Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 66 | Binge It Like Beckham

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66 | Binge It Like Beckham · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: Big news, Eric.
• 0:01
  Eric: Hit me, baby.
• 0:02
  Eric: Big, big news for us.
• 0:04
  Eric: Oh man.
• 0:06
  Eric: Oh.
• 0:07
  Eric: Are we can't?
• 0:08
  Eric: We're influencers, Eric.
• 0:09
  Eric: We're influencers.
• 0:10
  Eric: We're influencers.
• 0:12
  Eric: That's right, baby.
• 0:14
  Eric: We influence?
• 0:15
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 0:16
  Eric: We have got influenced.
• 0:18
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:19
  Eric: We have influenced at least one person.
• 0:23
  Eric: Oh fuck yes.
• 0:24
  Eric: Who?
• 0:25
  Eric: Why?
• 0:26
  Eric: While not sober.
• 0:27
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:28
  Eric: Lindsay's good friend Natasha, uh, and a loyal listener of the podcast, I might add.
• 0:34
  Eric: Natasha, I thank you.
• 0:35
  Eric: Recently informed Lindsay that while she was, shall we say, not in her right mind?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh, a little a little out of sorts.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: A little discombubulated mentally, one could say.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Temporarily.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, what's that?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I see in the distance.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is it three sheets to the wind?
• 0:59
  Eric: She bought tickets to an event she has no intention of going to once she returned to her sober state.
• 1:10
  Eric: And Eric, what do you think that event was?
• 1:13
  Eric: Oh my god, what was that event, Matthew?
• 1:16
  Eric: Because actually, when I say we're influencers, I think the more accurate term is you are an influencer.
• 1:24
  Eric: Did she buy tickets for Shrek Rave?
• 1:26
  Eric: She bought a ticket to a Shrek rave.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Swamp.
• 1:36
  Eric: And I can't stress enough, she has no intention of using the tickets.
• 1:40
  Eric: Natasha! Go!
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Natasha, hey, Natasha, this is Poach.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hey.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why you had to specify that.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Look, we don't know each other that well.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, you know me a lot more than I know.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you're a lovely human being.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: You need to go to Shrek Rave.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You need to peel back the layers of that onion.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be our person like on the fucking scene.
• 2:05
  Eric: Hey, don't bully Natasha.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: What is your outfit for Shrek Rave gonna be?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's harassment.
• 2:17
  Eric: What is anyone's outfit gonna be?
• 2:20
  Eric: And I that's just the thing.
• 2:21
  Eric: When when we discussed the art of Shrek Rave, yes, I had to look up photographs to prove to myself that it was a thing.
• 2:32
  Eric: And Eric, I remain horrified by it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: It is it it's like if you look, it's like if you asked Chat GPT to like tell me what cyberpunk was.
• 2:47
  Eric: Yeah.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's like all the elements are there.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: There are lasers, right?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's like cyber dreads and goggles, but then there's just then there's like a sexy Lord Farquad in fishnets.
• 2:59
  Eric: Well, there's that, but then like there's just a lot of like there's like green Dr.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Seuss hats.
• 3:05
  Eric: Yeah, there's like bad green faces.
• 3:07
  Eric: Too many fingers that's half sweated off.
• 3:10
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:12
  Eric: There's terrible ogre ears.
• 3:14
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 3:15
  Eric: That someone's probably doing coke out of in the bathroom.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: There is a man there is some poor bastard in a gingerbread man suit fighting and dancing for his fucking life out there.
• 3:32
  Eric: Every 15 minutes being told by some other crazed raver, hey, hey, do you know the Muffin Man?
• 3:43
  Eric: The Muffin Man the Muffin Man Man Man Like Like this shit writes itself.
• 3:50
  Eric: Does it though?
• 3:51
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 3:53
  Eric: Does it though?
• 3:56
  Eric: Have you been to a Shrek Rave yet?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 3:58
  Eric: And that's why I really need Natasha to get on board.
• 4:03
  Eric: What I'm hearing is you are inviting yourself to be Natasha's plus one to a Shrek Rave.
• 4:09
  Eric: Natasha, I will wing.
• 4:10
  Eric: I don't know your status, but I will wingman for you so fucking hard at Shrek Rave.
• 4:16
  Eric: It would be my honor.
• 4:17
  Eric: She's engaged, but you can still do that.
• 4:20
  Eric: I will I say so.
• 4:21
  Eric: I say okay.
• 4:24
  Eric: I will carry the water.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I will I will remind you to drink it and have a good time.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I will point out cool things that are happening at the rave.
• 4:34
  Eric: Like, ooh, look at that.
• 4:35
  Eric: And I say that you have to be the one of us to do it because Eric, it should come as no shock that I've never been to a rave, let alone I've never set I am very proud to say I have never set foot in what one could call a club.
• 4:56
  Eric: I've never been to a club.
• 4:59
  Eric: I've never been in a situation where I stood in a line and had a man with a clipboard judge me?
• 5:07
  Eric: I don't think so.
• 5:09
  Eric: Hold on.
• 5:09
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 5:10
  Eric: You think I'm gonna be judged on the street?
• 5:12
  Eric: Tell me more about what you think happens at Raves.
• 5:16
  Eric: I this is this is now this is amazing for me.
• 5:20
  Eric: This is so good for me to do it.
• 5:21
  Eric: I let me tell you something.
• 5:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 5:23
  Eric: I saw the documentary.
• 5:25
  Eric: What about what fucking documentary in Dare?
• 5:29
  Eric: about Woodstock 99.
• 5:31
  Eric: And I can I only assume that that is that is but a microcosm of what a rave must look like.
• 5:40
  Eric: It's an unlawful place, it's an unholy place, it's a dangerous place for someone like me who is uncomfortable easily.
• 5:49
  Eric: You're bringing so much Shrek, an ironic amount of Shrek energy.
• 5:54
  Eric: It's sweaty.
• 5:56
  Eric: It's I imagine it being sweaty.
• 5:58
  Eric: I imagine it being salty somehow.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, and those two are very true.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Very sweaty, very salty.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: People up in my business.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: For all my trip pant wearing, cyber dread rocking, you know, pacifier sucking.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um Dr.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Seuss hats.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, pacifier's man.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but who's sucking passies?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: God, I want to take you to a rave so you never will fucking badly.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Alyssa, we're trying to get into a rave.
• 6:29
  Eric: You never will.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get him a Dr.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Seuss hat.
• 6:32
  Eric: Don't you call her into the podcast to bully me into going to a rave.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: I will never rave.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Listen to me.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: I will never rave.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: You will never see me raving.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: The only raving you will ever see me do is right now in this microphone.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Get out of my swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp, swap, swom, go, go, go, go!
• 7:05
  Eric: The idea of you at a rave is It is comical, isn't it?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is the funniest shit.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You I would pay any amount of money to bring to go on a double date, me and Alyssa, you and Lindsay to a rave.
• 7:18
  Eric: It will absolutely never happen.
• 7:20
  Eric: Hello there and welcome to You Didn't Ask for This.
• 7:26
  Eric: The podcast answering life's least pressing questions, such as what does it look like for me to be at a rave?
• 7:33
  Eric: My name's Matt Shea.
• 7:35
  Eric: My name is Eric Poach.
• 7:37
  Eric: Eric Poach, how the hell are you?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm magnificent.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I just had a birthday.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I just did.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I got so I got a very good surprise from my girlfriend on my birthday.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: We went to go see the live stage adaptation of Spirited Away as shown on the big screen.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and imagine my surprise when I show up, and then there's like just so many of my of my friends.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like you were there.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And fucking and Lindsay was there.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, Dr.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Bar was there.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: And Dr.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Bar was there.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm not trying to dox a bunch of people, so just suffice to say, a good chunk of my friends were there.
• 8:15
  Eric: It was quite I gotta say, Eric, it was quite heartwarming to see how moved you were.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 8:21
  Eric: I didn't moved.
• 8:23
  Eric: I I I got on this wonderful roller coaster.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would look at each person and go, Oh my god, you're oh my god, oh my god.
• 8:32
  Eric: You really you really did go through a roller coaster of emotions, not knowing that any of us were there.
• 8:38
  Eric: And as I had previously stated on this podcast, it was my return to a movie theater, to a cinema for the first time since 2020.
• 8:48
  Eric: I have never been more honored.
• 8:50
  Eric: And you should be, and you should be, yeah, quite frankly.
• 8:54
  Eric: Okay, you should be.
• 8:55
  Eric: Okay.
• 8:55
  Eric: I gotta say, those seats Lee let left a little something to be desired, though, on my own.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Which is hilarious.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like when we're talking about cushioned, lazy boy style seats that automatically recline.
• 9:08
  Eric: But they recline very badly.
• 9:10
  Eric: And they I don't know about your seat.
• 9:12
  Eric: The middle of my the the like middle back of my cushion, gone.
• 9:19
  Eric: Just toast.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just blown the fuck out.
• 9:22
  Eric: Yeah, like the cushion around my like shoulders was there, and the cushion around my butt was there, but the part around my disc that is her needed was decidedly missing.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, I was one row below you, like elbow deep in the popcorn bucket and shovering, shoving like chocolate-filled churros into my mouth and eating mozzarella sticks.
• 9:44
  Eric: Well, that's the other thing.
• 9:45
  Eric: Lindsay and I usually, when we go to the movies, we get popcorn, we get some candy, waters, that's it.
• 9:52
  Eric: Done, dun, done.
• 9:53
  Eric: But uh, we never get like quote unquote food.
• 9:56
  Eric: Food.
• 9:57
  Eric: But we didn't have dinner or anything before we came.
• 9:59
  Eric: Like we, because we live kind of far away from where we went to the movies, so we had to like leave right away to get there on time.
• 10:04
  Eric: And so we got like, you know, like chicken tenders and fries and all this, and then popcorn and stuff.
• 10:10
  Eric: And so we have this whole like negotiation of like, where do we put this shit?
• 10:17
  Eric: I was like, where's it all?
• 10:18
  Eric: How do we navigate this?
• 10:20
  Eric: How do we do this?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: They give you like when you get all your shit.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: They give you like a trough, and they and they they cram it all in there and not efficiently.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like it's all like sideway.
• 10:31
  Eric: It's like you this is just to get you to your seat from there on, you're on your own.
• 10:35
  Eric: It was as if someone gave us a Tetris game that was already like two rows from the top.
• 10:41
  Eric: Yep, you know, good luck, just in the center, just a tower in the center, and we were navigating it.
• 10:48
  Eric: That's what it was like.
• 10:49
  Eric: It was it was an incredible time, it was an amazing time.
• 10:53
  Eric: Well, Eric, I am glad that you had a good birthday.
• 10:55
  Eric: I had such an amazing birthday.
• 10:57
  Eric: Um I'm pleased to announce there is one more gift for you.
• 11:02
  Eric: And it comes at the end of this episode.
• 11:04
  Eric: It's Google Gripes season two, round three, finale, potentially.
• 11:12
  Eric: But the there is a world where we once again end in a tie.
• 11:17
  Eric: But before we get to that excitement, Eric.
• 11:19
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 11:20
  Eric: We got some questions to answer.
• 11:22
  Eric: You want to hit us, birthday boy, with the uh with the first question there?
• 11:26
  Eric: Yes, I do.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: This first question, coming from the ether, some might say.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Something we've all wondered at one time or another.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um what qualifies one as a Disney adult?
• 11:43
  Eric: Ah, yes.
• 11:44
  Eric: This is something Lindsay and I were talking about.
• 11:46
  Eric: That's the ether that Eric refers to.
• 11:48
  Eric: Yes, yes, yes.
• 11:49
  Eric: Because look, I'm an adult, am I not?
• 11:54
  Eric: Oh, sorry.
• 11:54
  Eric: That was uh yes, you are you are a a grown ass man.
• 11:58
  Eric: All right, you took long, you took what I'll call an insulting amount of time to say that.
• 12:02
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 12:03
  Eric: Um you are allegedly an adult.
• 12:07
  Eric: I am an adult.
• 12:08
  Eric: I am a man grown.
• 12:10
  Eric: You're a man grown, yes.
• 12:13
  Eric: But some might say too much, too far, too much.
• 12:16
  Eric: Too much, too hard.
• 12:17
  Eric: Too much, too much bone.
• 12:19
  Eric: So, so you like Disney, do you not?
• 12:23
  Eric: I do.
• 12:23
  Eric: I I love I very much enjoy Disney.
• 12:26
  Eric: I very much enjoy Disney too.
• 12:28
  Eric: I would not consider either of us to be Disney adults.
• 12:34
  Eric: Because they so there has to be some qualification.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's liking Disney, there's loving Disney, there's being obsessed with Disney, and then there is the Disney lifestyle.
• 12:47
  Eric: I think you are correct.
• 12:49
  Eric: I do think it's that tiered.
• 12:51
  Eric: There is like uh and of course there are the sub tier, the even lower tiers of like, don't really care about Disney, indifferent to it, whatever.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's definitely, I will say, it's uh right off the bat, uh, I feel like a qualification for a Disney adult.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: They're usually someone like they are if you are at Disney and you're already planning your next trip and it's within the season, like if it is fall and you're like, man, I okay, I already planning for my next trip, and your next trip is in the fall, you're you're Disney adult.
• 13:28
  Eric: Now, I would also say, now I'm saying that I'm coming from a perspective of someone who has never been to Disney World.
• 13:37
  Eric: Never been to Disney World or Disneyland, neither.
• 13:40
  Eric: I've never been to either.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I only got to go, and that that's my other point with with Disney adults, and this is no shit, because we I we can safely say we know Disney adults.
• 13:51
  Eric: Oh, yes, we I'd say many.
• 13:54
  Eric: I like if you're thinking right now, oh my god, is Poach talking about me?
• 13:58
  Eric: Yes, I am, and more than a couple people just had that reaction, I think.
• 14:03
  Eric: Yes, yes, that's what I was doing.
• 14:05
  Eric: We're calling you all out.
• 14:07
  Eric: Um we're calling you all out with love, with fucking love.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: We have friends who have worked for Disney.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I was gonna say, the only reason I ever went was because my mom worked for the Disney store back in the back in the late 90s, early 2000s.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when back then, when you were a cast member, you got to be a couple of things.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your mom is a cast member?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh well, anyone who works for Disney.
• 14:32
  Eric: Oh, even at the stores, even at the stores, they are considered cast members.
• 14:36
  Eric: They're cast members as well.
• 14:37
  Eric: Yes.
• 14:38
  Eric: I didn't know that.
• 14:39
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 14:39
  Eric: I didn't know that.
• 14:40
  Eric: You've educated me now.
• 14:41
  Eric: Oh, oh man, the the the tales I could weave, you Matthew.
• 14:46
  Eric: Well, weave it, baby.
• 14:48
  Eric: What else we got to do?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh oh, but no, yeah, we we got to we got to go to the parks for free, and if we stayed in a hotel on Disney premises, we got to stay for free.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: The only thing we had to pay for was our airfare.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was it and we were not like my family wasn't going to Disney unless it was for otherwise, sure.
• 15:09
  Eric: Yeah, I mean it's it's very expensive too.
• 15:12
  Eric: It's fucking expensive.
• 15:13
  Eric: And like Lindsay and I have talked about it is a rich kids' hobby.
• 15:17
  Eric: Sure, but like Lindsay and I have talked about also like specifically wanting to go to like Disney World before we have kids.
• 15:27
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 15:28
  Eric: Like to experience it just the once, just just the once when we're not worried about keeping a human alive.
• 15:35
  Eric: Yes, you know, um, and but also when we've looked into it, we're like, who maybe next year, you know, like it is I haven't been in de in like a decade, like like 15 years.
• 15:51
  Eric: I think so.
• 15:52
  Eric: Okay, so let's get into what is the difference between because your highest tier was somebody who is obsessed with Disney.
• 15:59
  Eric: Oh, the Disney highest here is the Disney lifestyle, the Disney adult.
• 16:04
  Eric: Yeah, I think yes, the Disney adult is the Disney lifestyle.
• 16:08
  Eric: Like uh when you have based a good chunk of your personality around your fandom of the Disney corporation.
• 16:19
  Eric: Not that there's anything wrong with that, not that there's anything wrong with that.
• 16:22
  Eric: Not that there's anything wrong with that, then I think is the f you're on your way to the Disney lifestyle.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: If a if a non-insignificant percentage of your profile pictures have you and mouse ears.
• 16:37
  Eric: Oh you're a Disney adult.
• 16:40
  Eric: I think if you can give, if I can say to you, hey, I'm going to Disney for the first time, if you can give me not just tips, but some sort of like itinerary for like the best experience, you might be a Disney adult.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're hitting me with like not only recommendations, like tips, like an itinerary, but you're giving me names of your contacts within the Disney sphere.
• 17:11
  Eric: Oh, go talk to my boy Stefan.
• 17:15
  Eric: And I would also say, like, if you've been to Disney World, it's I'm gonna say multiple times, but I think we gotta put a number on it.
• 17:24
  Eric: I went over the course of my lifetime, I went three times.
• 17:28
  Eric: If you, yeah, if you go anywhere near annually, and especially if you go more than annually.
• 17:36
  Eric: Oh, buddy, oh yeah.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the minimum because like I know people, Matt, who would go weekendly.
• 17:42
  Eric: Yes.
• 17:43
  Eric: Well, who did not live in Florida.
• 17:46
  Eric: That, and that's exactly what I was gonna say.
• 17:49
  Eric: I will put a caveat because I have a good friend who lives very close to Disney.
• 17:54
  Eric: And when um she moved down to Florida, she got like a season pass or whatever, because it is a very common uh like after work activity to show up to Disney at like six o'clock, five, six o'clock to get like happy hour drinks, do like a coaster while everyone's leaving, and go home.
• 18:16
  Eric: That's that's like ultimately.
• 18:18
  Eric: And that sounds like a great time.
• 18:20
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 18:21
  Eric: Like if you're fucking spitting distance from the park and can just wander in, like if I still lived in uh, you know, when I grew up in Pennsylvania, southern Pennsylvania, and lived about 40-ish minutes away from Hershey Park.
• 18:37
  Eric: So I went to Hershey Park with regularity.
• 18:39
  Eric: If I lived in Hershey, oh baby, you see me and the you'd see me at that factory every night.
• 18:45
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:46
  Eric: Which have have I talked about Milton Hershey on this show before?
• 18:49
  Eric: Yes, you have.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, thank God.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about a statue.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank Lord.
• 18:53
  Eric: We did.
• 18:54
  Eric: In fact, it was an entire cold open.
• 18:56
  Eric: Friendly reminder, go Google Milton Hershey statue, Hershey Park.
• 19:00
  Eric: It is the funniest, saddest thing on earth.
• 19:04
  Eric: Yes, you you did um slander Milton Hershey uh quite a bit.
• 19:08
  Eric: He's a very good person.
• 19:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:09
  Eric: Um, I mean, I'm now listening real quick.
• 19:14
  Eric: He did live at a time where I'm sure he had horrible beliefs of some sort.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm just going off of Wikipedia told me philanthropist philanthropists open a bunch of schools.
• 19:25
  Eric: Uh yeah, one what what you might actually first go to the giant hospital system that it's named after him.
• 19:32
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:34
  Eric: Um, anyway, he yes, he's he's I want to meet a Hershey adult.
• 19:38
  Eric: But he does have a a rather uh I want to meet a Hershey adult as well.
• 19:41
  Eric: I want to meet a Hershey adult.
• 19:43
  Eric: Yeah.
• 19:43
  Eric: I want to meet a what it what is a Hershey adult like?
• 19:46
  Eric: Yeah, I I I don't know.
• 19:48
  Eric: Maybe I'm stepping out of my lane here, but you're looking at him, baby.
• 19:51
  Eric: I think you're a Hershey adult.
• 19:53
  Eric: I love a Hershey.
• 19:55
  Eric: I can tell you what my riding status is right off the bat.
• 19:59
  Eric: What?
• 20:00
  Eric: Jolly Rancher, baby.
• 20:01
  Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 20:02
  Eric: You Jolly Rancher.
• 20:03
  Eric: Have you been you've been to Hershey Park?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've been to Hershey Park many a time.
• 20:06
  Eric: Yeah, you're a Jolly Rancher.
• 20:07
  Eric: You're beyond a Jolly Rancher.
• 20:08
  Eric: I am the Jolly Rancher.
• 20:12
  Eric: You sure are, buddy.
• 20:14
  Eric: You sure are.
• 20:15
  Eric: Uh yeah.
• 20:16
  Eric: Disney adults.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um they not only know, they have the park rides down to a science.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like they have their own like special tailored formula for what order to attend the rides from Max.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: They know the secret paths to go down.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: They know the secret paths.
• 20:33
  Eric: They know all you they're the ones giving you tours of each ride while you're on them.
• 20:39
  Eric: But it goes beyond a relationship with the park.
• 20:42
  Eric: I think it it has a like a dedication to every new Disney movie that comes out.
• 20:50
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 20:51
  Eric: There's a dedication to like I like Disney, but I'm not automatically seeing every new animated movie that comes out.
• 21:01
  Eric: I it's got to get hyped to me first.
• 21:03
  Eric: Yes.
• 21:03
  Eric: And even then, maybe I I gotta get the oh, have you seen Encanto before I'm like, oh, there's a new Disney movie out?
• 21:13
  Eric: Like that is how I saw Encanto.
• 21:15
  Eric: Yeah.
• 21:16
  Eric: Like it because so many people are like, oh my god, it's so good, you gotta see it.
• 21:19
  Eric: And I was like, all right, we'll turn that on.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's turn this on.
• 21:21
  Eric: You know, like, but like I am not like counting down days to release days of just children's movies by my but without some context.
• 21:32
  Eric: I know people who were planning tattoos based off of characters before the show, before the movie even dropped.
• 21:37
  Eric: Just because like they go, they go in hard.
• 21:41
  Eric: Yeah, I think there is I don't know it is hard to even trying to lay down these hard and fast like qualifications of like you are a Disney adult, is I'm finding it a little difficult because there is like this ephemeral nature.
• 22:00
  Eric: Here's what it is.
• 22:01
  Eric: Matt, let's say we're on a first date.
• 22:03
  Eric: Every episode's a first date.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: There, thank you.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: There are certain things that like you're kind of uh obligated to bring up on a first date if if they qualify for you.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have a kid.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like that kind of stuff.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I or like I was married, I was divorced, like stuff like just like stuff that's good for the other person.
• 22:30
  Eric: The headline news.
• 22:31
  Eric: Yes.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: If one of your first date preambles is I have a particular relationship with Disney, like if you have to like prime the other human being, like, hey, you need to know this about like you need to know what you're signing on to.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be going to the parks, we're gonna be, we're gonna be getting dinner in the enchanted castle.
• 22:50
  Eric: Or if they in any way are able to put that together without you saying that, let's say you whip out a Mickey Mouse credit card, or have have any sort of Disney iconography anywhere on your person.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:10
  Eric: If I think you're a Disney adult.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: If after like, you know, a very successful first date, you know, establishing common interests and stuff, turns out you both love it.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: If your wedding invitations, like if the save the dates have be our guest on them, you're motherfucking Disney adult.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• 23:34
  Eric: I think I think it's a little like porn.
• 23:38
  Eric: Go on.
• 23:40
  Eric: You know it when you see it.
• 23:45
  Eric: Oh, I didn't know you were busting out the Supreme Court's definition of lewd axe.
• 23:50
  Eric: You can't define it, but you know it when you see it.
• 23:52
  Eric: You know when you see it?
• 23:53
  Eric: You do know it when you see it.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: There was Matt when uh uh when I still lived in Pasadena, I passed, I was driving through the fucking uh uh parking lot of Food Lion, and I see this neon blue Jeep with the word Pocahontas across the the hood of the car.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's John Smith.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh fuck it fucking like there were punk Disney princesses like painted all over the car.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like uh oh yeah, but like Pocahontas was like the just the word Pocahontas across across the Jeep.
• 24:34
  Eric: Whitest, whitest Lily White human driving this car.
• 24:38
  Eric: Sure.
• 24:39
  Eric: If you have any car of any type, but the back of it has those little like family stick figures, but instead of the stick figures, it's Disney characters, you're a Disney adult.
• 24:52
  Eric: Now I'm I think we've I think we've we've explored the spectrum, the space.
• 24:57
  Eric: I will end on this.
• 24:58
  Eric: I do like to end on a controversy.
• 25:00
  Eric: Of course, yes.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you're obsessed if you're obsessed with ruin some friendships, if if you've been listening to this entire tirade and and laughing, giggling at the at the at the Disney dweebs, um, keep in mind if you're a big Star Wars fan and that's your obsession, and you've got like Star Wars bumper stickers and a bunch of Star Wars Funko Pops in your congratulations.
• 25:26
  Eric: You're a Disney adult.
• 25:28
  Eric: I yes, I mean that's that is true.
• 25:31
  Eric: That's a sect of Disney adult.
• 25:34
  Eric: If you I'm gonna give you a little bit of pushback, like we have we'd have to explore the same thing with the Star Wars universe.
• 25:41
  Eric: Because having some Funko Pops does not make I know I'm a collector of Funko Pops, but like just because one hat it doesn't need to be Funko Pops, it's called bobbleheads, whatever you want to be.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you own your own stormtrooper armor, you're you're a Disney adult.
• 25:56
  Eric: Yes, you're a Disney adult.
• 25:57
  Eric: If you have spent an amount of money on a piece of not, you know what?
• 26:02
  Eric: I was I'm gonna disagree with that.
• 26:04
  Eric: I was gonna say, I'm gonna disagree myself before I even get it out.
• 26:06
  Eric: I was gonna say, like, if you spend an amount of money that has a comma in it on a piece of merchandise, then you're a Disney adult.
• 26:15
  Eric: But like what if you're getting like an autographed poster for two grand or something?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're a you're definitely a Disney adult.
• 26:24
  Eric: But okay, but like put that in perspective for like uh sports memorabilia, you know, like paying for like a Oh, they better watch their fucking backs.
• 26:34
  Eric: The way Disney's they're gonna be Disney adults soon enough.
• 26:36
  Eric: Disney's gonna buy sports.
• 26:39
  Eric: But are you say more about that?
• 26:44
  Eric: Uh I I am this is my radical opinion that literally formed in my head.
• 26:49
  Eric: I just watched here's what I watched you do.
• 26:51
  Eric: I watched you just jump into a hole.
• 26:54
  Eric: So I'd like to see what you do now.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh well, Disney bought Marvel, Disney bought Star Wars.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: True.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Disney is I'm I'm calling this shot now.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's not on the bingo cart.
• 27:08
  Eric: I'm calling this shot National Geographic.
• 27:10
  Eric: Don't forget about that.
• 27:12
  Eric: They own animals now?
• 27:13
  Eric: They own animals now?
• 27:15
  Eric: They're going to own sports.
• 27:16
  Eric: So if you want to save the planet, are you a Disney adult?
• 27:20
  Eric: Is that what you're saying now, Eric?
• 27:21
  Eric: Uh yeah.
• 27:22
  Eric: You fucking loon.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I look, I'm all I'm saying is the Disney.
• 27:26
  Eric: Top is rocker, folks.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Top is rocker.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: The day Disney buys a fucking football team, the day I get to cheer for the for the Orlando Mousketeers, I will lose that is the day I start watching football.
• 27:39
  Eric: Now, I you everybody knows I have a moral hatred of football, but I've gotten really into the real football, which is to say soccer.
• 27:47
  Eric: Um, I'm deep in it now.
• 27:49
  Eric: Um He is so deep in it.
• 27:52
  Eric: I'm so deep in it.
• 27:53
  Eric: It happened over the course of the last year, all because, all because, not just Ted Lasso, which made me like interested in the sport in like a you know cosmic sense, I guess, but like FIFA was the free free game of the month a year ago, last May.
• 28:09
  Eric: Yeah, and I was like, oh fuck around with this, it's free.
• 28:12
  Eric: And then I was like, oh, I don't know how to play soccer.
• 28:13
  Eric: So I looked up rules, and now I am watching soccer fucking daily, and it really has taken me uh by by shock and awe.
• 28:23
  Eric: Uh, but I fucking love it, and it is the superior football.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're you're you're you're the the prime the pump is primed when they buy sports, you're gonna be in Disney adult.
• 28:33
  Eric: Yeah, and absolutely, and so funny you should say this because what I was getting at is there is a really great documentary on FX called Welcome to Rexham about Wrexham AFC in Wales, the team that Rob McElhenney and Ryan Reynolds bought in 2020.
• 28:51
  Eric: And it follows their um their team.
• 28:55
  Eric: And it's even if you don't like soccer or don't even like want to like soccer, it doesn't matter.
• 29:00
  Eric: If you like Ted Lasso, you will love this show because it is like about the people of the team more so than like the sport necessarily.
• 29:10
  Eric: You don't have to bend it like Beckham.
• 29:12
  Eric: You can like, you can but you can binge it like Beckham.
• 29:16
  Eric: You can you can binge it like Beckham.
• 29:17
  Eric: Um and it well, I think it it's and it'll make you fall in love with this tiny little town in Wales.
• 29:24
  Eric: It'll make you fall in love with this team.
• 29:26
  Eric: That's what it did to me.
• 29:28
  Eric: I'm obsessed with them.
• 29:30
  Eric: FX and Hulu are owned by Disney.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the fold, my brother.
• 29:40
  Eric: So my obsession that has happened with Rex MAFC, just got promoted to League Two, by the way.
• 29:47
  Eric: Um, my obsession with them and this glorious team.
• 29:52
  Eric: What I'm asking you, Eric, is does that make me a Disney adult?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: You are 100% a Disney adult.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew, welcome to the fold.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was even gonna, I was gonna joke that now, really, the only quality we really just gotta discuss what makes someone not a Disney adult.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was gonna say, if you don't have a pulse, you're no longer a Disney adult.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's now the bar.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: But even then, Matt, even then, you know they regularly have to sweep the haunted mansion for human remains.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: People dump ashes on that ride at regularly enough intervals that they have to clean them out.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: So not even death can save you from being a Disney adult.
• 30:28
  Eric: I think I'm having a horrible realization, Eric.
• 30:30
  Eric: What?
• 30:31
  Eric: I think we're all Disney adults.
• 30:34
  Eric: I think we're all Disney adults, Matt.
• 30:36
  Eric: I think Disney has bought adulthood.
• 30:40
  Eric: They've conquered childhood.
• 30:43
  Eric: They've conquered humanity.
• 30:45
  Eric: Now they they've already conquered childhood long ago.
• 30:48
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 30:49
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 30:50
  Eric: And so now they unknowingly to us snuck into adulthood.
• 30:55
  Eric: Motherfucker.
• 30:57
  Eric: Damn it, Walt, you're good.
• 30:59
  Eric: Damn, Walt.
• 31:00
  Eric: Damn.
• 31:00
  Eric: Damn, Walt Damn Walt.
• 31:06
  Eric: Should we move on to it?
• 31:07
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 31:09
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:11
  Eric: I don't know if we answered it or not, but we're fucking moving on.
• 31:14
  Eric: And this one is from our good friend at Dairy King11 on Instagram.
• 31:19
  Eric: All hail to king, baby.
• 31:20
  Eric: And ever since I saw this tweet come in, I've been obsessed with it.
• 31:26
  Eric: How important do you have to be to be considered assassinated and not just murdered?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is the right into my fucking veins, Dairy King.
• 31:40
  Eric: This is the shit I want.
• 31:42
  Eric: This is the shit I need.
• 31:44
  Eric: Oh.
• 31:45
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 31:46
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 31:48
  Eric: And the first place I'm going to go to is a, as as I do with many things, a musical.
• 31:53
  Eric: And that musical is Assassins by Stephen Sonna.
• 31:56
  Eric: And as John Wilkes Booth defines it in that musical to Lee Harvey Oswald, if you don't know anything about assassins, I'm not going to tell you anything more.
• 32:06
  Eric: I want you to bask in your own confusion by the sentence I just said.
• 32:11
  Eric: But when John Wilkesbooth is talking to Lee Harvey Oswald, he says, um So there I was murdering Lincoln.
• 32:18
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 32:19
  Eric: They're talking about Caesar, and they say, and he says, uh Murder is a tawdry, little crime.
• 32:27
  Eric: Adulterers and shopkeepers are murdered.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: But when a president is killed, when Julius Caesar is killed, he was assassinated.
• 32:41
  Eric: And that is the level.
• 32:43
  Eric: That is the level that we have to examine.
• 32:46
  Eric: What is the difference between someone being murdered in what uh uh a fictionalized version of a very famous assassin has to say is a tawdry crime.
• 32:57
  Eric: What rises it to the level of assassination?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: That is the question.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, fun fact when Julius Caesar was assassinated, the word assassinate didn't even exist.
• 33:07
  Eric: No.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh made it up.
• 33:08
  Eric: It was invented by William Shakespeare.
• 33:10
  Eric: It was invented by William Shakespeare.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Largely considered to be the first usage of the word assassinate.
• 33:15
  Eric: That's true.
• 33:17
  Eric: That isn't bullshit, friends.
• 33:19
  Eric: You've learned something if you didn't know that.
• 33:21
  Eric: That's when what you get from two theater graduates.
• 33:25
  Eric: Boom! Robin Quinn.
• 33:27
  Eric: This one's for you.
• 33:29
  Eric: We know a thing or two about literally a thing or two.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just big shout out to my homies Wilson and Goldfarb, the ones, the real ones they know.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you know the real ones.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you know you know.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you know you know, a bunch of very in debt actors just punched the air.
• 33:46
  Eric: Punched the air backwards and forwards, go on.
• 33:50
  Eric: Man, this is narrow casting.
• 33:53
  Eric: Continue.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: What I feel like if and this is true, this is true in both Lincoln and Caesar.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like if you are someone to whom after you get got, because you know, sometimes you get it, sometimes you get got.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you get got, and then someone runs out into the street and loudly announces just to the public at large, like they're like, like, Mache has been uh has been killed, you were just assassinated.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like if it prompts them to say your name has been killed to just to anyone that like if I have to go like if I find out and then I go into like a an a conference room, there's a bunch of people, everyone's like working really hard and like diligent in their stations.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: I open and I'm just like Matthew Shea has just been killed, and everyone stops.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then like a couple people take off their glasses and look at me, and then I look back at them and I'm like, keep the work going.
• 34:59
  Eric: And then they they they go back like you were assassinated.
• 35:02
  Eric: I think another yes, I think that's all true.
• 35:05
  Eric: I think an opening uh qualification of this is if it is like breaking news worthy that you were murdered, that you were assassinated.
• 35:19
  Eric: Specif if you're new specifically.
• 35:23
  Eric: Yes.
• 35:24
  Eric: But I think another way to think of it is if after your murder, if you if your murder causes ramifications for people outside of your family like to deal with geopolitically speaking, geopolitically, or just like I don't know, who's gonna run the company now that the CEO's been killed?
• 35:50
  Eric: You know, like that is a level that gets you to assassination.
• 35:55
  Eric: Yeah, and I wouldn't even say that it's just level of fame, because like if George Clooney, God forbid, got like That was Siri saying she didn't know how to respond to Siri talking shit?
• 36:08
  Eric: Yes.
• 36:10
  Eric: All right, Siri.
• 36:11
  Eric: I apologize.
• 36:12
  Eric: Siri, how fast can an ambulance get here for a phone?
• 36:14
  Eric: She can't hear you.
• 36:15
  Eric: You're an Android person.
• 36:16
  Eric: Wow.
• 36:17
  Eric: She doesn't respond to you.
• 36:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 36:19
  Eric: Person in massive air quotes to her.
• 36:21
  Eric: Um and to be.
• 36:24
  unknown: Wow.
• 36:25
  Eric: Wow.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but like if George Clooney, God forbid, got like someone like I don't think he's assassin.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think anyone would be like George Clooney was assassinated.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 36:40
  Eric: I don't think so.
• 36:41
  Eric: Well, I would.
• 36:42
  Eric: I okay.
• 36:44
  Eric: Okay.
• 36:46
  Eric: No, I I hear you.
• 36:48
  Eric: You see what I'm getting at, though?
• 36:49
  Eric: Like there's a I hear you.
• 36:51
  Eric: Thank you.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: God damn it.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 36:53
  Eric: Um I I think there is.
• 36:56
  Eric: It's true.
• 36:56
  Eric: If George Clooney was killed today, God forbid.
• 37:01
  Eric: God forbid.
• 37:01
  Eric: The I think there is a higher likelihood that the news will be George Clooney was murdered today rather than assassinated.
• 37:13
  Eric: Here's another question.
• 37:15
  Eric: No, I answered it.
• 37:16
  Eric: I was gonna say, does someone need to be hired to do the killing to make it isn't a is a hired assassin necessary, but that's not true.
• 37:25
  Eric: No, because but it does need it does require, oh, oh, oh, oh, that but you're you're about to hit it.
• 37:31
  Eric: Um if No, by all means, finish my thought.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: If it if it this isn't a minimum requirement, but if the killing involved planning and coordination between two or more people, regardless of who you were definitely assassinated.
• 37:51
  Eric: Like uh uh uh uh John Wilkes booth, he he like he had a whole like society like thing he was working with.
• 37:58
  Eric: He had a whole plan.
• 37:59
  Eric: Lee Harvey Oswald had the CIA helping him.
• 38:02
  Eric: Uh let's leave that one alone.
• 38:04
  Eric: But yeah, I got deeper thoughts on that.
• 38:07
  Eric: But yes.
• 38:09
  Eric: Sure.
• 38:09
  Eric: Uh that's the story.
• 38:11
  Eric: Uh, but like if if it was, yeah, coordinated two or more people involved in the planning, regardless of who did the deed, that's assassination, baby.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: But the question is, how important do you have to be?
• 38:24
  Eric: That is Darry King's actual question is how important do you have to be?
• 38:30
  Eric: And I think you have to be important enough that, like I like I was saying, that there is going to be consequences that a group of people who aren't directly related to you that have nothing to do with your funeral, nothing to do with solving your crime of who killed you.
• 38:53
  Eric: None of those are the consequences I'm talking about.
• 38:56
  Eric: I'm talking about like you have such a level of responsibility or a profile of such that that the stock market will be affected.
• 39:05
  Eric: That a business might crumble if people don't figure out who's doing what.
• 39:10
  Eric: Yes.
• 39:10
  Eric: Those are qualifications of importance.
• 39:14
  Eric: Yes.
• 39:15
  Eric: Uh if in America, am I right?
• 39:20
  Eric: If you have a specialized mode of transport, Poatmobile, Air Force One, to to to protect you from a murder.
• 39:30
  Eric: Yeah, if you can't, if you can't buy a car without it being like needing to be like low-key converted into a tank, you're important enough to be assassinated.
• 39:41
  Eric: I would go even further to say, like, when you go out on the street, if you must have a security detail of some type, a s even if that is a singular bodyguard, if I see so much as an earpiece.
• 39:58
  Eric: That is important enough that you are an assassination target and not a murder victim.
• 40:03
  Eric: Yes.
• 40:04
  Eric: I think I think we're kind of hitting it, my guy.
• 40:06
  Eric: I I think I think we I think we nailed it.
• 40:08
  Eric: Um I do just want to play a very quick game with you because I've been thinking about this whole time.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna start talking about this.
• 40:15
  Eric: I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start kind of at the top, like where we know we're definitely in assassination territory, and I'm just gonna move down.
• 40:22
  Eric: Tell me.
• 40:24
  Eric: Okay.
• 40:24
  Eric: So obviously, president.
• 40:26
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 40:27
  Eric: Vice president.
• 40:29
  Eric: Assassinated Speaker of the House.
• 40:31
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 40:32
  Eric: Member of Congress.
• 40:34
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 40:36
  Eric: Uh uh, mayor.
• 40:38
  Eric: I thought you were gonna take bigger jumps than this.
• 40:40
  Eric: Mayor.
• 40:40
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 40:42
  Eric: Sheriff.
• 40:43
  Eric: Definitely assassinated.
• 40:45
  Eric: No one kills a sheriff by accident, Eric.
• 40:47
  Eric: Sitting member of the Chamber of Commerce.
• 40:52
  Eric: Oh let's think about that.
• 40:55
  Eric: Okay.
• 40:56
  Eric: Let's first of all think about what a Chamber of Commerce does.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: I sat on the Glenburnie Chamber of Congress when I was.
• 41:04
  Eric: Oh, then you're not important enough to be assassinated.
• 41:05
  Eric: Uh yeah.
• 41:06
  Eric: That to give you any context, they let me.
• 41:09
  Eric: It was like a it was like a thing with my middle school or whatever.
• 41:13
  Eric: That was the that was the correct amount of context.
• 41:15
  Eric: That's a murder.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a murder.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's a murder.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's let's see if we could dial it back up just a little bit.
• 41:20
  Eric: Um local news weatherman.
• 41:26
  Eric: Hmm.
• 41:29
  Eric: That's a tough one.
• 41:31
  Eric: Who the fuck's gonna tell us the weather?
• 41:33
  Eric: I'm gonna ask a clarification question.
• 41:35
  Eric: Yeah.
• 41:36
  Eric: Did the death happen on air?
• 41:39
  Eric: Yes.
• 41:40
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 41:41
  Eric: Assassinated.
• 41:42
  Eric: That's a statement.
• 41:43
  Eric: That's but you bring up a very interesting thing, which is there's a certain level where context becomes the deciding thing.
• 41:51
  Eric: I I think that is correct.
• 41:53
  Eric: I think that is correct.
• 41:54
  Eric: I'm not saying it has to be a public killing to be an assassination.
• 41:58
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 42:00
  Eric: But the context is important.
• 42:02
  Eric: Yes.
• 42:03
  Eric: Alright, and here's one for you.
• 42:04
  Eric: Yeah.
• 42:05
  Eric: A PTA member.
• 42:07
  Eric: Ooh.
• 42:08
  Eric: During a meeting?
• 42:09
  Eric: Yeah, sure.
• 42:10
  Eric: During a meeting.
• 42:14
  Eric: No, that just sounds like the American school system.
• 42:16
  Eric: Murdered.
• 42:17
  Eric: Okay.
• 42:17
  Eric: Okay.
• 42:18
  Eric: The president of the PTA.
• 42:21
  Eric: Ooh.
• 42:22
  Eric: During a speech.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: During a speech.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Was the killing done by another member of the PTA?
• 42:30
  Eric: No, it was done by someone who took a podium to make a statement to the PTA.
• 42:36
  Eric: Oh, assassinated.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you were if your death was in furtherance of a of like if it was to Of a cause.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: Of a cause to s to air quotes send a message, like it you were assassinated.
• 42:50
  Eric: I agree.
• 42:51
  Eric: Yes.
• 42:52
  Eric: Simple revenge doesn't count.
• 42:53
  Eric: That's not a message.
• 42:54
  Eric: No.
• 42:55
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 42:56
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:57
  Eric: When you are trying to kill an idea along with a human being, that is an assassination.
• 43:03
  Eric: And that is why, Eric, when we are killed, we will have been assassinated.
• 43:09
  Eric: We will have been assassinated.
• 43:13
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 43:14
  Eric: Shall we move on?
• 43:15
  Eric: Yes.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: Our third question.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: This comes from one at Sarah Feldman on Instagram.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Sarah.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very good friend of mine.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, as you can tell by the fact that we are Facebook friends uh now.
• 43:34
  Eric: How would the audience be telling that, Eric?
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, they can't.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's very exclusive.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: Read the question.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah and I each only have one friend on Facebook.
• 43:42
  Eric: It is each other.
• 43:43
  Eric: Um read the question.
• 43:45
  Eric: How do you find a job as an evil villain's assistant?
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: Eviljobs.com?
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's the going rate these days?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: So we're talking evil villains assistant.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: I
• 44:00
  Eric: Would henchman.
• 44:01
  Eric: I think henchman.
• 44:02
  Eric: I would say evil.
• 44:04
  Eric: This kind of goes along with our James Bond villain conversation a little while ago.
• 44:07
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:08
  Eric: Of the difference between a villain and a henchman.
• 44:10
  Eric: I think there's also another tier in there to explore where in like put it in the Austin Powers terms, there's like number two.
• 44:19
  Eric: He's not a henchman.
• 44:20
  Eric: No.
• 44:20
  Eric: He's technically a villain, but he's number two.
• 44:24
  Eric: He's number two.
• 44:25
  Eric: He's the Iago of the situation.
• 44:27
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:28
  Eric: He's he's a named character.
• 44:30
  Eric: He's technically a villain.
• 44:32
  Eric: I think.
• 44:33
  Eric: You got your number two.
• 44:35
  Eric: You've got your you've got your satellites to the villain, but they're not the villain.
• 44:39
  Eric: Number two is not the villain's assistant.
• 44:41
  Eric: But I think she's talking about henchmen.
• 44:44
  Eric: I think she's talking about henchmen.
• 44:47
  Eric: We're not talking about goons.
• 44:48
  Eric: That's low.
• 44:49
  Eric: That's street level.
• 44:50
  Eric: We're talking henchmen.
• 44:53
  Eric: We're talking they will be talking about goons.
• 44:56
  Eric: Well, I there's a difference for me.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: Goons are the ones who are like out on the streets wearing the Joker clown makeup and like roughing up old ladies for their purses.
• 45:07
  Eric: To put this in what I hope is a universal context, Shredder is the villain.
• 45:13
  Eric: The Foot Clan themselves are goons.
• 45:18
  Eric: They are goons, but the big bald, like, ooh, dude, that's henchman.
• 45:23
  Eric: Henchman.
• 45:23
  Eric: Henchman.
• 45:24
  Eric: Henchman.
• 45:25
  Eric: And and the sub-villains, the uh, you know, um uh Bebop Rocksteady.
• 45:31
  Eric: Bebop rocksteady.
• 45:33
  Eric: Well, uh Kang is his own villain.
• 45:35
  Eric: But the Krang, yes, thank you.
• 45:38
  Eric: The put respect on his name.
• 45:40
  Eric: Thank you.
• 45:40
  Eric: Well, on his brain.
• 45:42
  Eric: The the all these people they are henchmen.
• 45:50
  Eric: Yes.
• 45:50
  Eric: Anyone who can give an order to a nameless, possibly faceless person.
• 45:56
  Eric: Yes.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: That is the henchman is the henchman is the one like after after Shredder's plans have been foiled, like, and he's like clearly fuming in rage.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like the henchman is the one that turns to the foot and says, Find them! Like, like, like that's like spread out.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like they're like exactly.
• 46:14
  Eric: Yes.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're also usually the ones that get killed, like in a very offhand way.
• 46:22
  Eric: Like they're the one where like they're they are beating the shit out of the out of the superhero, and then the superhero like kicks them off of them and like and like is like, see you later, and like throws them a grenade pin and looks at him and goes, what son of a or even more so, there's like a fight or whatever that they're supervising, and a big piece of debris from the hero villain fight happens to fall where they're standing.
• 46:50
  Eric: Yes.
• 46:50
  Eric: That's a classic henchman.
• 46:52
  Eric: Classic henchman.
• 46:53
  Eric: So how do you find a job as a henchman?
• 46:57
  Eric: What and what is the going rate?
• 47:00
  Eric: I think it's I don't think it is necessarily that you find a job.
• 47:05
  Eric: You're not going on Indeed to find these positions.
• 47:09
  Eric: These positions have to come to you to a certain extent.
• 47:13
  Eric: Yes.
• 47:13
  Eric: They're invite only.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: They're invite only, and like you need to you need to display some very antisocial, very like tendencies that would that the villain would find attractive.
• 47:29
  Eric: Well, more than that, I think you need to be doing some sort of service for the villain ahead of time.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 47:36
  Eric: Uh maybe you're, you know, maybe it starts with simple favors, you know.
• 47:40
  Eric: Oh, hey, can you courier this package across the border?
• 47:44
  Eric: Can you, you know, take out this guy?
• 47:47
  Eric: Can you assassinate this man?
• 47:49
  Eric: You know, these types of tasks.
• 47:51
  Eric: And then once you establish trust, you're brought into the fold a little bit.
• 47:57
  Eric: Yes.
• 47:57
  Eric: You're you're trusted with your good job.
• 48:00
  Eric: At first, you're just a goon.
• 48:01
  Eric: You're always gonna be a goon.
• 48:02
  Eric: You always gotta start on the goon level.
• 48:05
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 48:06
  Eric: But like, yeah, once you, I would say once you have not died, that's a that's a huge qualifier.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um huge qualifier.
• 48:16
  Eric: Uh once you have, yeah, once you have done demonstrated loyalty is done paramount.
• 48:24
  Eric: There's a certain amount, there's a little amount of audacity required of a henchman.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like they gotta do something that like would get any of the other goons like summarily killed, but but makes the shredder go, I like this one.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 48:40
  Eric: That's when you're oh, and you have some sort of cool def like Jaws from James Bond, henchman.
• 48:47
  Eric: Absolutely, classic example of a henchman, notable trait.
• 48:50
  Eric: Yes, you need a nodal, like a kick-ass scar or a cybernetic limb.
• 48:55
  Eric: 100%, or just a really specific, cool gun.
• 49:00
  Eric: Yeah, or maybe you wear the exact same costume the goons wear, but you get a cape.
• 49:05
  Eric: Yes, exactly.
• 49:06
  Eric: You have some sash that goes around you.
• 49:09
  Eric: You get a bit of flair, you get a bit of flair.
• 49:13
  Eric: Or alternate, like I think another element of the henchman rather than the goon is like although they are more important, there's a certain laissez faire quality about them.
• 49:25
  Eric: They don't, yeah, they don't need this job.
• 49:28
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 49:29
  Eric: No, yeah.
• 49:30
  Eric: Oh, they're here for the fun of it.
• 49:32
  Eric: That's what they're projecting outwardly.
• 49:34
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:34
  Eric: Maybe they have a life debt to the villain.
• 49:37
  Eric: That could be true.
• 49:39
  Eric: But even if that's true, what they're projecting outwardly is this sort you would never know it.
• 49:44
  Eric: You'd never know it.
• 49:45
  Eric: No.
• 49:46
  Eric: Um, but then I would say a henchman is their loyalties are not dubious, but they are henchmen.
• 49:55
  Eric: They were goons.
• 49:57
  Eric: Like, and that's the point, right?
• 49:58
  Eric: So we take the henchmen out the goons, but you can't take the goon out the henchmen, right?
• 50:03
  Eric: Correct.
• 50:03
  Eric: Correct.
• 50:04
  Eric: But the question is simply, how does one find these jobs?
• 50:09
  Eric: And if that is the case, I don't think you necessarily find them.
• 50:14
  Eric: I think you're running in like an adjacent circle.
• 50:18
  Eric: Yep.
• 50:19
  Eric: And you sl you're maybe you're hired in like a mercenary capacity to be a guard, maybe you know, perform guard duty, perimeter duty, and slowly but surely, hey, we use that guy that one time, bring him back.
• 50:34
  Eric: Maybe he can be trusted at the at the mansion.
• 50:37
  Eric: Oh, oh, Matt, Matt, there's another angle we're not considering.
• 50:41
  Eric: Tell me now.
• 50:42
  Eric: This is this is kind of the advanced track to becoming a hence a henchman.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, high risk, high reward.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: You are a goon in a rival organization and or themed gang, and you betray that boss gang to the villain.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like if you're in a rival martial arts karate clan, yeah, in in the the Shredder verse, sure, and you like you like fucking like you kill your boss and present his body to Shredder, that's instant henchman.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's instant henchman.
• 51:24
  Eric: That's instant henchman with an asterisk.
• 51:28
  Eric: Yes.
• 51:28
  Eric: Because that, if I'm the villain, shows you're not very loyal.
• 51:34
  Eric: So like you're a good henchman, but you're not gonna be number two.
• 51:39
  Eric: I'm not trusting you in the in in the mansion necessarily.
• 51:44
  Eric: Always keeping him at claws length.
• 51:46
  Eric: Claw's length, exactly.
• 51:49
  Eric: Gotta keep an eye on him.
• 51:51
  Eric: And if there's a job that you're the henchman where, hey, uh, who are we gonna send for this boss?
• 51:58
  Eric: Because uh, they're probably gonna die on the train.
• 52:00
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 52:01
  Eric: James Bond is there and he's gonna fuck him up.
• 52:04
  Eric: Send Jerry.
• 52:05
  Eric: That's when Jerry.
• 52:07
  Eric: Send Jerry.
• 52:08
  Eric: Because if he does die, then you have to be say, then you have to say, well, he was a good man, but ultimately couldn't trust him.
• 52:15
  Eric: Yep, couldn't couldn't trust a rat.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:19
  Eric: So that's the pushback I give you on that.
• 52:20
  Eric: Okay.
• 52:21
  Eric: That's the caveat.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: It it's a henchmen, high risk, but not trusted.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: High reward.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_00: High risk, high reward.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so what's the going rate?
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_00: See, I think henchmen are not paying when you're a henchman, like a an established henchman, money kind of stops meaning things to you.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: At this point, it's it's you have a per you that's another key qualifier of a of a of a of a good henchman.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: They usually have their own axe to grind with someone or something, and the villain is elevating them and allowing them to pursue that.
• 52:58
  Eric: Yes.
• 52:59
  Eric: A good example of of like it's a little bit deeper than a henchman, but like early in the storyline, the hound in a song of ice and fire slash.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_00: Classic henchman.
• 53:11
  Eric: He's a henchman, but he has his own agenda.
• 53:14
  Eric: Yes.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he doesn't give a fuck, like he doesn't care about money.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't care, he just likes to kill things.
• 53:21
  Eric: If his relationship with the villain ended immediately, he'd be fine.
• 53:27
  Eric: Yeah, he'd go on being his own man.
• 53:29
  Eric: Wouldn't lose a wink of fucking sleep.
• 53:31
  Eric: Not a wink of sleep.
• 53:33
  Eric: So so I'd say the going rate is somewhere between like vendetta and like riches beyond your your wildest dreams.
• 53:43
  Eric: Like, because there are villains who are in it for the money, but there's also villains who could give a shit about the money.
• 53:48
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 53:49
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:50
  Eric: I think your going rate is is inversely proportional to the villains.
• 53:54
  Eric: If the villain's in it for the money, you're probably in it for the power.
• 53:57
  Eric: If the villain's in it for the power, you're in it for the money.
• 54:01
  Eric: Or just as you put a simple cut and dry revenge story here.
• 54:05
  Eric: We love a revenge.
• 54:06
  Eric: We love a revenge.
• 54:07
  Eric: We love a revenge in this house.
• 54:10
  Eric: We love vengeance on this podcast.
• 54:12
  Eric: I feel like I feel like you'd make a good villain.
• 54:15
  Eric: I'm pure henchman material.
• 54:17
  Eric: Eric, I have no problem saying that is our dynamic.
• 54:22
  Eric: That is what like that.
• 54:23
  Eric: When I try to explain our dynamic to people, we said it best.
• 54:26
  Eric: Like We said it.
• 54:28
  Eric: I know exactly what you're gonna say.
• 54:30
  Eric: Years ago, we were in an internship.
• 54:32
  Eric: Matt and I were I've been waiting 66 episodes for this story to pop up.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: I we were at an internship, we were like 20 years old, and I turned to Matt.
• 54:43
  Eric: We were a meeting was about to start.
• 54:46
  Eric: We and out of nowhere, I turn to Matt and I say, if this was Gilligan's Island, which one of us would be Skipper and which one of us would be Gilligan?
• 54:55
  Eric: And Matt gave me the most pregnant, meaningful look and says to me I believe I put my arm on a hand on your shoulder.
• 55:08
  Eric: You did.
• 55:09
  Eric: You did like as if consoling a child.
• 55:12
  Eric: A child after a softball loss, yes.
• 55:15
  Eric: Yes.
• 55:15
  Eric: And what did you say, Matt?
• 55:17
  Eric: I said to you, You're Gilligan.
• 55:21
  Eric: I'm Gilligan.
• 55:23
  Eric: I don't know what words I was expecting to come out of his mouth.
• 55:27
  Eric: I didn't, I didn't say I'm you are Gilligan.
• 55:30
  Eric: No, we both started laughing.
• 55:31
  Eric: I remember it very well.
• 55:32
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 55:33
  Eric: You asked me this question, and I went, I essentially went, Oh, Eric, you're Gilligan.
• 55:40
  Eric: And ever since then, we all know who I am.
• 55:45
  Eric: We'll just have moments where we look at each other, and Matt will say, You're Gilligan.
• 55:50
  Eric: You're Gilligan.
• 55:51
  Eric: I'm Gilligan.
• 55:53
  Eric: And you and this remains true.
• 55:55
  Eric: I had a dream.
• 55:56
  Eric: Gilligan was a henchman.
• 55:57
  Eric: Can we just that?
• 55:59
  Eric: Here's another way to put our dynamic.
• 56:01
  Eric: I had a dream once, and it's one of my favorite dreams of all time, and that says something.
• 56:07
  Eric: Where you and I were cast as Harry and Marv in a reboot of Home Alone.
• 56:15
  Eric: I was Harry, you were Marv.
• 56:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:18
  Eric: And that is how it should be.
• 56:21
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: The Harry and Marv dynamic is interesting.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're both henchmen for each other somehow.
• 56:27
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:27
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:28
  Eric: They're like henchmen partners.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're henchmen without a villain.
• 56:32
  Eric: You're you're you're pinky on brain.
• 56:34
  Eric: One Narf, Matthew.
• 56:39
  Eric: Narf.
• 56:40
  Eric: Let me let me say this.
• 56:41
  Eric: Narf.
• 56:42
  Eric: Narf.
• 56:42
  Eric: Let me be.
• 56:44
  Eric: Let me be perfectly clear.
• 56:46
  Eric: Narf.
• 56:50
  Eric: Oh man.
• 56:51
  Eric: You just said that I went into an Obama impression.
• 56:55
  Eric: Let me be perfectly clear.
• 56:56
  Eric: Uh uh Narf.
• 56:59
  Eric: Narf.
• 57:02
  Eric: All right.
• 57:03
  Eric: Did we did we answer the question?
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think we we knocked out of the park.
• 57:07
  Eric: I'm not sure we did.
• 57:09
  Eric: I think Sarah's gonna message us and be like, boys, I just have to I just have to tell you how good you did.
• 57:14
  Eric: And we're gonna do that.
• 57:15
  Eric: Well that you said and that's all we want.
• 57:17
  Eric: And Eric, I do hope.
• 57:19
  Eric: I do hope you're feeling good.
• 57:21
  Eric: Oh man.
• 57:22
  Eric: Oh.
• 57:22
  Eric: I do hope you're feeling good about yourself.
• 57:27
  Eric: Oh folks, we have arrived.
• 57:31
  Eric: It is time for the season finale, hopefully, of Google Gripes season two.
• 57:40
  Eric: If you're new to this segment.
• 57:42
  Eric: GG.
• 57:43
  Eric: If you're new to the show and new to this segment, Google Gripes is a segment where we read each other one-star Google reviews of well-known places.
• 57:52
  Eric: That's the only criteria.
• 57:54
  Eric: Well-known places.
• 57:55
  Eric: And the other person has to guess what relocation is being griped about.
• 58:00
  Eric: I won season one, and the current score after a goose egg in round two for me.
• 58:08
  Eric: I have come back to take the lead three to two, which means, Eric, you of these three locations need to get one and two to win.
• 58:20
  Eric: One to force a tie, two to win.
• 58:24
  Eric: Now, Eric, am I not a kind and fair soul?
• 58:29
  Eric: This is the worst part of the whole.
• 58:32
  Eric: I feel like I'm pretty efficient.
• 58:34
  Eric: I'm just like, all right, Matt, you ready?
• 58:36
  Eric: And I start reading them off.
• 58:37
  Eric: Matt, like a fucking true skipper fashion, true over here, just he swirls me around in his brandy glass before he gets to the fucking point.
• 58:49
  Eric: Three our tour.
• 58:52
  Eric: Uh here we go.
• 58:54
  Eric: You are no, you are a kind, you're a malevolent.
• 58:57
  Eric: Sorry, you're a benevolent uh god.
• 59:00
  Eric: All right, I'm gonna jump in.
• 59:02
  Eric: I do have a few notes this time around.
• 59:05
  Eric: Okay.
• 59:06
  Eric: Uh I'm gonna start.
• 59:07
  Eric: I am gonna start with what I feel is the easiest, but I am not necessarily putting the other two in hardest to difficult.
• 59:16
  Eric: They're both they're both decently difficult, but they have different elements associated with them.
• 59:22
  Eric: But let's start with the first one because if I'm being honest, Eric, if I'm being honest.
• 59:28
  Eric: You're being honest, I want you to get one of them.
• 59:31
  Eric: I want to get tell me that.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I fuck it up.
• 59:36
  Eric: You know I want, you know I got a flare for the dramatic.
• 59:39
  Eric: I want this to come down to the wire.
• 59:41
  Eric: I that's why I was so desperate to at least tie it up last time because I didn't want to be like, oh, we don't even need to go again because Eric already won.
• 59:49
  Eric: I want you to earn it.
• 59:50
  Eric: Okay.
• 59:50
  Eric: I want you to earn it.
• 59:51
  Eric: Okay.
• 59:51
  Eric: Are you ready, Eric?
• 59:53
  Eric: Oh, baby.
• 59:54
  Eric: Hit me.
• 59:55
  Eric: All right, here we go.
• 59:56
  Eric: Okay.
• 59:57
  Eric: Location number one, review number one.
• 1:00:00
  Eric: Doesn't represent blank.
• 1:00:02
  Eric: Don't go here.
• 1:00:04
  Eric: It's a ripoff.
• 1:00:05
  Eric: There are better observation decks.
• 1:00:08
  Eric: Got it?
• 1:00:09
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:00:10
  Eric: All right.
• 1:00:10
  Eric: Location number two.
• 1:00:12
  Eric: Yeah, you may have great views and a giant statue of King Kong, but it's certainly not a fun place to be when every single staff member was an absolute see you next Tuesday.
• 1:00:25
  Eric: They wrote that.
• 1:00:26
  Eric: They wrote that.
• 1:00:28
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:00:28
  Eric: Got to the point where they had rattled my cage so much that I became one back.
• 1:00:35
  Eric: Work on the attitude of your staff, and maybe I'll recommend my friends and family come here.
• 1:00:42
  Eric: Until then, I'll be at the edge, XX.
• 1:00:46
  Eric: Damn.
• 1:00:48
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 1:00:50
  Eric: Location number I mean review number three.
• 1:00:54
  Eric: And you know what, Eric?
• 1:00:55
  Eric: I don't want to give you too much, but I do feel I'd be doing this um review a little bit of an injustice to read this uh straight.
• 1:01:05
  Eric: So let me give it what I feel is the appropriate uh reading.
• 1:01:09
  Eric: Uh oh, yes, please.
• 1:01:10
  Eric: Would that be alright with you?
• 1:01:11
  Eric: That would be all right with me.
• 1:01:12
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:01:13
  Eric: Born and raised in blank.
• 1:01:15
  Eric: I'm sickened that the management of this building would ever light the top and celebrate outside teams.
• 1:01:23
  Eric: That's wrong.
• 1:01:25
  Eric: No city building manager in other states would ever celebrate the blank or the blank, their colors.
• 1:01:33
  Eric: Blank should have the person in charge fired.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'll never visit this building again until there is new management.
• 1:01:42
  Eric: That was kick ass.
• 1:01:44
  Eric: Thank you.
• 1:01:45
  Eric: Those are your three reviews, Eric.
• 1:01:47
  Eric: I'm just gonna say it.
• 1:01:48
  Eric: Are you gonna you're gonna lock it in?
• 1:01:50
  Eric: Cole hole.
• 1:01:52
  Eric: No discussion.
• 1:01:54
  Eric: You feel confident about it, go for it.
• 1:01:57
  Eric: You got two more reviews.
• 1:01:58
  Eric: I mean two more locations.
• 1:01:59
  Eric: Fuck it.
• 1:02:00
  Eric: Empire State Building.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: Empire State Building.
• 1:02:03
  Eric: You're gonna lock that in?
• 1:02:04
  Eric: I'm gonna lock that in.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: So glad you did.
• 1:02:08
  Eric: It's right, baby.
• 1:02:09
  Eric: It's the Empire State Building.
• 1:02:12
  Eric: We And let's be honest, we had to get it out of the way.
• 1:02:15
  Eric: I mean, uh we had to get that one out of the way.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I heard King Hong was like, it almost seemed too it what was fucking me up is it almost seemed too as soon as I heard like King Kong, New York accent, I admitted it.
• 1:02:30
  Eric: I wanted you to get it.
• 1:02:32
  Eric: You motherfucker, don't you don't you give me your pity?
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:02:36
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 1:02:37
  Eric: I'm not giving you a pity or anything like that, if that's what you were trying to say.
• 1:02:42
  Eric: I wanted to make sure it was tied.
• 1:02:44
  Eric: It's 3-3.
• 1:02:46
  Eric: So now at a minimum we are tied.
• 1:02:48
  Eric: At a minimum we are tied.
• 1:02:50
  Eric: At a minimum we're tied, and we'd have to deal with it.
• 1:02:53
  Eric: And this next one, Eric, this is what it terrifies me that you're doing this.
• 1:02:58
  Eric: This is well, this next one, and I put this one second for a reason.
• 1:03:01
  Eric: Because, you know, the last time I went, I didn't really feel like I gave you an equitable location to the Hadron Collider.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_00: The large Hadron Collider, CERN International Organization, well known and beloved by all.
• 1:03:15
  Eric: Yeah, I didn't feel like I gave you a good equal representation.
• 1:03:18
  Eric: So this is this is my Higron-esque collider location.
• 1:03:23
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:03:24
  Eric: That's why you did Empire Tower, uh Empire State Building, like, because you just you want to be you want to follow up that vicious, like, ooh, okay, okay, okay.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 1:03:34
  Eric: I saw people in a way I've I've done the pattern we've established.
• 1:03:38
  Eric: I started easier and went harder.
• 1:03:41
  Eric: The only difference is I feel I'm making a uh giant leap in difficulty.
• 1:03:46
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:03:47
  Eric: But Eric, you can win it right here.
• 1:03:50
  Eric: I have no opportunity to win it.
• 1:03:52
  Eric: You have two opportunities to win it.
• 1:03:55
  Eric: Are you ready?
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_03: God, this I said, are you ready?
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_03: You motherfucker.
• 1:04:04
  Eric: Review number one.
• 1:04:06
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:04:07
  Eric: Makes you wonder what else has been built that we can't see.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's review number one.
• 1:04:14
  Eric: Review number two.
• 1:04:16
  Eric: Oh, you bastard.
• 1:04:18
  Eric: Save the seeds to create an F1 plant.
• 1:04:22
  Eric: The game ends at a time when the system of the universe is not as tolerant of humanity as some supposedly superior humans think.
• 1:04:33
  Eric: Review number three of four.
• 1:04:36
  Eric: I'm giving you a fourth.
• 1:04:38
  Eric: You're giving me a fourth?
• 1:04:39
  Eric: Yes, because review number three is it was too cold.
• 1:04:49
  Eric: All right.
• 1:04:50
  Eric: And are you ready for review number four?
• 1:04:52
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:04:52
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:04:52
  Eric: Eric, I'd like you to close your eyes for this one.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm I'm in my mind, Dallas.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_03: There is reason.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_03: There is logic.
• 1:05:03
  Eric: When the apocalypse breaks, all living things will die anyway.
• 1:05:12
  Eric: Winky emoji.
• 1:05:16
  Eric: That's it?
• 1:05:17
  Eric: Those are your reviews, Eric.
• 1:05:18
  Eric: Give me review number one again.
• 1:05:21
  Eric: I I'm being fair to you.
• 1:05:23
  Eric: I went over these reviews many times, and I do think it is possible.
• 1:05:28
  Eric: Review number one.
• 1:05:29
  Eric: Makes you wonder what else has been built that we can't see.
• 1:05:35
  Eric: Any others you'd like again?
• 1:05:37
  Eric: They're short enough, I'll give it to you again.
• 1:05:39
  SPEAKER_03: The second.
• 1:05:42
  Eric: Save the seeds to create an F1 plant.
• 1:05:46
  Eric: The game ends at a time when the system of the universe is not as tolerant of humanity as some supposedly superior humans think.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_03: Save the seeds.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think I know.
• 1:05:56
  SPEAKER_00: So this sounds to me like some sort of doomed.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: Day prepper like thing.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm there's several things coming to mind, and now I'm trying to remember if they're in the same place.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is this I I can't remember the official name for it.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is I'm just gonna say it, is this the international seed bank?
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like the for like the the play, like the repository of of seeds and and flora that like that is like stowed away deep.
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I there's a place that does this.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember what it's called.
• 1:06:29
  Eric: But they're like literally they gather seeds.
• 1:06:32
  Eric: I I under I understand what you're going for here, Eric.
• 1:06:35
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:06:36
  Eric: Can you give me a location where this is in the world?
• 1:06:39
  Eric: It's in a mountain.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's like in a it is in it, it's like it's like a pl it's it's like a fucking apocalypse nuclear fallout bunker that was like built into a fucking mountain and they have a seed bank.
• 1:06:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's basically there, like, hey, if we fuck up too hard, this is where we're gonna restart humanity from.
• 1:06:55
  Eric: Okay, okay.
• 1:06:57
  Eric: Are you locking this answer in, Eric?
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm locking this word salad in.
• 1:07:03
  Eric: Eric, we are talking about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, or as it is colloquially named, the Doomsday Vault.
• 1:07:14
  Eric: Eric, I'm giving it to you.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm giving it to you, baby!
• 1:07:19
  Eric: Yes! Victory is yours, Eric.
• 1:07:24
  Eric: You did it.
• 1:07:24
  Eric: You did it.
• 1:07:25
  Eric: I didn't think you'd do it.
• 1:07:27
  Eric: I didn't think you'd do it.
• 1:07:28
  Eric: I truly thought it was a little too hard.
• 1:07:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, Matt, no, I f I what do you think I do at work?
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_00: I go down on Wikipedia rabbit holes with dude uh about fucking clear Holocausts.
• 1:07:41
  Eric: It's in the Arctic.
• 1:07:42
  Eric: It's in the Arctic.
• 1:07:43
  Eric: Hell yeah.
• 1:07:44
  Eric: It's in the hell ice.
• 1:07:46
  Eric: That's why it's too cold.
• 1:07:48
  Eric: And I had to give you these short reviews because really there's only like two other one-star reviews.
• 1:07:53
  Eric: It was it was it was pretty slim pickings.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_00: You could be building the you could be building the cradle of humanity after we've blown ourselves off the face of the earth and someone still tell you it's too cold in there.
• 1:08:06
  Eric: Now, Eric, you've won season two, my friend.
• 1:08:10
  unknown: I've won.
• 1:08:11
  Eric: Do you want your third look?
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew, Matt, in what world do I not try to go for this turkey?
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do I try to not go for this hat, right?
• 1:08:19
  Eric: Not you, because so so you want to make it so right now it's four three U.
• 1:08:24
  Eric: You want to just you want to try to insult me by getting five three.
• 1:08:28
  Eric: Is that it?
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:29
  Eric: All right, here we go.
• 1:08:30
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:08:31
  Eric: Location number three, review number one.
• 1:08:34
  Eric: And uh what I was gonna say before is that last one, Eric, all short reviews.
• 1:08:39
  Eric: This one, on the other hand.
• 1:08:43
  Eric: Review number one.
• 1:08:45
  Eric: The worst management of a touristic place.
• 1:08:49
  Eric: First of all, to get to Blank is a nightmare and really expensive.
• 1:08:54
  Eric: Now, Blank is divided in four circuits, and each circuit costs around 50 currency units.
• 1:09:02
  Eric: And the entrance to the bathroom is two currency units.
• 1:09:07
  Eric: It is a disaster to take the bus in nearby city, disorganization and infinite line.
• 1:09:14
  Eric: At the entrance of blank, Q to enter the complex, Q to the bathroom, Q to take the bus to go back to nearby city.
• 1:09:24
  Eric: Inside blank, almost impossible to take a decent picture or just to take a moment to admire the place because all is extremely crowded.
• 1:09:34
  Eric: Guides and guards are yelling at people to keep walking.
• 1:09:39
  Eric: Everything is closed, and you can just follow the line.
• 1:09:43
  Eric: An absurd rule: you can't use an umbrella.
• 1:09:46
  Eric: Round trip to get to Blank is about 10 hours and 30 minutes, and you can only stay up to four hours inside per circuit.
• 1:09:57
  Eric: I only stayed two hours and 45 minutes in circuit one.
• 1:10:01
  Eric: Blank is an amazing place, but not worth it because of the poor management.
• 1:10:06
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:10:07
  Eric: Review number two.
• 1:10:09
  Eric: And I'm going to uh after the first four words, I'm going to insert a little pause.
• 1:10:15
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:10:16
  unknown: Okay.
• 1:10:17
  Eric: As a white man.
• 1:10:19
  Eric: Oh, god damn it.
• 1:10:21
  Eric: This site made me feel insecure about my lack of culture.
• 1:10:26
  Eric: Why do the Sorry.
• 1:10:30
  Eric: Wow, he said it out loud.
• 1:10:32
  Eric: Why do the Brazilians get this awesome ancient structure while I have nothing?
• 1:10:38
  Eric: It isn't fair.
• 1:10:40
  Eric: Those snooty Brazilians were constantly trying to show how much better their culture was than mine with pamphlets, with audio guides, and tours.
• 1:10:50
  Eric: It got very old very fast.
• 1:10:53
  Eric: Negative seven stars.
• 1:10:56
  Eric: Eric, I have to give you a little bit of an asterisk here.
• 1:11:00
  Eric: This location is not in Brazil.
• 1:11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that was going to be my.
• 1:13:14
  Eric: Those aren't my I ha I must clarify it.
• 1:13:16
  Eric: It's not my words.
• 1:13:17
  Eric: These are not my words.
• 1:13:18
  Eric: I know, I know.
• 1:13:18
  Eric: But I just like I I for all my for all my Lululads and Lasses and uh for everyone within and without Lululemon.
• 1:13:27
  Eric: We stand Lululemon, my Lululads, my Lululasses, and all my Lulu outside and within the All right, Eric.
• 1:13:35
  Eric: That's enough of the apologist tour.
• 1:13:37
  Eric: That's enough buying time.
• 1:13:38
  Eric: Let's get down to it.
• 1:13:40
  Eric: Um you've already won, so let's not drag this out.
• 1:13:43
  Eric: What do you think?
• 1:13:44
  Eric: I know it's I am fairly confident it's in Europe because you have to pay to shit.
• 1:13:49
  Eric: Um someone referred to it as going on holiday.
• 1:13:53
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:13:53
  Eric: There's a plateau.
• 1:13:55
  Eric: It gives it it it feels like Brazil to white men.
• 1:14:00
  Eric: Um lots of tourists, lots of influencers.
• 1:14:04
  Eric: Uh I'm going to say fuck.
• 1:14:12
  Eric: Um 10-hour round trip to get there.
• 1:14:17
  Eric: Yeah, that's a pretty big hint.
• 1:14:18
  Eric: Oh, that was a pretty big hint, one.
• 1:14:21
  Eric: Tell you what, Eric.
• 1:14:23
  Eric: Since you've already won and I've already lost, I'm in a generous and benevolent mood as I usually am.
• 1:14:29
  Eric: I'm gonna give you another hint.
• 1:14:31
  Eric: What?
• 1:14:31
  Eric: But the hint is gonna come from you.
• 1:14:35
  Eric: From your own mouth.
• 1:14:37
  Eric: You just said it feels like Brazil to a white man.
• 1:14:43
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like Brazil to a white man.
• 1:14:46
  Eric: Go with that.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna explore this thought.
• 1:14:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna explore this thought.
• 1:14:51
  Eric: Would you like me to read any of them again?
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
• 1:14:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, God, no.
• 1:14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to um, I'm trying to like enter, you know, like like an actor prepares.
• 1:15:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to enter like the mind space, if I'm able, of a white man.
• 1:15:05
  Eric: What is that like?
• 1:15:06
  Eric: What could it be like up there?
• 1:15:08
  Eric: What could it oh again?
• 1:15:13
  Eric: You've already won, so I know.
• 1:15:15
  Eric: It feels like any fucking day now.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh fuck.
• 1:15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was an ignorant ass white boy.
• 1:15:28
  Eric: What would I believe like I know we're we're in hypothetical landing.
• 1:15:35
  Eric: I know we're really taking a trip into Fantasy Island.
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_03: I was a privileged and dumb, dumb white boy.
• 1:15:43
  SPEAKER_03: What would I think?
• 1:15:44
  SPEAKER_03: What would you think?
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_03: What place would I see and go, mmm, Brazil?
• 1:15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh despite the fact that I'm probably never.
• 1:15:56
  Eric: There were other hints in these reviews.
• 1:15:59
  Eric: There were there other than racism.
• 1:16:06
  SPEAKER_00: But much man.
• 1:16:11
  Eric: Oh, what'd you say?
• 1:16:12
  Eric: Oh, uh no, sorry.
• 1:16:14
  Eric: You were you were about to weigh in.
• 1:16:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, I I wasn't.
• 1:16:17
  Eric: Uh I was I was gonna say, I believe I said something about fluffy alpaca faces.
• 1:16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Fluffy alpaca faces, okay.
• 1:16:24
  Eric: You might want to noodle on that.
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, then I think I might be wrong in thinking this is there.
• 1:16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe he's in South America, but maybe he thinks he's in Brazil.
• 1:16:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm gonna uh fucking I don't know, man.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, watch this.
• 1:16:41
  Eric: I don't know, man, and then you're gonna throw out the right answer.
• 1:16:43
  Eric: That's I know um fucking playing humble with me.
• 1:16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Fuzzy alpaca faces.
• 1:16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say was this motherfucker in like Nepal?
• 1:16:53
  SPEAKER_00: But like where uh uh di bit bit bit bit bit Oh, was it is this the Mount Everest base camp?
• 1:17:02
  Eric: Could be, could be.
• 1:17:06
  Eric: Who's to say besides who's to say me?
• 1:17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I yeah, I've got nothing, and I'm only gonna look like a dumb, stupid, ignorant asshole who's already won.
• 1:17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I'm I'm just gonna like I'm gonna wing it.
• 1:17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna say, yeah, the Mount Everest Base Camp.
• 1:17:25
  Eric: Mount Everest Base Camp.
• 1:17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:17:28
  Eric: That's incorrect, Eric.
• 1:17:29
  Eric: That is incorrect.
• 1:17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Was it in South America?
• 1:17:33
  Eric: I told you, Eric, it wasn't in Brazil.
• 1:17:36
  Eric: Okay, but that doesn't mean it was far from Brazil.
• 1:17:40
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 1:17:41
  Eric: We're talking about Machu Picchu.
• 1:17:46
  Eric: Motherfuckers.
• 1:17:48
  Eric: Oh.
• 1:17:49
  Eric: Ten and a half hours to drag your ass up that mountain.
• 1:17:54
  Eric: Do you know what's funny?
• 1:17:55
  Eric: I don't know which of the first.
• 1:17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I uh I think for a second, like for the second location, Machu Picchu occurred to me.
• 1:18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't even I think it's because I'd already just for the seed bank.
• 1:18:07
  SPEAKER_00: For the seed bank.
• 1:18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 1:18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to remember what aspects of it.
• 1:18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they was like, is he talking about motherfucking Machu Picchu?
• 1:18:13
  Eric: Yeah, man.
• 1:18:14
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, oh, wait, no.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, no, no.
• 1:18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh.
• 1:18:17
  Eric: Eric, you already got it wrong.
• 1:18:19
  Eric: I already got it wrong.
• 1:18:20
  Eric: I know.
• 1:18:20
  Eric: But what were you?
• 1:18:22
  Eric: What could you possibly be reacting to?
• 1:18:24
  Eric: I am a stupid, dumb, ignorant asshole.
• 1:18:26
  Eric: I didn't think that's a good one.
• 1:18:26
  Eric: Yeah, but what are you reacting to?
• 1:18:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm reacting because when you when you were with the thing that was mentioning Brazil, remember that dumb, white, ignorant guy was was saying, Oh, yeah, this is Brazil.
• 1:18:38
  Eric: My brain went like, oh, I wonder if it's Machu Picchu.
• 1:18:42
  Eric: Because that's in Brazil.
• 1:18:43
  Eric: No, buddy, it's in Peru.
• 1:18:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's in Brazil, right?
• 1:18:46
  Eric: It's in Peru.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's in Peru.
• 1:18:49
  Eric: Solidly in Peru.
• 1:18:50
  Eric: It's mega in Peru for all my Peruvian uh homies.
• 1:18:57
  Eric: I just want you to know.
• 1:18:59
  Eric: Uh I know.
• 1:19:01
  Eric: I know what I am.
• 1:19:02
  Eric: And what you are, Eric.
• 1:19:04
  Eric: I had it.
• 1:19:05
  Eric: I had it and I dropped it because I I delved so deeply into the role of ignorant white man.
• 1:19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, right, Eric.
• 1:19:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm getting some real Heath Ledger vibe.
• 1:19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I couldn't pull myself out of it.
• 1:19:19
  SPEAKER_00: You have so method.
• 1:19:20
  Eric: We are the victor, Eric, of season two.
• 1:19:24
  Eric: In terms of season victories, in terms of championship titles, we are tied at one, baby, after two seasons.
• 1:19:31
  Eric: Wait, do we have a mega tie going right now?
• 1:19:34
  Eric: Well, we just have an all-time career tie.
• 1:19:37
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:19:38
  Eric: We don't have to make a big deal out of it.
• 1:19:40
  Eric: Uh yeah, why make a big deal out of drawing even?
• 1:19:43
  Eric: So uh that really puts the uh I guess I really put the emphasis on season three.
• 1:19:50
  Eric: If if we are, in fact, to continue this segment.
• 1:19:54
  Eric: Listeners, I guess you'll have to tell us if you want us to continue, although I have a sneaking suspicion what you're gonna say.
• 1:20:01
  Eric: So that'll do it for season two of Google Gripes.
• 1:20:05
  Eric: Congratulations, Eric.
• 1:20:07
  Eric: And that'll do it for season.
• 1:20:09
  Eric: I mean, that'll do it for this episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:20:15
  Eric: Uh, Eric?
• 1:20:17
  Eric: Matt, yeah.
• 1:20:18
  Eric: Give him the business.
• 1:20:19
  Eric: I shall.
• 1:20:20
  Eric: I was just about to do so.
• 1:20:21
  Eric: Listen, folks, if you want your qu if you've got a question, a dumb one, that you want us to read on this show, that you want us to answer, that you want our brains to be lended to, then you're gonna have to submit it.
• 1:20:36
  Eric: And you can submit it to us at you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 1:20:39
  Eric: That's all spelled out, you didn't ask for this at gmail.com or you didn't ask pod.
• 1:20:44
  Eric: That is the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube.
• 1:20:50
  Eric: Comment it, DM us, do whatever it takes to grab our attention, tweet at us, tweet at other people who've submitted questions.
• 1:20:59
  Eric: Do whatever you gotta do to get us the information.
• 1:21:02
  Eric: And it doesn't have to be questions.
• 1:21:04
  Eric: You can submit your local legends, you can submit your neighborhood drama.
• 1:21:08
  Eric: We haven't had a uh neighborhood watch in a little bit.
• 1:21:11
  Eric: Uh you can uh submit all kinds of stuff.
• 1:21:13
  Eric: You can also give us voicemails on the thought line at 410-929-5329.
• 1:21:21
  Eric: We'll play your voicemail on the show, we'll answer your question, we'll respond to your feedback, we'll leave you a job recommendation.
• 1:21:28
  Eric: What other bullshit am I forgetting, Eric?
• 1:21:30
  SPEAKER_00: We please, god damn it, I want to lie to someone's potential boss.
• 1:21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want to lie to employers.
• 1:21:39
  Eric: Please let me lie to employers for you.
• 1:21:41
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 1:21:42
  Eric: And uh I'll give you my piss.
• 1:21:45
  Eric: What?
• 1:21:46
  Eric: I'll give you my piss.
• 1:21:47
  Eric: Eric, I don't think your piss is any good.
• 1:21:49
  Eric: I don't think they want it.
• 1:21:50
  Eric: Oh.
• 1:21:52
  Eric: I don't think it's gonna pass muster, so to speak.
• 1:22:02
  Eric: So that said, I think that'll about do it for this episode of this rambling, somewhat incoherent episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:22:13
  Eric: For all of us here, my name is Matthew Shea.
• 1:22:15
  Eric: My name is Eric Poach.
• 1:22:17
  Eric: And listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:22:19
  Eric: But to any uh potential employers of mine who might be listening to the show, uh what you've just heard is a comedy podcast.
• 1:22:26
  SPEAKER_00: All events, descriptions of piss contained within it are purely works of fiction.
• 1:22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Any resemblance to piss, either living or dead or mine, is purely fictional.
• 1:22:37
  Eric: He said potential employers, he's looking for a job, people.
• 1:22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Tell his boss, tell his boss.