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What If Being Here Now Is The Real Challenge? · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is Mark, and this podcast is for those courageous people who don't need more hustle or productivity hacks.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: They just need a little more honesty.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Again, my name is Mark Walker.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a certified life coach.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am a companion and I'm a fellow human on this path of showing up here for what's real in our lives.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And around here in Fierce Encouragement, we don't try to pitch and do that hustle flow crap.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: We just get really interested in asking better questions to ourselves and for those people around us.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So this is your place and your space to breathe, to reflect, and to remember what really matters in your life.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So you think coaching is a scam.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I don't blame you.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: The other day I was kind of out walking in the cold, uh just getting some movement in.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the sky is really gray in December around this time of year.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when I got back home, I kind of went down a Reddit rabbit hole doing some research.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I did some research about what people really think about life coaches.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And man, they did not hold back on Reddit.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Words like scammer and uh like an energy vampire came up, and even people calling coaches wannabe therapists.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some of those judgments and critiques really hit me right in the gut because I get it.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I I do.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I've seen it, I've felt it with some coaches and people I've worked with.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to feel the hype and then the vague outcomes or the results that we want.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: They just aren't there.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that Instagram uh life coach that's reading from a script and just trying to sell you something.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I've felt the same way about myself.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've had days where I wondered if this is all bullshit.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Should I get that real job, quote unquote, and if I'm helping anyone at all.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Last week I was out walking and talking to myself out loud and referring to myself in the third person, and this is literally my therapy sometimes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I admitted to myself on that walk that I've been doing more of the things that I don't want to do, that I've been eating a little bit more than I want to this holiday season, that I've been kind of tuning out or numbing out with TV and food and maybe that extra handful of cookies.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been feeling anxious about money, about my business, about clients.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've been feeling anxious and kind of untapped, I guess, about my life.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And really when we coach other people on showing up, well, it we can feel off balance ourselves as coaches.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then even reading that critique of coaching, it reminds me, reminds myself that not everything we do needs to be perfect to be true.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And doubt or hesitation doesn't mean that I'm off the path.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that doubt and that hesitation or that fear is part of our path.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So one person wrote, All the life coaches I've met don't even have their lives together.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Unquote.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Same.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have it all together.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not here as a coach to pretend that I do.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I do believe that's where a new kind of coaching can begin, not just one that's read from a script or even having a strict format or um framework for what the coaching is.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's where we stop trying to fix people and we start walking and being with people.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the truth.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: When we start to realize that coaching isn't about giving answers and advice, but it's about giving attention.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's about giving that deep, undistracted attention to people, this alone can change a life or a career or a relationship.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So here's one thing I'm putting into play this holiday season and the next couple weeks for me.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: For just one moment, and we can pick one part of our day, even a really boring one.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Pick that moment and let's treat it like it's sacred ground.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Washing the dishes, standing in line at the store, or even sitting on the couch watching your kid play.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just breathing in that moment, paying attention to what's really going on, and letting that moment this power of now, letting that moment just be enough.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I feel, I know, I understand that this is where our real power begins.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's not in a hack or a productivity method, but rather it's in presence.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: In the words of Eckhart Tolle, accept each moment as if you had chosen it.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: This will dissolve pain and resistance and let beauty emerge.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So no matter what happens this holiday season for me or you, can we look at it and just be present with it?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Just breathe and pay attention and act like we chose this moment.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this isn't about a hack, it's just a beautiful tool for the holidays and the new year.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: What a great way to start the new year with that warm, sacred presence for yourself and those around you.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe coaching isn't about changing your life.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's more about remembering who you are, who you are at your best, who you are when you get a little wobbly or lot knocked off balance, but come back.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it isn't about strict goals and gritting our way through those perfect morning routines.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe it's more about a human relationship that makes you brave and courageous in your own life and your own skin.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's a place where you can say, I don't feel good or I don't feel balanced today, I don't feel okay.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then we don't have that other person try to fix us.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now that sounds weird, right?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: What is coaching then if we're not fixing something?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's about slowing down and giving yourself that space and that time.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you aren't making resolutions this year, perfect.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start there.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start maybe not with resolutions, um, with promises to ourselves.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm really good at this, whether it's reducing the sugar or getting more movement and losing some of that weight that I put on.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't do that with just goals.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: We do that with that presence for ourselves and coming back to the moments that we're in.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Again, just breathing in, being present with wherever you're at this holiday season or this time of year, whenever you listen to this.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: How could you be more present in this moment, even listening to this?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And this doesn't come from a pressure to perform and be something for somebody else.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: When we do that, we're disconnected from what we really authentically want.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So by pausing, inviting that higher mind to come in instead of the fight or flight mind or the lower limbic system, we can let go of that pressure and that power that we need, the power we think we need to perform, but we can come back to just an imagined, positive, fierce encouragement for yourself.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: This version of you is already here.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's with you today, it's with you in the middle of a wobbly, difficult day or week.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: You are already enough.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can give yourself permission to slow down and be present this holiday season, that is the best kind of gift you can give yourself and your loved ones.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you give yourself that gift this year, today, that might change everything as you go into the new year, as you go in to the next project, as you practice being that type of person you want to be.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And talk to yourself.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Take those time, take that moment, that walk, and ask yourself what you really want from this moment, from this day.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard work and it's easy to feel anxious or negative, but remind yourself, it doesn't need to be perfect to be true.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And doubt doesn't mean you're off the path.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is not something you should let pull you off of your goals or your aims or your targets for the year.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes our doubt and fear is an indication we are on the path.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a reminder to myself: it's true.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of coaches are out there, and I can only work on guaranteeing how I show up as a coach.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is an open industry, and certifications uh abound from everywhere, from different programs, but ultimately a coach needs to have client number one on their uh radar, and that coach and client number one is them and their own habits and their own ability to show up in their lives.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: When we, as coaches, start to practice from that place of not giving answers or consulting or pushing people towards something, but rather inviting those people, our clients, and the people we have the chance to connect with.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to give attention to this project this next year?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because we don't hold people accountable to themselves.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Only you can do that, only our clients can do that.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: But we do encourage them fiercely, and we live in a deep, undistracted kind of a way with ourselves as the coach and client in our own life.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: This alone can change your coaching practice.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let the moment be enough.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just breathe and pay attention, and then ask yourself what needs to be done today.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't overdo it, but of course, don't underdo it and let fear and doubt dominate you.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So make some progress.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you sharing your time with me today.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And as we kind of finish up today, I just want you to know that you're doing a really good job out there practicing and listening to things like this.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for listening to Fierce Encouragement.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending your time with me this past year.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if this stirred something in you, write it down.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Get out that journal, write it down, or better yet, live it out loud today.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're looking for more conversations like this, if you're looking for some help in strategizing your new year, check out the link, grab a free strategy session session with me.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear what you're working on, and to give you that experience of connecting with somebody in kind of an impartial third party.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, stay brave, stay kind to yourself and others, and do not forget those quiet moments count more than we believe or think.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: This has been Mark.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: This has been Fierce Encouragement.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful day, have a wonderful rest of your year, and we'll connect soon.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Take care.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.