Latest / LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships / #23: Your Mental Health: Who’s Taking Care of You While You Take Care of Everyone Else?

Transcript

#23: Your Mental Health: Who’s Taking Care of You While You Take Care of Everyone Else? · LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch, a podcast that offers parenting tips for raising adult children and building better relationships with them.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not sure if you know this, but May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And since this is a topic that I care deeply about, I wanted to take a moment to share a quick message with you.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't plan to do this episode.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: I sort of woke up this morning thinking that you or someone you know might need to hear this.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So please share it if you feel it can make a difference to anyone in your life.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I read this quote earlier and it really spoke to me.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I tried searching for the author, but it doesn't appear to have one.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know who said it, you can leave their name in the comments.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a big believer in giving credit to those who deserve it.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here it is.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: A dysregulated parent cannot regulate a dysregulated child.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, if you feel like crap, there's no chance in hell you can help your child, regardless of their age.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Those words really spoke to me because we've all experienced something like that throughout our parenting journey.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if the word dysregulated needs some clarification, I'll give you the briefest description of it.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're overwhelmed, exhausted, easily triggered, ready to snap, hypersensitive, overreactive, foggy brained, and the smallest thing just sets you off.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like a wrestler who's been in the ring far too long.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: You are tapping out.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's what being dysregulated is.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel this way all the time, please speak to your doctor.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: For the rest of us who just experience it sporadically, I want you to know that it is perfectly normal.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And anyone who tells you that it's not or they have no idea what you're feeling is barely human.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Even men experience dysregulation just as frequently as women do, but it looks different for them and they hide it better.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I remember these feelings so well.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: When my kids were younger, I acted like a super mom.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I did everything for them.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I ran every household task, I worked full time, I even managed to get to the gym.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I did everything in my power to keep all the balls in the air.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if one fell, it was usually a personal one.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if it sounds like I didn't have any support, you're right.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: My parents lived in other cities, and my husband at the time thought I didn't need his help.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And no, I never let anyone think otherwise.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, those days are behind me now, and the gift I give myself for surviving it all ranges from never setting a morning alarm to barely planning a meal to lounging in my bed longer than I should.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I hate when my calendar fills up.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm too busy one day, I make sure the next one is light.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And my social battery has a lifespan of a flip phone that has one, maybe two bars left.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: My current husband knows that, and I won't plan more than one social event a week because that's all I have the patience for.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still a very active person who juggles a lot.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: The difference is I've learned that I can make myself a priority.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I still eat well and move my body very regularly.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm even in bed no later than 10 p.m.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: during the week, which is really early for me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to writing, posting podcast episodes, and talking to people that light me up, including my adult children, I have plenty of energy for that.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what this brief episode is about the importance of prioritizing you and your mental health.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, even though this podcast is to help you with your adult child, it's vital that you take care of yourself first.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not easy for many of us who are still in the thick of it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: The worst part is we are often too proud, too busy, or too insecure to even ask for help.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the truth.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Any parent who gets to the point of being burnt out, physically spent, and emotionally frayed is so useless that you won't be able to help anyone, including yourself.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to share a few simple but proven tips to get yourself back on track when you're feeling out of sorts.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And no, I will not be suggesting a bubble bath or a hot stone massage, although I'm sure they both feel good for a minute.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is solid research-based advice that works if you choose to do it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: One, move your body.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: A 20-minute walk, especially outside, can reset your whole system.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Nature lowers cortisol, boosts your mood, and clears your mind.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just getting fresh air, it will change the way you feel.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you want to do more, find a small, intimate gym that offers 45-minute classes.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I started this last year and it changed my body and my mind.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: But if that's too much, just walk outside.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Two, breathe deeply.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Breathing is the fastest way to tell your nervous system that you are not in danger.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that feeling calms your body and clears your mind in seconds.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can try it now.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, and exhale slowly for four seconds and do it again.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Research has shown us that taking short, shallow breaths, as most of us do, limits the oxygen that our brain needs to think clearly and stay calm.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So take some time each day to breathe deeply.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: 3.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Say what you're feeling, either out loud or on paper.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Stating how you're feeling lowers the emotional intensity in your brain, which is all you really need to stay calm.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Think of it like this.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: If I can name it, I can tame it.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I know suggesting that you buy a blank journal and write your feelings, thoughts, worries, and frustrations down might be a stretch for you.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I promise there is nothing more mentally soothing than getting shit out of your head and onto a blank page.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: You will close that journal feeling more clarity and calmness.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's as good as a walk or a few deep breaths.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the last one is probably something you do, but it's worth saying anyway because the first three suggestions are done alone.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Pick up the phone and talk to someone who gets you.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling heard, supported, and understood is incredibly beneficial.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing is more important to our mental health than connection.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if you feel like you don't have someone, you can always reach out to me.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just check the show notes for my contact info.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: It will be my pleasure to connect with you.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm keeping this unplanned episode brief, but I want you to know that the reason you need to make your mind and your body a priority is because you really can't help anyone unless you feel calm, centered, and somewhat in control.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Taking care of yourself doesn't make you a selfish parent, but it does make you a better one.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a five star review and remember to subscribe so you never miss another.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.