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Why Narcissists Put Their Family & Friends Above You? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  So why do narcissists put their family and friends ahead of you
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  if you are not a part of their family?
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  And if you are not a friend, if you're their partner, their
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  husband, their wife, why do they insist on putting other people
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  in front of you? That's today's topic out of
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  course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist Here. We get it inside.
• 0:22
  Look at the mind of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Let's go. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back. Yes, yo, why on earth do those
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  pesky desky, narcissistic people that you love and care about put
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  other people in front of you make you feel this big when
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  you're just trying to love them? Why on earth do they can insist
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  on doing that to you, right? One of the main reasons we're
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  going to hop right into it, y'all?
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  One of the main reasons that they do this is to just make you
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  feel this big. This big.
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  They want to make you feel small.
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  They want to make you feel insignificant.
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  They want to do all of those things because it makes them
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  feel bigger. Like imagine if they have a best
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  friend that you, that you, you know they have this friend that
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  you know that this friend exists, right?
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  You, this friend knows that you exist and you asked them to do
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  something. Hey, can you do this for me?
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  And they just like, well, I have plans with my friend.
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  He's like, look, you can still do the plans with a friend.
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  I just need you to do this for me.
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  And they're like, hell no, I'm not going to stop doing this.
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  Or if their friend is a horrible human being and keeps putting
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  them in predicaments. Your friend does not like me.
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  Look, your friend doesn't like me.
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  Can you please not go out with them tonight?
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  I'm not cutting my friends off for you.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm not doing that.
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  They want to make you feel small, right?
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  They want to make you feel this big.
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  They want to make you feel tiny because the smaller you feel the
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  better they feel, right? The smaller you feel, the better
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  that narcissistic person feels, and that's just the way it goes
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  a lot of times, y'all, that's the way it goes.
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  And also they don't want look, they a lot of times you get a
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  lot of narcissists that operate from a place that they feel like
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  they're going to lose everything, right?
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  They feel like they're going to lose.
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  They always feel like have a, they have abandonment issues.
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  So they're always thinking that you're going to leave or people
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  going to leave them. And they always want to make
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  space for the people that are already there, right?
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  They already have people that are there and whatnot that they
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  don't want to lose. Hey, I'm not cutting my friends
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  off for you. I'm not cutting my family off
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  for you. Like you didn't ask them to cut
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  them off. You just asked them to ask ask
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  to set a boundary. Hey, can you set a boundary on
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  your best like this? Let's just say your narcissistic
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  boyfriend, right has a girl that he used to date that's his best
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  friend now. And you just said, hey, can you
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  set a boundary with them to have them not call you at 1:00 in the
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  morning and stop sending you bikini pictures and things like
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  that because it's kind of weird. I know y'all you said y'all just
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  friends and they don't like to be around me but can you have
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  them stop sending you these naked pictures and stuff like
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  that at 2:00 in the morning asking you are you up?
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  Wow, You want me to cut my. You trying to isolate me, aren't
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  you? You're trying to isolate me like
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  everybody else. You.
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  You must be a narcissist. I can't believe you would try to
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  isolate me like this. I can't believe you would do
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  this to me. You're a narcissist.
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  I can't believe I'm not cutting my friends off from you.
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  And yeah, they might be some explicit bikini pictures, but
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  I'm not. I'm not.
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  Yeah, I hit it before. Yeah, we've clapped cheeks
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  before, and I don't want to do that again.
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  But I'm not going to cut my friends off because it makes you
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  feel more comfortable. Why would I do that?
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  You're a narcissist. Isn't that crazy as hell?
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  Yeah. How they say that.
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  Yeah. The best friend is Renicenter
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  this time right there. But this is the mentality that
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  so many people face and go up against right here, right?
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  This is why they do this type of stuff.
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  They also love the nature of triangulation.
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  Yeah, the nature of triangulation.
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  They love pitting you against people because if you think like
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  they say, if I can convince you that my family and friends don't
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  like you, then you are more than likely going to believe me and
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  trust me. And do this.
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  Do that right, You're going to believe me, trust me, blah,
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  blah, blah, Boo Boo Boo like you.
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  Or if I tell you my family and friends don't like you, but I
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  don't cut them off, that creates this space where I can go talk
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  to my friend, family and friends.
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  I can go hang with them an elite and it gives you excuse not to
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  invite you. It gives me the excuse to not
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  invite you. You can't.
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  You know you don't like my family and friends, so why would
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  you want to come to their birthday party?
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  Why do you want to come to my mom's birthday party when you
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  don't like her? When you don't like her?
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  Why do you want to do that when you don't like her?
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  Y'all don't like each other. Y'all been battling blah blah
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  blah Boo Boo Boo BBB, you know what I'm saying?
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  This is what called that goes on right here.
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  They love the nature of being able to triangulate you against
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  other people. If y'all just join the live on
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  YouTube, Facebook or whatever, hit that like button.
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  Y'all hit the like button that we have.
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  Helps reach more people and whatnot as well, y'all.
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  But yeah, narcissistic people do.
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  They do love just putting you down, y'all.
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  They love like there are a lot of narcissists.
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  I'm not saying every single one of them, but there are a lot of
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  narcissistic people that love devaluing you, right?
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  They love to devalue you. They love to put you down.
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  Like putting you down makes them feel better about themselves.
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  What? I know it sounds crazy, but
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  putting you down or saying something negative to you makes
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  them feel better about themselves, makes them feel
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  better about their current life or whatever the case may be.
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  So sometimes in order to put you down, they lift the family
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  member up. They'll compare you and contrast
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  you to a family member. My girl cousin or my boy cousin
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  is better than you at this. Can't believe you did this.
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  Can't believe that it's. Yeah, it's wicked triangulation.
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  It really, really is. It is wicked triangulation.
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  And this is type of stuff that is going to continue to happen.
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  Like, they're even. Like, even if their friends are
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  horrible people, you get a lot of narcissistic people to have
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  friends that are horrible, horrible, evil bastards.
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  And you know that they're evil. But that narcissistic partner of
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  yours will not make them, will not cut them off.
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  I'm not going to cut my friends off.
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  Why would I do that? My friends have been around
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  longer than you. Yeah, my friends have you get.
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  We've got caught up and went to jail several times because of
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  those same friends. But I'm not going to cut them
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  off. Why would I do that?
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  You know, why would I do that right there?
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  Why? Why, Why?
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  Why? Why would I go about doing that?
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  Yeah. And then this what ends up
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  happening right there. So they're not, they're always
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  going to make you feel this big in comparison to their friend
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  comparison, comparison to their family and friends.
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  And I absolutely know that's tough to hear for a lot of
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  people, right. Like who said this shit?
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  I had a little interaction with his family, not that many get
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  togethers. I was always nice to them.
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  In the last several months, he started talking to them about me
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  and they started disliking me. Yep, sometimes they put the
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  family and friends above you to to drive that wedge right there
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  so they can spread rumors. They can do a smear campaign on
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  you while you're still together. They won't break up with you,
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  but they'll start a smear campaign against you while
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  you're still actively in the relationship with them.
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  That's an isn't that crazy right there?
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  Isn't that damn near idiotic right there?
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  Y'all? It's crazy.
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  It is insane how it goes right there.
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  They do this type of stuff all the time.
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  Would it make you feel like you're going crazy or make you
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  feel like you're you you. Like I said, you're losing your
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  mind or whatever the case may be in this situations, right?
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  This is what happens to so many people like their friends and
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  family members will again, most times his friends start talking
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  shit. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
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  There you go right there. I literally about to say
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  something similar to this right here.
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  Thank you. Smile to love, smile to life,
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  love. But this is what happens right
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  here. Their friends will start
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  disliking you based on the rumors and things like that.
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  The narcissist says, right? They they would do that and
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  that, that you know that that's how it happened right there.
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  They will start disliking you based on the things that the
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  narcissist says. So if I can create this wedge
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  right there, if I keep putting them above you and making you
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  jealous of my friends and family members or how I treat them, you
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  feel this big, but it also drives a wedge.
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  You stop liking my family and friends who you might not have
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  met or who you who you might have met, met one time and they
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  stopped talking to you. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mentality right there.
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  It keeps going in this zone right here.
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  And this is hey, if you're dealing with an abusive,
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  manipulative narcissist, this is part of the hey.
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  This has got a part of the process right here.
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  I'm not saying you should like it, but you this is what's going
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  to happen. Like if they have friends now, a
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  lot of not a lot of narcissists out there have some of y'all who
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  might be watching this are just like, well, Lee, my narcissist
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  department doesn't have any friends.
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  They don't have any family members.
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  Do they even like to they but they put strangers above me.
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  They put the they put the people in the church above me.
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  They'll put the they'll put their people in their online
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  groups or their video game teams that get above me.
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  They won't stop. They'll put strangers that are
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  playing Fortnite with them above me.
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  And I'll ask how does that make you feel?
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  How does it make you feel right there?
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  How does it make you feel when they put a Fortnite stranger
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  above you? How does it feel when they put
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  somebody taking their what's the Roblox or brain somebody,
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  somebody that's on their brain rot team against you?
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  It makes you feel small, doesn't it?
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  And that's the goal right there. That's absolutely the goal is to
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  make you feel this big and they'll keep doing that type of
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  stuff right there. Yes, April, the the podcast is
• 10:07
  releasing the more y'all. I got more to that.
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  More on that to come here in a few minutes.
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  Now he is telling my cousin he doesn't know what is wrong.
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  Like what? Yeah, that's what happened right
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  there. I don't know what's going on.
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  I don't know what what happened to her.
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  I don't know why she stopped talking to me.
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  I don't know why she broke up with me.
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  I had no idea all this stuff was going on behind the scenes.
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  I had no idea an alien could fall out of the sky.
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  He put the alien above me. Yeah.
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  That's why sometimes if you see them consistently finding people
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  to put above you, then you it might be time to go right there.
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  Like I'm not telling people to leave.
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  I stopped doing it a while ago right?
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  But if you feel like you're not being treated like or valued
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  like you want to be treated or valued, it might be time to pack
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  up and go right, because this does not get better over time.
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  And yes, some of them do that right there.
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  Cynthia, you on .2 to sabotage the relationship in totality.
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  They will sabotage the relationship just based on the
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  type of stuff right there. His sister is the same.
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  His sister don't like his other sister-in-law.
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  She said to him, I can destroy his mental health.
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  Oh Lord, they spread. He just prayed.
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  He's triangulate everybody against each other.
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  Everybody against each other except for me.
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  You know what I mean? Everybody against each other
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  except for me right there. And that's what ends up
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  happening right there. They'll keep doing this type of
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  stuff, man. I say the more you go, the more
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  you keep moving forward. This person, they'll do this
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  type of stuff. Yeah.
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  It's an outward reputation guard.
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  Absolutely. He would talk to our neighbor
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  for 1520 minutes, then come in the house and not talk to me
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  out. Yep.
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  Trying to make you feel smaller, trying to make you feel like you
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  don't deserve his words, You don't deserve the conversation.
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  My neighbor, who I don't know who, I only know the neighbor's
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  name. They're above you now too, in
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  the hierarchy that is our life. You are down here.
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  Everybody else is above you. And again, every once in a
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  while, they might put, they might move you from the bottom
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  of that hierarchy to the middle, or for a few minutes they might
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  put you on top. But then they drop, they drop
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  your ass right back down sooner or later, right?
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  They drop your ads right back down sooner or later.
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  That's what continues. That will consistently,
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  continuously happens in these spaces, right y'all?
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  No, I did not say I left with his alien, but yeah, so right.
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  He didn't even know our neighbors name, you see.
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  How do I know that 'cause I know what type of stuff be going on.
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  You know what I'm saying? I know, I know I've been knowing
• 12:25
  the type of stuff that goes on right here y'all, but also
• 12:28
  y'all. The podcast is releasing 2
• 12:32
  Morrow tomorrow. The mental illness podcast
• 12:36
  launches my very first episode. If you follow me on YouTube,
• 12:39
  find it go go check out the video.
• 12:41
  It's on YouTube right now. It's like I said, it's it's
• 12:43
  going to be a premiere for it tomorrow on YouTube.
• 12:47
  Like I said, if you're watching this on YouTube, Go to YouTube
• 12:50
  right now and just mark to watch the premiere tomorrow.
• 12:54
  It's an amazing episode about surviving narcissistic abuse,
• 12:57
  surviving A narcissistic relationship, the betrayal, all
• 13:01
  this type of stuff. Y'all is going on tomorrow.
• 13:03
  It's going to be live tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, Let's go
• 13:06
  yeah, you go to live yeah, I'll be live again tomorrow right
• 13:09
  before the podcast drops. But yes, it's tomorrow, y'all.
• 13:14
  Tomorrow the podcast goes live. Mental illness podcast, so make
• 13:18
  sure you check it out y'all and also my coaching, my courses,
• 13:22
  everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 13:26
  Check it out. It's on the screen right now,
• 13:27
  Mental illness.net for the my one-on-one zooms, my coaching,
• 13:31
  my courses, every single thing is at mentalillness.net.
• 13:35
  Yeah and I said I'll be I'll probably be live again later on
• 13:38
  this evening and tomorrow right before the podcast, make sure
• 13:41
  y'all hit the subscribe button. If you haven't already check out
• 13:44
  the podcast tomorrow. I appreciate it y'all seriously.
• 13:47
  And we will chat tomorrow. Y'all be safe.
• 13:49
  Thank y'all for tuning in today. Be safe, take care of
• 13:51
  yourselves. And as always, as always, y'all,
• 13:53
  mental illness is out. Peace.
• 13:56
  Peace in the Middle East.