Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 105 RE-RELEASE: The Art of Redefining 'Good' with Megan Fate Marshman

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Episode 105 RE-RELEASE: The Art of Redefining 'Good' with Megan Fate Marshman · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Ganoff and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey guys, welcome to the podcast.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: And remember the days when I used to release the show every Wednesday.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I graduated two kids and went on a long vacation and then summer head and have another, another version of my book edits do.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now it's all willingly nearly over here, everyone.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, here we are.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing our best, right?
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Happy summer.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: I hope everybody's doing well.
• 0:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I cannot believe we are getting close to July.
• 0:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: My mind is blown.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking about what I wanted to chat with you about.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's start with the fact that haven't showered in three days.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not lying three days.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a real sad situation.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's really sad because I just podcasted someone that I know, but I don't know.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel bad for her because
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a real sight over here, right?
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I was thinking about, I got to speak at my church a couple of days ago.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I showered that day.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't even worry, guys.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was part of a panel discussion.
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they asked the best questions.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there was about four hundred fifty women that came which I love.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, every age, age, every everything from our church.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it was really cool just to see this huge
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: room of women come together to connect and just to kind of learn from each other.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: But one of the questions they asked is one that I thought was so interesting and worth considering in our own lives.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I wanted to throw it out there for you.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm going to tell you how I answered it.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But then I'm going to say like, answer this in your own life.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so the moderator of our panel said, what does faithfulness to Jesus look like in your current season of life?
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: What is faithfulness to Jesus look like in your current season of life?
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought, wow, isn't that something worth considering?
• 1:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I spent a little time thinking out that and praying about it.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what came to mind was something that Anne Graham Lott said to me, well, I say said to me, it's kind of like when you have those internet friends and you're like, they're your real friends.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like they're talking to me about things now.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: She said to a group that I was sitting in, she said that at any given time, if you're trying to figure out what's most important, what's my calling, where it's got to have me, she said, just be faithful in your highest place of influence.
• 2:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that is at any given time.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I look back in my own life and for many, many, many years, my highest place of influence was in my home.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it really probably still is.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: for sure.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: But with little kids in at home, that was my highest place of influence.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I need to be faithful there.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there were times where my highest place of influence was probably at work with a lot of non-believers around me.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think there's times in my highest place of influence has been
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: speaking or I'm in a season of writing a book and maybe that's my highest place of influence at the moment or the podcasts that I do.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I think there's a lot of different things.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: And for all of us, it can be in the board room.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can be on the PTA board.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can be just in your neighborhood in the way that you're interacting with people.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I thought a lot about that and in this season of life, what is faithfulness look like?
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I would encourage you to think about that and pray about that and what is your highest place of influence and how can you be most faithful there?
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And as a girl who hasn't showered and is out of control, I really have tried to take some time this week.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was complaining to a friend about how there's just doesn't seem to be a second where I don't have some commitment on me right now.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's an indictment on me, not anyone else.
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I need to step back and why is that?
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why is it that it's so crazy and out of control on and on and on?
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I want to be faithful in my highest place of influence and I want to serve the Lord well where he has me and I want that for you guys too.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so as you're thinking about that, consider where you need to be faithful.
• 3:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's your highest place of influence and what does that faithfulness look like?
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And for me right now, it's been a book season.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: You'll know that.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that means sitting down every day when that's really hard for me to sit down and write because I'm extroverted and I'd like to do a thousand other things, but to sit down and be quiet and allow the Lord to speak words over me to spend time in God's Word.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: and allow him to give me new insights.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what it's look like.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I haven't enjoyed the season of quiet.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's been a year of writing a book and it's required me to say no to so much in order to say yes to being faithful in that season.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just wondering for you something to think about this summer and going into the fall, what do we need to say no to in order to say yes to the things the Lord has for us so that we can be faithful in that place where He's called us to.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's a thought for you today.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: I am re-releasing Megan Fay Marshman.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just totally messed up saying her name.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Megan Fay Marshman.
• 4:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you haven't seen her on Instagram or other places, she's incredible.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, she is a powerhouse speaker, godly woman pastor.
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she lost her husband suddenly and is raising her two sons and wow, does she talk well?
• 4:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: about the hard.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: The, um, where's God's goodness?
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when I spoke the other night, they allowed a few people in the audience to ask questions.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the questions was, why doesn't God do it if he can?
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why does he allow us to suffer?
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we have so much hard in our life?
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And who can answer that question, right?
• 5:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: But Megan Fayt, Marshman, does a really great job as someone who's walked through hard of speaking into that.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this is worth a rerelease.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you've heard it before, it's worth hearing again.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I think she came out last fall.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's when we releases, um,
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: the fall of twenty twenty four, but I'm excited for you to hear this again, and we've got a lot of new people with us.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, thanks for listening to podcast, you guys, and here we go with Megan.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Marshall.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Megan, welcome to mesmerize, and it's a small miracle that you and I are both here.
• 5:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Isn't it fun scheduling?
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh.
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And yesterday, I think you had a little snappy or something came up.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then today, we've been sitting here, but you've been on Google made and I've been on Riverside and we're like, huh, this is weird.
• 5:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And twenty minutes later, we figured out we're on different platforms.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: So sorry.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, you know what makes me laugh is I remember one time sitting with a friend and we each had our phones out in our calendars open.
• 6:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: trying to find a time in the future that we could meet.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then there was a moment, five minutes in that one of us said, wait, looks like we're both free right now.
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: That reminds me of how funny, but I do appreciate people taking the time to plan, but there's every once in a while when it's just, I'm going to call you and we're going to be present right now when I need you.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: So here we are.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Interesting.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: God's timing.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here we are, oh my gosh, well, I'm thrilled that you're here and I've got to tell you something in all like candor.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know who you were until recently and somebody sent me like a real or something you did and they were like, you need to talk to her.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then then of course, I start digging.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh, how do I not know how we not friends?
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: How do I not know you?
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I'm just telling everyone right now like, wow, you've got, yeah, I mean, wow.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: You just have an ordained voice right now.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just so thankful that I ran across you and thankful that you're doing this.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I also was dying laughing because you're so funny.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's hard to find people special out of podcasts.
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: It feels like as we don't know each other.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: But they're just outright funny.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh my gosh, I was cracking up at you.
• 7:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I want you to know, like, funny is my love language.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So we're just going to start shallow.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I just need to know something.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to start, we're going to couple shallow questions.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Great.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're in California, correct?
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am.
• 7:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, what are California stereotypes we can laugh at and I'm I'm going to tell you a Texas one first because I live in Dallas and everyone's always like man if I ever kind of Dallas I hope I see a cowboy.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like listen.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Y'all there's not like we don't have horses going down the street
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: We really don't.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a, it's metropolitan, if you will.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like, yes, I mean, people wear boots and jeans and some once a while, yes, you'll see some hats, but like it's not actually the wild wild west.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that was thinking like, okay, you're in California, what are the stereotypes?
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: What if I come see you, I'm going to say, oh, I hope I get to see.
• 7:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, I don't know about what they hope they get to see other than the beach.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, the beach would be on obvious one, but you know what's funny, and I would say is a stereotype that is actually just true is that we do use the word the in front of our freeways.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm going to take Zephyr, five, two, Zephyr, two, then ninety one.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: to the one-of-five in order to get over from where I live to LAX.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Friends, I get to take like three to six different freeways to get there and both, both going on six or going on three would equally be efficient because we are wild when it comes to freeways.
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, y'all love your phrase and you really love to speak about the traffic, too, right?
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: We talk a lot about the traffic.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: We like complaining in California about basically anything that we can complain about.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's something that I just laugh about now.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when it starts to rain, we are taking the videos of ourselves outside with the torrential downpour as people are like welcome to rain.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's fabulous.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's fabulous.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 8:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Second thing.
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I need to have a conversation with you about something that's causing me a little jealousy issue between the two of us.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love them.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look at you right now.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you actually did it today.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: You perfected the messy bun.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, and it's fabulous.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I saw it on Reels and everywhere else.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then today you've got that cute thing.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And listen, I don't know what's going on over here.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: I can't put my hair in a bun.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nor can I wear a hat.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Can you wear a hat?
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I can't wear a hat.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I look quite wear a lot of hats.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wear a lot of hats metaphorically and physically.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's a good one.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look at that transitions, Cynthia.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Look, that translated.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: That really went somewhere.
• 9:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And of course, I'm too shallow to really run with it.
• 9:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm still in my childhood.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And here's my last thing I have to ask you.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you guys listen, this is another reason you're going to follow Megan because she has perfected the messy banner, hair looks fab all the time.
• 9:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then here's the third one.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: You've got, tell us where you're on life, like tell us what your kids age, because I'm asking a parent in question.
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yep, I got an eight year old and a five year old and I'm laughing that I'm on a parenting podcast, but I would say the only thing I have to contribute is a humility to realize that I don't have to arrive in parenting and I can just keep growing.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's what I'm uniquely going to hopefully contribute to this conversation is if you think you don't get it.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's okay.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And in fact, admitting it might mean you get it a little bit more.
• 10:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then you realize, but again, everything in me wants to jump down deep, but I realize we're in the shallow section.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we'll just hang out.
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're here today.
• 10:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's okay.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but what's something nobody told you about parenting and I'll give you mine first because I'm putting in a pressure, but I always say like nobody told me some of the things that would come out on my mouth.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I told my my youngest the other day like you have to wear underwear when you ride your bike.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like nobody told me we're gonna have to say those things.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I thought that's something that people knew, that the people knew, but apparently the people don't know that without explanation.
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm finding especially with my youngest.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going through on the way to the birthday party or whatever.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, hey, by the way, you know, we don't do this or we don't do that.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you can't give enough instruction to prep for what they're gonna think of to do there, right?
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, those are my things.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: No one warned me about that.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: What about you?
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Anything that no one told you about in parenting?
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm going to go to day one of parenting for me and something I realized day one.
• 11:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: So my, my oldest son was taken to the NICU.
• 11:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: He was fine.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Clearly he's eight.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: But we didn't get to have him for the first in the room.
• 11:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: We didn't get to have him for the first forty eight hours.
• 11:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: And this kind of dream scenario that I expected, which is man metaphors the entire role in journey of parenting.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: the dreams scenario, the dream pictures, the pictures come on.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sharing a room with a gal who unfortunately is complaining about her baby crying.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm in the room.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: My baby's not in the room.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: In a room with a gal who can't stop complaining that she's not getting enough sleep.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I at one point looked to my husband and said, this is really a hard moment.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm really struggling here because she's complaining about that.
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I
• 11:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: My baby's not in the room.
• 12:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm having to go there every two and a half hours to walk down the hallway.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm in pain.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: This isn't pain.
• 12:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's emotionally pain.
• 12:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: We don't have a future yet yet.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And my husband beautifully asked, what do you say?
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, oh, no, what?
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Did we get the car seat in the car?
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, yes.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: But to be the car seat in that like other little thing.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, yes, he's like, did we finish the baby room?
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like,
• 12:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, did we assemble the crib?
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, months ago.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, did we pack the cute little outfit that will take him home?
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, yes, if we could take him home and I'm having, you know, I'm finding everything wrong.
• 12:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he keeps asking me to really obvious questions.
• 12:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm kind of getting worked up.
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then he goes, I guess we're prepared in every way except one.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said, what?
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think we've got this.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: They said, the only way we maybe haven't thought to prepare.
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: is that we would really need the Lord in this journey.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's, and I'm still there.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm sure we'll get to this, but I'll start off strong because it's still shocking to me.
• 13:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now I'm single parenting, an eight-year-old in the five-year-old, with a husband who three years ago went to heaven in the middle of the night, heart attacks a price to all of us.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I need him more than effort.
• 13:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't know that.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think I thought he would just equip me to do it without him.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then I would be doing it because he equipped me.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not that I would need him on day one as much as I would need him the past three years.
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: No one told me that.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think I thought that he would just equip us for the good things that he has prepared in advance for us to do.
• 13:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for Ephesians, too, ten.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: What a warning house.
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and I'm glad, yeah, I'm glad you said that about losing her husband.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was thinking about this as we were talking.
• 13:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just went to funeral of Fran, who lost her fourteen-year-old son, a battle with cancer.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she put something on the internet.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And she's been really honest all along.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's funny.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: We all had right little notes at the service that we put in a basket.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: They could read later.
• 14:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And one of the things I put is that everyone always says,
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: All I need is Jesus, but I've watched them actually live that.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: All they need is Jesus, and I don't know how they've done it, but they've walked this beautifully, but she said something that was so raw and it was the day after the service and she put on Facebook, she said, what now?
• 14:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the question.
• 14:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to come to you with, and I listen to you speak of that, that convocation, and I've listened to different places, because I've just been, I've kind of been stalking in the best of ways.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I thought, this is the question, what now?
• 14:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: When the diagnosis comes with your kid, when the marriage is impossible, when the finances are failing, and your husband passes away in the middle of the night and unexpectedly, and you're seeing a mom with two littles, like,
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: What now and our faith?
• 15:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's next?
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would see the through line.
• 15:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm probably greatest piece of advice.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Simon advice.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: We don't need more advice.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'd say my greatest source of strength has been an understanding of prayer that I never knew before.
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it was it came from a quote from one of my professors.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was actually going back to school and this all happened and I'm still finishing up.
• 15:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: My doctorate right now.
• 15:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's what it is.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Dr. John Cole wrote in his book, prayers not a place to be good.
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a place to be honest.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: We can talk all we want about doing it with the Lord and that sounds well and good.
• 15:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do we do that?
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is relationally with the Lord, but we have to take the time it literally takes.
• 15:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: to do it with him to walk with him to set aside time in the morning.
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I have, and I'm so forgetful just like every single listener, that I'll give you some of the ways that I set myself up for success because I know I won't forget my coffee in the morning, but I might forget to pray, right?
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm just said, well, if I'm not gonna forget the coffee, then I'm gonna use the coffee as a trigger to remind myself to pray.
• 16:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then when you get to that per place,
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: to genuinely not do life by yourself.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Here's my, if you're wondering, like, how do you be honest?
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you even know where you're at?
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, especially as moms, like, how often do we even stop to consider where am I?
• 16:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because our kids are gonna ask us, we're asking them when they're not asking us.
• 16:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's one thing I do every morning.
• 16:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I have a four part prayer that I do every time I press my coffee button and it's a trigger because again, I'm not gonna forget the coffee.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And one of my things that I do.
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do you ever have those moments, Cynthia, maybe you are one that has an acronym for how you pray.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Some people do.
• 16:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Some people just get into it.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's the performance prayer.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Dear Lord of so thankful.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know they can't do them in the glory.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it sounds really well and good.
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then your mind begins to wander for sure.
• 17:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it takes you like nine music and to realize it, right?
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And when you do, finally,
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: You pause the prayer, shave yourself back to the performance prayer that you're kind of convinced you's proud of and you're like, oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not sure what happened there.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm that you have a lesson and then you keep on with that performance thing.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's what I've been surprised and I do this intentionally and thoughtfully every single morning.
• 17:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: A wandering mind in prayer is a gift because where's our mind wandering to?
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I wonder if it aligns with Jesus's words when He says, where your treasure is there, your heart will be.
• 17:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And what do you think, God's after and your prayer?
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: You are heart in the same way.
• 17:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: He was after your heart for salvation.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's after your heart this morning.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's so wild to me that I spent so many years trusting the Lord Jesus for eternal salvation, yet the relational drama or the kid that has deep, big feelings.
• 17:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like that was for me to figure out on my own.
• 17:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then I prayed about other things.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not what was really on my heart.
• 18:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: So a wandering mind is one of the greatest gifts because our mind will wander to the very thing that has our heart.
• 18:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's my encouragement.
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't pause the prayer.
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I sit in front of my coffee maker and I just let the mind go and then I do that with him.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: because that's what he actually wants to talk to me about.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, man, what next, share, if you don't know what is next, tell them.
• 18:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're scared about what's next, tell them.
• 18:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you hear that question and you're like, yes, I feel so, tell them now.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's next is whatever is on the heart, but spoken to a God who already knows.
• 18:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: and wants to actually literally guide you, might mind jumps to probably three, five and six, which we've all heard right dressed in Lord of all your art.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, honest prayer.
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Lean on your own understanding, which means when it comes to the what's next question, you don't actually have to figure it all out.
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Friends, I hope you catch yourself, saying that phrase this week.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just have to figure out, catch it, because lean on your own understanding, but rather in all your ways, acknowledge him.
• 19:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's the landing point, what's next, he will direct your path.
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: prayer has to be the way to get there as we begin by trusting him with an honest prayer, a wandering mind with all our heart.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: He will direct your paths and prayers the key.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's good.
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: You said something that caught me.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You said you were quoting Matt Chandler and his funny.
• 19:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I just talked about Chandler on this podcast a couple days ago.
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if it's released or not when this one comes out.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: But you said something about Chandler says that comfort.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: is the God of this generation, of our generation.
• 19:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you were talking out, is God good.
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think, I mean, obviously, we're going, we're really deep over here, people, okay?
• 19:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, and I don't mean to be lofty or ask a satiric questions or whatever, but you know, I just, people listen to podcasts now, I just released a book a couple of months ago.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Life is messy, God is good.
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when I was interviewed, I've been interviewed as you know a thousand times in a really sub-book, but somebody, a someone asked me, and one of the interviews said,
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: So they do you really do you really think God's good like if you ever questioned it and and I stopped and I pause I thought about that because nobody did ask me that and and I'm thankful that I've been brought up in a Christian home and I've just known God I feel like most of my life and I said you know honestly I've never I don't question as goodness I question as timing and I question as methodology sometimes those are the things that I struggle with and so as you were saying this you were saying quoting Matt Chandler and and challenging us
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: to think about like, what is the definition of God's goodness?
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Who gets decide if he's good or not?
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, how do we, how do we look at that?
• 20:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you talk about Romans eight, twenty eight.
• 20:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'd love for you just to kind of chat with us about that a little bit too.
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe a little recalibration on that.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I remember hearing that line from Chandler and just a random sermon that he had given come for us that out of our generation.
• 20:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, it does remind me of Romans eight, twenty eight, a very famous passage.
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think one of my favorite things is uncovering the why if passage got famous in the first place.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, our hearts to the things were convinced we already know.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you probably already know this one listener, if you've done Bible story, I quoted it to someone and yeah, maybe maybe even have a sweatshirt or coffee mug with these words.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we know that in all things, God works for the good, right?
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we know in all things, I'll work for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: So
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Here's the definition you're referencing.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: But before we get there, I'd love for it to take people on a journey instead of just tell them about mine.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So listener, consider this.
• 21:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Here's something you can know.
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: So although you can't know all things, you can't know the plans perfectly what God has.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't know all that stuff.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can't know the future.
• 21:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: But here's what you can know that in all things, God works for the good.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I want everyone to consider their thing right now.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I want people to get specific because I'm going to start off with, I'll go with my grief path.
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm in grief.
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's my thing, parenting and grief.
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's yours?
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wonder each person listening in and just by way of example, maybe it's, you know, I've been hearing a lot from gals.
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is it they believe that they're socially awkward?
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just friendships are not not filling that connection or yeah.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, socially awkward.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: That might be a thing.
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's it different?
• 22:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want people to get specific.
• 22:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I want to even create a little space right here.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not to move on so that God's Word doesn't just meet you in your mind and meet you where you're at.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: So where are you at?
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's your thing?
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because you can know that in all things, does everyone have everything yet?
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I hope so.
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because we can know that every single thing that's being thought of right now, you can know that God works for the good.
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: of those who love and they wouldn't call the courting to his purpose.
• 22:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's where we come back to the math channel, their quote of the comfort is a God of our generation, because when we defined good naturally, when I look at you saying, how was your day?
• 22:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you say, it was good.
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: What do you mean?
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Likely, culturally, good means successful, productive, comfortable, restful.
• 23:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't get angry.
• 23:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: You were the best version of yourself.
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: You made it different.
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we have all these different definitions of what good means.
• 23:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: And thankfully, and by the way, I'll just say this, if the definition of good is comfort, which is a God of our generation, we want to be comfortable, right?
• 23:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: If that's the definition of good, then it's going to be really hard for us to read this scripture with that definition, because you'll consider, let's just do me grief.
• 23:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we know that in grief, God works to make my life more comfortable.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: That sentence makes no sense.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And same thing if you were to bring your anxiety to the table.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: It makes no sense that that's meant to make you life more comfortable or the betrayal from your spouse or the wayward kid.
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are you kidding me?
• 23:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now thankfully Paul keeps writing because the next verse he says for those got four new.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's you.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're a follower of Jesus.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: He knew it before the creation of the world.
• 23:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: For those four got four notes of you and your thing.
• 24:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: He also predestined.
• 24:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't get tricked up.
• 24:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Just means predestined.
• 24:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not doing this here.
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: To be conformed to the image of his son.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: God's definition of good is to form you into the image of his son to look more like Jesus, the fancy theological term, spiritual formation being formed by the spirit more into Christ's likeness.
• 24:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the way God does it is using your thing.
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's true.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, let's look at a challenging one, but trail.
• 24:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not only does Jesus understand the spirit who lives and dwells within has been praying and interseeding on your behalf that God would somehow.
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: And this is going to take an act of the Lord, but I want to say if that's you and right now you're like well-liked up, if you motion or like a protected nature as you're listening.
• 24:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just want to tell you that in his back to you to be a perfect timing.
• 25:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: who can and wants to use that thing.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: That thing for good to form you more into the likeness of Jesus.
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's an attribute of God that I'd say, you can't will yourself to become, and it's this, an enemy lover, a forgiveer.
• 25:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: These things we know about Jesus and we like them for us.
• 25:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: But we don't necessarily want them through us to other people, but that's the good that he can and does and wants to do in-news to form you more into like this of Jesus.
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: And before you feel like right now the pressure is all on you to become this, I've really good news.
• 25:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: That we're predestined that unfortunately trips up far too many denominations or this context, he's not referencing to the predestination debate whether and have predestination is of it, self-ethic, but it's this.
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: if the Spirit of God dwells within you.
• 25:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: He has predestined.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: He has made it possible and will complete.
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: you becoming more like Christ throughout your life.
• 25:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Literally, he's leading the dance.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that means your spiritual formation.
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can participate in it and it can become smoother.
• 26:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or you can neglect it by the spirit.
• 26:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's going to make a way and use all the things for good in his timing and his purposes.
• 26:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: But again, joining in, we can find him.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the good news is, man, listener, if you're seeking to find all the difficult things in your life, you will find them.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you seek to find God, Jeremiah twenty nine thirteen is a promise for you.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you seek to find God, he says this.
• 26:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, this is after the Jeremiah twenty nine eleven.
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right now, the plans are pretty clear.
• 26:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's our plans for us.
• 26:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going to talk with them.
• 26:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: See the open future.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Verse twelve, the new call upon me.
• 26:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come and pray to me.
• 26:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to listen to you.
• 26:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, here's the promise for thirteen.
• 26:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
• 26:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you in your thing are willing to seek him, you will find him.
• 26:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: and the weird parties, you'll find him in yourself as you become more like him through that thing.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I mean, that just hit me so hard a second time I've heard it, but the first time I was like, because it is, I think we almost disservice ourselves and our faith when we take these portions of scripture and we're like, okay, you know, he's going to use this for good.
• 27:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, but what is what is good and if good is if we're going to equate good to comfort, then yeah, we're always going to be disappointed and just digging that a little deeper
• 27:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think that's a game changer and I think that helps us when we're like at that what now question and the hard and and so I'm happy before please go I got to do something really unique last night I was speaking at the to the high schoolers at my own church and that they want to talk they want to cover emotions this summer and so I grabbed anger and as we're just talking I was thinking like I don't want people to hear that we're just going to bypass what should make us angry
• 27:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's not what we're doing.
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I just want to create a quick pause to go like there's some things that like when I jump bring up betrayal that you're making me angry because it makes God angry.
• 27:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but God detaches the sin from the sinner and he hates what is destroying us without hating us.
• 28:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 28:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I just thought about what a different pastor on my staff did.
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it was so beautiful.
• 28:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And again, back to the beginning of our conversation in honest prayer.
• 28:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I taught on anger and then at the very end, she got up.
• 28:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was so beautiful and she was so, so, Megan talked about Psalm one, thirty-nine of very famous women's passage that's actually, which we can get into, we're not an imprecatorism in a Psalm of anger, the fearfully wonderfully made scripture.
• 28:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: God's omniscience.
• 28:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's actually an imprecatorism.
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Shocker.
• 28:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I land there.
• 28:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And basically we get to the very end and it's like how, how has God going to form us and it was like, and it's through our anger and we wooed students to pray their anger.
• 28:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: But here we do so risky.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: We invited them to walk up to someone they trust and ask if they would be beside them in image God image, but in image God by listening to us.
• 28:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: prayer anger.
• 28:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was so profound and here's what I want to say.
• 29:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: If your thing is bringing about a lot of anger, don't bypass the anger.
• 29:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's to use the anger to
• 29:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: He wants to use the disappointment too.
• 29:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: He wants to use the sadness too.
• 29:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not just the thing that happened.
• 29:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's also your emotional response to it.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's why we have the sounds.
• 29:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, back to you.
• 29:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 29:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's so good.
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And here's the thing is I like to be on the other side of it, like especially someone who writes books and all those like, I like the story when I'm on the other side of it and I'm able to say, okay, now I get it kind of.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I love that you're speaking to like, I mean, in the,
• 29:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: God's getting glory and can have glory in the midst of it.
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: And in the anger, in the knowing, it's funny as I made a big switch in the platform that I've been on in some other things.
• 29:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: People have asked me, how's it going?
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever.
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you know, I'd love to be on the other side and say, now I know why God called me here.
• 29:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now I know why I was supposed to leave this now.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
• 29:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: All I know is one step in front of the other at this point.
• 29:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's, that's okay.
• 29:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, yeah, thank you for that word to be able to stop and we can be angry.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: We can have the emotions, all of that.
• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk.
• 30:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is my hard turn.
• 30:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about relaxed your book.
• 30:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us what's going on there.
• 30:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't even ask this at the beginning and I'll put it in the intro.
• 30:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: But as you're telling to the book, can you just tell everybody what you're doing life though?
• 30:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you do have multiple hats.
• 30:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I mean, you write, you speak, you preach.
• 30:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: But when you tell everybody where you are and then talk to us about your new project.
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
• 30:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am a mom of two.
• 30:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's fun.
• 30:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna do this in a really unique way, Cynthia.
• 30:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
• 30:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I packed my prayer in the morning.
• 30:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: In addition to letting my mind wander another thing I do as I imagine an onion.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And the onion is me.
• 30:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I'll go through some of these by means of what a typical prayer would look like me in the morning because although these things are true about me, they're not the trueest thing.
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it also is what God's entrusted to my care.
• 30:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I will start by matching an onion and I'll say the phrase,
• 30:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily, and then I go through some of the roles and responsibilities.
• 30:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm not primarily although I am a widow.
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily a mom of two little boys.
• 31:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily a teaching pastor.
• 31:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily an author of Bible studies and books.
• 31:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Although I do, it's not who I am primarily.
• 31:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am not primarily outgoing.
• 31:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily extroverted.
• 31:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not primarily someone that gets to work on campus where my kids go to school, which is the ultimate gift because I get to run women's Bible studies isn't my kids walk by going to recess.
• 31:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I love that love.
• 31:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not primarily all these things.
• 31:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And this is where I land every single morning.
• 31:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So Cynthia, to know who I am is to know that this is what I want primarily me to be is this.
• 31:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am in Christ and He is in me.
• 31:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: So all of the identity markers that Ephesians goes off on and chapters one through three beloved shows and accepted.
• 31:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: I believe that to be the core of who I am.
• 31:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then here's what's fun out of that firm foundation that's not dependent upon people liking me.
• 32:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I then begin to put the layers back on.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: as a secure, loved, chosen, belonging, child of God.
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am also called to be a mom.
• 32:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm also called to be a student.
• 32:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm getting, like I said, I'm getting my doctor in spiritual formation because I truly want to be good at this.
• 32:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: And with a husband and heaven and half of me there, I have a different perspective on this life to care a whole lot about things that really matter.
• 32:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's a freedom and superpower of grief.
• 32:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: and people who are listening and that know it, don't forget the superpower.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: We care a whole lot less about things that matter that don't matter at all.
• 32:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's so freeing.
• 32:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I love that for other people.
• 32:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wonder if that's why it falls like, sit your mind on things above, things above, or then that hymn says, turn your eyes upon Jesus.
• 32:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Those are the things of this world to go strangely dims, not that they don't matter.
• 32:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: They're just dimmerly dim in the light of his glory grace.
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: So that's a little bit of what I do with my time.
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: to invest it, wanting to make the most.
• 33:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: What tells font relaxed?
• 33:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, good.
• 33:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Relaxed is, I put this in the, um, is it dedication?
• 33:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I dedicated this one to Randy, which is my husband and I wrote this, um, when I spoke at his celebration of life, I got to flip against one, twenty one that says, for to me to live this Christ and to die his game, this book is everything I've learned since he stepped into the game.
• 33:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: What it means that Christ is our life and the title itself came because Dallas Willard was asked in a conversation with a guy named Bill to define or to describe Jesus in one word.
• 33:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: And Dallas Willard, who I looked up to as a spiritual formation guru, said, relaxed, describing Jesus.
• 33:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now, it doesn't mean he didn't get angry.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't mean he didn't get angry.
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: The way to the world in his shoulders, but isn't it interesting that the people we know that trust him,
• 34:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: even through the hell they've been through on this earth that they trust him.
• 34:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's interesting.
• 34:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: They are more relaxed.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I went on a big journey of wanting to discover how in the world could that be possible for us too.
• 34:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: and took a long journey, did a different journey of things.
• 34:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've looked at, yes, life, but I looked at all the things in my life to go.
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: How can I be more relaxed in topics of finance, in grief, in friendships?
• 34:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Something we do not talk about and we assume that we just missed the bone and everyone else figured it out.
• 34:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: So talking about all those topics, but after the foundation of the, it's funny I just got to do my audible.
• 34:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or the audiobook recording, and I cried many times.
• 34:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, this is one of the most raw books.
• 34:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Got honest and authentic, because I knew that was what was be required for people listening to it.
• 34:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: But those first few chapters set a foundation of something that changed my life.
• 34:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Year one in school, having literally big face formats after Randy went to heaven started to understand something about how to really become more relaxed.
• 35:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: The goal is not of the book to try to be more relaxed and go get a massage.
• 35:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: The goal is the byproduct of intimacy and personal relationship with God himself.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it means you sometimes have to get honest about the fact of, I actually just, I don't know how to spend time with the Lord.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what to do when it's in me and him.
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I try, I get motivated on the Sunday morning.
• 35:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why is it I don't do what I want to do?
• 35:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then why do I do what I don't want to do?
• 35:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: We tackle a lot of that stuff.
• 35:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Where some of this even though logically came from?
• 35:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: why we naturally want to trust in ourselves and feel the way to the world, on our shoulders, in parenting, why do we feel like they're more burdens than joy?
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that tackle everything in the book.
• 35:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so good.
• 35:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and I love it's relax walking with the one who is not worried about a thing.
• 35:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I'm just reading the little summary on here.
• 35:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: We often try to do a lot for God without him.
• 35:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like if that is a truth, relaxes a call to let go of spiritual performance, reject our cultural tendency to live under pressure and find freedom to walk with God.
• 36:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it goes on from there.
• 36:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's available in all the usual places.
• 36:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're begging.
• 36:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm so glad to finally meet you and do this and would love to chat with you.
• 36:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Support you in any way before we go.
• 36:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Tell us how we can be praying for you.
• 36:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, how to be praying for me.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, man.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Um, I think that I would be more aware of what God's doing in the world instead of burdened by what I should be doing.
• 36:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I find that the times I'm not relaxed is when I'm trying to figure out what I should be doing and where I should miss by time how my calendar, how I can
• 36:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: be all the things for all the people.
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I think when I get that switch, which it's an act of God that my mind goes from.
• 36:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, even what is it?
• 36:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's a romantic that talks about like, it's by the spirit we even cry out on the Father, which means like, it's actually work of God every time you think to pray.
• 36:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I would say, man, if you can pray for me on anything that I would think to pray more often, that I would think to walk with him by his spirit, that I would think less about what I should be doing and more about what he's doing so we can join him.
• 37:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, the coffee pot has made meaning for all of us.
• 37:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, you're so sure.
• 37:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I should know this because I follow you, but it's Megan.
• 37:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Is it in or Megan?
• 37:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Marshmallow Megan thing?
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would say so, she's.
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Megan, she's in the G and F-T.
• 37:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: My name is Feet.
• 37:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 37:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, we will put that and book all the things and our podcast notes.
• 37:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for being here, friend.
• 37:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for being able to join.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, thank you for listening and I just want to encourage you again.
• 37:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Spend some time this week, praying about it, thinking about faithfulness to the Lord and your current season.
• 37:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does that need to look like?
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And also, will you take a minute and will you leave a review for this podcast?
• 37:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help other people find this.
• 37:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'd really, really love it if you'd share it with some friends, but at a minimum, will you leave a review?
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: That would be amazing.
• 37:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: All right, you guys.
• 37:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.
• 37:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're the very best.