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Transcript

The Energetic Cost of People-Pleasing: How to Reclaim Your Feminine Power · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  If you are exhausted from saying yes, when you mean no, constantly caretaking for people around you and feeling resentful after you give people too much and they still disrespect you, this isn't just a bad habit.
• 0:43
  It's actually an energetic wound.
• 0:45
  And the reality is that people pleasing isn't kindness.
• 0:48
  And most people, especially healthy men, do not find it attractive because it's actually self abandonment.
• 0:56
  And today I'm gonna show you how you can reclaim your time.
• 0:59
  Reclaim your energy and reclaim your feminine power.
• 1:03
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:04
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life with all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:12
  Lately we're doing a lot of content about how you can be a high value woman from the inside out, and we're talking about a lot of the behaviors that healthy men, the ones that you guys want to attract, uh, find.
• 1:24
  Attractive so make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bus.
• 1:27
  You don't wanna say single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 1:30
  And as always, if I have any extra resources, classes, uh, ways to work with me to go deeper into the content that we talk about on these videos, and you will find the links to everything in the description and also in the comment.
• 1:43
  Section.
• 1:44
  Um, and I will make mention throughout the, the video if there's any specific class or program that makes sense for, um, that specific topic that I'll be teaching on today.
• 1:54
  So here's why.
• 1:55
  People pleasing is actually an energetic addiction.
• 1:58
  That's right.
• 1:59
  I said it.
• 2:00
  You basically learn to people please for survival, not because you're weak.
• 2:04
  But because your nervous system was trained to earn love through over giving, so a lot of you who are people pleasers end up in relationships with men where you are over functioning and you're trying to prove your worthiness to this guy so that he will finally commit to you or finally propose to you or fine respect.
• 2:23
  In reality, it's a trauma response because it's rooted in fear of rejection, abandonment, or a fear of being too much.
• 2:31
  Now, if you saw the recent video that I did on the common wounds that Keep your soulmate away, all three of these were mentioned on there, but there's two others, so I would recommend checking out that video as well as a supplemental resource.
• 2:43
  Uh, to this section right here.
• 2:45
  And the reality is that, you know, it's not just emotional, it's really energetic bankruptcy at the end of the day because it's the same as like you not having money, but still giving people money.
• 2:54
  Like you don't have the energy, but you're still giving them, uh, energy.
• 2:58
  And then the worst part about it is like you're over giving and over functioning only for these people to turn around and disrespect you, and then you get mad.
• 3:05
  That's essentially, uh, what happens.
• 3:07
  But if you just stop people pleasing from the beginning.
• 3:10
  Then you would start attracting more people who respect you and like you for who it is that you actually are, not who you are.
• 3:17
  Twisting yourself into a pretzel to be in the hopes that somebody will like you and respect you.
• 3:24
  So here's the hidden cost of people pleasing.
• 3:27
  If you're a people pleaser, you tend to attract people who will take from you, who will manipulate you, and who will mirror your lack of self-worth.
• 3:34
  'cause all this is, is a mirror.
• 3:35
  We've talked about that a lot in relationships recently, right?
• 3:39
  You become resentful, depleted, and on top of that, emotionally dysregulated because you're constantly twisting yourself into a pretzel for other people and you can't even hear yourself.
• 3:48
  Think your intuition gets buried under the noise of other people's needs.
• 3:54
  So basically you're so constantly catering to other people's needs that you neglect your own needs.
• 3:59
  And the reality is that.
• 4:01
  For those of you who wanna attract healthy provider men, people pleasing is actually very unattractive because it shows that you don't have any self worth for yourself.
• 4:10
  Healthy men are actually attracted to women who have healthy boundaries.
• 4:15
  Now, of course, there is a way to express these boundaries in a way that, uh, gets the job done for lack of a.
• 4:22
  Better term to put it right now.
• 4:24
  Um, and I cover those things in two places.
• 4:26
  So number one is the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program.
• 4:30
  Uh, in that program, you're gonna learn all the mistakes that women make when it comes to dating and understanding the psychology of men, people pleasing being one of them, but there are several others.
• 4:39
  So make sure to grab the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program for$27 to learn what all of those things are.
• 4:45
  And then the other place that you can go is the High Value Woman Transformation Program.
• 4:51
  Because that is gonna help you become a high value woman from the inside out.
• 4:54
  And we have modules just on, for example, healing those core wounds that lead to people pleasing in the be to begin with.
• 5:02
  How to express boundaries in a way that is kind, but also garners respect and attraction, and how to expand your social circle.
• 5:10
  So you start being around, you know, a higher.
• 5:13
  Quality of people.
• 5:14
  And again, there's no other way of saying it, so I just have to say it that way.
• 5:17
  A lot of you are not hanging out with people or putting yourself in places where the people are of high quality.
• 5:23
  Does not mean they're not children of God.
• 5:25
  They're innocent.
• 5:26
  Of, of course I know that, especially if you follow a Course in Miracles.
• 5:30
  But as one of my teachers, Michael Mead says, you need to know the truth, right?
• 5:35
  Which is, everybody deserves love, everybody is innocent, everybody is a child of God.
• 5:39
  But respect the illusion.
• 5:40
  Some people are trash, okay?
• 5:43
  Right?
• 5:43
  And that does not mean you need to be, um, around them.
• 5:47
  And many of you need to learn how to put yourself in places where there's a higher quality.
• 5:51
  Person.
• 5:52
  Okay.
• 5:53
  Again, lack of a better term.
• 5:54
  I have no other way of saying it right now.
• 5:57
  And if that's you, then the high value woman transformation is the program for you.
• 6:03
  So here's how we can start going into how to reclaim your power.
• 6:08
  So number one, you wanna pause before you respond.
• 6:11
  Most people do not go through life.
• 6:13
  Responding to stimulus around them, they go through life reacting to all the stimulus around them.
• 6:19
  So you wanna learn how to take a pause and respond.
• 6:21
  Here's a great example.
• 6:23
  Right.
• 6:23
  I'm sure everybody has had this situation where, for example, you get an email and you were already in a bad mood for whatever reason.
• 6:30
  You got up on the wrong side of the bed and you read that email and you think the email is horrendous right now.
• 6:36
  Some of you will be in a situation where you just like.
• 6:39
  Write back and you're like angry typing on the email and you hit send, and then you regret everything that you said in that email that you sent, right?
• 6:46
  That's what most people will do.
• 6:48
  Smart people will be like, you know what?
• 6:50
  I'm upset right now.
• 6:51
  I'm triggered.
• 6:52
  Let me take a moment to just breathe and I'm gonna come back to this later.
• 6:55
  Then they come back to it later.
• 6:57
  Reread the email and realize that the email wasn't even that bad to begin with.
• 7:02
  They were just projecting onto the email, and then you can respond from a healthier place.
• 7:08
  I know everybody can relate to that.
• 7:11
  Or if it's not an email, it's a text message, right?
• 7:13
  Everybody can relate to that.
• 7:15
  But that's what I mean by, uh, you know, pausing before you respond.
• 7:19
  Because sometimes when we only react, we're like making up a bunch of stuff that's not even there.
• 7:24
  The next thing is you wanna anchor into your body.
• 7:27
  So you wanna learn how to regulate your nervous system, right?
• 7:30
  You wanna learn how to feel.
• 7:31
  Safe, um, in, in terms of, uh, not people pleasing, right?
• 7:35
  Because for many of you, like I said, people pleasing is a survival mechanism.
• 7:39
  So you may not feel safe telling somebody no, because to you the rejection that you may feel in that moment is like a dagger to your heart, right?
• 7:46
  So you have to retrain your nervous system to feel safe in healthy behaviors.
• 7:52
  Now, if you wanna go deeper into nervous system regulation and how to do that, then I explained my four step process in the Hustle to Harmony Masterclass, which you can also.
• 8:01
  Fine below, because the reality is that the more anchored you are and the more regulated you are in your nervous system, the less you have to explain EV anything, and you don't have to twist yourself into a pretzel, and again, you will attract healthier people.
• 8:14
  Period.
• 8:15
  And the other thing you wanna learn how to do is you wanna learn how to rewire your self-worth.
• 8:19
  So this is something that has come up in the comment section a lot.
• 8:22
  Many of you have asked something along the lines of like, like, okay, if I struggle with self-worth, then what do I do now for you?
• 8:29
  Again, I recommend the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program.
• 8:32
  'cause I go into it there and I also go into it.
• 8:35
  In high value woman transformation.
• 8:38
  So those are the two programs that I would recommend for those of you who say you struggle with self-worth, because we go really deep into why that happens, how to start overcoming it.
• 8:46
  All those kinds of things, but in reality, you have to start learning how to rewire it, right?
• 8:51
  And you have to start learning the truth, right?
• 8:53
  And the truth is that people pleasing doesn't get you anywhere.
• 8:56
  The truth is that people pleasing attracts people who do not respect you and treat you like crap.
• 9:01
  Now, for some of you, that's what feels safe and familiar, right?
• 9:05
  So if you have someone treating you well, that's actually where you start to feel unsafe.
• 9:09
  But you have to think about the alternative.
• 9:11
  The alternative is you continue to people please, and people continue to disrespect you, even if it hurts you, and you have to think about how sick and twisted that kind of is in a way.
• 9:20
  Again, not because there's anything wrong with you, but imagine this.
• 9:23
  Right.
• 9:23
  A lot of people, and I just did a video about being addicted to chaos.
• 9:27
  A lot of people will continue doing behaviors that are, do not suit them, are not productive to them, um, that actually hurt them because the hurt is what feels familiar.
• 9:38
  So they will continue to hurt themselves over and over again.
• 9:41
  Like you have to think about how insane that is and how you would never tell a five-year-old child to go do that, but for some reason you allow yourself., To do it.
• 9:50
  So you have to think about it in that way, um, as well.
• 9:53
  And you also have to think about the reality of the situation.
• 9:56
  The reality of the situation is many of you wanna attract healthy provider men.
• 10:00
  That's how you found this YouTube channel to begin with.
• 10:02
  Well, healthy provider men, like women with boundaries, healthy provider, men like women with self-worth, healthy provider, men like women with confidence, healthy provider, men like women who are very good at receiving, they don't like women who are manipulative, which is the other truth that people policing is actually.
• 10:17
  Quite manipulative because you are twisting yourself into a pretzel.
• 10:21
  I mean, imagine how exhausting it must be to twist yourself into a pretzel all the time, to appease people, which most of the time aren't gonna respect you anyway.
• 10:30
  You have to think about it that way too.
• 10:31
  And the reason they don't respect you is because energetically something is off and because energetically something is off and there's an unhealthy behavior there, you will continue to attract unhealthy people.
• 10:42
  So it comes to a point where you gotta make a choice.
• 10:44
  And I've known a lot of people pleasers in my life.
• 10:46
  I have.
• 10:48
  I am a Libra rising, so I have struggled with it.
• 10:50
  And in addition to that, I've been coaching women for 15 years.
• 10:52
  Okay.
• 10:53
  This is something that a lot of women really struggle with, and some men actually struggle with this as well.
• 10:57
  More men than you would think, actually struggle with this, um, because everybody wants to be liked and nobody wants to be kicked outta the tribe, but you have to think about.
• 11:05
  You know your future and your life and the kinds of people that you wanna have around you.
• 11:10
  And when you start thinking from that perspective, you start being more discerning about people pleasing, right?
• 11:17
  And you start to realize, wait a minute, you know, this isn't actually serving me.
• 11:21
  More often than not, this is hurting me.
• 11:23
  And then for some of you, you need to have a conversation about like, am I addicted to chaos?
• 11:28
  Am I addicted to the emotional rollercoaster?
• 11:31
  Am I addicted to the stimulus of all of this?
• 11:33
  And many of you are gonna realize that the answer is yes.
• 11:37
  Okay?
• 11:38
  And I just did a whole other video on that as well that you can go check out.
• 11:41
  So here's a quick recap, right?
• 11:43
  People pleasing isn't compassion, right?
• 11:45
  You're not being a good person when you are people pleasing.
• 11:48
  It's actually a trauma pattern and a trauma response.
• 11:51
  And the reality is that your feminine power activates when you stop outsourcing your worth and start honoring your truth.
• 11:58
  And when you start honoring your truth, are some people going to be upset about it?
• 12:02
  Yeah.
• 12:03
  But they're still going to respect you.
• 12:05
  And when you are people pleasing, part of what happens is that nobody respects you.
• 12:11
  At least if you are honoring your truth, there might be a group of people who don't like you, but at least people are going to respect you.
• 12:17
  And I'll actually use, um.
• 12:19
  A business example to drive this point home.
• 12:21
  For many of you, business examples tend to land very well because you're very career focused and career driven.
• 12:27
  So let's say you're running a business, right?
• 12:28
  Or for those of you who know about business, or perhaps you work for a company and you're in the marketing department, what is rule number one about marketing?
• 12:36
  Rule number one about marketing is that not everybody is going to like you.
• 12:40
  Right, and that's actually a good thing when it comes to marketing.
• 12:44
  So in business, if you're trying to cater to everybody, you actually end up losing money and you're not actually able to help the amount of people that you are meant to help because you have a wishy-washy message.
• 12:57
  You're attracting the wrong people.
• 12:59
  You haven't put a line in the sand in terms of who is it that I'm talking to and who is it?
• 13:03
  That I'm trying to serve.
• 13:05
  When you put that line in the sand in business of who is it and who am I trying to serve, you're going to alienate a group of people.
• 13:10
  There's gonna be people who don't like you, but you're gonna make a hell of a lot more money from the people who do like you, and you're going to get respect.
• 13:18
  Well, it's the same thing in every single other area of your life.
• 13:21
  Not everybody's going to like you.
• 13:23
  And that is okay.
• 13:26
  Not everybody is gonna like you, but at least when you start honoring your truth, people will respect you and you will start attracting a higher caliber, healthier, um, group of people into your.
• 13:38
  Life.
• 13:39
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 13:41
  Um, it's an honor to be your teacher, especially as this is growing into something, uh, more global.
• 13:46
  It's so funny, I was having a conversation with my husband the other day because his business is growing and expanding very quickly.
• 13:53
  Um, and I was like, uh, I was like, do you need my help?
• 13:56
  Like you, like, uh, until you're able to like hire the people that you need and all that kind of stuff and you know, I can, I can put a pause on mindful success path for a while.
• 14:07
  And first of all, he was like, I would never want you to do that because you know, it's very creative for you.
• 14:11
  It's an outlet for you.
• 14:12
  It brings you joy.
• 14:13
  Um, you know, it's making money for you.
• 14:16
  Like I would never want you to, you know, give up on that, um, in any way, shape or form.
• 14:20
  And then we were having that conversation and I go check my email and I see a bunch of like emails and comments from you guys who are like, thank you so much for this.
• 14:28
  Or I wanna buy this thing, or I wanna do that, or.
• 14:31
  You know, can I work with you one-on-one?
• 14:33
  And I was like, okay, well there's the message from the universe that I gotta keep doing this.
• 14:37
  My husband's fine.
• 14:38
  He'll be able to, to find who he needs, uh, to help him.
• 14:41
  He's got it under control.
• 14:43
  So, you know, it really is an honor.
• 14:45
  And not only am I getting all these messages and comments, they're coming from all over the world, which is showing that, you know, the stuff that we're talking about on this channel, which was one of my goals, uh, is really universal in helping women.
• 14:58
  All around the world.
• 14:59
  So it really is an honor and I love waking up to these comments and emails and, uh, all these things about how helpful this content is for you guys and how a lot of things when it comes to dating and men are now starting to make sense.
• 15:11
  Speaking of which, uh, once again, the programs that I recommend are Feminine Magnetism Mastery, which you can grab for$27, especially for those of you who are trying to make sense of men.
• 15:21
  You would definitely wanna start there.
• 15:24
  And then the other one is the high value woman transformation.
• 15:26
  That's actually where we go a lot deeper into boundaries.
• 15:30
  Um, and, and healing some of these core wounds that lead to behaviors like people pleasing.
• 15:35
  So make sure to subscribe and hit the notification box.
• 15:38
  You don't miss a single video.
• 15:39
  Give it a, like, share it with a girlfriend so we can keep expanding this global community and helping women heal their relationship with themselves and therefore get into healthier relationships worldwide.
• 15:50
  Make sure to check out all the resources in the description and in the first comment, and I will catch you on the next one.