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Finding Hope and Healing: Navigating Complex PTSD with Julie Nguyen · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: My name is Julie Nguyen and this is the space where we explore the messy and the magical parts of being human.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Today, we're diving into something that's incredibly important and something that I am personally moving through now, which is why I want to share, because it's always information that I wish I knew, and the more I dive into this topic, the more empowered I feel, actually, in the awareness of understanding who I am, what I am working with and through, and it feels like such a beautiful, transformative place to be actually.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: But again, it is something that I had no idea was a thing and was out there and, more importantly, is what I had, and this is complex PTSD.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: When I first heard about this, I was running on the treadmill at the gym and a friend sent me over a audio book and it was complex PTSD.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So I was like, huh, I'm always down to learn new things and I'm listening to these checkpoints that the book is offering and I checked every single one on the box for having complex PTSD and then a flood of tears rolled over me and I had to leave the gym and it was a really rattling experience because it was the first time in my life where I was like holy shit, this is what I have had this entire time and this is what I've been trying to move through and felt like I wasn't crazy.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: But really it all makes sense.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: This topic is close to my heart because so many of us are walking through life carrying wounds.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: We just may not fully understand or we know that they're there, but we just yeah, they just need to be validated or heard or made to make sense.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Complex PTSD or CPTSD isn't just about trauma.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: It's about how our bodies, minds and spirit adapt to survive repeated or prolonged emotional pain.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I want to say that last part again.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It isn't just about the trauma.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: It's about how our bodies, minds and spirit adapt to survive repeated or prolonged emotional pain.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: If this resonates with you, know that you're not alone and there's no shame in your experience and I am right in the trenches with you.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: But let's just get a deeper insight as to what it is and how we can really hold each other through so we can be okay with being okay, so we feel safe, to be safe, so we can have a happy and thriving life.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So first, what exactly is complex PTSD, unlike traditional PTSD, which often stems from a single traumatic event.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Complex PTSD develops over time through repeated experiences of abuse, neglect or emotional invalidation.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: So complex PTSD develops over time through repeated experiences of abuse, neglect or emotional invalidation.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And this could look like growing up in an unstable household, enduring chronic mistreatment or surviving a toxic relationship.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And I check all of those boxes.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: What makes CPTSD so complex is that it affects the way we see ourselves.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: It affects how we relate to others and how we navigate our everyday world.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: And as I'm saying that, I'm placing my hand over my heart because I almost am still in disbelief of, like gosh, this is it, this is me.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: This is me.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: And the signs of complex PTSD are so nuanced and deeply layered, and I know that it takes a long time to move through old habits of thought, of protective thoughts, of how we have adapted to surviving through childhood, through enduring chronic mistreatment, to surviving narcissistic relationships, turbulence within the family, whatever it is.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: We have to remember that healing is not linear, that it is a spiral and as we move through this together, I want you to know that you are incredible, that there is nothing wrong with you and that you are not alone.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: And this bigger part of who you are has really created these intelligent ways to adapt in the world and create really protective lenses for you.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: But let's move through.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: What are some common signs of complex PTSD through?
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: What are some common signs of complex PTSD?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Number one is emotional flashbacks.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: These are a hallmark of CPTSD.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Unlike traditional flashbacks, where you vividly relive a specific memory, emotional flashbacks are more subtle.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: They can feel like sudden waves of fear, shame or sadness, triggered by something seemingly minor.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: For example, someone's tone of voice might leave you feeling small or panicked, as though you're reliving an old wound Again.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Here it's the subtleness of it, and that it's coupled with fear.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: And that it's coupled with fear.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Shame shame is a big one and sadness.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Number two is chronic guilt or shame.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: You may carry a deep sense of guilt or shame, even when you've done nothing wrong.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: This can feel like a constant background noise a buzz is what I like to call it an inner critic constantly telling you that you're not good enough or that you are a burden.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: And these feelings often come from the way we were treated in our formative years, where love and acceptance might have felt conditional.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Another part of this is feeling like you're constantly on the outside of the world, like you're never a part of the world but you're constantly on the outside of the world, like you're never a part of the world but you're constantly on the outside of it.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: That good things can't happen to you or for you.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: It's happening for everybody else, but not necessarily for you.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So you observe life from the outside.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Number three is hypervigilance.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: So do you feel like you're always on edge, scanning for danger, even in safe spaces?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: This is hypervigilance, which is a survival response that keeps your nervous system in overdrive.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: It can make relaxation feel impossible.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: You might dissociate quite easily and you might find yourself easily startled or overthinking every little thing, every little situation.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: You are always tracking for safety and even when things in the present moment are safe, you still don't feel like it is safe to be safe.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Number four is difficulty.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Trusting or connecting CPTSD can make relationships challenging.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: You might struggle to trust others, even those who are safe and loving.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Alternatively, you might overextend yourself.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: People-pleasing this is a big one.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You might be a people-pleaser as a way to avoid conflict and or a way to be seen, to attract love, to validate your worth in places where you do not feel worthy.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And either way, the fear of being hurt or abandoned can keep you from forming deep connections.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: It's like you pull people in, you push them back out.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: You pull people in, you push them back out.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: You pull people in, you push them back out.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You keep everybody at a really safe distance because you have a difficulty trusting and deeply connecting into safe and loving relationships.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Number five is dysregulated emotions, and many survivors of CPTSD describe feeling like their emotions are too much or out of control.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: You might find yourself crying unexpectedly, snapping in frustration or feeling completely numb, and this emotional rollercoaster is often a response to unresolved pain which is stored in the body, and we're going to talk about cellular memory and how trauma is stored in the body in probably the next episode why not?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: And again, this is all because we are always tracking for safety and so the nervous system itself cannot settle, and in that we are always ready on guard to protect, to protect, to protect.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Number six is self-isolation or overcompensating.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Some people with CPTSD withdraw from the world, finding safety in isolation.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Others might overcompensate, taking on too much responsibility or trying to prove their worth.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Both are survival mechanisms which are ways of trying to protect yourself in an unsafe world, and that is because you view it as being unsafe.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Again, what I said earlier is you have this feeling is life is safe right now, but it is not safe to be safe.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And where we want to eventually get to is it is safe to be safe.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: It is safe to be loved.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It is safe to thrive.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: It is safe to be safe.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: It is safe to be loved.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: It is safe to thrive.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: It is safe to be in healthy, loving relationships.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: It is safe to be safe.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: And it is also an intelligent protection mechanism that you have created for yourself to keep yourself protected so that old traumas don't happen again.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: So moving on, number seven is physical symptoms.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Trauma doesn't just live in the mind, it is stored in the body.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Chronic pain, muscle tension, digestive issues or even unexplained illnesses could be your body holding onto the stress and pain of the past.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: These symptoms are real, they deserve attention and I highly recommend exploring somatic work.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Somatic therapy works to help sequence old traumas through the body so they can reach a state of completion for you, and you will always find what it is that you need at the perfect moment.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I'm just planting little seeds for you as you venture into this healing journey.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I also want to note that these signs isn't about self-diagnosis, but it's really an invitation to reflect, and for me, I resonate so deeply with every single one, and that is what has been the catalyst for me to finally say yes to getting support.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I have done so much healing work and have taken so many therapeutic courses and I have given myself support when I needed it, but I haven't given myself consistent support, and the day that I ran out of the gym because I was like, oh my God, I think this is what I have, that was the moment when I was like I need support.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: So I'm hoping that if you resonate with this, it gives you a kind of opens up the space to see if you're not already getting therapeutic support for this, that maybe now is the time to start just getting curious about this.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Maybe now is the time to start just getting curious about this Again, as I am moving through it myself.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: It feels empowering, truly, and it offers an allowance for me to actually start feeling safe within my body because I know what's going on and I know the root cause of it.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: That feels really cool, and it's also good to remind yourself that, if any of these resonate with you too, that it's not a sign of weakness.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's a sign of survival and it's a testament of how deeply your mind and body adapted to protect you in the face of hardship.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: So what can you do if you identify with these signs?
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Healing from complex PTSD takes time, patience and the right tools.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Therapy, especially modalities like somatic experiencing or EMDR I will explain those later can help you process trauma stored in your body and mind.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Mindfulness practices like meditation or breath work can bring you back to the present moment, when emotional flashbacks arise, and remember.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Self-compassion is key.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I want you to remember that you are not broken.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: There is nothing wrong with you.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: You are not crazy and this is just a very normal response to having layered traumatic experiences in your life.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: One of the most healing things that you can do is remind yourself daily that you're worthy of love and safety, just as you are.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Get the support that you need, even if that's friends, family therapy, and I want you to remember that you've already survived the hardest part, and so now it's about learning to thrive, and this is where I am, so I totally get it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I have to remind myself and allow my body to experience what a deeper layer of safety feels like, and to remind myself that I am indeed actually resilient, that I don't always have to be tracking for danger, because life is always going to ebb and flow, and the times where I do have to handle some stuff, that I am resilient.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Look at all these things that I have gone through, look at all the things that you have gone through and survived.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And now it's about reconnecting, reorientating to health, to our ability to thrive and to be happy and to not be on the outside of the world anymore, to actually be in the center of your own life and know that again it is safe to do so.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for tuning into this deeply important episode of Spiritual Shit Show.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: If this episode spoke to you, please share it with someone you care about.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned for more podcasts around this subject and others.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I want you to remember that you are not alone on your spiritual healing journey, to remember that this is a part of life.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: It is the Spiritual Shit Show and, as always, I'd love to hear from you your thoughts, your experiences, your healing journey.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: You are not broken, you are healing, and I cannot wait to celebrate these incredible healing milestones with you.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Keep listening to your soul and I'll see you next time and until then, stay curious and kind and compassionate to yourself and don't forget to incorporate a little fun and joy into your life.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: When we are healing, we have to dance, we have to laugh, we have to create, so allow yourself to do that.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: We want to make sure that we're staying in the sweet spot of healing, where it's not all healing, that it's healing and play, it is awareness and our ability to thrive, and also community, and this is why this podcast is here, so you know that you are not alone.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: This is something that I needed when I was in my healing journey, because I felt so isolated and crazy and too much, and now that I'm in the space of really being able to validate the experience and come to some sort of acceptance and healing and safety safety, such a big word, yeah, it feels fun again and I want that for you too.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: So we are in it together.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I am sending you so much love and until next time, stay in your light, stay in your joy.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Remember that you are so deeply loved.