Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 28 - Is Being Alone, Chosen Or Rejected Really Bad Things?

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Episode 28 - Is Being Alone, Chosen Or Rejected Really Bad Things? · You Minding Your Own Business

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. How y'all doing today, ma'am I'm
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: doing good. Welcome to you Money your Own Business radio podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Scott as ash Maria. I'm'a thank you
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: guys for joining me for this episode. If you guys
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: like the commentary and want to hear more, please go
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: to sprinkle dot com forward Slash Money your Own Business.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: You can also hear my podcast on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Google.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: You can also hear it on Amazon, iTunes, Drizzy Podcasters,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: and there's a couple of other places where my podcast
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: is a little bit about me. I'm a certified recovery,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: life coach and healing coach, all about helping people on
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: their paths and journey to a new and better you.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I'm also a.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Mental health and well being coach that's all about helping
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: people on their paths, their journeys, and their purpose to
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: a new and better you as well. This podcast is
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: about instead of you focusing on everybody else, try to
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: be like everybody else, think like everybody's, act like everybody else,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Just being you and finding out what your identity is,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: turning your flaws that everybody try to use against you
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: into strengths understanding that it's okay to be alone, it's
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: okay not to be chosen, it's okay not to be
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: a part of certain things.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: It's okay just to say no. It's not the end
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: of the world.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: If you say no, you don't have to be involved
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: in any of those things. If you choose not to be,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you don't have to be.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: So today's podcast is all about how do you accept.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: The fact that you're not going to be chosen by
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: the people and things that you won't and how do
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: you turn that into something that is a strength. I've
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: seen many stories where there were many people in the
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: beginning that were never chosen for multiple different reasons, and
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: now they're making it years later. Why because they realized
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: that it wasn't about being like someone else, it was
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: like about being themselves. So i'm'a use Fani Fantasia, for example.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: We all know she won the second American Idol. Remember
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: that she beat Kelly Cruck Clarkson and Fantasia had a
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: great run.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: And when I and she still got a great run.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, but we all know what happened
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: to bring her situation down.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: There's a man that she dated that was.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Married and he ended up doing a dirty She did
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: end up having a sum with him, and she went
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: through a really bad breakdown, almost unlived herself. And we
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: all know about her story cause we saw it on Lifetime,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: so we all know about the story.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Now I understand.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: That she went through that and she she r she
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: rolls above it.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: She she rolls above it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: She even went bankrupt and now look at her now,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: she's happily married, got a little girl, and her and
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: her husband are doing very well for themselves, and she's
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: even doing a gospel album. I really wish her and
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: her husband would have kept doing what they were doing,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: cause I liked what they were doing on on Instagram.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I wish they'd turn down on BT into the actual
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: show cause I think people do really wa really like that.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And I love Fantasia and I love the fact that
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: she came through the trenches despite everything she went through
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: and she made it despite it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: All.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: You have Kelly Clarkson who went through a really bad
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: divorce and that was a lot, but guess what she
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: made it to now she g she made it through
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: and now she's got her own talk show.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: So everybody goes.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Through something where you're gonna have to bounce back from it.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: But it's when you continuously gotta bounce back that's when
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: it becomes a problem. Because the one thing that Kelly
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Clarkson and Fantasia is that you can't keep bouncing back.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: It's either you gonna stay there or you're gonna continue
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: to fall.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Now, you would think the first time you went through something,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: you would learn from it and not keep going through
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: it over and over and over again. Now the problem
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: is is when it comes to romantic relationships and you
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: keep going through the same.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Thing over and over and over again.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: When it comes to your family, your friends, you keep
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: going through it over and over and over again. And
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: that's because the way you love them is why you
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: do it. You feel like that eventually they're gonna change,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: that eventually they're gonna do better, and that when they
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: make it, they're gonna take you with them.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm. That ain't what they're gonna do.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: So what I want people to understand is I absolutely
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: get it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I do. But what I.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Want people to understand is you shouldn't have to go
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: through in the first place. You should know the minute
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: this person cheated on you to let them go when
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: you find out there's no point of trying to stay
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: with somebody that cheated on you just because you wanna
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: hold on to your stuff.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Well, the only reason you wanna hold on to that.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Lifestyle is because you don't have a second option, or
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: you didn't keep your stuff, or you didn't you let
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: this person make you quit your job and give up
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: everything to be with them, and now you're paying for it.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I just watched some African skits and these are life
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: stories that they tell, and it was one where the women.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: A couple of women were cheated on by their husbands
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: and they ended up making a comeback. They didn't make
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: a comeback by being loud. They made a comeback by
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: moving in silence. They let their husbands think they had
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: the upper hand, and while they thought they had the
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: upper hand, they were basically themselves up from the ashes.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: One created her own store, her own bakery, while he
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: failed because his mistress was running around showing off everything.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: And showed his brand.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And when she showed his brand, he wasn't even divorced yet,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: and so they were tearing him up and then he
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: ended up losing everything because of it. The second situation
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: that happened was she ended up having fifty one percent
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: of the company. So she went in there and took
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: her power back and told them she had owned fifty
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: one percent of the company. The third situation was she
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: created her own business because her husband kicked her out,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: made the mistress take her position.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: She ended up buying back the company.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: She built another company just to take back the company
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: that she lost from her husband. So, like I said,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's not always good to be loud all the time.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's good to be silent, not letting nobody know
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you got nothing, not letting nobody know what you have
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: so nobody can't take it from you. It's just like
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of people when it comes to now we
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: gotta pay student loans and things like that, and people
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: are panicking. I'm not panicking cause I ain't got the
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: money to pay it. So you have people that are
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: so out of touch for what's going on that they
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: have no idea what the world we all are dealing with,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: and they honestly don't care at this point either. But
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: what I will say is there are things that I
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: am learning, and today I'm gonna make this about me
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: because earlier today I ate some ice cream.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know what was in it.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I made sure it was non allegenic, but as soon
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: as it hit my throat, I started feeling horrible. And
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I came to the realization that it's time for me
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: to make my own ice cream, my own cookies, my
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: own all that stuff. I am making my own stuff
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: because I'm tired of going through every time I eat
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: something at Walmart, I end up feeling horrible and I
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: don't know why. And I don't think it's because I
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: think it's my thyroid acting up.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I need to get it checked.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: But I bought some stuff because I'm about to start
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: making breads cause this weekend I'm buying everything. Cause I
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: already got the sh the salt for the I for
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: the ice cream.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Now I just got to buy.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Some what I gotta buy. I gotta buy a few
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: things and then i'm'a start making ice cream.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I gotta have them to fix my refrigerator.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: But like I said, we all have our our things
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: that we have to deal with, and that's okay.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: That's okay that we do.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: So you know, you have to understand that the reason
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: you're alone because there is something that you need to do.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: So if you're someone that's focused on whatever you're doing,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: you can't worry about the outside forces. You can't worry
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: about having fun right now because you gotta focus. Then
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: when you get where you need to be, then you
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: have all the fun you want to and you can
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: still have fun, but you just don't need to be
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: out there with everybody else going to prep parties and
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: things like that.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: You don't need to do that.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: So I just need people to understand that being alone
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: is not everything, is not as bad as you think
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: it is. So being alone has its advantages.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It actually keeps you focused.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: But the one thing I'm learning now that I am
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: trying my best to break myself off of is social media.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Cause, like I.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Said, you do feel lonely and you do wanna have
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that type of connection with people while you're alone. But
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: the problem is is we get on TikTok and Westroll. Nope,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I'm cutting back on that, you know. I just need
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: people to understand that it's okay and that being chosen
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: is not actually a bad thing. So I'm writing as
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: we speak, So what I want people to understand is
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: it does have benefits far as being alone and not
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: being chosen. So it does have a lot of benefits.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: There are benefits of being alone. So when it comes
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: to getting things done, when it comes to doing the
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: things that you want to do, you're able to do that.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: But you can't do that if you know.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Your focusing on someone else, because when you're focusing on
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: someone else, you're not getting done what.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: You need to do.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: When it comes to following your dreams, when it comes
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: to doing the things that you want to do, you
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: can't do that when it comes to other people. So
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you need to be able to understand that being alone
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: means you're trying to do something, you're trying to achieve something,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: and you don't want the distractions. So if you don't
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: want to be the distractions, then you need to be alone.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: If you're someone that wants to be single and you're
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: focused on your career, then you should be worried about dating.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: That shouldn't even be even on your radar.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: When it comes to achieving things and trying to build something, yeah,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: that's gonna be important too. So when it comes to
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: you being alone, that's just something that you're gonna have
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: to be able to do and also when it comes
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: to focusing on yourself, focusing on the things that you
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: have to do as far as you know, healing and recovery,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: stuff like that, working on yourself, building on your building yourself,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: that type of thing.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: So those things are very important.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: So it's very important that you understand that it is
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: okay to be to be alone for a while. Sometimes
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: it also may be a good thing because it gives
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: you a chance to basically be one with God. So
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: these things are are are very important, and it's okay
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: to say.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: You know what, there's there's not there's actually a it.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: It has its benefit.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Nothing that's a benefit is you ain't gotta worry about
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: nobody that's gonna be sucking the life out of you
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: and taking advantage of you and doing all these negative
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: things to yourself. That you're able to get things done
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: that you need to do. It also sh makes you
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: realize that the importance of hitting rock bottom, because if
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: you're by yourself, you gotta do everything yourself. Then you
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: basically learn how to do everything on your own, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: everybody becomes additions to you. How you're not gonna wanna
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: hit rock bottom and you have morena lose because you're
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: by yourself than you do with somebody else. And let
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: me explain that if you with somebody else, and let's
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: say y'all fall, that person, if they got somebody that is,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: you know, gonna be there to catch them when they fall,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: the only person that's gonna fall as you. It's just
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: like a bunch of people to commit a crime, and
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: then they all get caught and they're all sitting there
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: and somebody ends up telling Now everybody going to jail,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: even though that person may get less time, that person
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: may not go to jail, but everybody else going. So
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, like I said, you
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: can do something all together and it's still somebody gonna
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: be somebody gonna be the blame, or somebody gonna end
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: up being the one that's gonna take the fall.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: So if one person screw up and it's a group.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Of people, everybody going down, whereas if one person does something,
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: only one person going down with it. So that's what
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I want people to understand that when you are by yourself,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: you gonna realize you got more to.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Lose than somebody else who.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Basically has multiple people, because everybody got everybody gonna take
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: a fault, and it ain't just gonna be that one person.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Everybody gonna take the fall. And that's why it's easier
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: to commit a crime or c you know, to something,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: because you know, if you go down, somebody else go
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: down with you, which is why people try to convince
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: negative people to do something for because it either justifies
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: their behavior or if everything goes wrong and everybody go down,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: that person ain't going down by themselves.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: They tooking other people with 'em.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: That's why when they come to negativity and somebody try
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: to convince me to do something that is wrong, I'm
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: like no.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: So let me give you an example.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Let's say somebody wants you like say, for example, you
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: cool with somebody, right, but this person never comes spend
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: time with you, They never take you out, they never
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: do nothing with you. And then all of a sudden,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: they come over and they wanna have sex with you.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: They come over while you at work, They come over
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: when you know you don't have time to chill. They
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: do this intentionally so they don't have to stay. And
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: yet and still you're like, well, why can't I come
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: to your house? Why can't I come over? But yet
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: and still they don't take you nowhere. They don't do nothing,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: but they want you to have sex with them. That
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: would be an automatic look at them, ac No. If
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: a man is messing around with other women, the answer
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: should be no.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: If a woman.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Doesn't have a job and can't take care of herself,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: the answer still will be no. Cause my whole thing
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: is I'm not taking care of a grown person because,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: like I said, once you start with I'm gonna take
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: care of you. That's what they gonna be expecting. And
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: if you lose your job, they're not gonna step in.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: They gonna, like you told me, I don't have to work.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: So that's why I say, you know, that's important. So
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: that's the whole point of of all of this. So
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I just want people to understand that when it comes
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: to these situations that we deal with, I need people
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: to understand that it's okay that you're not accepted or
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: these people don't like you, because I always ask people
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: that don't like me, did I walk up to you
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: and introduce myself to you?
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: No?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I did not walk myself up and say anything to
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: you that you know, I don't have to, you know,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: accept these situations. So when it comes to the book
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: that I'm you know I'm writing. I'll tell you some
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: of the things that I want people to take away
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: from this. I want people to take away a lot
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: of things, but the main things that I want people
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: to take a take from this book is that whether
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: you are flaws and imperfections, whether nobody love, likes, appreciate
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: value once you need you, or you're not a part
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: of something, they're not validating you. They don't approve of you,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: they don't accept they don't know your worth or your value,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: and they and you are and that you constantly are
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: proving something to these people. You don't have to if
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: you didn't walk up to none of these people to
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: try to be a part of something. Why you worrying
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: about what they say. If these people haven't been friends
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: with you and know nothing about your life, they can
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: say what they want to.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make it true. Now people stupid enough to
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: believe them.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Knowing these people don't know you, then.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: That's a whole nother thing.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: So I just want people to understand that it is
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: okay for you to say, you know what, if y'all
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: are really don't like me, then I just want people
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: to understand you don't have to so you don't have
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: to accept me. If you believe everything that these people
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: are saying, then go ahead and believe them. So when
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: it healing and recovering, once you have got to that place,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: it don't matter what nobody says. So I just want
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: people to understand that nobody can tell your story that
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: wasn't there to tell it unless they talk to you
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and they're writing it for you. So if you got
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: somebody that's writing a book on you, they're gonna tell
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: it based upon what you've told them or what you've
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: shown them and the evidence that verifies it. So if
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: somebody was not there during the story and they're just
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: coming out and saying, oh, you did this and you
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: did that and making accusations, my thing is in my
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: committing on crime. So because I slept with these amount
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: of dudes, you're gonna chastisk me for it. Because I'm
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: a single mother of a child with disability. You're gonna
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: chanst ask for me for it because thirty years ago
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I used to weigh two.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Hundred and fifty. You gonna owe that against me.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Because you show what I look like without makeup, you
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: gonna hold that against me. You gonna show what I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: looked like before I have plast surgery. You gonna talk
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: to my family to find out things about me, knowing
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I don't even speak with my family like that. Oh mkay,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people don't necessarily, you know, understand
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: that you always go through spiritual warfare always, and you're
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: always gonna feel like that.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Why do these people attack me? What have I done?
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Why do you bother me?
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Why do I always keep getting cheated on? Why am
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I in chronic pain? Why in these doctors can't find
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: out what's going on? Honey, It's gonna be a journey
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: that you gonna deal with, and you gonna be like, look,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I gotta start finding answers myself, so you can't wait
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: around for somebody to give you answers. That's why for me,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I said, you know what, i'm'a eat strictly eat meat
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: and vegetables and rice and potatoes and fruit.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: And I'll just make my own desserts, my own.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Breads because I can make them without all the rest
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: of that stuff. So it's okay that you decide to
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: make your own breads and make your own recipes.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: That's okay. Because that's what's gonna make you healthier.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: By making your own dishes, then by all means you
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: should be able to do that. So I just want
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: people to understand when it comes to spiritual warfare, that
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: is something that's one of the.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Hardest things to get through.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: That and medical issues because sometimes it can be you're
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: not getting enough to sleep. So I said tonight, I
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: will be in this bed by nine thirty and be
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: sleep by ten. I'm'a get my eight hours sleep cause
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I took some benadarin when I'm starting to get sleep,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: But that's because I ate something I felt like, felt
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: really bad, and I went ahead took ben a drill
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: just bum sing.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: So I but every time I take.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Ben a drill, the next day, I feel horrible, and
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna feel horrible all that long. But that's
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: if I go ahead and go to bed.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Now, I might.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Drink me some tea before I go to bed, cause
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: that's gonna help on my throat. But I'm not giving
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: up on my thyroid. I'm'a find something that's gonna help
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: with it, that's gonna make it better. I am gonna
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: go to the dentists and have them pull something. But
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, nowadays, when you go
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: to the dentists, they don't even do deep cleanings unless
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: they charge you almost fifteen hundred.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: To do it.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: When you can go overseas and get all your teeth
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: pulled and get veneers and pay less. Yeah, okay, So
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: that's what a lot of people doing and going outside
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: in the United States to get h to get answers.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Some people are coming back cancer free and don't have
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: cancer at all because they're finding natural treatments that's helping
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: with herpes.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: And HIV and full blown aids.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: So sometimes you may have to travel to find your answers.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: But again, research is very important.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Research everything, because if you don't research everything, you're not
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: gonna know how to make yourself better. That's why I'm
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: buying a book on TikTok cause it's gonna help me
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: in my journey as far as.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: You know, getting better.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: So what I will say to people is research is everything.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So it's not about what everybody else is doing. It's
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: about what it is that you're doing and how you
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: are the authority of what it is that you're saying.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: So I just want people to understand that when it
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: comes to being the best version of yourself. It's about
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: understanding that you're gonna go through those psychological, emotional and
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: all of those different things that's gonna make you feel
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: like am I even worthy of any of this?
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: You're gonna go.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Through all of these different things that you're gonna be
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: dealing with. So you know, Spiritual warfare is also another
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: thing that people gotta deal with. A lot of people
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: are d addicted to.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: The church. I hate to say it. A lot of
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: people go to church and they'll.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Claim that they're a certain thing, when in all actuality,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: their behavior doesn't even represent any that is what they claim.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: So this happens pretty much all the time. So what
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I will say is whatever you shoes do understand, don't
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: let the distractions of what everybody else is doing. Don't
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: let people in your life know what you're doing. Just
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: go ahead and do it. Don't say nothing, and they're
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: not gonna help you on a journey, don't ask them to.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: But then when they come asking you to do all
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: these things, the answer is no, because you weren't there
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: for me when I needed you. Now, don't get me wrong,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: it ain't You can try one time, just to see
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: what happened. But if they continue to ask and don't
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: pay you back your money, the answer.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Should be no mm mm. So that's something that is
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: very very important.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: So I just want people to understand that people can
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: be addict, can be addicted to the title of being
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: a Christian. So there are a lot of people that
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: are d are addicted to the title of being a
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Christian or being whatever happens all the time.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: So it's okay to not be able to be what
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: everybody else want you to.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Be, just being in do you and do what makes
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: you happy. So at the end of the day, it's
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: okay not to follow everybody else. It's okay that you
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: didn't get certain things because those things are not meant
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: for you, and those things might just be the thing.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: That's holding you back.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: When you you something on your own and you start
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: finding people just like you and building a community, that's
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: when you realize why it wasn't meant for you to
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: be in those groups, why it wasn't meant for you
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: to be in that relationship. When that person told you
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: no to leave them where they at, there's a reason
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: for that. It's okay to be okay with not being chosen.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: It is okay to not be. You can always find
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: your tribe elsewhere if you if you applied for a
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: job and you didn't get it, it's okay Cause, like
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I said, if you were living at home with your parents,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't be having these problems.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Cause if you.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Weren't tryna be out there trying to be fast in
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: the panents, you wouldn't have to worry about it because
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: you be living at home with your mom. Cause really
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you're not supposed to be moving out to your marriage anyway.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: But that's a whole another conversation. But do you need
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: the experience of moving out, Yes, But is it easier
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: to have a roommate yes? Is that always gonna have
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: for everybody? No, some people gonna be alone because society
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: standards and the fact that you're not chosen because of society.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: There's another reason why you may not be chosen because
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of preference. You may not be chosen because you're overly qualified.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of reasons why you ain't chosen. But
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, if you look at
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: the reviews, if you look at this person in their
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: past and talk to they axes, you'll thank God.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: That you want chosen. A lot of y'all looking.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Back now and be like, dang, why didn't I see
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: the signs of everything that was going on. Why didn't
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I see how this person was when I met them?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Cause you was infatuated with that person. You wanted that
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: person so bad. You didn't care about their personality, didn't
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: care about their decision making. All you cared about is
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: that they were attracting. They had money, That's all you
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: cared about. So at the end of the day, if
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: that's all you cared about, then you got what you
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: asked for, point blank.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Period.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: So with that being said, I didn't wanna take too
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: much of y'all's time. But in conclusion of this, they
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: gonna be times you gonna be chosen. They're gonna be
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: times you not. But I just got a phone call
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: today then, like the lady that I'm gonna have on
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: my podcast, Miss Janay, about her product Skins, And it's
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: a product that helps as far as cannabis and him
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: and it helps with skincare, it helps with you know,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: basically with your cravings and things of that nature.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: So I can't wait to try.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: She's gonna send me some, So we were doing an
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: interview in the next two weeks, and I'm excited about that.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I am gonna start promoting it today. I gotta send
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: her person an email and then we'll go from there. Boy,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: she and I had a great conversation. When I tell you,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: we're like Kendrick's spirits because we went through similar things. Yeah,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: and now she's a millionaire and I'm trying to get there. So,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: like I said, you know, it took me going around
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: in circles to realize that where i need to be
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: was podcasting. That's what I'm meant to be and that's
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: what I'm meant to do. But it took going down
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: down the crazy world to get there, even though I
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: should have known from day one. But sometimes you gotta
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: go through that marriag go around. But now I'm tired
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: of tracing the rabbit down the rabbit hole and going
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: down the wrong direction. So now I'm just gonea Basically,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: if if it feels natural to me, that's what I'm
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: going with.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: If it made me.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Uncomfortable, I'll still do it. But I know it's gonna
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: be worth it because being the fact I'm doing something
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: that's unfamiliar, it's gonna leave me to something great. So
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: that's just pretty much on it on that and that's okay.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: And like I said, it's okay not to be chosen,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: not to be accepted, none of that, cause God accepts you,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Allah accept you whatever you your spirituality or religion is
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: got you no matter what, and that's all that matters.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: So as long as God is leading your life with Jesus,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: with Jesus leading your life with God's guidance, that's all
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: that matters. So that being said, I thank y'all for
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: joining me for this episode.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I'm your host. God is I should marry. I'm'a. I
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: appreciate y'all for joining me for this episode.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: If y'all want one on one coach, you wanna send
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: me letters or be a part of my podcast and
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: be a guest. Now you wanna send me s some
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: type of sponsorship deal, please email me at a s
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: h A dot M A r I A M A
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: zero one at gmail dot com. That's a s h
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: A dot M A r I A M A zero
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: one at gmail dot com. And with that being said,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: we'll talk later, by y'all,