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120 - Bet on Yourself, Then Sign the Contract · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Brett: Hey friends, welcome back to the Getting After it podcast.
• 0:03
  Brett: This is the very first installment of my new series that I'm going to be talking about, which is our code series, and we're going to be studying over the next few months famous codes like the samurai, bushido, medieval chivalry, and we're going to even dive into some pirates because, believe it or not, they had a code they lived by as well.
• 0:22
  Brett: But before we get to that point, I'm going to talk about my own code, what I live by, what that means and how it helps me get after it.
• 0:30
  Brett: So, without further ado, let's get into it, baby.
• 0:34
  Brett: All right, a little update.
• 0:42
  Brett: It's been a long week, it's been a little hard.
• 0:43
  Brett: I've been a long week, it's been a little hard, I've been traveling a lot, I've been sick, but hey, we're back at it, we're getting after it.
• 0:50
  Brett: That's the whole point of this mindset is that when things happen, you pivot and you make do with what you have.
• 0:57
  Brett: So thanks for being patient as I work on getting some of these episodes created and uploaded.
• 1:02
  Brett: But we're back to it and, just as I mentioned in the intro, this is going to be the first installment of our code series, because I think there's a lot that we can learn from with other people's codes of conduct that they have their own personal codes that they live by, and pretty much the values and the virtues that people implement into their lives to make them who they are and to help them guided and like decision making and that kind of thing too.
• 1:28
  Brett: So it is important to have a code, and I'm putting my own personal code on the table today because I'm going to be peeling back the layers of my own beliefs and help me drive myself and leave things behind like comfort, learn how to sweat daily and own my mistakes, keep my promises, especially the people I love the most, and by the end of this episode, you'll not only know my own code, but hopefully you'll have the exact prompts and exercises to build your own.
• 2:02
  Brett: That's ultimately what this is for.
• 2:04
  Brett: Prompts and exercises to build your own.
• 2:07
  Brett: That's ultimately what this is for.
• 2:07
  Brett: So grab a notebook or put on your favorite shoes and go for a run, if that's what you like to do with podcasts.
• 2:10
  Brett: Settle down with your favorite drink.
• 2:13
  Brett: I'll bring mine out.
• 2:14
  Brett: Got a little bit of Barks root beer here, zero sugar.
• 2:19
  Brett: Don't be crazy as I spill on myself.
• 2:23
  Brett: Great way to start an episode, okay.
• 2:26
  Brett: Anyways, I have been thinking about like what principles I live by that I would deem as my own code.
• 2:34
  Brett: It's pretty simple, but I want to first talk about why this came up and what got me started thinking about this.
• 2:43
  Brett: And about three years ago I took a leap for myself, and it was a leap of courage.
• 2:47
  Brett: I decided to leave my house in Arizona and move up to Utah, which none of my immediate family lived there.
• 2:54
  Brett: It was only close relatives, aunts and uncles, a couple of cousins that live in Utah, and I was very comfortable where I was at.
• 3:02
  Brett: I was living with my parents, rent free and still working a full-time job.
• 3:07
  Brett: The fridge would magically get refilled because my mom was always taking care of it.
• 3:14
  Brett: All my close loved ones were by my brothers.
• 3:19
  Brett: I would say they're my best friends.
• 3:23
  Brett: They were right next to me, they were my support system at the time.
• 3:27
  Brett: But there was something that needed to change in my life.
• 3:32
  Brett: I noticed it, I recognized it.
• 3:34
  Brett: I didn't know what it was and looking back now I can see that I needed to take the leap to get out on my own, start making some difficult decisions on my own and ultimately try and make a life for myself that wasn't relying on other people, and so the first thing that I want to talk about with my own code was courage.
• 3:53
  Brett: There was a lot of courage that needed to go into place in order to make this happen, and some people might have you know, they might hear this and be like you were scared to move up to Utah to go out on your own, when, like, that's what everyone does yes, I was, and it's probably because I was going to be 11 hours away from my support system the people that I loved.
• 4:19
  Brett: I lived on my own a few times in college was one, when I served a mission for my church was another time, and I knew how difficult it was, and that was something that I needed to confront.
• 4:29
  Brett: On top of that, I was starting a new job at a company that I didn't know too much about at the time.
• 4:35
  Brett: The position itself was a little.
• 4:38
  Brett: I was questioning whether or not I'd even be able to do it, because I was coming from marketing and I was getting into sales, and also, on top of that, I was overcoming my sickness, which I've talked about on this podcast, but I was just getting over that and I was just getting better.
• 4:54
  Brett: I was starting to get my treatments.
• 4:56
  Brett: And so I had this internal thought, that this internal discussion with myself, where I realized that I had two options One was to stay safe and the other is take a bet on myself.
• 5:07
  Brett: And I chose the gamble.
• 5:09
  Brett: I rolled the dice, I went with it because I knew that something good would come from it.
• 5:15
  Brett: If anything, I would know that that was not the right decision for me to take.
• 5:19
  Brett: So I packed up my car.
• 5:21
  Brett: I hugged my my dad.
• 5:23
  Brett: My mom helped me move.
• 5:24
  Brett: I packed up my car.
• 5:25
  Brett: I hugged my dad.
• 5:25
  Brett: My mom helped me move into my new apartment.
• 5:26
  Brett: I drove up north with nothing but my intuition and what I had with me.
• 5:40
  Brett: I want you to think back to a moment where safety fought risk.
• 5:42
  Brett: For you, what took the scale?
• 5:43
  Brett: What made you take that point?
• 5:44
  Brett: Because that's the start.
• 5:47
  Brett: Your code begins where your comfort ends, and courage isn't the absence of fear.
• 5:52
  Brett: It's instead the decision that growth is worth the tremble.
• 5:56
  Brett: That's what it's all about.
• 5:58
  Brett: Chris Williamson says that if you are scared but choose to be brave instead, that is courage, like that's exactly what that is.
• 6:08
  Brett: And it might be so easy for you to just dismiss that and be like ah well, I'm not a courageous person.
• 6:14
  Brett: Well, do something today that can.
• 6:17
  Brett: And this whole episode is going to have actionable steps because, like I mentioned, I want to give you the prompts and the outlines to where you can create your own code that you live by.
• 6:26
  Brett: So step number one is write one paragraph or origin story of the last time you voluntarily walked into uncertainty, identify the value that pulled you forward, circle it, and that is the cornerstone of your evolving code.
• 6:41
  Brett: So what is the principle, what is the value that pushed past all your negative thoughts, that threw doubt out the window, and you still led and followed in that values footsteps.
• 6:55
  Brett: Circle that.
• 6:57
  Brett: That's the beginning of your code.
• 7:01
  Brett: Another very important piece of this for myself is choosing to uplift others, and it sounds cliche, but there's a lot behind that.
• 7:09
  Brett: Like every interaction that I try and have with someone whether it's the person that's checking me out at the supermarket, or my wife, or some random guy at work that I'm talking to on a sales call that's super pissed off, but I want to see if I can make him smile.
• 7:24
  Brett: That's my goal is to make one person smile in every interaction, because I don't know, I mean, I think the world is full of so much negativity that it's it's an easy thing to overlook.
• 7:35
  Brett: Like trying to make someone smile Sounds creepy, sometimes, like I don't know, but I don't know.
• 7:42
  Brett: In a world of negativity, I think it goes a long way.
• 7:46
  Brett: And the Stokes remind us that we can't control, you know, the economy, the weather, what goes on in social media, but we can control the atmosphere that we carry and our responses, like Marcus Aurelius called it, being the bright torch in the dark, and I think there's something to that.
• 8:04
  Brett: You don't want to go throughout your day and blend into the crowd.
• 8:08
  Brett: You want to be someone who is recognized when they walk in a room because that person makes them smile.
• 8:14
  Brett: And I'm not saying I do that for people, but I try.
• 8:17
  Brett: I try and make them happy, I try and cheer up their day or, if they're having a hard one, try and listen to them, hear them out out and see if I can help at all.
• 8:25
  Brett: And I think it's a good time for you to pause and think when's the last time that you intentionally brighten someone's day?
• 8:35
  Brett: Because that's a, that's a easy thing to do, but we don't do it a lot and um, lot and um.
• 8:52
  Brett: The point I'm trying to get at here is you have to draft, you have to think of a one line thing that you want every time that you interact with someone.
• 8:55
  Brett: Mine is I leave every room lighter than I found it.
• 8:58
  Brett: That's what I try and do.
• 8:59
  Brett: I try and brighten the day.
• 9:00
  Brett: Like for you it could be something completely different, like maybe you want to make someone, um, trust you more with every interaction, or you want to be someone who people can rely on for, uh, if they have issues in their life, I don't know, but you want to be someone who's easily talk, talk to and is an open book.
• 9:19
  Brett: Maybe that's something that you have, but I think it's important for you to figure out for yourself how do I want to portray myself in social interactions?
• 9:28
  Brett: How do I want people to see me and then reflect that Be the person that you would like to meet in public.
• 9:34
  Brett: But understand what that is and write it down, and that's another piece to the puzzle that you're going to be solving today.
• 9:42
  Brett: So make it unavoidable.
• 9:45
  Brett: So, if that means you write down whatever that little one liner is, like I said, mine is leave every room lighter than I found it.
• 9:51
  Brett: You write that down, you post it on your, your mirror.
• 9:53
  Brett: So every day you leave before work or you go about your day, you always see it and it's it's viewable.
• 9:58
  Brett: Keep it top of mind.
• 9:59
  Brett: Now, this is an important one for me.
• 10:04
  Brett: This next topic is discipline, but not necessarily like discipline in all aspects of your life.
• 10:11
  Brett: I mean discipline at dawn, discipline when the alarm goes off and I need to go work out.
• 10:17
  Brett: That is a non-negotiable for me.
• 10:19
  Brett: My body, politely, will file a complaint and say, hey, you know, you know what?
• 10:24
  Brett: Maybe today's not the day you should really rest up, and that's a nice thing for my body to say.
• 10:29
  Brett: But you know, my bed is warm, my muscles ache and again those whispers come in.
• 10:38
  Brett: Skip, today You've earned it, you've been working hard.
• 10:40
  Brett: That's the cue for me.
• 10:43
  Brett: To lace up and move and get going Like daily exercise is my first win of the day and it proves to myself that I have discipline to push past comfort and to see not instant gratification but delayed gratification, because the results that I get in the gym don't happen day to day.
• 11:03
  Brett: It happens month to month and year to year, and so I always think about when I wake up.
• 11:10
  Brett: There's always two thoughts that go through my mind.
• 11:12
  Brett: It's one you will regret not working out.
• 11:14
  Brett: And two exercise your discipline.
• 11:16
  Brett: It's one you will regret not working out.
• 11:16
  Brett: And two exercise your discipline.
• 11:17
  Brett: It's those two things, and whenever I have that happen, I recognize that you know what.
• 11:23
  Brett: I just need to get up and start moving my body.
• 11:26
  Brett: Going upstairs, mixing my Celtic salt with my pre-workout, mixing it up, hitting that back and let's go.
• 11:32
  Brett: It's time to get after it, because who am I to tell you to do that If I don't do it myself?
• 11:39
  Brett: I hold myself to a very high standard, and that's the point of this code is it's it's supposed to give you an outline of how you want to live your life, and for me, I want to live a life that's full of discipline, because I've seen the results that come from being disciplined, and a lack of discipline, in my opinion, is ugly.
• 11:55
  Brett: If you can't control yourself, you can't control your impulses or anything like that.
• 12:00
  Brett: You might need to take a look inside and say why is this happening?
• 12:05
  Brett: How come?
• 12:06
  Brett: I can't control my responses to things, but discipline has been a way for me to do that and to exercise that, and that's why it's always.
• 12:12
  Brett: The first, non-negotiable of my day is exercising discipline, and that's why it's?
• 12:14
  Brett: It's always the first non-negotiable of my day is exercising discipline, and that usually takes the form of a workout, but it's waking up early and getting it done, like of course, things happen in life.
• 12:25
  Brett: Like, like I mentioned in the beginning of this, I've been sick for a couple of days and so I haven't worked like I worked out today, but a couple of past days I needed a rest and so obviously my body's not going to say, hey, you're not being disciplined, you need to get up and move.
• 12:39
  Brett: When I'm throwing up, um, lightheaded, like I can't move Right, that's stupid, I'm not going to go do that.
• 12:46
  Brett: But it is important to understand where you can exercise discipline and go and do it.
• 12:51
  Brett: So I wouldn't say that is a keystone for me, that is a habit, something that I need to do every day to prove to myself that I can conquer whatever comes my way.
• 12:59
  Brett: So for you, it could be something like a workout as well, it could be journaling, it could be 10 pages of reading, but whatever it is, commit to a seven-day streak and I want you to track it, get that data so you can look at it and feel the momentum compound that seven days could turn into 14, which could turn into 28, which can turn into a few months.
• 13:22
  Brett: Right, that's how it works.
• 13:24
  Brett: But you need to start and you need to commit, and that's why I say it's a non-negotiable for me, because every night, when I set my alarms manually I don't have it on like an automatic alarm I set them up manually and I tell myself, okay, tomorrow we're getting up and we're going to go work out, no matter how tired I am when I go to bed, no matter how tired I am when I wake up, when my body is sore and it's yelling at me not to do it, I do it, and sometimes it's not as great as it should be.
• 13:49
  Brett: Sometimes my workouts are 60% of what they could be 40% even but I'm still showing up and that's the importance of getting after it.
• 13:58
  Brett: So figure out what that keystone habit is for you and commit to a seven-day streak.
• 14:04
  Brett: You will see yourself open up doors that you didn't think was possible and I promise you that that will happen.
• 14:10
  Brett: It's happened to me.
• 14:13
  Brett: How many times have I told you on this podcast that I'm?
• 14:15
  Brett: I used to be some kid who was, you know, lackadaisical in his, in his day to day.
• 14:21
  Brett: He didn't really care about what his grades were in school.
• 14:24
  Brett: He got good grades but didn't really care for studying.
• 14:26
  Brett: He was only a nerd with things that he enjoyed, right, and he would eat a bunch of crap.
• 14:32
  Brett: I refer to him as fat Brett, but fat Brett has been killed by discipline and he lurks in there Like I think I told this story before, but I've eaten a 64 pack of Costco granola bars in two days.
• 14:49
  Brett: That's 32 bars a day.
• 14:50
  Brett: That's 3,200 calories a day.
• 14:52
  Brett: That's a lot, um, not recommended, but I did it.
• 14:55
  Brett: I did it and he's still in there, and so that's why I have to exercise discipline every single day to keep myself in check, because if I don't, I turn into a monster.
• 15:07
  Brett: On top of that, this is the next thing that plays into it a little bit is extreme ownership, because failure calls everyone sooner or later, and when it calls me, I channel my inner Jocko and I take extreme ownership, no matter how painful that might be and it's painful sometimes Owning up to your mistakes, owning up to things that you may have said or things you may have done Extreme ownership is important or things you may not have done, like if you're not hitting your workouts, if you're not sitting down and journaling, like you said you would, for seven days, and you're not doing those things.
• 15:43
  Brett: You need to take extreme ownership of your life and you need to realize that no one's going to give these results to you except for you.
• 15:49
  Brett: That's the power of extreme ownership, for example, like if I missed a deadline.
• 15:55
  Brett: That's the power of extreme ownership, for example, like if I missed a deadline.
• 15:58
  Brett: That's on me.
• 15:58
  Brett: If I lost my temper, me again.
• 16:00
  Brett: All these little things are because of my own actions and you have to take ownership of them.
• 16:05
  Brett: It's going to do two things for you.
• 16:07
  Brett: One, it's going to help your relationship with yourself.
• 16:09
  Brett: You're no longer going to be lying to yourself.
• 16:11
  Brett: That will no longer be an option.
• 16:13
  Brett: And then, two, it's going to help others see that in you and trust you more and say hey, you know what Brett is?
• 16:18
  Brett: Someone who, when he makes a mistake, he owns up to it and I I trust him with this project and that might get you a promotion at work.
• 16:24
  Brett: It might not, or it's.
• 16:26
  Brett: You know your wife who says you know what Brett he?
• 16:30
  Brett: He takes accountability for his actions.
• 16:32
  Brett: I know he's telling me the truth Like that's important.
• 16:35
  Brett: Your word is everything.
• 16:36
  Brett: And it's crazy because my wife and I always talk about this how, like back in the olden days, someone would give their word and that was their bond, and they would do everything that they could in their power to keep their word.
• 16:53
  Brett: And we've lost that.
• 16:54
  Brett: It's, it's we're.
• 16:56
  Brett: We live in a world where that doesn't matter.
• 16:58
  Brett: Your word means really nothing now, which is sad, because I still believe that your word is everything.
• 17:04
  Brett: That was taught to me from my dad, and he made it very clear that when you say you're going to do something, you own up and you get it done.
• 17:12
  Brett: If you tell someone that you're going to be there at their house at 8 am to help them move, you should show up at 8 am and help them move and bring donuts while you're at it.
• 17:22
  Brett: Like, own up to what you say you're going to do.
• 17:26
  Brett: That will get you so much farther in life than deciding that you know.
• 17:32
  Brett: Ah, I let it slip this time.
• 17:35
  Brett: Whatever, no, learn from your mistakes.
• 17:39
  Brett: That's what extreme ownership is.
• 17:41
  Brett: And sometimes, like this might sound super weird, but I'll talk to myself in the third person.
• 17:45
  Brett: It's like Brett giving a Ted talk to myself and I'll say things like hey, brett, come on, own up.
• 17:51
  Brett: Or hey, adjust your strategy, but let's keep going, or you may have slipped up yesterday, you may have missed your workout, but you're not missing it today.
• 18:02
  Brett: And sometimes I'll have to talk to myself that way and it sounds weird and it sounds like I might be crazy and I might be, but that's how I do it and that's what works for me and hopefully you can figure yourself or find something for yourself that works for you too.
• 18:16
  Brett: But I would say to you what's one time that you can recall a mistake that you made?
• 18:24
  Brett: And did you assign blame to someone else or did you accept that accountability?
• 18:31
  Brett: Think about that and to go on top of that I want you to think about.
• 18:36
  Brett: This is the exercise for you.
• 18:37
  Brett: I want you to write a failure debrief Like what happened, what did I control, what will I change next time, and use it within 24 hours the next time you stumble.
• 18:49
  Brett: So write those three things down what happened, what did I control and what will I change next time?
• 18:54
  Brett: Progress can only be measured if it's there, right, if you can see it, if you can write it down.
• 19:03
  Brett: The only way that you can learn from your mistakes is to learn from them and write them down and see them.
• 19:10
  Brett: It might sound like it's over the top, but I promise you that's how you find areas of your life that you can improve, that you can get better at, and it's one step at a time, but it takes reflection and and constant um constant self-work.
• 19:28
  Brett: It is not easy.
• 19:29
  Brett: Like getting after it is not anything that.
• 19:34
  Brett: It's not a lifestyle that I recommend to people who are not in it for the long haul.
• 19:40
  Brett: If they're looking for a short-term fix.
• 19:42
  Brett: This is not the podcast for you, because getting after it is a lifelong endeavor and this whole podcast is a great example of that, because, if you listen to my earlier episodes, I had no idea what the hell I was talking about, but I stayed in it and I focused on learning and getting better in certain areas of my life, like fitness, relationships, speaking and my own professional career.
• 20:07
  Brett: All these things that I hyper fixate on and my faith.
• 20:11
  Brett: Don't forget about that.
• 20:12
  Brett: Sorry, I overlooked that one, but all these things that I hyper fixate on are all things I want to get better at, and the only way to get better at them is to take steps every single day to improve where you're at.
• 20:24
  Brett: So think about that Now.
• 20:26
  Brett: This is where I think you can learn a lot from other people.
• 20:30
  Brett: You can learn a lot from historical figures, people who are currently alive, even fictional people, and I'll give you my list of examples here in a second.
• 20:39
  Brett: But I often think of people who I admire and I don't get jealous of them.
• 20:45
  Brett: Instead, I look at them and say, hey, you know what?
• 20:47
  Brett: Nick Bear is a great athlete.
• 20:49
  Brett: What is he doing that I can do and incorporate into my own training, because I want to be like that.
• 20:53
  Brett: It's not like, hey, nick bear's a great athlete, I can never be like him.
• 20:57
  Brett: No, the fact that he did it shows that I could be like him.
• 21:00
  Brett: But you know, I think it's important to look at other people for inspiration.
• 21:05
  Brett: That's why people say you know, find a mentor or find someone who's done it before you and ask them how they did it.
• 21:12
  Brett: And I would say I have a Mount Rushmore of influence, meaning that there's people who I look up to that I admire for many of their traits, the first being Jesus Christ.
• 21:24
  Brett: For many, many reasons.
• 21:27
  Brett: One he was an example of radical love.
• 21:33
  Brett: He loved everyone he came in contact with and he was trying to find a way to serve that person, to make their life a little easier.
• 21:40
  Brett: He taught leadership what it's like to be a leader, how to listen to everyone's needs within the group and adhere to them.
• 21:49
  Brett: And personally he would go and sit down with people, talk to them.
• 21:53
  Brett: And another thing I really admire about Christ is his detachment from materialism, which you know can go a long way nowadays.
• 22:05
  Brett: When you pull away from the want of worldly things, it's amazing to see how much you have, and it's a practice of gratitude.
• 22:15
  Brett: But Jesus Christ was the exemplar of this and there's so many other traits that he has that I wish I had.
• 22:22
  Brett: His humility, his um dedication to building up the kingdom of God Everything about Jesus Christ is something that I try to emulate and as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I try my best to emulate his teachings.
• 22:41
  Brett: The others are the Stoics.
• 22:43
  Brett: I love what they teach about mastering your own response also something that Jesus taught and remembering your mortality.
• 22:50
  Brett: They're the ones that kind of got memento mori up and running, popularized that thought, and from that it's like you know what?
• 23:00
  Brett: We don't all have infinite time on this earth.
• 23:03
  Brett: We should be maximizing our time on this earth by helping other people, by spending time with the people that we love by doing things that actually make us happy and fulfilled.
• 23:13
  Brett: That's what the Stokes taught that actually make us happy and fulfilled.
• 23:16
  Brett: That's what the Stokes taught.
• 23:16
  Brett: Then there's people like Michael Jordan, cameron Haynes, joe Rogan, david Goggins all these elite people, athletes, podcasters, whatever but they teach me how to like, they teach me that the reps are what matters, and they were relentless at that.
• 23:37
  Brett: In consistency, it beats talent.
• 23:39
  Brett: David Goggins is a great example of that how he went from a 315 pound man to a Navy SEAL, to an ultra marathon runner, and now he's just.
• 23:50
  Brett: He's built this mindset of being unbreakable, and that's something we can all use in our lives being a little bit more unbreakable each day.
• 24:01
  Brett: Now the last one, because I said you can also include a fictional character.
• 24:06
  Brett: Right, because some fictional characters they have good stuff.
• 24:08
  Brett: My wife's going to make fun of me for this.
• 24:13
  Brett: Doro from Red Rising.
• 24:14
  Brett: That guy's the man.
• 24:16
  Brett: That's such a good book series.
• 24:18
  Brett: If you haven't read it, go read it.
• 24:19
  Brett: It's damn good.
• 24:20
  Brett: But, doro, he proved I'm sorry, allie, doro proved that you can smash ceilings so everyone can rise with you.
• 24:31
  Brett: In that, you know what Hard work pays off.
• 24:34
  Brett: You know what.
• 24:36
  Brett: In that you know what Hard work pays off.
• 24:38
  Brett: You know what.
• 24:39
  Brett: I don't really look at Dara as a Mount Rushmore of influence.
• 24:41
  Brett: I just love his story so much, just wanted to throw that in there.
• 24:45
  Brett: But Dara's the man Anyways.
• 24:48
  Brett: But these voices, these people in my head that I look up to, they kind of form a round table, jesus at the head, and when I have a dilemma, I imagine sometimes pitching it to them.
• 25:00
  Brett: If I have an issue, what would Jesus say about it?
• 25:02
  Brett: Like, and it's interesting, it's an interesting exercise to go through.
• 25:07
  Brett: It's like you're having a conversation, and I do this pretty frequently.
• 25:13
  Brett: This is going to be.
• 25:14
  Brett: This will be a little what's it called?
• 25:19
  Brett: What's the word I'm looking for?
• 25:21
  Brett: It's going to be a little personal.
• 25:27
  Brett: Now I have talks with Jesus all the time and sometimes I'll come to him with a problem and say like I'll pretend I'm sitting on a log with him in the woods or something, and I'll say you know what, jesus, I'm having a hard time.
• 25:37
  Brett: This is the dilemma that I'm running into.
• 25:40
  Brett: What would you do?
• 25:42
  Brett: And then I just try and listen and I pretend that Jesus is talking to me.
• 25:48
  Brett: Call me crazy, it's.
• 25:50
  Brett: What I do is talking to me.
• 25:51
  Brett: Call me crazy, it's what I do, but it helps me, and it helps me focus, helps me get back on track and realize that I'm not so far down the road as I should be.
• 26:00
  Brett: You know, it's just like reassuring.
• 26:04
  Brett: But these people that I look up to are all people who I admire certain traits of and who have helped me build my own code, and so I want you to think back of people that you admire, and these are all famous people.
• 26:18
  Brett: I also did not mention my wife, my parents, my brothers all people who I truly admire for many different reasons.
• 26:27
  Brett: But I'm just trying to give paint a picture for you of like how you can look to others for inspiration, for guidance or just getting started on your own, getting after a journey.
• 26:36
  Brett: I want you to create a hero scoreboard and assign each virtue to a person living or dead, doesn't matter and note one practice from each hero that you will mimic in the coming days.
• 26:50
  Brett: Try it, just try it.
• 26:53
  Brett: Now.
• 26:56
  Brett: This is another very important one you need to have boundaries and you need to have priorities, like my.
• 27:03
  Brett: Number.
• 27:03
  Brett: One non-negotiable in life is my loyalty to Allie.
• 27:06
  Brett: If you're a lady out there and you think I'm cute, go pound sand, screw you, not talking to you ever and my wife will kill you.
• 27:16
  Brett: But my loyalty to my wife is very important to me.
• 27:20
  Brett: I made a commitment to her when we decided to get married that she is the only person that I will love.
• 27:26
  Brett: She is the only person that gets my attention.
• 27:28
  Brett: She's the only person that can call me when she has an issue and I will be there to answer it and I know it goes both ways, but that is something that I am.
• 27:40
  Brett: That is a boundary I will never cross is loyalty to my wife.
• 27:45
  Brett: I will remain faithful to her until the day I die, and that's very important to me, that she knows that and that everyone else knows it too.
• 27:55
  Brett: This ring on my finger it doesn't just symbolize that I'm married.
• 27:58
  Brett: It means that I am committed and in an eternal relationship with my wife.
• 28:02
  Brett: So that's non-negotiable Number one.
• 28:06
  Brett: Number two is nothing in my life will be illegal or immoral.
• 28:11
  Brett: I've seen those roads before and I've seen the paths that they lead to and it's nowhere that I want to end up.
• 28:18
  Brett: And so getting rid of of anything in my life that might be immoral, just not even getting rid of uh, avoiding, completely avoiding those things, because I heard um, oh, man, I.
• 28:34
  Brett: I want to find this quote really quickly because this was, this was a good one.
• 28:38
  Brett: Um, it's from Chris Williamson, but I don't think I'm going to find it in time.
• 28:42
  Brett: He talked about how temptation is always the easiest when it's avoided, is always the easiest when it's avoided If you're not in a place to be tempted, then you don't have to even think about making that decision.
• 28:55
  Brett: And so have some boundaries.
• 28:58
  Brett: Don't do anything immoral, don't do anything illegal.
• 29:00
  Brett: Stay true to the people that you say you're going to be true to.
• 29:04
  Brett: And you can have other non-negotiables as well.
• 29:08
  Brett: Like you're going to work out as much as you can, and that could be six days a week, it could be four days a week, three days a week, it doesn't matter, but make sure that you're doing what you can to work out, move your body.
• 29:18
  Brett: That might be a non-negotiable for you, but, like I said, I'm loyal to my wife to the day I die and beyond, and I will never do anything immoral or illegal.
• 29:28
  Brett: That never leads to good roads.
• 29:31
  Brett: I've seen it before and it's horrible what happens.
• 29:33
  Brett: It's really sad, actually, because a lot of the times that people get into activities like that, it's because they're hurting and it's because they didn't stay true to their morals, or maybe they didn't even have morals or values or code that they live by.
• 29:48
  Brett: That's why it's important to have something like this.
• 29:54
  Brett: It gives you direction, it helps guide your path and it creates a filter for you when you're making decisions.
• 29:57
  Brett: Like you can ask yourself what is the most pressing thing right now?
• 30:02
  Brett: And, for example, if the house is on fire, you're probably not going to vacuum, right?
• 30:08
  Brett: You focus faster on getting the fire taken care of instead of vacuuming the house.
• 30:13
  Brett: There might be dust everywhere, but your house is burning down.
• 30:17
  Brett: Take care of that first.
• 30:18
  Brett: What are your non-negotiables?
• 30:21
  Brett: And I want you to design somewhat of a commitment contract in a sense, but write one sentence defining a moral line in one sentence defining your priority filter, sign it, date it and stay true to it.
• 30:35
  Brett: Like, like I said, it is powerful having boundaries like that.
• 30:40
  Brett: It is powerful and it tells you automatically whenever you're presenting with an opportunity to do something stupid, you're like Nope, not crossing that line.
• 30:48
  Brett: Whenever you're presenting with an opportunity to do something stupid, you're like nope, not crossing that line.
• 30:51
  Brett: See ya, it's easy.
• 30:52
  Brett: It's an easy thing to do, but the important thing is you have to stay true to it.
• 30:58
  Brett: Now, at the end of the day, I I think about what I want my legacy to be and if I live my code, if I live whatever you want to call it to its nth degree.
• 31:13
  Brett: Hopefully I see results from that that I wanted to in the first place, right, and I thought about what I wanted people to say about me when I died.
• 31:24
  Brett: This is kind of silly, but I was thinking about, like, what would it mean to me?
• 31:29
  Brett: What do I want people to say when I die, about me?
• 31:33
  Brett: And it comes down to 13 words he worked hard, was a man of his word and he was full of love.
• 31:41
  Brett: That's it.
• 31:42
  Brett: That's how I want to be remembered, not some.
• 31:46
  Brett: He was the getting after it podcast host.
• 31:48
  Brett: He was an ultra marathoner, he I don't care about that stuff.
• 31:53
  Brett: What matters to me is that I worked hard, I was a man of my word and that I loved as much as I could.
• 31:58
  Brett: I love my wife, my family, my friends, people around me.
• 32:04
  Brett: I want people to know that I emulate love, as weird as that sounds, but that's what Jesus Christ did and I'm trying to live my life like him, so that's what I would say and my guiding star for that has been what's on my neck here.
• 32:18
  Brett: It's the credit goes to the man in the arena.
• 32:22
  Brett: It's that quote from Teddy Roosevelt.
• 32:23
  Brett: I've said it before on the podcast, but if you want more detail on it, go look it up.
• 32:28
  Brett: But basically that quote means to me that the credit goes to the man who tries.
• 32:32
  Brett: The credit goes to the man who, even if he experiences failure, he failed, daring, greatly, taking a chance on himself, taking a bet on himself.
• 32:48
  Brett: That's why, when I decided to move up to Utah, I was the man in the arena and I was recognizing that.
• 32:51
  Brett: You know, if I fail, I'm going to fail, daring greatly, doing something that I was afraid to do in the first place.
• 32:59
  Brett: A close second to that would be discipline equals freedom, because discipline is something that you cannot escape.
• 33:05
  Brett: You either embrace it or you suffer the consequences of avoiding.
• 33:09
  Brett: It cannot escape.
• 33:12
  Brett: You either embrace it or you suffer the consequences of avoiding it, and I don't want to do that.
• 33:15
  Brett: I do not want to suffer the consequences of avoiding discipline, because I've seen too many times the benefit of pushing myself, of putting away the instant gratification and relying more on that sustained, slow progress that is painful but leads to greater reward.
• 33:29
  Brett: It's long-term, it's long-lasting and a motto might sound cheesy, but in my experience it distills complexity into action and it's the line you quote when you're gasping at mile 20 or you're staring down some risky pitch deck, you're about to go into a sales meeting with.
• 33:53
  Brett: You remember the motto and you remember why you're doing it in the first place.
• 33:59
  Brett: For me, I want to go down as the man who tried.
• 34:02
  Brett: If I fail this podcast, you know what I tried.
• 34:07
  Brett: If I fail my job, I gave it my all.
• 34:10
  Brett: If I DNF a race, I must've been hurting pretty bad, but I tried.
• 34:15
  Brett: And so that's the point.
• 34:19
  Brett: These mottos aren't meant to be hung up on your wall.
• 34:22
  Brett: They're meant to be written on your heart so when things go wrong, you can remember them and you can think about it.
• 34:28
  Brett: So when things go wrong, you can remember them and you can think about it.
• 34:30
  Brett: Think of what your motto is and print your motto out, place a copy when you wake up, so it's right by your bed, or one on your phone, on your desk at work, just wherever you can see it every single day.
• 34:46
  Brett: That's why I wear it on my chest, on my necklace, so I can remember every time I put this necklace on, I'm committing to be the man in the arena, and you should do the same thing.
• 34:59
  Brett: We started today by talking about how courage was the first thing that got me started on my path.
• 35:06
  Brett: I had to take a step, I had to take a chance on myself on my path.
• 35:11
  Brett: I had to take a step, I had to take a chance on myself, and that's where the pillars came of being courageous, being uplifting, being disciplined, taking extreme ownership, being virtuous, setting boundaries and living a motto.
• 35:26
  Brett: Those are important things to me, and your code may look very different.
• 35:31
  Brett: In fact, I hope that it looks different because it should be personal to everybody.
• 35:36
  Brett: Remember, a personal code isn't some wallpaper, it's armor.
• 35:42
  Brett: It blends and it evolves over time.
• 35:46
  Brett: It collects scars.
• 35:49
  Brett: It evolves over time, it collects scars, but it never breaks If the, if the foundation is true.
• 35:57
  Brett: That's why I'm I'm reiterating it needs to be personal to you.
• 35:59
  Brett: So block out one hour this week, commit to one hour for yourself, revisit today's reflection and I'll put some questions in the show notes you can ask yourself to help you develop your own personal code.
• 36:14
  Brett: But draft your first response, your first draft.
• 36:18
  Brett: Do it Now.
• 36:22
  Brett: Next week, we travel back to Japan and unpack Bushido, which is something I'm pumped on.
• 36:30
  Brett: That is the samurai code Honor, duty and loyalty.
• 36:35
  Brett: How can a 700-year-old warrior ethos upgrade your Monday morning meeting?
• 36:41
  Brett: Well, tune in to find out, because that's what we're going to be talking about next week.
• 36:45
  Brett: And until that point, everybody, I appreciate you for listening.
• 36:50
  Brett: Thank you for spending time with me today.
• 36:53
  Brett: Got a little personal today, but I think it's important for you guys to know where I come from and where my thinking is.
• 37:00
  Brett: If this helped at all, leave a review, leave a comment.
• 37:04
  Brett: Share it with someone that might need it.
• 37:05
  Brett: Until that point, stay humble someone that might need it.
• 37:06
  Brett: Until that point, stay humble, stay disciplined and remember the arena is waiting for you to enter.
• 37:13
  Brett: Keep getting after my friends.