she can swim.
• 42:30
  First of all, I'm convinced it's Lake Lanier, like I don't even want to know what's down there.
• 42:35
  That's number one.
• 42:36
  Number two, I have two nails hanging on to like a full thing.
• 42:40
  And I said, you know, I'm about to go on my 600 pound life if you guys don't fucking help me.
• 42:44
  I'm going to be the damn lifeguard here.
• 42:45
  I'm going to be like the one that helps everybody from under, beyond the sea.
• 42:49
  And then number three, I smell like wet bologna.
• 42:52
  Wait, not bologna.
• 42:53
  There you go.
• 42:54
  Like this whole trip is just ruined and I remember my brother in law going, do you think you should find a nail salon?
• 42:59
  Yeah, I'm sure I'm going to go back in the Lazy River and go find the nail tips that like my bloody stubs are, this is not a Lazy River, this is a traumatic brain injury river.
• 43:07
  Yeah, nobody should be on that.
• 43:09
  Those things are like the concept of it is great.
• 43:12
  Like to just get in a float and chill.
• 43:15
  But the floats are like, do you get in them?
• 43:17
  Like with like through your body and just chill this way?
• 43:20
  Could you lay back and your neck's up?
• 43:22
  And then all the kids around there are doing cannonballs.
• 43:25
  Um, yeah, they need an adults only lazy river with better.
• 43:28
  And that's where Las Vegas comes into play.
• 43:30
  Y'all have never been to Las Vegas.
• 43:32
  You go to Las Vegas, Las Vegas.
• 43:33
  I haven't been in a while.
• 43:34
  You check yourself into Caesar's Palace.
• 43:35
  Okay.
• 43:35
  You say to yourself, self, I'm going to relax this weekend.
• 43:38
  You go down and you make your reservation for the pool.
• 43:40
  Yes, you need a reservation.
• 43:41
  You make your reservation for the pool and you say, I'll take two for the Lazy River, but I think I'll go to Treasure Island because then you get to go a little bit and there's a bartender.
• 43:47
  Would you like a drink, Ms.
• 43:48
  Chisholm?
• 43:49
  I absolutely would.
• 43:52
  Keep going.
• 43:52
  And it's a pool.
• 43:53
  So you don't have to worry about God's creation of all these beautiful landmarks that you cannot judge.
• 43:59
  And there's no bartender in a lazy river in Gatlinburg.
• 44:02
  There is a bartender in the lazy river in Las Vegas.
• 44:05
  That's the lazy river I can do.
• 44:08
  Yeah, note to self.
• 44:10
  I'm making all kinds of notes today.
• 44:12
  So we're gonna go to New Orleans.
• 44:14
  And yes, and then Vegas I hadn't been to Vegas in probably about 15 years.
• 44:17
  I'd love to go back.
• 44:20
  You just tell me when.
• 44:21
  I've never been to Vegas ever.
• 44:23
  Well, we need you to go so you can plan this, um, plan our Lazy River itinerary.
• 44:29
  Yeah, I can plan your demise only so you'll get better before you go back because I promise you The last time that I went to Vegas was for Devin's 21st birthday.
• 44:37
  He's 20, he's turning 24, 25 this year.
• 44:40
  The last time we went, I was so shocked by how ignorant I had become.
• 44:46
  And I say that with all due respect from Los Angeles to Vegas, it's a five hour drive, four hours if I'm driving from where I live.
• 44:54
  Oh, like, like I, like I own the roads.
• 44:56
  I just so foolish tickets.
• 44:58
  And you wonder where Devin gets it from.
• 44:59
  I'm surprised that he even still has his license.
• 45:02
  He's like, I have my license because I pay my tickets.
• 45:05
  I said, so you're indicating that I don't have my license.
• 45:07
  He's like, you don't have your license because you have seizures and we don't want to die on the road because you're out there.
• 45:11
  That's why I said, fair enough.
• 45:15
  And the best part about being in Las Vegas is your five hours from, you can take a drive to Utah.
• 45:20
  If you want to go to Utah and see what that's all about, you can go down to Arizona.
• 45:23
  You can be standing in Arizona, Utah and New Mexico, whatever, four states, Colorado maybe.
• 45:30
  That's cool.
• 45:30
  I've been there.
• 45:32
  But Devin made a good comment.
• 45:33
  He's like, can't you go to any state in the corner and do that to all the states that are around there?
• 45:39
  I said, I said, mom, every single state meets at a corner.
• 45:42
  You do have a point there.
• 45:44
  But the best part about Vegas is you like time goes away.
• 45:48
  Yes.
• 45:49
  Oxygen inside of the casinos.
• 45:51
  It's like, they're pumping you with Adrenaline because you think I could just totally mortgage my house for the third time and Go make a million dollars in 20 minutes, or you can go my route and just enjoy Window shopping because Yeah.
• 46:06
  Afford that anymore.
• 46:07
  Unless TikTok comes back.
• 46:09
  I'm just kidding.
• 46:09
  And then enjoying like spas and things like that.
• 46:13
  Restaurants, that's, yes.
• 46:16
  I'm not a gambler.
• 46:16
  That's my, I'm not a gambler either.
• 46:17
  No myr me, but give me massages, facials, lazy rivers, steam, spa, the salt rooms, all of the things that you can possibly imagine.
• 46:26
  I want them all every day.
• 46:28
  And the best part is I wash a pop star.
• 46:32
  I'll be a washed up pop star.
• 46:34
  The best part is when you leave Vegas, you can leave out of Los Angeles because you can take the four hour drive, rent a car, go back to Los Angeles, see that for a few days, and then, well, whatever, it's not burned down, and then go see that, and then go back.
• 46:46
  It's usually cheaper to fly out of LAX than it is McCarran Airport, which I never understood that, because we left, no, no, no, we left Vegas for Devin's birthday, and all of a sudden we're in Los Angeles.
• 46:57
  And I said, well, what, that's the wrong way.
• 46:58
  Like, I'm supposed to be going back to South Carolina.
• 47:00
  I don't know.
• 47:00
  My mom's like, well, I can meet you at the airport for a few hours if you'd like.
• 47:04
  Our layover was like seven and a half hours.
• 47:06
  My mom's like, traffic, bitch, this does not take seven hours to get from Calabasas to LAX.
• 47:11
  Knock it off and come see me.
• 47:14
  Where do you want to eat?
• 47:15
  Obviously, I'm home for seven hours.
• 47:17
  I'm home for seven hours.
• 47:18
  Yes, I want to eat.
• 47:19
  Yeah, you need to go to Vegas.
• 47:21
  Let's do it.
• 47:21
  Yeah, let's plan a Vegas.
• 47:23
  I'd love to go to Vegas.
• 47:24
  Yeah, I've never been.
• 47:25
  Give me all the things.
• 47:26
  It's so much fun.
• 47:27
  And it is so you can't really describe it.
• 47:29
  Um, an adult playground.
• 47:31
  It is like the hotels are city block.
• 47:34
  I'd be doing the zip lining though.
• 47:36
  I watched, I don't know, some show on it.
• 47:38
  Like undercover boss or something and they showed how they know.
• 47:41
  I was like, no, you're good.
• 47:42
  I'll never do that.
• 47:43
  But just to go and see like, although I did it in like a third world country with no, it doesn't matter.
• 47:48
  It doesn't.
• 47:48
  You were safe there.
• 47:50
  You were safe and things work.
• 47:53
  I'm okay.
• 47:53
  But once I know how they work and I know that they're not yeah.
• 47:56
  Super regulated.
• 47:57
  Right.
• 47:57
  No, you're out.
• 47:58
  But let's go see the, um, like the Bellagio and all, and walk through, like you said, like Caesar's Palace.
• 48:04
  They take up like city blocks, the hotels.
• 48:06
  The new sugar daddy can take you.
• 48:08
  Yeah.
• 48:09
  So I joined Red Note, right?
• 48:11
  And I got a message this morning asking if I was a sugar baby.
• 48:16
  Are you so excited?
• 48:18
  I was like, no, I don't.
• 48:20
  And I'm like, why did you say no?
• 48:22
  I know nine times out of 10.
• 48:24
  They're all fake.
• 48:24
  Anyway, don't worry about it.
• 48:25
  So then my, my response to her was, well, the prices of eggs, I should have said, yes, it's crazy.
• 48:32
  I have to go to the store when I leave here.
• 48:33
  I've already devastated about how much money I'm going to spend and get nothing.
• 48:36
  I'm took Dylan yesterday.
• 48:37
  We had like three bags and it was 120.
• 48:41
  Crazy.
• 48:42
  We went yesterday and today, because I told Jamie, I said, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
• 48:48
  I could have signed up to Red Note, and now I'm part of the Chinese regiment and owe 70, 000.
• 48:52
  I don't know.
• 48:53
  And you're now in the Chinese military.
• 48:55
  I don't speak Mandarin.
• 48:56
  I don't know.
• 48:58
  And so he's like, well, you should probably get propane.
• 49:00
  I said, clearly that's exactly what I'm thinking, propane.
• 49:04
  What are you talking about?
• 49:05
  And so I told him, like, I want to get meats and stuff like that, so I don't have to worry about it.
• 49:11
  I think we spent in total between yesterday and today, a little under 400.
• 49:17
  And that was going to Walmart because Sam's had nothing.
• 49:22
  And I'm talking things like water, chicken, salad.
• 49:27
  Why was this 528?
• 49:28
  This has never been 528.
• 49:30
  And I told her about it at the checkout and she's like, well, how much do you normally spend for it?
• 49:34
  I said, Jamie's like, don't do that.
• 49:36
  I said, I don't, I don't.
• 49:37
  He's like, you don't spend 3 on it.
• 49:39
  Don't do that.
• 49:40
  I said, I spend 3.
• 49:42
  25 on it.
• 49:42
  She's like, you don't, but I will give you a discount.
• 49:45
  Jamie's like, have you been honest?
• 49:46
  I'm like, no, no, because right now in California, a dozen 75.
• 49:51
  Oh my God.
• 49:52
  One dozen.
• 49:54
  Yeah.
• 49:55
  But see, that's what I thought was normal.
• 49:56
  Like when I moved out here and saw that gas was a dollar something at the time, I, all my friends in California, I'm like, yeah, yeah, you see that it's a dollar 42 and they're open all the time.
• 50:09
  Yeah.
• 50:09
  And then I got it to sad reality check that nothing in the South has opened that long and now I'm getting where you're sitting.
• 50:14
  Yeah, here we are.
• 50:17
  Well, I have really enjoyed having you on.
• 50:20
  Oh my gosh.
• 50:21
  I love you and I feel like you're one of our besties now.
• 50:24
  Uh huh.
• 50:25
  I think we might need to make this a regular thing, like a monthly talk with Tracy or something like that.
• 50:29
  I would love it and I would also love if you guys wanted to do some clips and when TikTok comes back, I will happily put it on my page.
• 50:35
  Yeah, for sure.
• 50:36
  Okay.
• 50:36
  And I can put it on both and I can tag you guys in it.
• 50:39
  It's no big deal because I know the page.
• 50:41
  With 84K, that gets a lot of views, but my page with 10.
• 50:44
  9 is getting even more views because I'm tagging everything with over 40 moms of TikTok.
• 50:50
  Yeah.
• 50:51
  It's all about your tags.
• 50:52
  Yeah.
• 50:53
  Well, what are your social media handles?
• 50:55
  Um, so our people can follow you or find you.
• 50:59
  Okay.
• 50:59
  Oh, I do.
• 51:00
  I can add them.
• 51:01
  Don't scream.
• 51:02
  We'll put them in there.
• 51:03
  We'll find them.
• 51:04
  No, I can't.
• 51:07
  One is Talk Nice 75, I think.
• 51:09
  I think so, and I think the other one is Talk Nice 756.
• 51:13
  I never, because Talk Nice 756 was created when Talk Nice 75 got hacked.
• 51:19
  I think.
• 51:20
  I think.
• 51:20
  Now, are you on Insta and stuff too?
• 51:22
  Yep.
• 51:23
  Okay.
• 51:23
  Um, just I think it's all talk nice 75 now that I think about it.
• 51:28
  I don't think I'm do a bunch of different things because that's too much.
• 51:32
  And then I'm learning reels on Facebook because everybody's kind of moving over to that.
• 51:36
  And then I'm just posting on, on red note, red Mandarin.
• 51:38
  I don't know what the crap I'm posting.
• 51:40
  I'm just, I have all of like my Tik TOK save.
• 51:43
  So that's all I've been uploading was like, my particular, that's all you need to do.
• 51:47
  Yeah.
• 51:47
  Right now I have about five or six Mandarin friends that are telling me their life stories in Mandarin.
• 51:52
  And I'm just like, thank you.
• 51:53
  I am so proud of both of you and your dual citizenship now with the child.
• 51:58
  You're welcome.
• 51:59
  You're welcome.
• 52:00
  We'll be letting you know.
• 52:01
  She talks so, it's such good English and she is teaching everybody all the swear words and I'm there for it.
• 52:08
  Really how to swear in Chinese.
• 52:09
  I was like, thank you for teaching us how to talk to our government.
• 52:12
  See Jack.
• 52:13
  Uh, Brian knows all that, um, in Spanish because he works with a lot of Spanish people, so they teach him, oh, I know lots of Spanish stuff.
• 52:20
  Swear words, nothing else.
• 52:21
  Yeah, a lot of beer.
• 52:22
  And I know bathroom in Florida things the important things.
• 52:26
  Miles comes down when he's in his Spanish mode and his famous sentence is De los Biblioteca pan tortilla.
• 52:35
  I said, so you want to wear pants to the library and eat a tortilla?
• 52:38
  He said, but I said, isn't it?
• 52:42
  I said, do you know where the library is?
• 52:45
  I'm telling you, I know Spanish.
• 52:46
  So if anyone asks me, do I know Spanish?
• 52:48
  Clearly I've gone to the library.
• 52:50
  I wear pants and I know what a tortilla is.
• 52:52
  Do you dad?
• 52:53
  I'm done.
• 52:54
  He's officially bilingual.
• 52:56
  I mean, let him tell the story.
• 52:58
  He's trilingual.
• 52:59
  Let him start talking with a German accent and then don't get Devin started on accents.
• 53:03
  That dude went through the McDonald's drive through with the Chinese accent gets to the window.
• 53:08
  They're like, Oh, you must not be the order.
• 53:10
  And Devin, No, I am like, well, whose order did you take?
• 53:14
  And the lady's looking and I said, don't, don't do that.
• 53:18
  So he finished off with the accent.
• 53:19
  She's like, I thought you were a little tiny eight.
• 53:21
  And she did this.
• 53:22
  I thought you were a little tiny Asian man.
• 53:24
  Devin's like, well, I'm a big black man with an Asian accent.
• 53:27
  I'm Blazian.
• 53:28
  I'm like, you're not Blazian.
• 53:30
  But now I have a new, I need to do that.
• 53:33
  Now.
• 53:33
  I love accents.
• 53:34
  I love accents.
• 53:35
  Don't accept bum jingles because theirs is all AI.
• 53:37
  Go on my Instagram, all the way down at the bottom, I think it's still there.
• 53:43
  Devin does the best Mark Wahlberg.
• 53:45
  He does the best Ryan Reynolds.
• 53:47
  But his Indian guy at a 7 Eleven?
• 53:50
  Oh yeah.
• 53:51
  Chef's kiss.
• 53:52
  Okay.
• 53:53
  And he will answer the phone and he will mess with you, especially if he sees unknown caller.
• 53:58
  Suddenly he's the IRS.
• 53:59
  Thank you for calling Steve Diller at the IRS.
• 54:01
  How can I take your call?
• 54:02
  Will this be cash or check payment today?
• 54:04
  Oh my gosh.
• 54:05
  That's hilarious.
• 54:07
  Oh, we love prank calls.
• 54:08
  That's our favorite.
• 54:09
  We, anytime we get an unknown number, especially when they're yelling at us that they're going to be arresting us right outside in like 15 minutes if we don't get an iTunes card.
• 54:16
  Yeah.
• 54:16
  My son will be like, slow down, slow down.
• 54:18
  I got Western Union.
• 54:19
  I'll send you that all day.
• 54:20
  But an iTunes card?
• 54:21
  Now you're asking a lot.
• 54:24
  Now I know you're fake.
• 54:25
  Right?
• 54:26
  But any time you guys want to talk or any time you want to do anything, I will be here because I have nowhere else to go.
• 54:34
  Right, right.
• 54:36
  Well, I'm I'm going to probably start a group chat with the 3 of us to just because I know we were going back and forth before, but that way we can all just call out together that way.
• 54:45
  We can.
• 54:46
  But I really think it would be fun to have Tracy on like frequently.
• 54:49
  Yeah, we'll do a monthly a monthly Tracy call.
• 54:52
  Monthly Tracy check in.
• 54:53
  Yeah, I'm hoping to get my parole soon.
• 54:59
  So that would be great.
• 55:00
  I mean, the more positive things I can do in the community, the better.
• 55:04
  Oh, that's overrated.
• 55:07
  Um, this has been a monitor to prove it.
• 55:09
  I'm just kidding.
• 55:10
  I don't this has been a lot of fun.
• 55:12
  I really appreciate you coming on and talking with us and just.
• 55:16
  Making us laugh.
• 55:17
  You guys are amazing.
• 55:18
  Yes.
• 55:18
  Well, I love it.
• 55:19
  And anything you guys want to do, and like I said, I am more than happy to post y'all because your guys podcast, whether you guys realize it or not, and people are telling you is hilarious.
• 55:26
  You two are very good together.
• 55:29
  We don't mean it to be.
• 55:31
  We meant to be serious, but I guess if you want to compliment us, that's fine.
• 55:35
  Yeah.
• 55:35
  Well, tell me that again.
• 55:37
  I didn't hear you.
• 55:38
  No, we appreciate that.
• 55:40
  We enjoy having the outlet.
• 55:41
  Yeah.
• 55:42
  Um, and.
• 55:43
  That she has saved me from a very dark, dark year of my life.
• 55:47
  And so, like, this was, well, my dark year might be coming up and you'll be my refuge.
• 55:53
  So, who knows?
• 55:54
  Well, I'm in it and have been in the dark year for about four and a half years.
• 55:56
  I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
• 55:59
  It's not always an oncoming train.
• 56:00
  I promise you that.
• 56:02
  But at the same time, if it's a shitty, or I don't know if you can, whatever, if it's a crappy year, you have to remember, it's not always going to be like this.
• 56:10
  This too shall pass.
• 56:11
  You're having a great year.
• 56:13
  This too shall pass.
• 56:14
  You're upset.
• 56:16
  This too shall, like any emotion that you feel, take it in for what it's worth for that timeframe.
• 56:21
  That's the biggest mistake that I did for 25 years.
• 56:23
  I was so worried about everybody else.
• 56:26
  Yeah.
• 56:26
  Yeah.
• 56:27
  That for me to even laugh was like, and it's really not that funny.
• 56:30
  Well to you, like finish the sentence.
• 56:32
  It's not funny to you.
• 56:34
  Yeah.
• 56:34
  I don't make you happy, but that doesn't mean I'm not fucking awesome.
• 56:38
  So yeah, you know, yeah.
• 56:40
  And you'll find yourself again.
• 56:41
  And if you're married, it's like your spouse gets to have a new version of you, but the better version of you.
• 56:47
  Yeah.
• 56:48
  Yeah.
• 56:48
  That's a good way to put it.
• 56:49
  Yeah.
• 56:50
  Yeah.
• 56:50
  Every day that you're growing in every day that you're doing these things.
• 56:52
  And when you can start laughing at your kids more often and enjoying like their company, I know we're parents.
• 56:57
  You're always going to be a parent first.
• 56:59
  No problem with that.
• 57:01
  At the same time, when you start letting go of certain things that you've held onto for so long, not only are you a better parent, like I adored Devin and Miles now, I, for years, I think for almost like six or seven years, I didn't like my kids.
• 57:12
  Yeah.
• 57:13
  I can be a hundred percent honest.
• 57:14
  I love them.
• 57:15
  I always do.
• 57:16
  I But I didn't like that.
• 57:17
  Like, mom, do you know what a critic, I don't give a, that's why they're Google, Google it because I wasn't happy because of the way that I was being treated, but I allowed it.
• 57:27
  Yeah.
• 57:27
  You know what I'm saying?
• 57:28
  Like I allowed other people to turn around and say, you're not funny.
• 57:31
  No, bitch.
• 57:32
  I'm funny.
• 57:32
  I know I'm fucking funny as shit.
• 57:34
  You are like, don't do that because you don't like it or because you're insecure.
• 57:39
  I allowed everybody else to show me how insecure I could possibly be.
• 57:43
  And I'm letting go of the people pleaser in me.
• 57:45
  Um, and that is huge.
• 57:48
  It's been a huge, huge, huge, hard road.
• 57:50
  Always remember something.
• 57:52
  No is a complete sentence.
• 57:54
  Yeah.
• 57:55
  You don't owe an explanation after that.
• 57:56
  If someone says, Hey, do you want to go do this?
• 57:58
  And you kind of feel obligated because maybe that person expects you.
• 58:01
  No, I'm good.
• 58:04
  That's empowering.
• 58:05
  Yeah.
• 58:06
  And people don't, we always try to do that though.
• 58:08
  We always try to, we'll talk about that next time.
• 58:11
  Go to Walmart, go do your thing, go do your thing, go be amazing.
• 58:15
  And I'm still going to eat broccoli.
• 58:16
  So It was so nice to meet you.
• 58:21
  Bye.