Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.77 | Expanding Your Capacity to Do Hard Things, with Corene Phelps, Hypnotherapist

Transcript

Ep.77 | Expanding Your Capacity to Do Hard Things, with Corene Phelps, Hypnotherapist · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast, the show for intentional business owners and curious minds looking to combine the inner work and outer work to create a life, business, and career that feels deeply fulfilling and wildly aligned on all levels.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: We're your hosts.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Shay.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Mariah.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: We're two business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success in a way that combines both strategy and energetics.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: So this podcast started with both of us being in the online business world, craving more deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: So we decided to come together and create a space to do just that.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Our guest interviews highlight cool humans doing cool shit, chasing their dreams, and going down their own rabbit holes to create a more sustainable and fulfilling life in whatever way that means for them.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: We see this podcast as everything that people won't share on social media.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: We don't give a fuck about highlight reels or proven frameworks.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: We love getting in the weeds, asking the tough questions, and doing the work to create a life and career we love, all while committing to ourselves and our personal growth.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because only through that lens can we truly create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready to trust the nudge and let curiosity guide the way?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're excited to shake shit up and live outside the box with you.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, friends, we have a special guest to share with you guys today.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: We are interviewing Corine Phelps, who is a hypnotherapist and um kind of a renaissance woman herself.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: She has a really cool backstory.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: She started as a D1 athlete, then had a successful career in luxury real estate and has now pivoted into hypnotherapy, mentorship, helping people with nervous system regulation issues.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so this idea of nervous system regulation is something that's been on Mariah and I's radar.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like if you're online these days, or at least in my Instagram feed, it's something that pops up over and over and over again.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I like the idea.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds nice, regulated nervous system.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: But I haven't, I don't really know much more about it than that, you know.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we were really excited to have Karine on, um, who has done quite a bit of work, gone through her own personal journey, but also brings in the science and the grounded.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: She's maybe one of the most grounded guests we've ever had.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like just having her on instantly made me feel really kind of uh connected and calm.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so just her energy is amazing.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: But then how she kind of weaves in the science to all of this stuff and how she really helped me reframe some beliefs or understandings I had about what is nervous system regulation, like what's the end goal there and what am I working towards?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we talk a lot about high functioning freeze, which is a state I think a lot of us that are really kind of up in our heads a lot can get into.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: So this episode weirdly weaves together a lot of the themes that Maria and I have been discussing this season.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we've both listened to it again, and it's it's a really powerful episode with a ton of um gems and value.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm really excited to share it with you guys.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and the way that Corine explains things, the way that she educates and the way that she elaborates and the analogies that she uses in order to really ground things down, helped a bunch of things like in the episode really click into place.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, I've been exploring nervous system regulation and hypnotherapy and all of that stuff, but like the way that she combines them is really, really what intrigued me about her process and how she supports people and really what we wanted to dive into in this episode.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that we fucking hit it out of the park, honestly.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um what I love about her is that it's just like her grounded approach.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not like the fluffy foo-foo bullshit.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like it really is just like shifting how we think about things, making things really fucking practical.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And her story is one that I think that a lot of us can relate to.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: So her bio here, Corrine Phelps, a former D1 athlete who left a successful career in luxury real estate for entrepreneurship, investing, and personal development.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: As a renowned expert in personal transformation, Corrine is dedicated to helping individuals break free from limiting beliefs and create a life of abundance.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: With her qualifications as a nervous system success coach, breathwork therapist, master NLP practitioner, and clinical hypnotherapist, Corrine brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to empower you on your journey toward optimal well-being and performance.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And with that, let's get into the episode.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: All right, Corinne.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that your zone of genius aligns so well with what we're doing here on the podcast and the conversations that we like to have on the podcast.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Can you take us back, though, to the beginning a little bit, like as far back as you feel called to?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: But like, how did you start diving into this world of like nervous system regulation and breath work and hypnotherapy?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like a lot of us have this story where it's like we hit a certain point and then something triggers and then we dive deep into this world.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: So can you just take us back into your into your beginning?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I was a Pilates and yoga instructor for about 15 years.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: And it's really funny because uh just recently I had this like aha moment that I was actually doing nervous system regulation, like way before I actually knew I was doing nervous system regulation through this like somatic movement, which Pilates and yoga are.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_03: But I reached a moment in that, in that career where I was so burnt out.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, I walked into an emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like 37 years old when that happened.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: So heart attacks should not be happening to a 37-year-old, a healthy 37-year-old.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: And the doctor was like, No, you are not having a heart attack.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: You are having a basically anxiety panic attack.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm pretty sure it's because you're completely maxed out, burnt out.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: And that was like the third time actually that I had experienced burnout.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_03: But this time was, you know, every time it gets a little bit worse of anything when you don't heed these messages that are coming in.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so this time it was a two by four on the back.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I knew I was like, goodness, what are what's gonna change?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what is it gonna take for you to get the message?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: And especially because this is the kind of work that I was working with my clients for.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: So this was a massive moment of diff, like a defining moment of having to shift and change.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: And part of that panic and burnout that was happening for me at that moment, too, was outside of literally burning the candle at both ends, getting up and working, like getting up at like 5 a.m., 4:30 a.m., and working until sometimes 10 p.m.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: every single night, six, seven days a week.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, there was some things going on behind the scenes, which was my finances and money mindset was completely in the garbage, in the in the shitter, if you will, really.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: And it kind of didn't make sense because outwardly everyone would have thought that I had it completely together.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: I had a large income, um, like multiple six figures I was earning as a fitness instructor, drove a nice car, all the, I mean, I had all the things, uh, but yet on the backside, I it was just like treading water at my, I was spending more than I was making.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I wasn't saving, I wasn't, and I was just a lot, a lot, a big mess, right?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: And so this was the moment.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: So that was like driving the burnout, that was driving the anxiety and the panic.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where it all really, really began my curiosity as like why I kept repeating these patterns, because I dug myself out of debt before, but had just re-accumulated it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'd also made some really bad repetitive decisions in relationships.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: And these were my two big places.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: And if spoiler, money and love actually have like a direct dial-up connection to each other.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: And so that was something I needed to work out.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I started through subconscious reprogramming, I dove into an NLP certification, basically for I said it was for my clients, but I it was really for myself.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: And that was where I found hypnotherapy and started using it to reprogram my subconscious mind using hypnotherapy and then subliminals.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: Those were the two big things.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: And it took me pretty far.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: And one day I found myself in a wealth workshop, which was actually a combination breath work workshop.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: And this was where the breath work came in.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: And that was probably about, I don't know, like eight, nine months into my journey with NLP, hypnotherapy, subconscious reprogramming.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_03: And my first experience with breath work was actually kind of like I walked away thinking, like, did that even do anything?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it must have left enough of an impression on me that I kept kind of like snooping out certifications.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: And then I ended up in another breath work class out of curiosity.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: And it was the second one that really blew my mind, just completely cracked me open.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: And that was when I was like, oh, breath work and hypnosis together.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: Whoa, this could really be a real game changer.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: That was actually the question I had for you was where does subconscious reprogramming, breath work, hypnosis, and then money mindset all come together?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's a really interesting combination of things.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, typically we're seeing someone that specializes in hypnotherapy or someone that specializes in breath work.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a big breath work fan myself.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah's into hypnotherapy.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: I definitely understand about how transformative those two pieces of the puzzle can be.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm curious if you don't mind rewinding a little bit.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: If you can remember as much as you can back to that point where you're in the hospital, you're hearing about the anxiety attack.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: What were like the first steps you started taking to begin your journey towards nervous system regulation?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like what did the very beginning baby steps look like?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it was some books.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_03: I started reading books, and I can't, I actually can't remember what the very first book was that opened my mind to the idea of subconscious reprogramming.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: It might have been, uh, it was definitely a wealth book.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: I can't think of any, I can't think of which one it was right now, but it was a lot of subconscious reprogramming going on inside of there.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_03: And then someone mentioned NLP.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of a sudden, like it was somebody in a networking group that I was in.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of a sudden, I started looking and it was like NLP was coming up everywhere.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody I saw every person's profile was like NLP.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, what the heck is this NLP thing?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: I've never even heard of it before.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: Why is it?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing it everywhere.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_03: Which, as we know now, you know, your uh reticular activating system, once something's on your radar, just like picks it up everywhere.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, of course, what was happening, and so that was my message that this was what I needed to lean into.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: So it was definitely some reading.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm a verocious reader, and so anytime I'm I'm thinking I need to figure something out, I start reading.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: And oftentimes, though, to tell you the truth, I don't necessarily go like, oh, I'm looking for this specific book.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: I have, as you can see behind me, eight million books.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I will literally just walk over to my bookshelf and just pull one out.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: And it's always exactly the one that I needed.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: And that's exactly what happened with that book.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: I had it on my shelf, somebody had gifted it to me, or it'd like come in like a mastermind that I was in or something like that.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's really helpful because I think people, perhaps someone's listening to this, if you're in the beginning steps, it's hard to, oh, how do I get to step 25 when I feel like I'm in full panic?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I agree.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of times for me, a lot of the big pivotal moments in my life have been fueled by curiosity and a book.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Mariah and I both have books that were so pivotal to us along our journeys.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm curious, would you mind?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I feel like I kind of know what subconscious reprogramming is in NLP, but can you kind of give us the basics of like what and why?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sure.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: So NLP stands for neurolinguistic programming, which in very simple terms is essentially how we take in information, which is through our five senses.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: And the connection to nervous system regulation with that is your nervous system is the bridge between you and the outside world.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_03: And how do we interpret the outside world through our senses?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so they're deeply connected together.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: Subconscious reprogramming is really basically if you think of your brain as the same way as your your iPhone works, right?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like a computer operating system.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Your subconscious is formed and really created from zero to seven.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: It keeps forming and it's very impressionable and changeable at any time during during your life.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_03: But the real, the real like formative time is from zero to seven.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: And if we don't consciously go in and upgrade that programming that was solidified and written during zero to seven, then we're essentially running on a program that was like it's a seven-year-old driving the bus, essentially.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: And so when we want to go in and upgrade that system, essentially we have to rewrite it, which is a deciding what you want it to be, right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: You have to know where you're going, what you want, how you want to think, how you want to feel, what thoughts you want to change in order to change them.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: And the combination of when we bring in breath work and hypnosis together is the breath work allows you to really rapidly open the doors to your subconscious mind way more quickly than if you were just doing a hypnosis on your own.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: So it floods your body with oxygen, changes that the carbon dioxide oxygen level in the body, changes your brain waves.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_03: And now all of a sudden the doors are wide open.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: And all of a sudden, when we're there, you can start to see the root cause of things.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: And with the breath doing this, you start to move that energy, move that stuckness out of your body.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: And then we use the hypnosis piece to actually start to change what's what's written inside of the subconscious there.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: And for anyone listening who's not sure about hypnosis, hypnosis really is just meditation with a very, very specific goal in mind.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: Instead of being this kind of like wide open thing, it's much more specific, much more intentional with an outcome on the other side of it.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for thanks for diving in and just giving that explanation.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's really good to hear how people explain these things in different ways, because like I've heard of NLP a bunch of times.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard of all of this stuff a bunch of times, but like to hear somebody specifics, like perspective, I feel like it just like helps lock in and like make connections.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully our listeners are getting that too.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad that you brought up like the zero to seven, because I feel like in society, so often it's it's kind of like a joke, right?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh my God, I said that thing and I'm totally acting like my mom.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like I didn't want to be like my mom, but like, holy shit, I'm my mom.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like now we're starting to understand like why you're acting like your mom.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because if your mom was your main caretaker, or at least part of your life back then, between zero and seven, you're absorbing all of the ways that she's interacting with the world.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, that's creating your hard drive.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: And we used to think that the brain was like set, like, this is my personality, man.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: You get what you get, like, I am who I am, type thing.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: But now it's like, okay, you are who you are to a certain extent, but like how cool that we get to shift that if you want to.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think just that piece of like letting people know that like who you are today doesn't have to be who you are tomorrow, is such a breath of fresh air because in society it's so it's a lot more fixed mindset.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like so many of us that are in like this personal development world, like me and Shay are obsessed with it.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you're, you know, you're in it too.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And like we think that because we're in this world of personal development and a little bit more growth mindset of like, I'm gonna learn this and adapt to this and the awareness of that.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: We think that everybody thinks like that.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not true.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I get reminded of that, like in every single conversation that I have with my family.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, hello, people over here.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: But I like the fact that like we're starting to understand how the brain works in a more empowering way, because how fucking cool.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I like the fact that you combine breath work and hypnotherapy because hypnotherapy, although you're like in a meditative state and you're in your body and everything, it's still a little bit more mind-heavy.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's still a little bit more like intention in the head.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: But the breath work, we know, like we've had numerous conversations on this podcast about like getting back into your body.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: How do you get back into your body?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like tapping or breath work or something like that.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: But like it makes sense that if you want to get into the mind and set the intention and really allow it to sink in, that the first step in doing that is getting into the body.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of people don't know how to do that.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think you walking them through a breath work in order to do that, like I just really fucking love your approach and transparency.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've never taken anything of Corinne's.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have no idea how her actual experiences are, but I've listened to the podcast and just the way that you talk about this stuff, like I don't have any questions for you at this very moment.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I just want to say that like the way that you're doing things, like logically is like, oh duh, of course that's powerful.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Of course that works.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I think at the the explanate explanation piece, I think working in in my prior career of teaching yoga and and Pilates, I was always working with people who were very like high achiever, um, type A personalities.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: And especially when you're trying to get someone, Pilates was never hard, like a hard sell, but it was trying to get someone to maybe do a little bit of yoga, which it can be totally mainstream now.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_03: But when I first started, it wasn't exactly fully mainstream at that point.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: And the explanation piece of explaining to someone something that can seem over here, like totally out, like on the peripheral of or like fully immersed in the the woo-woo sort of certain things.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, no way I would never try that.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: But when you can start to really explain this like neurological neuroscience piece, it's like, oh, okay, I can get on board with that.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's not necessarily like you're trying to, you know, make take me down a path that I don't want to go on.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: And then all of a sudden you get them over there and they're like all in it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: They're looking crystals in their bra and doing all the things after that.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I love that.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: I have not gotten to crystals in my bra face, but I've definitely gone down the rabbit hole.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm curious, you know, nervous for me lately.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: My what is it?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Rec, I can't say that word, the activating system.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: What's the first part?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Your reticular activating.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: My wrath is um seeing nervous system regulation.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: That to me seems like the hot word these days.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm noticing it everywhere.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel like I know that my nervous system could be more regulated.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I do, you know, for me, typically more our least our listeners are very much what you described.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: We've spent a lot of, we're smart women, we spend a lot of time in our heads, getting connected with our bodies has been more of a challenge.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: So love that bridged approach.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: But tell me, like from your perspective, what I like how you explain things, what is regulating your nervous system and why do we all have such a struggle with it in today's society?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think you're seeing it everywhere because it's definitely trending.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to say that, you know, when something's trending, you always have to take things with a little bit of a grain of salt, right?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: Because now it's becoming like a how can I sell something?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna talk about nervous system regulation.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: So everyone put your healthy dose of um, you know, discernment on when it comes to that now.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: I just have I have to preface that.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: So nervous system regulation.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: One, it is not a destination.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: So that's the most important thing that you need to know is that you're never just going to arrive at a nerve, a regulated nervous system and then just stay there.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like diet.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like my brain is like, what do you mean?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's an island that I'm gonna get to.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if I get in the canoe and if I paddle hard enough, I'm gonna get to this island and we're we're gonna be stable as fuck.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, it's exactly.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's right, it's just like diet and exercise.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like we don't get to our goal weight and or our goal body and just stay there, right?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's maintenance.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_03: The other piece to understand is that your nervous system is like a highway, right?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's like up here at the top is this like pinnacle piece of like it's called ventral bagel, the like, oh my God, I'm in like utopia.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_03: And nervous system.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Regulation is also not just being calm all of the time.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: The place where we're all seeking to be is actually a blended state of the activation and sort of like peacefulness.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: It and it's actually when you hear flow state spoken about ventral vagal flow state, essentially almost like interchangeable terms.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: This highway that we're on on our nervous system, there is the rest and digest, which is the parasympathetic.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then there's the sympathetic.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's the part where we tend to feel like, oh my gosh, we're super stressed out, we're overwhelmed.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, the part where we're like kind of demonized.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: But we need to be able to be in a sympathetic state.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: The problem is when we get stuck there, when we're chronically living in that place, when we get addicted to the hormonal, physiology, physiological responses that come when we're in that state, and then we don't know how to get out of that state.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: And in fact, all of the other states start to feel unsafe.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_03: That's where the problem ends up being.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: So, for example, we need to be able to move into a sympathetic state.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like right here, right now, I'm a little bit in a sympathetic state because I'm talking to you, I'm excited about something, and I need to be able to move into that state to deliver something with passion and to be able to really explain what I'm explaining to you right now.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_03: But if I get stuck in this state all day long, it's going to tax my system, it's going to burn me out.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_03: When you hear people talking about adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion, that's a part of, you know, nervous system dysregulation.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: And in fact, almost every single disease that the human body experiences is actually a result of being stuck in your nervous system in some capacity.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost always starts or is flipped on by the nervous system, like a stress state, essentially.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: And so we want to be able to move down into that rest and digest state.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: But imagine if I was stuck in that state right now and I tried to talk to you guys, I would be like, well, nervous system regulation.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_03: And you guys would be like, who is this girl?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I need to be able to put my foot on the gas when it's time to put my foot on the gas.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_03: I need to be able to put my foot on the brake when it's time to put my foot on the brake, and do so in a way that when we're really like tuned into our hard nervous system, it's like a race car.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: Think of it like that.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: It turns on a dime, right?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: You can go up when you want to go up, down when you want to go down.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: The problem is a lot of times we have our foot on the gas and our foot on the brake at the same time.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: And imagine how awful that would be for your car.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's the same thing that's happening to your body.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad that Shay had you explain that.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: You are fantastic at explaining this shit.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting because our previous two podcast interviews, Dr.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: Gala and Dr.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Anu French, we talked about like subtle stress and then we talked about building resilience.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like this is we didn't plan for these conversations to flow in this order, but like the order of these conversations, it's like each one is kind of building on each other.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just really cool in terms of like reflection.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: So our listeners, if you haven't listened to Dr.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: Gala, if you haven't listened, listened to Dr.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Anu French, go and listen to those episodes.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I just want to point out that all three now have said all disease dis-ease starts at some point of stress or like dis dysregulation in the body.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: So very cool, very cool.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is awesome.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think, like, obviously, there's things, especially in the way that like modern society is created, that like it makes sense that we have fucking issues here.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: It makes sense that we're all running ragged or just like hustle, hustle.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I haven't ever like I've dove into nervous system regulation education and I've taken workshops and like I've been in courses and programs, but I haven't heard anybody explain it in that way with that analogy before.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard people explain it in other ways, but like it's a really good reminder that like we need both.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, the magic isn't getting to a place where you're just cruising.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're just like easy flow life.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, the magic is actually when you can downshift and upshift when you need to, and when you have the awareness of your body and you have the awareness of your nervous system to be able to see where you are so that you know if you should drop down or come back up.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think that that's really, really helpful and really empowering.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: My question is is the state that our nervous system is, like is in as an adult.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, we have adult shit that contributes to it, but like, is this also like our blueprint of our nervous system foundation?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Is that also created at ages zero to seven?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I'm a kid, zero to seven, and like some chaotic, traumatic shit happened, and my nervous system is like it's hot wired, you know what I mean?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's high wired up.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: Is that going to be my normal?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm just kind of like adding to that and operating, and that feels like my normal.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: So then it's even harder for me to drop back down into a parasympathetic state, or we don't know.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I would say, yes, kind of.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's your nervous system, is obviously you can expand the capacity of it.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: You're just mentioning capacity, and really that is our goal.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: When you think of your nervous system, think of it like a cup of water that when we're dysregulated, um, is like overflowing.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: And what our goal is to then move up to the next size glass.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that's that's our goal is to keep moving our expanding our capacity.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, trauma massively impacts our nervous system.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: And that same trauma is what happens is we start to learn how your body is like amazing, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_03: You're it's so amazing.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: It learns how to cope, which is when we get stuck in this sympathetic state or in a dorsal state, which I'll explain in just a second, um, is this like beautiful thing that your body has done to help you manage and cope.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: When we tend to live in one certain state or another, that does become almost our baseline of safety.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_03: We become accustomed to living in that place, even though it's not necessarily good for us or ideal for us.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: So when we move out of those other states, it feels very uncomfortable.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_03: It feels very foreign, and we want to do whatever it takes to move back into that state.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: Does that kind of make sense?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: So it's kind of like, yes, it we do.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: Trauma essentially forms it and creates it.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it that's the challenge of moving out of it.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: If we've been stuck in a state of like massive activation, and then all of a sudden you come down and more into like a kind of that rest and digest, and you're like, oh my gosh, like what's going on here?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: And that's we have patterns, right?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: This is where maybe we might pick a fight with a partner because there's not enough excitement going on, or we have to create work for ourselves that didn't really need to be done because we're overworking.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_03: We we need to stay in this like activated state, which leads to burnout.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, a lot of people who have experienced trauma and push themselves into work is a result of your nervous system and the trauma.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it's our like feeling not safe when it is that we're in a place where we might have to feel our feelings or slow down and experience what's going on around us.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's really powerful.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sitting here reflecting about myself.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um like what you're I love all your metaphors that you're using, that metaphor of like you need a bigger cup.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's so helpful for me.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'm thinking, you know, I'm coming out of a season several years ago, we got really tough news about my husband's health.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was definitely in like a state of panic for a long time.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I really resonate with what you're saying about um, once we got to a more stable place in real life, it was almost like my brain couldn't catch up.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was really stuck in that, like, I've got to be researching and planning and figuring and solving and fixing.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I got to a really run-down place.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I know what you're saying about like, even though I could, it'd be like time was on the weekends, you know, like I'm relaxing and I would like check in with my body and I'm like, I'm not relaxed.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd tell myself, like, hey, you can relax now.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, I don't know how to relax.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how to get back down into that, like rest and digest.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's what you're saying is building your capacity means building your resilience to kind of handle life's things and kind of travel between the two uh a little bit more successfully with a bigger cup, perhaps.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me about like um, I'm definitely walking the walk of building that capacity right now, but I'm curious when you do feel like you're in a place of stuck, like I am stuck in fight or flight.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I hear that over and over and over again.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: What does that look like?
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: Getting out of that, telling yourself that it's safe, like getting your body to catch up with your reality and being able to kind of get out of trauma and back into that kind of resilience building.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Interrupting this podcast episode, really quick.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: So we just wanted to pop in here and share with you something that we've launched that we think that you are going to love.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: The Design Your Dream Day, a lifestyle design workshop.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah and I designed this workshop three years ago, and we've held it live several times since then.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we get a lot of great feedback from it.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: So we really wanted to package this all up and put it together in more of an evergreen form, especially now that it's the top of the year and a lot of people are thinking about goal setting.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: But really, the point of this workshop, Mariah and I are constantly bitching about goal setting.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: We were really frustrated by the typical way that we had been taught to set goals.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, we're working with people that are constantly feeling stuck and needing a pivot but lacking clarity.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: So we kind of went to the drawing board, you know, what would it look like for us to set goals in a more intuitive, creative way, um, but a way that's also kind of grounded in neuroscience and how the brain works.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: So we did a bit of research, kind of tested some things and brought in some of our favorite practices that have been helpful for us in setting goals and intentions for the year or the season, whatever you're at right now.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um the workshop starts with a bit of um a hypnosis or a guided visualization.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's a really awesome time to tap into your more creative, childlike play side and let yourself dream big.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then we kind of start a little broad and work our way um a bit more towards groundedness, a bit more into the tangible.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so we really start with a big vision and then whittle it down into the actual steps that you can take starting today or tomorrow to actually get there.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: So it's intended to be um a bit of a high-level look, but also down in the weeds on the ground, what day-to-day steps you can take to actually get towards your vision.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And the the big message of the workshop, it's not really about the outcomes, right?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's more about shifting into a new identity.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: Who is this future version of you?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you, who, what do they prioritize?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: What are they devoted to?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: What do they want to spend their time on?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: And then how can we kind of reverse engineer that to let that influence um our lives and our typical day-to-day?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, like my favorite part about this workshop truly is the fact that like we start with the inner vision and then we bring it into the outer action, which I think that a lot of traditional goal setting doesn't really do.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: You usually start with the outer action, you don't start with your inner vision.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then a lot of like meditations and visual visualizations will start with the inner vision, but then they don't weave in the outer action.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I really love this process that we're gonna walk you through in the workshop.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: So you can learn more about the workshop or you can snag it over at curiouslyguided.com slash dream day.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: So we will put the links to that in the show notes, but let's take you back to the episode.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so what does it look like to start the process of moving out of it?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, one is the the awareness, right?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_03: That moment of being like, I am stuck is the like, oh, okay, I'm stuck and I want this to be different.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: I have this awareness around that.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_03: Everything starts with a level of awareness and a healthy dose of, well, this is what makes it easier a healthy dose of curiosity, right?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: So if we can be curious about it, that is really going to be the most helpful thing.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_03: When we're trying to get out of a stuck state in our nervous system, the most valuable thing you can do is focus on micro movements, micro actions.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: We live in a world that everything we want it to move quickly, we want it to move big steps.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_03: But the easiest and really probably the fastest way for you to do anything in this life is to focus on the micro.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_03: So if you can, if you're feeling stuck and you can decide like looking at the situation, what are three things you might be able to do?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then just do one of them.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: And that could just feel like maybe I put my running shoes on, like you're stuck and you feel like you need to move your body, but you cannot.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: And when we're in that stuck state, that's the dorsal state.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe it's just putting your running shoes on today.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_03: And that's one motion closer to getting unstuck.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: And then maybe tomorrow it's putting your running shoes on and getting out the door and taking the actual walk.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe the next day after that, it's running shoes, getting out the door, and actually going to the gym.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: And all of a sudden, it's now three days later, and you've really taken action on something.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_03: But if you had tried to put your shoes on and go straight out to the gym, it would have felt impossible.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: What I'm loving, Mariah, is uh baby, we say baby steps literally every single episode.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so micro movements, yes, exactly.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: I do feel like anything happens with like the smallest little step.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: Even recently, I've been noticing like um, if I'm just kind of feeling like I need to feel better or something, I'll like take out the trash or just try to find some kind of little, maybe I'll finish up the dishes or put them away, but some kind of little, what's a really little task that I could get done and like feel proud about myself and like feel like I'm taking a baby step towards the right direction.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's really amazing.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like a lot of that times I think you can roll your eyes at the idea of just doing something simple like putting on your shoes.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: But when you do that and then you take a moment to kind of reflect and feel proud of yourself and then try to do better the next day, those compounding effects can be really massive.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, yes.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: And those things that you're doing, those are actually tasks to regulate your nervous system.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they literally are things that we do when we're in that dorsal, dorsal state if we're feeling stuck.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_03: You can also feel very stuck in a high functioning freeze, which is what a lot of people, a lot of women, especially, a lot of type A high achievers are actually experiencing is high functioning freeze.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's this like achiever anxiety situation.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's the visual I like to look to to give on this one is like a duck, right?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: When you look at a duck, it if you were going across the top of the water, it looks like it's like chill, totally fine.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: But if you were to look underneath the water, it is frantically paddling.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: And that's kind of what high achiever anxiety looks like from the outside world.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_03: Most people are looking at these high achievers, like, you got it all together put together, yet there is this thing that's going on inside that is this just tornado.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad that you brought that up because I literally wrote down just like you work with high performers, so like what do they all have in common?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Can you dive a little bit more into that high functioning free state?
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so a lot of times this high functioning, like high achiever, big results kind of things that are happening, the achiever part is driven by this trauma, right?
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_03: And that is this activation in in our nervous system.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yet it's the very thing that created the achievement, the success, is also the very thing that is keeping us from experiencing that peace, that ease, to ever actually getting into that what we're seeking, which is that ventral state, that flow state, that place where it's like, yes, I can be alert and present in my body and not like being scared of the future and what's going on or ruminating on the past, which is typically what's happening inside of our mind when we're experiencing this kind of dysregulation.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: And when we're talking about anxiety, it's always the result of your head and your heart being in two separate places and neither one of them are where your feet are.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for explaining that.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: That is very helpful.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: I guess the the thought that comes through, because I definitely can relate to this, like growing up, just like even my my little kid self was like a perfectionist.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that was my way of dealing with all of the chaos that was kind of happening in my house growing up.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I guess like as an adult, and we've talked about this in a previous episode of just like you start to notice that you're expanding your capacity, usually not in that moment, but usually like in hindsight when you've handled a different situation after where you're like, wow, I handled that in a way that two years ago me would have never been able to handle that.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's really cool data points to see.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: But also, I think, especially being a business owner, I guess the fear that comes along is like, well, if I'm not high performing, if I'm not getting all of this shit done, I'm not going to be successful.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like part of you, of course, your body wants to relax.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: It wants to have that resilience to be able to go up and go down, but it's like part of the ego.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that this is where like societal programming and just like hustle culture comes in too, and just like making money and just like in the world that we live in.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it's kind of like, okay, I know that I have to quote rest, but like I also want to do really cool shit and I have big goals and I have big dreams.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like when as a kid having like that perfectionistic, like high-performing things, and then as an adult and seeing that play out in business, it's kind of like, well, I'm afraid to take that down a notch because then what if I don't have an internal driver that pushes me towards the goal that I have?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is that something similar that you see with your clients too?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there isn't this huge piece of self-trust, right?
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_03: And that's typically in anyone that's experiencing burnout, it's this like, I know I can keep going if I don't stop, but I don't trust myself to start again.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_03: And it I think that's kind of what I feel like what I'm hearing that you're talking about right now, a lot of that.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: I think a piece that starts with one, really checking in with your definition of success and the things that you want to create and want to achieve.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: Are they truly what you want or are they because that's what society, you think society has told you that you want?
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: And it's totally cool if they're actually what you want.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: And then once we demon decide that that's our version of success, it's learning to trust yourself and trust the timing of things because the nothing happens overnight.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: And the thing that we want to achieve is rarely going to be the thing that actually makes us happy once we get there if we haven't learned how to really embody and um enjoy the journey of getting there, right?
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_03: This is where like we can have these big goals and use.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: I have this conversation a lot of times with high achievers.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's like in the midst of like massive success, yet all of a sudden they look around and they're completely miserable.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: There's disconnect, they're discontent.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_03: They're standing at the top of the mountain and they have achieved all of the things, yet still they are absolutely miserable.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: They feel empty inside, they feel like, you know, just kind of like a shell of a person.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's like, what is it all for?
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_03: If we, I don't know, like if we've burnt ourselves out, we have no energy, we're miserable, we're not happy.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: What is all the money?
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: What is all the success for if you're not exactly happy or joyful or energized and excited to be there?
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_02: Man, Corinne, I'm so happy we had you on.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like you are weirdly in our brains.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_02: Mariah and I have been messaging on Instagram this week about functional freeze.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: So crazy that you brought that up.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then the other thing you said there, I think is interesting about one thing we noticed, we've definitely experienced that ourselves, especially as we got into the business of chasing other people's goals.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's really easy to get wrapped up and running after something you think that you are supposed to want.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: And then when you get it, oh, that feeling sucks.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_02: And you're like, oh shit, that's not going right.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: So you mentioned earlier, you know, there's two steps to this kind of healing.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_02: First is getting clear on what do you actually want versus all the programming that you maybe have going on from external sources.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_02: How do you help guide?
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think that piece is the hardest.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Getting clear on like what do I actually want, not what I think my high achiever self wants.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you help people connect with that?
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_03: I would say that's not even the you can ask yourself that question, but you're gonna be really alarmed when you first ask yourself that question, especially if you're in the state, because you're probably just gonna hear crickets because you're gonna have no clue what the actual F you want.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if that resonates.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: You I I definitely had it in my experience when I was in the thick of it, it's like, well, what do I want?
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's like, wait, hold on.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_03: And it's that piece of learning how to turn the volume up on your intuition.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_03: And you didn't end up in a massively dysregulated state, listening to your intuition.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_03: And that's really where it starts, right?
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_03: We have, if you were listening to your intuition, you wouldn't have gotten there because your body is sending you these signals and these messages, and you just keep ignoring them, you keep disassociating from them.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_03: And the more we do that and we stop listening to ourselves, our body, our gut, all of the things, the volume, it doesn't go away, but it becomes like almost indistinguishable.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why in our conscious brain, which we like to turn off in breath work, that's part of the thing, is we hit pause on that prefrontal cortex and give it, give it a break there.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: And you're actually able to start to hear those voices.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_03: The kicker here is it becomes kind of like a chicken and egg situation because your intuition is part of your nervous system, it's part of your subconscious mind.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_03: So when you hear someone say, Oh, your intuition will never lead you wrong, I'm sorry to tell you, horrible news.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: It might lead you wrong.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's not leading you wrong intentionally, but it's leading you wrong because it's making decisions based on a fall and a past program.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's making decisions based on trauma.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's telling you things to keep you safe.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_03: It is not necessarily in your best interest.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's not necessarily going to lead you to your goals.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_03: So this is really where the work and the healing and the things that I'm doing with my clients is starting to turn the volume up on that intuition and upgrade the programming kind of at a simultaneous place and space.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_03: So that doesn't mean that you ignore your intuition if you're like, is that right?
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's like we get to be discerning, we get to listen.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_03: We're like, is that my conscious brain talking?
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: Is that my intuition?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_03: Is that a healed version of my intuition?
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_03: And these are all these like curious questions that we have to and get to ask ourselves.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's a really fucking difficult place to be when you're not used to being there.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've done intuitive development and like I remember when I was working with my coach, Natasha, she's been on previous seasons of the podcast, and I remember being like, How do I know if this is my intuition or if this is my ego?
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or just like, whose voice is this?
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like it was the first time that I was actually giving the microphone to the voice, and I didn't know which part was grabbing the microphone to talk to me.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it takes time in order to be able to distinguish these things.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: And as humans, it's funny, especially like with perfectionistic tendencies, it's like, but I have to listen and I have to figure out who it is, and I better be right.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like you're trying to also put that in a box when really the only way to learn is to figure it out.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like we try so hard to strategize even things from our intuition that I think is funny.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: But like what we're really doing, and I think what we're talking about is like we're expanding our capacity in different ways, our expanding our capacity to have awareness, expanding our capacity to distinguish what voice this is, expanding our capacity to be curious.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because as the podcast curiously guided, me and Shay love asking questions.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that tends to be part of our zone of genius, but like asking questions doesn't come easy to everybody.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes they're just like, I don't even know what questions to ask.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like this can also be a muscle that's strengthened in terms of like getting in the habit of asking yourself questions, like, is this the voice that I want to listen to?
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or like when you hear something, I often have to have to do this where it's like, is this being directed by like my intuition that's leading me to a place that I want to go?
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or is this a piece of myself that's operating from a state of fear from past experiences?
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm glad that you brought that up because there are numerous voices happening inside of us.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I always think that it's so fascinating because as humans, I can't see the voices in your head.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: I can't see your inner dialogue.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're all walking around with like these stories and these programs and so much shit happening in our head that we can't see when you look at somebody.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's also a really beautiful reminder when you're interacting with the world outside of you.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: A, give people grace because you have no fucking idea what's happening in their brain and just like their their perspective and their intuition and whatever.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like just having that awareness, and obviously it's fucking difficult sometimes.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: When somebody cuts you off, you're just like, no, you're an asshole, and I don't care what kind of day you're having, you're just an asshole.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when you can come back and kind of remember that we're all operating in different ways and we all have different goals and we all have different zones of genius, and we all have, we just shot an episode about weaknesses, we all have different quote weaknesses, but like they all play so well into creating like who we are uniquely.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like the nervous system regulation comes in where it's like, if we know that we're all a unique puzzle piece, the nervous system regulation, and how I'm kind of seeing it now is like the piece that funnels it back into our human body so that we can actually take action on all of those unique pieces of ourselves.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_03: I like that the puzzle piece and the action, because that's a big piece is this intuitive, intuitive action.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think a something that's I think worth noting is also that art, there's, I think the ego gets demonized, right?
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_03: Which does live in the prefrontal cortex part of our brain.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_03: What we need, we really need that part of us.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a lot of intelligence and wisdom that lives in that part of our mind, but we need to be able to build a bridge between the two and forge a partnership between that part of us and our subconscious, the intuition, the intuitive part of us.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_03: And your subconscious is like a massive high-powered computer.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_03: And when we're trying to discern the voices too, one thing to note is that your subconscious loves speed.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_03: So the first thing that popped into your mind was coming from your subconscious, whether it was coming from a place of, you know, hurt or a past wound, that's another thing that you get to be curious about.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_03: But whatever comes up first, that like uh that's your intuition, that's your subconscious.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_03: The next voice is your your prefrontal cortex.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's your ego going, hmm, I don't know about that.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's the rational part of your brain.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious, Corinne.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm wondering what this looked like for you.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: And this is kind of a two-sided question.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: What I'm thinking, what I've been running into lately is like, okay, so I'm getting clearer on my want and my future vision, and that's kind of all coming together.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm having this panic now of like, who I am today cannot hold what future Shay wants.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think there's this fear that I have of like chasing after big dreams because I'm afraid that I won't have the capacity to really like stand up at that level.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have things like that?
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_02: Are you what what does this look like for you these days?
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_03: So it's funny, I was actually in my mastermind the other day.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: We were actually talking having a similar conversation around this.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_03: So I am all about the big vision, right?
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I think everyone is talking about the big, the big vision.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_03: We have to have it, but we also need to come back to these micro visions, right?
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because you have to create these incremental versions of yourself to get to that capacity.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's the same, like you with all these people we see on, you know, on Instagram, the success, and we're just like, oh my gosh, they just like blew up.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_03: And you're like, but you don't see the 10 years before that, that they were just like underground or like you didn't have any clue who they were before that, building that capacity to get there.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: We want that.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_03: We want that instant, right?
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_03: And so, and this connects to something that I talk about a lot, which is expanders, right?
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_03: Looking and finding expanders, which I think is really great when it's looking at this person and thing that has done the thing that we want to do.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_03: But we can't just look at that part.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_03: We have to look at where they were on their journey that matches where we are on our journey, and then start to go from there.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's how we build the capacity.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_03: And so, no, future the person that you are today cannot hold the capacity of what it is that you desire that's like that big thing.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, you would probably you would get it if you got it today, it would probably cause you to crumble.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_03: You might self-sabotage, you might implode it all, and you would be making no sense to you because you're like, this is the thing that I wanted, right?
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's why people that win the lottery all of a sudden, like literally cause themselves so much problems.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: They like spend all the money they turn into like raging alcoholics, and their life just goes to hell in a handbag.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_03: It like overnight, and they just were like became a bazillionaire.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_03: That's why, because they don't have the capacity to hold that kind of wealth.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_03: But we can build that capacity incrementally, and you can do it much faster than you probably think that you can.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_03: So, something that I like to do myself and practice with my clients is that we have that big vision, but we have to reverse engineer it, right?
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost like, okay, what's we have this big goal for for the end of the year?
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_03: But what are all the steps that we're gonna take to get there?
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_03: What are all the benchmarks that we're gonna take to get there?
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_03: Who do I have to be at this stage and at this stage and at this stage?
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's really hard to you hear a lot of this like when we're talking about manifesting and like just embody the person that is the you know multi-million dollar entrepreneur, you know, start adopting all of those habits.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_03: Cool, but you need to probably feel fucking impossible, like which then you just don't start.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're uh money, I feel like is an easy thing to wrap your head around.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're wanting to be a million, have a million dollar year, yet right here we're only having, you know,$20,000 years, right?
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we have to start to become the person that has, or maybe even like shorter term, maybe we're having like a$5,000 a month.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, let's try to be the person who has a$10,000 a month.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_03: And then once they're there, try to be the person that is has a you know$40,000 a month.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe you can stretch a little bit more.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_03: What's the edge of your capacity?
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_03: It almost doesn't feel like possible, but there's like this, oh, I can get on board with that, that believability.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_03: Start to embody that piece and then keep moving it up.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's how we expand capacity.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's how, and that's how we make this like compound effect piece happen pretty quickly.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: You can collapse time if we want to start talking in those kind of that kind of language, doing that.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's not just being like, I'm like the million-dollar person now.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: Then you probably won't be doing a lot of things because a lot of times when we get to that stage of where we want to go, those people aren't doing the things anymore.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_03: They have a team of people doing all the things, which is why their life looks so great.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: How I guess my question is like, let's say I'm making we're we're gonna keep going with the money example because I do think that this is easy.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so pertinent in terms of like the online business world, everybody's like 5k months, 10k months, a million dollar K months.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like it is like a good example to kind of keep going with.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like let's say that I'm making$1,000 a month and I want to get to$5,000 a month because I also think that it's important to note.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw somebody post about this and I was like, you're right.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: In the online business space, we have like shit on$5,000 months.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, really interesting because it's like from somebody that I feel I used to make like$2,000 a month working at my job, and like the fact that like now I can make$5,000 a month, like that's lifestyle changing for somebody.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's like, let's just we we have to remember, we're gonna use these examples, but like we have to remember that like$5,000 is also a lot of money for like specific people and a lot of people, whatever.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_01: So if I want to go from let's say$1,000 a month to$5,000 or even like$10,000 a month, and you're like, well, you have to start becoming the person that has$10,000 months.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what that person is.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not that person.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do I know what to quote become when I've never been that?
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, in what way do I start expanding, become the person that has$10,000 months?
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: In my head, I'm just like, okay, so I sit on my bed and I'm just like, I'm a person that has$10,000 months.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't, I don't know how to become, like, what do I become?
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or how do I figure out what to become?
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, this is that I think the curiosity piece.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_03: One is I think you really need to let your imagination play in the what do you believe, what do you think uh someone does to get there?
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_03: That may not be the answer, but we have to start first with like what we think.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_03: Then the next is putting yourself in positions, in environments to be around people that are doing those things.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_03: And this is gonna be the stretcher piece, right?
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_03: And this is gonna be the part that's like, well, but how do I get in a room like that?
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well, this is where you have to exit that comfort zone, like exit the comfort zone and into the discomfort zone to stretch yourself.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_03: And there's another thing too, our nervous system matches and mirrors other people's nervous system.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_03: So that whole idea of, you know, when your parents were like, uh you're hanging out with the wrong crowd, kind of kind of thing.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, there's something actually to that.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_03: And there's actually proven studies that were done in like a corporate context that if you put uh someone who is not a high achiever next to someone, literally their desk next to someone who, let's just say it's like a you know,$50,000 salary, next to someone who is earning$150,000, and you literally just place them right next to each other within a very short amount of time, I think it was like six months, that person will start to increase their salary.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember the exact numbers, but it's it's an alarming, astounding number that basically when you put yourself around people who are doing big things, it is contagious.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so you'll start to observe, you'll see, you'll probably just start to assume some of these habits.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um, if you've ever, I don't know, whether it's a partner, a friend, you know, you hang around with somebody and all of a sudden you start noticing that you're like sound like them, you're saying words like them, and you didn't necessarily intentionally do it.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, the same thing happens when we're trying to up level, whether it's in our income, our business, our habits, when you surround yourself.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_03: And especially now that we're starting to come out of like a this like COVID world and we can be in person and do things, that gets to be a little bit easier because social media isn't always the most um truthful place to get those answers for yourself.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_03: Because remember, it's a highlight reel.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a lot of things going on on the back end side of that.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like I have to say this when we're talking about money and up-leveling and all of the things and like assuming habits.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_03: There is this one thing, too, to really understand about when we're trying to expand our capacity for money.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_03: And when we're building the what do I actually want?
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_03: And what do I want my life and my lifestyle to actually look like?
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_03: Because a lot of the people whom are earning these massive amounts of money, that's not what they're taking home either.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_03: And so fine, you want to have a you want to make a million dollars.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you might be able to make a million dollars, but a lot of those people who are making a million dollars spent$900,000 to make a million dollars.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_03: And there was a tremendous amount of stress that got there.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_03: So they just took home 100k.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_03: Remember, that's just six figures there, right?
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_03: Not and I'm not saying just six figures, but in the context of seven to six.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_03: That was that worth it.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_03: Was the stress to tell everyone you hit a million dollars worth it to take home a hundred?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_02: I am so glad you brought that up.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_02: Literally yesterday I was screaming at a podcast.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is that gross or profit?
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_02: It drives me crazy when people share these big numbers and then they don't share.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_02: Numbers need context as well.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a lot that goes into numbers that we're not seeing the full story.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I think remembering manipulated so easily.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I that is something that is so prevalent, especially if you're in the online business space or even just online getting advertised too.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's a lot of people share a lot of big numbers and like just always take it with a grain of salt, no matter what.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: Know that you do not have their full PL, you do not know the full story, you do not know mentally their what's happened to them or emotionally this year, you know.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that that is such an important thing to remember because it's really easy to go down shame spirals and compare yourself to things that are not even real.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so there's a lot of money manipulation out there.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_02: But pivoting us a little bit, you know, one thing that we've been noticing among the high achievers that we're interviewing on the podcast is that there's practices that do you have any practices in place or rituals or whatever you want to say that you do every single day or regularly to kind of fill your own cup?
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_02: I've been curious at like what do you do for yourself every day to fill whatever cup is here right now and kind of pour into others?
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, I definitely have a morning routine, which I feel like, you know, no pressure to have a morning routine.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_03: I think your routines and rituals need to match your rhythms.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_03: If you happen to be the person who is like massively uh uh productive in the evening time, honor that and create a ritual around that time of day for you.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I do have definitely a morning ritual.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_03: I typically listen to a meditation first thing in the morning.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: And to be honest, I have to tell you, I don't even surprise if I, I'm sure my because your subconscious is always listening.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's just a really nice to like ease myself awake.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not by nature, just like someone who pops up and is like, oh, I'm so happy to be awake.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_03: And so putting some binaural beats sort of meditation in my ears literally just kind of like brings me joy.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_03: It feels like a massage for my brain, which is like a nice way for me to wake up and I just come awake with a much better mood.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_03: And that's typically how I start.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_03: Usually around 10 or 11 o'clock when I'm when I'm getting ready to shift in a different kind of work, I will do a breath work because usually in my very early morning, I reserve that for deep work.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I like to write and do things like that, which is when I'm most focused, uh most creative at that time.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then my breath work is much more for like getting myself like into that like really action-oriented kind of space.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of like a cup of coffee for me.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_03: Later in the day, I usually take two walks.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I have like a very like complex, and it's not that because I'm not like stupid, it sounds like I'm rigid, but I'm not really rigid at all.
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I usually take a walk twice a day.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_03: And somewhere in there, I get a workout.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_03: I usually work, I like to do um like a Pilates kind of workout in the evening time.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then after that, I usually come home and I get into the sauna with a hypnosis, and then I go to bed.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_01: I love that daily routine.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so funny that you were like, it sounds like I'm so rigid, but like we've been noticing and like we know from science that like the body operates best when it can kind of know what's coming and when you get into a routine.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same with raising kids, right?
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's studies that show that like when you when the kids are in a routine, they end up like knowing what to expect, and then the day can flow a little bit better.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that there is power in that, but it's interesting because like there's a there's a rebel side of me that was just like, I ain't having a fucking routine.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck that.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do whatever I want to do.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just so chaotic all of the time.
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I was just trying to prove my rebel self right.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I would be like, I thrive in chaos.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like, now that I'm a little bit more aware, I'm like, no, bitch, that was just like your comfort zone of like how shitty your nervous system was feeling at that time, and you wanted to keep that going.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I I love sharing examples of just like how everybody's day looks so differently.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I did want to backtrack just a hot second when you mentioned like your nervous system reacts to the people that you're around and just like the fact that if I don't know who I want to become based on my goals and like my imagination can't get there.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to thank you for bringing in that example to surround yourself with people that are maybe not completely there if you can't find them, but maybe just a couple steps, incremental steps of on the path of where you want to be.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like that's an action step that we can take, especially in the age of the internet.
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can connect and slide into people's DMs.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that like if this is not your thing, it can feel fucking awkward.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_01: But like I think it just comes back to the importance of community.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that like decades ago, before the internet, like.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like we all used to be in community a little bit more.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then we've seen how much we miss it when we don't have that.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's cool that you brought in the connection between like the nervous system and community because we hear that all the time.
• 1:06:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's the thing in the personal development world of just like you are the five people that you surround yourself with, but it's like, where's the science of that, bro?
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's like, oh, the science is kind of in like the nervous system regulation world.
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that example.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think that it's really actionable in terms of like expanding your capacity, because like, like I said so often and from my own experience, I find that like I only notice that my capacity is expanding in hindsight.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes when I'm doing stuff, if I'm doing breath work or hypnosis or something, it's kind of like the ego or like the mind is kind of like, is this actually working?
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is this actually expanding my capacity?
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or am I just doing these things because I hope that they work?
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I love the examples and just like hearing stories of just like, no, all of this little shit actually does add up.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I had a question, do you have, because we're coming to a time where we're going to be wrapping up?
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any other suggestions or ways that people can start to take those actionable tips to expand their capacity of their nervous system?
• 1:07:27
  SPEAKER_01: I know that we went through a couple, but do you have any more that we didn't get to touch on?
• 1:07:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so one of the ones that I that can you can just kind of keep in your back pocket all of the time for regulating your nervous system and expanding your capacity.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_03: And you might have even seen it on TikTok because it's trending.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, if if you happen to be a TikTok fan, it's called The Art of Noticing, which is orienting, essentially.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's a nervous system regulation tool.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_03: And so what that is is using your five senses to get into your body.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_03: So that just get into the habit of doing this throughout your day.
• 1:08:04
  SPEAKER_03: And it doesn't like you don't need to be in a stressed state to do it.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_03: Do it before you walk into a meeting, do it before you hop on a podcast, do it before you get out of your car and walk in to your family.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, anybody else like to sit in their car before they go in because they're like, oh my gosh, I don't want to go inside.
• 1:08:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um I thought I was the only one that did that until that started trending on social media too.
• 1:08:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh, I'm not alone.
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um but it's kind of like, you know, your nervous system doesn't want to face whatever it is that you're gonna go inside of go inside to.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_03: And here is a trick it's this orienting piece is you're almost like putting this, you're putting yourself back into your body, almost putting an energetic protection suit on, if you will.
• 1:08:43
  SPEAKER_03: So you'll just take a moment, sit quietly, listen to with your right ear, and see if you can identify three sounds with your right side.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_03: Then tune in with your left side.
• 1:08:54
  SPEAKER_03: And yes, you will hear different things when you start to really pay attention to that type of nuance.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_03: Identify three sounds.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like I can hear my heating vent on this side.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then after that, you're gonna look for three things in your scope of vision, like pick out a color, pick out a texture, pick out an object.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_03: Then you want to touch three things.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_03: Notice the like the cool texture uh or temperature that my of my laptop, the the sort of like weird feeling of my water bottle that's really cool over here.
• 1:09:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's what you would reach out and you'd touch.
• 1:09:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, my fuzzy sweater.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_03: And what that does, it puts you back into your body.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_03: And when you've done that, when you walk into a situation, you are responsive versus reactive.
• 1:09:46
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I was sitting here reflecting on like what I'm taking away from this episode, and I I realized that I was really thinking about nervous system regulation almost as one-sided of like, I feel anxious and in my head, and I need to feel calm and relaxed.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I do think that that part of it is maybe that, like figuring out how to get back and rest and digest.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_02: But the other thing I've heard you say consistently is the other side of expanding your nervous system is finding safe ways to expand.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm realizing, you know, like pushing yourself, maybe doing seeking a little bit of discomfort in a way that feels safe.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of times those are the things that have really helped me realize that my cup is bigger than I perhaps thought it was.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I love your message here.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's the both and, right?
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_02: There is, there's an awesomeness about this activated state in me that gets me up and like uh performing and doing what I need to do.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_02: And there is no like good side or bad side to be on nervous system regulation.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's more about being able to like oscillate between the two.
• 1:10:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I really appreciate all of the proactive, uh, very tangible advice that you've shared in this episode.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like you've left us with a lot of just like things we can implement right now, because I do feel like nervous system regulation I had been thinking about as this like destination of this like super chills in, relaxed woman, but I'm not sure that that's quite right, even and of itself.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_02: So you've really helped me kind of like round out my understanding of nervous system regulation and all this stuff.
• 1:11:16
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for that.
• 1:11:18
  SPEAKER_02: I really love how you're able to combine the science of all of this and talk about it in a really grounded, approachable way.
• 1:11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the work that you're doing is so needed, and I think it's so awesome.
• 1:11:31
  SPEAKER_02: So before we um wrap this episode up, Mariah, do you have any other questions or anything about the topic that you want to dive into?
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, I feel complete.
• 1:11:41
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like like the same that you said, like really rounding out my perspective of nervous system regulation.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like we just brought in so many different examples, like business examples and just like real life examples and like the analogies and stuff like that.
• 1:11:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that this is wildly helpful.
• 1:11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think that the way that you explain things is like it's truly a gift, honestly.
• 1:12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like things have just like slid into place where I'm just like, oh shit, oh shit, that makes a lot of sense.
• 1:12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to listen back and kind of pick up on the other things, like the little nuances.
• 1:12:16
  SPEAKER_01: But if we have listeners that are obsessed with the way that you explain things and want to work with you on a deeper level, can you just give us more information on where people can find and connect with you?
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or if you have something that can kind of help people moving forward on the next step?
• 1:12:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I'd love to.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and first of all, thank you.
• 1:12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:12:35
  SPEAKER_03: I will receive that compliment of it being a gift.
• 1:12:37
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate that.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you can find me, of course, on Instagram and I hang out on LinkedIn as well.
• 1:12:46
  SPEAKER_03: And so my handles are just Corine Phelps, easy to find.
• 1:12:49
  SPEAKER_03: I also have a membership, which is really an affordable way to become a good steward of your new nervous system.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I always say that being a good steward of our nervous system is a way for us to really make a ripple.
• 1:13:04
  SPEAKER_03: And we know we want to create this impact and have that ripple effect in the world.
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_03: And so being a good steward of your own nervous system helps to create other nervous systems that are regulated.
• 1:13:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so I do that inside of Cultivate.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it's a breathwork hypnosis and a nervous system regulation portal, a lot of audios that you can do, kind of like DIY on your own.
• 1:13:23
  SPEAKER_03: But there's also a community piece, of course, because that's really important.
• 1:13:27
  SPEAKER_03: And we do live experiences every single month.
• 1:13:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so anything you need is inside the portal, and then you get to connect and meet other people and surround yourself with other people so that you can expand your capacity as well.
• 1:13:39
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, I have a free seven days that I would love to gift your audience with so that they can come in and get a taste of it before deciding that they are ready to commit and go all in.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, hell yeah.
• 1:13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
• 1:13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for that.
• 1:13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna put the links to all of that stuff in the show notes.
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_01: But before we let you go, we do have one more question that we like to ask every human on the podcast.
• 1:14:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, what has been sparking your curiosity lately?
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_03: What has been sparking my curiosity?
• 1:14:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so I'm really coming back to a place of connecting with my creativity.
• 1:14:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'll give you a quick little like uh fun fact about me.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_03: I was actually an art major in college, but decided that I was like didn't fit in with the art world at that era of my life.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I changed and studied nutrition and food science.
• 1:14:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so I've realized that I've been like blocking off this piece of me that is this like really creative human being.
• 1:14:36
  SPEAKER_03: So anything that makes me feel creative, stimulates creativity, is what is kind of like a spark for me.
• 1:14:44
  SPEAKER_03: And some of those things are like cooking, um, sculpture.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_03: And that's like my whole entire lens of what I'm taking into 2024.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like I've already figured out what my word is, and it's literally gonna be creativity.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know.
• 1:14:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's was that kind of a good was that an okay answer?
• 1:15:01
  SPEAKER_01: That was a fantastic answer.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because when you were like in my word, I'm taking into 2024.
• 1:15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you were gonna say a sculpture.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, very literal, very, very literal.
• 1:15:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's so funny.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, I love that.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's where the juice is, right?
• 1:15:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's in the creativity, and it's so funny because I feel like so many people are like, I'm not creative because I can't paint.
• 1:15:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, by natural human nature, bitches, we are all fucking creative.
• 1:15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you have to be creative in order to solve problems, and there's a lot of problems that as humans we deal with.
• 1:15:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, to be human is actually to be a creator.
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_03: So um, that's really if you really peel back the definition of human beings, we are all creators.
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, you guys know I think that everyone's a creative.
• 1:15:48
  SPEAKER_02: You kind of just have to figure out what how that comes out for you, you know.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I love that.
• 1:15:53
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's awesome.
• 1:15:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's so inspiring.
• 1:15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, well, thank you for blessing us with your time today, Corinne.
• 1:15:59
  SPEAKER_02: I apologize, I said Corinne earlier.
• 1:16:00
  SPEAKER_02: Is that the correct way to say your name?
• 1:16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you can say it however you want.
• 1:16:05
  SPEAKER_03: I have a whole story I can share with you guys about my name, but we'll save that for the next podcast.
• 1:16:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love that so much for having.
• 1:16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm glad to hear I didn't butcher it this whole time, but thank you for agreing us with your presence.
• 1:16:15
  SPEAKER_02: This conversation was awesome.
• 1:16:17
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's gonna help a lot of people, heal a lot of people.
• 1:16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I just wanted to thank our listeners again for tuning into this episode.
• 1:16:24
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you guys got something out of it.
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_02: We will leave all of the links and information um in the podcast show notes for you guys.
• 1:16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I think we're ready to close this episode down.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, friends, you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:16:42
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you in the next episode.
• 1:16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this episode of the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 1:16:53
  SPEAKER_01: We appreciate you so much for being here.
• 1:16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Truly, this podcast is such a joy for us to create.
• 1:17:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you love the conversation or you're a fan of the podcast and you want to support us in creating new episodes, feel free to head over to curiouslyguided.com slash support to buy us a coffee.
• 1:17:14
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• 1:17:21
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• 1:17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Reviews go a long way in helping us reach more listeners, so even if it's just a quick one, it helps us all continue to grow together.
• 1:17:34
  SPEAKER_02: We'll see you in the next episode.