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Identity shift = real lasting change (S5) S27:E4 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hello there, everyone, and welcome once again
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to Inspirations for Your Life.
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It's great to have you here with me
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All right, guys, let's kick this show off,
1:50
all right?
1:50
So this is Inspirations for Your Life, in
1:53
case you're wondering where you are.
1:54
The master topic for the week is how
1:56
to let go and level up.
1:58
This is series five, it's show 27, and
2:01
today's granular topic is identity shift equals real
2:06
lasting change, series five, show 27, episode number
2:10
four.
2:10
And the theme is who you become drives
2:14
what you do.
2:15
Who you become drives what you do.
2:18
Who you become drives what you do.
2:20
And that's just not only a saying, there's
2:24
truth in that.
2:26
So welcome, everyone, officially to the Inspirations for
2:29
Your Life show.
2:30
I am John C.
2:31
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:36
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student at
2:40
Montgomery State University, passionate lifelong learner, and now
2:44
so grateful to be a published author, yes,
2:48
yes.
2:49
All right, guys, so today I'm focusing on
2:52
something deeper than just our habits.
2:56
We focus on identity because identity is the
2:59
operating system behind every behavior that we elicit.
3:03
And if you do not change identity, behavior
3:06
will eventually revert back to what it was.
3:10
And that's an interesting awareness for a lot
3:13
of people that they miss.
3:14
Now, the core message here, ladies and gentlemen,
3:15
this is really important.
3:17
Most people try to change their life through
3:19
actions alone.
3:21
It won't work.
3:23
They add habits, they try discipline, they attempt
3:27
routines, okay?
3:29
But they keep the same identity running day
3:32
in, day out, underneath everything else.
3:35
Even though they've changed everything else around them,
3:37
the identity hasn't changed.
3:38
Because the identity hasn't changed, nothing's going to
3:40
change.
3:41
And identity always wins because identity determines consistency.
3:46
Identity comes from the inside and pushes outward.
3:49
A lot of times people try to change
3:50
the outside of them, but not the inside,
3:52
and then they get very unhappy with the
3:55
results because change happens from the inside out.
3:58
If you try to push it the other
3:59
way around, it doesn't always work.
4:00
In fact, it never works.
4:02
Not motivation, not temporary effort, guys, identity, identity.
4:08
And identity is linked to your core values,
4:12
guys, that's important.
4:13
So let's get into some points that'll help
4:14
drive this home.
4:16
Number one, your self-image drives your daily
4:18
routine more than your motivation does.
4:22
Identity determines repetition and consistency.
4:25
Number two, replace I wish with I am
4:29
becoming language programs future directions.
4:34
Number three, identity shifts from self-criticism to
4:38
self-leadership.
4:39
You stop reacting and start directing, stop living
4:44
in future, me will fix it.
4:47
Present identity creates present results.
4:50
I think that's important, you know, a lot
4:52
of people say, you know, I'll do it
4:53
tomorrow.
4:53
But, you know, tomorrow never comes or people
4:56
keep using excuse to keep delaying tomorrow.
4:58
Number five, I am statements directly shape behavior
5:02
patterns and cause change.
5:05
Identity language rewrites the action, that's powerful, guys.
5:11
Every aligned action reinforces your identity and behavior
5:16
becomes belief reinforcement.
5:19
That's another powerhouse moment, guys.
5:21
It's a powerhouse moment because when we come
5:25
to that realization, life can change for us.
5:29
Again, not overnight, but it can change for
5:32
us.
5:32
And I think that's a, I think that's
5:34
an important thing to understand.
5:36
Change does not happen in an instant.
5:40
Change happens when you become aware, okay?
5:45
It happens only when you become aware of
5:49
it.
5:50
That's a very important thing to understand.
5:54
It's about the awareness, the awareness, okay?
6:01
A lot of people miss that whole concept.
6:06
And that's something that people struggle their whole
6:08
lives to be able to get.
6:10
Number seven, motivation is unnecessary when identity is
6:16
aligned.
6:18
Huh?
6:19
What are you talking about?
6:19
Okay, so consistency becomes automatic, all right?
6:25
You must see, number eight, yourself as someone
6:28
who follows through.
6:30
Self-image determines execution.
6:35
But again, this comes back to your core
6:36
values.
6:37
This comes back to who you are, to
6:39
who you think you are.
6:41
And that thought of who you think you
6:43
are really creates who you are, okay?
6:47
Number nine, your environment should match your desired
6:54
identity.
6:57
Now, our surroundings reinforce our behavior.
7:03
But many times people don't feel inclined to
7:07
change their environment because they don't think they
7:09
can.
7:12
I think that's a, I think that's an
7:14
important thing that many people, like they just
7:17
don't really understand the why, all right?
7:22
The why is something that many people just
7:27
don't get, right?
7:30
And they don't get it because they just
7:34
don't get it.
7:39
And it hurts people, all right?
7:44
It hurts people.
7:51
And that hurts people because they don't know
7:54
what to do or why they should do
7:56
something or why they shouldn't do something.
8:01
But they do what they can, right?
8:03
Then they get frustrated.
8:08
They get frustrated.
8:12
But I think that's an important thing to
8:14
understand.
8:16
And maybe you're going to say to me,
8:18
John, I don't quite get that.
8:20
I don't quite understand that.
8:24
And that can hurt people.
8:27
It can hurt people because they don't necessarily
8:29
know why things are going a certain way.
8:33
But I want to tell you that you
8:35
can make these changes in your life if
8:37
you believe you can.
8:39
If you believe you can't, well, you're also
8:40
right about those things, all right?
8:43
Our surroundings will always reinforce our behavior.
8:46
And the sooner that we learn that one
8:49
lesson, the sooner that we can make positive
8:52
change in our lives, all right?
8:56
Again, I didn't say yesterday.
8:57
I didn't say tomorrow.
8:58
I said, when we're in alignment.
9:04
When we're in alignment.
9:06
And that alignment will propel us to the
9:09
next level.
9:12
And the alignment gets us to act, gets
9:15
us to think, believe, and do the things
9:18
that we normally wouldn't if we weren't aligned,
9:22
OK?
9:26
That's important.
9:38
I think a lot of people, when they're
9:44
under a little pressure, they react, but they
9:46
don't necessarily take the time to, well, smell
9:50
the coffee, smell the roses.
9:52
Number 10, your room, calendar, and circle reflect
9:58
your identity.
10:01
Structure supports transformation, OK?
10:07
The transformation has the ability to empower you.
10:11
Number 11, guys, identity is built through evidence,
10:15
not intention.
10:17
That's where people go wrong.
10:20
Proof creates belief.
10:26
But when people are not aligned, guess what
10:28
happens?
10:31
This whole thing falls apart, right?
10:35
If there's no inner support, how does it
10:39
stay together?
10:40
Let's think about a tent for a minute,
10:42
OK?
10:42
You know, these pop-up tents.
10:44
If you don't have a good, solid support,
10:48
like the four legs, what's going to happen?
10:51
The tent is going to fall down, right?
10:55
Those tents need four legs to be able
10:58
to stand and support itself.
11:00
And then sometimes they even need sandbags or
11:03
the weights, two of them on each leg.
11:06
So that's basically eight different ones.
11:11
And that keeps it, if it's windy, you
11:12
need that.
11:14
Number 12, small wins reinforce identity transformation.
11:18
Now, progress builds internal certainty.
11:22
Stop using outdated, number 13, labels for yourself,
11:25
because that's going to get you into more
11:27
trouble.
11:28
Old identity blocks growth, yet people do it
11:33
every day.
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Why?
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Because the Joneses are doing it.
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And if the Joneses are doing it, well,
11:40
then I guess it's something we should be
11:42
doing.
11:42
Wrong, wrong answer.
11:45
Number 14, speak about yourself with intention and
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respect.
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Language shapes identity direction.
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It shapes it.
12:00
It molds it.
12:01
It creates it.
12:02
It becomes it.
12:07
But it doesn't just happen at the flick
12:10
of a switch or the snap of a
12:12
finger.
12:14
Many people don't get this paradigm of the
12:18
identity shift equals real change.
12:22
People try to change everything else, but they
12:24
don't try to change their identity.
12:27
And they're like, I'm still where I am.
12:30
I didn't make any changes.
12:32
And that drives people nuts.
12:35
You got to work on your identity, right?
12:38
That's the key.
12:40
Number 15, guys, act like your future self
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even in private.
12:50
People say, oh, what does it matter?
12:51
I'm in private.
12:52
Who really cares who asks?
12:53
It matters.
12:55
Because when you act a certain way in
12:59
private, you will act that way in public.
13:02
It becomes your identity.
13:04
Private behavior defines the public outcome.
13:07
Both say, oh, it doesn't really matter.
13:09
Nobody's here.
13:09
Nobody's watching me.
13:12
Your actions will take on a life of
13:14
their own if you're true to yourself.
13:21
If you're not true to yourself, they'll also
13:22
take on a life of their own.
13:24
But they'll take on a path that you
13:25
don't want to go down.
13:27
I think that's a very hard thing for
13:29
a lot of people is, why am I
13:30
not changing?
13:31
It's because your identity is not changing.
13:34
You know, give an example.
13:39
If you have a duck, and you dress
13:42
the duck up like a dog, it's still
13:46
a duck.
13:48
If you dress the duck up like any
13:51
other animal, maybe a deer, it's still a
13:54
duck, right?
13:57
So until we change our identity, you're not
14:00
going to change your identity of an animal.
14:01
But you get my point.
14:04
You have to be what you're becoming.
14:12
You have to believe that day in and
14:15
day out, number 16.
14:17
Think in roles such as creator, leader, and
14:22
builder.
14:23
These are paramount to your success.
14:27
Identity is role-based, OK?
14:31
It's not ego-based.
14:33
It is role-based.
14:34
And when you understand how to connect with
14:40
your identity and others, you become a true
14:44
servant leader.
14:46
You don't have any bad agenda items.
14:49
You're doing it because you think you're on
14:54
a path.
14:55
You're testing it.
14:57
And you're doing it with humility.
14:59
You start to get nudges that you're going
15:03
the right way.
15:05
Number 17, when identity changes, decisions change instantly.
15:12
But people don't change their identity instantly.
15:15
That's the whole problem.
15:16
Choices become automatic, autonomous, right?
15:19
How many times you go to grandma's house,
15:21
right?
15:21
And then during the week, you're at the
15:24
same traffic light.
15:25
And you have to make a left to
15:27
go somewhere else.
15:28
But you still make a right because you're
15:30
used to going to grandma's house.
15:32
You get my point.
15:34
The environment causes us to act without even
15:38
thinking.
15:39
Number 18, get ready for number 18.
15:44
I want you to align your habits with
15:47
the identity you are building.
15:53
People say to me, John, I've done all
15:54
these things, but I hadn't create wealth.
15:56
Well, keep doing those things.
15:59
If you do the things that will bring
16:03
you wealth, it will bring you wealth.
16:05
But it does not happen overnight.
16:09
Actions sometimes get people upset because they're not
16:14
getting what they want.
16:15
But when you keep doing the behavior that's
16:19
worked for others, it will work for you.
16:21
But it takes time.
16:23
Habits are identity signals, guys.
16:25
That's the key.
16:26
Number 19, choose one identity and act on
16:30
it today.
16:30
Could you do that?
16:31
Or tomorrow if you're going to bed now.
16:33
Identity requires activation.
16:37
Activation.
16:39
And that's a very interesting set of words.
16:44
Activation is basically an awareness of what something
16:51
is.
16:52
And your conscious mind's thoughts to take action
16:59
on it.
17:01
Number 20, guys.
17:03
Identity shifts are subtle, but they're very, very
17:06
powerful.
17:07
Small internal changes create large external results.
17:11
Did you hear what I said?
17:12
Small changes create big results.
17:15
Small changes, not big ones.
17:17
Number 21, you are constantly rewriting your default
17:21
settings.
17:22
Behavior is a program.
17:30
And behavior becomes programmable.
17:33
It can be changed.
17:35
But when a program's running, it's not so
17:37
easy to just do it unless we put
17:39
some work in.
17:40
We put some elbow grease in.
17:42
We put some conscious effort in.
17:44
Number 22, old identity is reactive, while new
17:50
identity is intentional.
17:53
And I said before, when you're planning, regardless
17:56
of whether you're trying to make sure there
18:00
isn't a disaster, when you plan and you're
18:04
proactive, it's better than being reactive.
18:06
Reactive is stressful.
18:08
You might miss things.
18:09
And if you don't make the right decision,
18:12
it could be 10 times worse because now
18:14
the emergency is there.
18:18
Awareness changes response patterns.
18:22
Again, not overnight, but it does change them.
18:26
Number 23, old identity is distracted, while new
18:31
identity is focused.
18:34
It's focused.
18:38
Attention reflects identity.
18:42
When you ask most people, what is their
18:46
identity?
18:46
What are they about?
18:48
They will just look at you with a
18:50
dead stare and be like, I don't know
18:53
what you're talking about.
18:55
I don't know what my identity is.
18:57
I get up every day, I do this,
18:59
I do that.
19:00
What's your identity?
19:00
Who are you?
19:02
Who are you to yourself?
19:03
Who are you to the world?
19:06
I'm a serial entrepreneur.
19:09
I'm an author.
19:10
I'm an engineer.
19:12
I'm a successful business person, a person that
19:15
creates what I need in my world, what
19:20
I want in my world, a person that
19:22
respects others, a person that understands there is
19:28
no no.
19:29
When I wanna make a change, I find
19:31
a way.
19:33
Nothing stops me from achieving my goals.
19:37
Number 24, old identity is stuck, while new
19:43
identity evolves.
19:45
That's why a lot of people don't wanna
19:46
change their identity.
19:47
Oh, I don't know if I wanna do
19:49
that.
19:49
I don't know if I'm ready for that.
19:51
I don't know what that's gonna entail.
19:53
They're scared.
19:56
Iteration, guys, replaces stagnation.
20:02
That's an interesting one.
20:04
So doing things over and over again gets
20:07
us to replace stagnation, or procrastination is the
20:11
bigger way to say that.
20:13
Number 25, identity-based motivation creates long-term
20:19
stability.
20:20
It outlasts our emotion.
20:24
So if we do something because of who
20:27
we are, even if we're not that person
20:30
yet, if we believe in it, we'll grow
20:34
into it.
20:35
I am becoming this.
20:36
I am becoming wealthy.
20:37
I am becoming successful.
20:39
I am becoming a great student.
20:41
I am becoming.
20:42
I am, I am, I am.
20:45
Because maybe you don't believe that you're that,
20:48
but you can believe that you're becoming it.
20:50
Each day you're getting closer to it.
20:52
And the mind won't really challenge that one.
20:56
I'm becoming a multimillionaire.
20:57
I'm becoming a great author.
20:59
I'm becoming a great friend.
21:03
I am becoming a wise business leader.
21:08
I'm becoming a global influencer.
21:11
I am becoming, a lot to think about
21:15
there, right?
21:16
Number 26, you are not pretending.
21:20
You are practicing your identity.
21:22
I think that's another important thing.
21:24
When people say these things, well, I'm not
21:26
that yet.
21:26
No, you're practicing your new identity.
21:29
And it won't be long, friends, until that
21:31
identity replaces your old.
21:35
And then you don't have to say, I'm
21:36
becoming.
21:37
I am.
21:38
Repetition will build your reality.
21:41
I know your mind's like, hey, I don't
21:44
believe in that.
21:46
So you can say, I'm becoming this.
21:51
I'm getting better every day.
21:53
Maybe you're learning a new language.
21:54
I'm getting better at Italian every day.
21:57
I'm getting better at this language every day.
22:02
I'm getting better at whatever it is I
22:03
wanna get better at.
22:05
And your mind will push you toward that,
22:08
like the RAS we talked about, like looking
22:10
at the cars on the road, right?
22:11
Their ticker activating system.
22:12
Number 27, your actions are proof of your
22:16
new identity.
22:17
Your actions, behavior validates the belief.
22:22
When you take certain steps, that's saying, hey,
22:26
I believe this is coming.
22:30
This is on the way.
22:33
It's in transit to me right now.
22:36
And it could arrive any day, any minute.
22:39
Number 28, stop identifying with the version you
22:43
are leaving.
22:46
That version's going, let it go.
22:47
Let it go, let go of it.
22:49
This whole week is about letting things go,
22:51
right?
22:52
Transition requires separation.
22:56
Separation becomes uncomfortable.
23:00
Success lies, ladies and gentlemen, where there is
23:04
discomfort.
23:07
It lies where there is discomfort.
23:13
Number 29, identity defines the ceiling of behavior.
23:20
The only ceiling, ladies and gentlemen, is what
23:23
you put on it.
23:24
There are no limits to anything.
23:26
It's what you make the ceiling to be.
23:31
Limits are self-constructed.
23:33
And that comes by you or by other
23:35
people around you from things you see, hear,
23:38
touch, taste, or smell.
23:41
So when you take in this data, be
23:45
aware of it, but don't let it limit
23:47
you.
23:49
That's a big key.
23:51
Number 30, this is the moment you stop
23:56
being the old version of you.
23:58
We always talk about what's one of my
24:00
goals here?
24:00
To help everyone become, including myself, better versions
24:03
of ourself every day, become even better.
24:06
Identity reset begins now.
24:10
You gotta be ready for it.
24:12
If you're not ready for it, it will
24:15
just keep moving.
24:16
The door that was once open will close,
24:20
and it may not open again for a
24:22
long time.
24:28
And that's the truth, guys.
24:32
Opportunities come by us, right?
24:35
And sometimes they come by, we see the
24:39
door, but the door's locked.
24:41
The door comes again, the door's open.
24:43
That's your moment to seize it and enter
24:45
the door.
24:46
Even if you see the door again, does
24:49
not mean the door is gonna be able
24:51
to be opened.
24:52
You may never see that door again, but
24:55
the opportunity to get in may not be
24:59
there anymore.
25:00
So when something presents itself, take the steps,
25:07
take the action.
25:10
In closing today, here is the truth.
25:13
Are you guys ready for the truth?
25:16
All right, you do not change your life
25:19
by force.
25:21
That's not how it works.
25:23
Many people think, oh, I gotta just push
25:24
this, I gotta just push this, I gotta
25:25
just pound this into you.
25:27
Nope, that's not gonna stay.
25:29
You change your life by your identity.
25:34
Because you see, identity determines behavior.
25:37
Now, I know what a lot of you're
25:38
saying, and it's a very, very, it's a
25:41
good question, okay?
25:43
People say this to me all the time,
25:45
and what is that question?
25:46
The question is, how do we program our
25:51
identity for success?
25:56
How do we do that?
25:58
How do we program our identity for success?
26:05
You gotta decide who you're becoming.
26:06
Don't ask, what do I wanna do and
26:09
be?
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Who do I wanna become?
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Create identity statements.
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I keep my promises, I solve problems, I
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create value every day.
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I become stronger through challenges.
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I choose progress over perfection.
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I'm becoming healthier.
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I'm walking more.
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I'm eating healthy meals.
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I'm drinking water.
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I am curbing my sweets.
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I'm still enjoying them, but I'm curbing them.
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I'm not having as much of them.
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Eliminate identity killers.
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I'm lazy, I'm bad with money, I'm terrible
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with technology, I'm always late.
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Get rid of those.
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Protect your environment.
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Books that educate, people inspire, like myself, keynote
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speakers and authors.
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Organize your workspace, healthy routines, visualize things with
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emotion, guys.
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Repeat until these become automatic.
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Every morning ask, who am I becoming?
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What does that person do today?
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What's one action I can take right now?
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Every evening ask, did my actions match my
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identity?
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Where did I improve?
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What's my next vote for the person I
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wanna become?
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The key is simple.
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Your identity shapes your habits.
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Your habits create your results.
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Your results reinforce your identity.
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When you intentionally strengthen that cycle with consistent
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actions, lasting change becomes much more likely than
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you thought was even possible.
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And behavior, ladies and gentlemen, will always determine
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the outcome.
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So if you want a new life, do
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not just change what you do.
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Change who you are becoming.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I am John C.
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Morley, serial entrepreneur, and this has been Inspirations
27:53
For Your Life.
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And this is where identity becomes transformation.
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That is the key to success.
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Have a great night, everyone.
28:03
And check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for more of
28:05
my amazing, inspiring creations.