Latest / Therapy Thursday with Ellen K / Attracted to My Fiancé's Brother & Fantasizing About The Online Firefighter

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Attracted to My Fiancé's Brother & Fantasizing About The Online Firefighter · Therapy Thursday with Ellen K

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Here we are you guys. Therapy Thursday. This is all
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: about helping you. So you know, therapy is a good thing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: In fact, I feel like I need a therapist. I
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: just want, I just want. I feel bad if I
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: like vent to my husband all the time. Anyway, I'm
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Melan k.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm right mano, and I'm.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Sarah dash And sometimes you know, we bring things to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: our partner in life. We do, and then it feels
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: better when we tell them and they might have some
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: word for us. But then I always feel like I
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: didn't really want to burden you with that. Have you
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: had a therapist before?
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  Speaker 3: I have?
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  Speaker 1: Yes? Did you like it? I had grief therapy when
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  Speaker 1: I lost my dad. I'm my mom and I loved it.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I loved it if I didn't do it for very long.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: And Sarah your licensed therapist, so you know. I had
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  Speaker 1: one session after my dad died, and I had a
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: couple after my mother died, and I was super close
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: with them, and I feel like it really did mean
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  Speaker 1: it helped me with I didn't feel the need to
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  Speaker 1: go further. I felt like they gave me the tools
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  Speaker 1: they needed.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: There you go, and that can be I mean, that
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  Speaker 4: can certainly happen with just a few sessions. You don't
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: need to necessarily do long term therapy to get what
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: you want out of the experience.
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: When it comes to like venting with a partner, you know,
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  Speaker 5: I think it is good because you get someone's unbiased opinion,
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: your partner's biased.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: They're in it.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: They're very close to whatever matter it is you're talking about,
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: whether it's your job, whether it's your friends.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: They know the inner workings of this thing.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: That's right, So you kind of need that outside. But
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: like a Sarah dash that's it someone and someone who's
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: seen a thing or two like you, Sarah, a few
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: things over the years, right, and you did regular therapy
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: for a while, and you were just the best.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you. She's like past tense.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I was the best.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: You know you are to help you're you're taking When
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: you were saying your therapy, I was.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Going through a relationship thing and you found this wonderful
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  Speaker 1: therapist and I think it was it weekly.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: It was weekly.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you did it for a long time.
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  Speaker 2: I did, and I really did. It really helped.
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  Speaker 5: It just helps you, you know, gain a perspective that
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: I don't think you're gonna find if you stay stuck.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: Were you going specifically for relationship counsel?
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: It was kind of how to get myself back after
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: a break up, got it right. It was kind of like, oh,
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: this is I felt like delicate. Yeah, going through that,
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: we're delicate.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can say I was right there with you. Yeah,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: that was a delicate time.
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: And you just want a little bit of hey, how
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: can I navigate this a little better.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: A lot of people that we were with, they know
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Sarah's a license therapist, So everyone calls you to share
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: their troubles, Like I mean, like people that we like
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: walk amongst every day, Like, yeah, called Sarah the other night.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: She you know this and that. So you're valuable. Thank
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: you Sarah to us and to this podcast. And we're
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: so happy that you can give this great advice.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: Well I'm so happy to be here. What do we
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: have today?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Okay? So Tory is in a little bit of a pickle.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: She's engaged me married to a guy named Daniel, and
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: the wedding is six months away. Okay, so everything's paid for.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: They're basically ready for it. And I can remember that
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: time leading up to when I married my husband. That's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: like the most exciting time you're thinking of your life together,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: and the wedding in itself is usually great and fun.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: There are sence dress, but still six months out. That's
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: really soon.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, hopefully it's a time of great anticipation.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah, Well, Daniel is the fiance, okay. Marcus is
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Daniel's brother, and Marcus flew into town from Miami for
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: his birthday dinner and Daniel couldn't make it, so he
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: said to Tory go ahead without me.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So when Tory saw Marcus and got to talk to him,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: she started getting like goosebumps and a physical reaction to Marcus.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: She'd only met him once in passing, so this was
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: their first kind of like being around each other. And
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: he walked past her, brush by her back and put
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: his hand on her back, and she said that it
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: felt electric.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: It's a lot of chemistry.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: A lot of chemistry, undeniable chemistry, at least for Tory.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: And it appears Marcus too, because he walked it to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: her car. He didn't kiss her, but he said if
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: only things were different, and then texted her the next
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: morning saying, I can't stop thinking about you. Okay, Now
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Tory feels like do I go on with the wedding
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: or do I pay attention to physically and emotionally what
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think it's definitely something to pay attention to.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I mean, it makes me very curious about Marcus's psychology.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Now what does that mean?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: It means what allows him to make this type of
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: overtour to his brother's.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Fiance, right?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what does that say about him? It's a
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: big no no, Ryan, you have a brother.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: I do, and I can't imagine in no lifetime, in
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: no circumstance would either of us ever even think of
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: crossing that line.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm just going to say it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: I think that this guy who's even letting this door open,
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: this brother, is a scumbag.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I think it's a scum move.
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: It's a disgusting You wouldn't do this to a friend,
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: a colleague, guy, work brother.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: What does it say about Toy Well, I mean, I.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Think for Tory, she's kind of maybe feeling a little
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: bit well, she could be feeling overwhelmed about the wedding,
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: you know, a little bit of cold feet, which makes
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: her vulnerable. But as far as Marcus is concerned, it
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: says a lot about boundaries. It says a lot about
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: a sense of entitlement somebody who can prioritize desire over loyalty. Yes,
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: it's a it's a really really big deal. And what
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: I'm taking from this is that whatever traits allow him
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: to cross this type of boundary with his brother are
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: going to show up in his relationship with Tory should
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: she pursue this.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: He sounds like the kind of guy. Marcus sounds like
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: the kind of guy's just going to take what he
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: wants and he doesn't care, right, and then for Tory
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: to go for it and feel this electricity, Like, Marcus
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: must be very good at what he does.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: I think he's very good at identifying somebody who would
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: be receptive.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So he finds the he finds the weak spirits, and
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: he goes for him.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, people who show up like Marcus does, they're typically
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: not drawn to people with really strong boundaries. Uh huh
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: what because they're not going to be receptive?
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, I mean most people.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: Would have slammed the door on this. Yeah, immediately.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: So what a gamble though to assume?
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: My God, imagine the risk that he's running by going
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: by putting these feelers out and what if she was
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: like what, no, dude, Well imagine then she goes and tells, yeah,
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: his brother.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I mean I think that it's the risk that may
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: actually be pulling him toward this.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, so he likes to live, he likes to play
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: with fire.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's let's see, I would call it transgression arousal No, no, no,
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: it's when it's a real thing. It means that transgression
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: is eroticized because it's taboo, it's appealing with.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Some people have like a danger kink or something.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: It's sort of yeah, exactly, and without it, without it,
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: like without transgression, fantasy collapses. It's an integral part of
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: attraction for some people.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, wow, so it has to be something naughty or
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: you're not attracted to it. Exactly.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: It's a huge thing that you see when people have affairs.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Once one or both people become available, they're not that
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: into the other person anymore. Transgression what it's transgression aroused
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: them when the transgression is in and of itself. What
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: makes something erotic?
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Whoah, bad boys, bad boy?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah you so really?
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: Okay, So let's let's look at the other side of
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: this too, Sarah. So if let's say she does leave
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: her fiance mm hmm and start a life a relationship
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: with the brother. Right, where does that go? Then, Like
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: you can't have those same guess at your new wedding.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: I don't think you can have a wedding period.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I think you're disowned. I don't think that that's what
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Marcus wants anyway. I think he wants to be a conquistador.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I think he wants to conquer right and and and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: what is it called? If if it's his own brother.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: This is like ancient Roman times, right, you know what
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I mean?
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: When you read about those sick families that we're killing
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: each other Tiberius and stealing from each other, It's like,
• 8:19
  Speaker 6: I'm Marcus, I'm going to take what I want and
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: I'm going to leave you in my wake. Yeah, because
• 8:24
  Speaker 6: I don't think you want anything to do with Tori.
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: He just wants to get her and put it in
• 8:29
  Speaker 6: his brother's face and then move on.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm very curious as to what the history is
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: between these two brothers.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, look, if Daniel said I can't make it
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: go in my place to my own brother's dinner, he
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: must know something about Marcus to know that he's throwing
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: his fiance in a fire.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: Or he's somebody who would find this so unthinkable himself
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: that he cannot imagine somebody else treating him this way.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: But really with your own brother, like Ran, if you're
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: brother was a shit, you would know it.
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but even if even if I knew it, I
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: think Sarah's point, I would never assume it would go
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: to that length.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it would be against him. Yeah, it's like, how
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: could that even be possible?
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Have you had like clients like this.
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: I've had clients who have come to me with some
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: similar type of situations.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Uh huh.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: And it's it's very it's very confusing because I think
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: for Tory she feels maybe this feels I don't know,
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: she's saying this as some kind of deeper meaning. She's
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: so irresistible to Marcus that he's willing to cross these
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: lines that should never be crossed. It's a it's like
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: a type of fantasy.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: It makes me feel able. Maybe Daniel doesn't bring it
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: to Tory. Maybe he's especially with a wedding coming up,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: maybe he's also feeling cold feet and he's not making
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: her feel special enough.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: Well, it does bring up the question of what it's like,
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: is there a comparison between the too And she doesn't
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: want to compare Daniel to Marcus, but it much it
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: might bring to light some things that aren't working within
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: that relationship.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: If you're just Okay, this is all we know. This
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: is it. We don't know anything more about Marcus or
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Daniel or Toy. Would you say that this marriage is doomed?
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: I think that this marriage. I think there's some things
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: that need to.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Be looked at.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: Okay, I mean it's I mean, I think the whole
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: family system is you know, concerning to me about moving,
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: you know, marrying into a family system where there's this
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: subtext of betrayal.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because what if the dad gets involved or.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Something, Oh, don't bring him do it? Oh my god? Okay, well, Lynnette,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for calling.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: So what do you.
• 10:48
  Speaker 7: Think, you know what she needs to walk away from
• 10:52
  Speaker 7: this because we're already looking at it. This is a
• 10:56
  Speaker 7: bad deal. The brother crossed the lines, all of that.
• 11:00
  Speaker 7: But if her heart, in her spirit and everything that
• 11:05
  Speaker 7: comes with it is open to have received something like that,
• 11:09
  Speaker 7: she should not be getting married.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: M I think that's a good point.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of what you were saying in a way
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: like this needs to be addressed before anyone moves on.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: We only have six months before the wedding and a
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: lot of response to to Tory. Should we go to
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Jamie Ryan?
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: All right, So Jamie, you think that this is way, way,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: way out of line.
• 11:32
  Speaker 7: What if he's testing her too, you know what, I mean,
• 11:35
  Speaker 7: to see if she like she really.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Oh that's diabolical. You think he put his brother up to.
• 11:40
  Speaker 7: It could be too, you know, just to see if
• 11:43
  Speaker 7: she's really the one.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: What about that?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Oh god, Jamie, none of us were thinking that way,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: but that could be.
• 11:52
  Speaker 7: I mean, what if this happened before or something, you know,
• 11:55
  Speaker 7: I don't know, or then the brother could go back
• 11:58
  Speaker 7: and be like, she's not the one.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Thanks for your input.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: You're welcome. Have fun, guys, Oh, have fun.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Sarah doesn't never tell you to have fun.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: And Sarah have a great time, have a great time.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: I don't think this is what's going on. I mean,
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: is it possible, of course, But that's I mean, you
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: use the word diabolical a type of deviousness that's really shocking.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: I think that would be even more shocking than Marcus's
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: crossing of a boundary that is really really pretty strict.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I wish I could see Marcus. I know, I'm kind
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: of like, Okay, we know he lives in Miami, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: we know that he's crossing a lot of boundaries, right,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I just I can picture him like the classic like
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Tan Fit. Yeah, I don't know a guy who comes in,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: loves him.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: And leaves him, right, I mean the psychology is fascinating
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: about somebody who would actually do this. I mean this
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: is like, I mean like dateline kind of Yeah.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Do people sometimes fit their problems? Like do their looks
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: go with their problems? It does like a serial killer
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: look like a serial like. Okay, so you're treating someone
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: like a Marcus. Do they usually look the part?
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: Sometimes they do? And then sometimes you'll have somebody who
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: so does not look at the part. Okay, That in
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: and of itself is an interesting element.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like some nerdy man who's really secretly a casva, like.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: Some gentle, timid soul will describe himself as a lady's man.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: I mean, that has happened before, and it isn't It's interesting?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: All right, Well, let's go to Mundo Mundo. Thanks. We're
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: trying to get to all these calls for Sarah, but
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: you say this is a huge red flag.
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: Yeah, she's gonna be a problems later on.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Man, if any guy, every guy that comes with texts to.
• 13:47
  Speaker 8: Her or she meets somebody as just casual, you never
• 13:52
  Speaker 8: know what's gonna happen with it.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: So I think she's going to be a problem perss Okay.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: She's a wild card. And so do you think she
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: should break off the engagement and cancel the wedding?
• 14:03
  Speaker 8: Oh yeah, definitely, because she's she I mean, she just
• 14:06
  Speaker 8: met the brother for the first time and all of
• 14:09
  Speaker 8: a sudden she's already having feend for him.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Do you think she'll end up with the brother?
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: Uh?
• 14:15
  Speaker 8: Yeah, because I've you know, there's marriage. I mean, there's
• 14:20
  Speaker 8: family members that will go with the cousin you know,
• 14:22
  Speaker 8: I mean, or you know, or the uncle you know.
• 14:24
  Speaker 8: So I mean I've met people like that and and
• 14:27
  Speaker 8: it's kind of like, man, you know, I don't know
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: how you could do that, especially it's family. So yeah,
• 14:32
  Speaker 8: she might, she might go with the brother and she
• 14:34
  Speaker 8: won't care about the family because you know, she's gonna,
• 14:37
  Speaker 8: like you said, she's going to just think through her heart,
• 14:39
  Speaker 8: not through her mind.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: But thanks Mundo, says big, No, cancel everything.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I waste the money.
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: I wouldn't spend all that money.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Get your deposit back. Yeah, yeah, it's still time.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: At one point he put his hand on my lower
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: back to move past me, and I swear my whole
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: body lit up.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: You know, und does break up. A good point is
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: she responding to other men like this as this happened
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: before in her life, where she just feels like there's
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: this magic electricity.
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: It's you know, yeah, are some people, Sarah, would you
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: say they're.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: They just they're addicted to feeling wanted.
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: They are absolutely okay, it's feeling desired is just such
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: an integral part of who they are as a person's
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: It plays into their ego strength in a way that
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: I think can be really self destructive ego strength.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: So that must come from like maybe you weren't picked
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: for the kickball team, or you know, you had like
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: low confidence as a kid. Does it go back to
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: your childhood.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: And it's like a type of yeah, I mean it
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: can definitely do that. Like if you're trying to replay
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: something from your childhood and fix it and change the outcome.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: If you never felt desired, wanted, prioritized. Then you could
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: seek that repeatedly as an adult.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: To the point of destructant a destruction for yourself, like
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: you prioritize that over anything.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, woah, you absolutely see that.
• 16:08
  Speaker 7: Whoa.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I feel like Toy and Marcus might be made for
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: each other actually interesting, you know, And maybe Daniel's just
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: a stepping stone to Marcus and they deserve each other.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: They can have each other and destroy each other.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, do you definitely see it in narcissists where
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: that need for admiration is paramount.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Man, Well, I hope that you know. I don't know.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: We got to do a follow up on this one, guys,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: because I don't think the wedding should happen.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it certainly needs to be postponed and a lot
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: of I think a lot of inner work needs to
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: be done on Tory's part.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I wonder if we could book a sash with you
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and Marcus.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: I would love to do a session with Marcus, Tory, Daniel,
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: the boy's mother, father, everybody.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Right, guys, We'll be right back. And as being tempted, yike,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: she's married to Aaron and now there's a big temptation
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Well, I has to do with a firefighter in a uniform,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: muscles and mojo and a big old mustach. Okay, and
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I want some therapy. You've come to the right place, Anna,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: we give you licensed therapist Sarah dash Say Hi.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Hi, Sarah, Hi Anna.
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: How are you doing well?
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, I've been better to be honest with you.
• 17:33
  Speaker 8: Okay, what's going on?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: I don't feel very good about myself. And I'm married
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: to a really, really good man. His name's Aaron. We've
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: been together eight years, we're married now for five. But
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: I love him, I really love him. But I'm starting
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: to wonder, m maybe if it's not the same thing
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: as desire hiring someone because I don't want him anymore?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well, like physically or in your life, or like
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: did he do something?
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, just physically. It's not like you know
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: how things slow down after you know, the first couple
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: of years. It's not like that. It's like I I
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: really avoid being intimate with my own husband.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, and always was you know, was your physical connection
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: with your husband? How was it at the beginning? I
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: know you said it was stronger, but can you tell
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: us a little bit more about that.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Well, sure, I mean, you know, everybody in the first
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: couple of years is just horribly passionate, right, and it
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: was great. We had a great time, and you know,
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: we never really wanted for anything.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, but but something changed.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So you used to get turned on by him and
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: the sex life was vibrant and bountiful.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and now I'm pretending like I got a headache,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: or I'll pick a fight with him so he's mad
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: at me, or you know, just something so I don't
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: have to have to deal with the okay, cool situation.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: So at this point, you're actively avoiding the intimacy.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: I am absolutely are you.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: Filling it with something like what like are you are
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: you still do you still feel like a desire to
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: have sex?
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: Well, that's part of the big problem. That's why I
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: don't feel too good about myself. So I have become
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: completely obsessed with this good looking firefighter on social media.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: I message him frequently and he responds okay. So I
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: think about him more and more, and I think about
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: my husband less and less.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: Okay, So you know he used to go ahead, So Anna,
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: you're displacing your energy onto this firefighter.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: All right, tell me more, what is what is displacing?
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: You're taking what was once in your marriage and now
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: it's no longer in your marriage. It's outside of the marriage,
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: it's onto somebody else. And I'm wondering, so did I'm
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: curious as to whether you know, you describe it as
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: an obsession. Did that precede your lack of interest in
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: your husband?
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they both kind of came on simultaneously. Okay, I
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: don't know. I don't Did he change?
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: Did something happen? Did you guys get in an argument?
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Did he gain a bunch of weight? Like I'm wondering
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: if there was a switch that went on that that.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: No gave you the you know? I just I just
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: found this this firefighter guy, and I mean he's muscled down,
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: got lots of mojo. I mean, he's got this good
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: look and I don't want to say like a seventies
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: movie star, if you know what I mean.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: You mean like a porn stash.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I meant. And it is very it's
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: very hot. And I just I don't know if Aaron
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: knew that I was spending emotional energy on another man,
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I think you would crush him, even though I have
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: never met the man in person.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: Right, Well, the fact that you've never met him in person,
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: I think maybe one of the reasons why you're able
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: to fantasize about him so extensively.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Oh interesting, I mean, this this.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: Isn't about like you're you're not choosing between two men.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: You're choosing between a fantasy and reality.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, is it? Is it emotional cheating? I mean,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think it.
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: I think it meets the criteria for emotional cheating. I'm
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: curious as to what Ellen and Ryan think about that.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I also feel like you're escaping. You're escaping your life
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: if you're fantasizing this much. So that's why I wanted
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: to know if Aaron did something to make you feel
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: icky about him, so then you can just escape into
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: this other world.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Right. No, Aaron's a great man. This is on me,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: and that's why I told you at the beginning that
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: I just don't feel good about myself anymore. I don't know,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I don't know why I'm doing this. I have everything
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: great in my life. I mean, financially, we're together where
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: he makes me laugh, we're compatible, we're kind to each other.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: It's just not there.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: Okay, and I'm going to caution you from judging yourself
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: so harshly because you know, like, think about it. You've
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: sent some text messages, he's responded, but you've never met him.
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: This is not something that you can't very easily walk
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: back from.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, but you are going to need.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: To reinvest in your marriage. Your marriage is going to
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: need to be the priority, and you want to really
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: figure out what's going on. Why the desire for your
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: husband has dropped. Why are you displacing it onto somebody
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: that you don't know?
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Should I buy him like a firefighter out hit?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, if.
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: That'll do it.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Listen.
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: I know that that's funny. You're probably joking, but I
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: had that same thought. I was going to say, is
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: there any way that you can take this energy?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: Is pent up whatever focus you're putting on Mojo man
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: mustache guy and just I don't know, even if it
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: has to get you through it, pretend your husband is
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: this guy? Yeah, Like, can you think about him while
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: you have sex with your husband? Like a like a
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: like a like you used.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: To you know what, I don't know, I've never tried
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: to do that before.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Try it so well?
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: But what about this and this is kind of a
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: serious question. And Ryan, I love your idea of the
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: dress up. I think that that's you know, that's great
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: to find a really realistic fireman.
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: Even just close your eyes and pretend your husband into
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: this guy.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: We've all done it.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: But I'm just wondering, like, Anna, is it all him
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: or is some of it you? Is he not attracted
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: to you anymore? Are you not taking care of yourself
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: or being as desirable or flirty with him? Or did
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: you like, look, we all slump into that. I'm just
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: gonna go home and put my sweats on and I'm
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: not going to wear my lingerie anymore. Whatever, Like, maybe
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: try going down your own sexual avenue with with dressing
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: up yourself.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: Okay, And I'm going to ask you a question. It's
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: sort of along those lines. Do you feel sexy and attractive?
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: Do you feel sexy?
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Not not?
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: Are you doing everything right? But do you feel sexy?
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like a sexual being?
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: I do want I'm messaging the firefighter.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, that's actually giving you a lot.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Of Okay, here was the next thing.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Sarah's got some important to say. But is he real firefighter?
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Or is this like, is he cosplay online and he's
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: doing this with multiple women.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Well, since I never actually intended to meet him in person,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I don't really care, and I'm not going to send
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: him money or anything crazy like that. You know my
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: aunt means of the hot operation. You know, I don't
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: think so, so I don't think it would hurt anything,
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: but I still think it might hurt my husband's feelings
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: and I don't want to do that.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Well, Sarah had something important to say. I'm sorry to
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: interrupt you.
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: No, No, you're you're fine. I just I guess what
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I'm hearing is that it's more about how you feel
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: about yourself when you're interacting with a firefighter, and believe
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: it or not, this has very very little to do
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: with him. Oh, this is about you, about your relationship
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: to yourself, to your own sexuality, and you're gonna have
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: to dig a little deeper as to why that's not
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: happening in your marriage anymore.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know. This guy's pretty good looking. If I
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: sent you a pick, you might change your mind on that,
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: but it could be true.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Do you want to be married? Do you want to
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: be married to your husband?
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Well? Yeah, but like I said, everything in a relationship
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: is great.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: Everything in your relationship is not great.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: You keep saying that, well, because we get along really well,
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: and we have money in the bank because we're you know,
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: we are thrifty together, not cheap, but you know, and
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: we've got it. We own our own house, and that's
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: nothing about it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: That's not about him.
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: And that's like saying, you know, the cake was really good,
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: except I forgot to add flour, like this needs certain ingredients,
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: and a marriage, a healthy relationship has to have all
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: of these things, and you're missing this one.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: And she's saying that the cake is great, but I
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: don't eat cake, right, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: a great cake. I don't do cake.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: So I don't know that.
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: I think you're telling yourself you have a great life,
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: and I think you're telling yourself you want to be married.
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: I think you don't want to be married to your husband.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: No, well, I'm thinking about rubbing cake on the firefighter.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, oh my god.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't think I have to be honest with
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: him because he's living the life the same life. I am, like,
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: he knows that we're not intimate, so I don't have
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: to tell him he's not stupid.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Well, it's not.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: About you telling him that you're not intimate. It's about
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: you saying that you don't feel connected to him in
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: a way that you used to, in a way that
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: you would like to hopefully. I mean, do you want
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: to feel the same attraction to your husband that you
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: feel for this firefighter or you are completely content with
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: outsourcing your sexual energy the way you are?
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Well, no, I but that's why I said maybe I'll
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: buy him his own firefighter outfit, because I think maybe
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: that would just, you know, turn everything around. And I mean,
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: guys do it all the time. They watch a sexy
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: movie and then they say, hey, for me, why don't
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: we try it? And I'm like, well, because I'm I'm
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: not a porn star another gymnast, I don't.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Then I don't bend that way. How can you knew
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: how to finish your Saturday?
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: I figure that's where she was at Jesus.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: So you know, I guess you know, if I could
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: try that avenue and really see if we can reconnect
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: and spark again.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and here here's another thing. Can you live without Aaron?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Like if this were all to blow up in your face?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Because you said that he would be devastated if he
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: knew how much emotional energy you are spending on this
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: firefighter and say, say it blows up in your face.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's what you want. Can you live without Aaron?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: If Aaron says, you know, f you, I'm out of here?
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: What's your life like?
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Very sad? Okay, pitiful sad?
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, Well then you need to really work on
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: reinvesting in your marriage. And if it means, you know,
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: bringing in some role play, I think that's a great idea.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: Okay that, yeah, I will.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: What do you can dress up as.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: A burning house?
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: I mean I don't know that's what you're going to say,
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: a burning first. I haven't give you mouth to mouth.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Oh do you know what do you compare her with
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: the firefighter? Okay, yeah, yes, the mouth?
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, she's.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're stuck save me?
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you're stuck.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: A damsel in distress something, Sarah?
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Do you see this a lot where with things had
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: to like literally go into another fantasy world to reignite
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: the spark that used to be there.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: I think fantasy can be really helpful. I think it's
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: really important that it be a shared fantasy. But when
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: it's a shared fantasy, I think it can be a
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: really beautiful erotic experience for both people.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, there you go. Oh, that sounds like a great idea.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: I think it is a good idea. The only thing
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: I'm a little worried about it if we do my
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: fantasy and then he comes back at me with one
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: of his own fantasies and I really hated, like, I
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: don't want to do that. I'm not dressing up like
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: a clown from the circus, And you squeak in my eyes.
• 30:42
  Speaker 6: Clearly he's not a man who's fantasizing about a female clown.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. That's what I'm saying is if
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: it's something weird, then I.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: Don't you know, wait, hold on, hold on, you just
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: use the word weird, because what if he I mean,
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: he's going to go. He's probably telling his friends. It's
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: not like she's gonna ask me to dress up like
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: a firefighter.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, come on, there's a certain sexual thing
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: this associated with firefighter's just like you know when the
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: strippers show up at your house addressed like a police
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: officer or something. Okay, and it's that's just kind of
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: like a in that genre of.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I just feel like you don't really know Aaron anymore.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Like if if if my husband wanted me to dress up,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I would know exactly what to do. I would know
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: exactly what to wear, what color I would I just
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: know him, I just know him.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Would it be would it be Princess Leah in the
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: outfit the gold bikini that she wore for Maybe.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: I was thinking it would be something red? Right, And
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: you mean what man wouldn't want that instant? Oh?
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: I think we should take a Breakay, hang on, hang
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: on in.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Go get my scissors.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Hold on, we'll be right back. Okay, we just want
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: to make sure that you're hung with us. Do you
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: feel like you have the tools you need to, you know,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: address yourself?
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel like everybody's brought really great points. So
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: I think that I need to go in at that
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: other direction, at that closeness with my husband direction, and
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: try to rekindle things.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, it may be sad when you said you'd be
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: so sad without Aaron, So I really I want you
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: to be with Aaron.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: That tells you what your priority is, and it's repairing
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: your marriage, and.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: That's what you're I mean, you're right. Yeah, Well, I
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: hope it's going to be a great thing. That's I'm
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: going to try.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: Hey, where did you meet the firefighter? By the way,
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: how'd you find this guy?
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Well, my friend of mine actually sent me his picture
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: and was like, oh my gosh, look at this guy.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: And then I, you know, kind of did a little
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: deep I'm the guy, and I was like, oh wow,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: he lives in the same city other than and I
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: was like.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Is he a or Instagram or Facebook? Or where.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: He is an Instagram? Okay, it's too easy. Well he
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: might be others. Yeah, and I don't care.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay, all right, Well and a hang in there.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Very will. I think I'll delete my DMS and go
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: from here.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I think that's a really good idea. M Sarah. When
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: the session ends and you and like, say, you're not
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: you feel satisfied, and you don't, like, what do you
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: say to your clients, like at the end, say that
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: hours up.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: I'll usually ask him if they feel comfortable in in
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: the session. I mean, I usually give enough space to
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: see if they're kind of ready, they're recalibrated to kind
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: of go back out into the world. Yeah, like you
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: don't in the session A roughly.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, So Anna, do you feel like you're
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: ready for the world.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like all the points that have been brought
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: up to me really made me think and it's really
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: given me an idea of going down a better path. Okay,
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: So yes, I feel like I'm ready to in this
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: session and to go out and find my joy. Yeah.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that hashtag erin save erin.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Thanks Anna, all right, thanks you guys.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: You're good, right, like we I can hang up the line.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: You're okay, I'm okay, everything's going to be okay. Good.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: So, Sarah, what do you think?
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: Well, I think that we're you know, we were talking
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: about two different women who are willing to risk a
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: lot for something that's not real.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, is this coming?
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: It does happen because I think our fantasy life can
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: become too real if we don't tend to what's going
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: on in our real life. When we're not addressing those problems,
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: we tend to retreat into fantasy more often. It's just
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: a sign. It's a sign that we need to be
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: mindful about what's going on with the people who are
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: actually in our lives who we do.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: Love, and then these problems rage out of control like
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: a fire. Thank God, I know a firefighter we can
• 35:28
  Speaker 5: call