Latest / Intentionally Blank / Who Serves The Dark Lord Best? — Intentionally Blank Ep. 261

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Who Serves The Dark Lord Best? — Intentionally Blank Ep. 261 · Intentionally Blank

• 0:03
  Hi Matt.
• 0:04
  Hi, Brandon.
• 0:06
  No Dan this week.
• 0:07
  He's still gone for a little while.
• 0:08
  Yeah.
• 0:09
  So I have invited fellow YouTuber, the innkeeper from the Dusty Wheel.
• 0:14
  He's laughing because his day job is running operations at Dragon Steel.
• 0:18
  That's right.
• 0:19
  But he moonlights as a YouTuber.
• 0:21
  I did for six years.
• 0:22
  I haven't done a lot of streaming recently.
• 0:24
  Yeah.
• 0:24
  I met Matt back in 2007.
• 0:28
  Yeah.
• 0:28
  Yeah.
• 0:29
  Yeah.
• 0:29
  Or 2008.
• 0:30
  It's probably 2008.
• 0:31
  In the Wheel of Time fandom.
• 0:33
  He ran a JordanCon at JordanCon 2008.
• 0:36
  No, it was DragonCon.
• 0:37
  It was before JordanCon existed.
• 0:39
  No, we didn't meet at DragonCon, did we?
• 0:40
  Didn't we?
• 0:41
  No, it was 2007, 2008.
• 0:43
  Did we meet at a DragonCon?
• 0:44
  I think we did because JordanCon didn't start for a few years after it got kicked out of DragonCon.
• 0:48
  So my first time meeting the fan base in general was the Jordan track at DragonCon.
• 0:53
  I don't know if that's where I met you, but I swear I met you very early on.
• 0:56
  Yeah, it was right around there.
• 0:57
  Because I knew you in time to convince Harriet to let you be a beta reader.
• 1:03
  Yeah.
• 1:04
  That was Towers of Midnight because she wouldn't let me.
• 1:06
  She was too scared of digital versions of books, and I couldn't get beta readers on the first one.
• 1:11
  Jason showed me like a printed out version.
• 1:14
  Yeah, I think.
• 1:14
  Yeah, I think Jason got to read, but I didn't get to use beta readers.
• 1:18
  But I knew you guys all well enough to try to get her to let me.
• 1:20
  Yeah, yeah.
• 1:21
  And it was the second book that I managed to get you.
• 1:23
  And you're the first person I pranked quite well with a beta read.
• 1:28
  I mean, no one's ever been pranked in a beta read better than that.
• 1:31
  I don't think so.
• 1:32
  I don't think everybody.
• 1:33
  There's no way.
• 1:34
  I I think for those who don't know, I put into Matt's copy just his some fun theory crafting and validation of theories that he had long loved that was only in his draft and no one else's.
• 1:47
  I wanted that so bad to be true.
• 1:49
  You don't understand how bad I just remember, I think the first time through really going like, yeah, this is possible.
• 1:57
  Uh-huh.
• 1:58
  It was really exaggerated.
• 2:00
  So yeah.
• 2:02
  Well, when Matt was spelled wrong a couple of times, made me go, this feels like more than a typo.
• 2:07
  Yeah, there's a character, for those who haven't read The Wheel of Time, Matt Coffin, who's spelled with one T, and he transformed into somebody else, maybe Matt Hatch, to interrogate some characters about it.
• 2:18
  It's a beautiful thing.
• 2:19
  It's out there on YouTube on the Dusty Wheel.
• 2:21
  We're not talking about the Wheel of Time today, Tonto.
• 2:24
  We we could talk about the Wheel of Time, but I think we've done that to death.
• 2:28
  Donald has an idea for us.
• 2:30
  I do indeed have an idea.
• 2:31
  You know, it's perfect that we're talking about villains.
• 2:34
  Like Segway, that was totally intentional.
• 2:36
  Yes, exactly.
• 2:37
  Like Matt has said, you know, we talk about all of our favorite villains so much: Sephiroth, Sauron, all these big villains.
• 2:43
  But what about the little guys?
• 2:45
  What about our favorite little dudes that we have to have to really bulk up the army?
• 2:50
  So today, I am presenting a tier list to the both of you that is the most generic of minions.
• 2:56
  And which ones are just the best?
• 2:58
  And so, like, is our criteria just like aesthetically the best, or do we like fighting the best?
• 3:04
  Or so how I personally envisioned it, I went, okay, if I am a lich, if I'm a supervillain, okay and I am picking this pick.
• 3:12
  Picking what level of competency, I suppose, in all of those areas, right?
• 3:18
  Do they fall within?
• 3:19
  Okay.
• 3:19
  Okay, if I'm a super villain is a good idea.
• 3:22
  Okay.
• 3:22
  So which were our favorite?
• 3:24
  All right.
• 3:24
  What's our first minion?
• 3:25
  Our first minion is, of course, the humble bandit.
• 3:28
  The bandit.
• 3:29
  Yes.
• 3:30
  So if I am a supervillain and I'm like ranking, how much do I want to hire the bandits?
• 3:36
  Yes.
• 3:37
  Like a small group of bandits, if you will.
• 3:39
  I mean, you need someone that can think.
• 3:42
  Uh-huh.
• 3:43
  And a bandit to me has some decent measure of intelligence.
• 3:47
  Okay.
• 3:48
  So where are you putting the bandit?
• 3:49
  So I mean, immediately I feel like a bandit has to at least be a B.
• 3:53
  Okay.
• 3:53
  Like.
• 3:54
  B for you.
• 3:55
  All right.
• 3:55
  I'm going to take a hot take on this.
• 3:56
  I'm going F.
• 3:57
  F on a bandit.
• 3:59
  So here's my problem with bandits.
• 4:00
  Okay.
• 4:01
  Every time I hire bandits, what happens?
• 4:04
  The heroes loot them and get their stuff that I paid for.
• 4:08
  Okay.
• 4:08
  Or they bribe them away and the bandits turn into Robin Hood and they're fighting me.
• 4:14
  Okay.
• 4:15
  Or they are just universally useless.
• 4:18
  Like, has a bandit ever even inconvenienced a hero?
• 4:23
  I don't think so.
• 4:24
  I find the bandits are pretty useless.
• 4:26
  I mean, sure, I see where you're going with that.
• 4:28
  I mean, but we are talking about like supervillains hiring kind of like our minion level.
• 4:33
  And they tend to have like, you know, they're like multifaceted, you know.
• 4:37
  They've been around, they've actually gone and pulled off, you know, whatever crime it is, and you're probably hired them because they're somewhat good at their at their trade.
• 4:46
  I just have had a different experience than you.
• 4:48
  The bandits I've hired have all been useless.
• 4:51
  No, that's fair.
• 4:52
  I mean, uh to me, I I guess maybe I was kind of preemptively looking along this list, going, like, I mean, I could talk to a bandit, I could expect a certain level of you talk to your minions?
• 5:02
  Of course.
• 5:05
  Minions are ridiculous bandits.
• 5:07
  They're they're out to be in the forest away from me.
• 5:09
  And I'm I'm not I'm not spending time.
• 5:11
  I mean, I can already see how different our list is gonna be.
• 5:13
  Uh-huh.
• 5:13
  So, so F for me.
• 5:15
  Bandits, not done well.
• 5:17
  Okay.
• 5:18
  Okay.
• 5:18
  Well, number two.
• 5:19
  Number two is currently it's bears, but it's beasts and giants.
• 5:23
  Beasts and giants.
• 5:24
  Giants and bears and tigers over.
• 5:25
  Non-magical beasts.
• 5:26
  Non-magical beasts.
• 5:27
  Non-magical beasts.
• 5:28
  We can't have hired magical beasts.
• 5:29
  Too expensive.
• 5:30
  What?
• 5:30
  Owlbears are pretty decent.
• 5:32
  I've had some good owl bears.
• 5:34
  That's fair.
• 5:34
  I'll give you that.
• 5:35
  But they're pricey.
• 5:36
  They are pricey and owl bears are pretty pricey.
• 5:38
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:40
  Beasts.
• 5:41
  Beasts.
• 5:42
  I don't know.
• 5:42
  I went first list last time.
• 5:43
  Where are you putting a beast?
• 5:44
  I'm putting beasts in B, not just the beast.
• 5:47
  So I don't have to outfit them.
• 5:49
  Okay.
• 5:50
  Right?
• 5:51
  I don't have to pay them.
• 5:53
  Okay.
• 5:54
  Right?
• 5:54
  Right.
• 5:55
  I tend to live in environments where the beasts just can naturally be there.
• 5:59
  If they get hungry and don't have anything, that's good.
• 6:02
  They will eat.
• 6:03
  And once in a while I end up with one that's actually like cool, and I can, you know, cast one of my charms on, and it can just be a companion instead.
• 6:11
  Sit in my lap, per when the heroes are attempting to get to me.
• 6:16
  Like beasts are, they could be, in fact, I'm moving them to an A.
• 6:20
  Beasts are an A.
• 6:22
  Yeah.
• 6:22
  Beasts are an A.
• 6:23
  Wow.
• 6:23
  We definitely, you know, I'd much rather hang out with a nice lion who's gotten it, you know, an enchantment on them, but you know, than any of these bandits.
• 6:33
  They're just going to eat my food and take my coin and then it's going to end up in the pockets of the adventurers.
• 6:37
  I feel like if you're bringing enchantments in, then I can enchant a bandit to not care about money or not care about clothes or not care.
• 6:44
  What I mean is like if I just take a beast from the very basics of it, even the very basics.
• 6:48
  I can't direct the beast to do anything.
• 6:50
  You can't direct the beast.
• 6:51
  You just put them there and they eat people when they try to get to you.
• 6:54
  That's what they're for.
• 6:55
  That's really, really basic.
• 6:56
  It's like you can't direct the bandit.
• 6:58
  The beast walks off, and at least the bandit's being paid and feels like he has some obligation to you.
• 7:03
  The beast is sitting in front of a cave and they're clear.
• 7:08
  They will steal from you.
• 7:10
  I've had it happen.
• 7:11
  I mean, I'm not saying you haven't, but I'm saying generally, beasts, I mean, the way I think from a just a villain strategic perspective is I want to be able to, without having to, you know, enchant them or whatever, get some meaningful strategic, like go do a thing.
• 7:34
  But this is a struggle for me now.
• 7:35
  As I start to compare these beasts and bandits, I mean, I would probably throw a beast.
• 7:40
  I mean, I'm gonna say C for beast, right?
• 7:43
  C for beast.
• 7:43
  Yeah, yeah.
• 7:44
  It feels like a mid-tier for me.
• 7:46
  Like I can't depend fully upon them, but also they're gonna come in handy every once in a while.
• 7:50
  So yeah.
• 7:51
  We'll see if if anything can beat them.
• 7:53
  They may have to move up to A tier for me.
• 7:55
  In my experience, the bears that I've hired are smarter than the bandits I've hired.
• 8:00
  Okay.
• 8:00
  Back me up on this, other villains.
• 8:02
  Have the bears you've put, have they been number one, more scary to the heroes?
• 8:07
  And number two, have they been better company?
• 8:10
  I think that they I mean, the amount of times I've run away from a beast in a game, you know, as a villain, and then been able to kind of go back to what I needed to get to because I bypassed them because they ended up scratching themselves against a tree or something.
• 8:21
  I just uh I don't see it, but I I hear you.
• 8:23
  All right.
• 8:23
  Well, we'll just have you fight the Rune Bears and Elden Ring and see if you can change your mind.
• 8:28
  Indeed.
• 8:29
  All right.
• 8:29
  Well, this one's for you know us new age kids.
• 8:32
  This is the the humble creeper.
• 8:33
  Matt, do you know what the creeper is?
• 8:35
  Not very humble.
• 8:36
  That hurts.
• 8:37
  Um do I know what the creeper is?
• 8:38
  I'm just sure.
• 8:39
  Yes, somewhat.
• 8:41
  All right.
• 8:42
  Okay.
• 8:42
  Listen, listen.
• 8:44
  I was there on Reddit when Notch was like pitching Minecraft to people.
• 8:49
  That's fair.
• 8:49
  That's fair.
• 8:50
  Wow.
• 8:50
  Back when Reddit was nothing, I was there in those threads with this guy saying, Hey, what do you guys think of my new game?
• 8:55
  Back in my day.
• 8:56
  Back in my day.
• 8:58
  Uh my day.
• 8:59
  Um the problem is creepers blow up your stuff.
• 9:02
  Yes.
• 9:03
  That is the unfortunateity of it.
• 9:05
  That reminded me on creepers, particularly, is it a known like quantity of when they're gonna blow up?
• 9:10
  Yeah, they they hiss.
• 9:11
  Yeah, they like a fuse.
• 9:13
  But they just do it whenever they get close to like you can get them to think of you as a villain, they won't blow up near you.
• 9:20
  But any hero, they just explode and they totally blow up your stuff.
• 9:25
  Yeah.
• 9:26
  I like the creeper as kind of like drop them, you know, in a room that I don't want somebody to come into and they randomly run into the room.
• 9:32
  Yeah, but then your room is gone.
• 9:33
  It is, it is.
• 9:34
  But I mean it's kind of like behind the door kind of situation.
• 9:37
  You're right, the door's gone at that point.
• 9:38
  I mean, that's why to me, immediately I'm like, I look at the bandits, the bears, and the creeper kind of is in that D range for me.
• 9:45
  It's I'm D on a creeper as well.
• 9:47
  That makes sense.
• 9:47
  It's interesting.
• 9:48
  I'm sure you can find a use for him, but in the end, too much damage.
• 9:52
  Too much damage.
• 9:53
  Okay.
• 9:54
  Next one we have, represented by the imp from Doom, is your low-tier demons and devils.
• 9:59
  Low tier demons and devils.
• 10:01
  Little dudes are flying around.
• 10:02
  Nothing big and scary out of the portal, just like just a little dude.
• 10:06
  You know, they've work, they do what they're supposed to.
• 10:09
  I mean, it depends on how powerful your summoning circle in your contracts are.
• 10:13
  Yeah.
• 10:14
  If you're bad at contracts, you just don't want them.
• 10:16
  Um, they're more troubled than they're worth.
• 10:18
  But if you're good at contracts, you got a good summoning circle.
• 10:21
  They do what they're supposed to do.
• 10:22
  Yeah.
• 10:23
  They throw a little fireball at the heroes and distract them and then die.
• 10:27
  Yeah.
• 10:27
  I like them.
• 10:27
  They bring kind of the maybe what I when beasts, but they're kind of like a I I guess I look think of it as a like a beast that I can somewhat direct or control.
• 10:35
  Okay.
• 10:35
  In a way.
• 10:36
  So it almost jumps the bandit for me.
• 10:39
  I think I would I would probably put them above a bandit.
• 10:42
  They're kind of an A tier for me.
• 10:43
  A tier for you.
• 10:44
  Okay.
• 10:44
  Okay.
• 10:45
  So there's a lot of variety in this category, and I've had it go wrong before.
• 10:51
  Like the problem with them is they are always looking to scheme against you, which is to their credit.
• 10:57
  Sure.
• 10:58
  Right?
• 10:58
  Yeah.
• 10:58
  That is to their credit.
• 11:00
  But it takes a little bit more watching.
• 11:02
  Then unlike the bandits, they're competent at it, which is bad, but also impressive.
• 11:08
  Like, you know.
• 11:09
  It's the kind of minion that I would want, more so than the bandits.
• 11:13
  I mean, I feel like they're definitely about the bandits are F for me.
• 11:15
  So for me, I'm gonna stick them.
• 11:18
  I'll stick them in in A as well.
• 11:20
  Okay.
• 11:20
  I like A for So far what we have on the table, it feels like Okay.
• 11:25
  I'll go A ghost.
• 11:26
  All right.
• 11:26
  All right.
• 11:27
  This next one is just simply represented by ghosts.
• 11:30
  Ghosts, man, ghosts and specters.
• 11:32
  I thought we're gonna speak that specific ghost.
• 11:34
  No, man, that's we're we're representing Clyde as our ghost.
• 11:38
  But yes.
• 11:38
  So I found ghosts to be miss more than hit.
• 11:43
  So they are so wrapped up in their own bo is me, I died, blah, blah, blah.
• 11:48
  Why did you murder me?
• 11:50
  I'm like, you were in my way, right?
• 11:52
  And they're line, wine, wine, wine, wine.
• 11:55
  You don't want to be near them.
• 11:56
  They are more powerful, but I mean, the whining.
• 12:00
  Yeah, I mean, the ghost, what kind of you know, extras are we talking about here?
• 12:05
  Do they have any ability to kind of like corporate?
• 12:07
  Like can they actually like pick up things?
• 12:09
  Can they cast, enchant, I think, effect?
• 12:11
  Or are we just talking like a ghost that just basically showed up?
• 12:15
  Shows up, yeah.
• 12:16
  I think your basic low-tier ghost is like I have died, I for whatever reason could not return.
• 12:22
  I can't take over your body.
• 12:24
  I am just kind of a scary corporeal.
• 12:28
  This is this is the F tier for me.
• 12:29
  Okay, um, this is the, you know, again.
• 12:32
  I'm not I'm not gonna go F, I'll go D, but the same sentiment.
• 12:35
  It's the I mean, this is kind of like just as a, you know, I like to scare people kind of thing.
• 12:39
  And so I throw a ghost in there to kind of just remind them, you know, that they might be.
• 12:43
  Maybe you just have to deal with the whining.
• 12:45
  Yeah, it's really hard to keep them contained, too.
• 12:47
  They just show up.
• 12:48
  You're there, you know, you're watching your orb, right?
• 12:51
  And there's something good on the orb.
• 12:53
  There's like a city being burned down that they got on footage, and then there's just like this ghost whining.
• 12:58
  Yeah.
• 12:58
  Yeah.
• 12:59
  All the time.
• 13:00
  All the time.
• 13:00
  I mean, I still can't believe you put ghosts above bandits, but whatever.
• 13:05
  I mean, bandits wine too.
• 13:06
  Have you heard the bandits whine?
• 13:08
  Oh, we're gonna unionize.
• 13:13
  You haven't had your bandits try to unionize?
• 13:15
  They do it all the time.
• 13:16
  I mean, at the end of the day, at least they feel some reason to do something.
• 13:21
  I mean, I feel like ghosts you can't really direct very well anyway.
• 13:24
  So all right.
• 13:25
  Well, speaking of, you know, people you could speak with, goblins.
• 13:28
  The classic, the tried and true.
• 13:30
  Wait a minute.
• 13:31
  You have goblins and orcs on here.
• 13:33
  I do have goblins and orcs.
• 13:34
  They're the same thing.
• 13:35
  It dependent upon who you ask.
• 13:37
  Wow.
• 13:38
  But they are the same thing.
• 13:39
  Goblin is just a mistranslation of orc.
• 13:41
  How granular do you want to get with this?
• 13:44
  Uh the there is no granularity.
• 13:46
  Shall we talk?
• 13:47
  I've got Saruman on orb right here.
• 13:49
  He will tell you.
• 13:51
  Everyone's in the comments right now going, I agree with Brad.
• 13:54
  Look, I'm just if we're looking at you know, others realms, some realms would argue that orcs and goblins are stupid.
• 14:02
  Those are stupid realms.
• 14:04
  I can't believe you think we're gonna put them on different levels, but hey, you know what?
• 14:08
  Competencies, competencies.
• 14:10
  What?
• 14:10
  They're the same thing.
• 14:12
  All right, yeah.
• 14:12
  We will we will rank both at the same time.
• 14:15
  Now, if they you want those other orcs to be Uruk High, then maybe, but that's not an Uruk high that you've got to picture.
• 14:21
  I do not all right, just saying I've we can call up Saruman.
• 14:26
  Like we play cards every weekend, but he has nice cards built from the body's vents.
• 14:33
  Ah, that would be very fun to play with.
• 14:35
  Yeah, I won't lie.
• 14:36
  So goblins, I mean, goblins are your straight up C for me.
• 14:40
  Okay, right?
• 14:41
  The idea being this is your average minion.
• 14:44
  You can do better, you can do worse, you work with what you have.
• 14:48
  Sometimes you have access only to goblins slash orcs, and you know, the whole not being able to move during the day thing is a problem, but being able to make more out of mud and slime is pretty handy, right?
• 15:04
  So they're classic, yeah.
• 15:05
  They're classic fodder for me.
• 15:07
  Yeah, yeah.
• 15:08
  You need a big army.
• 15:09
  Yeah, you're not gonna be able to get a big army of bandits, they'll just wander off.
• 15:13
  Yeah, right.
• 15:13
  Big army of beasts, no, obviously, they eat each other, right?
• 15:17
  I'm gonna throw mine in.
• 15:18
  I mean, with the in the beast, I mean that's where the goblins kind of sit for me.
• 15:20
  I I'm gonna put them in C for me.
• 15:22
  Okay, I would I would throw them in that same realm of not that trustworthy.
• 15:28
  Uh-huh.
• 15:28
  Just from an intelligence standpoint, yeah.
• 15:31
  Similar to the beast in that way.
• 15:32
  So they kind of run at C for me.
• 15:34
  Again, C is like I would still hire them, but they're kind of my cannon fodder.
• 15:39
  Okay.
• 15:39
  Super fair.
• 15:40
  Speaking of cannon fodder, you know, from one realm that most people know, the humble Goomba.
• 15:45
  Oh, yeah, I've hired Goombas before.
• 15:47
  Okay, makes sense.
• 15:48
  They're they're they're staple in the uh in the militaries, I have.
• 15:51
  I mean, I don't think there is an easier F than a Goomba, except for one thing.
• 15:56
  Okay.
• 15:56
  They are so funny.
• 15:58
  They are funny.
• 15:58
  Like when they squish, like just wandering around doing their thing.
• 16:03
  Like as a minion, they make me laugh.
• 16:07
  Right.
• 16:08
  Right?
• 16:08
  But they're useless.
• 16:10
  They are useless.
• 16:10
  They're very useless.
• 16:12
  Does being a stress reliever give them a bump?
• 16:14
  I think it does.
• 16:15
  I'll put them.
• 16:16
  I'm gonna actually move a Goomba up to a B, but only one Goomba.
• 16:19
  What a single Goomba.
• 16:20
  No, not B.
• 16:21
  C.
• 16:21
  Sorry, C.
• 16:22
  I still can't believe Goomba's are beating out bandits.
• 16:24
  Yeah, one Goomba.
• 16:26
  You had the joy of one Goomba hanging around.
• 16:28
  They just like run into walls.
• 16:29
  Have you seen them run into walls?
• 16:31
  Sure, but I mean, yeah.
• 16:33
  I just don't understand your hilarious.
• 16:35
  I mean, I would say Goomba's for Oh man.
• 16:39
  I mean, I I don't derive the pleasure of their company like Brandon does.
• 16:43
  So I'm gonna put them in that, yeah.
• 16:45
  I think the F F tier for me.
• 16:46
  Yeah, it's just I mean they they are somehow hybrid a split A and F for me because they're an A for amusingness and F for usefulness.
• 16:56
  So that's why C is fair, halfway between.
• 16:59
  I see it now because they can you cut my Goomba in half?
• 17:02
  I will do my best.
• 17:03
  Okay, cut my Goomba in half and put half of him in A and half of him in in F.
• 17:06
  Okay.
• 17:07
  Sounds good.
• 17:08
  Yeah.
• 17:09
  All right.
• 17:09
  Brandon, I know you know what a grunt is.
• 17:11
  Matt, do you know what a grunt is?
• 17:13
  You say a grunt.
• 17:13
  Give me an example.
• 17:14
  Grunt from Halo.
• 17:15
  This is quite literally a grunger from Halo that we're we're pulling from.
• 17:19
  Okay.
• 17:19
  Think uh scared little I mean, they're just Goombas.
• 17:24
  Yeah, roughly.
• 17:27
  Goombas with guns.
• 17:28
  I don't know if you actually know this, but there are only a few grunts, and they're immortal.
• 17:34
  I didn't actually know this.
• 17:36
  They don't make a big deal of it, but see, they got that guy in that place that they just need to keep occupied and they like to have fun with him.
• 17:44
  And so they've got these little immortal dudes that they just have show up and just distract him and run around and do stupid stuff.
• 17:51
  Right.
• 17:51
  And sometimes they give him a rocket launcher.
• 17:53
  It's actually pretty funny.
• 17:54
  That is pretty funny.
• 17:55
  But he doesn't know they're immortal, don't tell him.
• 17:56
  Okay, right?
• 17:57
  He'll stop fighting him and things like that.
• 18:00
  But yeah, there's actually this, I think there's only five of the dudes out there.
• 18:04
  That explains why most of them are named Yap Yap.
• 18:06
  Yeah, there's only a couple.
• 18:07
  I mean, there might be like six.
• 18:08
  Okay.
• 18:08
  But I feel like I can already rate this for you.
• 18:10
  Yeah.
• 18:10
  But I'm gonna wait.
• 18:11
  I'm gonna, in my head, I'm gonna be like, where are you gonna put this in your room?
• 18:13
  Where am I gonna put this?
• 18:14
  I mean, without a rocket launcher, they're probably a D.
• 18:17
  Okay.
• 18:17
  Like, I'm gonna be straight with you.
• 18:19
  Yeah, really, they're just there to distract that one dude.
• 18:22
  Yeah.
• 18:23
  And they do a decent job of it, but when I've hired them, they're just useless.
• 18:27
  So, right, yeah.
• 18:29
  This one's tough.
• 18:30
  This is a C D kind of between the two.
• 18:32
  They're less so somebody I would pull in in the C range.
• 18:35
  Oh, yeah, I'm gonna throw them D.
• 18:36
  I'm also a D here.
• 18:37
  Yeah, yeah.
• 18:37
  This is the creepers.
• 18:38
  Yeah, yeah.
• 18:39
  All right.
• 18:40
  This one could be a bit of a headache.
• 18:41
  Head crab.
• 18:42
  The head crab from Half-Life, Half-Life 2.
• 18:44
  You know, it could be argued as a zombie subset, but yeah, technically, they are a small alien unto themselves.
• 18:52
  Yeah.
• 18:52
  I mean, I've had good experiences with head crabs.
• 18:55
  Okay.
• 18:55
  Yeah.
• 18:55
  You get a lot of bang for your buck with a head crab because whatever it kills, it can reanimate.
• 18:59
  So if you can get a head crab on the right thing, they're really low cost.
• 19:03
  Yeah.
• 19:03
  You stick them in places that they're unexpected, and then sometimes you get a decent minion out of them.
• 19:09
  I'm gonna give head crabs a B.
• 19:10
  Okay.
• 19:11
  Yeah.
• 19:11
  They're very two for one.
• 19:12
  Yeah.
• 19:13
  Yeah.
• 19:13
  I'm there again.
• 19:14
  Uh I mean how how intelligent is a head crab?
• 19:17
  Not intelligent.
• 19:17
  But once it's got a dude, decent intelligent.
• 19:20
  Yeah, decent intelligent.
• 19:21
  Once it is, once it's got a dude, once it's got something, then you know.
• 19:25
  I mean, it is Eldrich Horror Alien Monster.
• 19:28
  Yeah.
• 19:29
  And in that subcategory, you really can't control them that well.
• 19:32
  Like, you'll get one and you'll come back, you'll be like, hey, you were supposed to be watching post number C, and they're just like standing there drooling instead.
• 19:40
  Or they've like killed a bunch of your other minions.
• 19:42
  Following in line with kind of how I'm rating these things, um, they're C for me.
• 19:45
  They're C, that's fair.
• 19:46
  Yeah, that follows into it.
• 19:47
  I mean, they are the best bang for your buck on this board right now.
• 19:49
  Yeah, I don't know.
• 19:50
  But they do have their problems.
• 19:51
  Yeah.
• 19:52
  That's fair.
• 19:53
  Alrighty, the tried and true, truly, yeah.
• 19:56
  The mimic.
• 19:56
  I mean, if there's an S, it's the mimic.
• 19:58
  Like, yeah.
• 19:59
  Have you seen how hilarious it is?
• 20:02
  No.
• 20:02
  Like, mimics get even some of the best and most skilled heroes, they get excited to buy the goods.
• 20:10
  Like the top-tier people get eaten by a mimic sometimes.
• 20:14
  And it's hilarious every time.
• 20:16
  I've got some videos I'll show you.
• 20:18
  Uh yeah.
• 20:19
  I mean, if you're that excited, how intelligent are they?
• 20:22
  I know this seems like a they tend to be pretty intelligent.
• 20:24
  Yeah.
• 20:25
  Yeah.
• 20:25
  Their biggest problem is they're not very mobile.
• 20:27
  Okay.
• 20:28
  You can get the leg versions, but they just kind of sit there.
• 20:31
  And they often have tells.
• 20:33
  Like you gotta watch out for those adventurers who know to hit their treasure chest with a sword before they, you know, are they can see the teeth or the tongue.
• 20:41
  Chains are a problem.
• 20:42
  Careful chains.
• 20:43
  Okay, yeah.
• 20:43
  My first S tier then on that one.
• 20:45
  Okay.
• 20:46
  Super fair.
• 20:47
  Alrighty.
• 20:48
  You know, we have the bandits.
• 20:49
  We have to go to the other side.
• 20:51
  The ninjas.
• 20:52
  One that we've seen in all over the place.
• 20:54
  They just seem to pop out of nowhere.
• 20:56
  So the question is how many ninjas?
• 21:00
  Do you know about the law, the ninja law?
• 21:02
  I don't know about the ninja law.
• 21:03
  So this is straight from Christopher Hastings, who's uh one of the world's leading ninja researcher and experts who discovered that a single ninja is a deadly, unstoppable force, and a group of ninjas are absolutely useless morons who will die in giant numbers.
• 21:24
  The more ninjas you add to a group, the less competent your ninjas are.
• 21:29
  Okay.
• 21:30
  And the ninjas also have the problem of they have a shocking percentage of them turn into heroes.
• 21:38
  Like a shocking number of ninjas go hero.
• 21:42
  Right.
• 21:42
  Particularly if they start off as minion ninjas and then every other one of them dies.
• 21:47
  You need to kill the one survivor immediately.
• 21:51
  Or the chances of that one going hero, it's like 99 times out of 10 that will go hero.
• 21:57
  And a hero ninja is just.
• 22:00
  A serious problem.
• 22:01
  Right.
• 22:01
  Yeah.
• 22:01
  Okay.
• 22:02
  So it's is it too much of an organizational risk to have Oh, yeah.
• 22:06
  I've stopped using ninjas for that reason.
• 22:09
  Okay.
• 22:09
  But I can see people like they are effective, is the problem, right?
• 22:13
  Like even a group of moron ninjas are better than a group of bandits for sure.
• 22:17
  But but when there's one left, he swears vengeance upon your family.
• 22:22
  Right.
• 22:22
  Right.
• 22:23
  That is a headache.
• 22:24
  And then he suddenly gains invisibility powers that they would never use in me.
• 22:29
  And suddenly those stars, they start hitting rather than missing.
• 22:32
  It's it's a real problem.
• 22:34
  I'm I'm not worried about the ninjas.
• 22:36
  I think they're A tier for me.
• 22:37
  I mean, that's that's okay.
• 22:39
  I I will put them in A, but they got a big old asterisk.
• 22:42
  I agree with you.
• 22:43
  Like I can't, in good conscience, put ninjas too low, but that asterisk is a serious asterisk.
• 22:49
  Don't hire ninjas, even if they're effective.
• 22:52
  I'm just warning you, you're gonna have a problem.
• 22:54
  I would love to see a hero ninja and then take down the hero ninja.
• 22:57
  Yeah.
• 22:58
  That's true.
• 22:58
  It is a good reputational boost if you can get away with it.
• 23:00
  Yeah.
• 23:01
  All right.
• 23:02
  Since we're we're changing it to Urukai.
• 23:05
  Urakai, yes.
• 23:06
  So Urukai, go and be for me.
• 23:08
  They are just better goblins.
• 23:10
  Okay.
• 23:10
  Better and better orcs.
• 23:12
  Now you have me doing it, calling you goblins.
• 23:16
  I mean, if I look at my bandits, I mean I'm gonna just chuck them in.
• 23:21
  They're they better or equal to bandits?
• 23:25
  That is a good question.
• 23:27
  I mean, as I'm tearing this, I mean, they're A tier for me.
• 23:30
  Okay.
• 23:31
  Yeah, yeah, Urukai.
• 23:32
  Totally fair.
• 23:33
  They're working within the, you know, my philosophy of minions here.
• 23:37
  I could be persuaded, I mean, Uruk Hai did take down like a major hero.
• 23:43
  Yeah.
• 23:44
  Like, has anyone else on on this list actually taken down a major hero?
• 23:49
  Anyone on the list?
• 23:50
  Well, ninjas, but only after they turn good.
• 23:52
  Right.
• 23:52
  Mimics can get them, but they don't often kill them.
• 23:55
  They just, you know, depends on the mimic.
• 23:56
  They very much inconvenience them.
• 23:58
  Like we've got an A-list top-tier hero that was taken down by Uruk Hai.
• 24:03
  Yeah.
• 24:03
  So I'll bump them up to A.
• 24:05
  That's a minion perspective.
• 24:06
  Yeah.
• 24:06
  Yeah.
• 24:07
  Yeah.
• 24:07
  Yeah.
• 24:08
  For your money, like those Urukai, they can get it done.
• 24:11
  They can get it done.
• 24:13
  Alrighty.
• 24:13
  Represented by the Skaven from Warhammer.
• 24:16
  Rats.
• 24:16
  Rats.
• 24:16
  Rats are just a common stick them in the castle.
• 24:19
  You can put one in the rats.
• 24:20
  Giant rats or sentient rats?
• 24:21
  Because skaven or sentient rats.
• 24:23
  Giant rats.
• 24:23
  Giant rats.
• 24:24
  So yeah.
• 24:25
  Those are just beasts to me.
• 24:26
  Yeah.
• 24:26
  Okay.
• 24:27
  Yeah.
• 24:27
  I mean, that's my that's my D tier.
• 24:29
  I would I wouldn't even Okay.
• 24:31
  No, no.
• 24:31
  Oh, they're beasts.
• 24:32
  They're just equal up there.
• 24:33
  They're just beasts.
• 24:33
  Yeah.
• 24:33
  My Goobos and Haskell.
• 24:35
  You're putting rats at A to your minion, huh?
• 24:37
  The giant rat.
• 24:38
  Yeah.
• 24:38
  Yeah.
• 24:38
  Giant rat.
• 24:39
  I have to because I just put beasts there, right?
• 24:41
  Okay.
• 24:41
  Yeah, yeah.
• 24:41
  I just lump them in beasts.
• 24:43
  Okay.
• 24:43
  That's fair.
• 24:43
  Okay.
• 24:44
  Alrighty.
• 24:44
  Represented by the mere robots.
• 24:46
  You know, not a lot of experience with those.
• 24:49
  Okay.
• 24:49
  I don't live on a sci-fi realm.
• 24:52
  I've heard that they act an awful lot like ninjas that they will eventually just try to take you over, but I'm going to have to abstain.
• 24:59
  Just never had a chance.
• 25:00
  I can what's your program?
• 25:02
  I can program robots.
• 25:03
  Basically, robots to me become, you know, it's like bandits with all of the problems.
• 25:07
  Okay.
• 25:08
  So you're going to have to.
• 25:09
  I mean, robots at least are A tier for me at this point.
• 25:12
  That's totally fair.
• 25:12
  I mean, I feel like they're so adaptable.
• 25:15
  They scare me.
• 25:16
  Like they have those blinking lights.
• 25:17
  They just, I whenever I try to use my wands and things, they just don't do it, it doesn't do anything to them.
• 25:23
  Yeah.
• 25:24
  I might be convinced to move them up to S tier.
• 25:26
  They might be there.
• 25:26
  Okay.
• 25:27
  Okay.
• 25:27
  Well, I'll trust you.
• 25:28
  I'm going to leave them there.
• 25:29
  I'm going to leave them there.
• 25:30
  If I if I ever find myself in such a realm, I will look into some robots.
• 25:35
  Alrighty.
• 25:35
  We'll skip over this one.
• 25:36
  We'll go to we'll go to- You can't skip sharks.
• 25:38
  You want to skip sharks?
• 25:39
  All right, sharks.
• 25:40
  Do they have lasers on their frickin' heads?
• 25:43
  Well, from my understanding, you're not in the sci-fi realm.
• 25:46
  So for you, you're Oh yeah, but I've hired things.
• 25:49
  Like I'm not sure.
• 25:49
  You can pull from other Okay.
• 25:51
  That's too much of an upgrade for base minion.
• 25:53
  We're thinking like Moat frickin' lasers.
• 25:56
  Moat level shark.
• 25:57
  Moat level shark.
• 25:58
  Yes.
• 25:58
  They can't have sharks in a moat.
• 26:00
  They need moving water.
• 26:01
  Fair.
• 26:02
  Have you never done this before?
• 26:05
  Mine come with a, you know, they have this is the smallest upgrade possible.
• 26:09
  Moat level sharks.
• 26:10
  Oh, so okay, moat sharks.
• 26:12
  Moat sharks.
• 26:12
  Moat sharks.
• 26:13
  Okay.
• 26:13
  I'm going to put them in S tier.
• 26:15
  Okay.
• 26:16
  Yep.
• 26:17
  Uh moat sharks.
• 26:18
  If you can get moat sharks, the aura you receive from moat sharks.
• 26:22
  Like if you're giving me actual straight up enhanced moat sharks, like you don't understand the amount of aura you get.
• 26:29
  There's a lot of aura.
• 26:30
  Like when the heroes get there and they're like, they are sharks.
• 26:33
  Now, are these, wait a minute, what kind of sharks?
• 26:36
  Are these like those little bamboo sharks?
• 26:38
  You're not pulling one over on me, are you?
• 26:40
  No, no, no, no.
• 26:40
  I thought you got like a picture every year of a great white.
• 26:43
  I get great whites in my moat.
• 26:44
  Yeah.
• 26:45
  These are nurse sharks.
• 26:46
  These are true great whites.
• 26:47
  They tried to pitch me on the nurse sharks.
• 26:49
  Even without the lasers on the frickin' heads, they're definitely an S.
• 26:53
  Okay.
• 26:53
  Your heroes must love you.
• 26:56
  Have you seen hilarious uh minions?
• 26:59
  The sharks eat people.
• 27:01
  They do it all the time.
• 27:02
  How many actual deaths in our world have been caused by Goombas, goblins, ninjas?
• 27:15
  I mean ninjas.
• 27:16
  Ninjas didn't really exist.
• 27:18
  Robots.
• 27:19
  How many have been caused by sharks and dogs?
• 27:24
  I mean Yes.
• 27:26
  Okay.
• 27:26
  Okay.
• 27:27
  I rest my case.
• 27:29
  I rest my case.
• 27:30
  There's case.
• 27:30
  There's still D tier for me.
• 27:32
  Ah shoot.
• 27:33
  They're in that C tier for me.
• 27:34
  Okay.
• 27:34
  Yeah, yeah.
• 27:36
  It's following in line.
• 27:37
  If someone's watching out there and they are, you know, a supervillain like me, they're understanding.
• 27:41
  They're understanding why they would be in C.
• 27:43
  Okay.
• 27:44
  All right.
• 27:44
  We'll speedrun a last few.
• 27:45
  Okay, yeah, because we're out of time.
• 27:47
  Skeletons and zombies together.
• 27:49
  These are a classic.
• 27:50
  Skeletons, zombies.
• 27:51
  B.
• 27:52
  B?
• 27:53
  Uh B also.
• 27:54
  All right.
• 27:54
  I have good necromantic skills.
• 27:56
  I'm able to control them pretty well.
• 27:57
  Totally fair.
• 27:58
  Yeah.
• 27:58
  Slimes.
• 27:59
  Slimes.
• 28:00
  F.
• 28:01
  Slimes D for me.
• 28:03
  D?
• 28:03
  All right.
• 28:04
  Spiders.
• 28:04
  Spiders.
• 28:06
  Giant spiders?
• 28:07
  Giant spiders.
• 28:07
  About the same size as the rest.
• 28:08
  S tier for me.
• 28:09
  Oh wow.
• 28:09
  Definitely not an S tier for me.
• 28:11
  They go with beasts.
• 28:12
  They're in B.
• 28:12
  Okay.
• 28:13
  Alrighty.
• 28:13
  Turrets.
• 28:14
  Oh no.
• 28:14
  I put beasts in A, so they're an A.
• 28:16
  They're an A?
• 28:17
  Okay.
• 28:17
  Whoop.
• 28:17
  Turrets.
• 28:18
  Turrets.
• 28:18
  That's a robot.
• 28:19
  That is that is kind of like a robot.
• 28:21
  A robot scares me.
• 28:22
  Okay.
• 28:22
  Yeah.
• 28:23
  My wands don't work on them.
• 28:24
  C tier.
• 28:25
  C tier.
• 28:25
  Yeah.
• 28:26
  All right.
• 28:26
  Okay.
• 28:26
  That's all I've got.
• 28:27
  All right.
• 28:28
  I want to I want to poll down below.
• 28:30
  I want you to tell us whose tier list is better.
• 28:33
  This isn't fair.
• 28:34
  You should be seeing them on screen now.
• 28:36
  Whose tier list is, you know, more.
• 28:38
  It's more accurate, villains, to your experience of effectiveness of villains.
• 28:42
  Yeah.
• 28:43
  Yeah.
• 28:43
  It has to be that.
• 28:44
  And if you want to take this tier list for yourself, we'll put it in the description.
• 28:46
  Show us yours.
• 28:47
  We'd love to see what you do with it.
• 28:49
  Okay.
• 28:49
  Alrighty.
• 28:50
  Thank you for having me, Brandon.
• 28:52
  That was a blast.