Latest / The Multiverse Collective / Wild Wild West E9: Mixed Signals

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Wild Wild West E9: Mixed Signals · The Multiverse Collective

0:00
No, you would think people that get pulled over would laugh when
0:03
I talk to them like Elmo or or anything like that, but they
0:07
they are just just as mad. OK, honestly, if if a cop came
0:13
up to me was just like I, I can't do the Elmo voice.
0:17
But like, do you know, do you know why Elmo pulled her over
0:20
today? I'd be like.
0:24
With a with a blank stare on their face.
0:26
Like I'm like OK you ruined it. Here's your citation.
0:30
It would be the best fucking day of my life.
0:38
Well, that was certainly a tough time getting to go on back to
0:43
Hammer Day Springs after. Well, you know, I was hoping I
0:48
could catch that Vermont Ezekiel by surprise and show them what
0:50
for. Well, turns out we got jumped by
0:55
some nasty. Must have been attracted to all
0:58
that negative energy still hanging around.
1:01
In any case, Arthur and Slick shot him point blank more than a
1:05
couple of times, but he just kept refusing to go down.
1:09
But then something took him down for good.
1:12
I don't know if I should be grateful or scared.
2:04
So we find our gang of intrepid. I hesitate to use the word
2:08
heroes on the, I don't know, smoldering remains of Amadeus
2:15
Springs. I did have to stop myself from
2:17
saying Asmodeus Springs again. Who would have thought?
2:21
Fraudulent slip. Yeah.
2:24
And. And you guys are confronted with
2:27
this creature that you were not able to kill, but somebody has
2:30
dropped it. What are you guys all thinking
2:32
right now in this in this situation like Arthur, you've
2:35
just slide tackled him effectively off of your orders.
2:40
I'm I'm just, I think Arthur's more upset that he didn't get to
2:43
use these hands after he, like the power of Christ, compelled
2:47
them. Yeah, that was a great line.
2:49
I'm sorry that it didn't work. And I think he's also confused
2:53
as to how from a distance he looked like a full person, but
2:58
when he's actually finally grabbed him he's just skin and
3:00
bone. Yeah.
3:02
What happened with the body? Is it like still there?
3:07
It's, I mean, currently we. Haven't.
3:09
Yeah, it hasn't been dead even for for five seconds yet, so I
3:12
guess you don't know what's going to happen to.
3:14
The I didn't know if like as soon as it died if it would like
3:15
dissolve. It's currently like, you know,
3:17
when like the side character dies in the hero's arms sort of
3:20
situation. Failures.
3:24
I wish I had a a witty quit for this one, but I'm not going to
3:27
lie, being on the being on the smoking remains my old house
3:32
don't make me feel too good right about now.
3:34
Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, Itchy, this is a
3:37
horrifying thing for you to walk back into.
3:39
We haven't really addressed your emotions about returning to this
3:43
place, but I think there is something more pressing
3:45
happening and that is the fact that somebody shot and killed
3:50
this mysterious creature, somebody who you 3 have not met
3:54
and. Did it come out of like bushes
3:58
like is there, do we see anybody or is it like.
4:01
I don't think you've seen anyone yet, but I, I think, I don't
4:04
know, I don't want to speak for them, but I think they're
4:06
probably approaching fairly rapidly from, you know, the
4:10
marsh. Somewhere, somewhere I'm going
4:13
to pick up the body and use it as a as a shield and start
4:17
walking to where I'm assuming the bullet came from.
4:20
Yeah, the body is starting to kind of disintegrate into ash,
4:24
not super fast, but like it's crumbling as you're as you're
4:28
holding it. Great.
4:31
It's like a holster as weapons. You're like, well, clearly
4:35
somebody knew something about this that we didn't 'cause I'd
4:39
after shot it a bunch and it didn't die and it got shot once
4:42
from somewhere else and it died so.
4:45
Ichi just looks over at Evander, probably just like kind of
4:49
pawing a pile of ash and he's just like, all right, Evander
4:53
look alive. May got one more of these or
4:56
something. Evander stares into the middle
5:00
distance, dead eyed. I think the the voice or a voice
5:06
you will hear from like the Marsh will call out easy
5:09
partners. I was just here for him and he's
5:13
going to walk out. I'm going to put my hand back on
5:17
the revolver. Yeah, Noodle, introduce us to
5:24
your to your character. Tell, tell us about him.
5:27
So this gentleman is unlike myself.
5:31
He's very handsome, but he's very weather worn.
5:35
His name is Matthew Cash. He got the nickname Chicken for
5:42
that reason. He he fights at night time.
5:44
He prefers fighting at night time.
5:46
So everyone seemed to call him chicken.
5:50
What they don't know is he's actually one of the best sharp
5:53
shooters in all of East Texas and he has a little bit of a
5:57
crutch from that that hopefully you guys will come to
6:02
understand. Maybe he won't.
6:04
That's, that's the story of mystery here.
6:07
But he has a Smith and Wesson Model 3 pistol that has some
6:14
snake and eagle motifs put into it.
6:16
It's carved ivory grip. That's generally what he he uses
6:21
for his business. But he he comes riding out of
6:25
the marsh on on his horse, Milo, to name the horse, Yeah.
6:30
Absolutely. You can name the horse.
6:31
His name's Rufus. Rufus.
6:33
His name's Rufus. Rufus.
6:37
Ichi doesn't know what else to do but to to flick the brim of
6:41
his hat and he's just like, well, that's a modifying horse
6:44
you got there, Sir. In a in another life I'd be able
6:48
to show you around my house. But he just gestures to the
6:52
piles of ash and the occasional like wooden beams sticking out.
6:58
Well this is this is all I got at the moment.
7:03
That's quite a shame this happened recently.
7:06
Yeah, a few weeks back we were. Well, excuse me, where are my
7:11
manners? I'm itchy.
7:12
Nice to meet you. And he extends a hand.
7:25
Yeah, Chicken is going to put away his pistol and he's going
7:28
to extend his hand. Name's Matt Cash.
7:31
Some call me Chicken, but most will do 6 feet under or deeper.
7:37
Noted. So you you came here for this
7:41
thing and he just sort of motions at the ash.
7:45
Yeah, it hasn't completely turned to to dust yet, but it is
7:50
rapidly happening. I'm going to throw its jacket
7:54
into the wind. I wasn't here just for him
8:00
mainly I was here from other business.
8:04
If you boys want to talk about I have a cabin not too far away.
8:07
You're welcome to stay there with me.
8:09
Son, son. Got a frog in your throat there?
8:16
Yeah, please keep that Kyle when you're editing.
8:25
You need to take me to dinner first before you invite me back
8:28
to your cabin. Arthur.
8:30
I'll assure you I can have some food set aside.
8:34
I'm down. It's been a long day and we've
8:37
not eaten yet. I he just like just sort of
8:42
looks at the other people and goes, I guess I don't see a
8:45
reason not to go with him at this point.
8:47
You know, it's what else are we going to do here?
8:50
And he just sort of motions to the actions around him.
8:53
Well, I do have one thing I kind of want to do that I I didn't
9:00
have a chance to do before I left.
9:02
I wouldn't mind just taking a look around seeing if there's
9:07
anything salvageable. All right.
9:11
I'd also like to do an analyze check Rye because you said it's
9:14
still smoldering and it's been several weeks since.
9:20
Yeah, second, I know better. I'm hyper analysing this.
9:24
Wow, Oh my God, you guys found a clue.
9:27
I'm so proud. Oh my God, what a fucking
9:31
beautiful day. Yes, of course you may roll an
9:34
analyze check. Smarts 1/2 dice both fails,
9:41
baby. Yeah, You think you haven't,
9:45
like an inkling that there's something not right about the
9:48
fact that these ruins are still smoldering despite the fact that
9:51
it has been weeks. But, you know, it kind of passes
9:54
out of your mind. There's other stuff going on.
9:57
There's more exciting stuff going on than investigating
10:00
this. OK, so Ichi is going to look
10:04
around where he remembers the the main house to be.
10:07
The one thing that he is looking for is the remains of his
10:13
parents. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
10:17
I don't know a way about of of speaking about that without
10:20
being incredibly morbid. That's it.
10:23
Yeah, that's fair. I think, you know, you spend a
10:26
little time rooting around and I don't think it's difficult.
10:28
Like you heard the beam crack, you know, probably where they're
10:31
at. I don't think it's far fetched
10:33
that you find them. Yeah, I would imagine, I would
10:38
imagine a beam like that. It was probably one of the ones
10:40
that was like one of the main like cross beams.
10:43
So I'd imagine that there's maybe even a little bit still
10:47
there. Yeah, Yeah.
10:49
I mean, I don't necessarily want to get into graphic detail just
10:52
because we are trying to keep this a little bit less difficult
10:57
to listen to than the pocket episodes.
11:00
Yeah, I think you find your parents and I, I think with some
11:03
help from your friends, you're able to remove their bodies from
11:07
underneath the beam and do your thing.
11:11
Yeah, I think without, without dwelling on it too much more,
11:16
Ichi just wants to give them a, a proper burial somewhere on the
11:20
on the land here. Yeah.
11:22
Do you want to talk at all about how Ichi's feeling or like
11:24
what's going through his mind as he's doing this or?
11:27
Yeah, I think as he's just kind of like digging through the
11:30
wreckage, you know, it, it starts kind of haphazardly.
11:34
Ichi almost like doesn't know where to start.
11:37
And he's just kind of like kicking things around with his
11:39
boot. But like as he gets I guess more
11:43
into it, the emotions just come flooding back and he goes from,
11:48
you know, kind of kicking around this wreckage to to like rooting
11:53
around with his hands to like being full on his hands and
11:56
knees, like digging like like a madman just looking for any kind
12:02
of semblance of something that was here.
12:07
And I think when he when he finds his parents, I think he
12:11
fully for probably about, I don't know, a couple of minutes,
12:15
just like falls like almost face down in this, this wreckage.
12:23
It's like come over and help him sort of pull out whatever's
12:26
left, like. I'll help you out there, but.
12:33
You see, Ichi's Ichi looks up. It's like, and I mean his, like
12:38
his whole front half is now covered in ash but you can see
12:43
where there's just like a wet streak under his eyes.
12:47
And Ichi doesn't say anything, he just he nods and he goes to
12:50
grab like a a shovel to start digging a couple of holes.
12:55
Yeah, yeah, it's like will definitely help dig a hole as
12:59
well. Probably not very big.
13:01
I imagine it's probably just bones at this point.
13:04
It's not like we're trying to bury a whole body.
13:06
What's the Vander doing? What is a Vander doing?
13:11
Oh shit, we're asking. Good questions this.
13:14
You are finally asking good questions.
13:16
Oh my God. I have been overthinking
13:20
everything about this in the last month since we played this
13:22
so. Good for you.
13:24
That's exactly what I wanted, so thank you for really leaning
13:28
into it. Yeah, Evander has kind of
13:30
wandered over to the Staples and is just sort of pawing it at it.
13:35
But he is, he's like focused on something, although you can't
13:38
really tell from this distance what it would be.
13:40
Right, I'll walk over to Evander.
13:42
Then while they're burying the bones, I'll walk and see what
13:46
Evander is pouring at. As a horse who thin at.
13:54
Yeah, so Evander is just kind of like shuffling stuff around.
13:59
You know, I, I don't know if you really have spent a lot of time
14:02
with horses, but they have like some idle behavior where they
14:04
just will like paw things up their board.
14:07
But he's specifically clued into this swirling mass of of
14:13
darkness. There's just like this 4 by 4
14:17
hole. Like this void in the ground at
14:19
the stables. Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, folk
14:25
that. Oh, Mr. Cash, as they're, as
14:36
they're doing this, what are you up to?
14:40
I think he's looking around anxiously, almost very
14:45
cautiously. He wants to give Ichi his time
14:49
to bury his parents. But he doesn't want to be
14:54
sticking around, so I think he's going to walk over to Arthur and
14:57
kind of just just tap like the back of his shoulder and say.
15:02
Fuck who? Who you?
15:04
Hey boss, I. We need to be moving, we can't
15:09
be sticking around here. Son fucking Hell's just opened
15:15
up in front of me here and. You don't even know.
15:19
He's, you know, the little man over there, he's got some demons
15:24
in his blood and you know, this, this, this may help sort him out
15:28
a little bit, so. You just, you just hear like the
15:35
wind is carrying itchy. Just like singing in Latin.
15:40
Matt, you know I need to hear it.
15:44
Just. Boss, I don't know what he's
15:46
like. We've hit, we've hit phase two
15:50
of the demons in his blood Is the ride far to your cabin?
15:58
No, it's about 30 minutes, but we don't have much longer to
16:04
stick around here. How long would you say we have
16:07
before we have to leave? Judging on this portal, about 5.
16:12
I'm going to Sprint to like itchy and slick.
16:16
I'm going to RIP the shovel out of Itch's hand and I'm just
16:20
going to absolutely use all of the strength in this brick shit
16:24
House of a body to make. This whole big enough in time
16:27
I'd. Like to see the motivation,
16:31
Arthur. Well, that's a that's a vigor
16:33
for digging that I ain't never seen.
16:35
What's what's going on there, partner?
16:38
Your horse found a portal to hell Chicken over there.
16:45
Here, he said. We have to leave, I think.
16:53
He walks over and he's just like, all right, show it to me.
16:58
This is my property. I want to see it.
17:01
I think Chicken's going to be mounting his horse just right
17:04
outside the stable and he's going to point to the portal and
17:08
just say that's all you need to see.
17:12
I'm warning you boys, you need to leave.
17:14
You couldn't handle that one. What comes out next is going to
17:17
be worse. Hey, Riley.
17:20
Yeah. Does the portal smell like
17:22
anything specific? Kind of like sulfur.
17:26
You can tell that that's like the source of the the remaining
17:29
smouldering. That's where the the wreckage is
17:31
sort of concentrated. Classic portal to hell.
17:34
Yeah, classic Portal to Hell. I was not very original when
17:38
designing the Portal to Hell. I though that's hard to believe.
17:42
All right. Well, I think what's what's done
17:46
is needed to be done. I can, I can be emotional where
17:51
we're safe. Lead us to it, Mr. Cash.
17:55
Yeah, I think he will. He will kind of just take off on
17:59
Rufus and and head north, looking back every now and then
18:02
to make sure that the boys are still following.
18:05
Yeah, absolutely. I think for for the ride there
18:09
for the first time maybe ever, Itchy is like silent.
18:15
Oh, that's even scarier. I'm going to ride next to Slick.
18:22
And be like, do you think, do you think he's going to be OK?
18:27
I think I itchy. I see we're talking about.
18:30
Yeah, probably. I mean, it doesn't seem like
18:33
things can really get much worse at this point, does it?
18:36
I mean, I mean, we did just find out there's a portal to hell on
18:40
his land, so. You know, what are you going to
18:44
do? I mean, before today I didn't
18:49
even know demons existed so. There's a lot you need to learn
18:53
in this world, man. Man.
18:57
I I will. I would argue that before today,
19:00
you in fact did know that demons existed, Mr. Steel Trap.
19:06
Son, before today, all I heard were rumors of a demon on a
19:12
crossroads. But that, that's, that's all
19:16
I've ever heard. Everyone's heard that rumor.
19:18
I'm a human. Yeah, some people, you know,
19:23
some people act on it a little bit more than others.
19:26
Would thinking about the Demon on the Crossroads trigger
19:30
anything for me because I've been battling this last episode.
19:34
Last episode I was battling to figure out the 1515 minutes of
19:37
my life that I forgot. Yeah, you can roll two more D6
19:40
just flat, see what happens. Hell yeah, that's double sixes.
19:45
Shit. OK, with double sixes, I think.
19:51
Do I have a that sort of Raven moment?
19:53
It's just like, I think it's my. Brain blessing, yeah.
19:57
I think it's pretty damn close. I think it comes back in
20:01
flashes, and you still aren't fully sure of your memory just
20:04
because it's been so patchy for so long, Mr. Steel Trap.
20:07
But I think you remember most of what happened.
20:10
And I think it's, yeah, I think it's just it's jarring to have
20:14
your memory come back to you in bits and pieces.
20:16
And it's not linear, and you don't remember the order in
20:18
which things happened. But if you focus on it long
20:21
enough, you can remember most of it pretty clearly.
20:26
Damn. Yeah, I don't know anything
20:30
about no demons. Dick.
20:37
Did any of us really expect anything else?
20:44
I mean, I did hear Evander speaking in reverse a few times
20:47
over the past couple of weeks, but you know.
20:49
Evander speaks. Yeah, that's nothing.
20:51
Don't worry about that. I.
20:52
Feel like that's normal? That's normal Evander behavior.
20:55
I'm going to walk around. Itch it and just be like son,
21:00
does your horse have demons in his blood too?
21:04
I mean, you saw that thing. I feel like if we don't have
21:08
demons in our blood, there's something wrong with us.
21:11
What the fuck have I got myself into?
21:15
Yeah. Itchy.
21:15
At some point, we're going to need to have a talk about
21:17
Evander. What, do you not like his
21:20
cookery? It's surprisingly fine.
21:24
That's not the issue. All right, because I taught him
21:27
how to make that fettuccine Alfredo.
21:28
I'll tell you what that's that is my recipe.
21:34
It needs chicken, you know, I did over here.
21:39
A fart, a fart coming from that horse one time saying he's going
21:42
to make a restaurant called Quiznos one day.
21:44
But. Please don't make me make that
21:48
candy. Quiznos is kind of.
21:54
Everywhere. We're going to get away with a
21:55
Not Quiznos reference in this campaign at some point, right?
21:58
It's it Blame Matt for bringing up food also.
22:04
Well, I'm riding now that I know that there is demons and I have
22:09
made a deal with a demon. I'm going to take a silver coin
22:14
out my pocket and hold it and see if anything happens because
22:18
it's got something's got to have happened for slip to be like
22:20
don't ever let me touch these again.
22:24
Yeah, I think when you touch the coin, you, it feels warm.
22:29
It feels like body temperature, like it's been in your pocket
22:32
or, you know, you can't really read a whole lot into that.
22:35
But you can also see movement. The coin itself is lively.
22:39
The face on the coin, it blinks and it has expressions and it
22:43
doesn't look like the other faces on the other coins.
22:46
It's kind of, I don't know, the features though specifically are
22:50
difficult for you to make out. Still, it doesn't quite look
22:53
like a normal person. It looks a little bit more
22:56
amorphous than that. But you, and I'm so sorry, it's
23:01
like, I should have told you this earlier.
23:02
You would know that chicken is not quite right either.
23:08
He's definitely more lively than the demons that you've been
23:12
dealing with. I mean, I get it.
23:15
Duck is better, more flavorful. But there's something about him
23:20
that's not quite right. So he's he's, he's.
23:24
Not human. Or has he just had to?
23:27
Like does he have strings? No, he doesn't have any strings.
23:31
He's not quite human, but he's not quite not.
23:36
And Arthur, you would, after kind of having a revelation, you
23:40
would catch that vibe that Mister Cash is a little bit more
23:45
than he seems. All right, I'm going to keep
23:49
that to myself for now. I will look at Arthur and just
23:52
be like when we get to this cabin.
23:53
Just, you know, don't, don't be hostile, but don't let your
23:57
guard down either. I'm always on high alert.
24:01
That's I think Ichi feels it too but just assumes that chicken is
24:06
like European or something. Yeah, absolutely.
24:09
I mean, Ichi and Arthur still don't have the site yet fully.
24:13
They don't have quite the full understanding of what's going
24:15
on, nor have they made any sort of deal that specifically opens
24:20
up their vision. Yeah, already of.
24:23
The site like Slick has. European when we have one and
24:28
have had one the entire. Time he finally caught the bad
24:32
vibes last episode so. Hey.
24:36
Mr. Cash got a got a question for you.
24:40
Yeah, shoot. All right.
24:42
Look, you don't need to be. You don't need to be.
24:46
I understand if you don't want to tell that, but you can be.
24:48
You can be straight with with all itchy here.
24:51
Are you from are you from France?
24:54
Are you from Germany? Where are you from?
24:58
I I can tell. I can tell there's something
25:00
about you, but I can't. I can't quiet place it.
25:03
I can answer I'll answer all your questions as soon as we get
25:07
inside here. But don't worry, I'm I'm a
25:10
Texan. Itchy just looks back y'all.
25:15
I figured it out. He's jerky and I think with that
25:22
you guys roll up to the cabin. It was a really uneventful
25:26
journey, thankfully, but enlightening for some of you in
25:29
a variety of ways. Yeah, I assume we'll just sort
25:41
of tie off our horses to a tree or post or some shit before he
25:46
goes in and before any like when nobody's looking, Slick's just
25:49
gonna discreetly check his arm guns to make sure they're loaded
25:53
and ready, just in case. Yeah, yeah.
25:56
So what is this cabin like Noodle?
25:59
It's a very your stereotypical just log cabin.
26:02
It's very small. It's only made probably for two
26:05
people at most. He made it himself.
26:09
It was more on the go, but he he built it more to be close to the
26:15
area that they're in. But it has two windows just on
26:20
the front side on on one on each side of the door with there's a
26:26
small overhang. But it has a a horse trawl just
26:30
so he can leave his horse. And if it's raining, it can get
26:33
out of the rain, but nothing too fancy.
26:36
Is this a recent build for him or is this something that's been
26:39
around for the last couple of years?
26:41
I'd say he he would have built it probably a a couple years ago
26:45
and he utilizes it whenever he needs to get to certain areas.
26:50
Fair enough. I think as as Ichi walks through
26:55
the front door, he he looks at Chicken and he once again, very
26:59
politely, like, you know, pulls down the brim of his hat and
27:02
he's just like, well, you know, it's kind of embarrassing that I
27:06
don't know more of your language.
27:07
But VM Lindonka, Sir, for, for letting us letting us stay here.
27:16
I, I hope you don't mind. Evander's kind of an inside
27:19
horse, and you look over and Evander's already has his head
27:23
fully through the window. Can chicken notice anything
27:27
about Evander? Oh, yeah, you'll know.
27:30
Evander is not normal. Yeah, he's, you can't quite
27:35
figure out like what exactly is wrong with him.
27:38
He he's just, he's not normal. He's not a normal horse.
27:42
He's not. How much can I say with that
27:46
ruining thing? Sorry, sorry, don't don't you
27:48
know, just leave it. I'm, I think I'm just going to
27:50
look at Itchy and just say, Yep, that that horse, there's three
27:55
nails short of a saddle horse. Catch my drift?
27:58
He's real beauty, ain't he? Yeah, yeah.
28:01
And he'll kind of just usher you inside.
28:04
Son, that horse. It's a scary motherfucker.
28:10
Look, say what you will about Evander, I know he's a little
28:12
bit bigger than most, but he's, I mean, well, now I guess he's
28:17
the only one of my my stock, but he's he's my prime, my prime
28:22
animal here. This one knows how to dressage
28:25
better than any horse I ever seen.
28:27
Show them Evander. What's it do?
28:31
What dance does it do? The Macarena?
28:36
The Cha Cha slide. The Electric Slide.
28:41
Evander does the electric slide. It is cannon, folks.
28:47
I don't think there's a dance that that has, is or ever will
28:51
be that Evander can't do. How about that?
28:55
You get used to the horse after a while.
28:59
You would know that you would not get used to that horse.
29:01
As as slick passes past chicken, he's going to kind of just not
29:06
not aggressively, but put his hand on his shoulder and say
29:10
nice handkerchief and he's just going to kind of like wink in a
29:15
way just that like he he knows. Slick will stop for a second,
29:20
but he won't acknowledge anything about that.
29:23
But he definitely. Arthur's going to lean over to
29:27
Itchy. Itchy I I think, I think Mr.
29:31
Cash here and our, our friend Slick had a sexual history.
29:37
That's what you're saying when you get each other.
29:41
The fact that he brought up a handkerchief, Oh, there's no
29:43
doubt in my mind, Arthur. Look, we got to be, we got to,
29:49
we got to tiptoe real, real nice around this, all right?
29:54
Fuck you, Niall. Itchy should we?
30:06
Should we go and get some firewood so these two, the
30:10
gentlemen can have this conversation about their
30:12
handkerchief? Hey, you know what that's a
30:17
that's a good that's a good thought.
30:19
I'll I'll bring Evander too. I'll make sure he'll he he can
30:24
help carry it. Ain't that right?
30:26
And Evander just Evander, just like, looks at slick, gives him
30:31
a wink, walks. Off.
30:36
I hate the fact that's actually probably an ideal scenario.
30:39
Is you guys leaving? Oh, I will say Noodle Chicken
30:48
would know that or would feel like the moment that Evander is
30:51
sort of out of his presence, that a lot of like that pressure
30:55
and like that stress and the demonic energy he was feeling is
30:59
evaporating. Oh dear God.
31:04
I just realized we have a chicken noodle now.
31:07
I noticed that you're on the board, so you guys are leaving.
31:15
Yeah, we're we're gone. All right, shit, all right.
31:18
I'm not, didn't even take an axe, I'm just going to use my
31:21
bare hands to punch trees because that's how hench I am.
31:25
We we have an axe, though you have a.
31:27
Oh, yeah, I have a tomahawk. I have a tomahawk.
31:29
Yeah, but but we we've already discovered that I'm scary enough
31:34
to the rain that it doesn't touch me.
31:35
So I feel like in the same vein, trees just fall when I look at
31:39
them. Sure.
31:43
We're not making that kind of knowledge.
31:45
OK, great. There would have been
31:46
consequences. I'm glad you decided.
31:51
I mean I have a second axe if you want one.
31:55
This is this is good. I learned this from a an old
31:59
Chinese fella. He said punch in the tree will
32:02
make my hands stronger. That's how they do it back East,
32:06
huh? Apparently so.
32:11
Arthur is Asian, excellent or not not.
32:14
That's like Itchy thinks Arthur is Asian.
32:17
Oh no, I was like, back East is like New York.
32:30
So Slick is still with chicken. Yeah, slick, slick still in the
32:34
the cabin, just looking at like I, I'm not entirely sure why
32:40
they left. Saves me the problem of getting
32:45
fired. Would I guess have a seat?
32:48
Slicks takes a seat and looks at chicken.
32:52
What do you know of all this shit going on?
32:56
Obviously more than you always did shooting iron at a demon.
32:59
I haven't fought many demons. I've been around them, but I
33:04
haven't fought any. Haven't really had the need to.
33:07
Yeah, your other two boys have been as well.
33:10
But if we're going to have to be fighting these things, what do
33:14
we need to use? He's going to pull out his, his,
33:18
his pistol and lay it on the table and just kind of like spin
33:21
it in a Safeway. I guess.
33:24
I I didn't think about that. Yes, kids practice good gun
33:31
safety. Don't just spin a loaded fucking
33:33
gun on a table in a room full of people.
33:35
But. Anyway, carry on.
33:37
He's going to, he's going to open it up and kind of just dump
33:41
the bullets on the table and look at slick.
33:44
Well, the first thing you should know is you need silver or it
33:48
needs to be blessed or cursed, whatever you prefer.
33:52
Well, I don't know if I got any leads on that, but I can ask
33:56
around for it. Oh, I know, God.
33:58
I'll wait till your boys get back.
33:59
I can break it all down for you, but did you know they've had
34:04
some dealings with demons before I met you guys, right?
34:08
I've been trying to hint to them about that.
34:13
I think they're slowly coming around to it, but you know how
34:17
their deals can be. So you can see them.
34:19
Oh. I can see them.
34:24
I don't come across too many people that have the sight.
34:27
Yeah, I was a little present back home.
34:31
It's good to know, good to know. He'll help you out of here.
34:35
No, it's helped out so far. And I think chicken's just going
34:38
to like try to make some coffee or or something that's inside
34:42
the cabinet. It's not well stocked.
34:44
It's more just a couple days supplies of things there.
34:48
But he's going to try to make some food or get some drinks
34:51
ready for when Itchy and Arthur get back.
34:54
For sure Itchy Arthur, what are what are you 2 doing in the
35:00
woods? Alone.
35:03
Do you think there's been enough?
35:04
What do you mean? What else do two men do when
35:06
they're alone in the woods? Do you think it's been enough
35:10
time? Itchy.
35:11
You know I'm. I'm fucking hungry here.
35:13
No. I mean, it's been about 15
35:18
minutes, How long do you think it'll take?
35:22
Arthur looks at his wrist like there's no watch or anything
35:25
there any good. You know.
35:31
Arthur, from your experience about 8. 8 minutes on a good
35:37
day. All right.
35:39
So I think by the time, I think by the time we get back, they'll
35:42
probably be closed. Awesome.
35:50
When we get back, I'm glad. Oh God, I'm going to open a
35:52
window. I think.
35:58
Never mind, that was me. I'm a bit.
36:00
I'm a bit. Itchy.
36:02
Itchy kind of slowly opens the door and he's just like, well,
36:05
we were just out there chopping wood.
36:07
I mean gathering fire and wood and here.
36:13
And I think Itchy just puts puts a few bundles of firewood.
36:20
I assume there's like a fireplace in the cabin or
36:22
something. Much appreciated.
36:25
Itchy. Well, well, y'all two were
36:28
canoodling. I mean, I mean well golly well,
36:35
well Evander said he wanted to make some, some noodles for for
36:42
dinner. I mean as a as a thank you for
36:44
letting us into your house and home.
36:47
Very well, I've never really let a horse cook me food before.
36:51
I guess stranger things have happened.
36:54
Oh, I promise you he's real good at it.
36:56
I. Can't believe I'm letting this
36:58
happen. I, I, I'm, I'm in the same boat.
37:00
A ride, don't worry. Where did he go to learn how to
37:06
cook? That's what I want to.
37:08
Know hell? You mean where we all are right
37:14
now? Yes.
37:15
That's Dern ride hell Sinky, Finland.
37:29
This is out of hand. Oh shit, I want.
37:32
To make sure that that size stays.
37:36
Slick looks at the other guys like the hell have you been?
37:38
We've been waiting for you. Come sit down so we can fucking
37:41
talk. We, we just thought we'd let you
37:43
shoot the shit. I mean we we just thought you
37:48
know you 2 had a history as per say but well excuse me for
37:55
catching the wrong vibes when a man winks at another man.
38:01
You know the sheriff had a thing for itchy.
38:08
Like can you blame it? They winked at each other plenty
38:11
of times. I didn't.
38:14
I didn't know that was the term. I just thought you walk up to
38:18
somebody and said would you like to go in the Bush and do some
38:22
Greco Roman wrestling? I'm going to slowly look at
38:25
Itchy. This is a conversation for
38:31
another time, son. We have a lot more important
38:36
things to deal with here, whatever the hell you guys are
38:39
talking about, OK? And I'm just going to, like I
38:45
have in every single establishment we've been to so
38:47
far, sit, Sit in the corner with me feet on the table.
38:52
All right, you boys get comfy. Way ahead of you.
38:54
Let's get down to brass tacks. And I think chicken's going to
38:57
kind of like probably throw like a log on the on the fire that's
39:02
inside and just kind of turn around and take a deep breath.
39:08
And he just kind of continues with introducing himself in a
39:11
more formal area where it seems safe.
39:14
Again, I'm Matt Cash, but I'm assuming you guys are just going
39:19
to keep calling me Chicken like everybody else does.
39:22
What you don't know is I'm a part of a group.
39:26
It's called the Guild, and we specialize in one thing and one
39:29
thing only, and that's killing demons.
39:34
He's going to. Can he look?
39:38
Can I look and like, I don't want to say analyze, but I want
39:42
to, yeah. You know what I'm going to like?
39:44
Analyze like the boys to see if there's anything that would
39:48
catch my eye, whether it's something in there like hanging
39:51
out of a pocket or anything that's doesn't belong.
39:56
Yeah, absolutely. And you can go ahead and and
39:59
roll a Smarts check, which would just be your base tie I think
40:04
for. Given your breadth of his
40:07
experience, I'll let you roll 3 dice for this particular one.
40:10
Since we didn't give you a fully fleshed out step walk, I got.
40:16
Two passes. OK, sweet.
40:19
So with two passes, you notice that both Arthur and Angie have
40:24
obviously made deals with Crossroads demons.
40:27
They're like totally transparent to you.
40:29
You can tell that they were made with demons created by Ballam.
40:34
You can tell that they've recently encountered him.
40:38
Actually, they still have like some of his aura radiating off
40:41
of them. Slick does as well, and you can
40:45
tell that. Let's see.
40:49
I think you can tell that both Arthur and AT are close to
40:52
understanding what's going on, but don't have full usage of the
40:56
site. And you can also tell that
40:59
Arthur has soul coins on his person.
41:02
OK. I think chickens going to
41:06
explain to them like you three I'm not what most would call
41:12
normal. When I was a boy my parents were
41:16
killed by a crossroads demon. They went back on their deal and
41:20
right before he struck me down a black fog appeared.
41:25
Damon disappeared and I heard a voice and said I'll be spared.
41:29
But when I get older, I got to make up for what happened today,
41:34
so you can say I was touched by a demon just like you. 2.
41:40
And he's going to look over and nod his head towards Arthur and
41:44
Ichi. Itchy Arthur's going to look up
41:48
the chicken just quizzically like.
41:51
Ain't no demon ever touched me, son.
41:53
No one has you can see it. I can help you guys see it if
41:59
you want. Let me roll to see how I would
42:09
take help from a stranger. Y'all, y'all.
42:19
I need to know what you're going to say.
42:20
I need to know what you're going to say.
42:22
You can't y'all twice. Ichi looks over at Evander, who
42:27
has finished cooking and in front of you as well.
42:36
Riley, how does? No I guess.
42:38
I guess Ichi will take it from the stove in the middle.
42:42
I assume there's like a table that we're all sitting around in
42:46
the middle. Can't believe I fucking did this
42:48
for the bit in the middle of the table.
42:51
Ichi puts down a giant wheel of cheese with, with pasta in the
42:58
middle. And he just can't believe I
43:06
fucking did this in a bit. He looks he looks over at
43:11
Evander, who has like the, you know, traditional chef's hat on.
43:16
And he's just like, well, this one's Evander's favorite Caccio
43:19
E Pepe in a, in a wheel Reggiano.
43:24
Eat up, boys. Hope y'all enjoy.
43:27
Can I ask a question? Because we never, we never
43:29
actually said that Evander came into the house.
43:34
Yeah, he didn't. No, no, it's something worse.
43:44
Can I roll and analyze them to tell if I can see that is
43:47
something wrong? Yeah, so, Arthur Slick and Mr.
43:52
Cash, you do not see Evander at all.
43:56
Itchy has been in the stove cooking this entire time.
43:58
You haven't seen Evander since you got here, and Ichi suggested
44:02
that Evander cook. What'd you get on your analyze
44:06
check? I got 2 sixes.
44:10
Yeah, so with two successes. Arthur, you realize Evander is
44:14
not here. Anyway, Mr. Cash, carry on with
44:17
your story. Ichi's just presented you with a
44:20
beautiful dinner. Been a while since I had some
44:27
home cooked meal so who am I to not partake?
44:31
And he's going to. I think he's just going to reach
44:33
his hand in and just eat it like a caveman.
44:40
Ichi is pulling out like sets of like like foldable silverware.
44:44
I'm going to look at Slick and just be like, you know, visual
44:49
gag on a podcast. Classic, classic.
44:53
But for the listeners at home, he's going to look perplexed.
44:57
He's going to be looking at Slick and then he's going to be
45:00
looking at Itchy. He's going to be looking at
45:01
Slick. Just like like, like, you know,
45:05
the, the sort of am I fucking seeing things or fuck.
45:12
All right, so Evander isn't like he didn't is can we hear him
45:16
outside? Like did he just not come in or?
45:20
That was like. Gone.
45:21
What is the like? What is the meaning of gone in
45:23
this case? You'd have to go outside to
45:26
know. I don't.
45:27
I'm going fucking outside here. I'm standing on.
45:29
I don't. Think sitting here around the
45:31
table, any of you would notice anything is different.
45:34
You know Evander is loud, but you guys are outside and there
45:37
are other horses out there. So you hear horse noises.
45:39
Arthur, when you go outside, you see three horses.
45:43
None of them are Evander. That's what I was afraid of.
45:49
Itchy. Itchy just gets up from the
45:52
table and he's like, Arthur, what you doing outside?
45:56
Evander cooked us a nice a nice meal.
45:59
I'm going to. Oh, all right, let's see how I'm
46:02
going to do this. OK, Sorry, I've just rolled
46:08
three sets of double sixes in a row and I'm your.
46:11
Dice are loaded. He rolls really high all the
46:18
time. I'm going to turn around to
46:21
Itchy and I'm going to grab him. I'm going to take him into the
46:25
like I'm going to lift his feet off the ground, which isn't
46:27
high, you know, like compared to Arthur Itchy's what like nipple
46:32
height or something. So I'm going to take him up.
46:35
I'm going to throw him into a chair.
46:37
I'm going to tie him up. I'm going to take like rope and
46:40
I'm going to be like. So what's Evander doing now?
46:44
What is Evander doing now? I don't know, Angie, what is
46:47
Evander doing now? Is Evander in the room with us?
46:52
Is he in the room with you? Oh, this is up to me.
46:56
Yeah, this is up to you. See, what you see is very
47:02
different from what everyone else sees about Evander going
47:05
forward now. I, I understand Itchy just looks
47:09
over to the like the kitchen area and he's just like, what do
47:15
you mean? Evander's right there?
47:16
He's cleaning up the dishes like he always does.
47:19
Ain't that right, Evander? But OK.
47:22
But, but on the real though, what's what's up with this rope?
47:25
Are we trying to? Don't worry about it, son.
47:28
There are people there, there are people in here.
47:32
OK, son, it's OK. I don't know.
47:35
I don't know if. I don't.
47:40
Know if Mr. Cash is going to be OK with this?
47:43
I'm going to I'm going to push it shit into the corner.
47:48
I'm going to turn around. I'm going to sit at the table.
47:50
I'm going to like get real low. So itchy, can't hear us but.
47:55
What the fuck is going on with this man?
48:01
One second, itchy boys. You're going to be so fucking
48:05
for real with me right now. I had some shit.
48:10
Don't get me wrong, we've been over there, but I don't how,
48:14
how, how, how the fuck have I been seeing a fucking horse for
48:20
the last three fucking days? No, it's not there.
48:35
Slick's going to look over it cash and be like what you got
48:40
for those silvers. Name your price. 44 balls,
48:44
that's what I need. OK, so no one's going to answer
48:48
my question find. Me a second Arthur.
48:50
I'm working on it all. Right.
48:51
Is this silverware on the table? It was collapsible so I don't
48:55
know if it was actual silverware or just like.
48:57
Oh wait, shit, I'd have silverware in my bag with all my
49:01
eating shit. I'm going to take me me fork out
49:04
and throw it at the kitchen. What the?
49:11
Hell, are you? Doing, but I'm going to use it
49:13
like my like a throwing weapon, which I'm assuming is.
49:21
Is it actually made out of silver?
49:23
Yeah, I, I, I'd assume so. I feel like I've got I've had
49:26
enough money in the last several years when I'm making $800 a
49:29
month as a man of the law. Slick's going to be be like,
49:33
he'll walk over and he'll pick up the silver knife or the
49:35
silver fork and he'll walk over to Itchy and he'll sort of sit
49:40
in front of him and be like Itchy.
49:42
All right, Slick, can you please explain to me what's going on?
49:46
Because I'm, I'm confused and I don't know whether to be like
49:49
excited or scared or both. These are weird feelings.
49:54
Take a breath. I need you to know this is going
49:57
to hurt and he's going to stab the silver fork in the itchy's
50:00
leg. What the fuck?
50:11
My thought process is I'm hoping that I can get Evander out of
50:15
him like whatever, because clearly we have seen Evander.
50:19
Yeah, he's gone. Evander is real.
50:21
Evander is not here right now. Yeah, he.
50:24
Slick's assumption is that Evander is possessing Itchy at
50:27
the moment and that hopefully the silver can break the
50:29
connection. This is like Wilfred.
50:34
Yeah. All right, all right, Slick,
50:38
what are what, What are you doing with that?
50:42
Yeah, there is a fork just fully sticking out of Itchy's thigh.
50:46
Itchy. Take one, take one.
50:48
HP as damage. Slick, I eat with that fucking
50:51
thing, man. Yeah, nothing happens.
50:56
He he bleeds like a normal person would bleed if you
50:58
stabbed them in the thigh with a fork.
51:01
Shit. You boys are.
51:03
Seeing me. Wally, what the fuck?
51:06
Is up. With you.
51:11
He'll he'll bowl the fork out and wrap a wrap a piece of cloth
51:16
around the knife, the fork in which pick calm down, itchy,
51:20
calm down. It was just just a nut, just a
51:22
fork. You just fucking stabbed me, you
51:25
son of a bitch. Itchy, you are being possessed
51:28
by your fucking horse. Mr. Cash, you would know that
51:31
this is untrue, entirely untrue. You felt Evander's very intense
51:38
presence just completely disappear from this point of
51:40
existence. OK, I think he's going to raise
51:44
his voice at the boys and all right, that's enough.
51:49
Take a seat and he's going to walk over and he's an.
51:52
Untie. Itchy.
51:57
Talk softly. Carry a big stick.
52:01
Just because he speaks quietly doesn't mean he doesn't have a
52:04
big presence. That's all you got to remember.
52:07
Arthur's still going to be like, nobody going to answer my
52:09
fucking question. Arthur.
52:13
Is anybody going to answer my fucking question?
52:15
Why did I just get snapped? Itchy.
52:20
This is all a hallucination, believe me.
52:24
Like we're all going to be OK, just stay quiet in the corner
52:29
for five fucking minutes. The last time you told me to
52:34
stay quiet in the corner, I got stabbed with a fucking fork.
52:39
Somebody, one of you motherfuckers, is going to
52:42
explain to me what is going on yesterday.
52:46
I've got a question, would I be able to non lethally knock itchy
52:52
out? Matt, would he be able to non
52:59
lethally knock niche out? I I don't want to make PVC
53:03
decisions for you. OK, OK, then.
53:06
Yes, Arthur. You.
53:07
May. Knock Itchy out.
53:09
OK, so I'm going to walk over to Itchy and like full on pimp slap
53:13
him and that's going to be the. Fuck, somebody needs to tell me
53:23
what is going on. OK now, now that the fucking
53:30
crazy bastard is asleep, we can have a conversation.
53:35
Somebody tell me what the fuck is going on and why the fuck
53:38
that horse isn't isn't here. What the fuck's all this shit
53:43
about demons? What the fuck's all this shit
53:45
about silver? Like come on man, explain it to
53:50
me like my 3 year old fucking learning the alphabet.
53:54
Very well, best way to put it is you guys are in the middle of a
53:57
shitstorm. That portal that you saw back at
53:59
the barn, that's new, but it's bad.
54:03
We, when I say we, I'm part of a group called the Guild.
54:08
As I said earlier, we had two of our more experienced members
54:12
come out here to investigate and they never turn back.
54:16
I don't know if you saw them or heard of them.
54:19
They're 2 sweet old women. I think some people know them as
54:23
the Weeping Widows. Oh, she's going.
54:27
To slowly turn and look at Arthur.
54:30
Arthur is not going to read any cues from this conversation.
54:34
Oh, the old horse. Yeah, they're both dead.
54:39
They're dead. Oh, that's quite a shame.
54:41
Hopefully it was painless and quick.
54:46
I can assure you. Unfortunately, that one of those
54:48
is true for one of them. The other one, I'm sorry to say
54:52
she bled out over a very long day.
54:59
They never showed up, so they sent me to come check things out
55:02
and I found you boys. So what is imperative that you
55:07
guys understand is the weapons you have aren't going to do
55:11
anything to the things you're about to encounter.
55:18
I guess we'll need some silver bullets.
55:20
OK, I'm in, I've I've got, I'll pay the money I need to to get
55:25
the gate we need, but you need to answer some fucking questions
55:27
for me. Shoot one.
55:30
What the fuck is a crossroads demon #2?
55:34
How the fuck have I been touched by a crossroads demon #3 What do
55:39
we do about that fucker? Oh, he's perfectly fine.
55:45
And that is where we're going to call that episode WE.
55:49
Can. Finally, breathe and just act
55:53
like ourselves. Oh, So what if we lonely just
56:00
men? Hey Noodle fucking who are you?
56:09
Where can people find you? I'm I'm Zach.
56:11
I am a performer for laughs and loot.
56:15
You can check this out on Spotify, Amazon, or any other
56:19
streaming service you find or use.
56:22
I'm in love. This is real and they don't get
56:32
to tell us how to feel. The lover of this?
56:36
Day. What we hide isn't just another
56:41
hope this romance when you're young to darling take my.
56:45
Hand So what if we only just men true love don't wait for any
57:02
man. No one tells us what we can.
57:12
Or. Can't do, darling, I know.
57:19
Oh, I know. And Starling, I know that I'm in
57:28
love.