Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #242| How Delusional Optimism Can Help You Beat Overwhelm
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: Everything is always working out for me.
- 0:06Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:14Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:19Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences.
- 0:24Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:31Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend.
- 0:34Michelle Gauthier: Thanks for joining today.
- 0:36Michelle Gauthier: Today I'm going to make a case for something a little unconventional, and that is delusionally optimistic thinking.
- 0:43Michelle Gauthier: Why would she recommend delusionally optimistic thinking, you might wonder?
- 0:48Michelle Gauthier: Well, when you listen today, here's what you'll learn.
- 0:51Michelle Gauthier: Why your thinking is the root cause of overwhelm.
- 0:54Michelle Gauthier: How one simple thought can instantly calm your brain and shift it out of overwhelm, and how to use delusional optimism in a way that helps you take better action.
- 1:04Michelle Gauthier: On this podcast, we talk about a lot of different causes of overwhelm.
- 1:09Michelle Gauthier: You might be a people pleaser, you might struggle with time management or being productive, you might have negative self-talk or imposter syndrome, you might have way too much on your to-do list.
- 1:21Michelle Gauthier: But if we go one lever level deeper on all of those things that I just mentioned, underneath all of that is the way that you're thinking about that particular problem.
- 1:31Michelle Gauthier: So if you have too much to do, your thinking is probably telling you, I need to get this all done today.
- 1:37Michelle Gauthier: If you're a people pleaser, your thinking is probably telling you, I need to make sure other people are happy first.
- 1:42Michelle Gauthier: Nobody can be mad at me.
- 1:44Michelle Gauthier: So at the root, root, root of overwhelm is the way that you're thinking.
- 1:49Michelle Gauthier: And if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you already know this.
- 1:53Michelle Gauthier: But if you're new, welcome.
- 1:55Michelle Gauthier: Thanks for joining us.
- 1:56Michelle Gauthier: And I'm here to tell you that you can change your own thinking.
- 2:00Michelle Gauthier: No matter what your brain throws out, we can't control the thoughts that our brain just drops into our head.
- 2:06Michelle Gauthier: But you have the ability to put some space between yourself and that thought and decide, do I want to believe it or do I want to think a different thought?
- 2:15Michelle Gauthier: And this is where the power of delusionally optimistic thinking can really help.
- 2:21Michelle Gauthier: My son is 18.
- 2:23Michelle Gauthier: He loves cars, he's been through many cars already.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: The other night he was driving home and he hit a deer.
- 2:29Michelle Gauthier: And if you're thinking, oh wait, you already told that story on the podcast.
- 2:32Michelle Gauthier: Nope, nope, I haven't.
- 2:34Michelle Gauthier: Different deer, different car, same son.
- 2:36Michelle Gauthier: He's fine.
- 2:37Michelle Gauthier: Even the deer was fine.
- 2:39Michelle Gauthier: The car is not that fine, but it's drivable, so it's pretty much fine.
- 2:43Michelle Gauthier: But immediately my brain went into overwhelm.
- 2:46Michelle Gauthier: When are we gonna get this fixed?
- 2:47Michelle Gauthier: We've had so many insurance claims.
- 2:49Michelle Gauthier: How did this happen?
- 2:51Michelle Gauthier: How fast was he going?
- 2:52Michelle Gauthier: Why didn't I just have him stay home that night?
- 2:55Michelle Gauthier: Just into a full spiral of overwhelm.
- 2:58Michelle Gauthier: So I take a deep breath, I look at my phone, and my screensaver pops up that I have intentionally put there as the wallpaper on my phone, and it says, the plot thickens in my favor.
- 3:10Michelle Gauthier: And I just started laughing because what if this deer situation isn't a problem?
- 3:15Michelle Gauthier: What if I can reframe it to think of it as an interesting plot twist in this story of my week that's somehow going to work out in my favor?
- 3:23Michelle Gauthier: Immediately my thinking shifted.
- 3:26Michelle Gauthier: I realized I don't even own this car.
- 3:28Michelle Gauthier: His dad owns this car.
- 3:29Michelle Gauthier: I don't actually have to do anything with this situation.
- 3:32Michelle Gauthier: I don't have to deal with fixing it.
- 3:34Michelle Gauthier: My son is fine.
- 3:35Michelle Gauthier: He could have gotten hurt.
- 3:36Michelle Gauthier: Even the deer is fine.
- 3:37Michelle Gauthier: And maybe he'll learn something from this.
- 3:39Michelle Gauthier: And just like that, the overwhelm was gone.
- 3:42Michelle Gauthier: Nothing about the situation changed, but everything about my thinking did.
- 3:46Michelle Gauthier: And it was that delusionally optimistic thought.
- 3:50Michelle Gauthier: As soon as I saw that thought, my brain started looking for evidence for how that could be true.
- 3:55Michelle Gauthier: Now, being an optimist, I have gotten plenty of feedback that thinking like this is not helpful.
- 4:04Michelle Gauthier: Why not try to think as positively as possible?
- 4:08Michelle Gauthier: Let's actually ask ourselves this question.
- 4:10Michelle Gauthier: Some people think, and someone who I love dearly told me that this type of thinking is dangerous.
- 4:16Michelle Gauthier: So let's look at that.
- 4:18Michelle Gauthier: A lot of people also believe that thinking negatively somehow keeps you safe.
- 4:23Michelle Gauthier: So if you expect the worst, you'll be prepared and you won't be as disappointed if something goes wrong.
- 4:29Michelle Gauthier: And I can see how that feels true because when my son hit the deer, my brain immediately went there.
- 4:34Michelle Gauthier: I started thinking, how are we going to deal with this?
- 4:36Michelle Gauthier: What's this gonna cost?
- 4:38Michelle Gauthier: Why did this happen?
- 4:39Michelle Gauthier: But in the moment, thinking negatively like that didn't make me more prepared.
- 4:45Michelle Gauthier: It just made me more overwhelmed.
- 4:47Michelle Gauthier: Nothing about that kind of thinking helped me solve anything faster.
- 4:51Michelle Gauthier: And had I pre-worried about the situation, pre-worried about him hitting a deer, it wouldn't have changed the situation.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: It would have just made me feel worse up until the point when it actually happened.
- 5:04Michelle Gauthier: So, in my opinion, optimistic thinking isn't dangerous.
- 5:09Michelle Gauthier: It's really just about choosing a thought that helps you feel better so that you can think more clearly and then take intentional action towards the problem.
- 5:18Michelle Gauthier: Now, if you think, okay, you know what I'm gonna do?
- 5:20Michelle Gauthier: I'm gonna quit my job and then I'm gonna sit on my couch and I'm gonna believe that a million dollars is coming to me.
- 5:25Michelle Gauthier: That's not the kind of delusional optimism I'm talking about.
- 5:29Michelle Gauthier: I'm talking about the delusional optimism that makes you have clear thinking so you can take the necessary action on the problem.
- 5:36Michelle Gauthier: Let's say you're thinking, ah, what could it hurt?
- 5:39Michelle Gauthier: I'm gonna give this a whirl, which I highly recommend.
- 5:42Michelle Gauthier: Here's how to actually do this.
- 5:44Michelle Gauthier: First, you have to notice when you're overwhelmed.
- 5:46Michelle Gauthier: So for me, it feels like a spitting sensation, like I can't think straight.
- 5:50Michelle Gauthier: I get almost like a staticky feeling in my chest.
- 5:53Michelle Gauthier: And you probably know what overwhelm feels like for you.
- 5:55Michelle Gauthier: So as soon as you experience it, pause and ask, how can I be delusionally optimistic about this?
- 6:01Michelle Gauthier: Then choose a thought.
- 6:02Michelle Gauthier: Some of my favorites, which I have on rotation on my phone.
- 6:06Michelle Gauthier: I have a whole mantra collection.
- 6:08Michelle Gauthier: Every time I lock my phone, it pulls up a new one for me.
- 6:11Michelle Gauthier: I believe that they show up for me exactly when I need them.
- 6:14Michelle Gauthier: Some of my favorites are everything is always working out for me.
- 6:18Michelle Gauthier: The plot thickens in my favor.
- 6:20Michelle Gauthier: Of course, this is going to work out.
- 6:23Michelle Gauthier: And you don't even have to fully believe it, but just be willing to consider it.
- 6:27Michelle Gauthier: And when you do that, your brain starts to calm down.
- 6:30Michelle Gauthier: You can think more clearly, you can decide what actually needs to be done.
- 6:35Michelle Gauthier: Just the other day, I was driving my daughter and her friend to wrestling practice, and we drive a long way for it, and there was a lot of traffic, and they were supposed to be there at five.
- 6:44Michelle Gauthier: And according to my phone, we were going to get there at 4.59.
- 6:48Michelle Gauthier: Neither one of these two girls like to be late.
- 6:50Michelle Gauthier: So they were very stressed about this.
- 6:52Michelle Gauthier: And I was like, oh gosh, you guys, I think it's gonna be okay.
- 6:55Michelle Gauthier: I look down at my phone, and what do I see as my wallpaper?
- 6:59Michelle Gauthier: I have the best luck.
- 7:00Michelle Gauthier: So I said to the girls, oh my gosh, you guys, don't even worry about it.
- 7:04Michelle Gauthier: I have the best luck.
- 7:04Michelle Gauthier: Look, my phone just told me I have the best luck.
- 7:06Michelle Gauthier: We're totally gonna make it on time.
- 7:08Michelle Gauthier: And we did.
- 7:09Michelle Gauthier: So, what did it hurt in that moment to believe that I had the best luck and that we are actually going to get there on time?
- 7:15Michelle Gauthier: Nothing.
- 7:16Michelle Gauthier: Made us all laugh, and we made it on time.
- 7:20Michelle Gauthier: So I suggest that you do just give this a whirl, think with delusional optimism and see what impact it has on your life.
- 7:28Michelle Gauthier: If you want to borrow some of my thoughts, we'll put the link in the show notes.
- 7:33Michelle Gauthier: But you can just go and download nine of my favorite delusionally optimistic thoughts, save them to your phone, and make them your rotating wallpaper and just see how it impacts your day to think with delusional optimism.
- 7:48Michelle Gauthier: I'd love to hear how this goes for you.
- 7:51Michelle Gauthier: Have a great week.
- 7:52Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 7:59Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com.
- 8:06Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.