Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Wholehearted Marriage | Guest Christa Hardin Enneagram Seven

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Wholehearted Marriage | Guest Christa Hardin Enneagram Seven · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: An actual female who is an eight who is the lead.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get to see that a lot.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, Yes, we got a strong female who can take care of herself.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in that way, model to us who have grown up under the purity culture of being demure and just kind of letting a male fully rescue you to be able to say, like, let's do this together, you know.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that we're seeing some more of that in the movies these days.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Hello and welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, your wholehearted living coach.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm so glad that you stopped by to spend some time with me.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Are you curious about the Enneagram?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to learn biblical truths?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: And have you wondered if there are life rhythms that will help you thrive?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, friend, you are in the right place.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: For six years, this podcast has focused on sharing conversations with my friends about life, business, motherhood, faith, and all things Enneagram from a Christian perspective.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: I truly understand what it's like to juggle everything as a wife, mom to three teenagers, a pub, and all while building a growing business.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: But still, the Lord has taken my broken-hearted pieces and healed them so I can live with whole-hearted rhythm to provide women like you with a step-by-step process so you can get free of anxiety, shame, and frustrations that might be holding you back from thriving.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: I pray that the Lord speaks to you as you listen today and that you would invite your friends and family to join the fun conversations.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: Are you ready to laugh a little and learn a whole lot?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Alrighty, let's get to the conversation.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Hey friend, today to continue our whole-hearted relationship series, I thought it would be fun to do something a little bit different for the Valentine's Day holiday.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: This idea sparked because Krista Harden, as in Krista from Enneagram and Marriage, and I did a podcast last year at the end of the year for the holidays for her show, the Enneagram and Marriage Podcast.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: We did a super lighthearted, spontaneous, off-the-cuff episode about a couple of our favorite Christmas movies.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: It was so fun.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, we were going to find a way to do this more often.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I felt like we needed to have a little bit of lighthearted fun and celebration this year during this serious month of love and talk about a couple of our favorite romantic comedies.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I went through all my top favorites, and I don't know if it's a seven thing or just a me thing, but I have a lot of favorite movies.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I have a top 10 probably for Christmas, a top 10 for Valentine's, a top 10 for, you know, British films.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: I could spend all day talking about my favorites, but it was a tough decision.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I picked two to talk about with Krista today.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: So we are going to chat about a movie that came out maybe, I don't know, 2005.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to totally botch this up, but the movie Hitch starring Will Smith was something I got to see in the theaters.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: It caused me a lot of laughing out loud moments.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's one that I enjoy watching again and again.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: And one that came out a little bit before that one is My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness, these two I just thought were perfect to help us giggle and laugh and just enjoy some lighthearted, loving fun this month as we talk about whole-hearted relationships.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Now, forewarning with this episode.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Or just plan on cueing those up after you listen to this episode.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Also, as it always is when we talk about movies here from an Enneagram perspective, the typing process is far from perfect.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: Ultimately, you're just watching some actors on a screen perform some limes with feeling behind it that are very nuanced and layered.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: You can't possibly know their core motivation.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Now, there are some ways to kind of guess with a very educated perspective on what maybe their personality they're trying to convey through their lines and through their actions, but ultimately it is far from perfect.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: But I do think that there's some powerful takeaways that Krista and I gave you to add to your compassion toolbox.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Now, since Krista and I are both seasoned podcasters, we really do a good job explaining as we go.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: So let's dive right in to this conversation.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I love your whole like, let's bring joy because this world is dark in this time of year.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: We're just muddling through, the days are darker.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: We need some lighthearted fun.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, Valentine's Day is it can be fun, but it also can be a mixed back because with every kind of holiday out there, there are expectations, and most likely those expectations may not be met.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: So exactly.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I just thought it would be so fun to have a conversation with you because well, my friends know you, they've gotten to hear lots from you over our years of friendship now.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so happy to say yours.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I know.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: It is, it's super fun.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I wanted to make sure my friends know that if you end up enjoying this episode and this is like exactly what the doctor ordered: laughter, silliness, two sevens talking about fun movies.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Then you'll have to check out the link in the show notes because Chris and I had a conversation right before Christmas on her Enneagramma Marriage podcast about a couple of our favorite Christmas movies.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: It was so good.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was so much fun.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: It was.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: I laughed all about it and made sure I told everyone I could of like, hey, you've got to, you gotta hear this one.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about Elf and while you were sleeping.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Those are two of the quintessential movies we have to cover every holiday.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: I just felt like it was one of those my whole life has added up to this moment of time of getting to talk about a movie I watched way too much.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I know, but you made me like recreated elf for me too, to where I was like, oh my gosh, like you just made it 10 times better in the mashed potatoes comment from while you were sleeping.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, right.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: I really had fun sprinkling a couple of my fun favorite movie lines in the fiction pieces that I wrote recently because you just gotta give a nod, right?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to read your fiction too.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: Someday, someday.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: For now, you get to listen to them in my podcast every once in a while.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: But so fun.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: I uh so I'm what I'm excited about is it's two movies.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: You and I got to chat about what they were ahead of time, but we've not done any like pre-vetting of what Enneagram types we think these characters are.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: But um, but honestly, here's here's the thing.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we've had this disclaimer before, it's important to say again, but when you're having a fun, a fun, be clear, it's a fun conversation using characters in a movie.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: This is very limited on what kind of Enneagram self-awareness benefit this can be.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we can have our aha moments when we watch a good movie.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's been plenty of them for me over the years of whether it's seeing yourself in a character or seeing a decision play out, or you know, what have you.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, these movies may not give that, it's more about the hilarity and the relational dynamics, which is why we're focusing on them because you're our Enneagram and marriage expert.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're so sweet.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you are too.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: You have such a gift for relational work and you bring your huge heart.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I am very excited to hear about your thoughts on these episodes.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, like everyone in our audience here, your audience has been so well educated by you that they know these people have more than one type.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in the audience thinking like, you guys got it wrong, they're this type, like we understand that there's multi-dimensions to them, and that's the beautiful thing is that this is a fun process of just naming one of their features.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: I even sometimes pull out quotes, and admittedly, as I watched it, there were so many good quotes.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, if I focus our conversation on that, it's gonna be ridiculous.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe if I'm on top of it, you'll see some in social media just to have fun with it.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Aw, yay! I love that.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, so people can share quotes with you too, probably.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is just a fun way to explore love when the audience kind of gives some feedback too.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh, 100%.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: It makes for such fun conversation.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: And this is why we're doing this, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: We don't really enjoy listening to ourselves as we edit our podcasts or replay them.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's about you know, beginning that conversation with everyone who listens.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm with you.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love the DMs conversation and I know you do too.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I do.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: I love being in there and hearing people's stories.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I give end up giving free coaching advice.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: So you just never know.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: They catch you at the right moment.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's right.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so if I have a little window of time and they have a question I can answer, I love to just, you know, hey, here either this is the resource or in a nutshell, that sort of thing.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: So um, and especially on voice message, I love the voice memo option on the direct messages, it is super helpful.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really is.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And people love your voice, Amy.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love your voice.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I get to hear it, I'm so calmed.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am grateful.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things I do want to say too, for those of you, if this is maybe one of the first times you've listened to the Simply Wholehearted podcast, or you've not met Krista before, who's known as Enneagram and Marriage.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: And again, we'll put all the links.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things that you might want to check out is that Krista and a few other well-known Enneagram experts have given teaching specifically about Enneagram and marriage.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: I normally love to give deep dives and teaching and things like this on the podcast, but every once in a while, I've got to use my seven and bring fun.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: So this is really, again, lighthearted and fun, but you can do a couple things, check out the summit where you can see what marriage speakers there are and if it's worth getting those.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Probably there's like 10 teachings specifically about marriage and so many more about relationships.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: But then obviously, um, and Krista's gonna get to share about this later, but Krista has loads of resources for those who are looking for Enneagram help with their marriage specifically.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: So just wanted to make sure everyone here hears that.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they need to know about all the wonderful experts that you've had at the summit.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: I loved the talk with Suzanne's to be all and you have had such an array of people just gift us with lifelong lessons.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: For such a minimal investment, it's really fabulous.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can take a moment like doing therapy right there.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's right.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, the first movie that I'm so excited to talk about, it's both of these.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_02: These are oldies, quote unquote oldies, but goodies.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: No actual classics here.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, they're in the aughts at some point, early aughts.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: The first one is Hitch, and this has Will Smith as one of the main stars, and it's a comedy.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: I laugh out loud.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have snorted while I've watched it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: I have several favorite scenes, so many great quotable.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we'll have to talk about some of them, but um, we're gonna get to touch on this, and we're just gonna talk about four characters in particular.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of different characters in this one, but I thought it would be fun to talk about the two main romances that kind of get to play out simultaneously in a fun way.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm ready to dive in.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: How about you?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yay! I am too.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think like this is a movie that you've re-awakened me to.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm very curious to hear your thoughts on this one.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the other one is like my bread and butter.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I can't wait to delve in on both.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and another disclaimer, I will say both of these movies may have moral values that don't necessarily align with Krista and I and how we would uh recommend and coach you to live out a romantic relationship.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: But, you know, it's a movie, it's Hollywood.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: We just, you know, you have to expect something.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, but both of them are pretty safe for the, you know, if you have young teenagers and above the whole family in that way could watch them.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So good, good caveat, yes.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: The first person that I'd love to talk about, and I'm just coming in fresh, having re-watched it, even though I've watched it multiple times, Alex Hitchinsons, who's known as Hitch, he's the main character played by Will Smith.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he's quite the character, and I have all sorts of thoughts about what type he could be, but I'm gonna put you on the spot and ask what you think.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I'm gonna give my, she has this movie guys covered, so I'm a little scared.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like in a fun way, I am going to go for it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I am going to say that I get a couple of vibes, but I'm gonna give my strongest one is three vibes.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I'm going to tell you that I was very happy to give three vibes because a lot of the time threes get cast as not the hero or anywhere near the hero of a story.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh, three vibes, and it's the hero.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: So that was fun.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: It was so fun.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: And actually, that's one of the reasons why I thought about it.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I it's hard sometimes.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: I do feel like those assertive types tend to get painted in not good lights in, you know, as different characters.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so to me, it was awesome.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: Three wing four, definitely see the romantic.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh white and yes, this very individualistic approach to romance.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: If you haven't seen Hitch, he's essentially a matchmaker, but a very unique kind of matchmaker.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: And he, I think the quote is like he helps guys get out of their own way so love can happen.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's pretty sweet when you see the heart of it and you get to dial into his vulnerability and who he is, but he definitely cares about significance, how he looks.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: He's also bold and assertive, but that there's that edge of hopeless romanticism that I see play out as well.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love your analysis.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think about Wings, and you're right.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: He has such a depth and he is an idealist and a dreamer, despite all the people who really disenfranchise love and try to take from it.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: He holds on to his core values, which is our great values of true love and not cheating and not just hitting it, but really like loving and caring about one person for the rest of your life.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's pretty rare among young men.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that that was such a fun trait that you're right, the four aspect really brings this fullness to the heart triad because he's already a three with all that heart.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then to see that he's also like deeply within it as the four-wing created a safety for him.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, in his uh, even in such a job where he's always seeing women and women are always flirting with him.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, because he's very attractive.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: One other piece that I think is important to say, just as a win for the depiction of a three of what a three could look like, is that he was really involved and cared deeply about the success of others.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is something so valuable for threes to understand when they it something shifts, that transformation really happens when they don't uh use people for their own success, but they really care about the success of the person and they're giving it a way that helps others reach their full potential.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I see that in all of it.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: I know a little deep, but hey, gonna throw that out there.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love it.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: I really feel like, yeah, now you can really let people know this episode might even help you to become better at who you are because we all get sort of tired of ourselves at times and it's like, oh my gosh, a three was cast well.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I can shoot for that too.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I can shoot for really showing off uh not just my glory, but just even the fact that like I care about others.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's a beautiful thing that threes can show us how to do.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, 100%.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: The next character, which is his romantic partner or sidekick, if you will, in the story, it's Sarah Malas, right?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: I have I have that.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yes, Eva Mendez does, and it's yeah, so Sarah is her character name.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, she's a spitfire.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: I like her, love to hear what you think.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm guessing it's kind of clear.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think so too.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: I thought eight.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: How about you?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that the scene where if listeners are familiar, he is uh Will Smith is helping her to not be flirted with, but she doesn't need his help because she's already taken care of business.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, excuse me, don't be coming near me because I know who I am, I know who I'm about, and she's taking care of it.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And he comes in to give a little assistance and she gives him a bit of a nod, but it's, you know, not the way I would do it as a 749, where first of all, I'd be really extra grateful, but a little skeptical.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how she was, but the gratitude probably was a little lower because it was like, I don't need your help.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, she just goes, she's like, okay, thanks.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was already taking care of business.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that exhibition of the eight strengths.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: And the scene that I think is so funny that I still laugh and groan out loud is the jet ski date.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: And that interplay of how he takes the lead and she is like, I don't think so.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: I I am not gonna, I'm not gonna let you drive me.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna drive.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's just that whole interplay.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yep, I know a few eights, love them dearly, women in particular, and this is exactly how that scene would unfold with them.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the fun part about Enneagram, is you know, you're thinking this is Hollywood.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, this is reality, like this is real.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought that that was very refreshing to see an actual female who is an eight who is the lead.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get to see that a lot.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, yes, we got a strong female who can take care of herself.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in that way, model to us who have grown up under the purity culture of being demure and just kind of letting a male fully rescue you to be able to say, like, let's do this together, you know.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that we're seeing some more of that in the movies these days.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I think one point to their growth, both of them, uh, Hitch was willing to take off his mask and be more vulnerable and real.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: It was a little bit forced, induced by some Benadryl.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: We'll tease the eye if the audience hasn't seen it.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And the other led by Sarah in her vulnerability back in reception to that about um her love for her sister.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it just, there was a pointed question asked, and that opened up the door to her vulnerability.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a beautiful interchange that I think was um just telling, telling of that sweet moment and kind of probably where two assertive types can um decide if they can connect on that level.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Really good observation because if they can't, it'll just get awkward and people will be wearing the masks and showing invulnerability, but instead you saw softness and and by the way, not to spoil everything for the listeners, but you guys might already know this.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it was nice for me to see that having already kind of watched when earlier she's upset about her grandfather.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, family history stuff.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, sometimes we run when that happens.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's nice to see people staying and trying to do the work.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's a great point.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: That was another great scene.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Followed by a really funny one.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: I had forgotten how funny it was.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: It is.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good one.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: I I do enjoy.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: I probably watch it once a year, usually around Valentine's Day.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of my thing, my personal tradition.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have fun at Valentine's Day.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Cause as we were talking about before we got on, like it's really special for people to be able to have things that they create for themselves around Valentine's Day versus just expecting our spouse or partner to do it all for us.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: But just like I watch this movie, I have this snack.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like those are fun little traditions.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: The other romantic couple, two more characters we'll talk about in this hitch movie, Allegra Pole and Albert Brennan.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's just so sweet.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: I it's just great.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I love it too.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you also want to share some of your opinions.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: I will too, but I don't know.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to stop you from getting to share if you ever want to go first.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, okay.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I went back and forth on these.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like there might be a connection with the triangle of the 369, um, somewhat, but I honestly wasn't a hundred percent sure.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: So with Allegra Cole, she she definitely is not the assertive necessarily, but I also didn't see her as completely withdrawn.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: I saw her more in the dutiful stance.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I was oh, yeah, yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I would because she was one of the pieces was the advisory board meeting, and it's her financial advisors, and she's sitting there with a bunch of older men, suits, suits, ties, giving her direction on how to spend her money.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I saw either that tear between a one or a six, wanting to do the right thing, looking for advice, but I wasn't sure it felt a little bit more intercommittee because she was looking to a group of people essentially, and there was some uncertainty, but she also wanted to do the right thing, which sometimes a six can be driven in that way.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of curious to know what you thought about her.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that we both peg them as compliant assertive stance.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: That is so interesting.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I had pegged some of the one also.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had her as a two-wing one, and I think that I did that because of her femininity coming out, and not that all twos have a femininity, but there was this energy that she brought out of take care of me.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I felt like her advisory board wasn't there so much as the neurosis of six, and I say that as a thinking type.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it felt to me that she was coming with it this innocence and sweetness of a self-preserving two-wing one.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just felt like they were all around trying to just honor that, help that.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then she was trying to be positive, and twos are very positive.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And she goes, Well, I'm still rich.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, well, that's a great sweet little, you know, reframe.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but she is powerful, so it's not like I'm saying twos are not powerful.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was she had power, but she was also tentative and compliant.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that, and I can see some of the one absolutely um, I also liked how she had a great heart.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: I felt and I think that's where you saw the six, probably.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I, and to your point, I like the two because her kind of the main role was she was wanting to use her money to help a friend get their business going.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: And that was that was really the question was I want to help this person.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: Am I allowed to help this person?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of an interesting thing in there.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: I I definitely see the two wing one and that one.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: So that's good.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Good call.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, thank you.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: And now we can, yeah, now I'm putting all sorts of things together about like I don't know how much we're revealing, but like how things work out.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, okay, good.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: The heart type wouldn't want to be like set up as much.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just all coming together.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and then we have Albert Brennan, who's played by Kevin James.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Hilarious.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: He is so funny, and yet I love that it's this very unassuming role that he plays.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: And because he's just such a goof and a klutz and so uncertain about himself, he he becomes the definitely the comedic break throughout it.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: But you're just cheering for him.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: You love him.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what did you think?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I kind of got some nine vibes.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I was kind of going back and forth.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: I really feel you, girl.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I bet everybody listening is waving their white handkerchief with us because I feel it like I felt the seven-wing six or six-wing seven, and I felt the nine so strongly.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm really glad I like tri-type because I felt them almost equally.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Just like with me, I feel the seven and the four so strong it's almost equal.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt that with him with those pieces.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so funny that you did too.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that you bring up the tri-type because we haven't talked about it much.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: Going to in uh in the future here soon, near future, because there's a resource that I've been working on with a fellow coach that really explores the tri-type a little bit more because that is a powerful tool in the mistyping process to get a better picture.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because to your point, when just in friendship with you and talking with you and knowing the work you do, that for is very, very strong.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: As actually with this fellow coach that um has been helping putting together this resource.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's even been a mistyping for her because it's just so closely related, right?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but when you explore the tritypes, it all begins to make sense.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then you can dive in a little bit with clearer perspective about that or desire and all of that.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be so much fun for your listeners.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited for them.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a great resource.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: What other what other things took out to you about Albert and his personality that led you to think, okay, I this might be where I land with him.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just saw such an earnest desire to learn, like you said, and you really brought out for me more how the six was there.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's like, man, I almost want to say uh my son's tri-type, which is like I see the nine and then the six and then the two, which is the good Samaritan tri-type.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it's I see the heart of love.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: I see such a desire to be loyal and help, but I just see the hopeless romantic.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then the nine is like, you know, am I worthy of this?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I go for this?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do I know what to do?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Of course you do.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're amazing, just the way you are, ironically, versus trying to change.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's what we come to discover in relationship is that as much as we want to lean into one another, like we do have some core gifts that are already present in his life that we can see and that are, you know, going to make a woman fall in love with him.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna go on a tiny little tangent, but just the relationship studies that I do remind us sometimes that on a standard deviation, women are a bit more attractive than men anyway.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: So he's kind of getting himself worked up about like she's the supermodel looking person, and I'm not quite to that level, but his charm is off the charts.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you just want to be like, you're amazing, and she would be lucky to have you, right?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, his kindness that really stuck out and uh refreshing honesty, even though he discounted his worth, there was also just a realness that in particular played into the story because she was famous, he's not, but there was some beauty in that.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um and yeah, and even the the matchup of Hitch helping Albert in that process of that cool.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: If he, you know, say if Albert was a nine and that line of growth to a three, how he was kind of taught and brought along and empowered by you know um Hitch's confidence in him in a way that I thought was sweet.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: That was beautiful, and we can lend that to each other.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: And and I love that about relationships is you can help to can't change a person, can bring their gifts out.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh okay.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: So if you haven't watched Hitch, time to cue it up.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: Go watch it.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's a fun one.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember off the top of my head when it came out, sometime early aughts, and you know, one of Will Smith's classics.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good cast for sure.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're giving people something fun to do around Valentine's.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, my big fat Greek wedding.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot more characters to talk about.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: We won't cover them all because I want to hear for you.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, this movie is meaningful for you.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I would love to hear about it.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it's just man, there's a lot of layers with this movie because I feel like I not only can relate to Tula a little bit, but that my best friend growing up was Greek, also with a very similar family.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so much fun because her dad was called Hercules, and like, you know, I watched the parallel universe of this happening with her, and then like she truly became a stunning adult woman who was able to, you know, woo a wonderful man and in the same far, but vice versa.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: But like it's fun because I think a lot of us and listeners here have had a story where you're feeling like very awkward in those child years at some point.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you probably had some good years, you probably had some years that were not so good, and they just really capitalize on that part of growing up, the awkward years.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: They exaggerated.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: She was never not awkward until adulthood.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's like that.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like every year for some is like that.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're these stunning adults like she became.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I felt like the human connection in that way.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, even with the bullying, because I had some bullying as a child.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: I also was the bully sometimes.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think when you grow up near Detroit, uh, in those days, at least the 90s, 80s, you kind of learn both sides pretty quickly.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I felt like I could really relate to her embarrassment of her parents.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just goes on and on and on.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I love their love connection, her and Ian.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm very excited to talk about this.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: Me too.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's so fun to hear, Krista.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: I too could go on because honestly, and I say this not in false humility or whatever.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I was Tula most of my life.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a little bit of a joke in my household that's really not too far off the beaten path.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: But I didn't really come into myself or quote unquote blossom until I fell in love.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: I that sound and I was 24, I wasn't old by any stretch, but um, but there was a like a lack of coming into myself until my mid-20s.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so I deeply related.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I wasn't the middle chat, I was the oldest though.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I again, like I'm no swan, but I was definitely that ugly duckling for a long time.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_02: You are it's it's kind of true.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: And now, like I'm fine with it again, not false humility or anything.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: But the irony of it is that when this movie came out, suddenly, and I never really dated, but I suddenly got asked out on several different dates, and it all was to this movie.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so it was I ended up watching this movie in the theater like five times or something.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was really kind of hilarious.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: It became a joke at the time.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: So, anyway, it it's just kind of a funny little story there of uh it's a great movie, relate to it.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's so funny.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's incredible that you went on dates to this movie.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know the irony.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: So they had to like pass a lot of tests with you probably after that.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: It was kind of like, oh, I was kind of in the like, hey, why not?
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: What's it gonna hurt?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_02: It that sounds like fun and and just go along with it.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, uh now, as the seven, you'll probably appreciate this fact.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: The details are super fuzzy.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: I almost hesitated.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: Should I share the story?
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I I've even asked my family of origin.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, do you remember what happened?
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think we talked about it, but I don't remember the details.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, there it is for what it's worth.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: That is fascinating.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we love hearing it because that's just juicy to know that you had all kinds of feels when you were in this movie.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: And and I'm glad it was this movie because it's a really good rewatch movie.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: It is absolutely again one of those that I think is fun to watch every year.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: My teenage girls watched it with me and just dived laughing.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: And are you kidding me?
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: We had a whole host of teen girls over watching it.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's unforgettable, it's iconic.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad it's a great life lesson movie if you haven't seen it.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, and lots of good one-liners.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so the first romance, Tula and Ian.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: Tula's played by Nia Vardalos, and Ian is playing by John Corbett, which she's been in lots of different things over the years, both of them.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: I oh goodness, I have gone back and forth on these.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: So I would love your take.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: You may have watched it more than I um have over the years.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I probably have because I like it so much.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I can do that thing where you just fixate.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if I like something, I can really get into it like 10 times.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's the way I am with things that I like, like Lord of the Rings, etc.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I this is one of them that I don't talk about as much.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, Tula, I think she, I think, and this is an I think because I could see it coming into three different types, all three withdrawing types: the nine, the four, and the five.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna say that what I think she really reminds me most of is a nine because of the fact that she does have a lot of energy.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think she really doesn't have energy.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whereas I understand the five very much because I relate to five where you're like, I'm out.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: But she does come in with a lot of, I think, body type energy.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's just she doesn't have a lot of confidence.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's where I think the nine, four, five-ishness comes in because we have this withdrawing like, am I good enough?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Am I adequate?
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I um really, you know, special?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I think at the height of it for me was the nine.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: What about you?
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm gonna have you talk about Ian, and then I'm gonna go back and tell you what my thoughts on the combination because of one scene in particular.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll be curious to hear what you think.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's how that works, where I'm going doing big picture and you're going fine-tune.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: I thought of Ian as a five uh slash four.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know that's similar to what I said about her, but let me go on with that a little bit.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say if you're gonna say five slash four, you might as well say like four-wing five or a five-wing four, but not because I thought he was all dark night of the soul or overly research-oriented.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: I did see that he was a literature person and that he loved books and knowledge, but I also felt that he was an observer and that he had watched her and seen her from a restaurant for so many years and been so patient.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I also thought that it was beautiful that he wanted something different.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought of the forishness of him in that way.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_02: Man, this is a tough one.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: And this is where I'm like, all right, friends, you gotta tell us what you think.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I 100% agree.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: I saw Tula as a withdrawing type.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it was the energy, it was it was at the root of it, her not feeling worthy and valuable.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so I really did go back and forth, four-wing five or a nine.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't honestly land, so I I like that.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then on the flip side, I was wondering if Ian was a nine or a two.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_02: And that was my pull.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: The one scene that stuck out to me was when they're I think they have their first kiss on the bridge, but the conversation before that is Ian is saying something to her that just melts her heart about how he sees her and he likes her where he actually saw her before she was quote unquote to her, how she felt beautiful.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: And he loved the fact that she was different.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so this is where I went either way.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, was he able to say that because that's the message she needed to hear?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or was he able to say that because that was his superpower is seeing the uniqueness and the beauty.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: So I I couldn't land the plane, but that's kind of where I am.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, is it a two-nine convert, you know, connection, two four connection, or a nine-four connection?
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, how fascinating, especially because we just said with the last movie, like often the two can see the heart and the four can see the heart also.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I do love the perception that he may be a heart type in that way as a lead.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a really good place to land, maybe.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that, like you said, when we look at tri-type, he definitely has some of that um nine purity of just being able to look and see the true person and even to merge with her family, which we get to see literally.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: I can see the sexual nine there a lot, girl.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, totally.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_02: His willingness to get enfolded, baptized, and everything.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, if you guys haven't seen it, that's yeah, a hilarious scene.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you're going, who would do that?
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, actually, there's some personalities who would do it for love.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: So and that's why I'm going back with both of them 9-4-9-4.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, this is a sweet couple.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are they double nines, double fours?
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: Are they nine-four?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: Which way does that go?
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's so many cute vibes.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, love it.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's super sweet.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: The Maria who plays the mom, or Maria, who's also the mom, and Gus, who's also the dad.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, they're a well-seasoned couple who have lots of years in history together.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: Gus, the dad, is uh an immigrant, you know, came in with eight dollars in his pocket.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's his story.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, there were so many things here that I thought um was telling of him and also the mom.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_02: But what do you think?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I had really thought of them as a two-eight couple with mom being two-ish and dad being eight.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I definitely thought mom had some one vibes too with how good she was and how orderly, and you know, you're gonna go to Greek school whether you like it or not.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the way it goes and big energy.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I also was like, oh my gosh, but that's so too, also in her hospitable heart, and you know, not saying we're always at our best, but like sometimes we do what we've got to do, kind of a thing.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: And she was doing that with her too in that way of like convincing the dad to get her job, but going sideways.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: So those are some of the fun mom observations I had to land anywhere close to those.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I was thinking the two as well, and the one and the the line that has been quoted a lot within my circle is the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so there was some of that, like it was the subtle two way of okay, dare I say it, manipulation, if you will.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it was all under the guise of helping, and she was she was manipulating things to help her daughter and help her husband feel like it was his idea.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, she was like, I don't have to be uh, you know, the one to come up with the answer, which was extremely healthy, by the way.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're two listening, like that's a beautiful part of it is I don't have to have the pride of or the one part of you, like I don't have to say that I'm right.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: As long as the right thing happens, then I'm okay.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, that is so good.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and the only thought I had about Gus, the dad, I saw him being a six because he would go, like he was definitely forceful, but he would go to the worst case scenario, like because his daughter wanted to go to college downtown where there's drugs and gangs and his his list of why it would be dangerous for Tula to go to college, I thought were yeah, they kind of cracked me up.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he really wanted her around.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the loyalty to Greece, I know that that was enormous.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wonder if he was the eight, six, four tri-type like my dad.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm just gonna say it this way since your audience isn't doing tri-type as much, but like some of them are, I'm sure.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: But reactivity, all those three types are quite reactive, and he just feels like a very reactive person who cares very deeply and emotionally.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that is so good.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: That is that is a really interesting thought, and it actually brings some light to a tri-type in my house that might follow along those lines, and that would make a lot of sense.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for that little, you know, tidbit of information.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it helped more than me.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I Love that my daughter and I, who's a four and we're the same tri-type, she um she was observing the other day with me, Mom, there's a lot of people who have that eight, six, four tri-type in whatever combination, like they just share traits of all three of those types and other ones.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we were like, Yeah, that one does show up a lot.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay, good to know.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so man, I'm picking and choosing, but I'm seeing our time.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: What I thought on the flip side would be fun is to talk about Ian's mom and dad, Harriet and Rodney, and they play these characters that kind of actually create some of the comic relief throughout it, ironically, um, not overtly.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd just be kind of curious, what did you think about their couple combination?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think it's kind of funny because you know, sometimes we we were saying this earlier about threes sometimes being painted as um a villain.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: So these are types that aren't normally created to be villainous, and the good news is their character art comes back around and they're not not villains, but they kind of start out as a bit villainous because they're just kind of not very with the uh, you know, they're boring to him.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so he's like, I want to get married to Ian, you know, he's like, I want to get married because my family's boring.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I felt like they were the one five couple, and I've never thought of that couple pairing as boring, but I'm only gonna say it this way in their lower states.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like if a one and a five aren't healthy, something they need a lot of help with is how to relate, and they need a lot of help with that, honestly, because they're busy mentoring others.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I have that couple pairing sometimes come my way, and they uh can struggle.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, what was fun for me to see was that they did get healthier and more fun along the lines of the show, and that they were a great couple.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't know if you noticed that at all or felt that absolutely, I totally agree.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_02: One five for sure, just that like um reserved, proper, orderly, simplistic, planned, um, predictable, kind of all of those things that ones and fives love and hold to.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: And at the as we see, we see that healthy shift to the seven or the relaxing, letting go, being flexible, things definitely not going according to plan, but they still show up, they don't resist, they don't throw a fit, absolutely questioning along the way and not sure about any of it.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: I I think it's pretty sweet how they have that story arc um come in line there at the end for them.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: Me too.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey, I'm willing to grow too, as long as I know what's going on and they figured it out in their five, and they're like, all right, these are good people in our five and our one.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: We can see that this is actually gonna be a fun family to be part of.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well, for our friends who have not watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding, go watch it.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: It just good, lots and lots of good lines, lots of good story.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, fun things to learn.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um now I would love to just here at the end as we're wrapping up this month.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're focusing on wholehearted relationships.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so last week, Jesse Eubanks talked about how we relate to God.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, we're focusing on a fun way to talk about marriage.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then we're talking about motherhood, you know, how we parent our kids, and then community and church.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so we're just like focusing on those, you know, those topics of wholehearted relationships.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious to know for you, out of those relationships, what has felt the easiest in this season or chapter of life for you?
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think that the easiest of the relationships that I have right now has been with my mom friends, because my mom friends get the stage of life I'm in.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a safety to talk about it because women have adapted to talking about feelings and emotions for so long.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: And although I've done some of that with my husband Wes, it's been like when I'm with him, I need a release.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, whether it's that we are just scratching each other's backs metaphorically or not, or having a date night, it's a little bit more painful to sometimes walk with him through like our children are changing, and it's like we're both going through it together.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: And you've heard that about like grief and loss, and it's like we're letting go together, but we're hanging on for life together.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, so I've had fun with him, but I've had really good relating and connecting with my mom friends who are in the exact same boats as me, where they're like, this is the stage of life I'm in, girl, or I've been through it and this is what it's like.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, it's just been a wonderful time to be around other women lately, which has been great for my social outlet.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_02: I love that answer.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's so much there.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'd love to unpack, but this is why I call them rapid fire.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_02: But I think there's some wisdom here.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: So read the between the lines, my friend, and get the wisdom that Krista just shared.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so how about the relationship that you're focusing on growing the most this year or being more intentional with?
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think the relationship I'm focusing the most on this year is my daughter Hannah, who is a senior because she and her, you know, it's like her crowning moment.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just trying to give her the attention of how can we launch you beautifully and how can we make your senior year special?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not in an over-indulgent way, because I've seen some people really maybe do that.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want that to be part of it.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: I want it to be a tenacious year of grit, and we're just focusing together on fun and order because she's a four.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've decided that this year prayerfully is a year of really getting ordered, like organized, and really just um launching well with hard work, if that makes sense, but also fun.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, grit and tenacity.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_02: Those are character traits and values that we really do need to instill in our kids.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: This their generation, our kids' generation, lacks some of that because things are easier, so much easier, which we've worked hard to give them easier, but they're gonna have to have a lot of hard knocks if we don't give them the schooling now while they're in our home for growing patience, and as a word I like tenacity for sure.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so smart.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: We have to give it to them because the culture won't always do that.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: Nope, nope, and not nicely for sure.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, true.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, if you're getting to hang out with your girlfriends, even if it's spent in some lamenting about the challenges of parenthood, what's your favorite place to hang out with them?
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have been enjoying Panera bread, believe it or not, as a seven.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's cozy, it's not the different place, but it has been delicious, great, consistent conversation ever since uh the beginning of COVID for now three years.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: I can meet at whatever Panera Bread and get into a deep, thoughtful conversation.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: People are respectful, and it's just been a safe space for us.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a place where my family goes for nurture.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm meeting a friend at one tomorrow.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_00: We've done podcasts there.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a fun place.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what's so funny, Krista?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_02: When this movie came out, I was working at a Panera Bread as a shift manager, and that's where a couple of my dates came from.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: Hilarious! Oh my gosh, full circle.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, yeah, absolutely.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: We've done the coffee at the month club, you know, put in a little plug.
• 51:38
  unknown: Oh my gosh.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's great.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, is this that uh episode sponsored by Panera by any chance?
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome, Panera.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, there's so much goodness here, Krista.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for having just this lighthearted fun.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_02: And yet there are some powerful lessons in between the lines here.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: But any last thought or you know, thing that you would like to share with my friends that you are up to or that anyogram in marriage would love to offer in this month of love, whether we feel like it's lacking or it's amazing, or we just could use some tune-ups in our relationships.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a great question.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I love how you care for your listeners.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I will just say I think that what I've been focusing in on lately is creating my podcast episodes to be refreshment for my listeners.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have just felt this call to refresh people.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are looking for paper resources or online, I have them at an EGRM and Marriage.com.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if you just need more seven in your life and please know that Amy has probably all you need of that.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: But like if you just need more because it's dark days, then head over to my podcast because I try to refresh also.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_00: But you're already doing you're killing it out there with this.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: So Krista.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_02: You have you have a whole genre and just um teaching resources and training that I couldn't possibly cover in mine and that you have and you really hone in on.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's fabulous.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_02: If my friends are not already subscribed, go over there, listen to stuff.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you can pick and choose.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_02: You have tons of content.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_02: Pick and choose your type or your types combo.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, lots and lots of good stuff to learn.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, Krista, thank you.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being here.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for watching these fun movies with me and talking about them.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was so great.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_00: Alas, thank you, and happy Valentine's Day to all of you guys.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, my friend, whether Valentine's Day is a romantic day or just an extra special family day, I hope that you do something for yourself that honors the gift of what you offer to others.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, I hope you do something fun.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's even, like I mentioned, cueing up these favorite movies and watching it with a whole new perspective.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, I really do want you to check out all that Krista is doing there at Enneagram and Marriage, especially with her podcasts.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: And could you send me some love today by leaving a five-star rating and reviewing this podcast?
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, even just two sentences can really bless others as they're looking to see if this podcast episode is worth their listening time.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's so valuable.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for being here.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_02: Now, next week there are two special episodes to be looking for.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I mentioned there'll be some bonuses along the way.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to be talking about wholehearted parenting and wholehearted work.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: You guys, it's a pretty big week on the podcast.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: I have someone that I have always wanted to have on the podcast, and I can't believe that has actually happened.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_02: It is so exciting.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if you've watched my Instagram stories, I've given you a sneak peek on who that might be.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_02: But if you haven't, you're gonna have to wait and find out next week.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_02: Next week, as well on Monday, there's going to be an episode on how to communicate with your teens.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's an episode that I've been so excited for you to share, especially as I'm living it in real time.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I might have some fresh perspective for you.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_02: All right, until next time, friend.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_02: Continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.