Latest / The Birth Lounge Podcast / Ep. 482: 4 myths I keep hearing at Baby Showers

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Ep. 482: 4 myths I keep hearing at Baby Showers · The Birth Lounge Podcast

• It's unsafe to go over your due date But I'm just like, I, I literally just hung my mouth open.
• I have nothing to say to this.
• Like, are we serious? We're still fighting this myth that it's unsafe to go past your due date? Your due date is a guess.
• It is a we are doing an educated guess right now.
• Might be right, might be wrong.
• We don't know.
• We're not sure.
• Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Birth Lounge Podcast.
• Okay, Can I share something super exciting with you? Ah, I've got something new launching.
• Well, it's actually not really like a full launch.
• It is, um, more of, like, a facelift or an upgrade.
• So I used to teach this class, and it was my best tips to avoiding failure to progress and a C-section and all my tips to, to tearing.
• And I wanted to bring back a new and improved class.
• That stuff is...
• I've taught it for so long, and so I asked my audience over on Instagram, if you're not following me over there, what are you doing? I share all my favorite tips and, uh, things to help you have a better birth and also my life with Saggy Boy and Mr.
• HeHe and Maximus, our dog, and just, um, letting you into my world.
• But anyway, that's @tranquilitybyhehe over on Instagram.
• But I asked my audience over there, which I love so deeply, um, "What do you guys want me to teach about? Like, if you got to pick my brain, what would you want to hear about?" And they said how to avoid a C-section.
• Like, I really don't want a C-section, but I don't know how to not have one unless it's absolutely medically necessary, which of course, so grateful for C-sections, but we don't want them to happen every one in three women that walk in the hospital, and that's what we have currently.
• And so over the last 10 years, I've really gathered a bunch of tips and tricks that will actually truly reduce your risk for a C-section up to 50%, and, um, I wanna share those with you.
• You can find my free class at thebirthlounge.com/csection
• and I'm literally just going to brain dump all of my best tips of how to avoid an unnecessarean.
• You get it? It's like an unnecessary cesarean, unnecessarean.
• I love it.
• Unnecessarean.
• So, um, I'm gonna teach you how to not have one, and that way, when you get into the hospital, you don't have to be worried about the interventions that are coming your way.
• You already know how to navigate those conversations.
• It's totally free to join, so if you wanna hang out with me that is thebirthlounge.com/csection.
• See you there.
• Bye.
• I have, like, a ton of friends pregnant right now.
• Like, I'm going to so many baby showers recently.
• It is insane, and I have sat in so many baby showers recently where there are just things said that make my head spin.
• And so, I gathered them all into a list, because I needed to talk about it with somebody, and you are that lucky somebody.
• I'm gonna talk about it with you, because I can't get it out of my mind.
• You guys, when you're sitting at a baby shower, please, please do not use this as a place to get advice.
• You can use it as a place to create questions, and I'll tell you what I mean.
• But do not necessarily grab onto every piece of advice that is shared with you at a baby shower, because holy mackerel, some of them are so old and so outdated, and they are well-meaning, but they are just honestly, no.
• Like, just honestly, they just don't work.
• Okay, here is one that has come up in, I'm not even kidding, every single baby shower I have been to recently, and that is four, five.
• Five baby showers recently.
• Okay, you can't eat sushi in pregnancy.
• That's what they say.
• "Oh, well, you can't eat sushi."
• Somebody has said it.
• Somebody has said some iteration of, "Well, you know, when I was pregnant, I didn't eat sushi 'cause you're not supposed to," or you know, "I...
• Well, I wasn't eating sushi then, 'cause I was pregnant."
• And it's like, no.
• What do you think people in Japan eat when they're pregnant? Sushi.
• What we're worried about, and this is where it kind of gets confusing, is because it's not that raw fish is dangerous to eat while you're pregnant.
• It's that we're concerned about food poisoning, which can lead to dehydration or, um, you know, you getting a parasite that makes you really sick and you're pregnant.
• Food poisoning can sometimes cause some bad effects for your baby.
• And so if you're like, "I absolutely cannot live without sushi", and I was one of those people, I ate sushi throughout my pregnancy, uh, just make sure that you're getting it from a reputable place.
• You want high quality sushi that is following safe practices when it comes to handling and storing the sushi and where they source it from, right? You wanna make sure that you are also practicing that same thing.
• So don't leave your sushi out and then eat it.
• You know, make sure that you have kept it refrigerated, you're buying it from reputable sources And that may feel good to you.
• I'm not gonna tell you to do it.
• I was gonna say, "And then that's what you do," but you may not.
• It's just an option.
• And that's the thing is at these showers people will be like, "Oh, well, I know we can't eat sushi."
• And it's like it's not that you can't eat sushi, it's just that there are rules to it.
• The other thing that you wanna think about is what kind of fish are you eating, right? And this is something I did in my pregnancy, is I actually...
• So I be loving some tuna.
• I mean, tuna is, mm, I love tuna so much.
• But it can be high in mercury.
• And so what I did was I drastically reduced my tuna intake and I increased my salmon intake, which has good fish oils in it Right? I also started eating mackerel, which I didn't before pregnancy, but because I didn't wanna just eat salmon for nine months I started to eat mackerel, and holy mackerel, it's good.
• I love it.
• Yellowtail, oh my God, gimme.
• I love it so much.
• So anyway, it was good because it expanded my palate of what I will eat.
• We got to eat a lot of really good sushi.
• And I was very mindful of, you know, like I say, preparation, handling, both on the restaurant side and what we did at home, and then also what type of fish I ate.
• Okay.
• Number two is that sleep just has to suck.
• And I do...
• I mean, I am gonna admit that sleep is harder when you're pregnant, for sure.
• Yeah, absolutely.
• It definitely is.
• Um, it really, it really is.
• There's some sleep disruptions that happen in pregnancy, and it just can't be explained by anything else other than, like, well, I'm pregnant.
• But to think that sleep just has to suck altogether is just not true.
• So there are a couple of things that I recommend for getting good sleep, and I have a guide that's in the Birth Lounge.
• It's in a, it's a Birth Lounge exclusive.
• I don't think you can get it anywhere except, um, except in the Birth Lounge.
• So I would say, like, "I'll link it below," but I can't because it's only for our Birth Lounge people.
• Uh, but there's a guide in there, and it tells you how to, like, get in a comfortable position with your big belly.
• And so my first tip is, like, make sure that you're getting comfortable with pillows and blankets.
• This may be the time to invest in pillows.
• Even if you just go buy a couple of $5 or $10 pillows, and you don't plan on using them long term, so you don't wanna invest in, like, really expensive pillows, get yourself comfortable.
• Prop yourself up with couch cushions or yoga mats or, um, I've seen people use foam rollers or, plush blankets to get themselves comfortable, uh, to go to sleep.
• So, you know, do that.
• The second thing is make sure that you're eating before bed because your blood sugar can bottom out, and that will wake you up, right? That was my problem in the first trimester.
• I just kept waking up overnight, not multiple times, but, like, at the same time.
• And my midwife finally was like, "Is it your blood sugar?" And I was like, "Oh my God.
• Yeah, actually.
• That's one that's actually so weird."
• Um, so I started eating before bed and fixed it.
• Another thing you can consider is magnesium.
• Are you getting enough magnesium? I love Calm powder, and I take it every night.
• This is not...
• inside and out of pregnancy, and this is not an ad at any, by any means.
• I don't even think Calm powder knows that...
• It's actually Vitality.
• I don't know that they even know I exist, but I do.
• I have bought enough Calm powder between myself over the years and gifting it to friends and family and clients.
• Uh, I probably pay the light bill over there, but, um, Calm powder is so good.
• You mix it with water.
• I sometimes put it with juice and drink it before bed.
• And, uh, it'll help you sleep 'cause, you know, magnesium is good at promoting good deep sleep.
• It helps your mind relax and your body relax, and, and then you're able to kind of get some sounder sleep.
• So sleep doesn't have to suck in pregnancy.
• I think that a lot of times people have lower back pain and hip pain, and that can be worked through with different things, whether it be a pregnancy pillow or going to the chiropractor or stretching before bed or positioning yourself intentionally.
• Sleep doesn't have to suck in pregnancy.
• Okay, the third thing and I didn't hear this at every single one, but I heard it a lot, enough that it made the list.
• It's unsafe to go over your due date But I'm just like, I, I literally just hung my mouth open.
• I have nothing to say to this.
• Like, are we serious? We're still fighting this myth that it's unsafe to go past your due date? Your due date is a guess.
• It is a we are doing an educated guess right now.
• Might be right, might be wrong.
• We don't know.
• We're not sure.
• That's the thing, we're not sure.
• It's an estimate.
• Your baby might be born on that day, and they also might be born two weeks before that or two weeks after that, and the average is nine days after that.
• The average is going past 41 weeks if you are a, a first-time mom.
• Okay? 41 weeks and two days, that's the average.
• That's the average right there, nine days past your due date.
• If you haven't made it to 41 and two, then you haven't even reached the average.
• That's like the realest of real talks, and to hear all these women say, and some of it was old people, some of it was people who just had a baby, like literally her baby was, like, four months old.
• Oh, my God.
• No, she had C-section, Pitocin, a long labor.
• It was just, it's so frustrating to hear these stories over and over and over again and be like, "Oh, my God," and we could have potentially avoided everything that you encountered By just simply letting you know that you did not have to be induced just because you hit your due date.
• And matter of fact, you induced nine days early based on the average.
• Like, what? That's crazy.
• I have, like, a firecracker in my brain.
• I'm, I'm mind-blown right now.
• That's crazy.
• You know, we want to be honoring spontaneous labor if we can, and in most cases it is not only possible, but it is safe and a reasonable and super valid choice, okay? All right, now this next one is crazy cuckoo bananas, and I only heard it once, but it was so insane that it made the list.
• And that is this woman's doctor...
• Granted, granted, granted, her son was 46 years old, so this was a bit ago.
• It did make me blown...
• I, I mean, I freaking just...
• My mind was blown.
• I was like, internally I was messed up, okay? I was like, "What is happening?" This woman's doctor told her that she could not breastfeed her baby because she had a C-section because he was insinuating that the medications that she had during a surgery made her not be able to breastfeed her child And that was the advice she was passing on.
• That was the advice she was passing on.
• Can you imagine My, I, I, I, Flabbergasted.
• I'm just sitting there.
• I cannot s- I can't speak.
• The woman was too stunned to even speak.
• I couldn't even really think.
• I'm just sitting there thinking like, Girl, don't you let this show on your face.
• HeHe, fix your face, girl.
• Put your eyebrows down.
• Loosen your mouth.
• All right.
• Smile a little nod.
• Okay.
• Okay."
• When this lady said, I just hope you don't have a C-section because I know you wanna breastfeed I did not know where we were going, but my friend said, "What does that have to do with anything? Like, what does breastfeeding have to do with having a C-section?" And this old lady said, "Oh, well, you can't breastfeed after you have a C-section because of the drugs they give you."
• That's what she said.
• Not the medication, not even narcotics, the drugs.
• Okay.
• All righty.
• You guys, my friend and I lock eyes, and I'm literally like, "Do not laugh," and also like, "What is happening?" It's crazy.
• It's crazy.
• It is crazy.
• And like I say, you know, these things are said with such good intention.
• Like, people really say these things because they care.
• I mean, it's not like this was said out of malice.
• But this lady, my goodness, she just was like, "Well, you can't breastfeed if you have a C-section."
• Uh, you know, some of these things, that one is probably...
• Most people probably know that one's not true.
• It's probably fading out, but some of them are really alive and well, like the due date thing, right? I mean, like I say, that, that girl that had just had a baby, she said it so confidently.
• She- guys, she was induced on her due date On the day that her baby was estimated to be here, her doctor told her, "Well, if you're not in labor by now, it's unlikely that your body will go into labor on its own.
• We don't want anything to happen."
• You know? I just, I wish that the people had been able to ask better questions Because I think that if they were able to ask better questions, they probably would've made different decisions especially because of all the regret.
• And I think that's actually what prompted me to make this list, is that these stories were told with so much, like, regret.
• Like, people's voices get low, and they start to talk a little faster because they have, you know, trauma.
• They're, like, feeling anxious remembering these things, and their shoulders drop, and they just...
• You can just see that they feel sad.
• And if they're holding their baby, they usually, like, kiss on their baby and, and hug their baby, almost as if, like, "It's all worth it that I experienced these things because I got my baby."
• I mean, and I do think their baby is...
• All babies are obviously, like, really loved and perfect and worth it, but what if you could have your perfect, lovely, worth-it baby and also not be traumatized? Also, like, love your birth, right? Baby showers, baby showers, baby showers everywhere.
• You guys, I've been going to so many baby showers and I wanna tell you about one of my go-to gifts, and it is the Primally Pure baby bundle.
• Now, I never used to give this out.
• I used to give, like, gift baskets.
• I never used to give this out until I had my baby.
• And we use all of the products that are in this Primally Pure gift basket.
• And because I love how well they work with my baby and how just natural and organic and simple, mainly that they work so well though, I just want all of my friends to have them too.
• I do really get worried about all of the chemicals and stuff that are being put onto babies I wanna quickly tell you about the things that you're gonna get in this baby set, because these are all things that I use with Saggy.
• Number one, the baby balm is our diaper changing cream.
• We love the bath bar, which is just bath soap, and surprisingly, it is incredibly hard to find chemical-free baby soap.
• The baby oil is what I use instead of lotion, so I put this on him, mm, not every day, but definitely every single time we bathe.
• And then we have the baby powder.
• We don't use it very often, but I have it on hand if I were to ever need baby powder, 'cause that's another product that is just riddled with a ton of toxic chemicals.
• The baby balm and the baby soap are by far our most used products, and ugh, I just love them so much.
• So if you're headed to a baby shower or if you have a friend or family in your life that you want to introduce to non-toxic baby products that are really gonna be so safe for their newborn and they smell great and they work great, try the Primally Pure Baby Bundle.
• You can use the code HeHe, H-E-H-E, at checkout to save 10% off of your order.
• Go to primallypure.com,
• find the baby bundle, and use code HeHe at checkout to save 10% on your order so that kind of wraps it up.
• There were obviously other things that I heard that I'm just like, "Oh, my gosh, these...
• It's just, like, not even true," you know? And then I just think about, like, I'm so glad that I have The Birth Lounge because it really is teaching women how do you identify misinformation like this or outdated advice like that, and what do you do with it? What kind of questions should be asked in your provider, and what kind of questions should you be asking yourself? What kind of things should you be considering for your birth plan? Where are the lines in the sand for you personally on certain decisions? These are the questions that are gonna help you have a more informed birth, something that you feel good about, joyful and confident, respected, seen, heard.
• I want you to walk away from your birth feeling so incredibly proud of yourself, and that really does come down to rewriting the old patterns that we have all held as people pleasers and eldest daughters and women who are anxious about making the right decision or making the wrong decision, right? I see you.
• I know you're like, "Oh, my God, is she spying on me?" Yeah, I am you.
• Dude, we're the same.
• We are the same.
• That's how I know how to guide you through making the birth plan that's comprehensive, and it's not just your birth plan.
• It's not just, what do I want to happen in my birth? There are so many other facets of labor that you need to think about so that you can be totally prepared because if you just prepare for one type of birth or one outcome then you're leaving yourself open and vulnerable and unprepared for situations that are undoubtedly going to happen in your labor, not because you did anything wrong or because you didn't prepare the right way, but because that's just how labor unfolds.
• I think about childbirth education as kind of an insurance policy.
• I think about it like this: when you sign up for insurance, you are hoping that your house never has any complications and you never need to call your insurance.
• But if you do, you have covered and you are prepared for flood, fire, hurricane, tornado, burglary, pipes bursting.
• Your childbirth education should be just like that.
• It should be you're prepared for shoulder dystocia.
• You're prepared to advocate for staying home in early labor.
• You're prepared to advocate for an unmedicated delivery.
• You're prepared to advocate for a chosen C-section.
• You're prepared to decline a 39-week induction that's elective.
• You're prepared to know what positions you want to push in.
• You're prepared for a long labor and a precipitous labor.
• You're prepared for the intensity of contractions.
• You're prepared for if your water breaks before or your water breaks after.
• That is really the key to a good childbirth education, and that is what I teach you in the Birth Lounge.
• So I want to invite you to join The Birth Lounge and join me there if you want to be able to identify misinformation like the things that you find in everyday real life.
• I think these baby showers were just such a good, like, realization for me of like, yeah, I don't even know.
• Like, you're going to encounter advice in the wild that is sometimes so off the wall, it will make you second guess yourself.
• You're like, "Well, is that true? Are you not supposed to breastfeed after a C-section because of the medications that you get?" And instead of taking it as advice, I want you to be able to flag that and be like, "That doesn't sound quite right.
• What do I really need to ask? A, is this true? B, what are the medications I'm getting in a C-section?" C, can I breastfeed with those? D, am I comfortable breastfeeding with those? E, how much of those get into my breast milk? What are the possible side effects, risk for my baby? I want you to know all of these questions because these are the way that you are going to get the information that help you have the most confident birth, not a birth that you controlled, not a birth that you planned out, not a birth that you handpicked every single thing that was dealt your way, but a birth that no matter what happens, you're able to navigate it and handle it confidently.
• It doesn't send you spiraling.
• It doesn't fill you with fear.
• You don't have to make a decision that you were not prepared to make.
• You've already thought about these things.
• You know what your options are.
• You know how to have a discussion about it, and you get to confidently say, "I've thought about all my options.
• I appreciate the conversation, and I am choosing to do X, Y, and Z."
• All right, you guys can visit thebirthlounge.com/join
• to learn more about the Birth Lounge.
• If you want a little taste of the Birth Lounge, I have a free class where I actually am teaching all of my top tips to avoid an unnecessary, an unnecessary C-section.
• Did you know that so many C-sections are actually iatrogenic, which means that something we did earlier in the labor actually set off this effect that caused the C-section? Iatrogenic C-sections, totally avoidable in so many cases, and I want you to avoid it if you can.
• I mean, C-sections are life-saving when we need them, and thank God we have them when we need them.
• Things like medical emergencies or even, like, maternal choice, thank God we have C-sections for both of those scenarios.
• But the iatrogenic ones that can be avoided, I wanna avoid that for you because for most people, I know you don't want a C-section.
• I know you want a vaginal delivery.
• I know you want an easy, smooth delivery, and I have a lot of tips on how to help you have that or at least weigh the, the cards in your favor I will link that in the show notes for you so that you can find that.
• All right, you guys.
• Thanks for hanging out with me today I will see you in the next episode.
• Be sure to follow me on social media.
• I'm @tranquilitybyhehe and @the.birth.lounge.
• Until next time, head to your app store and download the Birth Lounge app for evidence-based childbirth education and data-driven postpartum support delivered straight to your phone.
• Bye Thank you so much for tuning in today.
• I love hanging out with you, and it is an honor to be your go-to gal when it comes to preparing for your baby.
• If you've enjoyed today's episode, please leave a five-star review and tell others why they should be listening to the Birth Lounge Podcast too.
• You deserve to have a birth that you love with a provider that values your autonomy and respects informed consent without all the trauma that you so commonly hear about on social media.
• New episodes air every Wednesday and Friday.
• Hit that follow button so you never miss an episode.
• I'm HeHe, and this is the Birth Lounge Podcast.