Latest / Mommywood / Mommywood Recut: Postpartum, Auditions & Finding Mom Friends with Alessandra Torresani

Transcript

Mommywood Recut: Postpartum, Auditions & Finding Mom Friends with Alessandra Torresani · Mommywood

• 0:00
  Hey guys, it's Emily and this week's episode is a Mommy Would
• 0:03
  Recut with Alessandra Torresani. This conversation with
• 0:07
  Alessandra actually started because we met on a neighborhood
• 0:10
  walk with our husbands pushing our babies who were literally
• 0:14
  born days apart. We actually had the same due
• 0:18
  date, which is just wild. And yes, I absolutely did stop a
• 0:23
  stranger on the sidewalk and made her give me her number
• 0:26
  because new motherhood will humble you very quickly.
• 0:30
  Now when we've recorded this, we were both pretty brand new moms
• 0:35
  just trying to figure out what we were doing, how to audition
• 0:39
  with a baby, how to sleep, how to function, and honestly just
• 0:42
  like how to feel not alone. In this episode, we talk about
• 0:47
  postpartum mental health, birth stories, self tapes with a
• 0:51
  crying baby in the background, the pressure of being a woman in
• 0:55
  this industry while also wanting a family, and why finding other
• 1:01
  moms might just be one of the most important survival tools
• 1:06
  that you can have. It's funny, it's honest, it's
• 1:11
  slightly chaotic and very real, which is honestly why it feels
• 1:17
  like the most accurate version of motherhood.
• 1:20
  So please enjoy this episode of Mommy Would Recut with
• 1:26
  Alessandra Torresani. It's.
• 1:29
  Really cute. I also have cute.
• 1:33
  I also have to admit, so I'll tell the story, but I also have
• 1:36
  to admit that I was definitely creepy on my end because that on
• 1:42
  a neighborhood walk, I mean, you were walking with your husband
• 1:46
  and baby girl and I was also walking with my husband and baby
• 1:50
  girl. We passed each other and I was
• 1:51
  like, how old is she? And we have the same due date.
• 1:55
  I know which is so weird. Wild and so May was 3 two days
• 2:03
  early and you. Were two days late.
• 2:05
  Four days apart and then it was like your husband's.
• 2:12
  Yes, So her name was Marian. That's your baby's name.
• 2:16
  We were talking about how you the other name you were going to
• 2:19
  name May was Dorothy, which is my grandma's name, which is what
• 2:22
  I was thinking of naming my baby.
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  So I was like, Oh my God, this is so weird.
• 2:27
  And you remind me so much of my cousin Kim.
• 2:32
  It's like uncanny, like, oh, it's a great thing.
• 2:37
  She's the best, She's the most fun ever.
• 2:40
  The same mannerisms, like the same everything.
• 2:43
  So it was. Just like so.
• 2:45
  Bizarre and just so fun and and I feel like we were stalking
• 2:49
  each other in the neighborhood because every time I see a baby,
• 2:53
  I'm like, how old's your baby? Is it close in age?
• 2:55
  OK, you know. Well, The funny thing is right
• 2:59
  after we like, we're like, OK, bye.
• 3:02
  Nice. Yeah, nice to see you.
• 3:05
  And then we walked away. Also, my husband is Preston and
• 3:09
  yours is Sturgis, which is I am so bad at neighboring names that
• 3:14
  I was like, oh, Preston Sturgis. That makes.
• 3:17
  Sense. But we walked away from you guys
• 3:22
  and I was like to Preston, I was like, man, they seem like so
• 3:27
  nice. And like, what are the chances
• 3:30
  We should have gotten their number?
• 3:32
  And then I was like, what are the chances We're going to like
• 3:34
  cross again, even on this one walk, like, who knows?
• 3:39
  And so like we got to one of the corners and I was literally like
• 3:43
  looking down. Oh my God.
• 3:45
  I was like, and I was like, I hope they come.
• 3:47
  And I kid you not, we saw you coming.
• 3:50
  And I was like, we're just going to linger.
• 3:53
  No. Ask us again so I can ask no.
• 3:57
  Because I told Sturge I'm like, let's cook it, Let's go.
• 4:00
  Like we have to like, talk to them.
• 4:02
  These are like our friends, like I was.
• 4:04
  Like this is wild. It's new, but honestly, I think
• 4:08
  that it's super important. I know a lot of people that had
• 4:11
  babies and wanted to, you know, have friendships with people
• 4:16
  that they met in neighborhoods and stuff and they always would
• 4:20
  like miss it, right? And I'm, I'm a firm believer in,
• 4:23
  I didn't want to be like stalkers and be like, give us
• 4:26
  your number, you know, because like strangers and like stranger
• 4:30
  danger, right? You know, but, but for me,
• 4:33
  honestly, I was so keen on being like, I want to talk to people
• 4:37
  who have kids because you don't know, forget even, I mean like
• 4:44
  the kids like being friends, right?
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  But like moms like I don't know for you, but for me, like I went
• 4:50
  through a lot like postpartum. And so for me, I'm like anytime
• 4:54
  I can meet a mom that's close in age or like or similar, like the
• 4:58
  babies are close in age, maybe they understand what I'm going
• 5:02
  through. So then I'm not like the only
• 5:04
  like cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs 1, you know, So it's like a nice
• 5:08
  like camaraderie, like, you know, it's a familiarity like
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  you, because it's hard to have conversations postpartum about
• 5:16
  baby shit that your friends are I'm swearing, but that like your
• 5:20
  like other friends who don't have babies, like some of them
• 5:23
  won't understand. So it's.
• 5:24
  Hard. I'm like, I don't wanna feel
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  like I'm talking only about babies now that I'm a mom.
• 5:29
  Yeah, but also that's what's. Happening.
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  Right now. That's what's the current as I
• 5:35
  look outside my door and I see a baby, I'm like, oh, we should
• 5:38
  talk to them. Come join the podcast.
• 5:42
  But yeah, no, you don't want to be that person that always talks
• 5:45
  about it. But that's just realistically,
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  like where we are in our life. And it would be like, as if we
• 5:50
  were dating someone new or if we were getting married or, you
• 5:54
  know, going through a divorce or whatever.
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  Like that's just where you are in that moment of your life.
• 5:59
  Yeah. And especially, like, somebody
• 6:02
  else has to understand even if you're like, that's not exactly
• 6:06
  what you're talking about. It's like to have mothers within
• 6:10
  the same, like, age group, You're like, you at least like,
• 6:14
  get it. Like you don't even have to say
• 6:16
  anything like, like rescheduling and things like that.
• 6:20
  And when you're like, oh, like, I have to do this.
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  I have to. Nap time didn't go well.
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  Like, give me. Yeah.
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  Or like not even comparing, but like being able to like know,
• 6:31
  like hey, like for me, like I, I'm so lost on like naps and
• 6:36
  scheduling and all this stuff. Like I'm like the furthest I,
• 6:39
  I'm, I'm a little too loose as a goose when it comes to like my
• 6:43
  child. Like I'm just like, yeah, like
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  it's a free for all, you know what I mean?
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  Like. That's amazing.
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  I wish but. It's like nerve wracking to do
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  it because I'm like, well, maybe I should.
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  And so I'm so grateful to have friends like you and like other
• 6:57
  friends who have babies who run the same age where I can kind of
• 7:00
  check in and be like, is this normal?
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  Like, is this supposed to happen?
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  You know, you don't feel alone. It's a very lonely time.
• 7:07
  Yeah, man, I wish I could be as like cool as you, because that
• 7:11
  seems like that is such. AI don't think it's cool, I
• 7:14
  think it's lazy. No, no, no, no.
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  It's bad parenting. I no, it's not, It's so not
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  because I've like I just, we just had our four month checkup
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  today and I was like, I'm so type A and like doing the app
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  where like it's like, oh, this is when her nap is and blah
• 7:34
  blah. And the pediatrician's like
• 7:36
  she's the boss. Like just follow her.
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  She's the boss. And I'm like, OK.
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  Like. Yeah, I wish I was more of like
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  a chill. Like this is when she's
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  sleeping, This is when. And like I've learned now a
• 7:52
  little bit already and I nanny for like.
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  Where? I was like, but now with my own
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  it's like I don't it's. So different.
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  Especially for your first, like, I mean it's both of our first,
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  but like to be like cool about it and not be like, Oh my God,
• 8:10
  what is this and what is that like I.
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  Don't know if it's cool or if it's just like, I don't know any
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  other way because this is how I was raised.
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  Like maybe that's what it is or just, you know, I, I think
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  realistically I have a very I, I don't go to bed early.
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  I never have, I never will. Like that's just, it's just like
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  how I am. I get up early and I'm ready.
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  So if. She wants to party with me.
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  So if she wants to party, like she came with us to, you know, a
• 8:44
  birthday party last night until like 9:00 and then we came home
• 8:48
  and we watched, you know, a movie and like, I'm like, maybe
• 8:53
  it's not great, but for me it's what works with my schedule.
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  And I think that that's just kind of how I, I am going to
• 9:02
  keep it going until, you know, like when she has to like get up
• 9:06
  early and like she does. But right now I don't want to
• 9:09
  rock the boat because she's sleeping really well.
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  And I'm just like, whatever's working is like working, you
• 9:15
  know? But it is really hard because
• 9:18
  you're just like, I don't want to, I don't want to mess it up
• 9:21
  by not implementing certain things, you know, but I'm also
• 9:27
  very lucky. I think she's just a great kid.
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  And I was really like born, born with the I, I credited it to
• 9:35
  meditation because I meditated when I was pregnant.
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  And then my husband meditates at like twice a day.
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  And so she'll meditate with him and like sit with him when that
• 9:45
  happens. And I'll try to still meditate.
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  But it's been very hard postpartum for me to get back
• 9:50
  into it. It's.
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  A very OK, SO my other stalker thing that now I have to admit
• 9:57
  because obviously since I asked you to be on this podcast, I
• 10:02
  have to admit that. So I found you on Instagram and
• 10:05
  then I was like, Oh my God, you have a podcast which is amazing.
• 10:09
  And so I just like listen to like your latest episode and I
• 10:14
  was like, Oh my God, I didn't know you were an actor also.
• 10:18
  And I was like, what are the chances?
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  Cuz I feel like I've because I'm from the Midwest, I'm from Saint
• 10:25
  Louis and any most, not all, but most of my friends who moved out
• 10:32
  here from acting from college to pursue a career, like most of
• 10:38
  them are gone. Like they moved back.
• 10:41
  They wanted to like they wanted to start a family, so they went
• 10:46
  back. That's what they did, right?
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  But yeah, I did like lose most of my actor friends and then I
• 10:54
  didn't have, didn't think I was going to have any mom friends
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  cuz when I got pregnant, I was like, I don't know anyone.
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  So now to like realize they're like, oh, there's moms that are
• 11:07
  actors that are here. Like what?
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  This is amazing. And like trying to figure out
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  how how people do it like Justin.
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  Just navigating it. Yeah, yeah.
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  Did you feel like, I wonder because this is something that I
• 11:25
  like had to contemplate and think about for many reasons for
• 11:28
  me, But did you feel a lot of pressure with your age?
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  Like not your age, but like being like, OK, if I want to
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  have a family, I better start. But also like, what's it going
• 11:40
  to do to my career? Like what's it going to do?
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  Like are people not going to see me the same?
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  Like am I still going to audition for the same types of
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  roles? Am I only going to be seen as a
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  mom now? Does that like, did you feel
• 11:53
  that pressure before? Did you spontaneously get
• 11:56
  pregnant? Did you plan it?
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  Like kind of what was your? Yeah, so, well, I May was so I
• 12:04
  turned 35 like 2 weeks before May was born.
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  So they called it a geriatric pregnancy, which don't you just
• 12:13
  love? Wait, what's your birthday?
• 12:15
  May 27th. OK, Yeah.
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  You ready for this? Oh God.
• 12:22
  You ready for this? My birthday is May 29th.
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  We're turned 35, we are two days apart and our daughters are two
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  days apart. So wild.
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  Oh my God, are you? Kidding me?
• 12:41
  We're this, we're living in this second, we're living the same
• 12:44
  life that's. That's insane.
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  What? Are the chances.
• 12:49
  That is insanity. We we were both Geri geriatric
• 12:53
  pregnancies, yeah. We Toledo.
• 12:56
  Right now. Stupid, especially barely.
• 12:59
  We are two. Days apart and our babies are
• 13:01
  two days apart. That is insane.
• 13:04
  That's hilarious. Oh my God.
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  Then they're like, OK, you're in this microphone because I can't
• 13:07
  believe it. Yes.
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  So we were both geriatric pregnancies, which my doctor, to
• 13:13
  be fair, was like, that's bullshit.
• 13:15
  Like that's not true. Like that, doesn't.
• 13:17
  But it is a weird thing right when you turn 30.
• 13:20
  But but that is so wild. So Can you believe we both have
• 13:23
  Geminis? That's yeah, I'm, I don't know
• 13:26
  if you follow like astrology, I don't really, but somehow I've
• 13:31
  found out that I'm a triple Gemini.
• 13:34
  So like my mood. Oh my gosh.
• 13:37
  And Preston's mother, my husband's mom is a triple Gemini
• 13:42
  as well. So I need to find out if, when,
• 13:45
  wait. What's Preston's birthday?
• 13:47
  Preston's a cancer. He's.
• 13:50
  I love cancers. Yeah, my dad.
• 13:53
  Oh I love. Yeah.
• 13:55
  Oh, I love cancers. So emotional.
• 13:59
  Yep, so emotional. Which makes sense.
• 14:01
  Did you plan exactly makes sense.
• 14:05
  Did you plan to be like, we're going to do this right now, like
• 14:08
  and have a baby or it was kind? Of that was the thing, since
• 14:12
  we're both in the industry and we were both like, definitely
• 14:16
  not where we want our careers whatsoever to be like, no.
• 14:21
  Barely. And I don't think anyone ever
• 14:22
  is, to be fair. So that's what I'm.
• 14:25
  Learning. But it was like, yeah, you know,
• 14:27
  we got to the point where it's like, obviously we're not
• 14:30
  anywhere near where we want our careers to be.
• 14:33
  But it's like I, I'm, I'm, I was 34.
• 14:39
  And it's like, well, I can't wait forever.
• 14:42
  Like if I want a baby, like I have to do it.
• 14:45
  And like, both of my sisters had a hard time.
• 14:47
  So we were like, you know, I guess we'll just try and it'll
• 14:53
  probably be like a year. Like, we'll see how long it
• 14:56
  takes. And it was so funny because I
• 15:00
  would, like, ask my OB, like, I had it like years ago.
• 15:04
  I was like, can you tell me how long it's going to take?
• 15:06
  And she was like, have you ever tried?
• 15:08
  And I was like, no. And she was like, OK.
• 15:12
  She was like, and I can't help you, you're.
• 15:13
  Crazy, but we were like, OK, maybe let's try.
• 15:19
  And we tried once and then there was May.
• 15:23
  So, so we got very lucky by all means, but very unexpected that
• 15:32
  that was going to happen so fast.
• 15:34
  So then we were like, well. OK, I there it.
• 15:37
  Is. I guess it was meant to be.
• 15:40
  No, I'm very similar like you. I think we look very young.
• 15:43
  So I think that that's been an advantage and I think that's
• 15:46
  been a disadvantage. I think that for me, you know,
• 15:52
  Sturgis and I have been together for a long time and we kind of
• 15:59
  were at the point where I knew I wanted a baby and he was like,
• 16:05
  whatever is meant to be is meant to be.
• 16:07
  And I thought, OK, I have to get off my bipolar medication in
• 16:12
  order to have a baby. So for me, I was like, if we're
• 16:15
  going to do this, I'm going to wean off.
• 16:17
  I'm going to do it gradually and then decide and then try.
• 16:21
  And whatever happens, happens. And if it doesn't work right
• 16:24
  away, then we'll reassess. Like whether that meant me
• 16:27
  getting back on medication and trying another time, you know,
• 16:33
  whether that meant me, you know, looking into, I don't know, IVF,
• 16:37
  I, I didn't know what was going to be the step, you know, right
• 16:40
  option, who knows, you know, who knows what would have a.
• 16:42
  Lot of things. There were a lot of options,
• 16:45
  yeah. And so for me, it was the same
• 16:47
  sort of thing. It was like 1 and done and like
• 16:49
  I got pregnant and I was like is this a joke?
• 16:52
  Like this happened this easily. Like I was told my whole life it
• 16:55
  would be really difficult and I like I'm so blessed but I'm also
• 16:59
  superstitious so I didn't tell anyone till about the third
• 17:03
  trimester. Even really close friends I
• 17:06
  didn't tell which is so. Weird to like be like, I'm a
• 17:11
  mom, I'm your mom. How?
• 17:15
  It's so bizarre. It's so bizarre.
• 17:17
  Like to be a mom, but it's like fun, you know?
• 17:22
  But so you're so. You're so you didn't take, did
• 17:25
  you take any time like after like which I think is so odd,
• 17:30
  especially in this industry. It's like we don't get like
• 17:32
  maternity leave. So did you just like, did you
• 17:36
  take any time like any conscious like break or like were was
• 17:43
  there at any point like during your pregnancy or after that you
• 17:46
  were like, I don't I can't audition right now or you were
• 17:49
  just like whatever. Because I was like, there were
• 17:52
  so limited auditions as it was. It's not like I was like, you
• 17:56
  know, auditioning all the time and everything was on zoom.
• 17:59
  And I remember there was 1 audition that I did and I met
• 18:03
  with a bunch of producers and was on a zoom and I was so
• 18:08
  pregnant. I was nine months pregnant.
• 18:11
  And they knew that I was pregnant at this point and they
• 18:15
  knew that I'd be able to shoot if I got it.
• 18:17
  And obviously didn't get it. But it was one of those things
• 18:19
  where I was just like, yeah, like it's meant to be, it's
• 18:23
  meant to be. But if not, it's just me doing
• 18:26
  muscle memory and like just doing an audition and like
• 18:30
  seeing what it's like. And I had a few auditions that I
• 18:33
  had to put on tape afterwards. Like probably I did a couple
• 18:37
  weeks postpartum. And it now looking back at it,
• 18:40
  I'm like, I don't know why I didn't just say like, I want a
• 18:43
  break. But I think I was so determined
• 18:46
  to be like, no, no, I can do it. I can do it.
• 18:48
  I can do it. And I remember there was a tape
• 18:52
  of my manager was like, you know, get to me when you can
• 18:55
  like no big deal. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I, I
• 18:57
  have a little thing that I have to do.
• 18:59
  And then, then I'm, I'll, I'll be fine.
• 19:01
  I'll get it to you by the end of the week.
• 19:03
  And I had a DNCI had to have a full operation, like full thing.
• 19:08
  And the next day I went and put myself on tape and like, I don't
• 19:12
  remember doing it. I don't remember how I And it
• 19:15
  was like one of those things where I'm like, I didn't let my
• 19:17
  body rest, you know, and I don't.
• 19:20
  And that to any mom, I, I think that it was just like that.
• 19:24
  I was so determined to not change who I was, you know, I
• 19:29
  was like, no, I'm the same. I'm OK, I can do it, you know,
• 19:33
  stupid. Wow, Yeah, I didn't take a
• 19:36
  conscious break either. You know, it's it's it is hard.
• 19:40
  Yeah. When you're like, well, there's
• 19:41
  not. I'm not being like, I'm not
• 19:43
  allowed to be like picky about. I think yes, exactly.
• 19:47
  If you're not on ATV show or if you're not in a film that's
• 19:50
  shooting like or at this like moment, right, Like you have no,
• 19:55
  you have no like. What is the word like?
• 19:57
  You have no right to be like in my mind, to be like.
• 20:00
  Oh no, I'm gonna pass on that, Sir.
• 20:02
  Right. Yeah.
• 20:03
  I should have, you know, but you know, and I'm thinking how can I
• 20:08
  go and shoot this movie if I like, I remember there's another
• 20:11
  movie I was up for and I was like, how could I possibly do
• 20:14
  this? The shoots in Toronto in a week.
• 20:16
  There's no way I can bring my two week postpartum baby with
• 20:20
  me. Like how am I doing this, you
• 20:22
  know? But it's like I was like, Oh no,
• 20:24
  I'll be fine. I'll figure it out which like
• 20:27
  you. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, how?
• 20:31
  Like how? Yeah, but it's like, I'm glad I
• 20:33
  didn't get these things. Like, you know, I was so happy
• 20:36
  that I had this moment with Lady to like, really be able to, you
• 20:40
  know, be there for her. But I, I have to say, like, I
• 20:44
  push myself way too much, way too fast.
• 20:47
  And, and I would not recommend that to any mom, even if I
• 20:50
  understand if you have to go back to work.
• 20:52
  But like, be a super conscious of, of knowing boundaries and
• 20:55
  stuff and really taking care of yourself.
• 20:57
  Yeah. It is.
• 20:58
  It is really hard, especially in this industry where it's like
• 21:02
  you feel like you only have, like you don't have those
• 21:05
  options and you don't have the time.
• 21:09
  Like, yeah, no, it's just, it's in.
• 21:13
  It's yeah. Oh yeah.
• 21:17
  But. And you had a you had a healthy
• 21:21
  birth. There was no like, scary birth
• 21:23
  story. Oh no, I did have a pretty
• 21:25
  traumatic. Oh, really?
• 21:27
  She came out what I was like. Her heart rate dropped from like
• 21:30
  160 to 40. Right.
• 21:32
  Like, let's get her out. And I was like, great.
• 21:35
  And she got, she came out, it was she's healthy.
• 21:40
  I just deal with now. My postpartum thing is like
• 21:44
  dealing with that. Like I wasn't, I feel like I
• 21:47
  wasn't there because they had to put me on.
• 21:50
  Sure, I was only on her for like 10 minutes, but then I didn't
• 21:54
  get, I didn't get the like out of me on to me.
• 21:58
  You didn't miss out. Let me tell you something.
• 22:01
  I am Digger. I am how many weeks before I am
• 22:07
  4 1/2 months postpartum and like I will tell the world I pee my
• 22:13
  pants everyday. So like I had such an overly
• 22:18
  like, like an insane moment of being in and out of the hospital
• 22:23
  after she was born because of like so many problems because I
• 22:29
  delivered vaginally and naturally and like TMI for
• 22:33
  people. But like I feel like people
• 22:35
  don't talk about this enough of now I have to go to pelvic floor
• 22:39
  therapy every week and. It's.
• 22:43
  Expensive and thank God my insurance covers it and these
• 22:46
  women are so wonderful that are helping me out.
• 22:49
  But it is like every single day now I have to have a diary of
• 22:52
  like how much water I drink. Why is my you know, pelvic floor
• 22:57
  like doing these exercise. It's non-stop.
• 23:00
  And this has been 4 1/2 months. So like every time in music
• 23:05
  class, like every time I stand up real fast definitely peed my
• 23:07
  pants. So just know that that's real
• 23:09
  fun. Like, so when I say is like own
• 23:13
  your birth story, your birth story is, excuse my French, like
• 23:19
  fucking awesome. Like it's what you own it.
• 23:23
  You did it. There is no difference between
• 23:26
  her coming out of me vaginally and her coming out of your
• 23:30
  stomach. Like it is all the same because
• 23:32
  you know what? Our babies are here.
• 23:34
  Like they, they experienced it. They're having a great time.
• 23:38
  They have no difference. I am telling you, her being on
• 23:43
  me, like doing the skin to skin was great.
• 23:46
  But let me tell you, I hemorrhaged so much afterwards
• 23:50
  that while we're doing skin to skin, I had 10 doctors that
• 23:54
  rushed in. What is your idea?
• 23:57
  OK, what does it actually look like?
• 23:58
  What is your like plan for if you do it, when you do it, and
• 24:02
  what does it actually look like? When you do, my plan is what it
• 24:06
  actually looks like. I just don't plan anymore.
• 24:08
  Like I just put it up in our nursery.
• 24:11
  We recorded and like, she's crying.
• 24:14
  She's crying. And that's what they get.
• 24:15
  Like, sorry. Like that's just the reality.
• 24:19
  You know, it's just the reality. And like, I've been very lucky
• 24:23
  because she is a good baby and will record it usually late at
• 24:28
  night, like right when she goes to bed, that's usually what
• 24:31
  happens. But, you know, it's kind of
• 24:34
  like, oh, is she quiet? Let's go and do it real fast.
• 24:38
  Yeah. Do you?
• 24:39
  Does Sturgis help you with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:43
  Sometimes my coach will help me and I'll go to her house.
• 24:45
  But but, you know, especially like during the pandemic and
• 24:50
  when I was pregnant, like I just usually just would do it at
• 24:52
  home. Yeah, yeah, that's always,
• 24:57
  always hard where it's like, yeah, we've started because
• 25:00
  she'll go down earlier and she sleeps through the night now.
• 25:03
  So I'm like, we'll just she. Does what time does she go to
• 25:07
  bed? She'll probably go to bed soon,
• 25:10
  like 7 or 8. Oh my God, And then she'll be
• 25:13
  out Till when? Seven.
• 25:16
  Yeah, she had. Go, baby.
• 25:17
  Did you sleep train her? We.
• 25:20
  We just did like a few nights ago and like the first night
• 25:27
  because we did the one where it's like you check on her in 3
• 25:30
  minutes, then five, then like it progressively gets longer but
• 25:34
  she like falls asleep after like she'll cry.
• 25:37
  What's it called? I want to Google.
• 25:39
  It the Ferber method. How do you spell that?
• 25:43
  FERBER. The Ferber method, yeah.
• 25:48
  So it's like you just it is hard.
• 25:50
  It's definitely not the cry it out method cuz I.
• 25:54
  No, I can't. I would never do that.
• 25:55
  It's so hard. No offense to any mom that does
• 25:58
  that. I can't I emotionally.
• 25:59
  That's the way to. My boobs start leaking and I the
• 26:03
  second she cries I can't like. Yeah, I mean, I feel like cry it
• 26:08
  out is like get it done. Like if you can't, if you just
• 26:12
  like have, don't have the patience to do it over like a
• 26:15
  few nights. But yeah.
• 26:17
  So we just did that a few nights ago.
• 26:19
  But she it's like you go in after like 3 minutes and you
• 26:24
  can't pick her up, but you're like, it's OK, we're here, we
• 26:28
  love you. Good night.
• 26:30
  And then you go in again. Like the whole thing is that you
• 26:33
  just once they're in bed for the night, they're in bed.
• 26:37
  Like you're not allowed to pick them up.
• 26:38
  And I was like, the first night we did it and I was like, I'm
• 26:40
  gonna throw up. Right, right.
• 26:43
  I. Was like she's crying and I'm
• 26:45
  not there. I'm and it was like the longest
• 26:48
  3 minutes and then after like 10 minutes though she was, she's
• 26:52
  gone, she's with your dad, I'm not leaving her and she's fine.
• 26:55
  I would say something that I swear by.
• 27:01
  I would say a couple things. Can I say a couple of things?
• 27:03
  Of course. OK, so first and foremost, it's
• 27:07
  not for everyone, but I ate my placenta.
• 27:11
  Oh. I in a pill form and it and I
• 27:14
  swear by that, I swear by this product and this is not me like
• 27:19
  Hawking this product. I just like I swear by this,
• 27:21
  this company, it's called Anya Anya and I actually interview
• 27:28
  the the owner of it there, the founder of its like a post part
• 27:32
  of a kit and they have Omega products, They have post post
• 27:38
  Natal products, hair serums is all like lactation teas.
• 27:43
  And it's just this brand that really curated so much stuff for
• 27:49
  me that I swear like these nutrients I was missing and I
• 27:52
  was so happy that I had them because I was so depleted with
• 27:55
  blood loss and all the stuff that I really believe that these
• 27:58
  nutrients help me so much kind of not get postpartum depression
• 28:03
  along with eating whatever my placenta.
• 28:06
  It's crazy as that sounds. Way you're I'm sure I am sure
• 28:11
  you are amongst a lot. I hope so.
• 28:13
  I'm like the Boo mom and I definitely she did it.
• 28:18
  Oh good. And then I would say for, for
• 28:23
  like lady in general, I, I think that there was nothing more
• 28:27
  calming then taking a moment of when she was super collicky
• 28:32
  because she was very collicky. We would put her in a bath and
• 28:37
  play her Disney lullabies and just kind of that was our reset
• 28:42
  is through water. I'm a firm believer that water
• 28:45
  is very healing for me. It's healing.
• 28:49
  I I like bath time is very important for me, like for my
• 28:52
  own self-care. And I truly believe that for
• 28:54
  herself care too. It's something that I swear by.
• 28:58
  Like, I know it sounds crazy. Like just put the baby in at the
• 29:02
  bathtub, you know, sit even if you don't sit in the bath with
• 29:06
  her, like, sit next to her. Like, yeah.
• 29:08
  And that was Mommy would recut with Alessandra Torresani.
• 29:13
  I love this episode because it's a reminder that motherhood
• 29:16
  doesn't suddenly make you feel confident.
• 29:19
  Sometimes it does the opposite. It makes you question
• 29:22
  everything, including your career, your body, your
• 29:25
  schedule, and whether you're doing any of it right.
• 29:28
  What helped us both was realizing we weren't the only
• 29:34
  ones feeling that way. And if you're a mom, an actor
• 29:39
  mom, or honestly, just a mom trying to hold on to a creative
• 29:43
  life, I hope this episode made you feel a little less alone.
• 29:48
  If you connected with it, send it to another mom.
• 29:50
  That's how Mommy would grows. One mom sharing it with another.
• 29:55
  Make sure you follow Mommy would on social media, Instagram, at
• 29:59
  Mommy would podcast. And leaving a review or a rating
• 30:03
  helps more than you know. So please do that if you haven't
• 30:06
  already. I appreciate it so much.
• 30:09
  And as always, thank you for being a part of Mommy would.