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What Is Something You Wish You Knew About Marriage? · The Breakfast Club

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  Speaker 1: Morning.
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  Speaker 2: Everybody's DJ Envy Charlamagne a God. We are the Breakfast Club.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: We got our guest co host Giah here.
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  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, hello, beautiful people.
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  Speaker 2: Now we have a national best selling book that's on
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  Speaker 2: out today on paperback, Real Life, Real Love.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: So if you get a chance to.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Go out there and get it, you can order it
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: on Amazon, Bonds and Nobles, or wherever you purchase your books.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: And she's here today and we're opening up the phone
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  Speaker 2: lines eight hundred and five A five one oh five
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  Speaker 2: to one. Before I got married, I wish somebody told
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  Speaker 2: me this. That is the question. So let's start with you. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: before you got married, I wish somebody told you what.
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  Speaker 3: That it wasn't a cakewalk, That it wasn't as easy
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  Speaker 3: as television and fairy tales make it out to be.
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  Speaker 3: That it takes diligence and day to day hard work
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  Speaker 3: and dedication.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not that easy.
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  Speaker 3: There are times that you are. But the overarching idea
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  Speaker 3: of marriage isn't easy because there's so many different layers
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  Speaker 3: to it. There's love, there's family, there's the business aspect
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  Speaker 3: of it. There's so many things to peel back, and
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  Speaker 3: each one of those layers have sub layers. So those
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  Speaker 3: are things that you have to consider before you decide
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  Speaker 3: to say I do, before you walk down the aisle.
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  Speaker 3: Because most people when they envision marriage, they think more
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  Speaker 3: about the wedding, you know, they think of the spectacle
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  Speaker 3: of it, and the beautiful dress, the bachelorette party, and
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  Speaker 3: that's all so exciting. But when those days are over,
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  Speaker 3: you're back from your honeymoon, you have to dig your
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  Speaker 3: heels in. Then you start running into problems and you
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  Speaker 3: have to know how to navigate those problems. And if
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  Speaker 3: you didn't learn from your parents as an example, where
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  Speaker 3: do you learn from? And just like I said earlier,
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  Speaker 3: people turn to the wrong people for advice, people that
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  Speaker 3: aren't qualified to give them advice. And a lot of
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  Speaker 3: times the actions that people take to deal with those
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  Speaker 3: problems aren't rooted in reality. It's not rooted in in actuality,
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  Speaker 3: it's not rooted in trust. So they don't know.
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  Speaker 4: What to do. So what do they do?
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  Speaker 3: They act out of emotion. And when you act out
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  Speaker 3: of emotion, nine times out of ten it's a bad
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  Speaker 3: reaction and it's going to garner a bad result. So
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  Speaker 3: I think that people have to make it very very
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  Speaker 3: be very proactive about learning about marriage before they decide
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  Speaker 3: to say I do Wow.
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  Speaker 2: I just want to put that out there, that real life,
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  Speaker 2: real love paperboo, because right now, when we discuss all
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  Speaker 2: that good plug this set way, now, what about you
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  Speaker 2: shot the.
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  Speaker 4: Mike, I wish people told me nothing, you know what
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  Speaker 4: I mean, because it's because it's on the job training, like,
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  Speaker 4: and everyone's experience is different. You know, what works for
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  Speaker 4: you may not work for me, And there's no one
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  Speaker 4: set way to do this marriage thing. Like marriage is
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  Speaker 4: not one size fits all. Marriage is a tailor made,
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  Speaker 4: custom outfit that is exclusive to you and your significant others.
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  Speaker 4: So you can tell me your experiences, but don't tell
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  Speaker 4: me how my marriage is going to be, because you
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  Speaker 4: really don't know because you're not me and you're not
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  Speaker 4: my significant other.
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  Speaker 3: I don't think that's an I don't think that's inherently true,
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  Speaker 3: because there are things that are right.
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  Speaker 4: And wrong, Oh absolutely, you know.
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  Speaker 3: And it's so interesting to me that a lot of
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  Speaker 3: times married people engage in the wrong behavior knowing damn
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  Speaker 3: well that it's wrong. And I do think that there
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  Speaker 3: are things that they're not educated to know before they
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  Speaker 3: get married. So I do think that you know, there
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  Speaker 3: are things that a person, even without the experience of
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  Speaker 3: being married, can share with you to help you navigate
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  Speaker 3: your marriage, you know, even if I guess they don't
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  Speaker 3: walk the same walk as you.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess.
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  Speaker 4: For me, it's like, when things go wrong, you'll have
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  Speaker 4: people be like, well I would have did this, and
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  Speaker 4: I would have did.
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  Speaker 1: That, but you not.
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  Speaker 3: That's ridiculous, right, yeah, right.
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  Speaker 4: You know, right, So you know, in that aspect, I'm like,
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  Speaker 4: you can't tell me how to do my marriage.
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  Speaker 3: But is there something that someone could have told you
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  Speaker 3: before that you got before you got married, that could
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  Speaker 3: have helped you something that maybe you just didn't really realize.
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  Speaker 4: I don't know, you know. I also don't know because
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  Speaker 4: I didn't see a lot of health marriage coming up,
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  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Like my mom and dad
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  Speaker 4: got a divorced. Damn near all my aunts got divorced, you.
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  Speaker 5: Know what I mean.
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  Speaker 4: So I didn't really see a lot of relationship. I
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  Speaker 4: saw a lot of long relationships that didn't work last, right,
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  Speaker 4: you know, so they would together for a long time,
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  Speaker 4: but then they all decided to go separate ways. I
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  Speaker 4: didn't really see I didn't really have too many healthy
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  Speaker 4: relationships to look at growing up.
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  Speaker 3: So I think that kind of like answers the question
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  Speaker 3: in a sense. Maybe someone couldn't have told you something,
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  Speaker 3: but you probably would have benefited from good exams, good examples.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely, let's go to the phone line. Hello, who's this.
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  Speaker 5: Yo, Carolina?
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  Speaker 6: Man?
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  Speaker 1: What's up?
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  Speaker 5: Big?
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  Speaker 1: Talk to us?
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  Speaker 2: We be before you got married? You wish somebody told
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  Speaker 2: you what?
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  Speaker 5: Yo? Before I got married? Problems? Wish somebody told me
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  Speaker 5: it's more to it than just cheating. Like I thought
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  Speaker 5: love of I was faithful, everything else be good.
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  Speaker 2: As long as he was faithful, He thought everything would
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  Speaker 2: be good. So what's what's going wrong? What's matter?
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  Speaker 4: What?
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  Speaker 1: What?
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  Speaker 2: What? What's bad in a relationship?
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  Speaker 5: I should you know, I'm gonna say it'd be it'd
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  Speaker 5: be a little thing. Like you know. They want they
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  Speaker 5: want to be like hell all the time. Man. They
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  Speaker 5: want to just know who you take some who you're
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  Speaker 5: talking to, what time you're gonna be hold? What time
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  Speaker 5: do you see this? And I'm just like, it's a
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  Speaker 5: little you know what I mean? So I'm like, yo,
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  Speaker 5: tat too while.
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  Speaker 4: We So you don't want her to care.
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  Speaker 1: You don't want her to care? What you're saying, that's
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  Speaker 1: not like care. You don't want to hold her at night.
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  Speaker 5: I say, hold on now, I say all the time,
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  Speaker 5: I said sometimes you know what I mean. It's just
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  Speaker 5: it's just like sometimes that's cool. But sometimes if you
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  Speaker 5: trust in your person and your all the making everything man.
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  Speaker 4: Nowadays, now there's people not checking where you are because
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  Speaker 4: they concern you out doing dirt.
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  Speaker 1: They checking where you are because the world is crazy.
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  Speaker 1: The world is crazy crazy. Hellos Hi, Hi, good morning.
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  Speaker 6: That is unique from Mermot, Florida. Good morning, good morning.
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  Speaker 6: So two things. Firstly, as it relates to I'm Jamaican,
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  Speaker 6: I always late. I can't testify with jan and I'm
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  Speaker 6: always late no matter what.
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  Speaker 2: See Sean apparently it's in Giar is always late to
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  Speaker 2: So y'all y'all on the same plan.
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  Speaker 1: That easier on me?
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  Speaker 6: Then yes. And then I related to the husband question,
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  Speaker 6: I did not know that I would have been my
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  Speaker 6: husband maid.
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  Speaker 1: Oh you made you gotta do the cleaning and cooking
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  Speaker 1: and everything.
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  Speaker 6: I gotta do everything. If you're going on vacation, I
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  Speaker 6: have to be packing for him. I gotta pick up
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  Speaker 6: his socks because you know he gets cold. He takes
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  Speaker 6: off his socks all over.
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  Speaker 5: Leave them.
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  Speaker 6: Even the dog is even much more helpful than he is.
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  Speaker 4: Well what does he do?
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  Speaker 5: Say? You do?
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  Speaker 6: You work, and I work, and I work, and I
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  Speaker 6: go to school full time, and plus we have three kids.
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  Speaker 6: But he's a coddditional kid.
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  Speaker 2: Well, now you've got three jobs, you work, you go
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  Speaker 2: to school, and you're the maid.
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  Speaker 6: Tell me about it, he says, because he does the
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  Speaker 6: yard work, he can't do the yard work and the housework.
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  Speaker 1: That's true. I agree that sound like y'all are.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, let's just be reasonable here. Yard work is not
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  Speaker 3: a daily job.
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  Speaker 6: That's work every single day.
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  Speaker 3: We have a yard and it gets maintained once or
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  Speaker 3: twice a week.
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  Speaker 1: You can do the yard work.
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  Speaker 4: Would you want to cut the grass?
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  Speaker 1: You don't sound like a yard woman?
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  Speaker 2: No I'm not.
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  Speaker 6: But that does not say you can help me around
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  Speaker 6: the house because you have to cut the lawns.
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  Speaker 3: So what are you going to do about it? You're disgruntled,
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  Speaker 3: like the situation that you're in, What are you going
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  Speaker 3: to do about it?
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  Speaker 6: I complain all the time, but then it's like you
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  Speaker 6: complain today in help, but then next week it's like
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  Speaker 6: a whole different story over again.
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  Speaker 3: So why why don't you stop?
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  Speaker 1: Because she gives them the Jamaican d and then she's
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  Speaker 1: happy after.
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  Speaker 3: You mean, she gets yeah, but then you're not.
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  Speaker 6: Like when it comes to cleaning. So like even though
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  Speaker 6: you complain, is that at the end of the day,
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  Speaker 6: you have to get it done.
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  Speaker 1: And I ask you one question, Nick, are you with
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  Speaker 1: a Jamaican.
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  Speaker 6: Man, Yes, you're Jamaican as well.
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  Speaker 1: Is it true about Jamaica man eating a pump.
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  Speaker 3: Poom or should you say not not eating the pumpoom?
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  Speaker 6: I mean you manage Chinese Jamaica.
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  Speaker 1: Chinese?
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  Speaker 5: What does that mean? What does that mean? What does
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  Speaker 5: that mean?
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  Speaker 6: What that means looking texture?
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  Speaker 1: Or they eat unique things?
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  Speaker 4: They eat unique things, is what she's saying here.
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  Speaker 1: What gives it? What what you said? You can say that.
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  Speaker 3: It means they eat rice with it's.
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  Speaker 1: Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Jamaican. Throw that out there. Throw that
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  Speaker 1: out there. Eight hundred and five eighty five, one oh five.
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  Speaker 2: When we're asking before I got married, I wish somebody
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  Speaker 2: told me what we're taking your calls when we come
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  Speaker 2: back as the Breakfast club.
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  Speaker 1: Good morning,