Latest / Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby / How to Not Overthink: A Former Monk's Tools for a Calm, Clear Mind | Sam Yo | Happiness | E525

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How to Not Overthink: A Former Monk's Tools for a Calm, Clear Mind | Sam Yo | Happiness | E525 · Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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Speaker 1: links to everything. All right, now, let's get into today's episode.
2:51
Speaker 3: We live in a world where we can upgrade everything.
2:54
Speaker 3: You know, we can upgrade our phones, we can upgrade
2:56
Speaker 3: our houses and our bodies. You know. We're not what
2:59
Speaker 3: you taught great our minds and you know, and that's
3:11
Speaker 3: I think that's why people a lot of time feel overwhelmed.
3:14
Speaker 1: On today's episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we are
3:18
Speaker 1: talking about that mental space where you feel like your
3:23
Speaker 1: brain will shut down. It's the overthinking, the overwhelm. All
3:28
Speaker 1: the tabs in your head being open at the same
3:30
Speaker 1: time the two am spiral, and what actually helps with
3:37
Speaker 1: that not just the generic breathe or you know, magic
3:41
Speaker 1: a beach, but real livable practices from someone who's lived
3:47
Speaker 1: on both sides of this coin, both the chaos of
3:51
Speaker 1: life but also the stillness.
3:54
Speaker 3: I think a lot of time, a lot of us
3:56
Speaker 3: will around with emotional disconnect. We try to hide we're
4:01
Speaker 3: kind of living life, but we're not really living in
4:03
Speaker 3: life until something tells us we need to.
4:06
Speaker 1: If you're new here, welcome to love, happiness and success.
4:10
Speaker 1: So much good stuff in store for you today. I'm
4:13
Speaker 1: doctor Lisa Marie Bobby, your host, and my guest today
4:16
Speaker 1: is such an expert on this topic. We're speaking to
4:19
Speaker 1: Sam Yo. He is the most fascinating person. He has
4:24
Speaker 1: lived a life that almost sounds like something out of
4:27
Speaker 1: a movie, and in fact he was an actor, a
4:30
Speaker 1: successful actor, before he walked away to enter a Buddhist
4:36
Speaker 1: monastery and cultivate this internal stillness. Today he's one of
4:41
Speaker 1: Peloton's most beloved instructors and author of a new book
4:45
Speaker 1: I am so fascinated by. It is called The Monk's Mindset,
4:50
Speaker 1: Finding Stillness in a world that won't stop moving. Sam, yeo,
5:05
Speaker 1: we have much to discuss. We do.
5:08
Speaker 3: Thank you invites being on your show that I really
5:10
Speaker 3: believe be forward to this well.
5:12
Speaker 1: I am as well, because I'm hoping that you can.
5:16
Speaker 1: I mean not asking for a friend here, of course,
5:19
Speaker 1: but I think it's just a common experience and one
5:22
Speaker 1: that I certainly have. Is just kind of running through
5:24
Speaker 1: the days and so much going on, and then these thoughts,
5:29
Speaker 1: memories or things that you're worried about. They creep into
5:32
Speaker 1: your mind during times when you should be still right
5:35
Speaker 1: your time to unwind, you're making dinner, hang out with
5:38
Speaker 1: your kids, or try to fall asleep at night, and
5:40
Speaker 1: it all comes crowding back.
5:44
Speaker 3: That experience, oh every day day. The difference now is
5:50
Speaker 3: that I'm more aware of when these things are happening.
5:55
Speaker 3: Like just go way back to before I was in
5:57
Speaker 3: the monastery, I was a performing the West End, so
6:00
Speaker 3: Broadway stuff, so so very fast pace, and my first
6:06
Speaker 3: job when I was twenty years old. So I went
6:09
Speaker 3: from training straight into the London's West End onto the
6:13
Speaker 3: London Lane, which is like one of the biggest stages
6:16
Speaker 3: in London, about two thousand people performing for as a
6:20
Speaker 3: twenty year old, So I kind of hopped on this
6:24
Speaker 3: roller coaster. It's entertaining on the coaster and on the outside,
6:28
Speaker 3: I seemed just very successful with a good job and
6:32
Speaker 3: I had good financial kind of foundation. For the first
6:34
Speaker 3: time in my life, I bought a fancy sports car.
6:37
Speaker 3: Of course, as a twenty year old man, you have.
6:41
Speaker 1: To it's a yeah.
6:44
Speaker 3: But I always found growing up there I had this
6:47
Speaker 3: disconnect within myself, and part of it was growing up
6:51
Speaker 3: first generation in London, not being quite part of the
6:54
Speaker 3: British culture of the Thai culture, to being in the
6:56
Speaker 3: middle and just navigating this line and trying to be
7:00
Speaker 3: the good son to my parents and live up to
7:03
Speaker 3: the expectations, and also trying to find myself in the world,
7:08
Speaker 3: which at the time kind of has perception of who
7:11
Speaker 3: I was. Already We're going into the entertainment industry, all
7:15
Speaker 3: these things already in the back of my mind. And
7:17
Speaker 3: with training as an actor and a dancer, they train
7:21
Speaker 3: you physically, but they entering you mentally. So when you're
7:26
Speaker 3: on the road cooaster, you don't know how to deal
7:28
Speaker 3: with yourself mentally. And I found myself just kind of
7:31
Speaker 3: spiraling and just going from place to place and flowing
7:34
Speaker 3: from place to place, and I did constant contracts. About
7:39
Speaker 3: three years I was on tour and there was this
7:43
Speaker 3: incident where I need to crash my car, my lovely
7:45
Speaker 3: sports car. Oh now, yeah, we've we've been out and
7:50
Speaker 3: having fun like you do. Is out with twenty three
7:51
Speaker 3: at the time, and the car really toppled over. And
7:55
Speaker 3: I remember turning the student gel to the left and
7:59
Speaker 3: if I turned to write the I would have gone over.
8:00
Speaker 3: But if I turned to the left, the car would
8:02
Speaker 3: have flooded down. And my INTI turned it to the left.
8:04
Speaker 3: So the car stopped and with a fud, and I
8:08
Speaker 3: just sat there and it just felt so uncomfortable. Not
8:14
Speaker 3: uncomfortable because I could have been horrific accident by uncomfortable
8:17
Speaker 3: because for the first time in my life, I was
8:20
Speaker 3: still and I was aware, I could feel aware, and
8:23
Speaker 3: my mind was just completely clear for the first time.
8:26
Speaker 3: And it felt so uncomfortable. And I realized that I
8:30
Speaker 3: had all these tabs, as you say, in my mind
8:33
Speaker 3: or opened up, and none of them were closing. I
8:35
Speaker 3: just kept adding more and more and more, and I
8:37
Speaker 3: knew I had to kind of start closing these tabs
8:39
Speaker 3: to kind of find my intailal self and I kind
8:43
Speaker 3: of left the contract two months after I didn't reknew
8:48
Speaker 3: and I was at the temple my mom on a Sunday.
8:52
Speaker 3: And this temple I had always gone to Sunday school
8:55
Speaker 3: as a kid, and I'd been dragged there as a kid,
8:58
Speaker 3: kicking and screaming because I wanted to be playing playing
9:00
Speaker 3: my friends playing football in the park. So every Sunday
9:03
Speaker 3: I'll be dragged there and I'll be told by monk.
9:05
Speaker 3: Some monks were my teachers. I always had this perception
9:08
Speaker 3: that if I had any questions or I needed to
9:12
Speaker 3: know something, I can always ask the monks. And I
9:14
Speaker 3: was standing at this pond where I'd fallen into as
9:18
Speaker 3: a kid when I was ten years old, and my
9:20
Speaker 3: blue wading and boots got stuck in the middle of
9:22
Speaker 3: the mind and I was stuck. I couldn't move, and
9:25
Speaker 3: I realized that same feeling just standing out on the
9:28
Speaker 3: Riverbanker's adult I was still stuck. I wasn't flowing to
9:31
Speaker 3: where I needed to be. And the monastery has always
9:34
Speaker 3: been a kind of a very clear, kind of serene
9:38
Speaker 3: place with me, and where I realized I did my
9:41
Speaker 3: most thinking and my most most of myself. I found
9:45
Speaker 3: myself there most of the time, And on the way
9:48
Speaker 3: back to my mom's house, I kind of turned to
9:51
Speaker 3: my set mom, I'm I'm gonna go back to Thailand
9:54
Speaker 3: and become a Buddhist monk. And she thought I was joking,
9:58
Speaker 3: Like she was like laughing, and it was so far
10:01
Speaker 3: from her mind that I would do this. It was
10:03
Speaker 3: easier for my my mom to conceive of me playing
10:07
Speaker 3: make believe as an act on stage than me being
10:10
Speaker 3: a spiritual mac And yeah, then that was the start
10:14
Speaker 3: of me kind of trying to find this in a
10:16
Speaker 3: piece and in the stillness that I could carry. And
10:19
Speaker 3: I think ten days later I was sitting alone in
10:22
Speaker 3: my monastery quarters just thinking, Oh my god, what I've done?
10:27
Speaker 1: What did they do? Yeah? Wow, what an interesting story.
10:34
Speaker 1: And so you're saying that there was just this like
10:38
Speaker 1: frenetic kind of energy with acting and all the things
10:41
Speaker 1: and success and the money in the car, and then
10:43
Speaker 1: you had this like app this like reality, almost a
10:47
Speaker 1: shock to the system, where there was a silence in
10:50
Speaker 1: the aftermath of a of a near car accident that
10:55
Speaker 1: kind of like shocked you out of the freneticness and
10:59
Speaker 1: brought you back into the present moment, And at that point,
11:02
Speaker 1: it sounds like you realized that you needed more of
11:05
Speaker 1: that stillness, that all of a sudden you saw the
11:08
Speaker 1: swirl around you in a different way, and that you
11:12
Speaker 1: had this almost this imprint, this muscle memory, the safe
11:16
Speaker 1: space that you had from childhood that provided that stillness,
11:23
Speaker 1: and you went back there to reclaim it for yourself
11:28
Speaker 1: and you did. Is that the right way to say it?
11:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, because there's a it's a temple in Wimbledon and
11:33
Speaker 3: it's like on these amazing grounds that it's our nature
11:36
Speaker 3: as well. So before I got to the riverbank, I
11:39
Speaker 3: just took a walk from nature and it's just so
11:41
Speaker 3: so refreshing. Yeah. But you know, you know at that
11:46
Speaker 3: moment in the car, for a lot of us who
11:51
Speaker 3: know that we need to do something, it's always there.
11:53
Speaker 3: It's always there ready, we know it already, and we
11:56
Speaker 3: know we need to do something, but it just takes
11:58
Speaker 3: some times a moment like this or something to happen
12:01
Speaker 3: to us to kind of realize, Okay, now a new
12:04
Speaker 3: eating needs to change with us. I'm going to go
12:05
Speaker 3: off the edge. And we live in a world where
12:08
Speaker 3: we can upgrade everything. We can upgrade our phones, we
12:11
Speaker 3: can upgrade our houses and our bodies that you know,
12:14
Speaker 3: we're not really taught how to upgrade our minds. Yeah,
12:17
Speaker 3: and that's I think that's why people a lot of
12:20
Speaker 3: time feel overwhelmed, even when life was fired because my
12:24
Speaker 3: family was crazy as a twenty year old actor coming
12:28
Speaker 3: straight out of training to get a job on the
12:31
Speaker 3: biggest stage in the West End, and then the second
12:34
Speaker 3: year I got a little part as well, so I
12:36
Speaker 3: got upgraded to a bigger part the second year and
12:39
Speaker 3: had my fancy car, and on the outside everything looked good,
12:41
Speaker 3: but in the inside it was just that emotional disconnect.
12:44
Speaker 3: I think a lot of time, a lot of us
12:46
Speaker 3: walk around with emotional disconnect that we try to hide.
12:49
Speaker 3: We're kind of living life, but we're not really living
12:52
Speaker 3: in life until something tells us we need to.
12:55
Speaker 1: Right. Well, that's a good point. I mean, as a therapist,
12:59
Speaker 1: I've worked with so many people and it's but it
13:02
Speaker 1: doesn't really quite hit them until there's a cancer scare
13:06
Speaker 1: or an illness, or a marriage on the break of
13:09
Speaker 1: divorce and they're like, oh, wait, I need to change something.
13:13
Speaker 1: May I ask? And if this is too overly personal
13:17
Speaker 1: of a question, you push back we'll go in a
13:20
Speaker 1: different direction. But I'm curious, what were you hoping would
13:27
Speaker 1: change for you as a result of walking away from
13:31
Speaker 1: what you'd started to build into then this unknown going
13:36
Speaker 1: into a monastery. What did you hope to have be
13:40
Speaker 1: different for yourself as a result of that.
13:43
Speaker 3: To be honest, I didn't have any hopes of expectation
13:46
Speaker 3: going into the monastery, or I knew I remember at
13:49
Speaker 3: the time was I needed to change my environment. That's
13:52
Speaker 3: the thing. And sometimes we're a slay to the environment
13:54
Speaker 3: we're in. We we're trying to change ourselves, but sometimes
13:57
Speaker 3: the environment around us is keeping us in that stay online.
14:02
Speaker 3: So for me, my main intention that time was to
14:05
Speaker 3: change my environment. I needed to change my environment. And
14:09
Speaker 3: sometimes people think going to the monastery it's a very
14:12
Speaker 3: peaceful place, but for someone twenty three at the time
14:17
Speaker 3: to sit alone with yourself and your thoughts for the
14:19
Speaker 3: very first time, it was a very loud place. For me,
14:23
Speaker 3: at least for the first six weeks. Was all I
14:26
Speaker 3: had my thoughts and these anxieties and these insecurities that
14:30
Speaker 3: I couldn't have any distractions, my phones, no going out
14:34
Speaker 3: to publicy, my friends. It was just a lot of
14:36
Speaker 3: the time seventy spent in solitude by myself, and spending
14:42
Speaker 3: time by yourself is a huge, huge teacher. It can
14:46
Speaker 3: teach you so much about yourself. But you know, after
14:49
Speaker 3: a while, what I realized in the monastery was you
14:52
Speaker 3: don't need to escape to find stillness. Stillness is something
14:55
Speaker 3: you learn to carry with you, and a lot of
14:58
Speaker 3: the stuff in the book is about that. How we
14:59
Speaker 3: can these moments of stillness with us in the chaos
15:02
Speaker 3: of the world that we are today. We don't need
15:04
Speaker 3: to upheave our life and kind of move to the
15:06
Speaker 3: monastery to find it down moments even that day we
15:09
Speaker 3: can build into our system and our structure, disrupting how
15:13
Speaker 3: we live daily.
15:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, let's talk more about that. So I hear
15:19
Speaker 1: you say that he became aware that to grow and
15:24
Speaker 1: to evolve in the direction that you wanted to, even
15:26
Speaker 1: if you didn't have like a specific hope, there was
15:29
Speaker 1: a recognition that the environment that you were in was
15:34
Speaker 1: not the right place for you, and you just needed
15:36
Speaker 1: to put yourself in a different place, and that when
15:40
Speaker 1: you did, it was not comfortable at first, the quietness
15:44
Speaker 1: of being alone with your own thoughts. And so you
15:47
Speaker 1: know what, let me actually ask you about this, because
15:49
Speaker 1: I really want to talk and hear more your thoughts
15:52
Speaker 1: about how to cultivate that stillness from within. I can't
15:56
Speaker 1: wait to hear about it. But I am also curious.
15:58
Speaker 1: I think that the sperience that you've had is so rare, honestly,
16:03
Speaker 1: at least in American culture. Maybe to have such an
16:07
Speaker 1: extended period of quietness of solitude. Take us some more
16:13
Speaker 1: into it, like what what was it? Not just, but
16:17
Speaker 1: what were some of the things that started to come
16:19
Speaker 1: together for you during that experience that wasn't accessible before
16:25
Speaker 1: In the swirl of all of the everything.
16:28
Speaker 3: I would say, looking back the person I was then,
16:32
Speaker 3: it wasn't. But probably now I needed it. I could
16:36
Speaker 3: because once you strip away everything or you left with
16:39
Speaker 3: a structure, and that's what I was missing, is was
16:43
Speaker 3: a certain structure. And to do that, I needed just
16:47
Speaker 3: to simplify anything. So my day would just be getting
16:51
Speaker 3: up at five in the morning, then going to the
16:53
Speaker 3: temple for the morning prayers, and then after that would
16:56
Speaker 3: go my arms round around the village and people give
16:59
Speaker 3: me food and I was blessed them for their day,
17:02
Speaker 3: and then come back eat and then afterwards we'll do
17:05
Speaker 3: chores and lessons, and then in the afternoon we'll meditate
17:10
Speaker 3: again in the temple in the halls, and that was it.
17:14
Speaker 3: That was basically what it is. And so what that
17:17
Speaker 3: gave me was a through line, a tavering point. So
17:21
Speaker 3: if I strayed away from it, I always had something
17:23
Speaker 3: to come back to. If I had straight away and
17:25
Speaker 3: did stuff during that day, which was very hectic, I
17:28
Speaker 3: always had this center to come back to. And what
17:31
Speaker 3: I was missing before that was having this tevering point,
17:34
Speaker 3: this north start of where I was moving. And then
17:39
Speaker 3: a lot of people kind of especially these days, don't
17:41
Speaker 3: have this teving point because we are so busy and
17:44
Speaker 3: everything is so instant these days. You don't celebrate the winds.
17:48
Speaker 3: Do a project for three weeks and you work so
17:50
Speaker 3: hard of it, it's done, and then you're aready moving
17:52
Speaker 3: on to the next one. You haven't celebrated what you
17:54
Speaker 3: just did there because you are ready think about the
17:56
Speaker 3: next thing. And then a lot of the time before
17:58
Speaker 3: the monastery, I was always kind of thing about the
18:00
Speaker 3: next thing, the next city, the next job, the next
18:04
Speaker 3: karaoke bar we got to go to, but never really
18:07
Speaker 3: being in the moment.
18:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, interesting, and so that there were these simple daily
18:15
Speaker 1: rhythms that there was like just an order to life
18:20
Speaker 1: that you found to be very grounding versus you know
18:24
Speaker 1: that what is the next thing? And you're right, I
18:27
Speaker 1: mean a lot of life can feel sort of chaotic
18:30
Speaker 1: and it's sort of different things every day. And is
18:33
Speaker 1: that a practice that you've maintained on the other side
18:36
Speaker 1: of this or that you now teaching your work is
18:39
Speaker 1: to find those daily rhythms.
18:42
Speaker 3: Yeah. I always have these little t having points in
18:44
Speaker 3: my day, and a lot of the time people think
18:48
Speaker 3: it's complicated to do these things, but you know you
18:51
Speaker 3: can have You can start with three I called the
18:53
Speaker 3: Monk mindset moments in your day. So in the morning,
18:56
Speaker 3: it's about intention. So you're setting your intention for the day.
19:00
Speaker 3: And I always to when I first wake up is
19:03
Speaker 3: not to move when I know I've woken up, or
19:06
Speaker 3: just breathe maybe five breaths, and within that breathing, I
19:09
Speaker 3: will set the intention how do I want to show
19:11
Speaker 3: up today? And those five breaths in the morning, that's
19:14
Speaker 3: when you're most clearest. That's when before the notifications and
19:18
Speaker 3: the algorithm and all the meetings and all the tabs
19:21
Speaker 3: are starting to open. Up, so you can kind of
19:23
Speaker 3: program and condition your mindset right from the very first breath.
19:28
Speaker 3: How do I want to show up today? And then
19:30
Speaker 3: in the afternoon when you're and she starts to drop,
19:33
Speaker 3: that's resets, okay, So how do I reset when I
19:36
Speaker 3: when I start to kind of slump down? People tend
19:40
Speaker 3: to go for the stimmers and get coffee. But there's
19:42
Speaker 3: other things do. There's movement, there's stretching, this there's just
19:45
Speaker 3: I call it creative, creative meditation. So I'm obsessed with Lego.
19:51
Speaker 3: So when I ever need to break from all these
19:53
Speaker 3: meetings I had and Zoom meetings and coaching in the studio,
19:57
Speaker 3: just to break from everything, I just open on the
19:59
Speaker 3: backs Lego. I'll just make legos. All I focus on
20:03
Speaker 3: is this one day, just to reset from whatever's out there.
20:07
Speaker 3: And I have like some many boxes of Lego around.
20:10
Speaker 3: You might.
20:13
Speaker 1: Star Wars figures, I love it anything.
20:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then in the evening is about In the evening,
20:19
Speaker 3: it's about reflection. Reflection is before you go go to sleep.
20:24
Speaker 3: A lot of people like to journal, but jointing puts
20:27
Speaker 3: a lot of people up because they think I'm going
20:28
Speaker 3: to sit now and you've got to write. They're over
20:31
Speaker 3: complicating it. We over complicate reflecting. So all you need
20:35
Speaker 3: to do is when you're brushing your teeth, you're already there.
20:37
Speaker 3: You brush your teeth every night, same thing. Reflect How
20:40
Speaker 3: did I shut today? How can I shut better tomorrow?
20:44
Speaker 3: That's it. Yeah, these things intention, reset and reflection, These
20:49
Speaker 3: small little points are already in your day, and these
20:52
Speaker 3: little things help ground yourself to whatever's happening. And you're
20:57
Speaker 3: not upheaving your life to achieve these things as well.
21:00
Speaker 1: What did you notice change within yourself? Or perhaps what
21:05
Speaker 1: have you seen change in the lived experience of other
21:10
Speaker 1: people when they start doing this on a daily basis.
21:13
Speaker 1: What does it do for someone?
21:15
Speaker 3: Oh, they become more present. We are very reactive creatures.
21:20
Speaker 3: We react quite a lot when you're reacting to a conversation,
21:24
Speaker 3: to an action that you're doing. We're not moving with
21:29
Speaker 3: intention throughout the day, and yet it goes when we're
21:33
Speaker 3: talking to people as well. What was amazing about being
21:36
Speaker 3: in the monastery was that for the first time in
21:38
Speaker 3: my life, I was around individuals who were listening, who
21:42
Speaker 3: was actively listening. Listening is such a skill, and they
21:45
Speaker 3: were actively listening. And at first it was very strange
21:50
Speaker 3: because I would talk and I would say things and
21:51
Speaker 3: they and my teacher example, he would just stop. He
21:54
Speaker 3: would just listen and look at me. And I was like, okay,
21:57
Speaker 3: well did I say something wrong? But he was just
21:59
Speaker 3: soaking it all then before he replied, and there was
22:03
Speaker 3: a thing in the in the book empty your cup.
22:07
Speaker 3: We always speak when a cup is full. So if
22:09
Speaker 3: our cup is full, we we can't no one else
22:11
Speaker 3: can refill it for us. So when you're in a conversation,
22:14
Speaker 3: empty your cup and allow the other persons to fill
22:16
Speaker 3: it up. And just had that image in your mind,
22:19
Speaker 3: like my cup is empty right now. I'm listening to you, Lisa,
22:22
Speaker 3: I'm listening to you, and you're bringing this cup. A
22:25
Speaker 3: lot of time in life we're waiting to waiting to
22:28
Speaker 3: respond instead of actively listening. And the one she was
22:33
Speaker 3: a huge huge shift as well, especially coming from the
22:37
Speaker 3: entertainment industry where the loudest voice is always kind of
22:40
Speaker 3: wants to be heard. And I was very much like
22:43
Speaker 3: that I needed to be I need to do this,
22:46
Speaker 3: so just being the complete opposite and just sitting and
22:48
Speaker 3: listening and allowing silence just to speak loud on the
22:52
Speaker 3: words sometimes because the science we affirms that, Okay, I'm
22:57
Speaker 3: listening to you, I'm connected to you, I am invested
22:59
Speaker 3: to you. Robin replying straight away, Yeah, wow.
23:06
Speaker 1: What a transformative experience, and especially being in the presence
23:12
Speaker 1: of people who are energetically showing up in this way
23:18
Speaker 1: and allowing you to be in relationship with them. I
23:23
Speaker 1: could understand how that in itself would have been transformative.
23:27
Speaker 1: Just you describe the experience of it being so different,
23:32
Speaker 1: but that these are the things that start to happen
23:35
Speaker 1: when you cultivate this internal stillness and this more really
23:40
Speaker 1: if this is a great word like just an intentional
23:43
Speaker 1: way of living, and that there's these like really beautiful moments.
23:51
Speaker 3: I do still, you know, I still I practice are
23:55
Speaker 3: listing in my job with Pelason so much as well.
23:58
Speaker 3: I'll do like a live session and that people from
24:00
Speaker 3: all around the world, they'll fly in to do this
24:02
Speaker 3: third de minto met But afterwards we have a meet
24:04
Speaker 3: and greet where I say, just after the class, right,
24:07
Speaker 3: we're gonna have a meet and greet. The line that
24:09
Speaker 3: goes slow because I'm probably gonna be talking and listening
24:12
Speaker 3: to you quite a lot. And that's actually what happens
24:14
Speaker 3: sometimes the meet and greets longer than the class because
24:17
Speaker 3: I'm actually listening. I want to hear people, and sometimes
24:21
Speaker 3: after the me and Greek line, I'm more tired that
24:23
Speaker 3: I am. I'm more tired than I was doing the
24:26
Speaker 3: physical class because I was actively listening to people. And
24:30
Speaker 3: job allows me to do these skills. I apprentices practiced
24:34
Speaker 3: as a monk, just in my job as a fitness coach.
24:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder if you have people flying in from
24:41
Speaker 1: all over the place actually to hang out and talk
24:44
Speaker 1: to you more than a class. That's just a suspicion
24:47
Speaker 1: after hanging out with you for a few minutes. Years.
24:49
Speaker 1: I am young, but we need to make a super
24:52
Speaker 1: a quick break. But on the other side, I'm wondering
24:55
Speaker 1: if you would be willing to take us and our
24:58
Speaker 1: friends here are listening today. It's even more of some
25:02
Speaker 1: of the strategies that you recommend in your book Night.
25:06
Speaker 1: I loved what you were talking about, like the setting,
25:09
Speaker 1: the intention, the resetting, and then the reflection, and I
25:14
Speaker 1: bet you have so many more that could help us
25:17
Speaker 1: all start to cultivate some of this stillness in our
25:20
Speaker 1: own lives.
25:21
Speaker 3: Is that okay, that'd be great. I'd be wonderful.
25:24
Speaker 1: Okay, time to talk about success. If you have a
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Speaker 1: at shopify dot com slash lhs. Go to shopify dot
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Speaker 1: com slash lhs. That is one last time is Shopify
28:06
Speaker 1: dot com slash lhs. So we're back with Sam Yeo,
28:18
Speaker 1: who is sharing about his life experiences and some of
28:23
Speaker 1: the practices that he teaches people, both through his coaching
28:27
Speaker 1: with Peloton and also through his new book, The Monk's Mindset,
28:32
Speaker 1: Finding stillness in a world that won't stop moving. So,
28:36
Speaker 1: just before we took the break, you promised and to
28:39
Speaker 1: take us more deeply into some of these practices and
28:42
Speaker 1: some of the I don't want to call them easy ways,
28:46
Speaker 1: because my hunch is that they're probably simple, probably not easy,
28:50
Speaker 1: but simple ways that we can begin to cultivate more
28:53
Speaker 1: of the stillness inside of ourselves. So one of the
28:57
Speaker 1: things I was going to say, somebody like me, it's
29:01
Speaker 1: like sort of phonetic chaos most of the time. Where
29:03
Speaker 1: do we even begin? Let's start there.
29:07
Speaker 3: It's one of the wonderful things about being the monastery
29:11
Speaker 3: was that we were always talk to them with kindness
29:15
Speaker 3: and compassion. That kind of compassion could be such a
29:19
Speaker 3: healing thing when you're around someone with that energy. Because
29:23
Speaker 3: as humans we're impacts as well. We draw the energy
29:28
Speaker 3: from the person in front of us. If you know
29:30
Speaker 3: the person's up, tired and angry, you already you do
29:32
Speaker 3: that as well. Yeah, if the calm or you see
29:35
Speaker 3: that they're very joyful, you reflect that. And I think
29:38
Speaker 3: a lot of that the environment and that people around
29:40
Speaker 3: helps us close some of those tabs as well, when
29:43
Speaker 3: we realize tabs don't need to be open, and a
29:46
Speaker 3: lot of these tabs are probably worries and anxiety and
29:51
Speaker 3: things that we can't control anyway. Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
29:56
Speaker 3: but there's one thing that we can control and that's
29:58
Speaker 3: kindness and compassion. My teacher example, he would always tell
30:03
Speaker 3: these fables about kindness compassion. And what I've done in
30:07
Speaker 3: my book is I've created this practice called I call
30:10
Speaker 3: it the ripple jar. It's a compassion jar. So it's
30:14
Speaker 3: a practice where you have a jar at home and
30:18
Speaker 3: whoever's living in the house, kids to the grandma, whenever
30:21
Speaker 3: you see or do an act of a kindness of compassion,
30:26
Speaker 3: whether it's like, oh, this guy was going to cut
30:28
Speaker 3: me up by I let them go in front of me.
30:30
Speaker 3: I was kind today, or you know, you've been a
30:32
Speaker 3: big compassionate to the barista who was slow with your
30:35
Speaker 3: order because there was a line of fifty people. So
30:39
Speaker 3: you just write things down and you put them in
30:41
Speaker 3: this jar. So what you do as a family or
30:45
Speaker 3: as a as a unit is a collect kindness compassion
30:48
Speaker 3: in this jar, and at the end of the week
30:50
Speaker 3: you just read them out. Because kindness compassion is contagious,
30:55
Speaker 3: and this is one of the practices I'm going to
30:57
Speaker 3: take on my book tour. So I'm going on the
30:59
Speaker 3: book tour and San Francisco, Denver, Chicago, DC, New York,
31:04
Speaker 3: and Boston. So in every city I'm going to get
31:08
Speaker 3: the people tending to write down an act of kindness
31:10
Speaker 3: compassion they've done or they're seen. And in every city,
31:14
Speaker 3: I'm going to write the kindest compa read out the
31:16
Speaker 3: kindness compassion. So I'm going to travel and spread kindness
31:20
Speaker 3: compassion across the US. Basically, I just hav moose jar.
31:24
Speaker 3: I hope it's going to make people feel a little
31:26
Speaker 3: more easy, a little a little less anxious.
31:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful. And you're saying that that this is
31:37
Speaker 1: by focusing on kindness and compassion, we can start to
31:41
Speaker 1: reset the internal chaos and cultivate some of that energy
31:47
Speaker 1: that you're talking about. And if you may do this now,
31:52
Speaker 1: like for the benefit of our friends who are are
31:54
Speaker 1: here with us, if we had an imaginary kindness and
31:58
Speaker 1: compassion jar, what would you incoura urage people to be
32:01
Speaker 1: to be thinking about if we all pretended to put
32:04
Speaker 1: something into the jar, so we can all do this
32:06
Speaker 1: with you right now? What when do we think about? So?
32:11
Speaker 3: I mean, if any of your listeners are getting anything
32:13
Speaker 3: out our conversation today, then well other kinds would be
32:16
Speaker 3: kind of just forwarding our chat to someone who they
32:19
Speaker 3: think that this might help in their day Okay, it's
32:21
Speaker 3: something simple that it allowed and a lot of time
32:25
Speaker 3: we think that we have to broadcast big, grand gestures.
32:29
Speaker 3: It's not that it's a small, tiny one to hold
32:32
Speaker 3: up the big ones. It's small, tiny habits. It's not
32:35
Speaker 3: the big goal at the end of the rainbow. It's
32:37
Speaker 3: a small, tiny habit that get us there. And this
32:40
Speaker 3: is just the same structure and the same discipline.
32:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you guys, so let's do this together. Let's
32:47
Speaker 1: all just think about something that you either have done
32:51
Speaker 1: today that was a small way of being of benefit,
32:55
Speaker 1: being kind, being of service to somebody else, even just
32:59
Speaker 1: being nice to a cashier the Starbucks or whatnot, or
33:03
Speaker 1: something that maybe if you haven't done yet, but that
33:07
Speaker 1: you could do. And we'll sort of mentally put that
33:10
Speaker 1: into the kindness and compassion jar and just recognizing that moment.
33:15
Speaker 1: What does that change for people? Samuel, And they just
33:18
Speaker 1: reflect on the kindness and compassion and make it a
33:22
Speaker 1: point to do it intentionally.
33:24
Speaker 3: So I think we asked as human beings. We are
33:28
Speaker 3: consistent with things when we're mostly connected to them, And
33:33
Speaker 3: a lot of people try and and live a lifestyle
33:36
Speaker 3: on motivation. But motivation is very temporary because it always changes,
33:42
Speaker 3: so it changes a way. But if we're mostly connected
33:45
Speaker 3: to something, then we're gonna be more consistent to do it.
33:48
Speaker 3: There was this study I heard on a Ted talk
33:52
Speaker 3: where the doctors and nurses every time they went into
33:55
Speaker 3: a room they had to sanitize their hands, so all
33:58
Speaker 3: the way they do it and on the way out
33:59
Speaker 3: they do so. At first they recorded only thirty percent
34:04
Speaker 3: of them did that when they saw their patients. Yeah,
34:09
Speaker 3: so what hospital did was to put up a counter
34:12
Speaker 3: so every time you sanitize, this council will go up
34:16
Speaker 3: so you can physically see it. So we went up
34:18
Speaker 3: to like ninety eight percent by the end of the
34:21
Speaker 3: second month, because you're mostly connected to something and you
34:24
Speaker 3: were all going for the same achievement and goal of
34:28
Speaker 3: being consistent for each other as well, and the same
34:30
Speaker 3: thing will work with kindness, compassion. If we don't see it,
34:33
Speaker 3: then we don't do it. But if we see someone
34:36
Speaker 3: opening the door for someone, it's it's kind of and
34:38
Speaker 3: I head, okay, I'll open the door for someone. It's
34:40
Speaker 3: there ready.
34:41
Speaker 1: Yeah. What I could see too that making it a
34:45
Speaker 1: point to engage in those behaviors and just starting like
34:48
Speaker 1: this ripple effect where it kindness begets kindness begets kindness.
34:52
Speaker 1: That it's sort of the emotional or energetic equivalent of
34:56
Speaker 1: being in a serene environment like I imagine, and you're
35:01
Speaker 1: the monastery to be that it is just a way
35:03
Speaker 1: of capturing that sort of peacefulness or lightness of being
35:08
Speaker 1: through a behavior. Isn't the right way to capture it.
35:15
Speaker 3: And think about the book and my my experience. I
35:20
Speaker 3: felt I had to kind of escape from my environment,
35:22
Speaker 3: but of course we can start to adapt on environment. Yeah,
35:28
Speaker 3: you don't have to live and become a monk to
35:31
Speaker 3: think like a monk. Basically, at moments, you comply with
35:35
Speaker 3: in your day. And the whole thing is that you don't,
35:38
Speaker 3: like I said before, you do not have to upheaven
35:39
Speaker 3: change your day. These things are already there, but we've
35:42
Speaker 3: just not seen them because we're just moving through a day.
35:46
Speaker 1: It's kind of like carry this with you inside of
35:50
Speaker 1: you wherever you go. Well, I mean you could could
35:53
Speaker 1: speak to this part as well. And I think it
35:55
Speaker 1: was a couple of minutes ago you were chatting and
35:58
Speaker 1: you made this offhand comment about how so often the
36:01
Speaker 1: things that we're worried about or thinking about or keeping
36:04
Speaker 1: us up at night. He said, it's not like you
36:06
Speaker 1: can control any of this stuff anyway. And when you
36:09
Speaker 1: said that, I was like, Oh, I need to go
36:10
Speaker 1: back and ask Sam more about that. Why you take
36:13
Speaker 1: us into that idea and some of the things that
36:16
Speaker 1: you've learned through your experience about the futility of trying
36:22
Speaker 1: to control everything and maybe what happens when you intentionally
36:26
Speaker 1: let go some of this stuff.
36:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when we feel like we get anxiety, anxiety
36:33
Speaker 3: isn't about what's happening. It's about and the need to
36:37
Speaker 3: control what's happening. And peace begins the moment you realize
36:41
Speaker 3: that most things that you're trying to control were never
36:45
Speaker 3: yours to begin with. Do you see what I mean?
36:48
Speaker 3: That were never asked to be And we try to
36:50
Speaker 3: control these things and pull these things in, We try
36:53
Speaker 3: and solve world problems that are happening, and then we
36:58
Speaker 3: start to get overwhelmed. But the things, those big problems
37:02
Speaker 3: and were never asked to be young with, and what
37:05
Speaker 3: we should focus on is the smaller ones around us.
37:07
Speaker 3: There is conflict in the world, and at the moment
37:10
Speaker 3: that conflict, it seems closer to us now that relationship
37:13
Speaker 3: took confict is closer to us, but it's always been there.
37:16
Speaker 3: But yet a lot of people don't resolve the small
37:18
Speaker 3: conflicts around in their environment. It's maybe like a relative
37:23
Speaker 3: that you had argument last Christmas or two Christmas ago
37:26
Speaker 3: and you start speaking ZI, or the conflict with your
37:29
Speaker 3: neighbor over the fence, or little things like that. We're
37:33
Speaker 3: trying to fix the big things. I start fixing the
37:36
Speaker 3: smaller things. I think that would help with a lot
37:39
Speaker 3: of our overthinking, a lot of our anxiety, and a
37:42
Speaker 3: lot of carrying this weight with us the whole time.
37:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so let me ask you about this part though.
37:50
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm curious to hear what how you would
37:54
Speaker 1: differentiate these things or if you do it all and so,
37:58
Speaker 1: both as a psychologist but also person in my own life,
38:02
Speaker 1: I think there is a difference between what I what
38:06
Speaker 1: I think of as being anxiety, which is rumination kind
38:11
Speaker 1: of overthinking about things that you can't control that are
38:15
Speaker 1: unlikely to happen x y Z, versus a what I
38:21
Speaker 1: think of is being a more healthy fear like this
38:24
Speaker 1: is on my mind because I probably do need to
38:27
Speaker 1: take action. I need to listen to this, I need
38:30
Speaker 1: to pay attention. I need it to motivate me to
38:32
Speaker 1: actually do something, because if I don't, there might be
38:36
Speaker 1: an adverse consequence. So it's sort of like that mobilizing
38:40
Speaker 1: energy versus paralyzing energy. I mean, what would a monk's
38:46
Speaker 1: mindset officionado say about that? Or from that perspective? Is
38:52
Speaker 1: it all the same?
38:55
Speaker 3: I mean things is that if you think about this way,
38:59
Speaker 3: all these anxiety and the thoughts that you're having thoughts,
39:05
Speaker 3: and we are not our thoughts. We're just a space
39:07
Speaker 3: that holds our thoughts and we have to be looking
39:09
Speaker 3: at like that. These thoughts are always passing. And what
39:14
Speaker 3: happens sometimes is that we hold onto these thoughts and
39:16
Speaker 3: we believe that this thought is my identity or this
39:20
Speaker 3: thought is going to define me. But the past, I'm
39:24
Speaker 3: not the same person I was ten years ago or
39:27
Speaker 3: twenty years ago, because my thoughts are different now. But
39:31
Speaker 3: we cling on to these things sometimes, and I think
39:33
Speaker 3: that's what it is as well, that we cling on
39:35
Speaker 3: to all lot of things that are not asked to
39:37
Speaker 3: cling to. It's detaching from these moments, you know, detach
39:43
Speaker 3: me from what we can't, like I say, physically or
39:46
Speaker 3: emotionally control in our lives, and yeah, it's a very
39:50
Speaker 3: hard thing to do, and that's with them Buddhism. You
39:52
Speaker 3: have meditation, a lot of big going meditation, and a
39:56
Speaker 3: lot of you think meditation is to clear your mind.
39:59
Speaker 3: Is not. If your mind is clear, then we'll be
40:02
Speaker 3: calling the ambulance right now, because there'll be nothing there.
40:05
Speaker 3: That's the thing. Meditation is to meet your mind and
40:08
Speaker 3: yourself where you are and to accept that. And once
40:12
Speaker 3: you accept that, then that's how you can move forward.
40:15
Speaker 3: And to any one listening to you can't sit their
40:18
Speaker 3: thoughts to meditate, and you can always just do breath work,
40:20
Speaker 3: just some breathing work, some very simple pattern breathing work,
40:24
Speaker 3: and just focusing on physical stations of your breath and
40:27
Speaker 3: it will draw you into the moment and it will
40:29
Speaker 3: just help some of these thoughts that are stuck just
40:33
Speaker 3: pass over your mind sometimes.
40:35
Speaker 1: Amazing, Well, how about this, I'm so struck by something
40:39
Speaker 1: you said that You were like, we're all a space
40:42
Speaker 1: that thoughts just passed through at any moment in time.
40:46
Speaker 1: We're sort of that our thoughts change, and as our
40:49
Speaker 1: thoughts change, so do we and that one way of
40:53
Speaker 1: accessing this different headspace is through physical activities like breathing
41:00
Speaker 1: on the other side of this next break? Would it
41:03
Speaker 1: be an overstep to ask you to walk us through
41:06
Speaker 1: one of those exercises?
41:08
Speaker 4: Oh?
41:09
Speaker 3: Now we can do Yeah, definitely, yes, Kevin, let's do that.
41:25
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41:28
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41:32
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43:56
Speaker 1: LHS So here we are back with my very special guest,
44:10
Speaker 1: Sam Yo, and he's sharing some of his insights and
44:14
Speaker 1: strategies from his new book, The Monk's Mindset, finding stillness
44:18
Speaker 1: in a world that won't stop moving. And just before
44:22
Speaker 1: the break, I put Sam, who is very sweet and accommodating,
44:26
Speaker 1: on the spot, asking him if he would actually walk
44:29
Speaker 1: all of us through one of these breathing exercises that
44:33
Speaker 1: can help ground us and start to cultivate the mindset
44:36
Speaker 1: that we've been talking about during our time together with him.
44:39
Speaker 1: Sore with kid.
44:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, at the end of my class is like we've
44:43
Speaker 3: just maybe done like an aerobic exercise and the heartway
44:47
Speaker 3: is always going up. So I always kind of finish
44:50
Speaker 3: my class with breathing and allow your breath to bring
44:53
Speaker 3: you back into the moment. Only in this moment can
44:56
Speaker 3: try set about how amazing you are. So that's one
44:58
Speaker 3: of the things I said in my class, and I
45:01
Speaker 3: called this the one breath commitment. So you can do
45:04
Speaker 3: a breathing pattern of four to six, so you're in
45:08
Speaker 3: health for four, you hold for two, and lean ex
45:11
Speaker 3: health for six. So imagine before a difficult conversation or
45:16
Speaker 3: this your line starting to negotiate about doing something. Just
45:20
Speaker 3: do this four to six breathing patterns. Some were in
45:24
Speaker 3: health for four, hold for two and ex health for six.
45:31
Speaker 3: Interesting in hull four, hold for two and ex heal for.
45:36
Speaker 1: Six And as you guys, you're doing this with me.
45:41
Speaker 3: If you haven't bring you Yeah, it's like I feel,
45:46
Speaker 3: I imagine like a feather and the breath is bringing.
45:51
Speaker 1: I do. I think, I feel calmer.
45:53
Speaker 3: This is good and like.
45:54
Speaker 1: Just as you were walking me through that, I definitely
45:56
Speaker 1: felt much more aware of just just like body. No.
46:00
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we're going along and having conversations like
46:03
Speaker 1: we're very much in our mind and that practice is
46:06
Speaker 1: like reconnecting with the.
46:08
Speaker 3: Physical physicizations like smell, touch and hearing to help us
46:13
Speaker 3: bring us back. When I was in the monastery, like
46:15
Speaker 3: I was like I struggled so much with sitting still
46:18
Speaker 3: and meditating. I would struggle so much. We'ld do it
46:22
Speaker 3: at the end of every lesson and would sit there
46:25
Speaker 3: and I'd be like looking at the time and this
46:28
Speaker 3: is like I couldn't My brain would just be ticking ticking,
46:31
Speaker 3: tickings and I couldn't see it still. Yeah, So what
46:35
Speaker 3: my teacher told me was like to do walking meditation
46:38
Speaker 3: because there was a courtyard outside. He said, all I
46:40
Speaker 3: want you to do is walk around the courtyard and
46:42
Speaker 3: there's only one thing you need to focus on, and
46:45
Speaker 3: that's a sensation with your feet hitting the ground and
46:48
Speaker 3: this sound. So I would do that and then after
46:53
Speaker 3: like a week of doing it, I could sit and meditate.
46:56
Speaker 1: No.
46:56
Speaker 3: Because for me, because I'm a very physical person, right,
46:59
Speaker 3: I studied answered the martial arts, I did all this athletics.
47:02
Speaker 3: I'm a very physical person, so I naturally have to move.
47:06
Speaker 3: The movement is a form of meditation as well. That's
47:09
Speaker 3: the thing, and exercises is one of the most mindful
47:12
Speaker 3: things you can do because when you're moving, that effort
47:17
Speaker 3: that brings you into the moment. So once you're in
47:19
Speaker 3: that effort, that breathing anchors you. And then once you
47:22
Speaker 3: get to a point where things get challenging or you
47:25
Speaker 3: start to fatigue, that point is your teacher that teaches you, Wow,
47:29
Speaker 3: where shn go, where you've been, and where you are
47:32
Speaker 3: in that moment. So that's why that's how I teach
47:36
Speaker 3: basically within my classes, within these principles. This is a
47:40
Speaker 3: physical act that we're doing, but it's a mindful practice
47:43
Speaker 3: at the same time.
47:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's encouraging and I appreciate that because I think
47:49
Speaker 1: for me too, just the thought of like sitting there
47:52
Speaker 1: and not doing anything. I mean, probably in the greater
47:55
Speaker 1: scheme of things, it would be very good for me,
47:57
Speaker 1: but it's like, oh, I don't want to do that,
47:59
Speaker 1: but they haven't avenue into mindfulness through activity, through exercise,
48:05
Speaker 1: through physical movement, like that feels more congruent. And I
48:09
Speaker 1: think part of my takeaway perhaps, I mean, you tell me,
48:12
Speaker 1: but it's almost to think about what is the easiest,
48:16
Speaker 1: your most congruent pathway for you to begin this. And
48:19
Speaker 1: maybe for some people it's exercise. For some well, let
48:22
Speaker 1: me just ask, is that what the lego thing is
48:24
Speaker 1: about for you? Is that like a meditative practice when
48:27
Speaker 1: you're doing lego?
48:29
Speaker 3: The lego is creative meditation, Okay. And it's like people
48:33
Speaker 3: love what's to sew and stitch? Yeah, it's just a
48:39
Speaker 3: very methative thing because you're seeing it unravel in front
48:43
Speaker 3: of your eyes in this some sort of satisfaction and
48:48
Speaker 3: calmness to it. But yeah, that's why people love sewing
48:52
Speaker 3: and people can people love running. Running is a huge
48:57
Speaker 3: form of moving meditation because all you have is movement
49:02
Speaker 3: and your breath. That's it.
49:05
Speaker 1: I'm imagining you probably apply so many different I mean,
49:08
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about cooking or sweeping the floor. I mean
49:12
Speaker 1: really anything that we do to come back into the.
49:17
Speaker 3: One of my chores was weep in the courtyard. I
49:18
Speaker 3: used to really enjoy it. I used to enjoy it
49:22
Speaker 3: because all you do is sweep. It sounds such a
49:24
Speaker 3: very simple thing. Like even now I have I have
49:28
Speaker 3: this sweeping brush and I have like a dys and
49:31
Speaker 3: hoover thing, but I still k use the sweeping brush
49:33
Speaker 3: to clean the floor because it just gives me. I
49:36
Speaker 3: don't know, that flow state and the breathing and the movement,
49:39
Speaker 3: it just works together. And all I have to think
49:42
Speaker 3: it is one thing. Imagine that just at the moment,
49:46
Speaker 3: you think about so many things, but just to have
49:49
Speaker 3: the privilege of focus on just one thing for seven
49:53
Speaker 3: that's that's that's self kept and as high as the form.
49:58
Speaker 1: You know, brother, I'm just connecting some dust here as
50:00
Speaker 1: we're talking. Right now, as we're chatting, I was thinking
50:03
Speaker 1: about how sometimes and I'm feeling especially frenetic, just like
50:07
Speaker 1: straightening up, like cleaning the house, putting things away, sweeping,
50:11
Speaker 1: cleaning off the counters, whatever it is that that practice
50:16
Speaker 1: itself is so grounding, and now as I'm thinking about
50:19
Speaker 1: it with you, that maybe even that is sort of
50:21
Speaker 1: a meditative kind of space. Are there strategies like if
50:25
Speaker 1: somebody wanted to experiment with this in their own life
50:29
Speaker 1: to something that they habitually do that might be relatively
50:32
Speaker 1: easy to lift and shift into a meditative practice, like
50:37
Speaker 1: your teacher gave you a recommendation like I just want
50:39
Speaker 1: you to notice what it feels like to put your
50:42
Speaker 1: feet on the ground one after the other. Are there
50:45
Speaker 1: any recommendations you have to turn any of our simple
50:48
Speaker 1: daily practices into these meditative moments that can help us
50:53
Speaker 1: cultivate the kind of stillness you talk about in your book.
50:56
Speaker 3: So, one very simple thing that we your day is
51:00
Speaker 3: just washing up, just to feel the wilter on your
51:03
Speaker 3: hands as you're washing up, and just focusing on that
51:06
Speaker 3: and that sensation. Because when we wash up, we want
51:09
Speaker 3: to do clearly, but there's a moment there where where
51:11
Speaker 3: you or your job is just to clean the dishes.
51:14
Speaker 3: So you have all these opportunities to bringing all these
51:17
Speaker 3: sensations to bring into the moment and washing up as
51:21
Speaker 3: well as what I do. I have a dishwasher, I
51:23
Speaker 3: hardly use it as well, but but that's something you
51:27
Speaker 3: can do as well.
51:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
51:31
Speaker 3: What else is that there's there's some moments. Yeah, there's
51:35
Speaker 3: suddenly moments in your day. Like you said that you're
51:38
Speaker 3: organizing is part of part of you you mentally controlling
51:43
Speaker 3: things because we internally we reflect our external environment. So
51:49
Speaker 3: if our environment is messy, here was gonna be messy.
51:52
Speaker 1: M hm.
51:53
Speaker 3: And that set that I talked was talked about earlier.
51:56
Speaker 3: That recent in the middle of day can just be
51:58
Speaker 3: simply arranging stuff on your desk or just closing the
52:02
Speaker 3: tabs on your laptop that you don't use. That can
52:06
Speaker 3: be a part of the reasons because all those tabs
52:09
Speaker 3: I gotta.
52:12
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I know, yeah, oh, but that's good cultivating
52:18
Speaker 4: order and your physical reality is also perhaps cultivating mental
52:22
Speaker 4: order and calmness as well.
52:24
Speaker 1: And that it's just such an accessible way to move
52:27
Speaker 1: into it.
52:28
Speaker 3: And another thing we can do about is what what
52:33
Speaker 3: I love is when we have our coffee or tea
52:35
Speaker 3: in the morning or in the evening and we hold
52:38
Speaker 3: the mug, it's just to feel the warmth of the
52:41
Speaker 3: mug station, that warmth of the mug. And in my book,
52:45
Speaker 3: I say about gratitude is such a fuel for life,
52:49
Speaker 3: but we seldom tap into gratitude because we feel like
52:53
Speaker 3: we have to write whole lists of it at the
52:54
Speaker 3: end of the day. But it's not just injector the
52:57
Speaker 3: moment of gratitude every time you hold that warmth mark,
53:00
Speaker 3: whether it's for the coffee in there, whether it's for
53:03
Speaker 3: your kids running around, whether it's all the job you're
53:06
Speaker 3: going to do. Just inject those moments of gratitude and
53:09
Speaker 3: associate it and draw it into that moment when you're
53:12
Speaker 3: just holding that glass, that that cut and it will
53:17
Speaker 3: just shift how you move throughout the day as well.
53:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful looking for these anchors, almost a physical anchor,
53:29
Speaker 1: and then to bring gratitude or a kindness appreciation into
53:33
Speaker 1: those moments like it really transforms the experience.
53:38
Speaker 3: Yeah.
53:40
Speaker 1: So this has been such a beautiful conversation and I
53:45
Speaker 1: appreciate your time, and I'm wondering if we could end,
53:48
Speaker 1: And I don't want to put you on the spot,
53:51
Speaker 1: but I'm curious, but you've talked a number of times.
53:55
Speaker 1: You're a conversation today with such gratitude for your teacher.
53:59
Speaker 1: I think you said it's day it was John Paul.
54:01
Speaker 1: Was that right?
54:02
Speaker 3: So John John means teacher Paul is yeah, yeah.
54:06
Speaker 1: Oh okay, sorry, I think I angled an anglicanized that.
54:11
Speaker 1: I think in my mind it turned into John Paul.
54:16
Speaker 1: Well and so. And I'm sure you go into a
54:18
Speaker 1: number of these stories in your book, The Monk's Mindset,
54:22
Speaker 1: But I'm wondering if you would be willing to share
54:25
Speaker 1: the favorite stories you have, maybe that your teacher shared
54:29
Speaker 1: with you that was particularly meaningful to you on your
54:32
Speaker 1: own journey, that that our friends here with us today
54:36
Speaker 1: might might take along with them.
54:38
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so many. I mean there was some other
54:41
Speaker 3: stuff that he actually said to me, like with in
54:43
Speaker 3: a sentence that taught me so much. I think within
54:46
Speaker 3: the first week when I was a monk and I
54:49
Speaker 3: was still struggling with my environment. And sometimes we can
54:52
Speaker 3: struggle your environment. The environment fights back at you. And
54:56
Speaker 3: when we go out on our arms round we have
54:58
Speaker 3: to be barefooted, so walking through the streets and stuff barefooted.
55:02
Speaker 3: And there was a day where I literally cut my
55:06
Speaker 3: my my toe and a bit of glass and a look,
55:08
Speaker 3: bit glass, it's stuck in my toe and I was like,
55:11
Speaker 3: I'm freaking out. I was like, this is a sign
55:13
Speaker 3: from the universe that I'm not meant to be here.
55:15
Speaker 3: And I went back to the temple and someone helped
55:19
Speaker 3: me cleaned up. And after I got cleaned up, I
55:21
Speaker 3: went straight to a John's quarters just to see him.
55:25
Speaker 3: I said, don't look, I've cut my foot and can
55:28
Speaker 3: I tomorrow go out in slippers? And he looked at
55:31
Speaker 3: me healing. I said, yeah, we're here. I said, So,
55:35
Speaker 3: why do you want to go out with slippers tomorrow?
55:38
Speaker 3: I said, because I will. I'll cut my foot again.
55:42
Speaker 3: He said to me, tomorrow, take a different path to
55:44
Speaker 3: get to the same destination. Okay, because sometimes we're stuck
55:49
Speaker 3: in this. This in a straight line. But life is
55:52
Speaker 3: never a straight light. And that's why I've got from
55:55
Speaker 3: Life is never straight line. And that's the beauty of life.
55:57
Speaker 3: It's a puzzle. And we start build this puzzle. We
56:00
Speaker 3: start with the frames, don't we We start with the frame,
56:04
Speaker 3: and then we go through life and these experiences finding
56:07
Speaker 3: these pieces and putting the pieces in, and sometimes the
56:10
Speaker 3: pieces don't fit even how much you twist and turn.
56:12
Speaker 3: Sometimes the pieces have dropped underneath the table and you
56:16
Speaker 3: just look a little hard and deeper for them, and
56:18
Speaker 3: by the end of it, the picture of the puzzle
56:20
Speaker 3: is never the picture you thought it was. It's something
56:23
Speaker 3: beautiful because of all these experiences that you've placed into
56:26
Speaker 3: it in taking different paths when you needed to and
56:29
Speaker 3: not being stuck out. So you know, that's that's one
56:33
Speaker 3: of the things that really stuck with me. And whenever
56:36
Speaker 3: I get into a challenge or I'm working for something
56:40
Speaker 3: and what I thought was going to happen didn't work out.
56:44
Speaker 3: But that's always a teaching moment, isn't it. We know,
56:48
Speaker 3: you know, rejection is redirection sometimes and that's what we
56:51
Speaker 3: got to think about. So if anyone listening, if you're
56:55
Speaker 3: at this warmer moments, Okay, this is a teaching moment,
56:58
Speaker 3: take a different path to get to a need to go.
57:03
Speaker 1: That's really beautiful and so empowering because I think that's
57:08
Speaker 1: such a common reaction to be sad or upset or
57:12
Speaker 1: angered by the injury, whatever it was, cutting your toe
57:17
Speaker 1: on the glass, whatever it is, it is as a
57:19
Speaker 1: metaphor for so many of the things that we bump
57:21
Speaker 1: into in life that hurt us. Right, But what you're
57:24
Speaker 1: saying is like to notice that and even dare I say,
57:28
Speaker 1: I mean gratitude and appreciation for like, Okay, thank you
57:32
Speaker 1: for telling me like this is not actually the right
57:35
Speaker 1: or the best way maybe for me to approach the situation.
57:40
Speaker 1: And I have the agency to take a different path,
57:44
Speaker 1: but like to pay attention to the pain and to
57:47
Speaker 1: use it to redirect yourself in a different way and
57:53
Speaker 1: to practice that that flexibility in life.
57:56
Speaker 3: If that's it, I was acting to a situation. Yeah, things.
58:00
Speaker 3: Can you react to a situation you don't see the situation?
58:03
Speaker 3: You don't you can't step back from it and see
58:04
Speaker 3: it from a bigger picture. Yeah, Sometimes taking these moments,
58:08
Speaker 3: even before you react to something you're going to say
58:12
Speaker 3: to someone that's there probably maybe said something harsh to you,
58:16
Speaker 3: you preate this moment where you you you either meet
58:19
Speaker 3: them with reaction or take a moment and meet them
58:22
Speaker 3: with intention. Yeah, and that's that's in the book I say,
58:25
Speaker 3: as well as when you feel these moments, just ask yourself,
58:30
Speaker 3: is it? Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
58:33
Speaker 3: These three weeks before you react, before you post something
58:36
Speaker 3: late night on social media ranting about something, is it true? Kind?
58:41
Speaker 3: Is necessary? Just those three things and that would change everything.
58:45
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, is it true? Is it kind? Is
58:50
Speaker 1: it necessary? Yeah? Those are good words to live by. Samuel.
58:57
Speaker 1: It has been such a pleasure visiting with you today
58:59
Speaker 1: and and thank you so much on behalf of me
59:02
Speaker 1: and also our friends you're with us today just for
59:04
Speaker 1: sharing so much about your life experience and your wisdom
59:10
Speaker 1: and even just a few of the things that you
59:12
Speaker 1: put into your book, The Monk's Mindset, Finding Stillness in
59:16
Speaker 1: a World that won't stop moving. I'm sure there's so
59:20
Speaker 1: much more packed into that book, but thank you for
59:23
Speaker 1: just giving us a taste of it today. This was
59:25
Speaker 1: a real pleasure.
59:27
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you my pleasure as well. I'm really happy
59:29
Speaker 3: to have spoken to you today.
59:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was fun. And very lastly, if people wanted
59:34
Speaker 1: to learn more about you your work, hop on some
59:37
Speaker 1: of your classes with you so that we've been talking
59:39
Speaker 1: about the book. But are there other ways that people
59:41
Speaker 1: could connect.
59:42
Speaker 3: With you, Yes, so on my Instagram is yo i
59:46
Speaker 3: am Samyo is my Instagram or they want to kick me?
59:49
Speaker 3: And I'm always trying to post ring mindful things as
59:51
Speaker 3: well and things that people can take away in their day.
59:56
Speaker 3: And I'm on heloton as well, so I'm a coach
59:58
Speaker 3: for Pelotons. If any be abody out there who haven't
1:00:01
Speaker 3: done my pats and classes yet, I'd love to see
1:00:03
Speaker 3: you there. But I'll be also going on a book
1:00:06
Speaker 3: tour across the US, which I'm very excited about. It
1:00:09
Speaker 3: starts in fifteenth of May, so it'start new in New York,
1:00:16
Speaker 3: San Francisco, Chicago, Denver, Boston, DC. I'm looking forward to
1:00:22
Speaker 3: visiting AUV cities and eating at the best restaurant. So
1:00:25
Speaker 3: you've got any restaurant recommendations aware to eat in these cities,
1:00:28
Speaker 3: let you know as well.
1:00:30
Speaker 1: Okay, and I'm based in Colorado, so I'll have to
1:00:33
Speaker 1: give you this scoop in Denver. Maybe I'll come and
1:00:36
Speaker 1: try to see you in person while you're passing. That's fun,
1:00:40
Speaker 1: all right, you guys. Well, thank you. You know where
1:00:42
Speaker 1: to connect with Sam Yo and Sam thanks again for
1:00:45
Speaker 1: your time today.
1:00:46
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.