Latest / Creative Roots Podcast / A Space Where Being Human As Allowed - Caroline | Ep. 62

Transcript

A Space Where Being Human As Allowed - Caroline | Ep. 62 · Creative Roots Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it's very hard to recognize it when you're right in the middle of it.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: It takes most of the time takes someone else to say, Whoa, what are you doing?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: At the end of the day, it's like your body carries things in certain places and depending on where it is, determines So what happened with our gen my generation is that we totally swung to the other side of the pendulum and Truth in the air, let it speak.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: This is why you test things before you're actually supposed to start, right?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I don't do anybody in person.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Less things to control, less things to have to worry about.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: So Caroline, how's your day?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: Awesome.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's been good.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: Good, yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: I got about three hours worth of sleep, but I almost didn't go to sleep because you were so excited.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: I took the last sips of my energy drink about three o'clock this morning.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, that was a good thing.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: It was extremely watered down.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: And for whatever reason, I was just like, oh my God, what about this?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: What about that?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, let me ask this.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, let me figure this out.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: And next thing I know, I'm Amazon Prime Day deal shopping.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, You know, you're supposed to shut everything down at like 10 o'clock at night or an hour before you go to bed.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: That was an hour before I went to bed.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: You went to bed at 3 30.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: I got home about 3 30.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: Ouch.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's better you than me.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do that.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: If we were sitting here now and that was me, yeah.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: I can function and flow through it.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'll be here all day.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: I won't be tired until we're completely done.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then everything shuts off.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: Basically.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'll just filter through the rest of the day.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: But it'll be fine.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_03: I will be fine.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: I will be fine, people.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: Trust me.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: You say that now.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: And if not, Shamar is here.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: You say that now.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, what's going on, good people?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: It is Shamar Tays, trusty sidekick.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: And with that being said, welcome back to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast, where C Stone becomes Visions Grown.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: I would like to give a shout out to Alan Lux Studios.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: I would like to thank us.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Shout out to Charlotte Podcast Studio.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: I would like to thank us.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: And shout out to Artbox Charlotte.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: I would like to thank us.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: And shout out to Mono 2, because they had me on another thing.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, audio mixer I got.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing to do with this episode or anything, but the mixer I got, the audio interface, the uh P1.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: Go check it out.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: Try it.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: I got a video out.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: Go look for it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_03: If I remember, I'll put it in the description.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: But if not, take with the edits.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: Y'all know where I'm at.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you will have to remember it because you're going to edit this video.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to have to wait.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Remember because you got to edit the video.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you don't edit nothing.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: They don't edit.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_03: They not edit it.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: I don't edit.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, y'all.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Today.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: I know how today it's supposed to go.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not going that way.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: It ain't it ain't functioned the way it was supposed to since I woke up this morning.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: And it's okay.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: At the end of the day, we are still here and we are still alive.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: And we are going to carry on this conversation.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, sitting across from me today, I have Miss Caroline.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: She is also a podcaster and she does a plethora of other things.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: Pethera.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: A plethora.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: So y'all know, in good old Creative Roots fashion, I am not going to introduce her.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to let her introduce herself because Tay is not butchering anything.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: So yes, Caroline, can you so you're leaving it up to me to butcher it?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll do the best we can.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to know what I do?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Or you want everybody else to know what I do?
• 4:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because you already know what I do.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: And what you do.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm Caroline Rena.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am, for lack of, well, I this is my title.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I had to figure something out, hopefully, for people understand what it is.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm a spiritual alchemist, and I am the host of the Awakening Soul Divinity podcast.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm also a writer.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And they all kind of mix in together.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, and basically, as the spiritual alchemist, it's holding space for people as they walk through whatever things, you know, brick walls they're trying to figure things out in life, whatever.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I hold space for people to recognize the truth of who they are in themselves so they can step through the fear of doing the things that they're meant to do on the planet.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the best thing I that's the best way I could explain it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: So in short, similar to a therapist, you help people through whatever it is, help find a way to get through it, get over it.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: Kind of in a sense.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, kind of.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, therapy is more cognitive.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: The work I do is more energy work.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like I do the cognitive, but the energy work is what holds the space.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So people like I use my own energy to create a space of healing for the person to recognize themselves.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like with therapy, and please, I do not knock therapy because I've been doing it forever, um, or had been doing it forever, but therapy is more like you tell your story over and over again until you recognize what's going on in your life, but then you got to go past that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: The and the past part is what I'm learning now with my own healing is the body.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the body carries everything.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when the body is carrying things, because we've been kind of programmed not to listen to our bodies.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, right.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: So when the body's carrying something and we're told, oh no, you can't listen to your body, you gotta listen to the doctor or this or that.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing against doctors.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever I say here, there's nothing against anything.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's it's separating uh 3D life from who we are.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And because we have we're not just human, we're also um I'm gonna just share.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I listened to uh Panash Desai, and what the words he uses is love, light, presence, and infinite.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we have all that happening at the same time.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes we trip over ourselves as humans trying to figure out what we're doing in our lives while at the same time other people are telling us what we should be doing.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so it gets confusing, and then we don't know what to do.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Conflict.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: But it's in our minds and our bodies, and so the work I do is kind of separating that so you can start trusting yourself.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we talked about some of those things with different people here.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: Um some of the words are different, some of the words line up, but at the end of the day, it's like your body carries things in certain places, and depending on where it is, determines what it is.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Some yeah, I mean, it's it's all you're right, it's all very close.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna use different language depending on, you know, if you studied something, there's gonna be a language there because people pull from the um research that prior therapists and prior psychiatrists and you know, all the dating back to the 18 late 1800s or whatever, like Freud and Carl Jung and that kind of thing.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we're all gonna pull from that information because that's how we learn it, but then we kind of mix it in with our own um gifts, I guess, so to speak.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like um, yeah, I mean, you're right.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's people are gonna do it the way they do it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you come up with really cool names, like whatever spiritual spiritual alchemist is, you know.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't it just happened to show up one day, and I'm like, okay, but you know what alchemy is, right?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember, but yes, okay.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, it's basically whatever you touch turns to gold.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, something like that.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's actually metal, it comes from the alchemists of the old and days, whenever that was the ancients, where they took um uh one metal, which I can't think of the metal right now, and changed it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like changing the chemistry of the metal into a new compound, which is gold, right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we're doing with people is we're taking all of that heavy stuff, the heavy metal, lead, that's what it is.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's lead to gold.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so you take that and you recreate and uncover what's really in there.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So when you finally can see who you are inside, then you're able to um walk through the blind spot that you're having or walk to the next level of whatever you're doing.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if that makes it that, or even just walking through whatever challenge you're having in your life, you know.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, oh, but that I and half the time you already know what it is, you just don't know you know what it is.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: Subconscious issues.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're we all have that inside of us to know what it is, but we are kind of resistant and stubborn and scared and all of that stuff, and that holds us back because we don't trust our that they're back to the trust.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: We don't trust ourselves.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_03: That makes sense.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so Caroline.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: You hit us.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: What what took place for you to, and and I'm I'm uh I'm trying to work through the vision that I'm seeing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: What took place to where I'm gonna say you stepped back, analyzed this, and said, This is something that I have to do.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, like what got you started into being this spiritual alchemist?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what happened?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 10:49
  unknown: Okay.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_04: How do we get here?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: The conversation was deeper.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: You talk about what happened.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: That felt like this could take a lot longer than you think.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, in this lifetime, over 35 years worth of trauma and healing work and dark nights of the soul, and I don't know if you've ever heard the phrase wailing and gnashing of teeth.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, a lot of that, right?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, then you can add the whole generational piece to it, and then you can add past life pieces to it.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like all these things just started coming up over the years as I was because I love putting puzzles together.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the puzzle.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love researching.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so over the years, it's like basically you've heard of toolboxes, right?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: People talk about toolboxes, like you learn something and you put it in your toolbox, and you can use that later if if something's going on in your life you can pull from whatever that tool is.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense when I say that?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: I get the analogy.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're giving me that look.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm listening.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, what is she really saying?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure what she's saying.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, so a toolbox, for example, just in case.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, one of the things that I had to do was we all have to, we all get to do this is to connect with our inner child, right?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's who shows up in our life when things are going, whoa, they're the ones running the show.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're talking to a little kid who's five years old or eight years old, or ten years old, mine was 10, and she's like, I'm in charge, I'm in charge, you're upset, I'm taking over.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then your whole world goes like chaos, complete chaos.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: So for a long time, I didn't know that.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I my whole world went chaos into complete chaos.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I learned to when I when I knew that she was having like here, perfect example.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I walked in here, I'm pacing.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shamar says she's you're pacing.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you pacing?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that was her, but that's like a really calm version of what I used to do.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I come in and I'm breathing and I put my hands on my heart, or you know, um, and I close my eyes and I tell her everything's gonna be okay.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're reparenting yourself, you're talking to yourself, parenting yourself because potentially you never got that when you were a child, right?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't, I didn't feel like I don't remember getting that.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: So now I'm reparenting, excuse me, reparenting myself, right?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a tool.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you build these tools when you take courses or you read books or whatever, and you see something, oh, well, that looks like it might work.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you try it.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I did.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I tried it, and if it didn't work, I'm like gone.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, obviously, it's not, I don't need to carry that around with me, right?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I um keep the things that worked for me.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And when something came up, then I used that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the toolbox.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have no idea why where we started with this whole oh, we're going through my life.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um so so eight years ago, I basically went into a deep dark hole.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was depressed.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I was, I'm a veteran, so I went into this whole thing because I went through um something in the military, which is called militar, it's they call it military sexual trauma, and and I call it harass.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing, it's just harassment too.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I just 2023 or 2021 started the whole thing.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I crashed and burned in 2023.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was almost homeless.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: All these things were going on.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I found out some things online that I wish I would have heard from the person, that type of, you know, that kind of thing.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Everything was just crashing.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so, but because I'm aware and observant about myself and other people the way I am, which is a gift.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um I started, I dug, I kept digging, I went deep, I went, you know, I started writing and I started doing poems and I started doing, you know, all these different things.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: And little by little, once uh this group in Florida that I was where Veterans Group in Florida was helping me through this, I found a place to live.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Then I started going through the generational trauma, and that was not fun.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's not a fun place to go.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And but it's very interesting because then you can start to see where your behavior, some of your behaviors came from, right?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So that helped me, puzzle pieces.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then once that was all over with, I decided to come up uh to move.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to be in, I was in South Florida at the time, I didn't want to be there anymore.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Too chaotic, I was telling Shamar, it's like this very noisy there.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not good with noise.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what an empath and a highly sensitive person is?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Shamar?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: You do?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, all right.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: So an empath is someone who can feel you, I think we've talked about this before, but we they can feel other people.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like you walk into a room and you're like, not a good place to be.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta get out of here.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, yeah.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: That type of thing.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then for a highly sensitive person, everything like a lot of artists are highly sensitive because you can you you don't just do your art, you feel your art.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you see a sunset, you feel the sunset.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you're watching a bird fly, you see you feel the bird, you feel the air under your wings, whatever.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a highly so I'm very much of both.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um when I moved up here, it got quiet.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I could come back into myself and sit with myself because there wasn't so much noise around me.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like I live in a cathedral of trees in the middle of a bit play a bit, you know, it's not it's not a city, it's it's a town, let's say that.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And um birds and chipmunks, and I'm like that, okay.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so little by little I started finding myself.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I started uncovering that piece.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I started uncovering the truth.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's our noise was gone.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The noise was gone.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what's so interesting about humans is that we actually create noise so we can protect ourselves from hearing ourselves or or knowing who we are because we're afraid of that because of trauma or because of you know, many things that could have happened to us.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so that's been my path along.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I do that with myself.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then um in 2024, at the end of 2024, after doing much research in Uber, striving for Uber and many other things, um, I recognized that there's a lot of empaths and highly sensitive people out there.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so that became my audience, I guess, avatar, whatever you want to call it in in podcast world, you know.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's who I because so when I started it, it became an interview of people who had been through trauma.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I talked to you about this.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: You go through the trauma, you come out on the other side, you're of service to people.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want to talk to people just like me, right?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing led to another, and then it just it's just been a fun ride, let's put it that way.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Which by the way, my first podcast was called The Ride of My Life because I shared all the crap I was going through.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Just let it all out.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let it all out.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I was doing it, didn't matter.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't care.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was an open book.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the and it was people, I think nowadays people need to know or would like to know that they're not alone in how they feel, and it doesn't everything doesn't have to be professional.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't do things professionally, so I look good.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I do it because I want to connect with people.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, connection goes a long way compared to sitting within a box of rules and standards, like or perfection.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: That too.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like to some people, this is not professional or perfect because we just start, you know, we don't sit and say, okay, give me a count.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know, some people do because that's you know what they're what they want, what they need.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: But here it's like once before we even press record, we're already in conversation.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so after that we just press record, we sit down and you know, we talk until it's like, okay, now do the intro.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: You know, because we've been here for a while.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even remember, but you know, we've been here at least 30, 40 minutes, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: How and we've just been talking.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, not sitting here, but you know, since you you you got here, you know.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: So it's been 30, 45 minutes or so, and it's just conversation.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: We just sit.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right, Shamar?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's been 45 minutes.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna confirm.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: But no, I I I want to jump in there though, because that made a lot of sense when you said a person gets upset or scared or something, and then that child shows up.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because I started thinking about a lot of people are childlike when they what are you doing?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they get upset, but that makes sense now.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: I thank you for that.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're welcome.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing, Shamar, though, but there's a difference between childlike and child-ish.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, okay, that's what I meant, really meant with childish.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to figure that out myself because I was like, well, what do you mean by childlike?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm acting like a child right now.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what are you talking about?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not, but there's a difference between the two of them.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, when you're when you're child-ish, your entire, you know, trauma is coming out sideways on somebody.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're childlike, you're enjoying life.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_04: Right, right, right.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's that feels like the difference to me.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think about it like childlike is just that likable, you know, the the positive side, yeah, child-ish.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, even when you say ish, your face turns.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like, what are you doing?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Ugh.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and it's like the negative stance because you're child-ish.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like you had to do something from where, you know, what I know.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: You did something that was just like really, you know, but if it's like childlike, it's like you just see a kid with a smile, you know.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh what is it?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's playing jacked.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I went there.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: You see a kid playing uh, what is it?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: Hopscotch, double dutch.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Double Dutch.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_03: You see, or at least the way I visualize, you know, I'm like childlike.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: I visualize like my kids are outside playing football, or you know, when they were younger and it was raining outside, we would probably Put on swimming trunks and go play and run in the rain.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, what else was there to do?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Mud puddles.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so it's like childlike.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: Kind of puts a smile on your face, but child-ish is like, Yeah, come on now.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like childlike is magic.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Child-ish is we got a trauma here that we need to fix.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: We got something going on inside that's causing like your whole world falls apart because of, and you can see it.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I mean, I'm a little bit older than you are, and the men in my generation have like not all of them.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: I can't be general, I can't generalize anything, but the men, what some, some of them, but they're like, I've never, it it's so hard for me to watch a guy near my age.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm 61.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be 62 in August.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when I see a guy who I think is, you know, whatever, a man having a temper tantrum in front of me, or uh what I call what is passive aggressive behavior where he gets mad and he just walks out.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Women do that too.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Women do that too.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's just worse when a man does it.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_03: But go ahead.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, yeah, I think so.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I know so.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um we could talk about that later.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, but basically it's like, what are you doing?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, stop.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or the the it's actually hard, it's it's harder for me to deal with passive aggressive than it is for me to deal with a temper tantrum in front of me.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would rather almost used to scare me, so I didn't really like it, but passive aggressive, it's like, what it am I boring you?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, she didn't call me out.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's okay.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can yawn.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um yes, he just told you, yeah, three hours.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, they do say that yawns um help you to recognize the truth about yourself.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: So nobody said that.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't call you out even deeper.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, I didn't.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would never I wouldn't do that.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know that, but that was we'll clear that.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: If we have to edit that, that might be a thing too, but no.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Shame on what Tay don't do.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: He don't edit.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: He don't edit.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't edit nothing.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's in there.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Y'all heard it here live on Creative Rules Podcast.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: I still love you.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, the passive aggressive is hard, especially for women.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've had I've had um men on my podcast that I do interviews with, and I ask them to share how they feel from their perspective with other men.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when they've walked through and understand what they've learned, which you've got now, you've got a man who's who's done his work and understands all of that stuff and doesn't walk away when they're upset about something.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: They actually talk, you know.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that to me helps both the women understand what's happening and the men understand what's going on because it's coming from a man, right?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so passive aggressive is very challenging as an adult because that's your little kid coming out saying, I don't want to talk about this.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you walk out and don't even say a word, you know?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a there's an opening there to heal something that hurt you.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm thinking about the and then walk away.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen people shut down and not say anything.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: And again, that comes from that, you know, trauma.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: You don't say anything because growing up, you saying something will get you slapped or popped, or yeah, you know, depending on who your your parents were, how they grew up, and you know, it's uh shut up and don't talk back.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: So then, you know, uh stop that crying, you know.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: So men are told not to cry, and then growing up, you're also told not to talk back.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: So then when you get older, you just have this sense of I'm not gonna cry regardless of what I'm going through.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: But I've been trained to shut up so much, I don't want to talk because X, Y, and Z for that individual.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and it's not their fault.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's take it this way it's not the child's fault.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: But it's the adult's responsibility to change that for themselves.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it's very hard to recognize it when you're right in the middle of it.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: It takes most of the time takes someone else to say, Whoa, what are you doing?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can't say, I'm acting like a kid right now and I'm gonna stop it because I'm gonna take responsibility for my you can't do that when you're in it because you're already out of your head.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're in flight or fight or flight stress response type of thing.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And the crazy thing about it is whatever happened when you were a child wasn't your fault, but you're still living in it.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why you take responsibility.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever that trauma was, and it could be really a huge, they call it macro trauma or whatever, and then big, big, big something happened.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: And as a child, we protect ourselves.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: And one way of protecting is like you're saying, it's like, shut up, don't say a word because that I've got to stay.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I used to, my my little girl, my real little girl used to go in the closet and hide.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: So that was my protection.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: So whenever so I isolated when I got older because that was the only thing I felt safe doing.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: But then I was like, oh, but now I'm not living my life.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: And but that's the thing, is when we do that, when we when we're still stuck in that little child, we're not living a full life.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when we can recognize that, we can change it.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I I don't remember who it was, but we we had that conversation that's like you revert back to that child in though in those situations, and that's where you sit.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I know for me, if you want to argue, we can argue.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to, but coming from childhood trauma, it's like let me explain.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_03: Let me express why I said what I said did what I did.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like with my kids, okay, why did you do this instead of go to your room?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: Let let's figure out where things went left.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, now what made you do that and I don't know is not a sufficient answer.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: If the answer is I don't know, that tells me you're not fully thinking through whatever it is you're doing.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, dial back.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I don't think you're listening.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_03: What happened?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: And now I'm like, calm down.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: Let me take that back because I can't stand when anybody tells me to calm down.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Let's I don't like let's let's let's let's figure this out.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you're not in trouble yet, maybe.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: I need to know.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I tell my kids, it's better to tell the truth and get in trouble than lie and get in trouble later.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: If you tell me the truth straight out of the gate, all right, listen, we gotta have a conversation.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: But if you lie, I'm like, that it takes too much energy to lie because you gotta remember that lie, then you gotta lie about the lie.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_03: The next thing you know it's a chain reaction of lies, and you done forgot.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: Now you done told me the truth.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know I kind of went a little left with that one, but it's like But you didn't, you didn't, because you're giving a perfect example about like my again, my generation and the way kids were raised.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: You all how old did you say you were?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'd be 42.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so a week within a week after this comes out.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: So you're like what I call the bridge generation.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, my kid, my my son is 38.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the bridge generation got I apologize.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like they got my generation, it is the very tail end of the baby boomers.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: So they went through all kinds of trauma, all kinds of trauma, and they were not good at nurturing.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, what happened with our gener, my generation is that we totally swung to the other side of the pendulum and over-nurtured.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for whatever reason, and I'm noticing this, your generation, my son, you you guys are like coming in the center somehow because you can see the way we were, and we're not giving you guys what like it was almost like helicopter parenting, which is not good either, right?
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's either no nurturing like we got, or helicopter parenting.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you're in the middle going, you know, wait, what what's happening right now?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so you saw that from us, and then you have to kind of figure out a way to, and you've also seen like technology is all shifted.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: You you guys got almost as much technology change as we did.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: You guys, I don't know, I don't think you were old enough.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I got the dial phone.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right, you did have that?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because some, depending on like if you live in a rural area, you were gonna have a dial phone, but a lot of kids your age didn't get that, right?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: But then you have all these things that you had to learn that most generations after you come in and they're like cell phone, yeah, right?
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: So they didn't understand any of that stuff.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Then on the other side of it, is you understand us, and then all these kids coming behind you are so aware.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: They're like beyond aware.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got the ones that are constantly here on the phone, and then you've got the ones that are so you're learning, you're understanding how not to do this, and maybe you're seeing the things that are happening, or or the the the way the kids are coming in now, where there's they're like they know everything.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how but you wanna, but what you're doing, and I'm grateful for it.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: What you're doing with your children is you're giving them an opportunity without just saying no, and I'm not gonna tell you why, because that's how your generation and my generation were raised.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like in some cases, you don't need to know why.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: You did something wrong, you're gonna get punished for it.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Go to your room.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't like telling my kids because I said so.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's that doesn't so what did I do?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, yeah.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, why can I not, you know, if I say something like, or any parent says, don't touch the stove, you know, the response of well, why can't I not touch the stove shouldn't be because I said so.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_03: It should be because you're gonna burn yourself.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: But they're still gonna be curious, though.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: Kids are always But at least I gave you a reason why you shouldn't touch the stove.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, come in the house by the time the street lights come on.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: They still do you all still do that?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: My kids don't go outside.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yours does.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of these kids don't go outside.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I asked that question.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, whoa.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: I had to think about it.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do we even have a street light?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, I said it almost my house is the kid, the neighborhood house.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so all the kids in the neighborhood and outside the neighborhood, they come to my house because there's a field about as wide as the studio between my house and then the neighbor's house, and that's where they play football, they play kickball.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we had to stop them from playing baseball, softball because uh windows.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_03: Some of y'all can't hit, you know, and we like our windows.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but they cost a little more than they used to.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, and then when it snows, you know, they get their cardboard boxes or they get the little sleds, and we have this high hill that goes from like the floor to the top of the uh the loft, and they slide down, and after that, they go back home.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, so oh, that's what I was talking about.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: The streetlights, I don't know.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_03: All the kids are always at my house.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: The next thing I know, the parents are calling, hey, is my son down there?
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: And he's like, Yes, come get them.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then they drive to pick them up.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm like, and then with the summer, the sun goes down at like nine o'clock now.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_03: My kids are usually in the house by eight, eight thirty anyway.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: Because at that point they're like, All right, I'm done.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I've been outside since 11 o'clock this morning.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like, so I forgot where I was going with that.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, right.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the thing is like I'll I'll reel us back in.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like the inner that's the inner child.
• 35:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the inner, the inner child needs guidance and love and protection and all these different things.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when they don't get it, it's like when you have a trauma, I'm gonna get technical here for a second, but when you're traumatized as a child, it's the trauma.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: I I learned this a while ago, is like a loop.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: It comes around and it goes through these cycles, right?
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Trauma, whatever the cycle is.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: That part I can't remember right now.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it goes through the cycle, but there's always with a trauma, there's a gap at the bottom that stays open.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and when the gap stays open, that child grows up with that gap.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: You being the parent that you are are filling the gap.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_03: Filling in all the gaps.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe not all of them, but you got some of them you got going.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're not, but no one's perfect at parenting.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: Parenting's very difficult.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-uh.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_03: That is a day-by-day thing.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's a moment-by-moment thing.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because even their their energy and their whatever changes minute to minute.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you gotta keep up with all of that stuff, you know, right?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: So there's nothing wrong with you either.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: You're just trying to track all of that.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Spock was not a good, yeah.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's a book that's this man named Dr.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Spock wrote on how to something about raising children.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember, but it wasn't, yeah, there was a lot of really weird information in there.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I I digress.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it, I mean, you literally have to figure this out as you go.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something you can read in a book ever.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but with but with you or with with the inner child, like when you're as a child who was traumatized, let's talk about you for a minute, right?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you were traumatized as a child.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to get into it.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: I already know pieces of it you kind of shared.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_03: They do too.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and I'm sure they were traumatized too.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so as a child, you're traumatized, you have the gap, and then you go through life trying to figure out, you know, and then when let's say you somebody made you angry, but you weren't allowed to speak up, right?
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing like you brought up earlier.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: You had to just that's it, can't cry, can't do this, can't whatever.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or sadness with men is a big one.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not allowed to cry.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that that's sadness right there at that block or that opening.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so later on in life, every time sadness, sadness is an energy.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: All emotions and feelings are energies.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: So sadness comes in from something else, and you're like, it stops probably here.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when it stops here, it stops you from feeling the sadness because you probably from fear, you don't want someone to say you're whatever because you're crying or you know, whatever.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so you block it.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: And every single time sadness comes in, it gets stuck.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stacked.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then when that happens, it builds and it builds and it builds and it builds.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, one day, that's what I call the dark night of the soul.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like your soul ain't gonna put up with that anymore.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be like, I've poked at you enough, you didn't listen to me, and now I'm really gonna poke at you.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when it all comes out.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, a dark night of the soul, you're by yourself because you need to be.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: But but it's it's a thing where you get to connect with your soul.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: You get to release that.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: It wants you.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we're here.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's a moment of, like you said, it's a moment of release.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: And you just sit in it.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_03: You kind of have to, you have no other choice but to sit in it.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly right.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's the best way to put it, yeah.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_03: And regardless of where you are, determines in a sense, how hard you sit in it.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it can happen while you're driving, it could happen in the shower.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_03: It could happen first thing as soon as you wake up in the morning.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_03: And again, it takes over your body.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: You have to still figure out how to function to get certain things done.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you're driving, you can't just be like, oh, you know, you you gotta keep your hands on the steering wheel.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you have to still be attentive to your surroundings, but you still gotta dial in, tap in, and let that mess go.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I'm not saying that it's always easy to let go, but you have to, even if it's just an inkling, just a little small piece that you can just have released.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_03: You still have to something.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's exactly.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you did that.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I was gonna say breath.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're driving, don't cry.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: Tell your what I've learned is to tell myself, okay, we're gonna set up a time.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and generally when something comes up, it's better to get it out while it's coming up and not wait because then it'll come up next time, even bigger, right?
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, but if you're driving, just do breath work because it's easy to do that and it's not gonna be as overwhelming as crying would be, right?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_04: True.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's coming up, especially if you're by yourself, the best thing that you can do is let it come up.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I remember um years ago, like I was so afraid of getting angry.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was always told, and as women, we were taught that.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: See, there's truth in there too.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we were taught not to get, I was taught not to get angry.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're taught not to get sad, to be sad.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: So my anger built, built, built.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when I started feeling these things come up, I was afraid I was gonna rage out and I didn't know how to control it.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: It never happened that way.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was weird, but I was afraid of that.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember something happened, my life was falling apart.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: I say da-da-da because it's happened quite a few times.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm sitting there, and for whatever reason, and grief, we grief is a huge part of this, right?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: So for whatever reason, I looked over at the clock and it was whatever time, six minutes after something, whatever.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, all right, let it rip.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna let it rip because I'm okay at crying, I'm fine with it.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I wasn't really that good at grieving.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a different kind of cry when you grieve.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I pictured it.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, all right, just let it go.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna rage.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know everything's gonna be okay.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's the I know everything's gonna be okay.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I just balled and cried and I was like on the bed and sweating and doing the whole thing or whatever.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when I got done, and this is I'm not gonna say this is gonna happen with everybody, but it's close.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't happen as long as you think it's gonna be.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I looked over at the clock, it was six minutes later.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy because it and then I felt like like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the thing with grief and with feelings and all that kind of stuff is all is the allowing piece of it to let it go.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you hold on to it, that adds to that little kid.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: That is the little kid trying to come out and and be who they need to be and have been stifled.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: But by letting out that feeling, you're letting out that the thing that you held on to tightly for so long that you've wanted to let go of, that you wanted to let go when you were a child and couldn't do it.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you let it out, you're gonna feel like, whoa, okay, everything is pretty now.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: We hold on to things way longer than it takes to release it.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm gonna go there because this is something simple that everybody has to do.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: Think about you're in the midst of doing something, it's like, okay, I need to go to the restroom.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then next thing you know, it's an hour later.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I still gotta go pee.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's like, but I gotta get this done.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it takes less than two minutes to fully do what you have to do in the bathroom.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, I should have been done this.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: This is our day-to-day life here in the studio.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that happens when you're on a podcast and you can't get up in the middle of a conversation and say, Whoops, sorry, I gotta pee.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_03: You'd be surprised.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: There has been at least one episode that I did have to cut because it was like, hold on.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's not lasting any longer.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_03: Just saying, it's not working.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_03: At least one.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, you know, process it.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: Just flush it.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Literally.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: However, flush it out.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: However, it has to happen.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, but that's so interesting.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: That I mean, I how we got here is I don't know.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_00: But what's interesting about this is it kind of leads into what I'm learning.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think I mentioned earlier about the body.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: We don't pay attention to our body, we put our body off, we don't like it.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: We've been taught not to like it.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: We've been taught to ignore it.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: We've been taught to hate it.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: We've been taught to hate illness.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Illness is our body talking to us and tell telling us that this is that there's something you need to do here, but we don't even understand what that is because we don't know how to listen to our bodies, right?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: So even something like you said, as simple as peeing, going to the bathroom.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: Come on.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, I've been there.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've done it a lot where I just totally ignore myself.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's like, wait, just hold on a minute.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta finish this one thing.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to, I just want to find a stopping point.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to do whatever.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: And meanwhile, my body's going, get up and go to the bathroom.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: Or just order the food and get it delivered.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: It yeah.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's starving yourself for the next three hours.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: My head, I need to eat.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: I need to eat.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then you still typing away.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_03: You're doing so many other things except for, like you said, paying attention to what your body is telling you.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so simple.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: It is, it's doesn't it show just how alike we are, how much more alike we are than we're different.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_03: In general.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: In everything.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Everything.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's so we are human.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's no other there's this human and this human and this human and this human and this human.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: We are human.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_04: We the end.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: The end.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: And but there's a and there's a and though, because not only are we human and we think we need to fix ourselves, we're also the we're also divine.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's inside of us too.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're love, we're light, we're presence.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think I said this earlier.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because but that's the thing is when we finally recognize that we're human and accept the fact that we're human, and again, I'm repeating all this stuff that I'm learning from Panash.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh my gosh.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's true though.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: The minute you accept something, I'm human.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: I accept the fact that I'm human.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I behave this way because I was traumatizes a child.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder I'm behaving this way, right?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: When you start accepting that, it's not hard.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not hard.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that brings us closer together as humans because then we can recognize oh, well, I screwed that up.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: You screwed something up, whatever.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_03: There's a connection.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's a of course there is.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's and then he's leading to oneness.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: We are all one.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of things you don't necessarily have to have a full-blown conversation about.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: It can just be certain things spoken.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like Shamar and I, we hear it a lot.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like, y'all are the same.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: And we're like, no, we're not.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_03: And then there are other people that are like, y'all like good cop, bad cop.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_03: And then they're like, one of you is nicer in these situations compared to the other one.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_03: And we are just like, no, like Shamar has said before, um, there have been people that are like, you're never gonna find anybody as business minded as you.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then I show up.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like people don't understand the connection that we have to the businesses that we run and the people that we talk to and deal with within this space, not necessarily the studio, but just in this industry and outside.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we can Shamar says there's not a place that we don't go where I don't know somebody.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's because I talk to a lot of people.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: You.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_03: Me.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_03: He says I heard that.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so okay, Caroline, we gotta, we gotta push forward.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: You sure we don't want to do like a four-hour podcast?
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't have that much space.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_03: I don't either.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-uh.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_03: Because some cards.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh so listen, um, yeah, I don't even want to ask the second question because to an extent, I don't feel like it needs to be axed.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_03: Do you feel it needs to be axed, Shamar?
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: Note.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so we agree.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_03: See?
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_03: Connection.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: So But I did want to say something real quick.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: Can I say it?
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever says what they say in our lives comes to it from their own fear or their own misunderstanding of what they're seeing in front of them.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like they don't know what goes on here.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know what goes on here because you're here and you are you each times two.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so it's and then some days you're gonna be on the same wavelength.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then some days you're gonna be, that's again being human.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to throw that in there because that's what happens with people, and when someone says something like that, they're they just don't understand.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's they're human too, right?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's just a thing.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to bring that up because it was like we know a lot and we don't know anything.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_03: We know everything and nothing at all.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I'd say.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_03: So Caroline.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, as we I had to end it without this to a close, what seed would you like to plant for those that are um battling whatever it may be.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think that from my perspective, from someone who has like I hated myself my whole life.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and we come into into these situations in our lives and we think there's something wrong with us.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for people to know that there isn't anything wrong with you, to go back to that remembering that you're human, to go back that's to like the reason that you're having all these things have nothing to do with who you are, the truth of who you are.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because somebody else behaved toward you from their own fear or trauma or anger or whatever, that never had anything to do with you.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: So when you come to it from that perspective and then just be open to the things that come like if you're if you're willing to pursue healing, if you're willing to um take a new direction in your life, you gotta be courageous because it's it's a scary, I mean, I you know, it you go when I say dark night of the soul, there's a dark night, it's dark, you know, and dark isn't meant to be scary.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's meant to be um, it's meant for us to bring our light back to it, to ourselves.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_00: So for you to, for whoever, to just be aware of things and just pay attention and just be brave because we're all brave.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look at all crap that we got to do every day of our lives.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_00: That takes a lot of bravery, especially in the world today.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so just know that there's a truth inside of you that is pulling you to recognize that that truth is you being love and be open to whatever shows up in that space.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that made sense.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because it made sense in my head when I said it.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_03: It makes sense.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_03: It makes sense.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_03: I had a whole um response and I forgot what it was, but at the end of the day, deal with things when they happen.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_03: How they however you need to deal with it, you know.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um and if you can't deal with it in the moment, then give yourself some grace.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes, because if you can't deal with it in the moment, you're gonna beat yourself up.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do that.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's not right.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: So give do the grace thing too.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, be tap into yourself more often.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a good, there's a good, decent human in there, whether you believe that or not.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's a light in there.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you're tapping in.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're tapping into that light.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna let it shine.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_03: And that's all you're doing.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_03: Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, listen, Caroline.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: Can you tell the people where to find you if they're interested in finding you or your podcast?
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I have uh two websites, actually.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: One of them is for the podcast.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's awakening souldivinity.com, which is also on YouTube.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then I have another.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't listen, if you don't watch YouTube, it's also you can find me on mindbodyspirit.fm, which links back to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, all those things.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a site where you can actually also find a whole bunch of other, you know, podcasts on there if you're interested in looking at them too.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then for the spiritual alchemy piece of it, if you want to learn a little bit more about that, um, Carolinerena.com, C-A-R-O-L-I-N-E, R-E-N-A.com.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I am also on Substack uh as well.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't remember my tagline for Substack, but I'm in there.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: You can look me up under Caroline Rena, I think.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm doing on there is I'm bringing out um, I wrote a lot of poems, and the poems were related to my growth journey during that time.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm putting it together.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm saying this out loud in public.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, putting it together in a poem book, and I'm kind of throwing a lot of these poems onto Substack with my reflections from where I am now back to where I was when I wrote the poem and having kind of this conversation with myself and recognizing who I was back then and who who where I'm at now.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so Substack for sure.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think that's it.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's that's good enough.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's good enough.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, with that being said, this is this, I don't think I prepped you for this one.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: This is the space where I open the floor for you to ask me a question, make a statement, uh comment, whatever.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_03: So this is a good thing.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be harder on you than it is on me.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_03: It usually is.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it felt like when you said that.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's why when I said I just be like, I don't know what I'm about to be asked.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_03: She's thinking, Shamar.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_03: She indeed thought about it too.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have we seen each other?
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_00: Three now?
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_03: Three.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's something about a gift that I have of being able to see the potential in people.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: Break it down.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I like this where I like where this is going.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yes, don't shake, don't say no.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: Don't say no.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just you, but I'm saying it to you because I'm sitting here in front of you and you just asked me to.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: You sure?
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm never sure, but yes.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but that's brave.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: What I said about being brave.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: You have I could see your light.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen it since the first time I met you, walking it, and you're like big old smile on your face, welcoming, kind, all of it.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: We had wonderful conversation that day, right?
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_00: You remember that?
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you remember the fact that I could see through you?
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I remember this.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: I still see that.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_00: I still see that.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_00: I will always see that in people, not everybody, but most people who were who are ready.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you're ready.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're ready.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't know that you're ready to be who you are already.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_03: I can agree.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow you called me in, buddy, because that happens a lot with me.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like people will either think about something that they want in their life to change, or you know, a prayer or whatever.
• 58:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they they, I don't know how it is.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: I show up and then all of a sudden things just go.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not, I'm not like bragging anything on this.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's more like that's just my experience as to what's happened before.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_00: But something you wanted, why random?
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: I walk in the thing that day, and here we're sitting here talking about this.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_00: So right?
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: So hear me when I say you are more powerful than you think you are.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'll accept it.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_02: I receive it.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, good.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently, this has been a discussion.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's been a plethora of discussions.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: And this is your validation that it's true.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_03: Well then.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: Alrighty then.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_03: But no, you're you're right.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just part of that ongoing internal battle.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I told Shamar a few times.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_03: I thought you were whispering on the mic.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I told Shamar a few times when it comes to certain things, I just have to do.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_03: Because if I don't just do, I'll think and then I'll overthink, and then nothing happens.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_03: And all of it just ties back into you know what you're doing, you know where you are, you know where you're wanting to be, you know where you need to be.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_03: What are you doing?
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like I said in the beginning.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_03: So what happened?
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know, what's happening?
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just filtering.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you gotta get rid of the the bad stuff, the bad minerals, the bad seeds, the the things that just don't need to be there holding you back.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: But let me ask you something.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_00: Aren't those things making who making you who you are now?
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, but those are also the things that have me in a sense overthinking certain things.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, I get it.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the overthinking causes you to overthink about the fact that they're bad.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense when I say that?
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, here's the thing.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm only saying it because someone said it to me once.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're there's not a lot you need to do.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to make a choice.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: And your choice is to know who you are.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing more than that.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when you know who you are and you accept the fact that you're human and you've done all the whatever you've done and been who you've been, and you're trying to do this and you're trying to do that, when you accept that, allow the process to move forward in whatever way it does.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then you don't need to worry about, well, I got to do it this way, and I gotta because half the time we make these goals and dreams and do-do whatever, and that's not the direction we're supposed to be going in anyway, because something else is gonna show up, right?
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you get to go in here.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Out here has nothing to do with anything.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_00: In here, it reflects out there.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_00: So whenever you shift all this stuff, it's gonna change all that.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_03: True.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're a good human.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna sit on this.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you better.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, listen, y'all.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_03: This has been another great episode recorded here at the premiere space called Charlotte Podcast Studio.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we're done.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_03: Thank y'all for tuning in to another episode of Creative Roots Podcast where Seed Song Become Visions grown.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_03: I am your host, Tay, and I'm telling y'all this at the end, like the episode ain't over.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, shout out to Alalix Studios.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_03: Shamar's not on cue.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you were gonna do all three of them.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you never gave me an opportunity to introduce myself again since you finally introduced yourself.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: You're just hey, stay right there.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: I need you to focus on what was just told you.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I got this, I'll wrap this up.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, this was a beautiful conversation.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: I learned a lot.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of gems were dropped.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: Thank y'all for tuning in, and we are gonna catch y'all in the next one.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_01: Peace.