Latest / The Burnout Podcast with Fexingo: Workplace Exhaustion, Recovery, and Sustainable Careers / The Invisible Tax of Proximity Bias at Work
Transcript
- Lucas: If we've helped you think through a career move or decision lately, you know that small monthly support really keeps these episodes ad-free and consistent. It costs about as much as a cup of coffee each month. Luna: Exactly. If you want to help keep the network running, check out buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It genuinely makes a difference. Lucas: Thanks for that. Now, let's get back to where we were heading. We've talked a lot about burnout as an internal state, but today I want to look at it as an external structural trap. Specifically, I want to talk about proximity bias. It's one of those invisible taxes on your career that most people don't even realize they're paying until they miss a promotion. Luna: Oh, right. The idea that being seen equals being valued. Does that feel like it's gotten worse with hybrid work, or just more obvious? Lucas: It's definitely both. When everyone was fully remote during the pandemic, proximity bias didn't exist because there was no proximity. But now that we are back in offices two or three days a week, a new hierarchy has emerged. It's not based on merit or output anymore. It's based on who sits closest to the manager's door, or who shows up to the office when the boss is there. Luna: So it's basically reactivating the old school favoritism but dressing it up as availability? That sounds exhausting to navigate. Lucas: Precisely. And the tricky part is that it's subconscious. Most managers aren't trying to be unfair. They are just human beings wired to trust what they can see. If I can walk over to your desk and ask a quick question, I remember your name better. I recall your contribution to the meeting last Tuesday. If you are remote, I have to dig through Slack history to find out what you did. So my brain defaults to the person I can see. Luna: That's such a simple cognitive shortcut, but it completely warps resource allocation. Who gets the good projects then? Lucas: The visible ones. The high-visibility projects, the stretch assignments, the mentorship opportunities. These rarely go to the person doing excellent work quietly from home. They go to the person who laughed at the boss's joke in the hallway yesterday. It creates a feedback loop where the in-office team gets richer in experience and visibility, while the remote team gets stuck maintaining status quo tasks. Luna: So if you're remote full-time, you're essentially fighting against your own biology and your manager's laziness? How do you break that cycle? Lucas: You have to manufacture visibility, but not the kind that looks like busyness. There is a difference between performing activity and demonstrating impact. A lot of remote workers try to compensate by over-communicating, sending too many updates, turning on their cameras constantly. That just leads to fatigue. You need strategic visibility instead. Luna: Strategic visibility. I like that term. What does that actually look like in practice? Is it just talking more in meetings? Lucas: Talking is only half of it. Writing is your superpower if you use it right. In an office, ideas often happen in whiteboard sessions or casual chats. Those moments are lost on remote workers unless someone documents them. If you send a concise, well-structured summary after a project milestone, you are creating a paper trail that exists before the manager has to ask for it. You are forcing the memory into their head via text. Luna: So you're preempting the forgetfulness. You're making sure your work is undeniable before they even have a chance to overlook it. Lucas: Exactly. And you have to control the narrative of your contributions. Don't wait for the annual review to list your wins. Drop them in weekly updates. Tag relevant stakeholders. Make it easy for your manager to copy-paste your achievements into their own reporting documents. Managers are lazy too. If you hand them the words to praise you, they will likely use them. Luna: That's brilliant. It turns your communication into a tool for advocacy rather than just coordination. But what about the emotional toll? Doesn't that constant self-promotion feel fake or stressful? Lucas: It feels unnatural if you are used to letting your work speak for itself. But here is the reality check: in a proximity-biased world, silence is interpreted as absence. If you don't advocate for yourself, nobody else will. The stress comes from thinking you should be rewarded for quiet competence. You won't be. You will be rewarded for visible competence. Luna: So the system is broken, and we just have to play a slightly different game to survive it? That feels heavy. Lucas: It is heavy, which is why it contributes to burnout. You are working harder not just to do the job, but to prove you are doing the job. That extra layer of labor is invisible tax. But there is another angle. You also have to manage your manager's perception of your reliability. Remote workers are often judged on output, but managers worry about engagement. You have to bridge that gap. Luna: How do you show engagement when you aren't physically present? Is it about response times? Lucas: Response times matter, but tone matters more. Being the person who brings energy to a virtual call is huge. If you join a meeting five minutes early, test the audio, and greet everyone warmly, you stand out. If you jump in and immediately solve the problem everyone is stuck on, you establish authority. These are low-effort, high-impact behaviors that counteract the distance. Luna: So it's about being the calm center of the chaos. Making yourself indispensable in the flow of information. Lucas: Yes. And don't underestimate the power of the one-on-one. If you are remote, schedule regular video calls with your manager. Not just status updates. Real conversations about career goals. Ask for feedback. Show that you are invested in the company's future. face to face interaction, even digital, builds trust faster than email chains. Luna: I never thought about framing the one-on-one as a trust-building exercise rather than just a check-in. That shifts the whole dynamic. Lucas: It does. Because right now, many remote workers treat those calls as administrative necessities. They clear their inbox and hang up. You need to treat them as relationship investments. If your manager likes you and trusts you, they will fight harder to justify your promotion, even if you aren't in the office every day. Luna: What if your manager is actively biased though? Like, they openly prefer in-office people? Then all the strategy in the world might not work. Lucas: Then you have to escalate or exit. Sometimes the bias is institutional. If your company culture rewards presence over productivity, no amount of strategic visibility will save you. You will always be the second choice. In that case, the best move is to document your success rigorously and start looking elsewhere. Your career is too valuable to spend it fighting a losing battle against a flawed system. Luna: That's a tough pill to swallow, but honest. Knowing when to stop playing the game and just leave is a skill in itself. Lucas: Absolutely. Burnout often comes from staying in a place where the rules are rigged against you. Recognizing proximity bias is the first step. Either you adapt your strategy to beat it, or you recognize that the environment is toxic to your growth. Both are valid choices, but they require awareness. Luna: So the takeaway isn't just 'work harder remotely.' It's 'make your value impossible to ignore.' Lucas: Spot on. Make your value undeniable. Whether that means better documentation, stronger relationships, or finding a company that actually measures output. Don't let your location define your potential. Luna: I hope listeners take that away. Your output is what matters, not your chair location. Lucas: Right. And if you are a manager listening, maybe ask yourself who really gets the best opportunities on your team. Is it the hardest worker, or just the loudest voice in the room? It's worth checking. Luna: Yeah, that self-reflection could change everything for a whole team. Thanks for shedding light on this invisible tax. Lucas: Anytime. Let's see if we can make visibility fairer, one strategy at a time.