Latest / Sacred Men / Be Accountable in Everything You Do - Extreme Ownership in Your Vocation
Transcript
- 0:00What's up men? Welcome back to the Sacred Men
- 0:02YouTube channel. Before we dive in today, I want
- 0:06to talk to you about a certain scenario.
- 0:09You've probably lived some version of it.
- 0:14A project at work fails. Your team misses a deadline.
- 0:20Your boss calls you in. He says he's he sends you an
- 0:23e-mail. He says he needs to talk to you.
- 0:25And the first thing your mind does before you even sit down
- 0:30with the boss is start building your case.
- 0:35Supplier was late. The instructions were unclear.
- 0:39This guy on the team wasn't pulling his weight.
- 0:43The process was broken from the start.
- 0:46Does this sound familiar? Or maybe it's at home?
- 0:51You just snapped at your wife. You missed your son's game.
- 0:56You haven't opened your Bible in a week, and you always have a
- 1:00reason. Work's been brutal.
- 1:04Schedule has been impossible. Nobody understands the weight
- 1:10that I'm carrying, the stress that I'm under.
- 1:13Well, here is the good news, but the hard truth that I want to
- 1:18bring you today. And interestingly enough, we're
- 1:20going to start with a guy named Jocko Willink.
- 1:23This is what he says. On any team in any organization,
- 1:30all responsibility for success and failure rests with the
- 1:36leader. The leader must own everything
- 1:41in his or her world. There is no one else to blame.
- 1:47Now, if you don't know who Jocko is, Jocko Wilink is a retired
- 1:50Navy SEAL commander. He learned this lesson in the
- 1:54streets of Ramadi, Iraq, in the bloodiest urban combat Americans
- 2:00had seen in a generation. And he came home off the
- 2:03battlefield and realized this isn't just a military principle.
- 2:09This is a principle for every man who wants to lead well.
- 2:14But here's one thing that Jocko didn't know.
- 2:17This principle, what he calls extreme ownership, is as old as
- 2:21Genesis. It runs through the bones of the
- 2:25entire Reformed tradition. It runs through the Scriptures.
- 2:29It's what John Calvin was teaching in Geneva 500 years
- 2:32ago. It's what Martin Luther nailed
- 2:35to the that door in Wittenberg. And today, on Sacred Men, we're
- 2:39going to do something a little bit different.
- 2:40We're going to sit at the intersection of a Navy Seal's
- 2:44battlefield wisdom and our ancient theology of vocation.
- 2:51And we're going to talk about what it means to take extreme
- 2:54ownership in the calling God has given you.
- 2:58Well, you know me. I'm your host, Pastor Justin
- 3:00Dean, and welcome back to the channel.
- 3:02This whole channel is about building strong and virtuous men
- 3:05and a culture full of weak and effeminate ones.
- 3:09And today we're going to look at this idea of extreme ownership
- 3:14and how it relates to our doctrine of vocation.
- 3:16We've been kind of doing a mini series.
- 3:17The last three videos have all been on vocation, so let's get
- 3:21after it. Now, I know I've kind of built
- 3:23this up in last couple videos, but I want to do a short
- 3:26introduction here because before we can talk about owning your
- 3:30vocation, we need to recover the word itself.
- 3:34Because most of us, if we're honest, when we think about
- 3:36vocation, we only think about our job.
- 3:40But vocation comes from the Latin word vagatio means a
- 3:43calling, a summons, and the reformers took that word and did
- 3:48something explosive with it. See, before the Reformation, the
- 3:52dominant view in medieval Christendom was that the truly
- 3:56spiritual life was the life of the monk or the priest or the
- 4:00Bishop. So if you wanted to serve God
- 4:03seriously, you left the world, you entered the monastery, you
- 4:09took vows, right? Everyday workers, the work, you
- 4:14know, the Carpenter, the bricklayer, the merchant, these
- 4:17were second class citizens in the Kingdom of God.
- 4:21Well, Martin Luther blew that up.
- 4:25He said this in his letter to the Christian nobility of the
- 4:29German nation in 1520. He says a cobbler, that's a
- 4:32Shoemaker, a Smith, that's a metal worker, a peasant.
- 4:36Each has the work and office of his trade.
- 4:40And yet they are all alike consecrated priests and bishops,
- 4:46and everyone by means of his own work or office, must benefit and
- 4:49serve every other. I want you to hear that, he
- 4:53says. The Shoemaker making shoes is
- 4:56doing holy work just like the priest.
- 4:58Just like the monk. The farmer plowing a field is
- 5:02serving God as surely as a Bishop conducting Mass.
- 5:06Every legitimate calling is a sacred assignment from God to
- 5:12serve the world, to serve God, and to serve your neighbor's
- 5:15neighbor's good. Every honest day's work is an
- 5:19act of worship. Luther went even further.
- 5:22He said that the whole system of society, and he said society is
- 5:27made-up of three estates, the household, the church, and the
- 5:32civil order under the household. That that includes all economics
- 5:36and, you know, trade, being a merchant, buying and selling
- 5:39your trade, the household, the church and the civil order.
- 5:44He says these three estates were structures that God himself has
- 5:50ordained. And when you filled your role
- 5:52faithfully in any one of them, you are doing holy work.
- 5:56OK, so this is doctrine of vocation.
- 5:59This is the priesthood of all believers.
- 6:02And then John Calvin, he picks this up and he sharpens it to
- 6:06something even more powerful. Listen to this from the
- 6:10Institutes of the Christian Religion.
- 6:12He says this. The Lord bids each one of us in
- 6:17all life's actions to look to His calling.
- 6:21OK, so the Lord tells us, in everything we do, look to your
- 6:24calling. Each individual has his own kind
- 6:27of living assigned to him by the Lord as a sort of sentry post,
- 6:33so that he may not heedlessly wander about throughout life.
- 6:38He calls Our Calling a sentry post, our specific calling from
- 6:43God, a century post. Another translation calls it a
- 6:46station, your station in life. I love those images.
- 6:51It's saying God has placed you exactly where you are, your
- 6:56workplace, your family, your neighborhood, your church.
- 7:01These are not accidents. These are assignments like
- 7:05military orders that have come down from God and a century who
- 7:10abandons his post, or who blames his equipment, or who falls
- 7:15asleep on the job, or who points fingers at other soldiers while
- 7:19the enemy advances. That century is a failure,
- 7:23Calvin continues. It is enough to know that in
- 7:26everything the call of the Lord is the foundation and beginning
- 7:30of right action. The call of the Lord is the
- 7:34foundation of right action. Before you can do anything,
- 7:38well, anything that counts before God, you have to start by
- 7:43acknowledging His calling on your life and your specific
- 7:48station that He's assigned you to.
- 7:51Men, our vocation is not our identity.
- 7:55It's part of our identity, but it's not our identity.
- 7:58Our identity is found and the one who calls us, that's Christ.
- 8:03But your vocation is your assignment, right?
- 8:07It's the post that God has called you to, and God is
- 8:10watching how you handle it. If you're faithful with a
- 8:13little, he'll make you ruler over much, right?
- 8:16So let's tie this together. Doctrine of vocation.
- 8:20Now let's get to this principle of extreme ownership.
- 8:24Jocko steps back into the picture.
- 8:26In 2006, Jocko Willink commanded SEAL Task Unit Bruiser and
- 8:31Ramadi Iraq. One night in the chaos of urban
- 8:34combat, a tragic friendly fire incident nearly derailed the
- 8:39mission and cost American lives In the after action review,
- 8:44every leader had a reason why things went bad.
- 8:49Every person on the team had their own justification for why
- 8:53why they did what they did. The intelligence was wrong.
- 8:56The communication broke down. Another unit moved too fast.
- 8:59On, on, so on, you know, so on and so forth.
- 9:02Well, in the midst of that, Jocko stands up.
- 9:06And he said it was all my fault. Not his team's fault, not the
- 9:13other units fault. His As the commanding officer,
- 9:18he owned every failure that happened under his watch.
- 9:23Here's how he explains the principle.
- 9:25Extreme ownership. This is what it is.
- 9:28Leaders must own everything in their world.
- 9:31There is no one else to blame. The leader must acknowledge
- 9:34mistakes and shortcomings, must admit failures, must own the
- 9:38plan and resolve to get better. Now, this isn't some kind of
- 9:41false humility. Leaders must own everything in
- 9:46their world, right? This is strategic, clear eyed
- 9:51accountability. I'm the leader.
- 9:54The weight of responsibility rests on my shoulders.
- 9:57Jocko understood that the moment a leader starts deflecting
- 10:02blame, he loses the ability to fix the problem because he's no
- 10:07longer looking at what he can control.
- 10:09So if this guy screwed everything up, well, I can never
- 10:11control this guy. I can never make this guy do his
- 10:13job. So now the control of the
- 10:16operation, the control of the team is, no, I'm no longer in
- 10:19control, right? Some other guy is.
- 10:22So you can't just look at what everyone else did wrong.
- 10:25If you want to control the situation, you got to look at
- 10:27what did I do? Like, the weight of
- 10:29responsibility is on me. And here's the other side of the
- 10:33coin that Jocko names. He calls it.
- 10:35And this one's going to hurt. He calls it, no bad teams, only
- 10:40bad leaders, right? This is a principle.
- 10:43No bad teams, only bad leaders, He says it's not what you
- 10:49preach. It's what you tolerate.
- 10:53Now, that quote should hit us like an NFL linebacker.
- 10:57Think about your workplace. Think about your home.
- 11:02Are there things going on right now at your workplace, at your
- 11:07home, that you are tolerating Dysfunction, laziness,
- 11:14disrespect, mediocrity? Now think why?
- 11:21Why are you tolerating it? Are you tolerating it?
- 11:23Because it's easier to just tolerate it and you got somebody
- 11:26to blame if things go bad, But it's a lot easier to do that
- 11:30than actually confront them and challenge them and call them up
- 11:34to a higher, higher standard, he says.
- 11:38This, this is kind of rocked my world, right?
- 11:41There are no bad teams. There are no bad missional
- 11:46communities. There are no bad companies.
- 11:51There are only bad leaders. Oofed.
- 11:57That one hits, man. That one hits.
- 12:01Can you? Now I want you to think about
- 12:04that. Things are going wrong in your
- 12:07home. Things are going wrong at work
- 12:11and you. And what we're saying here and
- 12:12what Jocko's saying here is you have to take ownership of what's
- 12:15under you. You have to say it's up to me.
- 12:18You have to say I'm responsible for these failures.
- 12:22Can you handle that or is your ego too big to take that kind of
- 12:27ownership? It's not me, I'm doing my job,
- 12:29I'm doing my responsibility. It's this guy over here.
- 12:32Jocko adds one more concept I want us to sit with.
- 12:35He says implementing extreme ownership requires checking your
- 12:40ego and operating with a high degree of humility.
- 12:45Admitting mistakes, taking ownership and developing a plan
- 12:49to overcome challenges are integral to any successful team
- 12:54Ego, he says. That's the enemy of ownership.
- 12:58I can't take ownership of somebody else's failures or
- 13:01faults or whatever because that's going to make me look
- 13:04bad, right? The moment your ego gets more
- 13:09important than the mission at hand, you stop leading and you
- 13:14just start performing right? You're protecting your
- 13:17reputation. You're protecting your paycheck,
- 13:20you're protecting how you feel about yourself instead of
- 13:23actually solving the problem. So would you rather feel good
- 13:27about yourself and have disobedient kids that aren't
- 13:30following the ways of the Lord? Or would you rather say, you
- 13:32know what? No, that's on me and I need to
- 13:34do something about it. This is my problem to deal with.
- 13:39Well, many of us would rather protect our reputation.
- 13:43Brothers, the Bible has a word for this word that Jocko uses
- 13:48called ego, right? They called it pride.
- 13:53That's what the Bible calls it. The Bible calls it pride, the
- 13:55sin of pride. And the Reformers obviously
- 14:00trace, and even people before the Reformers trace this all the
- 14:04way back to the Garden of Eden. Augustine writing in the 4th
- 14:07century, he identified pride as the very root of all sin.
- 14:12He said this it was pride that changed angels into devils, and
- 14:17it is humility that makes men as angels.
- 14:21Pride says it's not my fault. Humility says I own it.
- 14:25And here's what's amazing. The path to redemption runs
- 14:29straight through ownership. Adam and Eve in the garden, when
- 14:34confronted by God, they played the blame game right.
- 14:37Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent.
- 14:39Neither of them could receive grace and find redemption until
- 14:43they faced the cold hard truth, right?
- 14:47Extreme ownership. So extreme ownership practiced
- 14:51by a Christian man is an is 1. It's the way that the gospel
- 14:56comes to us. God confronts us in our sin, and
- 14:59we have to take ownership and say, yes, I am a Sinner, Yes, I
- 15:03have sinned, and yes, I need the grace of Jesus Christ, right?
- 15:07I need to bow my knee to Jesus Christ as my King.
- 15:09And that's how I receive salvation.
- 15:12But it's also extreme. Ownership is also the path of
- 15:15sanctification. Every time you resist the urge
- 15:20to deflect and blame somebody else and instead ask, what could
- 15:27have, What could I have done differently?
- 15:29How did I screw this up? OK, I maybe haven't been
- 15:33teaching my kids this. I haven't been training my
- 15:35employees this. I haven't been whatever, right,
- 15:38leading my wife in this way. What could I have done
- 15:41differently? When you do that and you take
- 15:44the ownership on yourself, you're becoming more like
- 15:48Christ. Now, what do you mean by that?
- 15:51Well, what did Christ do? Christ took the ultimate
- 15:54ownership of a debt that wasn't his right.
- 15:58That's what Christ did. All right, now let's weave in
- 16:01the Puritans and learn some things about the Protestant work
- 16:04ethic and the diligent life. Now with the Puritans, the
- 16:11doctrine of vocation really gets practical.
- 16:16Now, the Puritans have gotten a bad reputation.
- 16:19They're remembered as kind of joyless, rigid, stodgy,
- 16:23oppressive dudes. But when you read them, they
- 16:26were not. And specifically, if you read
- 16:30them on work and on calling and on the diligent life, you're
- 16:33going to be blown away. You're going to be blown away by
- 16:35how much they sound like Jocko in a lot of ways.
- 16:38Cotton Mather, great Puritan preacher of colonial New
- 16:42England, he wrote in a Christian at his calling, and I want you
- 16:47to hear this. He says this every Christian has
- 16:51a general and a particular calling.
- 16:55Remember we talked about this last week, your general calling,
- 16:58bow their knee to Christ, serve Christ as king.
- 17:01Your particular calling. These are the vocations that God
- 17:03has called you to. Husband, Father, you know,
- 17:07Carpenter, manager, whatever it is.
- 17:10His general calling is to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.
- 17:14His particular calling is the business wherein he is to spend
- 17:17most of his time and in which he is to glorify God by doing good
- 17:21for others. A man has a work to do in the
- 17:24world, and he must be faithful and industrious in his calling.
- 17:31What's he saying? He's saying a Christian man
- 17:34should be a provider, a producer, right?
- 17:37He's not just a consumer. He's definitely not a destroyer.
- 17:40He should be faithful and industrious in his calling.
- 17:45Now that's extreme ownership before Jocko gave it a name,
- 17:48right? I'm to take ownership over my
- 17:50domain over my century, and I'm to be industrious in it.
- 17:55The Puritans didn't separate sacred from secular.
- 17:59There was no part exempt from the lordship of Christ and
- 18:02therefore no part of life exempt from full accountability, right.
- 18:07Our whole life is uncovered before the the eyes of God to
- 18:11whom we must give account. He sees all and knows all.
- 18:15Now Richard Baxter and his book, A Christian Directory, he wrote
- 18:20what might be the most exhaustive treatment of
- 18:22Christian work ethic in the history of the church.
- 18:25He said laziness is a form of sin, A theft from God, a theft
- 18:32from your family and a theft from your neighbor.
- 18:36Now why is that? God has given me certain gifts.
- 18:39He's given me this, he put me at this century post that I'm to
- 18:42manage everything that I've got. I'm to use the, the gifts that
- 18:45he gives me. I'm, I'm supposed to multiply
- 18:47them and be industrious and faithful in my endeavor.
- 18:51And by working hard and doing that, I bring honor to God and I
- 18:55bring glory to God. OK, so when I'm lazy, I'm
- 18:58actually stealing from God. Same thing for my family.
- 19:01God's given me all these resources, all of these talents,
- 19:03all this ability give me the station in life.
- 19:06And if I'm not being diligent in my work and I'm being lazy, I'm
- 19:09actually stealing from my family because I could be providing
- 19:12more for them. And of course, if I'm not doing
- 19:15a good job at work and I'm being lazy or whatever, I'm stealing
- 19:18from my neighbor because he deserves the best effort I have.
- 19:22He deserves a high quality product, right?
- 19:25And all of my attention and focus and hard work.
- 19:27And so I'm when I'm being lazy, I'm stealing from my neighbor.
- 19:31Now he says this, and I love this because he's getting at
- 19:36taking extreme ownership over our time, taking extreme
- 19:41ownership over our schedules. All right, he says this.
- 19:46Keep up a high esteem of time, value time very highly and be
- 19:53everyday more careful that you lose none of your time.
- 19:57How do I lose time? Well, social media video games.
- 20:03That guy that I know, every time he walks over to my desk, he's
- 20:06going to want to talk for 10-15 minutes about nothing.
- 20:10That guy is stealing from the company, right?
- 20:13That guy's stealing from you. He's stealing your time.
- 20:16You could be productive with this time.
- 20:17Instead, you're talking it up with this dude.
- 20:20So be careful that you lose none of your time that you, that you
- 20:23are that. Oh so basically, be so focused
- 20:27on your time. Be as focused on your on losing
- 20:30time as you would be on losing gold or silver.
- 20:34And if vain recreations, video games, wasting time, dressings,
- 20:39feastings, idle talk, unprofitable company, or even
- 20:42sleep, be any of them temptations to rob you of any of
- 20:46your time. Accordingly heighten your
- 20:49watchfulness and firm resolutions against them.
- 20:51In other words, see these as enemies sleep.
- 20:55The Proverbs talks about this a lot.
- 20:57The guy who rolls over and over and over in his bed, he's the
- 21:00lazy man and he's not going to get a good reward, right?
- 21:03He's being, he's an unfaithful servant.
- 21:05He's not being diligent. He says be not more careful to
- 21:10escape thieves and robbers than to escape that person or action
- 21:14or course of life that would rob you of any of your time.
- 21:17So avoid the guy who wants to steal your time.
- 21:20Avoid worthless pursuits, the Proverbs call them, that want to
- 21:25rob you of your productive time and for redeeming the time, as
- 21:30the Scriptures tell us, to redeem the time especially see
- 21:33not only that you are never you never be idle, but also that you
- 21:37be doing the greatest good that you can do and prefer not a less
- 21:42before a greater. So when I have an opportunity to
- 21:46do something OK and something great, I'm going to do something
- 21:49great if I have to, if I have the opportunity to do something
- 21:52productive and something unproductive, I'm going to focus
- 21:55my attention on being productive.
- 21:57Now what's crazy is, you know, these guys are right.
- 22:00He's writing this hundreds of years ago before the leadership
- 22:04and self help books have come on the market.
- 22:07But he's brilliant. He's using scripture here and
- 22:10he's basically saying the most important things for an
- 22:13organization, be it again, any station of life, family, church,
- 22:18business, the most important thing to be work, to be spending
- 22:24your time on is what's going to accomplish the goal, what's
- 22:28going to move us forward, whether that be towards piety,
- 22:31whether that be towards virtue, whether it be towards making
- 22:34money, right? Answering emails might be a
- 22:37complete waste of your time, right?
- 22:40There's a lots of things that you could be focusing on that
- 22:41are not productive. They're not going to bring more
- 22:44money into the company. They're not going to bring more
- 22:46money into you. They're not going to be
- 22:47developing virtue in your kids, right?
- 22:49Sitting there watching YouTube or doing whatever.
- 22:51It could be productive time, but a lot of times it's not.
- 22:54And we should use our time towards things that are
- 22:58productive towards the Kingdom of God, towards building our
- 23:00families and doing good in the world.
- 23:04Now Jocko has, so he's got at least two books, book Extreme
- 23:11Ownership. I would encourage you to pick it
- 23:12up. He's got another one called
- 23:13Discipline Equals Freedom. And the whole premise behind
- 23:16this is the man who disciplines himself earns the freedom that
- 23:21the undisciplined man never gets right.
- 23:26Baxter is saying basically the same thing from a theological
- 23:29angle. The man who stewards his time
- 23:33earns the fruit of a life well lived, right?
- 23:36If you're disciplined and you get up in the morning and you
- 23:38read your Bible and you pay your bills and you go to work and you
- 23:41put in work and you get your stuff done, you you're probably
- 23:45going to be more likely to be able to go play golf in the
- 23:48afternoon or play with your kids or do whatever it is that you
- 23:50want to do. But the man who rolls back and
- 23:53forth in his bed, the man that scrolls social media for an hour
- 23:56or two before he goes into work, that man is going to be behind
- 23:59on his day. He's wasted his time.
- 24:01He's pursuing worthless pursuits and by the end of the day, he's
- 24:04probably going to be playing catch up on emails and just
- 24:07trying to get his stuff done by the end of the day.
- 24:09Why he didn't have discipline. Discipline leads to greater and
- 24:14greater levels of freedom. All right, I just want to do, I
- 24:18want to merge these together and I want to give us three
- 24:20applications where you can apply extreme ownership to your
- 24:26vocation. Number one, own your work.
- 24:34Jocko writes that the leader has to own the plan and own the
- 24:38execution. He cannot outsource
- 24:41accountability. And Calvin reminds us that our
- 24:45particular station is a century post, right?
- 24:49So we have to be faithful in that calling.
- 24:52We can't go AWOL. Well, what does that look like
- 24:55at work? It means you are not the man.
- 24:58When your boss comes and says I need you to take care of this.
- 25:01You are not the man that says that's not my job, that's not in
- 25:06my job description. I've had people do this.
- 25:11It drives me insane, right? He's the boss.
- 25:14He can write your job description, right?
- 25:16If you want to succeed, if you want to get better, if you want
- 25:19to make more money, the boss trusts you with the
- 25:21responsibility. You take on that responsibility
- 25:24and you say, yes, I can get it done and you own it.
- 25:28It means when you take on a project and a project fails and
- 25:32it's going to fail, right, Your first response is not a defense
- 25:36brief, but a candid self-assessment and ownership.
- 25:42What did what went wrong? What did I do?
- 25:45Man, I could have followed up with that guy.
- 25:46I didn't follow up with him. Man, I should have front loaded
- 25:49this man, I, I bid this too low. Whatever it is, right, take
- 25:53ownership of it. It means you deliver what you
- 25:59promise, right? You meet the deadline.
- 26:02And if you don't meet the deadline, you pick up the phone
- 26:04or send the e-mail before the deadline and you own the
- 26:07shortfall, right? It also means this, you don't go
- 26:12to work. Let me say it like this, you
- 26:15don't. You can go to work and be there,
- 26:19but you're not all in, right? We used to call this phoning it
- 26:23in, right? You're just phoning it in.
- 26:24You're there, you're going through the motions, but you're
- 26:26not all there. I've met many Christians that do
- 26:30this because they don't think their work is spiritual enough.
- 26:34Luther said you can make shoes to the glory of God, and you
- 26:39don't do that by putting little crosses on them, right?
- 26:42That means whatever it is you're doing, you can do that to the
- 26:45glory of God. You can manage spreadsheets to
- 26:47the glory of God. You can write code to the glory
- 26:49of God. You can build a wall to the
- 26:51glory of God. You can run a crew to the glory
- 26:53of God. There is no secular work when
- 26:57it's done by a sacred man, a man who's devoted and consecrated to
- 27:02God. OK, so #1 own your job, number
- 27:072. Own your family.
- 27:11The the household is the first estate in Luther's framework.
- 27:16The husband and father is the leader of that estate.
- 27:20And Jocko's principle is brutal here.
- 27:23If your team is struggling, look in the mirror first.
- 27:28What does that mean? If your family is struggling,
- 27:32look in the mirror first. You have to take ownership of
- 27:35it. Is there conflict in your
- 27:38marriage? Before blaming your wife and
- 27:41cataloging all of her failures, ask What have I failed to do?
- 27:45How have I failed to lead? What have I failed to
- 27:48communicate? What have I failed to provide,
- 27:51not just financially, but emotionally, spiritually,
- 27:54relationally? You got to ask, am I leading or
- 27:58am I just present here, right? Many guys get in, They choose
- 28:03this woman, right? Because they see she's
- 28:06productive. They see she's a leader.
- 28:09And they just say, you know what I want?
- 28:10I want to focus on work and I'm going to let my wife lead the
- 28:13home. You've abdicated your
- 28:18responsibility. You're not taking ownership of
- 28:21it. And then if she's making the
- 28:23decision on education, if she's the one making the decision on
- 28:26how you're spending your budget, if she's the one making
- 28:27decisions on where you're going on vacation and what church
- 28:29you're going to and all this kind of stuff, you can't take
- 28:32ownership of that because you've abdicated that responsibility.
- 28:35That responsibility is meant to be on you, the leader of your
- 28:39home. So you, if you've done that, you
- 28:41got to have a conversation with your wife and you got to do this
- 28:43graciously in an understanding way, but you have to take
- 28:46ownership of it. Now, many men let their wives
- 28:49lead because if they fail, there's someone to blame.
- 28:53You could say, well, I didn't put them in that school.
- 28:55Well, I didn't do that. I didn't make that decision.
- 28:57That was your decision. Now you live with it, right?
- 28:59That's not what a man of God is meant to do.
- 29:03A man who takes extreme ownership says it's my
- 29:05responsibility to take ownership of my home here.
- 29:08Extreme ownership. So own your family.
- 29:14Again, ask yourself, are your kids struggling before you blame
- 29:18the school, blame the culture, blame the screens, Ask what am I
- 29:23doing in my home? What am I modeling?
- 29:26What am I teaching? Am I praying for them?
- 29:30Am I reading the Word of God in my home?
- 29:32Do they see in me a man who takes the faith seriously?
- 29:36Or am IA man who outsources and abdicates my spiritual authority
- 29:41and the spiritual formation I'm supposed to be providing to my
- 29:43children, to the school, to a church?
- 29:47Or am I taking ownership of that?
- 29:50The Puritan Thomas Thomas Brooks wrote this.
- 29:53The family is the seminary of the church and state.
- 29:58And if children be not well principled, there all
- 30:02miscarries. The family is the seminary of
- 30:06the church and state. Your home is where the next
- 30:10generation of disciples of Jesus and citizens of the United
- 30:13States of America is either formed or deformed.
- 30:18That is an extreme ownership statement if there ever was one,
- 30:23right? We know where our church is
- 30:25going to be in the future. We know where our society is
- 30:28going to be in the future by looking at how men are leading
- 30:32and discipling their children at home.
- 30:35That's that's crazy. Take ownership of that #3 own
- 30:39your spiritual life now. This might be the hardest one
- 30:42for most men because we have 100 different reasons why our walk
- 30:49with God has grown cold, right? I'm not a good reader.
- 30:53Work has been brutal, the season's been hard, our church
- 30:57is frustrating. On and on and on we go.
- 31:00I don't sleep well, I'm not feeling well, I'm getting older,
- 31:03I've got aches and pains. We got all kind of excuses.
- 31:06But extreme ownership says there is no one else to blame.
- 31:13You own where you're at with the Lord right now.
- 31:16You own your prayer life. You own your time in Scripture.
- 31:22You own your relationships. You own your sin patterns.
- 31:26It is, in a very real sense, all on you, right?
- 31:30What have you been putting in? That's where you're going to be.
- 31:33You reap what you sow right now. The Puritans called this when
- 31:37I'm kind of looking at my life, they called it self examination.
- 31:41And it can go bad if you get too inwardly focused and too narrow
- 31:45and rigid just gazing at your own belly button all the time.
- 31:49But a regular, honest audit of your spiritual condition is
- 31:53actually a good thing. In my missional community, one
- 31:56of the things that we've started doing is at the end of the
- 31:59night, we'll just say, hey, guys, on a scale of zero to 10,
- 32:03where are you at in your life right now?
- 32:07Like where are you at spiritually, relationally,
- 32:09physically? Like how are you feeling about
- 32:11your life? Where are you at?
- 32:12Right? If a guy says a four, you know,
- 32:14oh man, this guy's in a, in a rough spot.
- 32:16I should probably check in with this guy, but that's, that's a
- 32:18self audit. We're making him say that,
- 32:21right? And so he might go, whoa, I
- 32:23can't believe I just said that out loud.
- 32:24I'm a four. Like, what am I?
- 32:26What have I done to get me to this point?
- 32:28Have I not been reading my Bible?
- 32:29Have I not been praying? Are my relationships jacked up?
- 32:32Am I too stressed at work? Right?
- 32:34What am I? Am I really unhealthy?
- 32:37It's a good practice to get in there to do this self
- 32:40examination and this audit here. And here's where the gospel
- 32:46enters into this conversation with good news and with force.
- 32:51The reason that we can own our failures without being crushed
- 32:55by them is because Jesus has already owned something
- 33:00infinitely greater. The Apostle Paul writes in 2nd
- 33:03Corinthians 521, God the Father made him Jesus the Son, who had
- 33:10no sin, to be sin for us, so that in him Christ we might
- 33:16become the righteousness of God. What does that mean?
- 33:21Jesus was the only man that never sinned.
- 33:26And what did he choose to do? He chose to take ownership of
- 33:32our debts, right? Our shame, our failures, our
- 33:37sins. Jesus stood up as the only man
- 33:39who had never sinned, and he said, that's mine.
- 33:43I'm going to take it for him. Not because of course he didn't
- 33:47deserve it, right? He deserved nothing but
- 33:48exaltation. But because love owns what it
- 33:53doesn't have to do, have to love bears all things.
- 33:58Love bears another's burdens, right?
- 34:00And So what did Jesus do as love Incarnate?
- 34:03He bore our burdens for us. Now.
- 34:06Jesus is our model. Jesus is our motivation.
- 34:11You can own your life and own your sin and own your failures
- 34:16and own your weaknesses without fear or shame because your life
- 34:20is already been purchased by Jesus Christ, right?
- 34:24You've already been giving grace.
- 34:27Now this is the challenge I want to give you.
- 34:32I want to close today with with something that Jocko says near
- 34:35the end of the first chapter of extreme ownership.
- 34:38He describes the moment he walked into the after action
- 34:41review and owned the friendly fire failure in front of his
- 34:44superiors. And he says his superiors
- 34:46response surprised him. Right.
- 34:50What do we think's going to happen?
- 34:51You walk in and say that failure out there in the field today,
- 34:55that's all my fault. Most of us think if I do that,
- 34:58I'm going to get fired. Right?
- 35:01Well, the Admiral didn't fire him.
- 35:04He didn't pile on and say, yeah, you really are a moron.
- 35:06You really suck at your job. No, the Admiral said good and
- 35:11then moved on. Why?
- 35:14Because a leader who owns his failure is a leader who can be
- 35:18trusted to fix it. Then God responds to our
- 35:23ownership in the same way, right?
- 35:26If we, when we take ownership and we say I've sinned, I've
- 35:29messed up, I've screwed it up, it's on me.
- 35:31It's not my wife's fault, not my kids fault, not my boss's fault,
- 35:34not nobody else's fault. It's mine.
- 35:36Then we we can receive the grace from God that we need and we can
- 35:42do something to fix our actions. We can repent, we can change, we
- 35:46can grow from it. This is like David when David
- 35:49sinned by sleeping with Bathsheba and committing
- 35:54adultery with her and then having her her husband killed.
- 35:59God was not pleased with that. But what happened?
- 36:01David owned it in Psalm 51. David repented, David grieved
- 36:05over it. David changed and God said this
- 36:07is a man after my own heart. So here's your challenge for
- 36:11this week. And I actually want you to do
- 36:13this. Don't just listen to it,
- 36:14Actually do it because I want this idea, this concept, this
- 36:17teaching to actually impact your life.
- 36:20First, I want you to identify 1 area in your vocation where you
- 36:27have been blaming external circumstances.
- 36:30Might be at work, we don't have enough money, I don't know.
- 36:33I have enough staff, my boss isn't giving me clear
- 36:35instructions. Whatever it is, you've been
- 36:37blaming external circumstances, right?
- 36:40Right. And I want you to write this
- 36:41down. 1 area in your life that you're blaming external
- 36:44circumstances. Write it down.
- 36:48And I and I'm and I'm one thing that you haven't owned yet.
- 36:51I want you to write it down. OK, here's the second one.
- 36:54And this is the hard part. Admitting you're blaming others,
- 36:58admitting you're making an excuse.
- 36:59That's tough, but it's not going to change your life.
- 37:03The second one will change, could change your life if you
- 37:05make it a pattern, if you make it a habit.
- 37:07It's a part of your character and you consistently do it over
- 37:10and over and over. And it's this.
- 37:12So first, you're identify 1 area of your life where you're not
- 37:14taking ownership. Secondly, take aggressive
- 37:18action. Take aggressive action.
- 37:21It's not enough just to acknowledge you actually have to
- 37:24take the next step. Go to the person and have the
- 37:27conversation right? Send the e-mail.
- 37:31Do the thing you've been avoiding because owning it
- 37:36actually feels like losing, right?
- 37:39Go to the boss and say I'm sorry that that project failed.
- 37:43That was my fault. Let me make it right.
- 37:45Let me fix it. Now we avoid that because it
- 37:49feels like admitting we're a failure.
- 37:51It feels like losing, but it's not.
- 37:56I just watched this video from Kobe Bryant and Kobe Bryant said
- 38:00failure's not real. Failure's not a real thing.
- 38:03He's like, well, they're like, what do you mean you, you lose
- 38:05games? You, you know, you, you fail in
- 38:07a game. He goes, yeah, I can fail to.
- 38:10If I can fail today, learn from it, grow from it and see succeed
- 38:16tomorrow, then failure's not a failure's not a thing.
- 38:20Like failure can't just go up and down like this, like, I'm
- 38:23not a failure, right. What he's talking about there is
- 38:27taking extreme ownership. And even when I'm saying, you
- 38:31know what, I had a bad game, you know what?
- 38:33I didn't play, well, you know what, that's all on me.
- 38:36You're not losing there. You're actually leading.
- 38:39You're teaching other people. You're taking ownership yourself
- 38:43and teaching others how to take ownership.
- 38:45And that's what's going to move the organization, the family,
- 38:48whatever it is forward. So men, those are the two
- 38:53things, right? Write something down that you're
- 38:55not taking ownership for and #2 take aggressive action to fix
- 39:01it, right? Say take ownership of it and fix
- 39:04it. Might be starting up, might be
- 39:05doing a Bible study with your kids, right?
- 39:08It might be apologizing to your wife for not providing well,
- 39:12whatever it is, take aggressive action and you have a sentry
- 39:16post that God's placed you in. The mission is not going to run
- 39:23itself. You are here to accomplish a
- 39:26mission in your sentry post, to be a productive Christian man in
- 39:31your home, in society at large, and in the church.
- 39:35Own it, right? Take that responsibility on.
- 39:41Well, that's really all I've got for today's episode, guys.
- 39:45I would really appreciate it if you're listening this far and
- 39:48it's been a benefit to you. Share it with somebody else.
- 39:50Give us a like subscribe. It's really cool to see our
- 39:54subscribers are continuing to grow.
- 39:56We still haven't really broke into the algorithm yet.
- 39:59So just keep sharing it, keep liking it, comment down below.
- 40:02It really helps other people find us.
- 40:04And until next week, know the post that God has put you in.
- 40:10Own your ground and go act like men.
- 40:14God bless guys.