Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just The Concept of Service 'To the Max': Layers of Respect in Mitzvot and Honoring Parents 11.3.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just The Concept of Service 'To the Max': Layers of Respect in Mitzvot and Honoring Parents 11.3.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  369 they were looking. At night.
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  Night. Concept of dunia mitzvah with
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  Kavoden, that one dunia mitzvah with kavoden and the overall
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  questioning committee debate, which is should we be be very
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  reliable, very, you know, spending money on a mitzvah
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  lining with gold and all these things.
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  Doesn't it sound like maybe a little bit not like Hashem's
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  type is the mindset. So you tell us, no, that's how
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  you build up kavodchamaya. It's through building up kavoda
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  mitzvah because through seeing something saying I'm you give
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  that respect and it's a mitzvah deserving Hashem that helps me
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  build up basically the visual way in a sense my Kabul toward
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  Hashem himself. It's the structure is the
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  mindset and his health. That's the idea.
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  So now he gives us more examples of one example we said was
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  Bikram, when they brought the first fruits, they used to line
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  the baskets with gold or special baskets and they used to
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  actually write or bring them on animals that are horns that were
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  also lined with gold just to bring the first fruits to thank
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  God Shem. So you wonder if reading your
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  fruits, thank God Shem, you're a simple man with a simple
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  appreciation. We should be simple.
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  And his point is, no, we're not being simple in this area.
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  And it comes to him as well. You don't keep it to simplicity.
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  You go all the way. Now again, you've been saying,
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  but it's something they can be completely misconstrued and
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  misunderstood. Someone would say we should
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  spend like a zillion dollars, a billion dollars on a certain
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  program because you want to glorify something.
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  It's debatable. All those things are debatable.
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  You got to keep it toward serving Hashem, not towards
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  serving himself. That's the key.
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  Now he gives us another example, another example of being
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  elaborate and expansive in mitzvah.
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  It says it's follows Valmroux on 269.
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  Rabbi say Rabbah made short to wear nice shoes before he
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  prayed. Ahmadi said Franbazuki on the
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  crot. You got to prepare before you
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  greet God. Same idea.
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  If you think about it, dressing up to pray is based on this
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  theme as well. All about soup, Basuk says about
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  the beautiful clothing, the precious garments of Ka's son
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  ESA. Where the precious garments were
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  referring to. That's another point, ESA, but
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  he just do he would have him. He did it to the Max and he wore
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  various versal clothing before he served his father as he
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  served his father as a sign. And that's an example of really
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  expanding him, his father, and I'll figure.
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  That that he was like that and he was such an evil man.
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  So did he. Figure that.
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  There's two ways to figure one. It depends how how you break
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  down his side of his mind. One approach is Izzah was very
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  good at logical mitzvahs. Kibwuda of AM is one of the most
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  logical mitzvah we have. We loved his father.
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  But if? He went against.
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  Let's break it down. Kibwuda of AM is a very logical
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  mitzvah, which means it makes a lot of sense to honor your
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  father. It's one of the most practical
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  ones. If you give a speech about the
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  Torah to a group of non Jews, you would use Kibwuda of AM as
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  your example of a sensible ethical concept because it's
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  sensible ethical. So itself could accept sensible
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  ethical things. He maybe had a harder time with
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  things that don't seem as sensible as the good thing is 1.
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  Secondly, as you can go a little bit more a little bit, you know,
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  not so much trusting Assad because yeah, Assad was in it
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  for the money, which is his father was very wealthy man.
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  Maybe by starting his father he thought he might get something
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  out of it. All right, there's an angle of
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  that. There are different angles.
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  But anyhow, as I've did that into an extreme and I'm on a
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  bunch of moment of meal the robbery said I need Shimashit
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  ABBA. I served my father Avalisa A
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  Saab didn't hold him up a Saab because I mentioned I leave.
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  I mentioned a little bit there my hoot A Saab.
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  We served his father with world clothing and I found some of his
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  point was I wish that my kid would have been We even came
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  post without shows you is as the such a thing Colin doing.
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  He would have and to the Max there and the point is is that
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  there are layers and layers and layers of how much a person they
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  serve their parent. You can serve your parent by
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  just being a decent son. You can serve your parent if I
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  visit any once in a while. You can serve them that calling
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  them once in a while. You can serve them by making
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  them feel good when you're right there when they need you be
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  there when you need you say the right thing to them.
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  Make them not feel lonely. There are many men aboard.
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  There are many, many layers of how to serve your parent.
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  The idea is the fact that our layers indicates the idea that
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  there's something called cavort and then there's something
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  called real cavort and bigger cavort.
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  And this is the overall theme of a person being very strong in a
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  mid saw. The theme is that there are
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  layers and levels and you can build it up and some people, you
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  know, those people who do Q would have amped to the Max and
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  those people are very impressive in this area and as an example
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  of doing much well all the way all.
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  Right. What do you?
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  What do you vision as? What's the Max like?
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  What's an example of something else to the Max today so.
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  Usually a good question. Usually to me, you go to the
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  sentiment of the law more than the law itself.
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  Which means it's not just enough that when you're around your
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  parents, you say, oh, can I give you something?
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  It's more about making sure it's the personal opinion of your
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  mind. Making sure that your parents
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  are good. I have service.
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  Keyboard of them is actually service.
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  Making sure they're good means either be financial or it is
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  mentally making sure that sound like it was ever a city door
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  messy show all their needs are met right in that morning for
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  now, right? And if they feel taken care of,
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  it's all about the combination of the mental emotional state,
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  being perfect. Sitting with someone yesterday.
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  And they told me that when his father passed away, his mother
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  cannot end up being alone, which is very common.
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  And they had to make sure to have someone there every single
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  night, every single night. And that was a hard thing for
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  them. For her, it was a struggle.
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  Certain people can handle being alone.
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  Many people can. That's a different structure.
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  So then you have to fix something else.
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  Maybe it's not so much. I give you the many examples of
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  people whom after the some of the spouse passed away or
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  whatever is keeping going down that roof for a second after
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  they passed away, they did through the certain kind of life
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  that they used to have that was no longer there.
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  Maybe they used to come home from work every day and talk
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  about work. Or maybe he was involved in
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  public service and he's talking about his public service and he
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  was about in the community and that he's talking about And now
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  that whole area is empty and you think, we think, OK, I'm taking
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  care of our financial needs. What about that?
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  What about filling that void? So addressing the mental and
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  emotional combination is something that's very valuable
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  and it can be done to a beautiful way.
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  Or you can say, listen, they have food, they have roof over
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  their head, they're good to go. I'll visit when I visit.
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  That's different minds. It's a very limited mindset.
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  So really I think you have to go to the sentiment of the law and
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  more and more and more importantly, go to the core of
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  what it means that they're taken care of.
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  And from their vantage point, are they good?
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  If they're good, you're doing a decent job.
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  If they're not good because they miss and they long and they feel
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  bad and all those things, but we can do a better job.
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  And again, there are many, many layers of rule.
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  Address that. Don't make them feel needy.
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  Don't make them feel like when you're visiting, you're doing
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  them a favor, right? And you get to them.
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  Sit down and actually visit. Talk to them about things that
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  make them feel good, not just trying to.
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  There's our many, many layers, right?
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  I'll give you an example of some people I know.
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  Instead of them eating over you, you eat over them so that they
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  feel like there's the hosts or some people the parents like to
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  call for the children. There are different structures
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  and different things to different people.
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  We all face different examples in our own lives, but the
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  overall theme is that there are many, many layers.
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  There's a regular guy and then top #1 is itself in that
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  structure is shows how many layers you had.
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  All right. So this is you can never see it
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  over your house that they're supposed to sit at the head of
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  the table. Good.
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  Question. Depends what you want to do.
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  I don't. You don't.
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  No, I follow. And my father was alive.
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  He used to come over. He didn't.
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  Or you didn't. He didn't prove it.
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  You didn't like it. Really.
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  Yeah. Some people they do, many people
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  they do. And I could see it and I give my
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  follow. He comes over by the street.
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  And you follow. That's a separate question also.
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  Follow same question that's a brother that's that's more of a
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  complicated question, which is when you have that question
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  father against father-in-law type question which of father's.
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  1st right? But they're both in the same
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  table. They're yeah, father first.
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  But in general you can choose a agency verometer, whatever it is
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  any extent feel good. There's no rules really.
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  The reason why you're not to give them that at the table and
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  then reason why to the reason why not to is because you don't
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  want to basically upset your structure.
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  It's very important on your own table with your kids around and
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  you have your structure. It's also very important to show
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  your children how much you are. You serve your parent an
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  unbelievable point and point and it cannot be stated enough.
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  He's how important it is for children to see their parents
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  respecting their parents, your grandparents.
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  It's unbelievably important, unbelievably impactful.
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  It's crazy how impactful this is when your children see you
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  serving your parents and even if they complain, why is that
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  you're not around? And even if they don't really
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  understand why are we visiting every week and all these things,
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  100 percent, 1000%. It's there's no way to to, to
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  emphasize this enough. Serving your parents gives over
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  to your children. You want your children to serve
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  you. You serve your parents and now
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  it always is a workout fully, but it's very much a clear.
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  Situation, right? Now back to you, I mean, I, I
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  for years visiting my parents every Friday night, every Friday
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  around fail and at times it was like I came home late and
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  Shabbat meal started later. And somebody that still do it,
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  hopefully you'll be able to do it forever.
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  And at times like, you know, you come home at night, you Shabbat
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  meal starting later. And I have little kids and they
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  get Wilder the later it is and all these things and I can
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  question it, but always my line is my mindset is if I don't do
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  this and what are they going to do to me if I don't show them.
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  And it really comes from the fact that when we used to walk
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  home on Shabbat every week from Lawrence Ebony showing deal.
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  So my grandfather taught us a level of Shalom live in between
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  Lawrence no last deal. I'm used to stop by every single
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  be my father's take us to his fault in law and we stopped by
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  and we stopped by and sat down. I was a good chunk of time and
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  to have our walk and this is really delaying the meal, right?
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  You stop by my grandfather, We relate the story of what
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  happened until Schwanchebat. We'll hear the whole thing and
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  then they'll talk and duh. And it was always my grandmother
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  already passed away. My grandfather was married,
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  right? And the Sarah's recalled that we
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  want us to eat and we didn't eat and there's always a thing.
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  And I was a joke as every single week.
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  We all fail and at times it's in back of my mind.
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  You know, you think all you do is every week, but it had an
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  impact and I cannot tell you how much of an impact they had and I
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  carried over, I believe to us and hopefully to our children.
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  And the same thing is all of you.
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  When you serve your parents in any way that you do, it is going
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  over to your family and it's impacting, moulding yourself.
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  There's no greater way to raise and get over to your children is
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  with this example. That's the reason something of
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  Eric you would have him is unbelievable.
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  Can I read this over to Hashem as well and that is if you
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  realize that there are ladies in service of your father.
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  There's also ladies in service of Hashem.
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  For example, when you stand to pray that we who she about speak
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  that can avoid it should be dressed the right way.
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  But yeah, she live for now. Come on, she Hashem stand in
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  front of him like standing in front of AG King.
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  Now back to your question about Grant with this question, which
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  was what about Carrot coming over?
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  Who's sitting there at the table?
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  Really, They deserve too. Your parents deserves too.
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  Doesn't what a mom say that the. When he's open Obama, maybe I
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  don't know of, but they deserve too just out of respect.
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  The only challenge I have to avoid is you don't want to upset
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  your family structure. So I didn't and I don't do it.
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  I'm sure I'm when you're. When you're when Charles Sylvia
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  came over, your father didn't. Didn't either.
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  OK, but I'm I'm sure I offered it and there was like 1/2 offer
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  and then it take him half. But but we give them kids you
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  shots for sure. We don't give them a multi by
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  the way. If you don't can customize your
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  body does some of this.